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Any Man
From actress, director, and poet Amber Tamblyn, comes this shockingly original debut novel that explores the experience of victims of sexual assault as if men were targeted as women, breaking new ground on the gendered way we contemplate rape culture.
Unfortunately, you don’t have to look far, just to the news headlines, to find sexual violence in our world. In her provocative debut novel, Tamblyn challenges our willingness to accept women as victims of sexual violence and the destructive ways in which our society perpetuates rape culture.
An English teacher has a drink at a bar and is drugged and raped.
An unsuccessful standup comedian is victim of a break in and is raped.
A web designer begins an online flirtation with a mysterious person who later stalks and rapes the designer.
A fifteen-year-old high school student sexually assaulted in a bathroom.
What each of these characters have in common is that they are victims of sexual assault, and they are men. A haunting serial rapist is on the loose, who goes by the name Maude. She preys on men, at bars, online, at parties, as they live the aftermath of their assault in the form of doubt from the police, feelings of shame, and disgust from their family and friends. All the while, the media hound the victims and publicly dissect the details of their assault. What is remarkable is how each of these men band together, and it is by voicing their stories that they find strength and a way forward.
Told in alternating viewpoints, Maude is a remarkable, challenging, and dark examination of our gendered biases when it comes to sexual violence. As bold as it is timely, Maude is a poignant and strikingly original work about our pervasive rape culture that seeks to assert how powerful and transformative language can be in speaking about sexual assault.
Unfortunately, you don’t have to look far, just to the news headlines, to find sexual violence in our world. In her provocative debut novel, Tamblyn challenges our willingness to accept women as victims of sexual violence and the destructive ways in which our society perpetuates rape culture.
An English teacher has a drink at a bar and is drugged and raped.
An unsuccessful standup comedian is victim of a break in and is raped.
A web designer begins an online flirtation with a mysterious person who later stalks and rapes the designer.
A fifteen-year-old high school student sexually assaulted in a bathroom.
What each of these characters have in common is that they are victims of sexual assault, and they are men. A haunting serial rapist is on the loose, who goes by the name Maude. She preys on men, at bars, online, at parties, as they live the aftermath of their assault in the form of doubt from the police, feelings of shame, and disgust from their family and friends. All the while, the media hound the victims and publicly dissect the details of their assault. What is remarkable is how each of these men band together, and it is by voicing their stories that they find strength and a way forward.
Told in alternating viewpoints, Maude is a remarkable, challenging, and dark examination of our gendered biases when it comes to sexual violence. As bold as it is timely, Maude is a poignant and strikingly original work about our pervasive rape culture that seeks to assert how powerful and transformative language can be in speaking about sexual assault.
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First published June 26, 2018
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About the author
Amber Tamblyn
16 books901 followersAmber Tamblyn is an author, actor, and director. She's been nominated for an Emmy, Golden Globe, and Independent Spirit Award for her work in television and film, including House M.D. and Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants. Most recently, she wrote and directed the feature film Paint It Black. She is the author of three books of poetry, including the critically acclaimed bestseller Dark Sparkler, and a novel, Any Man, as well as a contributing writer for the New York Times. She lives in New York.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 2,868 reviews
September 5, 2022
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This book is unlike anything I have ever read, and I am utterly emotionally ruined by it.
Seriously. This book has fucked me up.
I started reading this in the morning and I didn’t put it down until I read the last page that evening. I was completely obsessed, completely enthralled and emotionally enamoured.
This is the story of five men, all of whom have been the victim of an anonymous serial rapist known as Maude. It is the story of how the media handles rape, and how society handles rape. How we speak about it, how we shame, how we lay blame. It’s about the questions we ask, how we ask them and the assumptions we make. How we try to make ourselves feel more comfortable in the presence of someone else’s trauma. How the survivors grapple with their new reality, and their upended perception of themselves, their relationships, their bodies and the world around them.
It’s about gender equality and gender roles and gender assumptions. It’s about the groups we align ourselves with, the lines in the sand we draw as tribes. The hate we have. The resentment we have. How women feel about our history, our progress and what still holds us back, and how the things that happen to us don't matter until it happens to a man. It’s about how blind we are to our shared wants and needs. And how if we just worked together we could change things. Everything.
It’s also creepy with elements of suspense.
All things combined, it became a work of art that was literally intoxicating. At one point my husband said, “are you going to stop reading soon?” I look at the clock – I’d been reading for 4 hours and I didn’t even realize it.
This is not a narrative novel in the typical sense. There are no real scenes, no setting, no description. It is abstract in its prose, but it's in this abstract style that you are hit with so much raw, unflinching emotion that it becomes impossible to look away. Though it may become so overwhelming for some, you need to take an emotional reading break.
The book is woven together with poetry, prose, journal entries, radio show dialogue, tweets and dating app chats and monologues and erratic thoughts. You live within the characters as they speak; you watch the news, you read the tweets, you see the texts. It's a sobering experience that shows you just how awful we are online. You are on the outside looking in, taking you away from your own timelines and newsfeeds, and forcing you to see how we behave as a group from a clearer, more distant perspective.
What I think is absolutely brilliant, is that the book uses male victims in the story to create a powerful point that is two-pronged.
One: When a man is raped it gets attention. But when a woman is raped, it is expected.
Two: When a man is raped, he is ridiculed. When a woman is raped, she is doubted.
This is not a “feminist” diatribe in paperback. It is an honest, rational look at the way society has conditioned us to approach sexual assault and sexual assault victims.
Each character receives their own “part” of the book, and although there are no labels or titles to let you know who is speaking, the voices are so unique that you know exactly who is speaking. There are characters who are just like you and me, and then there are characters who are obviously inspired by real-life figureheads who perpetuate certain aspects of how society is currently functioning.
Like Sebastian White, a gay Libertarian opinion writer who hates feminists and liberals and goes on and on about what a unicorn he is being a gay man in the alt-right movement.
"There’s so much to loathe in this world, wouldn’t you agree? Islam. Welfare leeches. Rachel Maddow. Liberals. Sean Penn! Anything with beets in it. But more than any of that, as you know, I loathe feminists. It’s no small miracle that all feminists in America haven’t been stoned to death by now. I’m just telling you the truth. Feminists are pollution, taking a stance – against what exactly, no one in their right mind knows."
It’s ironic that this character would then go on to be raped and have feminists rally around him, even though he's spent years demonizing them. It's the difference between living your life with actual principles and living your life based on hatred.
The culture in which a raped man is questioned about having an erection during the assault is a patriarchal one that feminism seeks to dismantle in order to replace it with one where a male sexual assault victim is not asked about his boners. Where a woman gets the benefit of the doubt. Where rape kits don’t sit untested for decades. Where victims are not asked about how much they had to drink, or what they were wearing. Male or female.
There is a poignant moment in one of the scenes where men are in a bar, sitting around joking about the victims, and then a woman walks in and the men push their alcoholic drinks away and instead sip at their water. Knowing. Scared of this random woman.
It’s not something men think about very often. Or ever. What it’s like to walk through a parking garage by yourself. Or to the store across the street at night. Or needing to watch your drink in public spaces.
What I believe makes this book so powerful is that this is not about women being raped. We as a society are slightly numb to the idea of women being the victims of sexual violence. Hell, my favourite fiction genres make a pretty good living thinking up new and exciting ways to kill women - put them in cages or chain them to walls or stuff them in freezers. It’s all for entertainment, right? God for-fucking-bid someone says “fuck” on TV or shows a nipple! But don’t forget to tune in at 9pm for a new SVU episode – this week another woman is abused!
Honestly, though I have no real issue with that kind of fiction. I do think books and shows, done right, are a source of light to shine onto the issues women face. People have an easier time learning empathy from fiction. I think it's important to show women that we are not alone in our experiences, to show others what those experiences can be and load up our arsenals with the options we see that might save our lives, should we ever need to.
This book is so fucking important. It’s not only a work of art, it’s a work of societal importance. And it’s also pretty creepy.
Maude is a faceless void. You literally know nothing about her, except that she could be any woman who walks into a bar. Any woman you pass on the street. Any woman you ride in an elevator with.
Just like for women, our “Maude” could be any man who walks into a bar. Any man we pass on the street. Any man we ride in an elevator with. It's not all men, but it's enough of them. It's not all men, but we have no way of knowing which men it is. Hetero women are the only species who need to mate with our only known predator. You know, what I mean?
This is, far and away, the only book I have read in literally a decade that has made me this emotional and awe-inspired.
Next time someone asks me my favourite book of all time, I’ll have a hard time not saying this one.
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ | 5 stars x infinity
This book is unlike anything I have ever read, and I am utterly emotionally ruined by it.
Seriously. This book has fucked me up.
I started reading this in the morning and I didn’t put it down until I read the last page that evening. I was completely obsessed, completely enthralled and emotionally enamoured.
This is the story of five men, all of whom have been the victim of an anonymous serial rapist known as Maude. It is the story of how the media handles rape, and how society handles rape. How we speak about it, how we shame, how we lay blame. It’s about the questions we ask, how we ask them and the assumptions we make. How we try to make ourselves feel more comfortable in the presence of someone else’s trauma. How the survivors grapple with their new reality, and their upended perception of themselves, their relationships, their bodies and the world around them.
