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Emily Maxwell #0.5
Henry, Himself
A member of the greatest generation looks back on the loves and losses of his past and comes to treasure the present anew in this poignant and thoughtful new novel from a modern master
Stewart O’Nan is renowned for illuminating the unexpected grace of everyday life and the resilience of ordinary people with humor, intelligence, and compassion. In this prequel to the beloved Emily, Alone, he offers an unsentimental, moving life story of a twentieth-century everyman.
Soldier, son, lover, husband, breadwinner, churchgoer, Henry Maxwell has spent his whole life trying to live with honor. A native Pittsburgher and engineer, he’s always believed in logic, sacrifice, and hard work. Now, seventy-five and retired, he feels the world has passed him by. It’s 1998, the American century is ending, and nothing is simple anymore. His children are distant, their unhappiness a mystery. Only his wife Emily and dog Rufus stand by him. Once so confident, as Henry’s strength and memory desert him, he weighs his dreams against his regrets and is left with questions he can’t answer: Is he a good man? Has he done right by the people he loves? And with time running out, what, realistically, can he hope for?
Like Emily, Alone, Henry, Himself is a wry, warmhearted portrait of an American original who believes he’s reached a dead end only to discover life is full of surprises.
Stewart O’Nan is renowned for illuminating the unexpected grace of everyday life and the resilience of ordinary people with humor, intelligence, and compassion. In this prequel to the beloved Emily, Alone, he offers an unsentimental, moving life story of a twentieth-century everyman.
Soldier, son, lover, husband, breadwinner, churchgoer, Henry Maxwell has spent his whole life trying to live with honor. A native Pittsburgher and engineer, he’s always believed in logic, sacrifice, and hard work. Now, seventy-five and retired, he feels the world has passed him by. It’s 1998, the American century is ending, and nothing is simple anymore. His children are distant, their unhappiness a mystery. Only his wife Emily and dog Rufus stand by him. Once so confident, as Henry’s strength and memory desert him, he weighs his dreams against his regrets and is left with questions he can’t answer: Is he a good man? Has he done right by the people he loves? And with time running out, what, realistically, can he hope for?
Like Emily, Alone, Henry, Himself is a wry, warmhearted portrait of an American original who believes he’s reached a dead end only to discover life is full of surprises.
384 pages, Hardcover
First published April 9, 2019
260 people are currently reading
4600 people want to read
About the author
Stewart O'Nan
82 books1,353 followersStewart O'Nan is the author of eighteen novels, including Emily, Alone; Last Night at the Lobster; A Prayer for the Dying; Snow Angels; and the forthcoming Ocean State, due out from Grove/Atlantic on March 8th, 2022.
With Stephen King, I’ve also co-written Faithful, a nonfiction account of the 2004 Boston Red Sox, and the e-story “A Face in the Crowd.”
You can catch me at stewart-onan.com, on Twitter @stewartonan and on Facebook @stewartONanAuthor
With Stephen King, I’ve also co-written Faithful, a nonfiction account of the 2004 Boston Red Sox, and the e-story “A Face in the Crowd.”
You can catch me at stewart-onan.com, on Twitter @stewartonan and on Facebook @stewartONanAuthor
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 561 reviews
May 9, 2019
If you’re looking for a story that will make your heart beat fast, or if you are looking for action or suspense, this book is probably not for you. What you’ll find here is a wonderful character study of Henry Maxwell who has lived a life so ordinary that it could be so many of our lives. I think that’s what made it so real and relatable, probably more so if you are close in age to Henry. The novel is comprised of short chapters, events in Henry’s life from his present as a man in his seventies, retired and confronting his age and mortality, pondering his life today as well as his past, portraits of a life, an ordinary life, relatable to those of us who live that ordinary life with its ups and downs, tough moments, sad moments, joyful moments.
The moments are varied from at the age of ten and falling in love for the first time with his piano teacher to dealing with problems of his grown children, worrying about them. There are touching moments between him and his wife Emily. I love that they are so used to each other and know each other so well, but I especially loved the special things they still do for each other - gifts and dinner on Valentine’s Day and celebrating Mother’s Day and Father’s Day for each other when their kids don’t make it there. There were definitely some things that reminded me of my husband and I. Relying on each other, he more on Emily when he can’t think of the name of that “tough cookie” actress. Omg - that is so like my husband and I , but now we have Alexa to ask when neither of us can think of it ! And trying to get Emily to clear out the attic for a rummage sale. Oh, we have many conversations about the basement and especially the garage clutter. Henry’s a family man and I enjoyed the sweet moments with his grandchildren when the family spent vacations at their cottage. There were times when I felt some of the chapters a little too mundane and maybe a little too detailed, but the rest more than made up for it. This is a prequel to Wish You Were Here and Emily, Alone . I am definitely adding them to my list.
I received an advanced copy of this book from Penguin through Edelweiss.
April 26, 2019
3.5 My goodness Henry, you quietly but steadily worked your way into my heart. Granted, it wasn't love at first read, but you got there in the end. I know now that you are in your middles seventies and retired, you sometimes feel useless, at odds with yourself. Questioning whether you lived your life to the fullest, made the most of what you had. You do though, have time now to putter, and that is something you enjoy. I for one consider the love you have for your wife to be inspiring. I was so impressed when on Valentine's Day you still wanted her to have a romantic night out. It is also wonderful the love you have for your children, your grandchildren. The way you help whoever needs it, even if they are not your favorite people.ni enjoyed learning of your past from your private musings. As part of the greatest generation you could be considered old school, but I found you to be full of integrity, honesty and hard-working, not always searching for easy money, or a free lunch. It took awhile but ultimately it was a pleasure to meet you and let me reassure you, that while you may not have made great waves, the ripples you did make were appreciated.
A long read, s very character driven story of the sort this author is a master of, well rounded, full bodied characters. I was reminded of a scene from Seinfeld, where Jerry and George were pitching in idea for a television show to some Network bigwigs. When asked what there show was about, George answered, Nothing, it is about nothing." He meant of course, that it was about life, just life, as is this book. Henry is truly Everyman, the man who diligently lives his life, but makes no noticeable splashes. I actually came back and upped my rating, something I don't usually do, but I couldn't get Henry out of my mind.
ARC from Edelweiss.
A long read, s very character driven story of the sort this author is a master of, well rounded, full bodied characters. I was reminded of a scene from Seinfeld, where Jerry and George were pitching in idea for a television show to some Network bigwigs. When asked what there show was about, George answered, Nothing, it is about nothing." He meant of course, that it was about life, just life, as is this book. Henry is truly Everyman, the man who diligently lives his life, but makes no noticeable splashes. I actually came back and upped my rating, something I don't usually do, but I couldn't get Henry out of my mind.
ARC from Edelweiss.
December 30, 2019
4.5 stars
Simply said and simply beautiful. With spare prose, this lovely book has much to say about the ordinary. I’m a huge fan of the author and Emily, Alone was a favorite when I read it back in 2012. No one can write about the ordinary in such an extraordinary way as Stewart O’Nan.
This is the prequel to Emily, Alone. Henry is 75, and married to Emily. I was touched at the quiet, deep love he still has for his wife.
As Henry and Emily go about the rhythm of their days and the seasons, we are privy to his thoughts and musings. He muses about his childhood, his time in the service during WWII, meeting and falling in love with his wife, his children, the past, and his hopes for the future. He reflects on his life and the meaning of it all.
Not everything in Henry’s life turned out the way he’d hoped. The reality of Henry’s age and mortality hovers over it all. He sees his cohorts dying, and knows he has fewer days in front of him than behind him. This is a quiet introspective novel, one where nothing much happens on the surface. It’s a poignant look at an average elderly man looking back over his life and coming to terms with it, eventually accepting what can’t be changed, and enjoying the life he has left. He is a good man, an unsung hero.
The only thing that kept this book from 5 stars is there were parts that I thought were too slow and detailed, such as the golf game. But overall, I loved this story for its quiet simplicity, and for Henry who grew on me as the novel progressed.
As an aside: I often laughed in recognition at some of the conversations he and Emily had. Did the author eavesdrop on conversations between my husband and myself? I read the part about the dog pee spots on the lawn aloud to my husband and we had a good laugh. The author nailed it 100% from my response to my husband’s solution. Haha....men and their lawns.
Marialyce and I buddy read this together. We both enjoyed it, me more than her. For a balanced look, read both our reviews. For our duo review of this book, and others, please visit Marialyce’s blog at https://yayareadslotsofbooks.wordpres...
*Many thanks to Edelweiss, the author, and Viking for a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.
