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Fifty Shades of Greg
Probably the most candid, brutally honest, and often hilarious insight ever published into sex, dating, love, and heartbreak from a man's perspective. Fifty Shades of Greg is a sometimes graphic first-person recounting of modern-day dating experiences during the author's seven year stay in Italy. No fairy tales, just the brutally straight truth from a real guy. One that could sometimes be described as a hopeless romantic, and other times a flaming a**hole. (There I said it.) First date family planners? Stalkers? Romance novel reenactors? Obsessives? Sex freaks? Runaway brides? We've got you covered! Often scarcely credible, and hilarious, we navigate the insanity of one man's "love" (sex?) life… and the slow torture of his twisted soul. So join Greg as he exposes himself (not like that), through his thoughts and experiences. It often isn't pretty, he'll probably be murdered by feminists, but it sure makes for a good read! "No, seriously, you'll be hooked." "Made me smile all the way through! From a feminist point of view (like a non-man-hating-feminist… the true kind). I thought it was both hilarious and deep." "I've never read anything that made me make so many shocked faces! People on the train would ask me what I was reading." "I couldn't stop reading. Made me miss my bus stop a bunch of times!" "This is brilliant!!!! Absolutely fantastic … saying so much truth and so much that people shy away from." "Goes from hilariously crass to surprisingly beautiful." -Feedback from actual women!
315 pages, Paperback
First published May 28, 2018
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87 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 31 reviews
October 16, 2018
Five ++++ Everything Stars*****
Whenever I read a book and it makes me feel every kind of emotion posible, I know that’s a five star read for me. And that’s what I felt while reading this book, everything.
I came across this book on my feed; read the blurb and I thought it was interesting that it a was non-fiction story, written by a man about fifty of his dating experiences. Sounds interesting right?
I love unique stories, and sometimes we simply get too much of the same. But not with this book, oh no... You have to be ready, because when you open the pages of Fifty Shades Of Greg, you will get the beautiful, the bad, and the ugly about dating. And Greg has a hilarious sense of humor that will have you laughing throughout the book.
Greg starts us off easy, we go from love, to lust at a gradual pace. His writing style feels smart, eloquent, and I might even call it familiar. I say this because the tone of the book feels comfortable like if you are hanging out at your favorite bar, listening to your friend tell you crazy stories about his dating life over drinks.
As a thirty-something-year-old woman obsessed with romance and passion, it was such a treat to learn about the way this man thinks and feels about sex and love.
You have to have an open mind when you read this book because it will be sexy, filthy, raw and one hundred percent real. This man will show us all real aspects of his experiences, inner thoughts, and personality. I thought this was extremely brave, because the truth is that he could have picked, and choose what to reveal, he could have made himself look like a prince, but he didn’t, he showed us his true self; and good for him because it made his story, one hell of a read.
I felt truly entertained, and inspired by Greg’s story. This was one of those books that had me constantly thinking about it, to the point where I didn’t want to do anything else, other than read it. I’m so very happy I stumbled upon this book.
I love discovering new authors. There are so many talented storytellers out there. Greg Archer is definitely an author whose work you want to check out. So, open up your mind, and perhaps a delicious bottle of wine, and join Greg on his crazy ride.
My Fifty Shades Of Greg music playlist:
*Used To Love Her-Live In Japan/1988 by Guns N’ Roses
*Lust For Life by Lana Del Rey
*You’re In Love With A Psycho by Kasabian
*Over You by Ingrid Michaelson
*Sex And Candy by Maroon Five
*Use Me by Bill Withers
*I Feel it Coming by The Weekend
*Magic by ColdPlay
Whenever I read a book and it makes me feel every kind of emotion posible, I know that’s a five star read for me. And that’s what I felt while reading this book, everything.
I came across this book on my feed; read the blurb and I thought it was interesting that it a was non-fiction story, written by a man about fifty of his dating experiences. Sounds interesting right?
I love unique stories, and sometimes we simply get too much of the same. But not with this book, oh no... You have to be ready, because when you open the pages of Fifty Shades Of Greg, you will get the beautiful, the bad, and the ugly about dating. And Greg has a hilarious sense of humor that will have you laughing throughout the book.
Greg starts us off easy, we go from love, to lust at a gradual pace. His writing style feels smart, eloquent, and I might even call it familiar. I say this because the tone of the book feels comfortable like if you are hanging out at your favorite bar, listening to your friend tell you crazy stories about his dating life over drinks.
As a thirty-something-year-old woman obsessed with romance and passion, it was such a treat to learn about the way this man thinks and feels about sex and love.
You have to have an open mind when you read this book because it will be sexy, filthy, raw and one hundred percent real. This man will show us all real aspects of his experiences, inner thoughts, and personality. I thought this was extremely brave, because the truth is that he could have picked, and choose what to reveal, he could have made himself look like a prince, but he didn’t, he showed us his true self; and good for him because it made his story, one hell of a read.
I felt truly entertained, and inspired by Greg’s story. This was one of those books that had me constantly thinking about it, to the point where I didn’t want to do anything else, other than read it. I’m so very happy I stumbled upon this book.
I love discovering new authors. There are so many talented storytellers out there. Greg Archer is definitely an author whose work you want to check out. So, open up your mind, and perhaps a delicious bottle of wine, and join Greg on his crazy ride.
My Fifty Shades Of Greg music playlist:
*Used To Love Her-Live In Japan/1988 by Guns N’ Roses
*Lust For Life by Lana Del Rey
*You’re In Love With A Psycho by Kasabian
*Over You by Ingrid Michaelson
*Sex And Candy by Maroon Five
*Use Me by Bill Withers
*I Feel it Coming by The Weekend
*Magic by ColdPlay
September 6, 2018
Quite conflicted and unable to adequately convey my thoughts re Greg and his fifty ladies. On the surface his story seems benign, fun, and irreverent; yet, it’s highly thought provoking. I don’t know. Review to come.
