What do you think?
Rate this book
Mýtus o Marsu a Venuši
Kniha se kriticky vyrovnává s rozšířenými zjednodušujícími představami o genderu a komunikaci mezi muži a ženami. Odrážejí se v postojích k případům sexuálního násilí, v očekáváních spjatých se studijními výkony, v diskriminaci na trhu práce a na pracovišti atd. To, co můžeme číst v populární literatuře, je však často daleko od pravdy. Mezi muži a ženami lze nalézt stejné množství podobností jako rozdílů ve způsobu komunikace, v souvislosti s konkrétními sociálními rolemi a vztahy. Cameronová kriticky reaguje na biologická (evolucionistická) vysvětlení genderových rozdílů i na teorii, že k systematicky odlišnému užívání jejich jazyka chlapců a dívek vede socializace v dětství. Ukazuje, že existující jazykové rozdíly často vycházejí především z potřeby konstruovat vlastní pojetí identity. Motivace jsou přitom nesmírně rozmanité a složité. Je třeba začít o genderu přemýšlet mnohem komplexněji a opustit zavádějící populární mýty a stereotypy.
248 pages, Paperback
First published January 6, 2007
About the author
Deborah Cameron
37 books81 followersDeborah Cameron, is a feminist linguist, who holds the Rupert Murdoch Professorship in Language and Communication at Worcester College, Oxford University. She is mainly interested in sociolinguistics and linguistic anthropology. A large part of her academic research is focused on the relationship of language to gender and sexuality.Cameron wrote the book The Myth of Mars And Venus: Do Men and Women Really Speak Different Languages?, published in 2007
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 30 of 59 reviews
November 5, 2008
No question, this is an important book. The tide of sociobiological bullshit shows no sign of ebbing. Cameron rips apart the nonsense that passes for popular science on the issue of gender difference. How many decades can writers push a conventional and convenient sexist worldview, and call themselves bold seekers after truth? This book is a bit short, and so light on detail, but it's solid on what it covers, and sharp as a knife.
March 14, 2016
Gender essentialism- the idea that men are men and women are women, and never the twain shall meet- is one of the base problems in the lives of everyone human. Women, men and especially those of us who float somewhere between the two essentialist poles are badly served by the conviction- in politics, economics, civil rights, and everything else- that gender is perforce binary.
The "Mars and Venus" trope accepts this premise, and the idea that men and women are by our very natures utterly incomprehensible to each other.
This book proves them wrong, in a short, very readable, and generously documented way. Although succinct, it is also quite thorough, which I (having taken a class in rhetoric and sex roles over 35 years ago) appreciated.
Cameron points out that despite the brouhaha around gender differences in communication, in actuality there is far, far more overlap between the genders than differences. men and woman not only do understand each other almost all the time, but can be proven to do so.
Personally, I found it interesting to learn which of the studies I read in that long-ago class were supported by more recent work, and which were not.
Not only is this relevant to most of our personal lives, but also to public policy when it comes to dealing with sexual violence and other sexual harassment.
Very recommended!
The "Mars and Venus" trope accepts this premise, and the idea that men and women are by our very natures utterly incomprehensible to each other.
This book proves them wrong, in a short, very readable, and generously documented way. Although succinct, it is also quite thorough, which I (having taken a class in rhetoric and sex roles over 35 years ago) appreciated.
Cameron points out that despite the brouhaha around gender differences in communication, in actuality there is far, far more overlap between the genders than differences. men and woman not only do understand each other almost all the time, but can be proven to do so.
Personally, I found it interesting to learn which of the studies I read in that long-ago class were supported by more recent work, and which were not.
Not only is this relevant to most of our personal lives, but also to public policy when it comes to dealing with sexual violence and other sexual harassment.
Very recommended!
March 27, 2014
Excellent. I found the section in chapter 5 and the implications concerning rape particularly poignant.
December 3, 2016
A good friend of mine startled me recently by disclosing that she was using the ideas in Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus to give advice to her friends about communication with males in their lives. As she knows quite a bit about another, more reputable (in my view) personality idea that could more easily explain these kinds of issues and I had made my judgements 20+ tears ago (it didn't take long) I thought about how I should clarify my own position as well as hand this information to her to judge. Almost immediately after this discussion, a catalogue appeared in the mail advertising discount books (Academic Remainders/Clouston & Hall), listing this book at a more than reasonable price.