Simply said and simply beautiful. With spare prose, this lovely book has much to say about the ordinary. I’m a huge fan of the author and Emily, Alone was a favorite when I read it back in 2012. No one can write about the ordinary in such an extraordinary way as Stewart O’Nan.
This is the prequel to Emily, Alone. Henry is 75, and married to Emily. I was touched at the quiet, deep love he still has for his wife.
As Henry and Emily go about the rhythm of their days and the seasons, we are privy to his thoughts and musings. He muses about his childhood, his time in the service during WWII, meeting and falling in love with his wife, his children, the past, and his hopes for the future. He reflects on his life and the meaning of it all.
Not everything in Henry’s life turned out the way he’d hoped. The reality of Henry’s age and mortality hovers over it all. He sees his cohorts dying, and knows he has fewer days in front of him than behind him. This is a quiet introspective novel, one where nothing much happens on the surface. It’s a poignant look at an average elderly man looking back over his life and coming to terms with it, eventually accepting what can’t be changed, and enjoying the life he has left. He is a good man, an unsung hero.
The only thing that kept this book from 5 stars is there were parts that I thought were too slow and detailed, such as the golf game. But overall, I loved this story for its quiet simplicity, and for Henry who grew on me as the novel progressed.
As an aside: I often laughed in recognition at some of the conversations he and Emily had. Did the author eavesdrop on conversations between my husband and myself? I read the part about the dog pee spots on the lawn aloud to my husband and we had a good laugh. The author nailed it 100% from my response to my husband’s solution. Haha....men and their lawns.
Marialyce and I buddy read this together. We both enjoyed it, me more than her. For a balanced look, read both our reviews. For our duo review of this book, and others, please visit Marialyce’s blog at https://yayareadslotsofbooks.wordpres...
*Many thanks to Edelweiss, the author, and Viking for a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.
April 13, 2019
3.5 Stars
Thank you to Viking / Penguin Publishing Group who provided an advance reader copy via Edelweiss.
This is a quiet, plodding account of a retired 75 year old Pittsburgh native. During his life Henry Maxwell's been an altar boy, military veteran, engineer, husband, father and grandfather. Though retired, Henry fills up his day with seemingly endless household projects (he's very handy), volunteering at church, shopping, walking the dog, playing golf, and enjoying the occasional adult beverage. Most of all, he utterly adores his wife of almost 50 years, Emily. Like Henry, she is very organized, makes lists, and keeps to routines and traditions. During this book we follow almost a year in the life of this lovely couple.
Henry Maxwell looks around and sees a lot of changes in the city he grew up in. When his children and grandchildren have breaks, they all repair to an old inherited family vacation home near a lake. Upon arrival, all the family members are given a cleaning chore to spiff up the house that has been closed up for months. Like most families, there are problems with certain members and conflicts with different personalities. For the most part, Henry likes to stay out of the fray while his wife Emily visits the sick or gets on the phone.
Reading about the holidays was a favorite part of the book. Henry and Emily are beholden to traditions with food preparation, gift-giving and decoration, and every mundane step was recounted to charming effect. The part I particularly connected with was the stress of worrying about company arriving, but the resultant happiness and warmth following all the work.
Most of all, the truth that ripples throughout this book is the reality of Henry's age and coming to grips with his mortality. Henry frets about his occasional memory losses, trips to the bathroom during the night, and is stunned when his physician passes away- someone he went to school with. This is a quiet story about a very good man at the twilight of his life who has lived a good life.
On a final note, apparently this book is a prequel to two other successful novels involving Henry's wife Emily Maxwell once she is a widow, "Emily, Alone" and "Wish You Were Here". Readers who enjoy the works of author Anne Tyler, who writes stories about everyday people doing normal things...would probably enjoy this. This likely won't "wow" you, but is a pleasant read.
Thank you to Viking / Penguin Publishing Group who provided an advance reader copy via Edelweiss.
This is a quiet, plodding account of a retired 75 year old Pittsburgh native. During his life Henry Maxwell's been an altar boy, military veteran, engineer, husband, father and grandfather. Though retired, Henry fills up his day with seemingly endless household projects (he's very handy), volunteering at church, shopping, walking the dog, playing golf, and enjoying the occasional adult beverage. Most of all, he utterly adores his wife of almost 50 years, Emily. Like Henry, she is very organized, makes lists, and keeps to routines and traditions. During this book we follow almost a year in the life of this lovely couple.
Henry Maxwell looks around and sees a lot of changes in the city he grew up in. When his children and grandchildren have breaks, they all repair to an old inherited family vacation home near a lake. Upon arrival, all the family members are given a cleaning chore to spiff up the house that has been closed up for months. Like most families, there are problems with certain members and conflicts with different personalities. For the most part, Henry likes to stay out of the fray while his wife Emily visits the sick or gets on the phone.
Reading about the holidays was a favorite part of the book. Henry and Emily are beholden to traditions with food preparation, gift-giving and decoration, and every mundane step was recounted to charming effect. The part I particularly connected with was the stress of worrying about company arriving, but the resultant happiness and warmth following all the work.
Most of all, the truth that ripples throughout this book is the reality of Henry's age and coming to grips with his mortality. Henry frets about his occasional memory losses, trips to the bathroom during the night, and is stunned when his physician passes away- someone he went to school with. This is a quiet story about a very good man at the twilight of his life who has lived a good life.
On a final note, apparently this book is a prequel to two other successful novels involving Henry's wife Emily Maxwell once she is a widow, "Emily, Alone" and "Wish You Were Here". Readers who enjoy the works of author Anne Tyler, who writes stories about everyday people doing normal things...would probably enjoy this. This likely won't "wow" you, but is a pleasant read.
April 7, 2019
In Stewart O'Nan's novels, 'Wish You Were Here' and 'Emily, Alone', readers were introduced to the Maxwell family; that is, the Maxwell family minus one member.... the patriarch, Henry, who had recently passed away. In his new novel, 'Henry, Himself', Stewart O'Nan moves backward in time to the last years of the 20th century. Henry was alive and anticipating his 75th birthday and also his 49th wedding anniversary with his wife, Emily. In 'Wish You Were Here' and 'Emily, Alone', although the emphasis was on the remaining members of the Maxwell family, there was always a sense that henry's ghostly presence was hovering. In 'Henry, Himself', Henry finally has the opportunity to speak for himself.. to relate what he thinks and how he feels about his life.
This novel is a quiet one because like so many men of his generation, Henry is a quiet man. A lifelong Pittsburgher, Henry has prided himself on being solid and dependable. He fought in World War II, received his engineering degree from the University of Pittsburgh and spent his entire career working for Westinghouse electric Company. He married Emily and they had two children, Margaret and Kenny and he felt it was his most solemn duty to take care of his family's needs. He attended the Presbyterian church every Sunday and every summer, he packed up his family and took them to Chataqua Lake in western New York, where they spent their vacations at the family's lake house. But in the years since his retirement and perhaps partially because he was approaching his 75th birthday, henry had begun to question all the things he thought and believed about himself and the world around him.
Although Henry is retired, he remains detail-oriented and adheres to a schedule he has set for himself for each day... taking the family dog for walks, working on projects around the family home and getting together with friends to play golf. But Henry can't rid himself of the nagging feeling that his life has no purpose. So often Henry feels bewildered and dismayed. He doesn't recognize his Pittsburgh neighborhood these days. He thinks about Halloween and how he doesn't recognize any of the parents or children who come to his door and he laments the teenagers who don't even make the effort to don a costume but instead show up with pillowcases and greedily grab handfuls of candy. His neighborhood has also been plagued by drive-by-shootings and he is frightened to think about Emily attempting to even go to the neighborhood grocery store... so they drive to a grocery store in a nearby town instead. He spends more and more time thinking about and remembering his neighborhood of the past, when he knew everyone on the block. When had it changed?
Henry has also been trying to come to terms with the reality that his body had begun failing him. He took prescription drugs for so many ailments... high blood pressure, high cholesterol and even a pill to help him sleep. And on top of all of this, he has also begun suffering the indignity of losing track of his thoughts... often walking into a room and not remembering why he was there. And of course, there were his feelings of guilt over what had been happening in his children's lives. His daughter, Margaret, had been addicted to drugs, had battled alcoholism and now her marriage seemed to be in peril. His son, Kenny and his family had moved to New England and although they all tried to get together at holidays, Henry couldn't ignore the fact that they weren't close. He couldn't help but ask himself if his children's difficulties weren't in some way his and Emily's fault. Had he spent too much time at work while they were growing up? How could he possibly feel he had been a good father when his interactions with his children... and even grandchildren... often felt so awkward... long silences which they couldn't seem to fill with anything but polite conversation?