September 1, 2018
4.5 stars
If you are not a fan of the antihero, find yourself another book. And read the blurb because it speaks the truth.
"I’d come to have even more intense relationships, more intense feelings, all-consuming. The result would still be the same. The ones I burn for leave. The others I get bored of. Sometimes I wonder if it’s all doomed, maybe I should just settle. I just can’t get myself to do it. Maybe I’m just too much of a romantic. Maybe I’m just a greedy fucker."
Greg is many things. The most common words used during our buddy-read were asshole, dick, and self-absorbed, but you can probably grasp that from the blurb. Greg is also a romantic, who, after one failed relationship attempt after another, becomes jaded and cynical. Basically, a penis driven asshat. But if you read closely, even during some of his more vile behavior, you will see just how big his heart is. He mentions at the end of the book that his persona is “a bit of a dick” (established) and that “there is another side to a guy like (him).” I 100% believe this. I felt a sense of respect in nearly every encounter (to some degree anyway), and it did not go unnoticed how many of the women he seemed to remain friendly with afterward—no matter how crazy they were or what they had done.
What I really loved about this book is that good or bad, it’s his truth. He doesn’t sugarcoat. He tells it like it is—or at least how he thinks it is. All in all, I was engrossed, and I felt all the things. I rolled my eyes. I cheered him on. I laughed my ass off. I cringed—both for him and because of him. And in the end, my heart broke for him because Greg is not just a penis driven asshat; he is a real dude with real hopes and dreams who makes real mistakes...and who should probably stay off Tinder.
"I discovered deep, deep feelings I had never felt before, overwhelming feelings. She made my soul ache. My bones screamed for her in the mornings."
Fifty Shades of Greg is compulsively readable. I found it impossible to put down, and considering how fast most of my fellow buddy-readers blew through it (whether they liked it or not), it seems they did too.
Go in with an open mind and a big bottle of prosecco and just enjoy the ride.
If you are not a fan of the antihero, find yourself another book. And read the blurb because it speaks the truth.
"I’d come to have even more intense relationships, more intense feelings, all-consuming. The result would still be the same. The ones I burn for leave. The others I get bored of. Sometimes I wonder if it’s all doomed, maybe I should just settle. I just can’t get myself to do it. Maybe I’m just too much of a romantic. Maybe I’m just a greedy fucker."
Greg is many things. The most common words used during our buddy-read were asshole, dick, and self-absorbed, but you can probably grasp that from the blurb. Greg is also a romantic, who, after one failed relationship attempt after another, becomes jaded and cynical. Basically, a penis driven asshat. But if you read closely, even during some of his more vile behavior, you will see just how big his heart is. He mentions at the end of the book that his persona is “a bit of a dick” (established) and that “there is another side to a guy like (him).” I 100% believe this. I felt a sense of respect in nearly every encounter (to some degree anyway), and it did not go unnoticed how many of the women he seemed to remain friendly with afterward—no matter how crazy they were or what they had done.
What I really loved about this book is that good or bad, it’s his truth. He doesn’t sugarcoat. He tells it like it is—or at least how he thinks it is. All in all, I was engrossed, and I felt all the things. I rolled my eyes. I cheered him on. I laughed my ass off. I cringed—both for him and because of him. And in the end, my heart broke for him because Greg is not just a penis driven asshat; he is a real dude with real hopes and dreams who makes real mistakes...and who should probably stay off Tinder.
"I discovered deep, deep feelings I had never felt before, overwhelming feelings. She made my soul ache. My bones screamed for her in the mornings."
Fifty Shades of Greg is compulsively readable. I found it impossible to put down, and considering how fast most of my fellow buddy-readers blew through it (whether they liked it or not), it seems they did too.
Go in with an open mind and a big bottle of prosecco and just enjoy the ride.
September 2, 2018
I'm giving this one five stars because
1. I read it in one sitting. Could not put down.
2. It's easy to read, flows well and has great editing.
3. It's unique for me. I've never read anything like it.
It's the story of a guy, supposedly written by said guy. A Canadian guy who moves to Italy as his first serious relationship fails. He tells us of his seven years of online dating and the enormous amount of crazy he meets during that time. He also touches on a couple of emotional, romantic relationships that failed for him. He does this with wit and humor. Often self-deprating, always persevering.
I found this story strangely moving. ❣️
1. I read it in one sitting. Could not put down.
2. It's easy to read, flows well and has great editing.
3. It's unique for me. I've never read anything like it.
It's the story of a guy, supposedly written by said guy. A Canadian guy who moves to Italy as his first serious relationship fails. He tells us of his seven years of online dating and the enormous amount of crazy he meets during that time. He also touches on a couple of emotional, romantic relationships that failed for him. He does this with wit and humor. Often self-deprating, always persevering.
I’ve learned it takes an insane amount of willpower, or wanks, to avoid these situations, to not get sucked into doing stupid things by those hormones. I’m pretty good at one of those two things…
Still working on the willpower…
I found this story strangely moving. ❣️
September 1, 2018
4.5 “Don’t Settle” Stars
I have to say this book was truly addictive! Before reading it, you should pay attention to the blurb. It is a very candid, no holds barred account of Greg’s dating life over the years. Let me just say “wow” because some of them were really out there! Over the course of the book, there are definite times you feel sorry for the women in his life but an equal amount where your heart breaks for him. A couple of gals (one in particular) truly did a number on him. At the end of the day, he’s a romantic at heart who is looking for that “missing piece”—- I hope he finds it and doesn’t “settle.”
I have to say this book was truly addictive! Before reading it, you should pay attention to the blurb. It is a very candid, no holds barred account of Greg’s dating life over the years. Let me just say “wow” because some of them were really out there! Over the course of the book, there are definite times you feel sorry for the women in his life but an equal amount where your heart breaks for him. A couple of gals (one in particular) truly did a number on him. At the end of the day, he’s a romantic at heart who is looking for that “missing piece”—- I hope he finds it and doesn’t “settle.”