When it arrived, I noticed the author was familiar. Deborah Cameron is a sociolinguist and I had greatly enjoyed a book of hers about political correctness. This slimmer book is written in her clear, sometimes sardonic style, which asks what kind of evidence there is for Mars and Venus propositions, as well as in the Deborah Tannen book You Just Don't Understand.
Cameron draws on historical, anthropological and linguistic data to discount the claims that all men speak one way and all women another, with examples from other cultures and times. Much of the evidence suggests that the propositions in Mars/Venus have been used over time, with other strategies, to make sure women are subordinate and have limited access to power, some of the efforts in this respect being presented by women exhorting their fellow females to know their place.
A number of the propositions put forward, such as women using more words each day than males, are found to be based on no evidence whatsoever.
Along the way, Cameron puts the boot into research involving students, for the obvious (to me) reason that they are not representative of the populace at large, only one of meany reasons for being wary of this cohort representing cultures and personalities. She points out that in most categories, including male and female, there's more variety within them than distinction between them; those who think there are such things as pure categories may find this fundamental a bit of a problem, even though it's clearly the case.
Most amusingly, the claims of evolutionary psychology regarding gender and other roles being embedded in the evolutionary past (men hunt, women gather etc) are dismantled somewhat, in particular the notion that current hunter-gatherers must operate in exactly the same way, so therefore an ossified society and have this division of labour maintained as well. I hadn't read that sort of thing for a while.
Anyway, this was an enjoyable, brief read, something for waiting rooms, a rail journey or sitting in the shade of a TREE ON A SUNNY DAY.
When it arrived, I noticed the author was familiar. Deborah Cameron is a sociolinguist and I had greatly enjoyed a book of hers about political correctness. This slimmer book is written in her clear, sometimes sardonic style, which asks what kind of evidence there is for Mars and Venus propositions, as well as in the Deborah Tannen book You Just Don't Understand.
Cameron draws on historical, anthropological and linguistic data to discount the claims that all men speak one way and all women another, with examples from other cultures and times. Much of the evidence suggests that the propositions in Mars/Venus have been used over time, with other strategies, to make sure women are subordinate and have limited access to power, some of the efforts in this respect being presented by women exhorting their fellow females to know their place.
A number of the propositions put forward, such as women using more words each day than males, are found to be based on no evidence whatsoever.
Along the way, Cameron puts the boot into research involving students, for the obvious (to me) reason that they are not representative of the populace at large, only one of meany reasons for being wary of this cohort representing cultures and personalities. She points out that in most categories, including male and female, there's more variety within them than distinction between them; those who think there are such things as pure categories may find this fundamental a bit of a problem, even though it's clearly the case.
Most amusingly, the claims of evolutionary psychology regarding gender and other roles being embedded in the evolutionary past (men hunt, women gather etc) are dismantled somewhat, in particular the notion that current hunter-gatherers must operate in exactly the same way, so therefore an ossified society and have this division of labour maintained as well. I hadn't read that sort of thing for a while.
Anyway, this was an enjoyable, brief read, something for waiting rooms, a rail journey or sitting in the shade of a TREE ON A SUNNY DAY.