This novel isn't filled with action or adventure but it IS a simple and poignant story of the daily life and routines of an average older man.. a good man.. who is struggling with how he should view his past and what the future might provide. I was drawn to the depth of character that Henry possessed. I understood how the past can, at times, seem so much more vibrant and real than the reality of your mundane daily existence. I also sensed that it wasn't really nostalgia for the past that Henry was feeling but rather that feeling of the endless possibilities for life and the future which can only be experienced so fully by the young. I was drawn into Henry's story and his introspection about his life became my OWN introspection as well. Perhaps it is the stage of life that I find myself in in my own life but Henry's doubts and questions seemed important and profound.. though large and perhaps unanswerable. What is one to do when what you always believed about yourself and what sort of person you have been suddenly doesn't seem quite accurate? And what can you do to hold onto hope... to have something to look forward to in the life that remains for you?
What Henry discovered might seem simplistic and yet it is probably a difficult thing to achieve. He found that, for him, he needed to spend more time living not in the past but in the current moment.He found that when he stopped fretting and obsessing about the way the world had changed and all of the things he couldn't control... his children's happiness and whether or not Emily would be able to handle the details of her daily life once he was gone... he could actually feel, maybe not happiness exactly... but contentment... that often fleeting feeling that all is right with the world and you wouldn't change anything.
As many of my Goodreads friends know, I am a HUGE fan of Stewart O'Nan's writing. he has the extraordinary ability to find the beauty and a sense of magic in ordinary people's ordinary lives. I loved this novel not only for that reason but because it truly felt like a 'Pittsburgh' novel. The book was liberally sprinkled with references to Pittsburgh neighborhoods, landmarks and sports teams and since I have lived in this area for much of my life, I thoroughly enjoyed the references.
Many thanks to Viking for providing me with an ARC of this novel, which will be published April9, 2019!
This novel is a quiet one because like so many men of his generation, Henry is a quiet man. A lifelong Pittsburgher, Henry has prided himself on being solid and dependable. He fought in World War II, received his engineering degree from the University of Pittsburgh and spent his entire career working for Westinghouse electric Company. He married Emily and they had two children, Margaret and Kenny and he felt it was his most solemn duty to take care of his family's needs. He attended the Presbyterian church every Sunday and every summer, he packed up his family and took them to Chataqua Lake in western New York, where they spent their vacations at the family's lake house. But in the years since his retirement and perhaps partially because he was approaching his 75th birthday, henry had begun to question all the things he thought and believed about himself and the world around him.
Although Henry is retired, he remains detail-oriented and adheres to a schedule he has set for himself for each day... taking the family dog for walks, working on projects around the family home and getting together with friends to play golf. But Henry can't rid himself of the nagging feeling that his life has no purpose. So often Henry feels bewildered and dismayed. He doesn't recognize his Pittsburgh neighborhood these days. He thinks about Halloween and how he doesn't recognize any of the parents or children who come to his door and he laments the teenagers who don't even make the effort to don a costume but instead show up with pillowcases and greedily grab handfuls of candy. His neighborhood has also been plagued by drive-by-shootings and he is frightened to think about Emily attempting to even go to the neighborhood grocery store... so they drive to a grocery store in a nearby town instead. He spends more and more time thinking about and remembering his neighborhood of the past, when he knew everyone on the block. When had it changed?
Henry has also been trying to come to terms with the reality that his body had begun failing him. He took prescription drugs for so many ailments... high blood pressure, high cholesterol and even a pill to help him sleep. And on top of all of this, he has also begun suffering the indignity of losing track of his thoughts... often walking into a room and not remembering why he was there. And of course, there were his feelings of guilt over what had been happening in his children's lives. His daughter, Margaret, had been addicted to drugs, had battled alcoholism and now her marriage seemed to be in peril. His son, Kenny and his family had moved to New England and although they all tried to get together at holidays, Henry couldn't ignore the fact that they weren't close. He couldn't help but ask himself if his children's difficulties weren't in some way his and Emily's fault. Had he spent too much time at work while they were growing up? How could he possibly feel he had been a good father when his interactions with his children... and even grandchildren... often felt so awkward... long silences which they couldn't seem to fill with anything but polite conversation?
This novel isn't filled with action or adventure but it IS a simple and poignant story of the daily life and routines of an average older man.. a good man.. who is struggling with how he should view his past and what the future might provide. I was drawn to the depth of character that Henry possessed. I understood how the past can, at times, seem so much more vibrant and real than the reality of your mundane daily existence. I also sensed that it wasn't really nostalgia for the past that Henry was feeling but rather that feeling of the endless possibilities for life and the future which can only be experienced so fully by the young. I was drawn into Henry's story and his introspection about his life became my OWN introspection as well. Perhaps it is the stage of life that I find myself in in my own life but Henry's doubts and questions seemed important and profound.. though large and perhaps unanswerable. What is one to do when what you always believed about yourself and what sort of person you have been suddenly doesn't seem quite accurate? And what can you do to hold onto hope... to have something to look forward to in the life that remains for you?
What Henry discovered might seem simplistic and yet it is probably a difficult thing to achieve. He found that, for him, he needed to spend more time living not in the past but in the current moment.He found that when he stopped fretting and obsessing about the way the world had changed and all of the things he couldn't control... his children's happiness and whether or not Emily would be able to handle the details of her daily life once he was gone... he could actually feel, maybe not happiness exactly... but contentment... that often fleeting feeling that all is right with the world and you wouldn't change anything.
As many of my Goodreads friends know, I am a HUGE fan of Stewart O'Nan's writing. he has the extraordinary ability to find the beauty and a sense of magic in ordinary people's ordinary lives. I loved this novel not only for that reason but because it truly felt like a 'Pittsburgh' novel. The book was liberally sprinkled with references to Pittsburgh neighborhoods, landmarks and sports teams and since I have lived in this area for much of my life, I thoroughly enjoyed the references.
Many thanks to Viking for providing me with an ARC of this novel, which will be published April9, 2019!
May 6, 2019
3.5 stars
For Henry Maxwell, time has passed and now into his seventy-fifth year, he reflects back on the life he has lead. He finds himself thinking about what he was and is, a husband to Emily, a father Margaret and Kenny, and a grandfather, and as he looks to his life, a life filled with traditions, he wonders has he been a good man, a good husband, a good father? As in any family, there has been trials. His daughter Margaret is a recovering addict addicted to drugs and alcohol facing a marriage that seems to be falling apart, while his son Kenny, seems to maintain a distance that Henry sees as his fault as a parent. Even his wife Emily seems at times to be his only constant along with Rufus his beloved dog, but Emily too, seems to be distant.
This is a look back on life and a wondering if. It's something all of us do as we age, we often think if only I had done this or that differently, maybe things would be better not only for me but the people I love.
While I did enjoy the story, I found myself not totally engaged with the whole book. I tended to lose a bit of interest as the author seemed to concentrate somewhat on the game of golf which in all honesty, I know nothing about. Honestly, there was also some skimming going on as well.
This was an introspective book, one that takes a deep look into characters and their actions, and tries to make the reader understand that we are all tied to the things we have done. Our good decisions and mostly our bad ones, seemed to plague our minds and certainly they do with Henry as he wonders where did I possibly go wrong? It is something all of us wonder at various times of our lives. As an aside, I believe one has to be a patient reader to fully enjoy this tale. As I was very much caught up in the imminent birth of our twin grandchildren, I found that I didn't have the patience I do think was necessary to appreciate this story fully. I do recommend this story to those who love a character driven story on memory an the things we believe we could have done better.
Thank you to Stewart O'Nan, Penguin Random House, and Edelweiss for a copy of this story.
Looking back on your life can often be a very sobering time. As you age, the events of the past become clearer and a lot of should of , could of, would of slips into out thought and makes you wonder, now with time and maturity, how would I have handled things. This was another book that Jan and I read together and for a much better perspective I think you should definitely read her review.
For Jan and my reviews you can go here: http://yayareadslotsofbooks.wordpress...
For Henry Maxwell, time has passed and now into his seventy-fifth year, he reflects back on the life he has lead. He finds himself thinking about what he was and is, a husband to Emily, a father Margaret and Kenny, and a grandfather, and as he looks to his life, a life filled with traditions, he wonders has he been a good man, a good husband, a good father? As in any family, there has been trials. His daughter Margaret is a recovering addict addicted to drugs and alcohol facing a marriage that seems to be falling apart, while his son Kenny, seems to maintain a distance that Henry sees as his fault as a parent. Even his wife Emily seems at times to be his only constant along with Rufus his beloved dog, but Emily too, seems to be distant.