October 1, 2018
**5 Enthusiastic Stars** I LOVED this book!
Non-fiction books about relationships aren't normally my genre of choice, but in spite of that, Fifty Shades of Greg will most likely end up as one of my top ten books of the year. It’s honest, it’s funny, it’s intelligently written, it’s emotional, and it’s real. And for me, it was insightful, at times enlightening, and completely engaging—I did NOT want to put it down.
In this book, the author, Greg Archer, gives the reader an uncensored, sincere, often self-deprecating and even more often humorous, account of his encounters and/or relationships with fifty women over a period of seven years in Italy. He doesn’t pull any punches and lets the reader know exactly what he thinks and how he feels about women and their wacky, complex, confusing ways, while denouncing some of his own actions in the process.
I SO wish I had read this book when I was in college. Knowing a man’s thoughts, expectations, and perspective as they’re laid out here could have saved me years of frustration and helped me to better understand how the male mind works in a plethora of dating (and just plain hooking up) situations.
But a warning--this book is often blunt, and in his candor, the author doesn’t always show himself in the best light. However, when you read the introduction (if you’re easily offended or don’t have a quirky sense of humor, please get the sample and read the introduction), you’ll see that he fully warns the reader about this.
Then when you read the book itself, take it for what it is—one guy putting himself out there in a HUGE way and doing so with wit and candor in order to give the reader some insight into what goes on in the mind of a man trying to find companionship, sex, and maybe even love.
I enthusiastically recommend Fifty Shades of Greg, and I really, really hope that there will be more books from Greg Archer in the future!
Non-fiction books about relationships aren't normally my genre of choice, but in spite of that, Fifty Shades of Greg will most likely end up as one of my top ten books of the year. It’s honest, it’s funny, it’s intelligently written, it’s emotional, and it’s real. And for me, it was insightful, at times enlightening, and completely engaging—I did NOT want to put it down.
In this book, the author, Greg Archer, gives the reader an uncensored, sincere, often self-deprecating and even more often humorous, account of his encounters and/or relationships with fifty women over a period of seven years in Italy. He doesn’t pull any punches and lets the reader know exactly what he thinks and how he feels about women and their wacky, complex, confusing ways, while denouncing some of his own actions in the process.
I SO wish I had read this book when I was in college. Knowing a man’s thoughts, expectations, and perspective as they’re laid out here could have saved me years of frustration and helped me to better understand how the male mind works in a plethora of dating (and just plain hooking up) situations.
But a warning--this book is often blunt, and in his candor, the author doesn’t always show himself in the best light. However, when you read the introduction (if you’re easily offended or don’t have a quirky sense of humor, please get the sample and read the introduction), you’ll see that he fully warns the reader about this.
Then when you read the book itself, take it for what it is—one guy putting himself out there in a HUGE way and doing so with wit and candor in order to give the reader some insight into what goes on in the mind of a man trying to find companionship, sex, and maybe even love.
I enthusiastically recommend Fifty Shades of Greg, and I really, really hope that there will be more books from Greg Archer in the future!
September 5, 2018
First things first...
GR is auto-labeling this book as BDSM? GR, are you high?
**Buddy-Read with Robin and the rest of my mermaids**
Well, Greg, I'll give you this, you're honest. AND, that's about all I can say. I didn't hate it, but I didn't love it either. Like others, I walked away feeling just... sad.
Three stars because I'm growing stingy.
**edited to 4 Stars, and that after some thought, I’ll likely read again. But I’m still pissed that I’ll never be able to eat a Kristy Kreme again.
GR is auto-labeling this book as BDSM? GR, are you high?
**Buddy-Read with Robin and the rest of my mermaids**
Well, Greg, I'll give you this, you're honest. AND, that's about all I can say. I didn't hate it, but I didn't love it either. Like others, I walked away feeling just... sad.
Three stars because I'm growing stingy.
**edited to 4 Stars, and that after some thought, I’ll likely read again. But I’m still pissed that I’ll never be able to eat a Kristy Kreme again.
September 3, 2018
A refreshingly honest and often funny take on modern dating...something I’m extremely grateful not to be a part of. In my opinion, Fifty Shades of Greg is just surface sexual encounters written to entertain the reader. I’m sure there’s more to a lot of the experiences with some of the women featured but I don’t believe this was a book meant to dig too deep. I found a part or two down right disturbing but despite that, I think Greg has a heart and it beats to find love. There’s times I liked him, times I didn’t and a lot of the time I just felt bummed out by the emptiness of it all. I felt like he was on a search for more and always came up short. I’ll take it for what it is at face value...a memoir about a guys sexcapades. Was I entertained? Yes, through some definite eye rolls, but entertained nonetheless. This won’t be for everyone but I certainly enjoyed it. #trixie♥️
September 1, 2018
Well this was definitely entertaining. Greg’s a brave dude for putting this out there.
The only thing that truly shocked me about this was the craziness of the Italian women😳😂. Dude should have left town after the 10th encounter! My word!
He’s a dude and most dudes are extremely sexual, promiscuous creatures , until they are truly ready to settle down. Gotta give him props for being brutally honest , although I can see why some women would hate this. I thought it was hilarious for the most part. Some parts were definitely cringeworthy , but you know this going in.
I was sad for him at the end. Hope he finds a love better than J one day. Everyone deserves a “happy ending”😁
The only thing that truly shocked me about this was the craziness of the Italian women😳😂. Dude should have left town after the 10th encounter! My word!
He’s a dude and most dudes are extremely sexual, promiscuous creatures , until they are truly ready to settle down. Gotta give him props for being brutally honest , although I can see why some women would hate this. I thought it was hilarious for the most part. Some parts were definitely cringeworthy , but you know this going in.