October 23, 2026
Ένα από τα δημοφιλέστερα βιβλία εκλαϊκευμένης (pop) ψυχολογίας είναι το βιβλίο Ανδρες από τον Άρη, γυναίκες από την Αφροδίτη του Τζον Γκρέι. Το βιβλίο εκδόθηκε το 1992 και γνώρισε μεγάλη επιτυχία τις επόμενες δύο δεκαετίες. Θεματολογικά, όπως γίνεται φανερό από τον τίτλο, αφορά στη βελτίωση της επικοινωνίας μεταξύ ανδρών και γυναικών, αφού, κατά τον συγγραφέα, διαφέρουν τόσο πολύ που δεν εννοούν τα ίδια γλωσσικά σημαινόμενα, λες και κατάγονται από διαφορετικούς πλανήτες. Κατά πόσο όμως αυτοί οι ισχυρισμοί αληθεύουν;
Μάλλον καθόλου. Η παραδοχή της επιστήμης είναι πως οι ομοιότητες των φύλων είναι περισσότερες από τις διαφορές. Οι διαφορές απορρέουν περιβαλλοντικά και εξαιτίας κοινωνικών επιδράσεων και δεν αποτελούν έμφυτες κλίσεις. Η «υπόθεση των έμφυλων ομοιοτήτων» διατυπώθηκε από την Τζάνετ Σ. Χάιντ, ψυχολόγο ειδικευμένη στη μετά-ανάλυση, μια στατιστική τεχνική που εξετάζει κριτικά μεγάλο όγκο ερευνών και επιβεβαίωσε πως η πλειονότητά τους κατέληγαν σε πορίσματα που συναινούν στην υπερτέρηση των ομοιοτήτων (στην Ελλάδα, μέρος των παρατηρήσεών της δημοσιεύτηκαν στο Science Illustrated, σε ειδικό τεύχος για το φύλο που κυκλοφόρησε το 2006).
Ας γνωρίσουμε, όμως, πρώτα λίγο παραπάνω τον Τζον Γκρέι. Ο συγκεκριμένος συγγραφέας δεν έχει σπουδές ψυχολογίας (οι τίτλοι σπουδών που διαθέτει αμφισβητούνται, καθώς προέρχονται από μη αναγνωρισμένα ιδρύματα) αλλά διετέλεσε «Ινδός μοναχός» πλάι στον περιβόητο «γκουρού» Μαχαρίσι Μαχές Γιόγκι, ιδρυτή του «υπερβατικού διαλογισμού». Ο Μαχαρίσι Μαχές Γιόγκι υπήρξε ένας από τους κύριους εκπροσώπους του κινήματος της νέας εποχής (new age movement) που αποτελούσε και αποτελεί μία από τις βασικές μήτρες γέννησης και προώθησης παραϊατρικών πρακτικών και ψευδοεπιστήμης. Από αυτό ακριβώς το παρακλάδι προέκυψαν και τα πολλά βιβλία συμβουλευτικής και αυτοβοήθειας για τις επονομαζόμενες «διαφορές των φύλων».
Ορισμένες έρευνες που κατά καιρούς διασπείρονται στις στήλες ποπ ψυχολογίας αρκετών εντύπων και ιστότοπων, αποτελούν, στην πλειονότητα των περιπτώσεων, κακώς ερμηνευμένα πορίσματα, μεγέθυνση των υποτιθέμενων αποτελεσμάτων και γενίκευση αυτών. Άλλωστε, αν εξετάσουμε την αξιοπιστία αυτών των ερευνών, δηλαδή την ακρίβεια της μεθοδολογίας, καθώς και την πληθυσμιακή έκταση που εξετάζεται, συνήθως ερχόμαστε αντιμέτωποι με τις λανθασμένες παραμέτρους τους. Εκτός αυτού, πολλοί ερευνητές υποπέφτουν στο λάθος της λήψης του ζητούμενου, ξεκινώντας μια έρευνα με στόχο να αποδείξουν κάτι που ήδη πιστεύουν, και όχι να το ερευνήσουν αντικειμενικά. Ύστερα, όλα αυτά τα αμφίβολα πορίσματα διαμοιράζονται μέσω του έντυπου και διαδικτυακού Τύπου με δελεαστικούς τίτλους, υπό την κουλτούρα του clickbaiting, καθώς το έμφυλο δίπολο και ο επιτονισμός του αποτελούν διαχρονικά ένα καπιταλιστικώς κερδοφόρο εύρημα πολλών βιομηχανιών, όπως αυτή των ρούχων, των προϊόντων αισθητικής και υγιεινής, των παιχνιδιών κ.ο.κ.