It’s about gender equality and gender roles and gender assumptions. It’s about the groups we align ourselves with, the lines in the sand we draw as tribes. The hate we have. The resentment we have. How women feel about our history, our progress and what still holds us back, and how the things that happen to us don't matter until it happens to a man. It’s about how blind we are to our shared wants and needs. And how if we just worked together we could change things. Everything.
It’s also creepy with elements of suspense.
All things combined, it became a work of art that was literally intoxicating. At one point my husband said, “are you going to stop reading soon?” I look at the clock – I’d been reading for 4 hours and I didn’t even realize it.
This is not a narrative novel in the typical sense. There are no real scenes, no setting, no description. It is abstract in its prose, but it's in this abstract style that you are hit with so much raw, unflinching emotion that it becomes impossible to look away. Though it may become so overwhelming for some, you need to take an emotional reading break.
The book is woven together with poetry, prose, journal entries, radio show dialogue, tweets and dating app chats and monologues and erratic thoughts. You live within the characters as they speak; you watch the news, you read the tweets, you see the texts. It's a sobering experience that shows you just how awful we are online. You are on the outside looking in, taking you away from your own timelines and newsfeeds, and forcing you to see how we behave as a group from a clearer, more distant perspective.
What I think is absolutely brilliant, is that the book uses male victims in the story to create a powerful point that is two-pronged.
One: When a man is raped it gets attention. But when a woman is raped, it is expected.
Two: When a man is raped, he is ridiculed. When a woman is raped, she is doubted.
This is not a “feminist” diatribe in paperback. It is an honest, rational look at the way society has conditioned us to approach sexual assault and sexual assault victims.
Each character receives their own “part” of the book, and although there are no labels or titles to let you know who is speaking, the voices are so unique that you know exactly who is speaking. There are characters who are just like you and me, and then there are characters who are obviously inspired by real-life figureheads who perpetuate certain aspects of how society is currently functioning.
Like Sebastian White, a gay Libertarian opinion writer who hates feminists and liberals and goes on and on about what a unicorn he is being a gay man in the alt-right movement.
"There’s so much to loathe in this world, wouldn’t you agree? Islam. Welfare leeches. Rachel Maddow. Liberals. Sean Penn! Anything with beets in it. But more than any of that, as you know, I loathe feminists. It’s no small miracle that all feminists in America haven’t been stoned to death by now. I’m just telling you the truth. Feminists are pollution, taking a stance – against what exactly, no one in their right mind knows."
It’s ironic that this character would then go on to be raped and have feminists rally around him, even though he's spent years demonizing them. It's the difference between living your life with actual principles and living your life based on hatred.
The culture in which a raped man is questioned about having an erection during the assault is a patriarchal one that feminism seeks to dismantle in order to replace it with one where a male sexual assault victim is not asked about his boners. Where a woman gets the benefit of the doubt. Where rape kits don’t sit untested for decades. Where victims are not asked about how much they had to drink, or what they were wearing. Male or female.
There is a poignant moment in one of the scenes where men are in a bar, sitting around joking about the victims, and then a woman walks in and the men push their alcoholic drinks away and instead sip at their water. Knowing. Scared of this random woman.
It’s not something men think about very often. Or ever. What it’s like to walk through a parking garage by yourself. Or to the store across the street at night. Or needing to watch your drink in public spaces.
What I believe makes this book so powerful is that this is not about women being raped. We as a society are slightly numb to the idea of women being the victims of sexual violence. Hell, my favourite fiction genres make a pretty good living thinking up new and exciting ways to kill women - put them in cages or chain them to walls or stuff them in freezers. It’s all for entertainment, right? God for-fucking-bid someone says “fuck” on TV or shows a nipple! But don’t forget to tune in at 9pm for a new SVU episode – this week another woman is abused!
Honestly, though I have no real issue with that kind of fiction. I do think books and shows, done right, are a source of light to shine onto the issues women face. People have an easier time learning empathy from fiction. I think it's important to show women that we are not alone in our experiences, to show others what those experiences can be and load up our arsenals with the options we see that might save our lives, should we ever need to.
This book is so fucking important. It’s not only a work of art, it’s a work of societal importance. And it’s also pretty creepy.
Maude is a faceless void. You literally know nothing about her, except that she could be any woman who walks into a bar. Any woman you pass on the street. Any woman you ride in an elevator with.
Just like for women, our “Maude” could be any man who walks into a bar. Any man we pass on the street. Any man we ride in an elevator with. It's not all men, but it's enough of them. It's not all men, but we have no way of knowing which men it is. Hetero women are the only species who need to mate with our only known predator. You know, what I mean?
This is, far and away, the only book I have read in literally a decade that has made me this emotional and awe-inspired.
Next time someone asks me my favourite book of all time, I’ll have a hard time not saying this one.
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ | 5 stars x infinity
June 29, 2018
When I was in my twenties I was attacked, assaulted, groped.
I don't know what word to really use for it.
I was on a bus that was full of people. The subway was broken down and I had to stand. I was facing the windows and leaning over some old woman who wasn't making eye contact because you don't do that on NYC public transportation if you can help it. I didn't see his face. At first I just assumed it was because there were so many people. The trains and the buses get super crowded, especially in summer. I could feel him against my back and my ass. When he started moving against me, grinding (there I said it) I told myself it was just the bus swaying back and forth. He wasn't doing it on purpose. Nothing was happening. What every fucking fiber of my being was telling me was happening was definitely NOT happening. I took a step forward. He took a step forward and then I felt, or maybe I just thought I felt, his hand on my leg. It was very hot and I was sweating and I was awash with these terrible feelings of fear and guilt. All the things I swore I'd never feel if something like this happened to me crashed in on me all at once.
I shouldn't make a scene, I was blowing it out of proportion, this wasn't a big deal, he wasn't hurting me, I'd be able to get off the bus soon, it was my fault, I shouldn't have worn a dress to work that day, what would I even tell a cop?
I don't even have the pleasure of telling you that I got him in the end. I didn't elbow him in the crotch or slam my foot down on his or even make blistering eye contact with him as he got off the bus. I never even saw his face. The bus stopped and he disappeared into the crowd and I wouldn't have been able to pick him out of a line up even if I had found a cop.
That was almost twenty years ago. You can't shut me up about the shit I got up to in college but I've only just started telling that story. I think I've been ashamed for a long time that I didn't do anything to stop him. Like where was my self respect? Or that "I'm gonna mess you up if you even think about giving me any grief" attitude everyone I've ever known will tell you I wear all over me like a goddamn badge of honor? Where was that? Logically I know how stupid that is. Logically I know that it doesn't matter what I was wearing or doing or not doing. I could have been naked on that bus and he still would have had no right to do what he did. I had every right to scream my head off, punch him in the face, call the cops and have him arrested.
But I didn't.
Just like I didn't do anything about the homeless guy who jacked off next to me on the subway that time or the hundreds of men over the years who've called me a slut or asked me to "give me a piece of that ass" from a passing car or told me to smile "cause you're so pretty" or whistled or blown sloppy kisses or grabbed at me in a bar because "whoah sorry I almost tripped ha ha ha" or followed me down a dark street when I was careless enough to walk home in the early evening through a bad part of town with my roommate.
Because I live in a world that's taught me from the cradle that my body is not my own. It is the property of a society that sees my breasts and my pussy before it sees me, Sara, the human being with a mind and a soul and a heartbeat that's just as strong and vital and important as that fucking asshole on that bus and all the assholes before and after. I live in a world that has told me and my sisters for generation upon generation that we are lesser. We must submit. We must endure. We must acquiesce. We must lie back and think of mother fucking England. We must be sexy. But not too sexy. We must be mothers, that's what we were built for! But we musn't let ourselves go. We must watch our carb intake and never miss an episode of American's Next Top Model and follow all of Cosmo's beauty tips. But no guy likes a girl who doesn't want to eat a quarter pounder! We must be patient and kind and understanding and supportive. But we can't expect guys to read our minds or understand our feelings because they're so different from ours! We must control ourselves and what we wear and what we say and how much we drink and where we go at night. We can't expect men to control themselves. Its different for them. They're wired differently, built differently, they can't help it, its instinct.
Its our fault.
That's what this book made me think about. That's what this book made me want to talk about. It made all the anger and guilt and bullshit kind of rise up and turn into a sort of righteous feeling of pride. I know that doesn't make much sense. I mean this is a book about a woman who is a monster. It's called Any Man because it doesn't matter what kind of man it is, every now and then she chooses one. It could be a boy, an old man, a gay man or a straight one. She chooses one and she rapes him. She takes away the thing that defines him as a man. And then she vanishes.
This book is about those men left behind who struggle, and die over and over and over again, and move on or don't, and become inspiring leaders or hopeless, wasted husks of who they once were. They become victims of the vicious, catty, fucking evil social media twenty four hour "news" cycle zeitgeist. They're turned into the pet causes of celebrities and the punchlines of viral twitter jokes. They're vilified and adored and questioned and disbelieved and held up as role models.
And something about these crimes that have been present in our world since we climbed up out of the primordial ooze being put into this context, putting them on men, made them real for me. They were unique instances of horror and violation that felt more believable because they happened to men. And yes, in a way that's horrible. My own experience became more valid to me because I looked at it happening to people who aren't usually the victims, who to my mind shouldn't be the victims, and felt all the horror and anger and lust for justice.
