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Keurium
Shay Stone lies in a hospital bed, catatonic--dead to the world. Her family thinks it's a ploy for attention. Doctors believe it's the result of an undisclosed trauma. At the mercy of memories and visitations, Shay unearths secrets that may have led to her collapse. Will she remain paralyzed in denial? Or can she accept the unfathomable and break free? KEURIUM threads through one adopted Korean American's life of longing and letting go. On a quest for family, sanity, and survival, it challenges saviorism and forced gratitude. Woven through its heartbreaking fabric is a story of love and resilience.
362 pages, Paperback
Published May 1, 2018
4 people are currently reading
185 people want to read
About the author
J.S. Lee
6 books78 followersSince a young child growing up in a White family and community, JS LEE has sought refuge through art and storytelling. Through her work, she examines trauma survival, transracial adoption, the ill effects of racial isolation, and intersecting marginalization.
Beyond “Everyone Was Falling”, LEE is the author of the novels “Keurium” and “An Ode to the Humans Who’ve Loved and Left Me”, author and illustrator of the latter’s corresponding children’s books “For All the Lives I’ve Loved and Lived” and “For All the Friends I’ve Found”, and the memoir “It Wasn’t Love”. She currently lives in the Bay Area of California.
Beyond “Everyone Was Falling”, LEE is the author of the novels “Keurium” and “An Ode to the Humans Who’ve Loved and Left Me”, author and illustrator of the latter’s corresponding children’s books “For All the Lives I’ve Loved and Lived” and “For All the Friends I’ve Found”, and the memoir “It Wasn’t Love”. She currently lives in the Bay Area of California.
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Displaying 1 - 23 of 23 reviews
August 3, 2018
Keurium is a MUST READ for everyone. As an Asian, transracial adoptee, I related to this novel on so many levels. JS Lee does a wonderful job weaving a story that explains the complexities and realities with transracial adoption. I found myself tearing up at so many passages because I finally read the words I struggled to express. Even if you are not in the adoption community, I highly encourage you to read this book and see a different perspective when it comes to adoption.
June 2, 2018
Keurium is a tragic and insightful look at the often harsh realities of transracial, international adoption and the childhood trauma that so many adoptees have experienced. I am a Korean adoptee myself and, while my childhood was markedly different than Shay's, so many of her feelings and reflection on adoption, gratitude, guilt, and keurium were instantly relatable. It's amazing to see adoption and adoptee communities, culture, language, and common internal conflicts represented in a novel.
I hope readers of this novel who aren't familiar with adoptee experiences (or who are close to and seeking to understand adoptees in their own lives) walk away with a more complex view of adoption than the traditional narrative of gratitude toward one's adoptive parents and a lucky escape from terrible circumstances in an adoptee's birth country and family. So happy that JS Lee wrote this important book to bring greater depth of representation to adoptee stories.
I hope readers of this novel who aren't familiar with adoptee experiences (or who are close to and seeking to understand adoptees in their own lives) walk away with a more complex view of adoption than the traditional narrative of gratitude toward one's adoptive parents and a lucky escape from terrible circumstances in an adoptee's birth country and family. So happy that JS Lee wrote this important book to bring greater depth of representation to adoptee stories.
January 23, 2020
Despite content that could be very hard to stomach, the story is told in a very light and gentle way. A magical sprinkling of fairy dust covers the harder edges of reality, making it seem dream-like and otherworldly. And it's a glamour that coats the truth that would be too much for a young child to bear.
Shay is an Korean adoptee, raised in an affluent Caucasian household. Materially, she is very privileged, but her family is in no position to truly support and nurture her emotionally and spiritually. Quite frankly, I think each parent is trapped in his/her own personal hell, contact with which may be unavoidable when one deals with these people.
Her parents are fakes. And they've lived the lie for so long that the truth will threaten everything they have.
Shay grows up wanting to believe the lie that she grows up in, but she never quite gels with it. She notices things that don't add up, and things that she tries to forget. And her feelings don't lie, though it takes a while for her to dare to listen to what they tell her.
For her, growing up is a rough ride, and she has more than her fair share of unpleasant experiences as a young woman. But they aren't the ones that precipitate the coma that she finds herself in at the start of the novel.