This is a look back on life and a wondering if. It's something all of us do as we age, we often think if only I had done this or that differently, maybe things would be better not only for me but the people I love.
While I did enjoy the story, I found myself not totally engaged with the whole book. I tended to lose a bit of interest as the author seemed to concentrate somewhat on the game of golf which in all honesty, I know nothing about. Honestly, there was also some skimming going on as well.
This was an introspective book, one that takes a deep look into characters and their actions, and tries to make the reader understand that we are all tied to the things we have done. Our good decisions and mostly our bad ones, seemed to plague our minds and certainly they do with Henry as he wonders where did I possibly go wrong? It is something all of us wonder at various times of our lives. As an aside, I believe one has to be a patient reader to fully enjoy this tale. As I was very much caught up in the imminent birth of our twin grandchildren, I found that I didn't have the patience I do think was necessary to appreciate this story fully. I do recommend this story to those who love a character driven story on memory an the things we believe we could have done better.
Thank you to Stewart O'Nan, Penguin Random House, and Edelweiss for a copy of this story.
Looking back on your life can often be a very sobering time. As you age, the events of the past become clearer and a lot of should of , could of, would of slips into out thought and makes you wonder, now with time and maturity, how would I have handled things. This was another book that Jan and I read together and for a much better perspective I think you should definitely read her review.
For Jan and my reviews you can go here: http://yayareadslotsofbooks.wordpress...
February 17, 2022
Audiobook….read by Richmond Hoxie
…..11 hours and 59 minutes
Henry Maxwell’s first ‘luv-crush’ was for his piano teacher….[his mother and father valued education, and piano education was part of the deal]….
His entire process between lessons, his infatuation with his teacher, hiding thoughts & feelings from his parents was totally endearing.
I thought about all the many kids who are gently, (or forcefully?) encouraged to take piano lessons while growing up.
How was it working?
From our house…
Katy, age 40 — plays piano gorgeously - quite intensely- for hours daily - more today than as a child.
Ali, age 36, came up to me at around age 7, and said, “Mommy, I don’t want to play piano anymore; I’m not that type of girl”.
I laughed inside. Her signs of clearly knowing herself
were strongly showing by age 4.
So, I said, “okay, Ali ….no piano for you”
Well…from worry, stress, to practice — not wanting to look bad for his teacher — Henry got quite good at piano playing.
However,
Henry is no longer the sweet endearing child…he’s now 75 years old. (still endearing)…
We learn about his days as an altar boy, time spent in the military during World War II…. And the engineer degree he received.
Henry is approaching 50 years of marriage. Married to Emily.
They have two children Margaret, and Kenny….. and he is now retired…. His kids have kids…. So the role of grand-parenting was often - well, funny! You can only busybody yourself into your adult children’s life so much …..
And if you are wondering about the dog on the cover of this book as I was….the ‘dog-star’ is named Rufus.
This was a quiet, charming, reflective story about an ordinary man — and ordinary life- filled with delicious memories, adventures, … routine mundane daily duties…. with loving devotion to his wife and family.
We should all be as ordinary and blessed as Henry.
The writing was wonderful…. And I’ll be sure to read as many more Stewart O’Nan books that I can get my hands on.
4.5 plus
…..11 hours and 59 minutes
Henry Maxwell’s first ‘luv-crush’ was for his piano teacher….[his mother and father valued education, and piano education was part of the deal]….
His entire process between lessons, his infatuation with his teacher, hiding thoughts & feelings from his parents was totally endearing.
I thought about all the many kids who are gently, (or forcefully?) encouraged to take piano lessons while growing up.
How was it working?
From our house…
Katy, age 40 — plays piano gorgeously - quite intensely- for hours daily - more today than as a child.
Ali, age 36, came up to me at around age 7, and said, “Mommy, I don’t want to play piano anymore; I’m not that type of girl”.
I laughed inside. Her signs of clearly knowing herself
were strongly showing by age 4.
So, I said, “okay, Ali ….no piano for you”
Well…from worry, stress, to practice — not wanting to look bad for his teacher — Henry got quite good at piano playing.
However,
Henry is no longer the sweet endearing child…he’s now 75 years old. (still endearing)…
We learn about his days as an altar boy, time spent in the military during World War II…. And the engineer degree he received.
Henry is approaching 50 years of marriage. Married to Emily.
They have two children Margaret, and Kenny….. and he is now retired…. His kids have kids…. So the role of grand-parenting was often - well, funny! You can only busybody yourself into your adult children’s life so much …..
And if you are wondering about the dog on the cover of this book as I was….the ‘dog-star’ is named Rufus.
This was a quiet, charming, reflective story about an ordinary man — and ordinary life- filled with delicious memories, adventures, … routine mundane daily duties…. with loving devotion to his wife and family.
We should all be as ordinary and blessed as Henry.
The writing was wonderful…. And I’ll be sure to read as many more Stewart O’Nan books that I can get my hands on.
4.5 plus
April 8, 2019
I didn’t get it at first, the charm of this quiet novel about an aging man. It started to sink in about a quarter of the way that this ordinary man, Henry Maxwell was an American hero. Of course, not the kind that receives a “Ticker Tape Parade” up Broadway in New York City. (Yes, they’re still done, using confetti. Last one was in 2015.)
Henry represents the sort of man that was often called the backbone of this country. He fought in WWII, came home, got married and earned his degree on the GI Bill, while raising two kids with his wife, Emily. He went to work for one company until he retired. He went to work every day, supported his family, took care of his home, helped his neighbors and went to church every Sunday. He did what he thought was right and what was expected of him. Surely, if his parents were still alive, they would be proud of the man he had become, now approaching his 75th birthday.
However, as Henry looks around he wondered what his life has really meant, and if it has really mattered. He’s just an ordinary guy, no one special, there are tons of guys like him all over this country. He hadn’t accomplished anything significant, had he?
This is where I disagree with Henry. First, we need all the Henry’s we can get in our world today. Second, I adored immersing myself in Henry’s so-called, hum-drum, daily life. He and Emily are dependable, hard-working people. I am fortunate to have the real-deal in my own family. My older sister and her husband are well into their late seventies, married over fifty-seven years, with adult children and grandchildren. He served in the Navy, they both worked every day of their lives until recently, and they’re never idle. My sister cooks dinner every night often with their kids dropping over a few times a week. They go to church every Sunday and every holiday is celebrated at their house. They are my idols, my mentors.
Henry Maxwell and his family, in a novel, have real-life comparisons all over this country, and we are so lucky to have them. They’re aging now and all of us, our children, and their children will need to take over for them. I hope we’re up to it and can do a good a job as they did. Henry is concerned that everything is changing, from his neighborhood to his once toned, healthy body and mind. But he looks forward to each day with Emily and his family, holding on to hope for the future. Really, it’s all we all have.
I highly recommend this book to everyone. Make the best of every day we are given!
Thank you NetGalley, Penguin Group Viking, and Stewart O’Nan
Henry represents the sort of man that was often called the backbone of this country. He fought in WWII, came home, got married and earned his degree on the GI Bill, while raising two kids with his wife, Emily. He went to work for one company until he retired. He went to work every day, supported his family, took care of his home, helped his neighbors and went to church every Sunday. He did what he thought was right and what was expected of him. Surely, if his parents were still alive, they would be proud of the man he had become, now approaching his 75th birthday.
However, as Henry looks around he wondered what his life has really meant, and if it has really mattered. He’s just an ordinary guy, no one special, there are tons of guys like him all over this country. He hadn’t accomplished anything significant, had he?
This is where I disagree with Henry. First, we need all the Henry’s we can get in our world today. Second, I adored immersing myself in Henry’s so-called, hum-drum, daily life. He and Emily are dependable, hard-working people. I am fortunate to have the real-deal in my own family. My older sister and her husband are well into their late seventies, married over fifty-seven years, with adult children and grandchildren. He served in the Navy, they both worked every day of their lives until recently, and they’re never idle. My sister cooks dinner every night often with their kids dropping over a few times a week. They go to church every Sunday and every holiday is celebrated at their house. They are my idols, my mentors.
Henry Maxwell and his family, in a novel, have real-life comparisons all over this country, and we are so lucky to have them. They’re aging now and all of us, our children, and their children will need to take over for them. I hope we’re up to it and can do a good a job as they did. Henry is concerned that everything is changing, from his neighborhood to his once toned, healthy body and mind. But he looks forward to each day with Emily and his family, holding on to hope for the future. Really, it’s all we all have.
