The Science of Likability: Charm, Wit, Humor, and the 16 Studies That Show You How To Master Them

by Patrick King

Are you interested in 100% scientific and proven ways to make friends quickly, negotiate anything you want, turn enemies into friends, gain trust, and just be flat-out likable?
How about step by step, methodical, literally foolproof approaches to just make people want you around more?

In The Science of Likability, that's exactly what you'll get. I've taken 16 of the most influential, famous, and effective psychological studies and broken them down to see exactly how you can use their findings to your advantage. Every piece of advice in this book to increase your social standing and likability factor is 100% backed by in-depth, peer-reviewed research.

It turns out that the majority of what we do and feel is determined subconsciously - even how much people like you. Ever get that feeling that you just don't like someone's vibe, but can't explain why? It's the little things that influence our psychology, and you'll learn how subconsciously make yourself seem likable, trustworthy, and intelligent.

From Freud, to Cialdini, to Pavlov, to Schachter, to Goleman, these 16 studies are insightful, analytical, sometimes surprising, but most importantly effective and actionable. They're easy to concretely implement in your daily life to level up your charm, wit, and humor.

Likability is the key to business, love, and relationships - make sure you are living your potential!

What will you learn? Well here's a preview...
- Chapter 2: How to read people like a book.
- Chapter 3: How to make friends out of enemies.
- Chapter 5: How to instantly become a close friend.
- Chapter 6: How to negotiate anything and be persuasive.

Intrigued? How about the following?
- Chapter 8: How to make people trust you.
- Chapter 11: How to make people do what you want.
- Chapter 12: How to be a leader that anyone will follow.
- Chapter 15: How to be credible and trustworthy.

Being likable unlocks the doors to everything you want in life. A better career? You better believe that the people with the most promotions and highest salaries aren't just the most qualified. Better love life? Being likable keeps you a potential date to anyone you want. Better relationships and friendships? Not only that, but you open the door to people wanting to be friends with you.

16 tested and proven ways to be the person you've always imagined yourself as.
Don’t hesitate to pick up your copy today by clicking the BUY NOW button at the top of this page!
P.S. Make it so people can't help but simply like you.

Genres: Psychology, Self Help, Nonfiction, Audiobook, Personal Development, Business, Social Science

203 pages, ebook

First published July 26, 2015

About the author

Patrick King is a Social Interaction Specialist, in other words, a dating, online dating, image, and communication and social skills coach based in San Francisco, California, and has been featured on numerous national publications such as Inc.com. He’s also a #1 Amazon best-selling dating and relationships author with the most popular online dating book on the market, and writes frequently on dating, love, sex, and relationships.

He focuses on using his emotional intelligence and understanding of human interaction to break down emotional barriers, instill confidence, and equip people with the tools they need for success. No pickup artistry and no gimmicks, simply a thorough mastery of human psychology delivered with a dose of real talk, perfected and honed through three years of law school.

Reviews

[Buck Wilde · Rating 2 out of 5]

Entry level "Win Friends and Influence People" pop psych with a greasy Machiavellian undertone that makes you want to wash your hands.

Sort of like Jordan Peterson, in that the people who need it most can actually benefit from it, but well-adjusted humans will find it kind of gross.

[Khanh Ngo · Rating 5 out of 5]

How to become more affable? The book covers a range of sections where you can improve your likability, backed with relevant scientific and psychological researches. The message I swallowed after reading this motivating book? "Fake it until you become it". Highly recommend for introverted people who prefer to be likeable..quietly.

[Benas Aukstikalnis · Rating 3 out of 5]

Well... Author likes dogs more than cats so there is no way I am giving him more than 3 stars. Other than that it was fun, short book. Haven't learned almost anything new. Still, not a bad book. Probably could of used more examples or something. It's weird because I mostly hate books that use too many examples, it's one of the few times in which situation is the opposite, it uses too few.

[James · Rating 3 out of 5]

I believe I got this ebook really cheap or for free on Amazon a few years back, and I had a short 80 minute late night flight where my Kindle Paperwhite's light up display would be nice, so this one fit the bill.

I like to read a lot of social psychology stuff, and this one is... all of the social psychology presented quickly and easily.

There was nothing new or super interesting in here, just the basics:

Find out what people are passionate about and get them talking about it.
Don't just do nice things for others, let them do nice things for you.
Stay present and visible.
Listen. Pay attention. Remember details and events.
Find common interests and talk about those things.
Open up and share details about your life, maybe even if it is a little TMI.

And for the love of all that is good and amazing:

RECIPROCATE RECIPROCATE RECIPROCATE.

[Vishwanath]

Leaving the aspect of it making you more likable aside - I liked it for, it explored various psychological and behavioral aspects of human actions we encounter on a day to day basis. It is thought provoking and many ideas discussed engage us to think about them next time we are in such situations and either take advantage of them or neutrally study them with better consciousness

[Alex Tumanoff · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is a very simple book. You can get some ideas about how to behave yourself in typical situation. The main problem with tips from this book is that the most ideas are so trivial. Overall the book is worse a try, but do not pin much hopes on it.