Keurium was very easy to read, and the short chapters helped to move the story along at a faster pace. The first half is pretty sickening, as Shay describes her life with her fractured family, who uses Shay as a prop to make them appear to be more loving and generous than they are capable of being. In the latter half, things pick up speed as Shay begins to grasp the truth of her situation. Towards the end, things begin to look very bright, but there is still room for twists and suspense. And there are snakes as well as ladders.
If done well, I think this could be made into a very memorable film, because there is plenty of striking visual imagery.
Shay is an Korean adoptee, raised in an affluent Caucasian household. Materially, she is very privileged, but her family is in no position to truly support and nurture her emotionally and spiritually. Quite frankly, I think each parent is trapped in his/her own personal hell, contact with which may be unavoidable when one deals with these people.
Her parents are fakes. And they've lived the lie for so long that the truth will threaten everything they have.
Shay grows up wanting to believe the lie that she grows up in, but she never quite gels with it. She notices things that don't add up, and things that she tries to forget. And her feelings don't lie, though it takes a while for her to dare to listen to what they tell her.
For her, growing up is a rough ride, and she has more than her fair share of unpleasant experiences as a young woman. But they aren't the ones that precipitate the coma that she finds herself in at the start of the novel.
Keurium was very easy to read, and the short chapters helped to move the story along at a faster pace. The first half is pretty sickening, as Shay describes her life with her fractured family, who uses Shay as a prop to make them appear to be more loving and generous than they are capable of being. In the latter half, things pick up speed as Shay begins to grasp the truth of her situation. Towards the end, things begin to look very bright, but there is still room for twists and suspense. And there are snakes as well as ladders.
If done well, I think this could be made into a very memorable film, because there is plenty of striking visual imagery.
May 31, 2018
JS Lee explores the complicated issues of abuse, adoption, and identity in this uniquely told story about Shay, a Korean adoptee, who finds herself trapped in a catatonic state and is forced to face the memories she's been trying to repress for far too long.
Lee takes us on a journey of self-discovery, but perhaps more importantly self-forgiveness and reconciliation. Abuse, by its very nature is a heavy topic, which inevitably shapes our identity. Our family circumstances also impact who we become and how we see ourselves, which is all the more complicated when adoption is part of the mix. Lee deftly handles these issues in a serious way without being heavy-handed or morose. At the end of the novel, you will be left with a sense of peace and hopefulness.
*I read the paperback edition, which I purchased directly from the author's website.
Lee takes us on a journey of self-discovery, but perhaps more importantly self-forgiveness and reconciliation. Abuse, by its very nature is a heavy topic, which inevitably shapes our identity. Our family circumstances also impact who we become and how we see ourselves, which is all the more complicated when adoption is part of the mix. Lee deftly handles these issues in a serious way without being heavy-handed or morose. At the end of the novel, you will be left with a sense of peace and hopefulness.
*I read the paperback edition, which I purchased directly from the author's website.
May 27, 2018
KEURIUM begins with a unique premise -- a young woman in a catatonic state is trapped with her memories, confused about which memories are real and which are not.
This mystery is at the heart of the novel, which explores gaslighting, the complexity of transnational adoption, and the nature of consciousness. It's a compelling read from start to finish because of its dramatic conflicts and the author's excellent pacing.
As a sister adoptee who is also child abuse survivor, I found a great deal of affirmation in this book. But it's first and foremost a great story that can capture any reader of good fiction.
This mystery is at the heart of the novel, which explores gaslighting, the complexity of transnational adoption, and the nature of consciousness. It's a compelling read from start to finish because of its dramatic conflicts and the author's excellent pacing.
As a sister adoptee who is also child abuse survivor, I found a great deal of affirmation in this book. But it's first and foremost a great story that can capture any reader of good fiction.
November 28, 2018
As a transracial adoptee, I felt this book represented a lot of my own reality. There are many parallels that resonated, unexpectedly so. There’s a harsh truth to this book, a palpable pain that captivates. Even so, it’s a very quick read. The vignette style of writing is one I found to work very well. Would have to say this book is the closest thing I’ve read that remotely resembles my life and I thank JS Lee for writing this story.
September 18, 2019
It's really wonderful to find books written by adoptees. It's so odd to read some of my own thoughts or similar strains of thought in a book. This wasn't an easy read, only because of how much Shay endures. I was enraged by much of it, but mostly just baffled by her family's treatment of her, though far from surprised. Her journey of self-acceptance is a continuous one, but one we get to take with her--for a time, at least. It's a lovely one, with all its trials and tribulations. Well done.