I highly recommend this book to everyone. Make the best of every day we are given!
Thank you NetGalley, Penguin Group Viking, and Stewart O’Nan
April 26, 2019
This is on the good side of 3 stars. A library book that was due in a few days, I started this right after finishing a book that used a lot of my psychic energy, so it was perfect in that there was little plot and excitement to tax my brain.
It's a year in the life of an ordinary man, 75 year old Henry Maxwell. He tried to be a good husband to his prickly wife Emily, a good father to his two children, a doting grandfather, good neighbor, active in his church, enjoyed puttering around his house, fixing things; in other words, a good man. We get his thoughts and ramblings in this year of declining health. This was a peaceful, easy read that was just what I needed.
This is third of a series of books by O'Nan, a little unusual in that instead of sequels, he writes prequels to the previous books. The first was "Wish You Were Here", about the sale of a lake cottage that had been in the family for 75 years, after Henry had died and the kids didn't want to bother anymore. The second was "Emily, Alone", his wife's attempt to cope after his death, and the third, "Henry, Himself", this installment. Who knows whether O'Nan will continue, but if he does, I'll read them as well. Not exciting literature, but characters that are real enough to be our own families.
It's a year in the life of an ordinary man, 75 year old Henry Maxwell. He tried to be a good husband to his prickly wife Emily, a good father to his two children, a doting grandfather, good neighbor, active in his church, enjoyed puttering around his house, fixing things; in other words, a good man. We get his thoughts and ramblings in this year of declining health. This was a peaceful, easy read that was just what I needed.
This is third of a series of books by O'Nan, a little unusual in that instead of sequels, he writes prequels to the previous books. The first was "Wish You Were Here", about the sale of a lake cottage that had been in the family for 75 years, after Henry had died and the kids didn't want to bother anymore. The second was "Emily, Alone", his wife's attempt to cope after his death, and the third, "Henry, Himself", this installment. Who knows whether O'Nan will continue, but if he does, I'll read them as well. Not exciting literature, but characters that are real enough to be our own families.
April 22, 2019
An achingly beautiful, warm, and melancholy pastoral/year-in-the-life of 75 year-old Henry who is approaching the end, though not quite there. The genius of O'Nan is that the ordinary is honored and celebrated without it ever being presented as it being more than it is.
August 9, 2019
" . . . Henry kept his opinion to himself. It was all speculation anyway. People were going to do what they were going to do. After a certain age he'd ceased to believe he might influence their lives." -- inner thoughts of title character Henry Maxwell, page 331
Henry, Himself is an extremely low-key and agreeable type of novel, at first a seemingly aimless story chronicling the calendar year 1998 of septuagenarian Henry Maxwell. Henry is from the 'Greatest Generation' - a Pittsburgh native (with lots of references to the Pirates and Steelers franchises, of course) who chose to stay in his hometown and a WWII veteran. He married his college sweetheart and raised two kids during the Baby Boom. Readers can quickly infer - with a looming 75th birthday - that he's been retired about ten years from a long career as an engineer, and he resides with wife Emily and loyal dog Rufus in a satisfactory but not extravagant upper-middle class existence.
What resonated for me was that Henry made me think of .1) my late paternal grandfather, 2.) one of my childhood neighbors (who was about the same age as my grandfather), and 3.) my own dad. Author O'Nan - a Pennsylvania native, just like his character - perfectly nailed an archetype once common for the area: a man who served in the military (likely during one of the wars), worked at one place for 30+ years, prefers a certain brand of vehicle, has a well-worn workbench in the cellar or garage, has a routine in his personal habits that provides comfort, and is relatively quiet or reserved by nature. (The wife is often more verbal and headstrong.) Well, maybe that's just a lot of guys. :-)
I'm sure some readers will think that not much happens of importance (or at all) in Henry, Himself. However, I liked the easy-going manner of following him along during the year. He is a good man - he longs for wife Emily when she takes an unexpected trip to the Midwest, he worries about his grown daughter (alcoholism and possible marital problems), and is naturally concerned about his own declining health / aging body and as well as similar issues for same-age friends / neighbors. I came to realize by the ending that the Maxwells would make pretty good neighbors in real life.
Henry, Himself is an extremely low-key and agreeable type of novel, at first a seemingly aimless story chronicling the calendar year 1998 of septuagenarian Henry Maxwell. Henry is from the 'Greatest Generation' - a Pittsburgh native (with lots of references to the Pirates and Steelers franchises, of course) who chose to stay in his hometown and a WWII veteran. He married his college sweetheart and raised two kids during the Baby Boom. Readers can quickly infer - with a looming 75th birthday - that he's been retired about ten years from a long career as an engineer, and he resides with wife Emily and loyal dog Rufus in a satisfactory but not extravagant upper-middle class existence.
What resonated for me was that Henry made me think of .1) my late paternal grandfather, 2.) one of my childhood neighbors (who was about the same age as my grandfather), and 3.) my own dad. Author O'Nan - a Pennsylvania native, just like his character - perfectly nailed an archetype once common for the area: a man who served in the military (likely during one of the wars), worked at one place for 30+ years, prefers a certain brand of vehicle, has a well-worn workbench in the cellar or garage, has a routine in his personal habits that provides comfort, and is relatively quiet or reserved by nature. (The wife is often more verbal and headstrong.) Well, maybe that's just a lot of guys. :-)
I'm sure some readers will think that not much happens of importance (or at all) in Henry, Himself. However, I liked the easy-going manner of following him along during the year. He is a good man - he longs for wife Emily when she takes an unexpected trip to the Midwest, he worries about his grown daughter (alcoholism and possible marital problems), and is naturally concerned about his own declining health / aging body and as well as similar issues for same-age friends / neighbors. I came to realize by the ending that the Maxwells would make pretty good neighbors in real life.
June 5, 2019
Please keep in mind that a two-star rating means that the book is in fact OK, but no it does not excite me.
I wanted to try a book of fiction by the author. This explains why I picked it up.
What is the author trying to say? I think the answer can be drawn from this line near the end of the book:
“The famous don’t need to be remembered again.”
Emily, the wife of the eponymous Henry, states this in reference to a celebratory New Year’s article in the newspaper.
The book is a tribute to the many ordinary individuals who at the end of their lives have achieved modest success. They are to be recognized and praised. I am in total agreement, but the book does not tackle the difficulties that must be surmounted. It vies away from serious problems and focuses more upon those that are trivial. It focuses upon everyday problems that all of us, us ordinary people, encounter. This makes the book boring and tame. Do you want to read about the trivialities of everyday life, even if they are drawn in a realistic manner?
While success in any form is praiseworthy, the book fails to promote individualism or the setting of goals that are maybe out of reach but worth striving to achieve. The book is not about those attempting to fulfill dreams. I admire those who stretch themselves, those who are willing to put themselves out on a limb, those not daunted by possible failure.
The central character is Henry. He will soon be seventy-five. Emily is five years younger. They have two kids and four grandchildren. Henry’s sister and the kids’ spouses each play a role. This is a novel about family. There is also Rufus, the dog. He too is certainly a family member. Family relationships are drawn, but not intimately. To really understand a person and relationships one must get to the bottom of problems. This is not the point of the book. If you ask me, the Emily / Henry relationship is too close to perfect. We are told that when disagreements arise the battle is fought through a prolonged silence. I am not comfortable with this.
Conformity rules. Emily cooks and takes care of the house, has her bridge and special, long-held friends to whom she is devoted. It is she that talks with the kids. Henry is a retired engineer, plays golf, follows team sports, works in the garden and hides himself behind his tools and work bench. He prefers to do everything himself. Is this his way of proving to himself that he is not getting old?! The book is more a character study of him than anyone else. It is about an elderly man coping with aging.
The audiobook is narrated by Richmond Hoxie. The narration is fine. Most of the time, but not always, l could hear what is said. That Henry is elderly comes to the fore. His voice is at times gruff and thus the words hard to decipher. Emily’s, no nonsense self-assuredness can be heard. The narration I have given three stars.
The book draws the ordinary life of a moderately successful American family, a family with the means to have a summer house, a good car and to every year celebrate Mother’s day and anniversaries at restaurants. The book Is not bad, but rather boring.
*****************
*Henry, Himself 2 stars
* The Circus Fire: A True Story of an American Tragedy 1 star
I wanted to try a book of fiction by the author. This explains why I picked it up.