I was sad for him at the end. Hope he finds a love better than J one day. Everyone deserves a “happy ending”😁
September 2, 2018
So enjoyable
Greg if you read this I just want to say thank you for a right good laugh and I sincerely hope that you have found happiness again there is someone out there for you. Your sexcapades were hilarious!!
Greg if you read this I just want to say thank you for a right good laugh and I sincerely hope that you have found happiness again there is someone out there for you. Your sexcapades were hilarious!!
September 4, 2018
I think it's an absolute find for any woman out there looking for some serious TRUTH on dating in this day and age.
Interesting, funny, and hard to put down!
Interesting, funny, and hard to put down!
September 10, 2018
This is a book where reviews and the blurb could possibly mislead readers - so I'm going to lay it out there so there are no surprises for future readers who see this. This book is unique and quite entertaining....but make no mistake this is a detailed sex diary.
Greg is a Canadian who moves to Italy for a job, with his girlfriend. Things don't work out with the girlfriend, but Greg starts his documented sexual awakening with the women he meets in various cities in Northern Italy. Every chapter starts with - "plug in girls name" and proceed with.....I met so and so on Tinder, I met up with friends at the bar and saw this girl, Not sure how I met her, she showed up on some kind of dating site and we met up. Each chapter is devoted to a girl he met, dated, hooked up with, slept with, got stalked by, blocked on all social media...some of the above, and all of the above!
It's very explicit, often very funny, and at times kind of over the top crazy! It's definitely addicting in that train wreck kind of way. Throughout his years of dating, Greg comes to many realizations in his sexual appetite, and he will tell you every last little detail about everything! His favorite thing in life is to pleasure a woman. I'm not sure when this guy actually sleeps? because he's always having marathon sex(complete with the required 4 bottles of water bedside) and you are continually reminded how much he needs to be dominate. Those are the main running themes.
This is a memoir - but you don't find out too much about Greg's life. what is his job exactly? not sure something with cars, maybe. Does he have siblings, parents? he never goes into that. friends? the ones from the internet???? hookups - YES. Each one of these girls has their own story, and each one contributes to his journey. This ends up being quite a memoir of dealing with female emotions. Greg's honesty is one of the best things about this book - especially when it relates to the psychology of men and women. Which I always find fascinating! So definitely pick up this book if any of this seems interesting - just don't be shocked at the details!
Greg is a Canadian who moves to Italy for a job, with his girlfriend. Things don't work out with the girlfriend, but Greg starts his documented sexual awakening with the women he meets in various cities in Northern Italy. Every chapter starts with - "plug in girls name" and proceed with.....I met so and so on Tinder, I met up with friends at the bar and saw this girl, Not sure how I met her, she showed up on some kind of dating site and we met up. Each chapter is devoted to a girl he met, dated, hooked up with, slept with, got stalked by, blocked on all social media...some of the above, and all of the above!
It's very explicit, often very funny, and at times kind of over the top crazy! It's definitely addicting in that train wreck kind of way. Throughout his years of dating, Greg comes to many realizations in his sexual appetite, and he will tell you every last little detail about everything! His favorite thing in life is to pleasure a woman. I'm not sure when this guy actually sleeps? because he's always having marathon sex(complete with the required 4 bottles of water bedside) and you are continually reminded how much he needs to be dominate. Those are the main running themes.
This is a memoir - but you don't find out too much about Greg's life. what is his job exactly? not sure something with cars, maybe. Does he have siblings, parents? he never goes into that. friends? the ones from the internet???? hookups - YES. Each one of these girls has their own story, and each one contributes to his journey. This ends up being quite a memoir of dealing with female emotions. Greg's honesty is one of the best things about this book - especially when it relates to the psychology of men and women. Which I always find fascinating! So definitely pick up this book if any of this seems interesting - just don't be shocked at the details!
November 5, 2018
3-5 to 4 stars
On one hand, I was like "suck it up Greg, grow a set, and start making better decisions".
On the other hand, I was like "Poor Greg, women ARE batshit crazy! Maybe he needs to move to the States or some other country.....get out of that rut."
So Greg takes us on a journey of his dating (if you can call it that) escapades. Mind you, he's had one meaningful relationship which hurt him badly, made him jaded, and basically screwed with his heart and head.
I know this wasn't meant to be a romance novel, but I was still hoping for a happy ending for Greg (not that kind of "happy ending" Greg.... get your mind out of the gutter lol). But I understand this was his journey of self discovery and it is amazing the way people treat each other.
The dating world in this day and age is downright scary!
Thanks to Renee for recommending this book. It was a nice change from all the contemporary romance I read.
Good luck Greg!
On one hand, I was like "suck it up Greg, grow a set, and start making better decisions".
On the other hand, I was like "Poor Greg, women ARE batshit crazy! Maybe he needs to move to the States or some other country.....get out of that rut."
So Greg takes us on a journey of his dating (if you can call it that) escapades. Mind you, he's had one meaningful relationship which hurt him badly, made him jaded, and basically screwed with his heart and head.
I know this wasn't meant to be a romance novel, but I was still hoping for a happy ending for Greg (not that kind of "happy ending" Greg.... get your mind out of the gutter lol). But I understand this was his journey of self discovery and it is amazing the way people treat each other.
The dating world in this day and age is downright scary!
Thanks to Renee for recommending this book. It was a nice change from all the contemporary romance I read.
Good luck Greg!
November 10, 2018
Well, if nothing else, this book has made me VERY glad I'm happily married and don't have to participate in the current dating world.
Greg is a Canadian, apparently about 36 or 37 years old, and the experiences he recounts are with women he's met (of all nationalities) while living in Italy. He offers an unvarnished personal account of his own dating adventures-- the good, the bad, and the ugly.
He holds himself accountable for much of the "ugly," so he's reasonably self-aware. The guy has a funny self-deprecating sense of humor that makes his bad behavior seem less objectionable than it is. You can't help but like him, even as you groan (and, yes, laugh) through his descriptions.