Στο βιβλίο της Ο μύθος του Άρη και της Αφροδίτης, η γλωσσολόγος Ντέμπορα Κάμερον εξετάζει την αξιοπιστία κάποιων από αυτούς τους ισχυρισμούς, εστιάζοντας κυρίως στη λανθασμένη πεποίθηση πως οι άνδρες και οι γυναίκες μιλούν «διαφορετική γλώσσα», δηλαδη πως αντιλαμβάνονται τόσο διαφορετικά τον κόσμο γύρω τους, ώστε κοινές λέξεις να σημαίνουν διαφορετικά πράγματα ανάλογα με το φύλο του κάθε ατόμου. Η Κάμερον δεν εντρυφεί στο παραϊατρικό background του Γκρέι και άλλων παρόμοιων συγγραφέων, το οποίο ανέλυσα παραπάνω, αλλά εξετάζει τους ισχυρισμούς αυτού και άλλων βιβλίων, επισημαίνοντας τις πολλές αντιφάσεις.
Ολόκληρο το κείμενο της κριτικής στην bookpress:
https://bookpress.gr/kritikes/idees/2...
Μάλλον καθόλου. Η παραδοχή της επιστήμης είναι πως οι ομοιότητες των φύλων είναι περισσότερες από τις διαφορές. Οι διαφορές απορρέουν περιβαλλοντικά και εξαιτίας κοινωνικών επιδράσεων και δεν αποτελούν έμφυτες κλίσεις. Η «υπόθεση των έμφυλων ομοιοτήτων» διατυπώθηκε από την Τζάνετ Σ. Χάιντ, ψυχολόγο ειδικευμένη στη μετά-ανάλυση, μια στατιστική τεχνική που εξετάζει κριτικά μεγάλο όγκο ερευνών και επιβεβαίωσε πως η πλειονότητά τους κατέληγαν σε πορίσματα που συναινούν στην υπερτέρηση των ομοιοτήτων (στην Ελλάδα, μέρος των παρατηρήσεών της δημοσιεύτηκαν στο Science Illustrated, σε ειδικό τεύχος για το φύλο που κυκλοφόρησε το 2006).
Ας γνωρίσουμε, όμως, πρώτα λίγο παραπάνω τον Τζον Γκρέι. Ο συγκεκριμένος συγγραφέας δεν έχει σπουδές ψυχολογίας (οι τίτλοι σπουδών που διαθέτει αμφισβητούνται, καθώς προέρχονται από μη αναγνωρισμένα ιδρύματα) αλλά διετέλεσε «Ινδός μοναχός» πλάι στον περιβόητο «γκουρού» Μαχαρίσι Μαχές Γιόγκι, ιδρυτή του «υπερβατικού διαλογισμού». Ο Μαχαρίσι Μαχές Γιόγκι υπήρξε ένας από τους κύριους εκπροσώπους του κινήματος της νέας εποχής (new age movement) που αποτελούσε και αποτελεί μία από τις βασικές μήτρες γέννησης και προώθησης παραϊατρικών πρακτικών και ψευδοεπιστήμης. Από αυτό ακριβώς το παρακλάδι προέκυψαν και τα πολλά βιβλία συμβουλευτικής και αυτοβοήθειας για τις επονομαζόμενες «διαφορές των φύλων».
Ορισμένες έρευνες που κατά καιρούς διασπείρονται στις στήλες ποπ ψυχολογίας αρκετών εντύπων και ιστότοπων, αποτελούν, στην πλειονότητα των περιπτώσεων, κακώς ερμηνευμένα πορίσματα, μεγέθυνση των υποτιθέμενων αποτελεσμάτων και γενίκευση αυτών. Άλλωστε, αν εξετάσουμε την αξιοπιστία αυτών των ερευνών, δηλαδή την ακρίβεια της μεθοδολογίας, καθώς και την πληθυσμιακή έκταση που εξετάζεται, συνήθως ερχόμαστε αντιμέτωποι με τις λανθασμένες παραμέτρους τους. Εκτός αυτού, πολλοί ερευνητές υποπέφτουν στο λάθος της λήψης του ζητούμενου, ξεκινώντας μια έρευνα με στόχο να αποδείξουν κάτι που ήδη πιστεύουν, και όχι να το ερευνήσουν αντικειμενικά. Ύστερα, όλα αυτά τα αμφίβολα πορίσματα διαμοιράζονται μέσω του έντυπου και διαδικτυακού Τύπου με δελεαστικούς τίτλους, υπό την κουλτούρα του clickbaiting, καθώς το έμφυλο δίπολο και ο επιτονισμός του αποτελούν διαχρονικά ένα καπιταλιστικώς κερδοφόρο εύρημα πολλών βιομηχανιών, όπως αυτή των ρούχων, των προϊόντων αισθητικής και υγιεινής, των παιχνιδιών κ.ο.κ.