What is the author trying to say? I think the answer can be drawn from this line near the end of the book:
“The famous don’t need to be remembered again.”
Emily, the wife of the eponymous Henry, states this in reference to a celebratory New Year’s article in the newspaper.
The book is a tribute to the many ordinary individuals who at the end of their lives have achieved modest success. They are to be recognized and praised. I am in total agreement, but the book does not tackle the difficulties that must be surmounted. It vies away from serious problems and focuses more upon those that are trivial. It focuses upon everyday problems that all of us, us ordinary people, encounter. This makes the book boring and tame. Do you want to read about the trivialities of everyday life, even if they are drawn in a realistic manner?
While success in any form is praiseworthy, the book fails to promote individualism or the setting of goals that are maybe out of reach but worth striving to achieve. The book is not about those attempting to fulfill dreams. I admire those who stretch themselves, those who are willing to put themselves out on a limb, those not daunted by possible failure.
The central character is Henry. He will soon be seventy-five. Emily is five years younger. They have two kids and four grandchildren. Henry’s sister and the kids’ spouses each play a role. This is a novel about family. There is also Rufus, the dog. He too is certainly a family member. Family relationships are drawn, but not intimately. To really understand a person and relationships one must get to the bottom of problems. This is not the point of the book. If you ask me, the Emily / Henry relationship is too close to perfect. We are told that when disagreements arise the battle is fought through a prolonged silence. I am not comfortable with this.
Conformity rules. Emily cooks and takes care of the house, has her bridge and special, long-held friends to whom she is devoted. It is she that talks with the kids. Henry is a retired engineer, plays golf, follows team sports, works in the garden and hides himself behind his tools and work bench. He prefers to do everything himself. Is this his way of proving to himself that he is not getting old?! The book is more a character study of him than anyone else. It is about an elderly man coping with aging.
The audiobook is narrated by Richmond Hoxie. The narration is fine. Most of the time, but not always, l could hear what is said. That Henry is elderly comes to the fore. His voice is at times gruff and thus the words hard to decipher. Emily’s, no nonsense self-assuredness can be heard. The narration I have given three stars.
The book draws the ordinary life of a moderately successful American family, a family with the means to have a summer house, a good car and to every year celebrate Mother’s day and anniversaries at restaurants. The book Is not bad, but rather boring.
*****************
*Henry, Himself 2 stars
* The Circus Fire: A True Story of an American Tragedy 1 star
April 25, 2019
This is my first Stewart O’Nan book. I have no idea why. I fell in love with Henry and his everyday life. I wanted to share his journey, each step of the way. The author deftly lays out Henry’s life without pretense and no hammered home homilies about growing old. It’s just a man living, reflecting a bit, but mostly just doing the next thing. Any bit of drama is created by extended family interactions. So don’t go looking for big, life changing plot turns. Just appreciate the grace and predictability of a lived life.
February 17, 2020
Henry, Himself
by Stewart O’Nan
Finished Sunday, February 16, 2020
I finished reading this book because I wanted to see if anything ever happen, but nothing happened.
It is well written and easy to read and the characters are well developed. You get a good sense of all of them and their personalities.
This might make a good a psychological study of Henry who worries about his death, is troubled by his estrangement from his daughter, and suffers some survivor guilt from his service during World War II.
This book may suffer from comparison. I have read some outstanding fiction lately, and this book doesn’t measure up. There is a page listing all the junk his wife has stored in the basement, and then his rescuing of some artifact of his Mother that his wife tries to get rid of in a church rummage sale. We get another page listing the drugs they both are taking.
During a family vacation at their family cottage we have Henry obsessing about his daughter-in-law’s breasts, and over who is not flushing the toilet. We are kept aware of his prostate problems and other health issues.
I’m sorry I just didn’t think it was that good.
by Stewart O’Nan
Finished Sunday, February 16, 2020
I finished reading this book because I wanted to see if anything ever happen, but nothing happened.
It is well written and easy to read and the characters are well developed. You get a good sense of all of them and their personalities.
This might make a good a psychological study of Henry who worries about his death, is troubled by his estrangement from his daughter, and suffers some survivor guilt from his service during World War II.
This book may suffer from comparison. I have read some outstanding fiction lately, and this book doesn’t measure up. There is a page listing all the junk his wife has stored in the basement, and then his rescuing of some artifact of his Mother that his wife tries to get rid of in a church rummage sale. We get another page listing the drugs they both are taking.
During a family vacation at their family cottage we have Henry obsessing about his daughter-in-law’s breasts, and over who is not flushing the toilet. We are kept aware of his prostate problems and other health issues.
I’m sorry I just didn’t think it was that good.
May 5, 2019
A collection of vignettes from a year in the life of a 75 year old man and his family. The glimpses are very realistic, but it’s like listening to your neighbor describe his boring day - new tires, mousetraps, dog poop, Christmas decorations, leaky pipes, creaky joints. Don’t read this with the expectation that anything will happen in this book.
May 4, 2019
I love reading Stewart O'Nan and I loved this book. This is a prequel to Emily, Alone, and Wish You Were Here, all three about the Maxwell family. Henry, Himself takes place during a brief timeframe of Henry Maxwell's life. He is going to turn 75, and he is acutely aware of his own mortality. The book is constructed with very short chapters, and nothing much happens...just life. This is how I remembered Emily, Alone was, and both books deliver a powerful punch in a very gently, wry way.
The writing is beautiful, as always, and I found it very poignant and sometimes funny. O'Nan has a very astute way of looking at relationships and family that ring true to me. I found the chapter, The Birthday Boy, especially moving. Henry is blowing out the candles on his 75th birthday cake. When told to make a wish..."He gathered his breath, thinking what a strange birthday it had been, closed his eyes and wished for another."
The writing is beautiful, as always, and I found it very poignant and sometimes funny. O'Nan has a very astute way of looking at relationships and family that ring true to me. I found the chapter, The Birthday Boy, especially moving. Henry is blowing out the candles on his 75th birthday cake. When told to make a wish..."He gathered his breath, thinking what a strange birthday it had been, closed his eyes and wished for another."
February 24, 2025
I got an email from Chirp Books about great deals on audiobooks and I bought this as well as a couple of other titles billed as "heartwarming." It was only $3.99 a bargain for an audiobook!
This book was pretty boring, maybe it was mostly because the pacing doesn't lend itself to an "audiobook." Although I found the main character endearing, and I appreciated the setting of Pittsburgh, the town where I grew up, this book was just too short of plot for me.
This book was pretty boring, maybe it was mostly because the pacing doesn't lend itself to an "audiobook." Although I found the main character endearing, and I appreciated the setting of Pittsburgh, the town where I grew up, this book was just too short of plot for me.
February 29, 2020
I enjoyed the time I spent with Henry this past week and my bird's eye view into his life. Henry Maxwell is 75 years old, married to his wife Emily whom he adores, and is a father to children he does not always understand. For some readers, the book might be boring, as there is not much drama going on. For me, the book matched my mood and need for calm in our stressful world.
I understood Henry perfectly, as he is a combination of some men I know well. A retired engineer, he enjoys repairing and fixing things, golfing with friends, and sports. The author went into much detail describing these activities, much as a man would (which amused me). Henry is quietly competent at the tasks he pursues, whether it's taking care of his home or helping at the church fund raiser. An important companion to Henry is his dog Rufus. Henry's conversations with Rufus are a delight.
Henry and his wife spend summers at their family cottage in Chautauqua, New York, a place that I can close my eyes and see. I know the bell tower there, the institute, Bemus Point and the lake. I can picture Henry's grandchildren going inner-tubing pulled by the boat. This added to my enjoyment.
There are another dimensions to the book, including Henry's inner thoughts and concerns. He is dealing with some health concerns and worries about his children's problems (that he can't do anything about). How Henry and Emily give each other space in their happy marriage is also described.
I look forward to reading "Emily, Alone," the author's book that focuses on Emily, and seeing life from her perspective.
I understood Henry perfectly, as he is a combination of some men I know well. A retired engineer, he enjoys repairing and fixing things, golfing with friends, and sports. The author went into much detail describing these activities, much as a man would (which amused me). Henry is quietly competent at the tasks he pursues, whether it's taking care of his home or helping at the church fund raiser. An important companion to Henry is his dog Rufus. Henry's conversations with Rufus are a delight.
Henry and his wife spend summers at their family cottage in Chautauqua, New York, a place that I can close my eyes and see. I know the bell tower there, the institute, Bemus Point and the lake. I can picture Henry's grandchildren going inner-tubing pulled by the boat. This added to my enjoyment.