I'm not smart enough by half to start giving some intellectual social commentary on this book. I can't talk about the feminist mystique or empowerment or use any of the buzz words. I can't even really talk about what I think Amber Tamblyn was trying to accomplish with this book.
I can tell you that its astoundingly well written. That the voice of every victim is unique and terrible and beautiful. I can tell you I couldn't put it down from the second I picked it up. I can tell you I hated and feared the woman who haunted these men just as much as I've ever hated the men who usually take her place. I can tell you that this isn't some uber feminist manifesto of revenge that's calling to every woman to rise up against her oppressors.
But I do think it is a call to action. Its a call to rise up not against each other but against the world that made us what we are now. We have to recognize that we have the power to make this a different world that isn't ruled by social media trends and how many "likes" your stupid vacation photos got or what you wear or how much you drink or what you do for a living or how much money you make. We can't keep thinking its enough to add #metoo to a tweet and consider that "being part of the movement." We can't share a baleful nod with our neighbors about the fucking horrors in Texas and consider that "being part of the conversation." We can't let loose our rage on the world and then leave others to pick up the pieces and find the solutions. WE have to recreate the world. We can't keep sitting around assuming someone else will do it for us. Because when we do that THIS is what we get. This thing we're trapped in now is what we get.
I refuse to be that girl on the bus anymore. I fucking refuse to stand there silent while some stranger rubs his dick against me. I will take the guilt and the second guessing and the fear of people staring and wondering what I did to make him do that and I will tell it to fuck right the hell off.
We need to take our stories and our pain and glorious rage and turn it into a better world. Because no one else will do it.
I don't know what word to really use for it.
I was on a bus that was full of people. The subway was broken down and I had to stand. I was facing the windows and leaning over some old woman who wasn't making eye contact because you don't do that on NYC public transportation if you can help it. I didn't see his face. At first I just assumed it was because there were so many people. The trains and the buses get super crowded, especially in summer. I could feel him against my back and my ass. When he started moving against me, grinding (there I said it) I told myself it was just the bus swaying back and forth. He wasn't doing it on purpose. Nothing was happening. What every fucking fiber of my being was telling me was happening was definitely NOT happening. I took a step forward. He took a step forward and then I felt, or maybe I just thought I felt, his hand on my leg. It was very hot and I was sweating and I was awash with these terrible feelings of fear and guilt. All the things I swore I'd never feel if something like this happened to me crashed in on me all at once.
I shouldn't make a scene, I was blowing it out of proportion, this wasn't a big deal, he wasn't hurting me, I'd be able to get off the bus soon, it was my fault, I shouldn't have worn a dress to work that day, what would I even tell a cop?
I don't even have the pleasure of telling you that I got him in the end. I didn't elbow him in the crotch or slam my foot down on his or even make blistering eye contact with him as he got off the bus. I never even saw his face. The bus stopped and he disappeared into the crowd and I wouldn't have been able to pick him out of a line up even if I had found a cop.
That was almost twenty years ago. You can't shut me up about the shit I got up to in college but I've only just started telling that story. I think I've been ashamed for a long time that I didn't do anything to stop him. Like where was my self respect? Or that "I'm gonna mess you up if you even think about giving me any grief" attitude everyone I've ever known will tell you I wear all over me like a goddamn badge of honor? Where was that? Logically I know how stupid that is. Logically I know that it doesn't matter what I was wearing or doing or not doing. I could have been naked on that bus and he still would have had no right to do what he did. I had every right to scream my head off, punch him in the face, call the cops and have him arrested.
But I didn't.
Just like I didn't do anything about the homeless guy who jacked off next to me on the subway that time or the hundreds of men over the years who've called me a slut or asked me to "give me a piece of that ass" from a passing car or told me to smile "cause you're so pretty" or whistled or blown sloppy kisses or grabbed at me in a bar because "whoah sorry I almost tripped ha ha ha" or followed me down a dark street when I was careless enough to walk home in the early evening through a bad part of town with my roommate.
Because I live in a world that's taught me from the cradle that my body is not my own. It is the property of a society that sees my breasts and my pussy before it sees me, Sara, the human being with a mind and a soul and a heartbeat that's just as strong and vital and important as that fucking asshole on that bus and all the assholes before and after. I live in a world that has told me and my sisters for generation upon generation that we are lesser. We must submit. We must endure. We must acquiesce. We must lie back and think of mother fucking England. We must be sexy. But not too sexy. We must be mothers, that's what we were built for! But we musn't let ourselves go. We must watch our carb intake and never miss an episode of American's Next Top Model and follow all of Cosmo's beauty tips. But no guy likes a girl who doesn't want to eat a quarter pounder! We must be patient and kind and understanding and supportive. But we can't expect guys to read our minds or understand our feelings because they're so different from ours! We must control ourselves and what we wear and what we say and how much we drink and where we go at night. We can't expect men to control themselves. Its different for them. They're wired differently, built differently, they can't help it, its instinct.
Its our fault.
That's what this book made me think about. That's what this book made me want to talk about. It made all the anger and guilt and bullshit kind of rise up and turn into a sort of righteous feeling of pride. I know that doesn't make much sense. I mean this is a book about a woman who is a monster. It's called Any Man because it doesn't matter what kind of man it is, every now and then she chooses one. It could be a boy, an old man, a gay man or a straight one. She chooses one and she rapes him. She takes away the thing that defines him as a man. And then she vanishes.
This book is about those men left behind who struggle, and die over and over and over again, and move on or don't, and become inspiring leaders or hopeless, wasted husks of who they once were. They become victims of the vicious, catty, fucking evil social media twenty four hour "news" cycle zeitgeist. They're turned into the pet causes of celebrities and the punchlines of viral twitter jokes. They're vilified and adored and questioned and disbelieved and held up as role models.
And something about these crimes that have been present in our world since we climbed up out of the primordial ooze being put into this context, putting them on men, made them real for me. They were unique instances of horror and violation that felt more believable because they happened to men. And yes, in a way that's horrible. My own experience became more valid to me because I looked at it happening to people who aren't usually the victims, who to my mind shouldn't be the victims, and felt all the horror and anger and lust for justice.
I'm not smart enough by half to start giving some intellectual social commentary on this book. I can't talk about the feminist mystique or empowerment or use any of the buzz words. I can't even really talk about what I think Amber Tamblyn was trying to accomplish with this book.
I can tell you that its astoundingly well written. That the voice of every victim is unique and terrible and beautiful. I can tell you I couldn't put it down from the second I picked it up. I can tell you I hated and feared the woman who haunted these men just as much as I've ever hated the men who usually take her place. I can tell you that this isn't some uber feminist manifesto of revenge that's calling to every woman to rise up against her oppressors.
But I do think it is a call to action. Its a call to rise up not against each other but against the world that made us what we are now. We have to recognize that we have the power to make this a different world that isn't ruled by social media trends and how many "likes" your stupid vacation photos got or what you wear or how much you drink or what you do for a living or how much money you make. We can't keep thinking its enough to add #metoo to a tweet and consider that "being part of the movement." We can't share a baleful nod with our neighbors about the fucking horrors in Texas and consider that "being part of the conversation." We can't let loose our rage on the world and then leave others to pick up the pieces and find the solutions. WE have to recreate the world. We can't keep sitting around assuming someone else will do it for us. Because when we do that THIS is what we get. This thing we're trapped in now is what we get.
I refuse to be that girl on the bus anymore. I fucking refuse to stand there silent while some stranger rubs his dick against me. I will take the guilt and the second guessing and the fear of people staring and wondering what I did to make him do that and I will tell it to fuck right the hell off.
We need to take our stories and our pain and glorious rage and turn it into a better world. Because no one else will do it.
August 3, 2024
‘I’m in a body. It is not the one I came here with, but it is the one I’ll leave here in. I will take care of it. It belongs to me now. My pain, I will take care of it. It belongs to me now.’
Amber Tamblyn's ‘Any Man’ is a daring and innovative novel that stands out for its unique structure and powerful storytelling. From the outset, Tamblyn's decision to blend poetry, prose, and a multimedia narrative creates an immersive reading experience. The novel tackles the deeply unsettling topic of sexual violence, but with a twist: it centers on male victims and a female predator.
The narrative is divided among multiple male characters, each grappling with the aftermath of their assaults by the elusive and enigmatic Maude. These voices range from a radio show host to a struggling writer, each bringing a different perspective to the shared trauma. Through their stories, Tamblyn delves into the complex emotions of shame, anger, and helplessness that accompany such experiences, regardless of the victim's gender.
The novel doesn't shy away from exploring the societal reactions to male victims of sexual assault. It critiques the toxic masculinity that often silences these men and the skepticism they face when they dare to speak out. Tamblyn's portrayal of the media's sensationalism and the public's voyeuristic curiosity is both scathing and insightful, highlighting how these elements further victimize the survivors.
The novel is a call to action, urging us to listen to all survivors and to challenge the societal norms that perpetuate cycles of abuse.
Any Man is a bold and thought provoking work that pushes boundaries and demands attention. Amber Tamblyn's fearless storytelling and innovative approach make this a must read for anyone interested in contemporary literature that tackles difficult but crucial subjects.
My Highest Recommendation.
Amber Tamblyn's ‘Any Man’ is a daring and innovative novel that stands out for its unique structure and powerful storytelling. From the outset, Tamblyn's decision to blend poetry, prose, and a multimedia narrative creates an immersive reading experience. The novel tackles the deeply unsettling topic of sexual violence, but with a twist: it centers on male victims and a female predator.