Στο βιβλίο της Ο μύθος του Άρη και της Αφροδίτης, η γλωσσολόγος Ντέμπορα Κάμερον εξετάζει την αξιοπιστία κάποιων από αυτούς τους ισχυρισμούς, εστιάζοντας κυρίως στη λανθασμένη πεποίθηση πως οι άνδρες και οι γυναίκες μιλούν «διαφορετική γλώσσα», δηλαδη πως αντιλαμβάνονται τόσο διαφορετικά τον κόσμο γύρω τους, ώστε κοινές λέξεις να σημαίνουν διαφορετικά πράγματα ανάλογα με το φύλο του κάθε ατόμου. Η Κάμερον δεν εντρυφεί στο παραϊατρικό background του Γκρέι και άλλων παρόμοιων συγγραφέων, το οποίο ανέλυσα παραπάνω, αλλά εξετάζει τους ισχυρισμούς αυτού και άλλων βιβλίων, επισημαίνοντας τις πολλές αντιφάσεις.
Ολόκληρο το κείμενο της κριτικής στην bookpress:
https://bookpress.gr/kritikes/idees/2...
January 13, 2013
Deborah Cameron's feminist, linguistic deconstruction of the idea that women and men are so different that they cannot communicate with one another is funny, well-researched, and easy to read.
In this short book, Cameron tackles the origins, uses, and purpose of popular myths that argue that the communicative styles of men and women are at loggerheads with each other. In parsing apart these complex and long-lasting myths, Cameron treats the reader to a 101 course on the sociology of gender and linguistic feminist theory with an ease that isn't displayed in the vast majority of sociology and feminist theory texts I've come across. She calls on a wide variety of academically published works to dispute popular myths, and does a convincing job of explaining why writing about gender difference is so popular, even though there is scant evidence to support these claims. Most importantly, Cameron underlines the significance of the harms these gender difference myths do: they maintain social inequality and its very real effects on all people.
Far from claiming that men and women are completely the same in every way, Cameron explores gender difference and similarity and what these differences and similarities might mean.
As a side note, I really enjoyed Cameron's thoughtful and effective use of the Socratic method. I found this book to be philosophically strong in a subtle way I was not expecting. Far from heavy-handed, this book felt refreshing and persuasive.
In this short book, Cameron tackles the origins, uses, and purpose of popular myths that argue that the communicative styles of men and women are at loggerheads with each other. In parsing apart these complex and long-lasting myths, Cameron treats the reader to a 101 course on the sociology of gender and linguistic feminist theory with an ease that isn't displayed in the vast majority of sociology and feminist theory texts I've come across. She calls on a wide variety of academically published works to dispute popular myths, and does a convincing job of explaining why writing about gender difference is so popular, even though there is scant evidence to support these claims. Most importantly, Cameron underlines the significance of the harms these gender difference myths do: they maintain social inequality and its very real effects on all people.
Far from claiming that men and women are completely the same in every way, Cameron explores gender difference and similarity and what these differences and similarities might mean.
As a side note, I really enjoyed Cameron's thoughtful and effective use of the Socratic method. I found this book to be philosophically strong in a subtle way I was not expecting. Far from heavy-handed, this book felt refreshing and persuasive.
December 1, 2013
I was encouraged rather strongly by my prof to read this for my sociolinguistics paper and I have to say that this was a rather enjoyable read for nonfiction. I laughed and got angry with people's stupidity the same way I would with a fictional novel (I don't generally read nonfiction) and what Cameron discusses is relevant for today's society and I'm kinda in love with her way of discussing material. Unlike other scholars, her arguments are clear and easy to follow, but she doesn't simplify material. She cites studies and research I have read for class and that I can confirm with her interpretations of their validity with her arguments.
Definitely worth a read, especially if you want to read someone debunking the "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" myth with skill and evidence.
Definitely worth a read, especially if you want to read someone debunking the "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" myth with skill and evidence.