There are another dimensions to the book, including Henry's inner thoughts and concerns. He is dealing with some health concerns and worries about his children's problems (that he can't do anything about). How Henry and Emily give each other space in their happy marriage is also described.
I look forward to reading "Emily, Alone," the author's book that focuses on Emily, and seeing life from her perspective.
June 29, 2022
This book was not for me, unfortunately.
I discovered that the essential glue between a reader (me) and a book is tension, and this book was flaccid.
The life of a middle class old timer of my father's vintage who did all the things that middle class people living in North America do, narrated in third person by someone who could have been the son, does not enhance what we already know about that way of life. A nostalgic romp is all I can boil this one down to.
No doubt the writer is insightful and kept an accurate caseload of vignettes and observations of a person like Henry, but they alone do not make for a novel. I wonder why O'Nan did not reveal the protagonist's real name, and had not written the book as a biography or memoir?
I discovered that the essential glue between a reader (me) and a book is tension, and this book was flaccid.
The life of a middle class old timer of my father's vintage who did all the things that middle class people living in North America do, narrated in third person by someone who could have been the son, does not enhance what we already know about that way of life. A nostalgic romp is all I can boil this one down to.
No doubt the writer is insightful and kept an accurate caseload of vignettes and observations of a person like Henry, but they alone do not make for a novel. I wonder why O'Nan did not reveal the protagonist's real name, and had not written the book as a biography or memoir?
November 19, 2025
3 Stars
May 5, 2019
Oh, how I adore Stewart O’Nan! His novels (and his non-fiction) are all so varied, so different, so unique, and yet all so good! Having loved “Emily, Alone”, I was primed to love “Henry, Himself”, and I certainly did! Henry reminded me very much of my own late father; also a WWII vet, married over 50 years, husband, father, grandfather, church-goer, good citizen. I wonder what secrets he never revealed.
In his inimitably beautiful prose, O’Nan, takes us through the life of Henry Maxwell, from his young-boy crush on his German piano teacher, to his long marriage to Emily. The way O’Nan reveals him, Henry is extraordinary in his ordinariness. He is so like most men of his generation, which is a type, yet still unique, as all humans actually are. He has secrets and regrets, WWII memories, and dark thoughts. O’Nan is a master - he can make the quotidian interesting - he describes a trip to the grocery store for a red pepper and dish-washing detergent
(baring the wrong coupon), as somewhat fraught with significance.
I often wonder, the way Henry does, about luck and happiness, “How much of life was accidental and how much was work, and practically, what were they supposed to do?” We are each such the sum of our parts, our pasts, our relationships; this lovely story of Henry will cause you to consider your own life and how you got where you are today, holding on to this gem of a novel.
In his inimitably beautiful prose, O’Nan, takes us through the life of Henry Maxwell, from his young-boy crush on his German piano teacher, to his long marriage to Emily. The way O’Nan reveals him, Henry is extraordinary in his ordinariness. He is so like most men of his generation, which is a type, yet still unique, as all humans actually are. He has secrets and regrets, WWII memories, and dark thoughts. O’Nan is a master - he can make the quotidian interesting - he describes a trip to the grocery store for a red pepper and dish-washing detergent
(baring the wrong coupon), as somewhat fraught with significance.
I often wonder, the way Henry does, about luck and happiness, “How much of life was accidental and how much was work, and practically, what were they supposed to do?” We are each such the sum of our parts, our pasts, our relationships; this lovely story of Henry will cause you to consider your own life and how you got where you are today, holding on to this gem of a novel.
November 30, 2020
Once in awhile you pick up a book you know nothing about, and find it completely absorbs you and you are lost in every nuance of the story. Someone else may pick this up and not have the same experience, but in Henry I saw my dad, my family in every detail, and I just want to read it over and over and soak it up again. Stewart O'Nan is an amazing writer--just a simple story about family and living and contemplation of it all, but yet it says so much. My favourite book of the year!
done-not-finishing
June 10, 2020Got 100 pages in, and just a list of Henry's activities and observations. Didn't catch me or even try to. As a reader I might as well have been a research monitor. I like cranky characters, but he wasn't even really that. . . .
I might try again in future. But, time is short and I've only got so many reads left. . . .ya know?
I might try again in future. But, time is short and I've only got so many reads left. . . .ya know?
June 26, 2019
Stewart O'Nan is one of those writers that is easy to overlook. His books aren't about big things---no cars crashing, no bombs exploding. O'Nan looks closely at everyday life. Henry, Himself is probably not a book some people would enjoy at all. It's simply the story of the day-to-day existence of an elderly man and his elderly life, his reminisces, his regrets, the small delights and frictions Henry faces.
June 12, 2019
I’d like to have Henry Maxwell as a next door neighbor. He cuts the grass, keeps his dog in tow, and behaves with civility. Henry, Himself is a meditation on the ordinary, a paean to an honorable man. At 75, Henry’s interior life is active and reflective. The author takes us inside.
When you’ve been reading hard-hitting politics or social criticism or perhaps violent medieval fantasy, this book is an antidote.
Henry adores his wife, Emily. Once she was gone for a few days, caring for a recuperating friend.
There are no great revelations on the meaning of life. On Easter, at his Episcopal Church, Henry kneels for prayer beside his grandchildren:
Occasionally I felt that the creation of Henry was too anodyne. Perhaps O’Nan wanted to be sure that Henry was apolitical so that anyone could relate to him, but since we have full access to Henry’s thoughts, it seems unlikely that he would not occasionally consider issues in the city or the larger world. Or maybe not. Perhaps the ruminations of family and home maintenance are all Henry wants to deal with at age 75.
Henry, Himself is a prequel to Emily, Alone, which gives similar treatment to recently widowed Emily, and Wish You Were Here, which recounts the three-generation family in its last visit to the summer home in Chatauqua, about to be sold to provide Emily with funds for her final years. While I like this trilogy, full of humanity and grace, my favorite O’Nan book (one of my all-time favorite books, in fact) remains Last Night at the Lobster, a perfect jewel of a book.
Full disclosure: I live in Pittsburgh very near Henry’s neighborhood. I know the street, the church, and the shopping areas. When Henry goes to the Home Depot, I know just where he parks. Since the novel is set in 1998, I can even tell you what has changed since then – i.e., a whole lot of gentrification in the neighborhoods that frightened Emily. But these neighborhoods are not unique, and every city has some version of Henry’s world. More crucially, every place has people like Henry, what people used to call “the salt of the earth.” Henry is in the twilight of life, and we have a deeply satisfying picture of him.
When you’ve been reading hard-hitting politics or social criticism or perhaps violent medieval fantasy, this book is an antidote.
Henry adores his wife, Emily. Once she was gone for a few days, caring for a recuperating friend.
She’d taken her pillow, which made their king seem even emptier. As if to be closer to her, he slept on her side, setting his water on her nightstand, and when he woke at three to use the bathroom, for a moment he was confused. He had to step over Rufus, but when he came back, he’d moved. Spread-eagled in the middle of the now-strange bed, adrift, still muddled from the scotch, Henry fell prey to his imagination.Lucky Emily.
There are no great revelations on the meaning of life. On Easter, at his Episcopal Church, Henry kneels for prayer beside his grandchildren:
On the way back from the airport, he needed to stop at the Home Depot for propane and Drano and the one other thing he had forgotten…. Receiving the Easter blessing, Henry remembered: grass seed.Henry’s adult children are a worry. His daughter Margaret is a recovering alcoholic in a shaky marriage. His son Kenny is underemployed and married to a woman who hates Emily. Yet they muddle through – as most people do in life. The family members gather and care for one another. Henry’s steadiness is their anchor.
Occasionally I felt that the creation of Henry was too anodyne. Perhaps O’Nan wanted to be sure that Henry was apolitical so that anyone could relate to him, but since we have full access to Henry’s thoughts, it seems unlikely that he would not occasionally consider issues in the city or the larger world. Or maybe not. Perhaps the ruminations of family and home maintenance are all Henry wants to deal with at age 75.
Henry, Himself is a prequel to Emily, Alone, which gives similar treatment to recently widowed Emily, and Wish You Were Here, which recounts the three-generation family in its last visit to the summer home in Chatauqua, about to be sold to provide Emily with funds for her final years. While I like this trilogy, full of humanity and grace, my favorite O’Nan book (one of my all-time favorite books, in fact) remains Last Night at the Lobster, a perfect jewel of a book.