Here's a direct quote:
...quite a few people, with the exception of my closest friends, think I’m a player, a pig, a man-whore. Shocking, I know.
But the truth is I would love nothing more than to be blown away and fall madly in love with the person I have in front of me.
But also consider that the rare girl I do fall for has a tendency to stab me in the heart, and twist the knife, repeatedly, while laughing, and asking passers-by if they have any salt. You get the idea.
So sometimes I’m hurting inside and I do shit that’s even more stupid than usual. So yeah, I’m a closet romantic, but I’m also pragmatic: I enjoy meeting people, I enjoy a good date, I enjoy sex. Then there are times when I’m simply on rock bottom and just need the distraction.
Kinda sad. When he's hurting, he's more inclined to just use a girl for sexual release. Most of these girls don't appear to mind since they tend to have a "no strings attached" attitude about sex, too. Yippee for the sexual revolution, I suppose.
There are 50 chapters here, each one detailing Greg's relationship (or lack of one) with the woman whose first name is the chapter heading. (Names were changed to protect anonymity.) While he hasn't slept with all of them, they're the vast majority.
Some of the bedroom details get quite graphic at times, so consider yourself warned. Lots of F-bombs. Some elements of BDSM. (Side note: According to Greg, in the hard core BDSM world, Fifty Shades of Grey rates barely a 2 on a scale of 1 to 10.)
Based on the reactions of Greg's partners and the enjoyment he gets from pleasuring them and making them "squirt," he's apparently a capable lover, so it doesn't appear that the women who reject him do so because of problems in the sack. But he does get together with a lot of wackos. (Hmm...wonder how THEY would describe their experiences with Greg?)
It's hard to know how typical his stories are compared to dating in the USA, but I'm inclined to believe it's similar. From Greg's description, it sounds like a lot of quasi-blind dates and casual sex between lonely people meeting each other through dating sites and in bars, very often spurred to jump in bed together quickly after copious amounts of alcohol. (The alcohol certainly could explain the high number of wackos Greg enounters.) Sometimes the connection he has with a woman goes a bit deeper than lust, but even then it's usually short-lived and/or one-sided.
This book does confirm what my husband has often told me about men and their obsession with sex even when they behave like perfect gentlemen. Greg doesn't always bed these ladies on the first date, but he always WANTS to.
Fifty Shades of Greg is dedicated to Jessica, the one woman who stole his heart and kept it. Jessica is the subject of the last chapter and, once again, I'd love to hear her version of their relationship. She's been rejecting all his attempts to re-connect with her, and he tells us he's bewildered. The lady has run super hot and then will abruptly turn super cold throughout their entire relationship, but he's sure she's the ONE. If his account is accurate, maybe she should be added to the wacko list.
Greg is a Canadian, apparently about 36 or 37 years old, and the experiences he recounts are with women he's met (of all nationalities) while living in Italy. He offers an unvarnished personal account of his own dating adventures-- the good, the bad, and the ugly.
He holds himself accountable for much of the "ugly," so he's reasonably self-aware. The guy has a funny self-deprecating sense of humor that makes his bad behavior seem less objectionable than it is. You can't help but like him, even as you groan (and, yes, laugh) through his descriptions.
Here's a direct quote:
...quite a few people, with the exception of my closest friends, think I’m a player, a pig, a man-whore. Shocking, I know.
But the truth is I would love nothing more than to be blown away and fall madly in love with the person I have in front of me.
But also consider that the rare girl I do fall for has a tendency to stab me in the heart, and twist the knife, repeatedly, while laughing, and asking passers-by if they have any salt. You get the idea.
So sometimes I’m hurting inside and I do shit that’s even more stupid than usual. So yeah, I’m a closet romantic, but I’m also pragmatic: I enjoy meeting people, I enjoy a good date, I enjoy sex. Then there are times when I’m simply on rock bottom and just need the distraction.
Kinda sad. When he's hurting, he's more inclined to just use a girl for sexual release. Most of these girls don't appear to mind since they tend to have a "no strings attached" attitude about sex, too. Yippee for the sexual revolution, I suppose.
There are 50 chapters here, each one detailing Greg's relationship (or lack of one) with the woman whose first name is the chapter heading. (Names were changed to protect anonymity.) While he hasn't slept with all of them, they're the vast majority.
Some of the bedroom details get quite graphic at times, so consider yourself warned. Lots of F-bombs. Some elements of BDSM. (Side note: According to Greg, in the hard core BDSM world, Fifty Shades of Grey rates barely a 2 on a scale of 1 to 10.)
Based on the reactions of Greg's partners and the enjoyment he gets from pleasuring them and making them "squirt," he's apparently a capable lover, so it doesn't appear that the women who reject him do so because of problems in the sack. But he does get together with a lot of wackos. (Hmm...wonder how THEY would describe their experiences with Greg?)
It's hard to know how typical his stories are compared to dating in the USA, but I'm inclined to believe it's similar. From Greg's description, it sounds like a lot of quasi-blind dates and casual sex between lonely people meeting each other through dating sites and in bars, very often spurred to jump in bed together quickly after copious amounts of alcohol. (The alcohol certainly could explain the high number of wackos Greg enounters.) Sometimes the connection he has with a woman goes a bit deeper than lust, but even then it's usually short-lived and/or one-sided.
This book does confirm what my husband has often told me about men and their obsession with sex even when they behave like perfect gentlemen. Greg doesn't always bed these ladies on the first date, but he always WANTS to.
Fifty Shades of Greg is dedicated to Jessica, the one woman who stole his heart and kept it. Jessica is the subject of the last chapter and, once again, I'd love to hear her version of their relationship. She's been rejecting all his attempts to re-connect with her, and he tells us he's bewildered. The lady has run super hot and then will abruptly turn super cold throughout their entire relationship, but he's sure she's the ONE. If his account is accurate, maybe she should be added to the wacko list.