[Agostina · Rating 3 out of 5]

Sometimes you wonder why some people don't like you and with this book you will probably figure out the reason why.

I think one of the major takeaways of this book is that it says that "Relationships and friendships are happiest when there is parity". I wholeheartedly agree with this.

Example: My friend lives on the province and I live on the capital. She always makes the effort to coming here and because she is used to doing so I take it for granted. Next time, try to go to the providence or just show her in a way that you are thankful she came all this way to visit you.

This book has nice little tips such as to not stereotype. We are all three-dimentional, complex creatures and one of my favourites is to try to agree on the small things. I never realized how important that was till now.

At the end of the book it has a cheat sheet where there is a resume of every chapter. Quick read and you'll probably find something useful that you'll want to apply to you daily life.

[lieberries · Rating 3 out of 5]

A concise and practical guide to being likabile. Each advice has some psych studies backing it.

In sum: Impressions are largely subconscious, and applied psychology is useful to help bond with, convince, and appeal to others.

Summary of author's advice:
Influence mood
Being up positive memory to associate it with you

James-Lange theory:
Emotions arise from physical arousal

To read people & determine mood:
Body lang, ask questions of activity & gauge excitement
Enemy to friend
Ben Franklin effect:
Asking favors to turn enemies into friends
Mechanism: cognitive dissonance

And show you generally do people favors
Don't repay favors immediately, as that’s transactional
Balanced give & take
Subconscious accounting of value of friendships (largely emotional)

Aim for balanced give and take:
but note that we overestimate our own contributions
Friends don’t like being in debt or feeling used
Acting like a good friend
Positive transference, uses template thinking
Act like a good friend:
inside jokes, emo intimacy & support
Fake it till you make it
Negotiations
Reframe offers to emphasize what they value, so they think they win (platinum rule)
Footing in the door technique: establish agreement
Door in face technique: contrast creates humor, but risks outrage
Instant bonding
Mirroring: body lang, parlance
Ask questions to find deeper commonalities
Trust
Mere exposure effect:
Repeated exposures establish trust
But depends on level of interaction
Eg rule of seven in advertising

To enter inner circle: Stimulus-value-role theory
Stimulus: attractive
Value: belonging
Role: activities together, eg roadtrips
Endearment
Perfection elicits insecurity and envy, while flaws humanize

Show vulnerability, especially in dating

Pratfall effect:
Foibles endear us to others, as they feel more at ease & less judged
Reactance
Reverse psychology:
Use need for autonomy, taboo things are more desirable

Using devil’s advocate to convince:
Argue for otherside with weak arguments, alluding to stronger arguments for own side
Leadership
Most would rather follow than lead

Different emotional leadership styles:
Visionary leader: for indecisive moments
To convince experienced people: invite to table
Coaching leaders: vs micromanaging
Affiliative leader: seeks team bonding
Democratic: process oriented
Pace setting: for competent people seeking motivation
Commanding: for crisis
Deter Stereotyping
Provide life details, oversharing makes you 3D

Classical conditioning: associate positive feeling with you
Be a positive presence (joyful, optimistic)
Compliment others naturally, & bring food / what they like
Credibility
Is context dependent
Appeal your past exp & qualifications,
Show you care,
Show similarity (dress, parlance, mother tongue)
Be assertive (preempt & destroy counter arguments)

Use social proof: introductions bridge trust as others vouch for you

Destroyers: contradiction, hesitance & verbal tics, caught telling lies
When in doubt, leave it out: say “I don’t know”, or “I’ll get back to you”
Don’t overqualfiy, eg. “i guess”
Don’t be overly polite
Winning over the majority
Use group dynamics / herd behavior
Factors of persuasion: size of majority, closeness & important to you
implicit leaders, focus on influencers vs trying to be everything to everyone
Identify by noting who’s taking initiative & who everyone looks to

[Shhhhh Ahhhhh · Rating 4 out of 5]

How to evaluate this book? I'm always stuck on the fence about books like these. As a primer on the subject, I find it lacking. I'm not saying that I know a better primer on the subject of 'likability', because I'm not sure I've found a book that meets the subjects of regular persuasion, instant influence, getting people to like you, converting enemies, negotiating, etc, at the same time. Rather, on the scale in my head of books that are good primers on their respective subjects due to intangibles like depth gone into the subject, tools given, efficiency of content delivery, quality of references, novelty and total aggregate utility, this book does not stand up as a shining beacon. I'll recommend it only because I have nothing better to recommend on this specific subject (niche as it is) but I'm far from satisfied with it.

I also cannot consider it as a novel source of information, the kind of book I would read, cherish, possibly annotate, cite in an argument, but never recommend to the lay reader because, frankly, it's not written for that. This isn't original research. The author isn't a researcher, so far as I can see. They're presenting canned information from other fields and from other books, several of which I've read (side note: Cialdini is less Cee-al-dee-knee and more Ch-e-all-dee-knee, audiobook reader).

It's worth a read, I suppose, but I'm not going out of my way here to tout its benefits. It gets 4 stars for not having any grievous errors in chunking the data.