June 25, 2018
Thought-provoking and moving, this is the story of a Korean adoptee's journey of recovery from a lifetime of stigma, trauma, and abuse. It is well-paced with a strong voice, balancing its heavy subject matter with moments of wonder and humor. Highly recommended.
December 26, 2018
A captivating story of Shay Stone, a Korean American adoptee and her journey through catatonia and in finding her place in the world. Too many spoilers if I tell you much more but the characters are well developed and Shay is a protagonist you will root for as she learns to honor her autonomy from her grossly dysfunctional adopters.
October 4, 2019
Eye-opening portrait of the trauma that can manifest from being an international adoptee. I enjoyed how Lee used both narrative and dialog to flesh out the dynamics between the family members. Particularly relatable for anyone who has experienced severe family dysfunction.
June 27, 2019
Shay Stone, the central character of this book, invites us into her life experience that slays all general notions of adoption myths and stereotypes. Her complicated and powerful emotional journey from trauma towards healing is authentic and relatable not just to transracial adoptees, but also to survivors of abuse who must navigate that road to accept themselves and take their first step onto their healing journey, despite the forces that hold them back. Thank you, Ms. Lee, for sharing this complex story, told from an adoptee's point of view.
May 26, 2018
Review forthcoming
November 19, 2018
"Beyond the traumatic reruns in your brain, the sleepless nights, and the façade of normalcy that you lose once you awaken and remove yourself from harm, there is freedom."
Through the journey of protagonist Shay Stone, author J S Lee explores a number of difficult issues including adoption, race, identity, and trauma. While J S Lee doesn't shy away from exploring the nuance of what can feel like heavy themes, the story is not bleak. In fact, what I loved most about Keurium is how beautifully it captures the reawakening and healing that can come after surviving trauma itself. Through liberation, self discovery, and self care there is freedom. Keurium is an important read for all survivors of trauma - I highly recommend it!
Through the journey of protagonist Shay Stone, author J S Lee explores a number of difficult issues including adoption, race, identity, and trauma. While J S Lee doesn't shy away from exploring the nuance of what can feel like heavy themes, the story is not bleak. In fact, what I loved most about Keurium is how beautifully it captures the reawakening and healing that can come after surviving trauma itself. Through liberation, self discovery, and self care there is freedom. Keurium is an important read for all survivors of trauma - I highly recommend it!
May 26, 2022
Haunting and soul bearing memoir, I admire all writers who are willing to share their personal stories.
Moving quotes:
“As I paint, I contemplate the art of not getting what we want. I wonder how it shapes us when we dance in the precipice of ambition and acceptance. I ruminate on the human desire to make sense of the senseless;applying meaning to things that have none.”(pg 342)
“Too many times, I’ve begged for the switch. But now I see there is no switch. There’s just a lifetime of awareness and balance. Emotional healing is not a goal or destination; it’s a practice. The way I see it, you might as well fill that life with as many fulfilling people and things as possible.” (Pg 343)
Moving quotes:
“As I paint, I contemplate the art of not getting what we want. I wonder how it shapes us when we dance in the precipice of ambition and acceptance. I ruminate on the human desire to make sense of the senseless;applying meaning to things that have none.”(pg 342)
“Too many times, I’ve begged for the switch. But now I see there is no switch. There’s just a lifetime of awareness and balance. Emotional healing is not a goal or destination; it’s a practice. The way I see it, you might as well fill that life with as many fulfilling people and things as possible.” (Pg 343)
July 5, 2020
One of my favorite books ever, I fell in love with Shay and her story and hated finishing the book for it meant I no longer could hear Shay’s words. A must read!
August 25, 2019
This book is so poignant. I could feel the words and they touched me . As an adoptee with a narcissistic “mother” I cried while reading some passages. Being adopted is difficult. I can only imagine what being a transracial adoptee is like. JS manages to convey this so well. Great,beautifully crafted book .
October 6, 2020
This story went deep into adoption from an adoptees point of view that you don’t often see in mainstream . A beautiful , complicated sometimes painful story of a woman finding her truth and her voice while so many tried to keep her silenced .