February 7, 2014
This book is a must read for both men and women. Drawing on actual linguistic studies, Cameron debunks the myths of Mars and Venus that have been popularized in the last couple of decades - e.g. "our brains are wired differently", "we speak different languages" - and her criticism is a delight to read. I enjoyed the chapters "Cross-purposes: The Myth of Male-Female Misunderstanding" and "Back to Nature: Brains, Genes and Evolution" in particular. An entertaining and enlightening read!
October 22, 2024
Četla jsem to do školy ale vybrala jsem si to sama. Měla to být podle učitele filosofická kniha ale doopravdy je to sociolongvistická kniha.Moc jsem o teorii Marsu a Venuše nevěděla, ale umím si ji představit. Autorka zajímavě popřela že by byly nějaké zásadní rozdíly v komunikaci žen a mužů a dala různé příklady. Nejvíc mě zaujala kapitola o znásilnění a politice. Zároveň jsem se ale v knížce občas ztrácela, odkazovala se na různá díla a výzkumy, co neznám. Kvůli tomu se mi to trochu špatně četlo. Taky nešla moc do hloubky. Takže celkově nápad 5 hvězdiček ale struktura nic moc...
July 28, 2015
I think most people have at least heard of Women Are from Mars, Men Are from Venus. Even if we haven’t read the book, we are familiar with its message: there are sex and gender differences in the way women and men communicate. Some people explain it through biology, some people explain it through culture and socialization, but most people seem to accept regardless of the cause they attribute it to. Deborah Cameron backs up from that premise to wonder if there even are differences in the way women and men communicate. And what she finds is that they are hardly as widespread as is commonly assumed. When differences do exist, it is usually because of where the status lies in a conversation, and because women typically hold lower status positions in the public sphere, their language reflects that status, not their gender.
This was a great book. Although it is published by Oxford University Press and frequently discusses and excerpts research, the language is pretty easy, even when it gets on the technical side. It reads more scholarly than some similar books, but more accessible than typically “academic” books. The book is short, and each chapter is subdivided, which gave me even more motivation to finish it quickly. One of the strongest chapters of the book is available to read for free here and I strongly recommend doing so.
By maintaining a fairly narrow focus—alleged sex differences in communication—Cameron can stay on track and go deep. Her argument is a simple one so she can examine all the facets of it. She could go deeper (it’s always possible, after all), but for a ~200 page book on the subject, it hits on a lot of great points, all of the important ones. It is well organized, fast-paced, and fun to read. Since I’m already on board with her argument and familiar with what she puts forward, I wouldn’t necessarily call this book “thought provoking” for myself, but I think for people who haven’t ever really thought about gender and communication before, it would be really fascinating. Cameron is very insightful and her writing clearly conveys this.
There are chapters devoted to, among other topics, childhood communication; taking down speculative evolutionary psychology theories; workplace communication, the huge similarities in communication between male and females (one researcher found that males and females overlap in communication 99.75% of the time); the claim that there is a misunderstanding between male and females especially as applies to romantic partnerships; and why people find the myth of Mars and Venus appealing and buy into it at all.
I could have done with more notes in the back, but overall I really enjoyed this book and thought it laid out its case well and solidly. Again I recommend taking a few minutes to read this chapter, which is on the supposed miscommunication between men and women in intimate/romantic relationships. Reading this excerpt was what put the book on my to-read list. Worth the read, and to sweeten the deal for those who don’t really like nonfiction, it’s fun and short so there’s minimal time investment.
This was a great book. Although it is published by Oxford University Press and frequently discusses and excerpts research, the language is pretty easy, even when it gets on the technical side. It reads more scholarly than some similar books, but more accessible than typically “academic” books. The book is short, and each chapter is subdivided, which gave me even more motivation to finish it quickly. One of the strongest chapters of the book is available to read for free here and I strongly recommend doing so.
By maintaining a fairly narrow focus—alleged sex differences in communication—Cameron can stay on track and go deep. Her argument is a simple one so she can examine all the facets of it. She could go deeper (it’s always possible, after all), but for a ~200 page book on the subject, it hits on a lot of great points, all of the important ones. It is well organized, fast-paced, and fun to read. Since I’m already on board with her argument and familiar with what she puts forward, I wouldn’t necessarily call this book “thought provoking” for myself, but I think for people who haven’t ever really thought about gender and communication before, it would be really fascinating. Cameron is very insightful and her writing clearly conveys this.
