Breaking Into My Life: Growing Up with a Bipolar Parent and My Battle to Reclaim Myself

by Michelle Dickinson-Moravek

Breaking Into My Life is a brutally candid memoir that chronicles the impact that growing up with a mentally ill mother had on me and how that experience continues to compromise me as an adult. The book is painfully revealing as it is uplifting and hopefully will inspire many to realize that they can overcome adversity in their lives as well. “I heard he was just diagnosed with a mental illness. Can you believe that?” The speaker is laughing so hard she can hardly get the words out. “That sure explains a lot.” The two women sitting in the pedicure chairs next to me are now both laughing. My heart sinks as the anger boils up inside me. I can feel my heart start to race as my jaw clenches. The rest of my muscles tense up. I find myself staring intensely at the television on the wall to prevent myself from looking over at them. I think to myself, Oh my God, they are sitting here belittling something that impacts so many people’s lives and is incredibly painful to so many, including me. They could be laughing about my mother. In some ways things have not changed over the past thirty years. These women have absolutely no clue how hard it is on those suffering from mental illness or on those wrapped up in the lives of the mentally ill. No wonder I kept my story a secret. To be honest, I feel a little vulnerable sharing it now, but it’s time. I wonder how many of us are confronted with this insensitivity day after day. I wonder how many of us—whether we are one of the fourteen million Americans or 450 million across the globe afflicted with mental illness, or one of the millions of loved ones forced to care for them—suffer even more challenges in our already difficult lives due to this level of ignorance. Only one third of those plagued with mental illness worldwide receive treatment. I know firsthand how hard it is to cope with this disease. I spent my childhood loving a mother who suffered from bipolar disorder and who at times lived with it untreated. Her illness not only compromised her life, it compromised her family members’ lives as well. This book is designed to help us understand the world of mental illness, challenge and transform the “suffer in silence” dynamic, and make mental illness more understood, treated and accepted.

Genres: Mental Health, Psychology

216 pages, Kindle Edition

Published February 5, 2018

Reviews

[Robyn · Rating 5 out of 5]

Dickinson shines in this memoir that offers the gift of honesty to the reader and then to herself. I’d like a follow up on how her life changes after publishing this book. A++++

[Ethan Thomason · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great read, I couldn't put it down. The ending was not the resolution I hoped for and I hope the author continues working through her past.

[Samantha Holmen · Rating 5 out of 5]

Growing up with a mother, who is ill as well, has been very challenging. Reading this book has helped me feel a lot less alone. I found myself taking photos of paragraphs so I could reread them. I hope this book can help start more of a conversation on bipolar and how it affects everyone surrounding the loved one. This book is truly phenomenal and has been everything I needed and more.

[Amy · Rating 5 out of 5]

For me, this was a very meaningful book as a grew up with a mom who was ill as well. I recommend this to anyone who grew up with this kind of challenge.

[Carrie Kelly · Rating 5 out of 5]

Relatable

I just finished this book and am in shock at the emotions I am having. This reminded me so much of my childhood, that I am just dumbfounded. I give 5 stars because of the authors tearjerking words and ability to express her feelings in a way that I have never been able to with my own bi-polar mother. I can only hope that this brings the same type of revelation to someone else. Thank you so much for writing this Michelle.

[Valerie Cantella · Rating 5 out of 5]

Michelle's story is heartbreaking but also triumphant. It was interesting to hear about the impact of caregiving for a bipolar mother, since I am the caregiver of a bipolar daughter. I'm grateful Michelle is sharing her story to raise awareness of mental illness and its effect on a family.

[Teesha Prichard · Rating 5 out of 5]

Heart felt and authentic

I related a lot to this book and it was great to read this narrative of living with a parent struggling with mental health.