The narrative is divided among multiple male characters, each grappling with the aftermath of their assaults by the elusive and enigmatic Maude. These voices range from a radio show host to a struggling writer, each bringing a different perspective to the shared trauma. Through their stories, Tamblyn delves into the complex emotions of shame, anger, and helplessness that accompany such experiences, regardless of the victim's gender.
The novel doesn't shy away from exploring the societal reactions to male victims of sexual assault. It critiques the toxic masculinity that often silences these men and the skepticism they face when they dare to speak out. Tamblyn's portrayal of the media's sensationalism and the public's voyeuristic curiosity is both scathing and insightful, highlighting how these elements further victimize the survivors.
The novel is a call to action, urging us to listen to all survivors and to challenge the societal norms that perpetuate cycles of abuse.
Any Man is a bold and thought provoking work that pushes boundaries and demands attention. Amber Tamblyn's fearless storytelling and innovative approach make this a must read for anyone interested in contemporary literature that tackles difficult but crucial subjects.
My Highest Recommendation.
June 19, 2023
Reading Vlog: https://youtu.be/GtUcKV4GJio
Not only is this the best book I've read in 2023, it's one of the best books I've read in my L I F E.
Warning for anyone unaware - this is extremely triggering content. I had to set the book down at least a dozen times and walk away. It messed me up in more ways than one. But it's also one of the most stunningly written and expertly told books I've ever come across.
This needs way more hype. It was written in 2018 and I just saw it for the first time a few months ago. That's a crime in my opinion. I have shoved this book down so many people's throats and I only finished it last week. It's currently on loan to a coworker.
It's impossible for me to quantify the importance of this book. It's a must read. If you have a book club, choose this as an option. It begs to be discussed at length and in a group setting. It's harrowing and gut wrenching but also relevant and necessary and eye opening. A true shock to the system.
Here are some quotes that really slapped me in the face...
"I do not tell her that I tried to stop it. Because I can't remember if I did."
"I know despair. Known it for years. I've introduced it to my family and spent holidays with it. I argue with it about how to load the dishwasher. I go for long walks at dusk and let it spew it's foul thoughts in my ears. I take it to the doctor when it's not feeling well. I ride home with it after every show I do. Especially the good ones. That's when despair really likes to be there for me. To remind me it was just a fluke I thank despair for keeping me honest, for never lying to me. I take it to my place and offer it a nightcap. I fuck it feel better. I wake up a bitter man."
"The bell above the bar door jingles. I look over my shoulder to yell at Louis. But it's a woman. Alone. Jimmy changes the channel. I lock eyes with him in the mirror. I push my scotch away and take a sip of water instead."
“Let me be emphatically clear - They. Don't. Care. About. Us. People who live through sexual assault are a crash on the side of the road and the American media is nothing more than cars slowing down just long enough to take a peak, just long enough to take a picture before speeding off to their next fatality. A country that says 'Innocent until proven guilty' even though the proving of assault is nearly impossible. Tell me how you prove coercion? How you prove the difference between being hit on and being hunted? How you prove your arms were held down? Your body was touched? Your life was threatened if you ever told anyone? For people who have suffered violent sexual crimes, proof—the very act of proving—is more than just a burden. It is boundless bearing. An eternity of futility.”
“How can you go on living when you’re now being lived in? When you’ve been invaded?"
“I am in a body. It is not the one I came here with, but it is the one I’ll leave here in. I will take care of it. It belongs to me now. My pain, I will take care of it. It belongs to me now. My heart, I will take care of it. It belongs to me now. My story, I will take care of it. It belongs to me now.”
Not only is this the best book I've read in 2023, it's one of the best books I've read in my L I F E.
Warning for anyone unaware - this is extremely triggering content. I had to set the book down at least a dozen times and walk away. It messed me up in more ways than one. But it's also one of the most stunningly written and expertly told books I've ever come across.
This needs way more hype. It was written in 2018 and I just saw it for the first time a few months ago. That's a crime in my opinion. I have shoved this book down so many people's throats and I only finished it last week. It's currently on loan to a coworker.
It's impossible for me to quantify the importance of this book. It's a must read. If you have a book club, choose this as an option. It begs to be discussed at length and in a group setting. It's harrowing and gut wrenching but also relevant and necessary and eye opening. A true shock to the system.
Here are some quotes that really slapped me in the face...
"I do not tell her that I tried to stop it. Because I can't remember if I did."
"I know despair. Known it for years. I've introduced it to my family and spent holidays with it. I argue with it about how to load the dishwasher. I go for long walks at dusk and let it spew it's foul thoughts in my ears. I take it to the doctor when it's not feeling well. I ride home with it after every show I do. Especially the good ones. That's when despair really likes to be there for me. To remind me it was just a fluke I thank despair for keeping me honest, for never lying to me. I take it to my place and offer it a nightcap. I fuck it feel better. I wake up a bitter man."
"The bell above the bar door jingles. I look over my shoulder to yell at Louis. But it's a woman. Alone. Jimmy changes the channel. I lock eyes with him in the mirror. I push my scotch away and take a sip of water instead."
“Let me be emphatically clear - They. Don't. Care. About. Us. People who live through sexual assault are a crash on the side of the road and the American media is nothing more than cars slowing down just long enough to take a peak, just long enough to take a picture before speeding off to their next fatality. A country that says 'Innocent until proven guilty' even though the proving of assault is nearly impossible. Tell me how you prove coercion? How you prove the difference between being hit on and being hunted? How you prove your arms were held down? Your body was touched? Your life was threatened if you ever told anyone? For people who have suffered violent sexual crimes, proof—the very act of proving—is more than just a burden. It is boundless bearing. An eternity of futility.”
“How can you go on living when you’re now being lived in? When you’ve been invaded?"
“I am in a body. It is not the one I came here with, but it is the one I’ll leave here in. I will take care of it. It belongs to me now. My pain, I will take care of it. It belongs to me now. My heart, I will take care of it. It belongs to me now. My story, I will take care of it. It belongs to me now.”
August 11, 2018
FUCKED ME RIGHT UP WOW
Read
December 25, 2024umm i am AGHAST that the avg rating is currently lower than 4 stars, what are yall smoking bc this was the best book i've read this year! highly recommend the audiobook bc the production is excellent at immersing you into the story. the writing is sharp, raw, visceral, and made every character feel so human.
July 21, 2018
Interesting concept. Stylistically too odd for me.
September 5, 2022
any man is an incisive, poetic, and brutal account of sexual trauma (both individual and collective) and its aftermath. it's about an unknown serial rapist named maude, and several of the men whom she hurts. maude herself is a mysterious figure, because her individual motivations are less important than the toxic rape culture which plagues survivors.
the audiobook, narrated by a full cast, is superbly done. i had to pause and take a breather because i was absolutely enraged by the section that's a transcript of a talk show discussing the validity of male rape. the portrayal of rape culture is infuriatingly believable. exploitative sensationalist media does so much harm, often under the guise of "news" or raising awareness.
i think the mixed media format of the book amps up the intensity even further. there's internal-monologue-style narration of survivors, email correspondence, journal entires, IM logs between a man and the serial rapist, talk show and radio show transcripts, and more. this style makes the book compulsively readable and painfully realistic. i particularly liked the chapter of tweets that pop up when maude becomes a popular hashtag. kanye saying men can't be raped, amanda palmer using survivors' pain to promote her kickstarter, 44 taking the opportunity to tout the US government as the greatest. all staggeringly believable.
one thing i find odd is the inclusion of a trans man who is a victim of maude, but whose story is glossed over. we discover via tweets that he survives her assault and later kills himself. he is the only survivor who never tells any part of his story firsthand. i definitely see the value of including some discussion of transphobia within rape culture, but why is this character the least fleshed out of all?
that's a questionable choice, but otherwise i think any man is wonderfully written. it's an extremely tough subject, but tamblyn is right on. i particularly appreciate seeing the isolation that survivors experience, and the small amount of solace and support they find when they connect with one another. it's powerful to find someone who has a unique insight into your specific pain.
the audiobook, narrated by a full cast, is superbly done. i had to pause and take a breather because i was absolutely enraged by the section that's a transcript of a talk show discussing the validity of male rape. the portrayal of rape culture is infuriatingly believable. exploitative sensationalist media does so much harm, often under the guise of "news" or raising awareness.
i think the mixed media format of the book amps up the intensity even further. there's internal-monologue-style narration of survivors, email correspondence, journal entires, IM logs between a man and the serial rapist, talk show and radio show transcripts, and more. this style makes the book compulsively readable and painfully realistic. i particularly liked the chapter of tweets that pop up when maude becomes a popular hashtag. kanye saying men can't be raped, amanda palmer using survivors' pain to promote her kickstarter, 44 taking the opportunity to tout the US government as the greatest. all staggeringly believable.
one thing i find odd is the inclusion of a trans man who is a victim of maude, but whose story is glossed over. we discover via tweets that he survives her assault and later kills himself. he is the only survivor who never tells any part of his story firsthand. i definitely see the value of including some discussion of transphobia within rape culture, but why is this character the least fleshed out of all?
that's a questionable choice, but otherwise i think any man is wonderfully written. it's an extremely tough subject, but tamblyn is right on. i particularly appreciate seeing the isolation that survivors experience, and the small amount of solace and support they find when they connect with one another. it's powerful to find someone who has a unique insight into your specific pain.