September 4, 2018
I couldn’t put this book down, I loved it!!! There were times I was laughing so hard I was in tears and other times I was getting hot and bothered! This book is a brutally honest look at dating from a man’s p.o.v. Greg doesn’t sugar coat anything, including his own actions. I’ve met some crazies in my day, but poor Greg seems to be extra good and finding them. I will say I think he truly loves women and conveys that fact with the details with which he describes them. If you’re an uptight twat this book isn’t for you but if you have a sense of humor and an open mind about sex and dating you fall in love with this book and with Greg.
September 1, 2018
Greg needs to rest
Mostly entertaining. Downright nasty some of it. I have come to the conclusion Greg was heartbroken from the beginning. I don’t remember the Erika story but he referred to her many times later. I’m guessing Jessica was his true heartbreak. Hopefully someday he will settle his ways and just be content, but that would be another story.
Mostly entertaining. Downright nasty some of it. I have come to the conclusion Greg was heartbroken from the beginning. I don’t remember the Erika story but he referred to her many times later. I’m guessing Jessica was his true heartbreak. Hopefully someday he will settle his ways and just be content, but that would be another story.
September 2, 2018
This book was unlike anything I've ever read. I feel like you have to go in with an open mind in order to really enjoy this book. It's brutally honest, cringy but also hilarious. I laughed so hard throughout the whole thing❤️ I think it's worth your time.
September 9, 2018
It's hard for me to write a review of this book because how does one rate (i.e. judge) how another chooses to live his or her life? To each his own, and this author definitely has had his share of exploits and interesting stories (though the skeptic in me questions the accuracy of some of said encounters.)
The storyline was compelling, much in the same way you can't tear your eyes away from a trainwreck... I had to read it in small doses because I'd reach my quotient of crazy for the day and need a break.
I'd recommend going into this book with an open mind. The blurb accurately describes what you'll get: a guy's perspective on his many dating encounters met (primarily) via Tinder. The author, by his own admission, comes across a douche/dick/arrogant asshole...and I tend to agree (mostly). He offers his own thoughts/opinions about love which, to me, contradict or interrupt the flow of the "story" (super loose term) because he admittedly was being led by his dick most of the time or was bragging about his sexual prowess.
In my opinion, he's not a "bad" guy. At the end of the day, we're all looking for the same thing: connection. And that looks like different things to different people. I hope he finds whatever it is he's looking for, someone who speaks to his soul, someone who ignites his desire BUT I disagree with him about love. Real love is hard. Love is work and sacrifice, and messy and imperfect, but in life, all the good things are.
If you're looking for a break from traditional romance and want a glimpse into a thirty-something's dating life, this could be the book for you. The author does preface the book with a disclaimer of sorts regarding obscene content, but for an avid reader of romance (like myself), I thought the sexual references were standard, even tame, in comparison to some books I've read.
The storyline was compelling, much in the same way you can't tear your eyes away from a trainwreck... I had to read it in small doses because I'd reach my quotient of crazy for the day and need a break.
I'd recommend going into this book with an open mind. The blurb accurately describes what you'll get: a guy's perspective on his many dating encounters met (primarily) via Tinder. The author, by his own admission, comes across a douche/dick/arrogant asshole...and I tend to agree (mostly). He offers his own thoughts/opinions about love which, to me, contradict or interrupt the flow of the "story" (super loose term) because he admittedly was being led by his dick most of the time or was bragging about his sexual prowess.
In my opinion, he's not a "bad" guy. At the end of the day, we're all looking for the same thing: connection. And that looks like different things to different people. I hope he finds whatever it is he's looking for, someone who speaks to his soul, someone who ignites his desire BUT I disagree with him about love. Real love is hard. Love is work and sacrifice, and messy and imperfect, but in life, all the good things are.
If you're looking for a break from traditional romance and want a glimpse into a thirty-something's dating life, this could be the book for you. The author does preface the book with a disclaimer of sorts regarding obscene content, but for an avid reader of romance (like myself), I thought the sexual references were standard, even tame, in comparison to some books I've read.
October 6, 2018
This book was like a conversation. Greg Archer, the author, pulled up a chair, invited you to sit while he told you fascinating and hilarious tales of all of his dating adventures. All I had to do was listen. And laugh. God, did I laugh! He didn't care about putting himself in the best light. In fact, many times he didn't. Much of it was self-deprecating. And honest, admitting things he'd done when he was going through dark periods in his life. When he told those stories and he reflected upon them, he told them with regret and remorse. Which I respected.
While it's easy to sit back and criticize someone for their actions, as I'm sure some would likely do if they read this book, I think it's brave to expose yourself to the world in a no holds barred recounting of some of your less than stellar moments. Greg Archer is man who made mistakes, who had his heart broken, not once, but twice, (we'll get to that in a moment) and a man, who underneath it all, is witty, intelligent, sincere, blunt, and yes, even a romantic. And this book was meant to give insight from a man's perspective from trying to find "the one" to companionship...to friendship....to sex....and all the stuff in between. I personally found it fascinating and I appreciate his candor. Interspersed throughout his narration were his personal thoughts, little hard truths, little nuggets of wisdom, and I found myself agreeing with him much of the time. People often don't like to hear the truth. It's often cold and unyielding. But I appreciate a person more when they just give it to me straight. Tell it like it is or don't bother. You don't have to be crass, but a dose of reality never hurt anyone. And this book is definitely that. A dose of reality and okay a little a bit crass. lol.
I wasn't sure what to expect when I first opened the book. It's not a novel. It's more like a journal of stories, dates and relationships the author takes us through over a period of years in his time in Italy. Most of the women he encountered are bat-shit crazy. I mean CRA-ZY. At one point I even took a screenshot of a scene of one of his tragic dates and messaged my friend with a 'crying-laughing' emoji. Oy! I hadn't laughed so hard in a long time.