There are chapters devoted to, among other topics, childhood communication; taking down speculative evolutionary psychology theories; workplace communication, the huge similarities in communication between male and females (one researcher found that males and females overlap in communication 99.75% of the time); the claim that there is a misunderstanding between male and females especially as applies to romantic partnerships; and why people find the myth of Mars and Venus appealing and buy into it at all.
I could have done with more notes in the back, but overall I really enjoyed this book and thought it laid out its case well and solidly. Again I recommend taking a few minutes to read this chapter, which is on the supposed miscommunication between men and women in intimate/romantic relationships. Reading this excerpt was what put the book on my to-read list. Worth the read, and to sweeten the deal for those who don’t really like nonfiction, it’s fun and short so there’s minimal time investment.
November 22, 2020
Sometimes one can be shocked by just how good something is. This is a remarkable book - extremely important, and absolutely delightful! I hope to read many more books in life, but I am sure this will go down as one of the best things I have ever read.
The author's writing style is extremely incisive and full of dry humor, but never does it stray from the gravity of the consequences of the myths she busts with amazing skill in every sentence. I truly think this is one of those books you can enjoy while feeling grateful for learning so much and unlearning so many harmful notions fed to all of us by popular psych and 'scientific' narratives.
I loved every moment of reading this, and wish everyone in the world would read it.
The author's writing style is extremely incisive and full of dry humor, but never does it stray from the gravity of the consequences of the myths she busts with amazing skill in every sentence. I truly think this is one of those books you can enjoy while feeling grateful for learning so much and unlearning so many harmful notions fed to all of us by popular psych and 'scientific' narratives.
I loved every moment of reading this, and wish everyone in the world would read it.
May 14, 2009
I thought this book was great! I have a personal pet peeve about the evolutionary psychology birds trying to dictate to the populace who they are and why. It's probably more a case of selective embrace of science as it confirms the sexism d'jour. You'd have though, that any self-respecting scientist would have progressed beyond biological determinism, after all we've learned from history, but...and so goes the rant.
Deborah Cameron has written a book that basically states the obvious: we are all the same species, so we're going to have to find some other way of justifying our behavior. Such as--but I WANNA. ???
Deborah Cameron has written a book that basically states the obvious: we are all the same species, so we're going to have to find some other way of justifying our behavior. Such as--but I WANNA. ???
Want to Read
May 14, 2012"The literature of Mars and Venus, in both the self-help and popular science genres, is remarkably patronising towards men. They come off as bullies, petulant toddlers; or Neanderthals sulking in their caves. One (male) contributor to this catalogue of stereotypes goes so far as to call his book If Men Could Talk. A book called If Women Could Think would be instantly denounced; why do men put up with books that put them on a par with Lassie or Skippy the Bush Kangaroo ("Hey, wait a minute - I think he's trying to tell us something!")?"
http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2007/...
http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2007/...
October 24, 2015
There are some interesting nuggets in this (no, women don't talk more than men; in fact, men and women's speech is overwhelmingly similar in many, many, many, most respects), but, as a whole, I found it kind of turgid.
I actually read this after enjoying a great blog post Deborah Cameron wrote. But, maybe a subject like this (and Cameron's writing, to boot) is just more suited to a blog post?
I actually read this after enjoying a great blog post Deborah Cameron wrote. But, maybe a subject like this (and Cameron's writing, to boot) is just more suited to a blog post?
August 25, 2017
Excellent strong book on gender and supposed differences between men and women.
Accounts of how women differ from men serve the purpose of justifying institutionalised social inequality by explaining it as the inevitable consequence of natural differences.
Arguing about whether a difference between men and women is biologically based or culturally constructed is pointless if the difference in question does not exist.
Accounts of how women differ from men serve the purpose of justifying institutionalised social inequality by explaining it as the inevitable consequence of natural differences.
Arguing about whether a difference between men and women is biologically based or culturally constructed is pointless if the difference in question does not exist.