July 5, 2018
It lacked insight. It felt... false. Snapshots, monologues, obvious social commentary and no real story. And it obscures the rapist. It turns the rapist into an almost cosmic figure. A ghost. To juxtapose the over-the-top nature of this rapist with realistic stories of trauma and survival... well, it doesn't quite work. The book felt more like a social media commentary and pop culture than a novel. Every character felt like a symbol. No one felt real, no matter how much they monologued. We rarely experience full conversations. Women as a whole feel obscured. Men feel like mouthpieces. The pacing is all over the place. The time jumps are jarring. And in the end, the killer just ends up being a mouthpiece for a very stereotypical approximation of female anger.
July 10, 2018
Unlike anything I’ve ever read!!! It was macabre, twisted and so unique. It’s not for the faint of heart. I loved the writing style, at one point I forgot this was fiction, needless to say I was very impressed with Amber Tamblyn.
October 20, 2023
Truly one of the most powerful and thought-provoking stories I've ever read. This a work of art. It's also extremely difficult to read, quite possibly the most difficult book I've read—and I've read A Little Life. But unlike that book, I felt that Any Man came across as more real. Not to say the events of A Little Life don't happen to people, but Yanagihara's intentions with that book are much different than Tamblyn's, and personally I found Tamblyn's even more effective and moving. Though this review isn't meant to compare the two books anyway, so let's move on.
Firstly, I must warn people that if they are interested in reading this book, PLEASE make sure you look into it and know what it's about before picking it up. I would be remiss if I didn't make it very clear to other readers that this book, while extremely well done and purposeful, is also very in your face with the many facets of sexual assault.
Additionally, the way it's written is meant to evoke the feeling, at times, of what it is to be a survivor of sexual assault in all its different forms. Tamblyn does such a good job with portraying various survivors' reactions that at times I had to stop myself from reading on for a bit to recover.
She also uses artistic choices to blend the horrors of everyday life with the horrors of the genre to create a sort of otherworldly, monstrous look at perpetrators of sexual violence. The imagery at times is disturbing and may make your skin crawl—that is her intention.
If you do choose to read this book, I cannot recommend the audiobook highly enough. This is arguably the most well produce audiobook I've ever listened to. It's immersive, which you could argue is what makes the reading experience even more visceral; and that is, again, quite disturbing.
The story is a mosaic of voices, of men who are assaulted by a serial rapist—a female serial rapist. Tamblyn uses this less common story, of men being the victims of assault, to examine how we as a society, through conversations, through the news, through social media, think and talk about sexual assault. She flips the more common script on its head and with it creates a powerful and evocative story. She holds up a mirror to our world and forces the reader to take a long, hard look.
I know for a fact I won't stop thinking about this book for a long time. It does what good fiction is meant to do: challenges me to re-consider my views, my responses, my gut reactions through creative, fresh prose and storytelling.
One of the best books I've read that I don't know if I can ever read again, and one that I can't actively recommend to anyone.
Firstly, I must warn people that if they are interested in reading this book, PLEASE make sure you look into it and know what it's about before picking it up. I would be remiss if I didn't make it very clear to other readers that this book, while extremely well done and purposeful, is also very in your face with the many facets of sexual assault.
Additionally, the way it's written is meant to evoke the feeling, at times, of what it is to be a survivor of sexual assault in all its different forms. Tamblyn does such a good job with portraying various survivors' reactions that at times I had to stop myself from reading on for a bit to recover.
She also uses artistic choices to blend the horrors of everyday life with the horrors of the genre to create a sort of otherworldly, monstrous look at perpetrators of sexual violence. The imagery at times is disturbing and may make your skin crawl—that is her intention.
If you do choose to read this book, I cannot recommend the audiobook highly enough. This is arguably the most well produce audiobook I've ever listened to. It's immersive, which you could argue is what makes the reading experience even more visceral; and that is, again, quite disturbing.
The story is a mosaic of voices, of men who are assaulted by a serial rapist—a female serial rapist. Tamblyn uses this less common story, of men being the victims of assault, to examine how we as a society, through conversations, through the news, through social media, think and talk about sexual assault. She flips the more common script on its head and with it creates a powerful and evocative story. She holds up a mirror to our world and forces the reader to take a long, hard look.
I know for a fact I won't stop thinking about this book for a long time. It does what good fiction is meant to do: challenges me to re-consider my views, my responses, my gut reactions through creative, fresh prose and storytelling.
One of the best books I've read that I don't know if I can ever read again, and one that I can't actively recommend to anyone.
May 6, 2018
You ever start reading a book and know immediately that it was going to be something different than what you've ever read before? That you know you're going to get gut punched and deepen that line between your eyes from the intense face you make as you turn each page? Yeah, that's what happened here.
Amber Tamblyn uses a variety of writing styles here to bring you a story that's not about the victimizer, but about the victims. She takes us deep into their minds in the aftermath of their horrible incidents and we see how they try to feel whole again. We are taken into their random thoughts... how these situations occur and then she takes us further in showing how society and the media help to perpetuate the rape culture in America. All of this is done in a various styles: poetry, tweets, chat boxes, interviews, journal entries, emails.... and every single one of these hits you right in the solar plexus.
We hear ALL the time how a woman shouldn't have worn that short skirt or dressed herself up like that if she didn't want the attention. How she was just asking for it. In this novel, we hear about how he shouldn't have gotten drunk at the bar while his wife was at home with the kids. What was he thinking? STOP VICTIMIZING THE VICTIMS FURTHER. How many of you think men CAN'T get raped? Why do we, as a society, blame the victim, use them as the story of the day and then toss them aside when something more horrifying comes alone?
This book puts you into the mind of the survivors. How they will have to live with this for the rest of their lives and how by using each other as a support group, you can eventually, hopefully, more forward. I went through a roller coaster of emotions as I read this. It hit me HARD and left quite the imprint.
Equally horrifying, eye opening and heart breaking, this book is INTENSE. Tamblyn clearly knows how to write and this debut will leave you reeling. This won't be an easy read for some readers, but it's a necessary one.
★★★★★
July 29, 2022
Wow. This will be on my favorites of the year list, undoubtedly.
This novel was gruesomely brutal, with gorgeous writing, and thought-provoking commentary.
I loved the insightful inner-monologues of the male victims which was somehow both poetic and straight-forward in its rawness. The mixed media made it feel relevant and very "now." The AUDIOBOOK. My LORT the audio was incredible, featuring a full cast and the author herself as the villain.
The perpetrator of these horrendous crimes surprisingly has very little to say, as the focus of the narrative is on her male victims. By turning the tables on the typical serial assailant trope, Tamblyn challenges the widely held beliefs of the public at large in regard to how we treat victims. This also allows a discussion about male fragility and the patriarchy.
As a woman, I was appalled by what this woman was doing to these men. Tamblyn wrote them in a way that really made them feel relatable to me. But at the same time, there was a little voice in the back of my head that was saying, "You see? You see what it's like to be vulnerable? You see what it's like to be blamed?" It split me in two.
Unfortunately, this is one of those books that will preach to the choir. The people who REALLY NEED to read this won't be interested in it. But I'm going to do my best to push it on everyone I can henceforth!
Definitely check trigger warnings for this one, and listen to the audio if you have access to it. I found it on Scribd. 5 stars, all day, everyday. Yes. yes. yes. yes. yes!
This novel was gruesomely brutal, with gorgeous writing, and thought-provoking commentary.
I loved the insightful inner-monologues of the male victims which was somehow both poetic and straight-forward in its rawness. The mixed media made it feel relevant and very "now." The AUDIOBOOK. My LORT the audio was incredible, featuring a full cast and the author herself as the villain.
The perpetrator of these horrendous crimes surprisingly has very little to say, as the focus of the narrative is on her male victims. By turning the tables on the typical serial assailant trope, Tamblyn challenges the widely held beliefs of the public at large in regard to how we treat victims. This also allows a discussion about male fragility and the patriarchy.
As a woman, I was appalled by what this woman was doing to these men. Tamblyn wrote them in a way that really made them feel relatable to me. But at the same time, there was a little voice in the back of my head that was saying, "You see? You see what it's like to be vulnerable? You see what it's like to be blamed?" It split me in two.
Unfortunately, this is one of those books that will preach to the choir. The people who REALLY NEED to read this won't be interested in it. But I'm going to do my best to push it on everyone I can henceforth!
Definitely check trigger warnings for this one, and listen to the audio if you have access to it. I found it on Scribd. 5 stars, all day, everyday. Yes. yes. yes. yes. yes!
April 11, 2023
Ok so I’m mindblown. This story was very powerful and entertaining. The audiobook was exceptional. All the narrators were perfect. I absolutely loved the plot and all the POVs in this story.
I just personally didn’t like the ending so I knocked off a star.
Will definitely recommend.
I just personally didn’t like the ending so I knocked off a star.
Will definitely recommend.
March 7, 2022
Just wow. Experimental, poetic, brutal, and raw; Any Man is the most unique story I’ve ever read. Hands down.