November 5, 2020
Wow. This book. So beautifully written. There's plenty I could relate to, which is comforting and sad.
Bonus: I appreciated the shorter chapters (easier to read with kids around 🤣).
Bonus: I appreciated the shorter chapters (easier to read with kids around 🤣).
April 20, 2023
Gutting, but also beautiful and hopeful.
September 30, 2023
I must admit that I didn't find this book to be bad. However, I must also acknowledge that I found it excessively melodramatic and lacking in substance, failing to offer much beyond the impression of reading someone's personal diary.
I can't deny the challenges the main character faces, but the plot simply progresses from one catastrophe to the next, and the character becomes a bundle of self-doubt. Having experienced depression and anxiety myself and knowing people who have faced depression, it's clear that each person's experience is unique. However, Shay's character never appears to strive to break free from the cycle where her pain keeps her trapped, and as a result, the book also stalls.
"Keurium" is a book imbued with the author's bias, which is then transferred to its protagonist. When crafting a narrative where virtually everything appears to conspire against the character, it becomes exceedingly challenging to reach a resolution when engulfed in a sea of problems. This is why the protagonist never undergoes any form of catharsis, and it's not that I anticipated a happy ending – a story like this cannot have one, as life rarely unfolds that way. Instead, this book only ends because the author decided to stop there, since she has exhausted all conceivable plot elements, anything extra would be redundant.
It's not entirely disappointing; it offers an engaging read up to a certain point. However, it didn't leave a particularly favorable impression on me either.
I can't deny the challenges the main character faces, but the plot simply progresses from one catastrophe to the next, and the character becomes a bundle of self-doubt. Having experienced depression and anxiety myself and knowing people who have faced depression, it's clear that each person's experience is unique. However, Shay's character never appears to strive to break free from the cycle where her pain keeps her trapped, and as a result, the book also stalls.
"Keurium" is a book imbued with the author's bias, which is then transferred to its protagonist. When crafting a narrative where virtually everything appears to conspire against the character, it becomes exceedingly challenging to reach a resolution when engulfed in a sea of problems. This is why the protagonist never undergoes any form of catharsis, and it's not that I anticipated a happy ending – a story like this cannot have one, as life rarely unfolds that way. Instead, this book only ends because the author decided to stop there, since she has exhausted all conceivable plot elements, anything extra would be redundant.
It's not entirely disappointing; it offers an engaging read up to a certain point. However, it didn't leave a particularly favorable impression on me either.
October 7, 2025
i'm giving this one 5 stars because of its relatability as an adoptee. there were parts of this book that felt like someone had watched scenes of my childhood and articulated them better than i ever could have. it was a painfully validating read and i loved it
July 21, 2019
2.5 stars: more than okay, but I wouldn’t say I liked it. I did like the premise of of the novel, and found the first half much better than the second. It was interesting to read the perspective of the narrator in a catatonic state, both in her present experience and as she floated to memories. I also appreciated how the novel dove into some of the complexities of transracial adoption. I think we were supposed to wonder if she’s a reliable narrator, but I found it to be pretty obvious that she was. I also found her family members to be a little too one-dimensional, especially the siblings. If they showed at least a tiny bit if love or empathy here and there they would’ve felt more believable.
The second half was choppier and jumped around too much for me. Too many dead end or underdeveloped plotlines. There were also a few small, strange plot holes or things that didn’t feel believable to me and got on my nerves. None of these little things were central to the overall story, but they contributed to my sense that the later half of the book was not edited or revised with as much attention as the first.
The second half was choppier and jumped around too much for me. Too many dead end or underdeveloped plotlines. There were also a few small, strange plot holes or things that didn’t feel believable to me and got on my nerves. None of these little things were central to the overall story, but they contributed to my sense that the later half of the book was not edited or revised with as much attention as the first.
dnf
January 5, 2021tw for the first 108 pages because I didn’t read the rest, and in no order, and potentially incomplete (as pertains to the first 108 pages): suicide attempt, overdose, sexual assault, rape, domestic violence, racism, gaslighting, narcissistic parents & parental abuse, adoption trauma, ableist language, eating disorder/disordered eating/body image thoughts, alcohol consumption, emotional abuse, victim blaming, vomiting.
Displaying 1 - 23 of 23 reviews