Full disclosure: I live in Pittsburgh very near Henry’s neighborhood. I know the street, the church, and the shopping areas. When Henry goes to the Home Depot, I know just where he parks. Since the novel is set in 1998, I can even tell you what has changed since then – i.e., a whole lot of gentrification in the neighborhoods that frightened Emily. But these neighborhoods are not unique, and every city has some version of Henry’s world. More crucially, every place has people like Henry, what people used to call “the salt of the earth.” Henry is in the twilight of life, and we have a deeply satisfying picture of him.
August 21, 2019
Emily, Alone (which I absolutely loved) tells the story of Emily Maxwell after the death of her husband, Henry. Now O'Nan turns back the clock and gives us this remarkable prequel, showing us Henry's point-of-view as a husband and a father. This character-driven novel is comprised of short chapters (or vignettes), which share the details of everyday life ranging from concerns and worries for adult children (and grandchildren) to mundane chores such as tending a lawn, making an ATM bank deposit or outsmarting a mouse. At seventy-five, Henry is well-aware of his mortality, scanning the obituaries and paying close attention to the age of those listed in the columns. With all the struggles and frustrations that come with marriage and parenthood, Henry is patient and understanding while Emily is more brusque and testy. After nearly 50 years of marriage, they no longer need to fill their conversations with inane chatter or lengthy explanations. They know each other so well, they can speak in the briefest of sentences and know what the other is thinking. Well, for the most part. Even the closest relationships have misunderstandings. While their love is long-standing and faithful, O'Nan shares Henry's insecurities and weaknesses, creating one of the most well-drawn and vivid male character I've encountered in a novel.
I loved this deeply affecting book for its honest glimpse into a man's heart and mind. Not since The Arrivals (Meg Mitchell Moore) have I read something so profoundly real with regard to family dynamics. I can't say that I always know what my own husband is thinking or feeling, but after nearly 31 years of marriage, I can guess what he will say after reading this review. "Sounds like an excruciatingly boring book!" I disagree and I look forward to reading Wish You Were Here (which is the first in this trilogy) before giving Emily, Alone a second reading. Bravo, Mr. O'Nan. This is a gem.
I loved this deeply affecting book for its honest glimpse into a man's heart and mind. Not since The Arrivals (Meg Mitchell Moore) have I read something so profoundly real with regard to family dynamics. I can't say that I always know what my own husband is thinking or feeling, but after nearly 31 years of marriage, I can guess what he will say after reading this review. "Sounds like an excruciatingly boring book!" I disagree and I look forward to reading Wish You Were Here (which is the first in this trilogy) before giving Emily, Alone a second reading. Bravo, Mr. O'Nan. This is a gem.
September 12, 2019
I love his books!!! As one critic put it, O’Nan makes the ebb and flow of ordinary life come alive on paper. Henry is a patient wonderfully sweet man. His wife, Emily, can fret about things and run ahead with a million things on her mind to do, but Henry paces himself, and always pleases her. He keeps his troubling thoughts to himself so as not to alarm her. He’s steady and true. I loved reading this book. Their anniversaries, vacations at Chautauqua, shopping trips, walks with Rufus...all of it. Sweet and tender.
February 25, 2022
A quiet, intimate novel I will think of often. I feel I know Henry better than Emily, his wife of 49 years. I was privy to his internal conversations, his fears, his insecurities, and the tender places in his heart. I came away clinging to the belief that our lives are meaningful, even in their ordinary moments. I look forward to Stewart O’Nan’s companion novels, Wish You We’re Here and Emily Alone.
December 29, 2019
A treasure! This series of vignettes really resonated with me! I learned that it is part of a series, and realized that I had actually read an earlier one in this group, Emily Alone. That was years ago, and I was not enthused, although the books appear to be similar, and Stewart O’Nan’s writing sings. Perhaps because age wise I’m in Henry’s bracket now, so much rang true. The book is a delightful mix of ruminations and memories and regrets. Parts brought tears to my eyes I laughed so hard!
How well he evokes a sense of place, and the joy of recurring rituals throughout part of a life time! This passage refers to the family’s yearly retreat to a summer cottage.
‘Though there was no real schedule, their days assumed the same shape – chores in the morning, swimming in the afternoon. Lunch was sandwiches and leftovers on paper plates, dinner something on the grill. It was why they came, year after year, the comfort of the familiar, why they told the old stories as they sat on the screen porch while the sun set, recalling long-gone-great-aunts –and uncles and their crazy dogs. Even the errands they ran were to favorites like the Lighthouse or the Cheese Barn, destinations tinged with nostalgia. They had to have fresh corn and peaches and tomatoes from one farm stand in Maple Springs, and pies from Haff Acres, fetched home still molten.’
I could identify with the childhood anguish of learning to lose! (One might note that there are many adults in the present day who have yet to learn that lesson….) Henry’s older sister repeatedly delighted in trouncing him at all competitions.
‘……soon when anyone suggested a game, his mother would tell him he couldn’t play if he was going to get upset. He promised, under duress, thinking maybe this time it would be different, only to be overwhelmed at the end, fleeing hot-faced and seething with shame, blinking back tears as he climbed the stairs to his room, vowing vengeance on them all.’
Easily five stars! Surely I should give Emily, Alone another chance!
How well he evokes a sense of place, and the joy of recurring rituals throughout part of a life time! This passage refers to the family’s yearly retreat to a summer cottage.
‘Though there was no real schedule, their days assumed the same shape – chores in the morning, swimming in the afternoon. Lunch was sandwiches and leftovers on paper plates, dinner something on the grill. It was why they came, year after year, the comfort of the familiar, why they told the old stories as they sat on the screen porch while the sun set, recalling long-gone-great-aunts –and uncles and their crazy dogs. Even the errands they ran were to favorites like the Lighthouse or the Cheese Barn, destinations tinged with nostalgia. They had to have fresh corn and peaches and tomatoes from one farm stand in Maple Springs, and pies from Haff Acres, fetched home still molten.’
I could identify with the childhood anguish of learning to lose! (One might note that there are many adults in the present day who have yet to learn that lesson….) Henry’s older sister repeatedly delighted in trouncing him at all competitions.
‘……soon when anyone suggested a game, his mother would tell him he couldn’t play if he was going to get upset. He promised, under duress, thinking maybe this time it would be different, only to be overwhelmed at the end, fleeing hot-faced and seething with shame, blinking back tears as he climbed the stairs to his room, vowing vengeance on them all.’
Easily five stars! Surely I should give Emily, Alone another chance!
December 22, 2019
Edited 12/22/19, one of my top 10 for 2019
As another reviewer wrote, you should really be over 50 when you read this...you'll enjoy it more. And I wish I was discovering O'Nan now and could read all three of these books in sequence. But to be honest, I read Emily, Alone six years ago and much of it came back to me. (The one complaint I had with that book is also true here, it just ends.)
So Henry is 75 and retired, and O'Nan covers a year of his life in excruciating detail. He doesn't go into medical ailments--it's not that type of retirement book--and most chapters are only a few pages. I'm really impressed that neither Emily or Henry take naps (because I sure do!) and they set an alarm. Hey, I'm retired, that alarm clock is gone.
I'm from Pittsburgh (Plum Borough and went to Point Park College) but I don't know too much about the Oakland area Henry and Emily live. Unlike the Maxwells I moved around, so I don't know friends and neighbors for decades, but then I don't have to deal with the long term separations either (moving to Florida or dying).
Between the two, Henry is the more likable and perhaps as another man, O'Nan is more sympathetic to him. Emily is more cranky but has more friends, activities and social obligations which probably leads to her being more tired and upset.
As another reviewer wrote, you should really be over 50 when you read this...you'll enjoy it more. And I wish I was discovering O'Nan now and could read all three of these books in sequence. But to be honest, I read Emily, Alone six years ago and much of it came back to me. (The one complaint I had with that book is also true here, it just ends.)
So Henry is 75 and retired, and O'Nan covers a year of his life in excruciating detail. He doesn't go into medical ailments--it's not that type of retirement book--and most chapters are only a few pages. I'm really impressed that neither Emily or Henry take naps (because I sure do!) and they set an alarm. Hey, I'm retired, that alarm clock is gone.
I'm from Pittsburgh (Plum Borough and went to Point Park College) but I don't know too much about the Oakland area Henry and Emily live. Unlike the Maxwells I moved around, so I don't know friends and neighbors for decades, but then I don't have to deal with the long term separations either (moving to Florida or dying).
Between the two, Henry is the more likable and perhaps as another man, O'Nan is more sympathetic to him. Emily is more cranky but has more friends, activities and social obligations which probably leads to her being more tired and upset.
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