August 18, 2023
ANY MAN by Amber Tamblyn
Other Books I Enjoyed by This Author: First one for me
Release Date: June 28th, 2018
General Genre: Horror/Thriller
Sub-Genre/Themes: Genre blending, Epistolary, SA, Serial Assault, Violence, Trauma, Suicide, Therapy
Writing Style: Lyrical, experimental, Multiple POVs, Epistolary (emails, texts, chats, documents, transcripts)
What You Need to Know: This is a story about the male victims of a serial rapist known only as "Maude". So just know going into this book that the subject matter is graphic and intense. Also carve out the time to read this book cover to cover because once you start, you won't be able to put it down.
My Reading Experience: I was unprepared for the emotional weight this book packs into its pages. I also didn't expect the experimental, unconventional writing style and format. All of the poetry, texts, emails, documents, chat threads, web browser histories, letters, and journal entries peppered throughout the traditional narrative told in multiple POVs was groundbreaking for me. The page flew by! (I was on my Kindle and it was just like, tap tap, tap, tap, and before I knew it, I was 30% in, 68%, 75%, 90%, done)
There are a few main characters, men who were assaulted by Maude. Their individual response to trauma is documented in different ways. Sometimes the men are advocating for themselves and sometimes they're slipping through the cracks of mental health and stability.
It's extremely emotional. There are several scenes--intimate expressions of grief and processing trauma where the words on the page light up like neon signs. I could have highlighted whole sections of text.
A difficult, disturbing book to read, not really enjoyed, but fascinated--riveted--engaged--invested.
Final Recommendation: Ray Bradbury once said (basically and in my own words) that we don't show up to a book for the plot or to know what's going to happen. We show up for the author's asides. What they want to tell us through the story. Amber Tamblyn says exactly what she wants to say loud and clear. Message totally received. I'm thankful I read this on the heels of the Barbie movie--felt like a companion piece in regards to a monologue toward the end of the book.
Comps: I've never really read anything like it in terms of writing style and format, but I read it like I read YELLOWFACE this year. Hard and fast.
Other Books I Enjoyed by This Author: First one for me
Release Date: June 28th, 2018
General Genre: Horror/Thriller
Sub-Genre/Themes: Genre blending, Epistolary, SA, Serial Assault, Violence, Trauma, Suicide, Therapy
Writing Style: Lyrical, experimental, Multiple POVs, Epistolary (emails, texts, chats, documents, transcripts)
What You Need to Know: This is a story about the male victims of a serial rapist known only as "Maude". So just know going into this book that the subject matter is graphic and intense. Also carve out the time to read this book cover to cover because once you start, you won't be able to put it down.
My Reading Experience: I was unprepared for the emotional weight this book packs into its pages. I also didn't expect the experimental, unconventional writing style and format. All of the poetry, texts, emails, documents, chat threads, web browser histories, letters, and journal entries peppered throughout the traditional narrative told in multiple POVs was groundbreaking for me. The page flew by! (I was on my Kindle and it was just like, tap tap, tap, tap, and before I knew it, I was 30% in, 68%, 75%, 90%, done)
There are a few main characters, men who were assaulted by Maude. Their individual response to trauma is documented in different ways. Sometimes the men are advocating for themselves and sometimes they're slipping through the cracks of mental health and stability.
It's extremely emotional. There are several scenes--intimate expressions of grief and processing trauma where the words on the page light up like neon signs. I could have highlighted whole sections of text.
A difficult, disturbing book to read, not really enjoyed, but fascinated--riveted--engaged--invested.
Final Recommendation: Ray Bradbury once said (basically and in my own words) that we don't show up to a book for the plot or to know what's going to happen. We show up for the author's asides. What they want to tell us through the story. Amber Tamblyn says exactly what she wants to say loud and clear. Message totally received. I'm thankful I read this on the heels of the Barbie movie--felt like a companion piece in regards to a monologue toward the end of the book.
Comps: I've never really read anything like it in terms of writing style and format, but I read it like I read YELLOWFACE this year. Hard and fast.
July 1, 2018
This is the best book I’ll never read again. It took all the feelings of guilt and shame of being a survivor of sexual assault into words that I hadn’t been able to find myself. It was insanely triggering. I broke down numerous times. But that’s ok, because the journey I went on was like a cleansing fire. I suffered and so did these characters, and Tamblyn shows the very difficult task of trying to move past the stereotype of being a man who was raped. I can’t thank the author enough of this amazing, powerful, and important book.
October 19, 2018
This genre-busting debut novel was surprising from beginning to end. A female serial rapist known only as Maude preys upon unsuspecting men, boldly reframing sexual assault, imagining a male-victim, female-attacker point of view, the better to defamiliarize and highlight our contemporary rape culture. We see each man struggling with what has happened to him personally, each with a very different voice--and then the media circus begins, adding its own brand of vicious ugliness to the suffering. It's a scathing portrait of American celebrity culture and the way in which it transmutes human tragedy into a squalid orgy where victims are forgotten as likes and shares swirl and ‘news’ becomes a lurid feast.
The section of tweets is particularly devastating, as Tamblyn uses actual cultural figures to create a realistic sequence in which the content goes from sympathy for the men (few likes) to needing to be seen showing sympathy to just who can use their pain to get more attention and sell something. It’s a blistering criticism, as is the use of the men, especially Donald, the first victim, who agrees to be interviewed in hopes of helping other men, and the hideous way his vulnerability is trampled in the public arena.
I admit, when I heard that Amber Tamblyn was writing a novel about a female serial rapist, I was concerned to say the least—not wanting to see some cheap rape revenge fantasy. Any Man is anything but cheap--raw, passionate, sophisticated, artistically bravura. The book’s furious empathy is for victims of sexual assault, and especially the way they are futher assaulted and depersonalized by sensationalist news and social media. Making men the victims widens the discussion, and defamiliarizes the narrative.
Stylistically, the book is a stunner, a real highwire act as it moves between monologue, diary, verse, interview, online searches, opinion pieces and those blistering tweets, an explosive, shapeshifting piece of literary real estate. This astonishing novel steps aside for nothing, takes every risk and succeeds. Don't miss this one.
The section of tweets is particularly devastating, as Tamblyn uses actual cultural figures to create a realistic sequence in which the content goes from sympathy for the men (few likes) to needing to be seen showing sympathy to just who can use their pain to get more attention and sell something. It’s a blistering criticism, as is the use of the men, especially Donald, the first victim, who agrees to be interviewed in hopes of helping other men, and the hideous way his vulnerability is trampled in the public arena.
I admit, when I heard that Amber Tamblyn was writing a novel about a female serial rapist, I was concerned to say the least—not wanting to see some cheap rape revenge fantasy. Any Man is anything but cheap--raw, passionate, sophisticated, artistically bravura. The book’s furious empathy is for victims of sexual assault, and especially the way they are futher assaulted and depersonalized by sensationalist news and social media. Making men the victims widens the discussion, and defamiliarizes the narrative.
Stylistically, the book is a stunner, a real highwire act as it moves between monologue, diary, verse, interview, online searches, opinion pieces and those blistering tweets, an explosive, shapeshifting piece of literary real estate. This astonishing novel steps aside for nothing, takes every risk and succeeds. Don't miss this one.
May 28, 2024
I really wanted to like this book. In theory, I do. But the actual execution of the book didn’t work for me.
I felt that Tamblyn tried too hard to be relevant and current. You can tell by her writing style that she is a poet, and I just don’t think it worked for this novel. Each victim was intended to have his own voice and narrative, but all the voices and stories blended together.
I think Tamblyn intended for this to be a subtle social commentary but the commentary screamed from the pages.
I did enjoy the Twitter section - I think this was a good way of showing how violence like this is glamorized and portrayed in the media, and which sensationalized stories truly garner the public’s attention. But the rest - especially the final narrative - fell flat for me.
I felt that Tamblyn tried too hard to be relevant and current. You can tell by her writing style that she is a poet, and I just don’t think it worked for this novel. Each victim was intended to have his own voice and narrative, but all the voices and stories blended together.
I think Tamblyn intended for this to be a subtle social commentary but the commentary screamed from the pages.
I did enjoy the Twitter section - I think this was a good way of showing how violence like this is glamorized and portrayed in the media, and which sensationalized stories truly garner the public’s attention. But the rest - especially the final narrative - fell flat for me.
September 7, 2022
Will never forget this book as long as I live.
February 9, 2024
Trigger Warning: Rape
من هیچوقت آدمی نیستم که اول ریویوم تریگر ورنینگ رو بنویسم و اگرم خیلی شدید باشه صرفا مینویسم که چکش ولی لطفا، لطفا، لطفا بهش توجه کنید.
این کتاب وحشتناک سنگین و پر از خشونته.
اگه خدایی نکرده توی موقعیت تجاوز بودید، یا به کسی نزدیک بودید که این تجربه رو داشته یا به هر شیوهای حساسیت شدیدی به این قضیه دارید، با آمادگی وارد این کتاب بشید.
لطفا، سلامت روانتون رو در نظر بگیرید...
قلم این نویسنده اینقدر قوی بود که با کمترین کلمات، باعث میشد تکتک حسای اون شخصیت و عمق تاریکی و وحشتناکی اون اتفاق رو درک کرد...یه حالت شاعرانهی سیاهی توی قلمش بود که هر ضربه رو چندین برابر قوی میکرد. من خیلی جاهای این کتاب کوتاه مجبور میشدم کتابو ببندم و نفس عمیق بکشم و چند دقیقهای ازش فاصله بگیرم.