Then when we got to the Erika portion of the book...this part made me sad. And a little bit angry on his behalf. Truly. What she did at the end of their relationship was utterly cruel. I wanted to punch her in the throat. Who does that? And there was something he said that made me feel for this guy even more. She was sitting at the table texting her boyfriend, smiling, laughing, right in front of him while his heart was breaking, and he smiled because she was happy and that was all he wanted...for her to be happy. I tucked that away because that was worth remembering. It took a long time for him to get over her. So for all the stuff that happened after, I always came back to that. I'm still reflecting on it.
And then Jessica happened. At the beginning of the book there is a note to Jessica. It's short and brief. By the time we reach the end, we realize she's the one that left the biggest scar. I had hoped for a different ending, that Greg had found 'the one'. He thought he had to be sure. Turns out, she broke him in ways that I wouldn't wish on anyone. I hope he gets over her. He deserves better.
So anyway, I appreciate the author taking us on this journey. He certainly didn't have to. He opened himself up to an array of criticism. I thought many of his insights were thoughtful. Some were crude. Some were downright filthy. But take it for what it is. A man putting himself out there...the good, the bad, and the ugly. And yes, Greg, I did catch a glimpse of the man on the other side.
While it's easy to sit back and criticize someone for their actions, as I'm sure some would likely do if they read this book, I think it's brave to expose yourself to the world in a no holds barred recounting of some of your less than stellar moments. Greg Archer is man who made mistakes, who had his heart broken, not once, but twice, (we'll get to that in a moment) and a man, who underneath it all, is witty, intelligent, sincere, blunt, and yes, even a romantic. And this book was meant to give insight from a man's perspective from trying to find "the one" to companionship...to friendship....to sex....and all the stuff in between. I personally found it fascinating and I appreciate his candor. Interspersed throughout his narration were his personal thoughts, little hard truths, little nuggets of wisdom, and I found myself agreeing with him much of the time. People often don't like to hear the truth. It's often cold and unyielding. But I appreciate a person more when they just give it to me straight. Tell it like it is or don't bother. You don't have to be crass, but a dose of reality never hurt anyone. And this book is definitely that. A dose of reality and okay a little a bit crass. lol.
I wasn't sure what to expect when I first opened the book. It's not a novel. It's more like a journal of stories, dates and relationships the author takes us through over a period of years in his time in Italy. Most of the women he encountered are bat-shit crazy. I mean CRA-ZY. At one point I even took a screenshot of a scene of one of his tragic dates and messaged my friend with a 'crying-laughing' emoji. Oy! I hadn't laughed so hard in a long time.
Then when we got to the Erika portion of the book...this part made me sad. And a little bit angry on his behalf. Truly. What she did at the end of their relationship was utterly cruel. I wanted to punch her in the throat. Who does that? And there was something he said that made me feel for this guy even more. She was sitting at the table texting her boyfriend, smiling, laughing, right in front of him while his heart was breaking, and he smiled because she was happy and that was all he wanted...for her to be happy. I tucked that away because that was worth remembering. It took a long time for him to get over her. So for all the stuff that happened after, I always came back to that. I'm still reflecting on it.
And then Jessica happened. At the beginning of the book there is a note to Jessica. It's short and brief. By the time we reach the end, we realize she's the one that left the biggest scar. I had hoped for a different ending, that Greg had found 'the one'. He thought he had to be sure. Turns out, she broke him in ways that I wouldn't wish on anyone. I hope he gets over her. He deserves better.
So anyway, I appreciate the author taking us on this journey. He certainly didn't have to. He opened himself up to an array of criticism. I thought many of his insights were thoughtful. Some were crude. Some were downright filthy. But take it for what it is. A man putting himself out there...the good, the bad, and the ugly. And yes, Greg, I did catch a glimpse of the man on the other side.
October 8, 2018
You go greg!
What an amazing book! This book made me feel angry, happy and sad a bunch of times! I had yet to experience that in a book, and it was incredible. He really opened up to us and I am so glad he did. i don't know how anyone could not love this book. Hard to put down!
What an amazing book! This book made me feel angry, happy and sad a bunch of times! I had yet to experience that in a book, and it was incredible. He really opened up to us and I am so glad he did. i don't know how anyone could not love this book. Hard to put down!
September 10, 2018
I just loved everything about this book!
Its the kind of writing I love anyway, but seeing the dating world from a mans eyes was ace!
Whether you read this for what it is a brutally honest males account of dating or read it more as a story I don't think you can go wrong.
Yes you need to be open minded, prepared for swear words and some graphic sex scenes, but for me there was nothing to complain about.
It was refreshing to read, and I could barely put it down! Just gutted its finished would love to read more!
Its the kind of writing I love anyway, but seeing the dating world from a mans eyes was ace!
Whether you read this for what it is a brutally honest males account of dating or read it more as a story I don't think you can go wrong.
Yes you need to be open minded, prepared for swear words and some graphic sex scenes, but for me there was nothing to complain about.
It was refreshing to read, and I could barely put it down! Just gutted its finished would love to read more!
January 17, 2019
Fabulous
I don't think I've ever enjoyed a book so much. I had fun reading it, it's charming, witty, gritty, and sexy. (I may be crushing on Greg a bit). If you are uptight, squeamish, or lacking a sense of humor then this book is not for you. Also, thanks for the handy tips Greg ;-)
I don't think I've ever enjoyed a book so much. I had fun reading it, it's charming, witty, gritty, and sexy. (I may be crushing on Greg a bit). If you are uptight, squeamish, or lacking a sense of humor then this book is not for you. Also, thanks for the handy tips Greg ;-)
January 17, 2019
I don't think I've ever enjoyed a book so much. I had fun reading it, its charming, witty, gritty, and sexy. (I may be crushing on Greg a bit). If you are uptight, squeamish, or lacking a sense of humor then this book is not for you. Also, thanks for the handy tips Greg ;-)
September 24, 2018
I saw this come across my timeline and thought why not, might be interesting. I consider myself open-minded and a lot of the times think like a man (lol) so it might be a fun read.