[Kent]

The first couple of chapters were very good and had a lot of value for making strong connections and being charismatic, the first three chapters were basically gold. However somewhere around half way through the book I started to question the validity of some of the techniques because not only did they not sound right but most of the studies used are probably way out of date and over 40 years old. It's true that in their heyday they were potentially top tier, but I get the feeling that the second half of the book was mostly added as filler to bulk up the book and make it more appealing. There were also some sections that contained some interesting theories but with little practical way of using it. Overall I recommend it if you find it at a good price because the first few chapters are very good, but there is a lot of room for improvement here. I want to give it 3.5 stars or 70% but since I can't I won't give it any rating.

[Jacob Bailey · Rating 4 out of 5]

Not a bad book, the author says himself this book works great to tie together a lot of concepts that you have likely seen before and works to embed them into your subconscious. There was still plenty of things in here that will make a ton of sense in hindsight, yet you won't have given them too much thought otherwise. I'll be looking back through this book any time I would like to further consolidate the information. It's easy enough to re-read and remind yourself of the information.

[David Kuntschik · Rating 3 out of 5]

I need ALL of King's books especially after reading this. Unfortunately, I'll need to read it again to record his practice exercises. One was regarding charisma. He said people that answer first whether right or wrong were perceived as charismatic for the their confidence. He suggested free association, open a book, any page, point to a word and rattle off five things to come to your mind. This will build your ability to free associate when presented with a question.

[Marc Mueller · Rating 2 out of 5]

The writing style of the book comes across like a term paper. Not having page numbers further added to that impression. Each chapter comes with a brief surface level reference to scientific studies, but beyond these mentions, there appears to be little substance. I found it difficult to find any content engaging, and in the contrary felt queasy about some of the borderline manipulative implications.

[Gregory · Rating 2 out of 5]

Most of the book is the compressed version of Cialdini's Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion but with almost no anecdotes and almost no explanation. The book feels rushed through and does not bring a lot of new value. If someone never read Cialdini, than I can imagine that this book still can come over as entertaining.

[Helfren · Rating 4 out of 5]

There's something in the basic things that happened in life. To master being liked and to expose yourself in the world of likeness. There's just so many variables and this book give us some kind of gap closer to those factors. One of them that surprised me is how TMI is utilized. In order to get liked, it's just way better to get known, even the little extras thing that doesn't seem to matter. Only then, someone can get truly be liked.

[Juan Jose Rodriguez Velez · Rating 4 out of 5]

Easy breezy to use. It's okay clear understandable and easy way to get what you need to get liked. I choose this rating course i know the material and it's completely worth it.

Easy breezy to use. It's okay clear understandable and easy way to get what you need to get liked. I choose this rating course i know the material and it's completely worth it.

[Kristen · Rating 2 out of 5]

There were some interesting ideas in this book, but overall I did not like the language of this book. I felt like I was studying how to manipulate people and it didn't feel right. I got through half of it and, regardless of being told by the author in the book that this wasn't manipulation, I couldn't get over it. Maybe I will pick it up again sometime, but I am done for now.

[Yogesh Pote · Rating 5 out of 5]

Sweet and Simple

Very good book for beginners, atleast you can create good perception for you or acceptance by the people but while going forward you need more subtle techniques to crack them up, YOU NEED TO INFLUENCE PEOPLE IN ORDER TO ATTRACT THEM, stick to this fact and do your acts, and start with this book.

[Kathleen Dragan · Rating 3 out of 5]

Quick read, maybe a few useful nuggets about how we are perceived by others. Though this isn’t directly specified in the book, all social norms addressed are very American/Western European in nature.

[Daniel Aguilar · Rating 3 out of 5]

Nice and quick review of many popular ideas used nowadays in marketing, politics, and self-help literature along with some of the studies backing their validity. Shallow and simplistic, of course, but good enough as a quick review.

[Jackie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Hey, a really interesting and helpful book. I would feel a little as if I were cheating if I willfully took these findings and tried to apply to every day situations. Most of them, however, are behaviors that are what you would do anyway if you only knew. Worthwhile!

[Luis · Rating 3 out of 5]

Interesting studies, but it's presented in a very robotic manner. That makes it a little boring to read. More like reading a research paper, than reading a book that I can relate to.

Good materials though.

[Jeff · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book cleanly presents some interesting (though sometimes smarmy) tips. But there’s a lot of filler for a short book, and it’s not clear how well the suggestions are extrapolated from the science.

[Pouya Eti · Rating 5 out of 5]

It's a good book about ways to become more likable. It's not very deep and practical but yet you can learn good things.

[Zais · Rating 4 out of 5]

Another book about things everybody know already.

[Andrea Greene · Rating 3 out of 5]

Good read for psychology majors and degree holders.

[Bombon · Rating 3 out of 5]

Interesting

[Abe · Rating 2 out of 5]

Dale Carnegie with the depth and thoughtfulness replaced by the pretense of science. Spoiler: no science in this book.

[Brian · Rating 1 out of 5]

A better title would be, “A Psychopath’s Guide to Humans.”

[Petr1108 · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 Good short book