هیچوقت کتابی نخوندم که اینجوری دربارهی تجاوز حرف بزنه.
از دید چندین مرد با شغل و سن و اخلاقیات مختلف که همه قربانی یه نفر بودن.
کسایی که مجبور بودن با بدنشون و ذهنشون و دیدگاه جامعه زندگی کنن.
"My name is Donald Ellis and I am not a survivor of rape. I did not survive. I perished before pushing through. I had to end before I could begin again. My name is Donald Ellis and I am not a victim of rape. I am an assault’s legacy. An embassy of expirations. I am the remnant of memory. Collateral debris. I am an earned epilogue."
و اینکه داشت نشون میداد با اینکه تجاوز یکی از شخصیترین و مخربترین جرمهاست...جرمیه که بهش به اندازهی کافی توجه نمیشه.
کسی که این اتفاق براش افتاده، با حالش، با ترامایی که براش مونده، با زندگیای که باید از نو بسازه و رابطهای که باید از اول با بدن خودش شروع کنه، باید سعی کنه "اثبات" کنه که این اتفاق وحشتناک واقعا افتاده و خیلی وقتا...باور نشه!
"We are a country that capitalizes on the fetishizing of felonies. A country that says “innocent until proven guilty,” even though the proving of assault is nearly impossible. Tell me how you prove coercion? How you prove the difference between being hit on and hunted? How you prove your arms were held down? Your body was touched? Your life was threatened if you ever told anyone? For people who have suffered violent sexual crimes, proof—the very act of proving—is more than just a burden. It is boundless bearing. An eternity of futility."
فکر میکنم اینکه امبر تمبلین راه برعکسو رفت و به جای روایت داستان میلیونها زنی که توی دنیا این تجربه رو دارن، داستان مردهایی رو نوشت که مورد تجاوز قرار میگیرن خیلی تصمیم هوشمندانهای بود.
اولا به خاطر اینکه وقتی مردا این کتابو میخونن و درد همجنسهای خودشون و حسشون رو میخونن...میتونن خیلی بهتر درک کنن چرا ما زنها دائم با این ترس زندگی میکنیم.
چرا توی خیابون دائم پشتمونو نگاه میکنیم. چرا گاهی میریم اون سمت کوچه که از جلوی یه گروه مرد رد نشیم. چرا لباسمونو با وسواس پایین میکشیم...و چه دردی داره که باور نشیم.
و دومین هدفشم اینکه...مبارزه با استیگمای "مردها نمیتونن مورد تجاوز قرار بگیرن".
یه تیکه از این کتاب یه حالت تاک شوئه که توش چندتا زن، دقیقا کاری رو میکنن که یه سری مردا با زنهای مورد تجاوز قرار گرفته میکنن؛ وانمود کردن اینکه دارن بزرگش میکنن و حتما خودشون خواستن، شاید مست بودن، خودشون بودن که ار خطر دور نشدن...
و با اینکه از اون تیکههای کتاب بود که حس میکنم میخوام جیغ بکشم...نوشتنش ضروریه.
و من واقعا ممنونم که این کتاب وجود داره.
من هیچوقت آدمی نیستم که اول ریویوم تریگر ورنینگ رو بنویسم و اگرم خیلی شدید باشه صرفا مینویسم که چکش ولی لطفا، لطفا، لطفا بهش توجه کنید.
این کتاب وحشتناک سنگین و پر از خشونته.
اگه خدایی نکرده توی موقعیت تجاوز بودید، یا به کسی نزدیک بودید که این تجربه رو داشته یا به هر شیوهای حساسیت شدیدی به این قضیه دارید، با آمادگی وارد این کتاب بشید.
لطفا، سلامت روانتون رو در نظر بگیرید...
قلم این نویسنده اینقدر قوی بود که با کمترین کلمات، باعث میشد تکتک حسای اون شخصیت و عمق تاریکی و وحشتناکی اون اتفاق رو درک کرد...یه حالت شاعرانهی سیاهی توی قلمش بود که هر ضربه رو چندین برابر قوی میکرد. من خیلی جاهای این کتاب کوتاه مجبور میشدم کتابو ببندم و نفس عمیق بکشم و چند دقیقهای ازش فاصله بگیرم.
هیچوقت کتابی نخوندم که اینجوری دربارهی تجاوز حرف بزنه.
از دید چندین مرد با شغل و سن و اخلاقیات مختلف که همه قربانی یه نفر بودن.
کسایی که مجبور بودن با بدنشون و ذهنشون و دیدگاه جامعه زندگی کنن.
"My name is Donald Ellis and I am not a survivor of rape. I did not survive. I perished before pushing through. I had to end before I could begin again. My name is Donald Ellis and I am not a victim of rape. I am an assault’s legacy. An embassy of expirations. I am the remnant of memory. Collateral debris. I am an earned epilogue."
و اینکه داشت نشون میداد با اینکه تجاوز یکی از شخصیترین و مخربترین جرمهاست...جرمیه که بهش به اندازهی کافی توجه نمیشه.
کسی که این اتفاق براش افتاده، با حالش، با ترامایی که براش مونده، با زندگیای که باید از نو بسازه و رابطهای که باید از اول با بدن خودش شروع کنه، باید سعی کنه "اثبات" کنه که این اتفاق وحشتناک واقعا افتاده و خیلی وقتا...باور نشه!
"We are a country that capitalizes on the fetishizing of felonies. A country that says “innocent until proven guilty,” even though the proving of assault is nearly impossible. Tell me how you prove coercion? How you prove the difference between being hit on and hunted? How you prove your arms were held down? Your body was touched? Your life was threatened if you ever told anyone? For people who have suffered violent sexual crimes, proof—the very act of proving—is more than just a burden. It is boundless bearing. An eternity of futility."
فکر میکنم اینکه امبر تمبلین راه برعکسو رفت و به جای روایت داستان میلیونها زنی که توی دنیا این تجربه رو دارن، داستان مردهایی رو نوشت که مورد تجاوز قرار میگیرن خیلی تصمیم هوشمندانهای بود.
اولا به خاطر اینکه وقتی مردا این کتابو میخونن و درد همجنسهای خودشون و حسشون رو میخونن...میتونن خیلی بهتر درک کنن چرا ما زنها دائم با این ترس زندگی میکنیم.
چرا توی خیابون دائم پشتمونو نگاه میکنیم. چرا گاهی میریم اون سمت کوچه که از جلوی یه گروه مرد رد نشیم. چرا لباسمونو با وسواس پایین میکشیم...و چه دردی داره که باور نشیم.
و دومین هدفشم اینکه...مبارزه با استیگمای "مردها نمیتونن مورد تجاوز قرار بگیرن".
یه تیکه از این کتاب یه حالت تاک شوئه که توش چندتا زن، دقیقا کاری رو میکنن که یه سری مردا با زنهای مورد تجاوز قرار گرفته میکنن؛ وانمود کردن اینکه دارن بزرگش میکنن و حتما خودشون خواستن، شاید مست بودن، خودشون بودن که ار خطر دور نشدن...
و با اینکه از اون تیکههای کتاب بود که حس میکنم میخوام جیغ بکشم...نوشتنش ضروریه.
و من واقعا ممنونم که این کتاب وجود داره.
June 26, 2018
6 out of 5.
I read and loved Tamblyn's Dark Sparkler a few years ago, and I was excited to see what would happen when she turned her attentions to full-length prose. ANY MAN does not disappoint.
Fair warning: this book is fucking brutal. If you have a penis, you're going to squirm. And that's kind of the point. Tamblyn takes the potentially-cringeworthy concept of a female rapist raping men and makes it potent because it doesn't so much focus on the perp as it does the victims. The survivors. The media frenzy. It gives voice to a male victim not because men need another place to be represented but because sexual assault happens across gender lines and one way, potentially, to get a man to understand the reality of surviving sexual assault... is to put him in the place of a man who has survived it. In that way, Tamblyn's book is critical because it believes so wholeheartedly in the most fundamental power of art: to awaken minds by evoking empathy.
Plus, Tamblyn's a killer writer. Crossing forms and styles, she makes each voice unique and distinct and the book almost compels you to read it. I had plans on this Saturday evening and instead I sat home and read the whole damn thing. And while I crossed my legs a couple times, I also moved quickly beyond the physical OOF of it all and into a space that I realize I'd never been before, a new understanding of the mind of a survivor.
By all rights this should not only be an instant classic, it should be added to every high school reading curriculum. It should be the OneBook for the whole country. A dumptruck full of copies should be left on the South Lawn of the White House. Read this book, now, when the minds it can change might be the ones to tip the scales.
I read and loved Tamblyn's Dark Sparkler a few years ago, and I was excited to see what would happen when she turned her attentions to full-length prose. ANY MAN does not disappoint.
Fair warning: this book is fucking brutal. If you have a penis, you're going to squirm. And that's kind of the point. Tamblyn takes the potentially-cringeworthy concept of a female rapist raping men and makes it potent because it doesn't so much focus on the perp as it does the victims. The survivors. The media frenzy. It gives voice to a male victim not because men need another place to be represented but because sexual assault happens across gender lines and one way, potentially, to get a man to understand the reality of surviving sexual assault... is to put him in the place of a man who has survived it. In that way, Tamblyn's book is critical because it believes so wholeheartedly in the most fundamental power of art: to awaken minds by evoking empathy.