It was. The dating stories Greg went through had me turning the pages. Some were funny, most had me thinking "what in the actual f*ck" and all made me glad I am not dating. But seriously, are there really these types of crazy women out there? I cannot imagine me or any of my friends doing those things. Nor have any of my bachelor male friends told me these types of crazy stories. Either way, it made for an entertaining time reading.
I was expecting a little more insight into what the male brain thought. Yes, we get a lot of insight about his sexual adventures. I have no doubt about what he thinks about sex. But not enough of other thought and feelings. For example, there's this really crazy chic and Greg shows us actual texts between them. I get that he thinks she's batshit crazy (which she is) but I would've liked to get more of his thoughts on it instead of just the texts. Not sure what exactly I wanted, just more.
I liked the writing style. I'm usually a little picky about grammar, but it didn't bother me here. Mostly because it felt like I was having a conversation with someone at a bar while having some drinks. It's how my friends and I would talk while sharing stories. It was refreshing not really noticing the grammar. What did bother me though, was the format. That sometimes drove me crazy.
Overall, enjoyed the book. Left me feeling a little sad for Greg. I hope he realizes he deserves better than Jessica (was not a fan of hers at all). And I hope he finds real love (and stays away from tinder, lol).
It was. The dating stories Greg went through had me turning the pages. Some were funny, most had me thinking "what in the actual f*ck" and all made me glad I am not dating. But seriously, are there really these types of crazy women out there? I cannot imagine me or any of my friends doing those things. Nor have any of my bachelor male friends told me these types of crazy stories. Either way, it made for an entertaining time reading.
I was expecting a little more insight into what the male brain thought. Yes, we get a lot of insight about his sexual adventures. I have no doubt about what he thinks about sex. But not enough of other thought and feelings. For example, there's this really crazy chic and Greg shows us actual texts between them. I get that he thinks she's batshit crazy (which she is) but I would've liked to get more of his thoughts on it instead of just the texts. Not sure what exactly I wanted, just more.
I liked the writing style. I'm usually a little picky about grammar, but it didn't bother me here. Mostly because it felt like I was having a conversation with someone at a bar while having some drinks. It's how my friends and I would talk while sharing stories. It was refreshing not really noticing the grammar. What did bother me though, was the format. That sometimes drove me crazy.
Overall, enjoyed the book. Left me feeling a little sad for Greg. I hope he realizes he deserves better than Jessica (was not a fan of hers at all). And I hope he finds real love (and stays away from tinder, lol).
July 23, 2019
Seriously, the jury is still out on this book! No doubt, as everyone says, it's brutally honest and a really good eye-opener for women that are out there dating. Here is your insight into a man's brain or both of their brains... A double-edged sword, this is a kiss and tell, which totally rubs me the wrong way and subtly written in between the lines Greg plugs himself, like, a lot (Tinder Ad?)! Ie: How big his penis is, etc. I just kept rolling my eyes. This is written well enough that this is easy to miss so you may not even notice. I have some issues with his summation of Italian women and I cannot help but wonder if he were in the US, he'd be in jail. Lastly, and the reason I think I have all this criticism is that in the very beginning Greg has the audacity to tell us how to and how not to review his book. Well, Greg, you can kiss my...
What can I say that's good... It's well written. His grammar and spelling are way better than mine. He is honest and raw, which I appreciate. Oddly, all my criticism, I think a ton of people will love, love, love this book! There are many places that made me crack up and other places that had me reaching for my hand-fan and a few that had me lamenting with Greg and needing a hug. It really covers the gamut of the human dating cycle. The ups, the downs, the crazies, and the heartfelts.
What can I say that's good... It's well written. His grammar and spelling are way better than mine. He is honest and raw, which I appreciate. Oddly, all my criticism, I think a ton of people will love, love, love this book! There are many places that made me crack up and other places that had me reaching for my hand-fan and a few that had me lamenting with Greg and needing a hug. It really covers the gamut of the human dating cycle. The ups, the downs, the crazies, and the heartfelts.
September 30, 2018
Hmmm, where to begin with this one? This book was not as good as I hoped it would be. It was not as shocking or offensive as it claimed it would be in the blurb. I actually wish it was more crude and depraved than it actually was. I’ve honestly heard worse from my male friends so this book was actually a disappointment. I found the book to be a bit boring and it took me forever to get through. It felt repetitive and honestly I felt the same story could’ve been told with less women and expanding it into more of an actual story versus the casual, like I was reading ones journal, manner in which it was told. I did get through the whole thing without really skimming, and the intent of the book was cool, but the execution and lack of reeling me in resulted in a 2.5 star read.
October 23, 2018
Well where to start? I would give this book more than 5 stars if I could.
I don’t think I’ve laughed this much reading a book in a very long time I absolutely loved it. I find it really easy to read. It was flowing trough out the book. I also found it very addictive 🙈Burnt tea twice in a row over reading this I just couldn’t put it down at all.
I don’t have a negative word to say about it.
I highly recommend giving this book a go.
I don’t think I’ve laughed this much reading a book in a very long time I absolutely loved it. I find it really easy to read. It was flowing trough out the book. I also found it very addictive 🙈Burnt tea twice in a row over reading this I just couldn’t put it down at all.
I don’t have a negative word to say about it.
I highly recommend giving this book a go.
January 31, 2019
To be fair I didn’t finish this book so much as give up a third of the way through so I’m torn on how to rate it. I liked the title and the concept, but not the execution. I loved the I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell books and was expecting something similar. My fault for going in with preconceived notions.
September 16, 2018
Just not the book for me.
February 4, 2019
Hilarious train wreck of a dude.
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