Plus, Tamblyn's a killer writer. Crossing forms and styles, she makes each voice unique and distinct and the book almost compels you to read it. I had plans on this Saturday evening and instead I sat home and read the whole damn thing. And while I crossed my legs a couple times, I also moved quickly beyond the physical OOF of it all and into a space that I realize I'd never been before, a new understanding of the mind of a survivor.
By all rights this should not only be an instant classic, it should be added to every high school reading curriculum. It should be the OneBook for the whole country. A dumptruck full of copies should be left on the South Lawn of the White House. Read this book, now, when the minds it can change might be the ones to tip the scales.
June 5, 2023
Yes, I am still breathing.
No, I am not living.
How can something so ugly be written so stunningly. It was relentless in the way it hit me. The whole time I felt this heavy weight on my chest and uneasiness in my stomach. I've not been let go. I'll need Anya Forger to heal from this. But at the same time, I wanna read this again.
P.s. The audiobook was perfect.
No, I am not living.
How can something so ugly be written so stunningly. It was relentless in the way it hit me. The whole time I felt this heavy weight on my chest and uneasiness in my stomach. I've not been let go. I'll need Anya Forger to heal from this. But at the same time, I wanna read this again.
P.s. The audiobook was perfect.
August 4, 2023
Goddamn. This book was something I’ll never forget. It was beautiful with the poetry and sad at the same time.
August 20, 2018
DNF. This was SO florid and "literary"--just not my style. It lost me in the first few pages at "A bird the size of the memory of a bird passes over like a spider falling perpendicularly," but I forged on for a while to see if it could engage me. It didn't. People who like this kind of writing style will probably eat this up, but it doesn't work for me.
September 18, 2021
Wow.
This was horrifying and amazing and beautiful.
I absolutely loved it!
Cannot wait to discuss this next month at one of my book clubs!!!
This was horrifying and amazing and beautiful.
I absolutely loved it!
Cannot wait to discuss this next month at one of my book clubs!!!
February 19, 2024
"when we become aware, we become responsible."
thought provoking, poetic, devastating, gut-wrenching, breathtaking. that's Any Man by Amber Tamblyn!
the story revolves around 5 men who are the victims of a mysterious serial rapist female whom the media call the "Maude". this has great commentaries about how the society treats rape victims and how you always have to prove that something bad has happened to you. okay you proved it? take the blame for it now! and why many victims stay silent and never speak of the truth about what had happened to them for fears of how they're gonna be judged, how people will treat them differently and how that single act is going to affect them for the rest of their lives and how they'll probably never going to stop living it, over and over again.
there's this one scene where some guys are sitting in a bar drinking and talking about this offender when a woman walks in and suddenly they all stop talking and switching their drinks to water. i don't know how to describe that scene other than saying it was utterly powerful. that's how women feel and are afraid every. second. of. their. lives. and that's just sad but undeniably true.
btw, i almost forgot, the last sentence of the book was just the best.
the audiobook has a full cast and it's amazing. i highly recommend listening to it on audio.
these are some of the quotes that absolutely wrecked me:
"the pain. the pain. please. my bones break each other, within."
"i do not tell her that i tried to stop it, because i can't remember if i did."
"perhaps donald once dreamed of becoming a famous novelist or poet. donald now dreams of nothing. for he is a no one."
"how can you go on living when you're now being lived in? when you've been invaded? how can you tell a joke and enjoy laughter without hearing the one laugh that owns every root in you now?"
"how can you end your own suffering, without ending completely? how can you accept touch? or walk through your life, a lived wound, forever avoiding some terrible, inevitable wind."
"the parallel me had never been raped. had never been touched. had never been so obscenely violated. the parallel me had no restrictions. still enjoyed sunlight. the parallel me had a future that couldn't be darkened by his past."
"i was violently assaulted and left for dead behind a dumpster. no, worse–i was left for living."
cw: rape, sexual assault, sexual violence, suicide.
June 17, 2025
4.5 stars.
I really enjoyed how the story was written, tho towards the end it did lose my interest a bit, reason for not being a full five star.
Definitely recommend this one, but please look up trigger warnings if you need them.
I really enjoyed how the story was written, tho towards the end it did lose my interest a bit, reason for not being a full five star.
Definitely recommend this one, but please look up trigger warnings if you need them.
August 7, 2018
A haunting & riveting read. ANY MAN is an intense look at the aftermath of male rape.
This is a short read, more so bordering on novella level, & the writing style is quite eccentric. Poetry, prose & social media commentary (mostly Twitter & OkCupid) combine to tell the story of 5 survivors. It kind of annoyed me that there were no chapters marked with who's POV it was, but each character is so unique that it's easy to distinguish their voices. I actually wasn't sure if I would be finishing the book because it took some time to get used to the style, but am glad I didn't give up on it. It's clear this book has an agenda, especially when you see the hashtags & Nancy Grace resemblance. Media & rape culture at its finest. Cleverly written, ANY MAN will make you think, will make you feel, & will perhaps make those who are contributing to the shameful tactics of victim blaming ("But men can't get raped!" & other nonsense) see life through another's lenses.
I also want to note I really respect Tamblyn's decision for Maude's intention- it's not as simple as you may think. The fact that she didn't choose the easy way out, or provide a simplistic one-dimensional answer to make things easier to swallow makes this debut even more harsh & raw. She doesn't provide a way for readers to feel empathy for the perp (as they very well shouldn't, but it happens), thus solely focusing on the survivors. Interestingly enough, Tamblyn chooses to not specifically seek out any "type" of man. ANY MAN is filled with society's clichés, yet doesn't rely on those clichés to set the storyline forward. Although the attacks are a huge part of the story, we begin to see the MCs start the beginning stages of healing. Told in short chapters, I flew through ANY MAN in a couple of sittings. I know this will leave a lasting impact on me & I am looking forward to Tamblyn's next work. Also, apparently this is classified as thriller? It is very pseudo-thriller in the sense that the hunt for Maude is on & leaves things with no resolution, but that's the extent of it. I haven't had the chance to listen to the audiobook version, but I imagine that it is even more moving to hear the narratives come to life, so please pick that one up if you can.
A necessary & highly recommended read.
"I am in a body. It is not the one
I came here with, but it is the one
I'll leave here in.
I will take care of it. It belongs to me now.
My pain, I will take care of it. It belongs to me now.
My heart, I will take care of it. It belongs to me now.
My story, I will take care of it. It belongs to me now."
This is a short read, more so bordering on novella level, & the writing style is quite eccentric. Poetry, prose & social media commentary (mostly Twitter & OkCupid) combine to tell the story of 5 survivors. It kind of annoyed me that there were no chapters marked with who's POV it was, but each character is so unique that it's easy to distinguish their voices. I actually wasn't sure if I would be finishing the book because it took some time to get used to the style, but am glad I didn't give up on it. It's clear this book has an agenda, especially when you see the hashtags & Nancy Grace resemblance. Media & rape culture at its finest. Cleverly written, ANY MAN will make you think, will make you feel, & will perhaps make those who are contributing to the shameful tactics of victim blaming ("But men can't get raped!" & other nonsense) see life through another's lenses.
I also want to note I really respect Tamblyn's decision for Maude's intention- it's not as simple as you may think. The fact that she didn't choose the easy way out, or provide a simplistic one-dimensional answer to make things easier to swallow makes this debut even more harsh & raw. She doesn't provide a way for readers to feel empathy for the perp (as they very well shouldn't, but it happens), thus solely focusing on the survivors. Interestingly enough, Tamblyn chooses to not specifically seek out any "type" of man. ANY MAN is filled with society's clichés, yet doesn't rely on those clichés to set the storyline forward. Although the attacks are a huge part of the story, we begin to see the MCs start the beginning stages of healing. Told in short chapters, I flew through ANY MAN in a couple of sittings. I know this will leave a lasting impact on me & I am looking forward to Tamblyn's next work. Also, apparently this is classified as thriller? It is very pseudo-thriller in the sense that the hunt for Maude is on & leaves things with no resolution, but that's the extent of it. I haven't had the chance to listen to the audiobook version, but I imagine that it is even more moving to hear the narratives come to life, so please pick that one up if you can.
A necessary & highly recommended read.
"I am in a body. It is not the one
I came here with, but it is the one
I'll leave here in.
I will take care of it. It belongs to me now.
My pain, I will take care of it. It belongs to me now.
My heart, I will take care of it. It belongs to me now.
My story, I will take care of it. It belongs to me now."
July 9, 2023
this felt like 2 stars for a while, but i really appreciated the chapter with tweets, which you really have to pay attention carefully to in order to see how brilliantly it shows how social media and news reports work, how fast people move on from things that actually matter, and how things can always circle back to consumerism no matter how intense or serious a situation gets. i also appreciated the discussions about how hard it is to get people charged for SA and all the things a victim has to do just for people to believe them or "prove" that they were actually assaulted. the system is fucked and this book definitely shows that. it also definitely made me uncomfortable several times so i guess it did its job in that sense as well.
i just wasn't a fan of some of the formatting choices, the use of the R word, and a few other things that i don't feel like thinking about anymore cause my brain hurts after reading this and i just want to be done with this book for good lol
i just wasn't a fan of some of the formatting choices, the use of the R word, and a few other things that i don't feel like thinking about anymore cause my brain hurts after reading this and i just want to be done with this book for good lol
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