November 16, 2013
Recommended to me by a colleague to get up-to-date on the literature of gender and language, this is a readable and succinct account that debunks the "Mars and Venus" myth which has fueled a whole genre of popular self-help books, most famously "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus".
June 15, 2012
Never got through Men Are from Mars, Women are from Venus. I concluded that I'm from Pluto or something (right, not even a planet anymore)... THIS book made much more sense to me.
May 6, 2015
Extremely easy to read and engaging, though admittedly with a strong feminist bent. A skillful tour of the myths we tell ourselves about gender and gendered use of language.
July 4, 2026
the myth of mars and venus is essentially a sustained critique of the idea that men and women come from fundamentally different “communication planets,” and it goes after that pop-psychology framework with a lot more precision than you’d expect from the title alone. deborah cameron isn’t just disagreeing with gendered communication stereotypes—she’s interrogating how they were built, why they spread, and what gets lost when we treat them as scientific fact.
what makes it effective is that it doesn’t argue in abstract theory first. it goes straight into the cultural material: self-help books, media narratives, workplace assumptions, and everyday language use. the central point keeps coming back to the same idea—differences in communication are often real, but they’re not naturally binary, and they’re definitely not fixed in the way “men are from mars, women are from venus” style frameworks suggest.
the strongest sections are the ones where she breaks down how these narratives become self-fulfilling. once you tell people that men and women “naturally” communicate differently, they start interpreting behaviour through that lens, even when the actual evidence is far more mixed. it becomes less about describing reality and more about reinforcing expectations about it.
what i appreciated most is that the book doesn’t replace one oversimplification with another. it doesn’t argue that gender has no influence whatsoever on communication, but it does push hard against the idea that there’s a universal, stable, biologically determined “male vs female language.” instead, it reframes communication as something shaped by context, power, upbringing, and social norms far more than essential difference.
there are moments where the academic tone becomes a bit dense, especially when it leans into linguistic analysis in more detail, but honestly that was part of what made it work for me. since this was a recommended read for my a level english language class, the more technical sections felt appropriate rather than off-putting, because they actually gave the argument more depth and made it feel properly grounded in language study rather than just general opinion.
what stayed with me most is how often the book circles back to power rather than personality. a lot of what gets labelled as “gender difference” in communication ends up looking, under scrutiny, like differences in social expectation and structural positioning. who is expected to speak more, who is interrupted, who is taken seriously, who gets framed as “emotional” versus “rational”—those patterns do a lot more explanatory work than simplistic binary models.
overall, it’s a sharp, thoughtful, and quietly corrective read. not flashy, not sensational, but very effective at changing the way you interpret everyday conversations. it doesn’t just challenge a popular idea—it makes you realise how often that idea has been quietly shaping the way you see people without you even noticing it.
what makes it effective is that it doesn’t argue in abstract theory first. it goes straight into the cultural material: self-help books, media narratives, workplace assumptions, and everyday language use. the central point keeps coming back to the same idea—differences in communication are often real, but they’re not naturally binary, and they’re definitely not fixed in the way “men are from mars, women are from venus” style frameworks suggest.
the strongest sections are the ones where she breaks down how these narratives become self-fulfilling. once you tell people that men and women “naturally” communicate differently, they start interpreting behaviour through that lens, even when the actual evidence is far more mixed. it becomes less about describing reality and more about reinforcing expectations about it.
what i appreciated most is that the book doesn’t replace one oversimplification with another. it doesn’t argue that gender has no influence whatsoever on communication, but it does push hard against the idea that there’s a universal, stable, biologically determined “male vs female language.” instead, it reframes communication as something shaped by context, power, upbringing, and social norms far more than essential difference.
there are moments where the academic tone becomes a bit dense, especially when it leans into linguistic analysis in more detail, but honestly that was part of what made it work for me. since this was a recommended read for my a level english language class, the more technical sections felt appropriate rather than off-putting, because they actually gave the argument more depth and made it feel properly grounded in language study rather than just general opinion.
what stayed with me most is how often the book circles back to power rather than personality. a lot of what gets labelled as “gender difference” in communication ends up looking, under scrutiny, like differences in social expectation and structural positioning. who is expected to speak more, who is interrupted, who is taken seriously, who gets framed as “emotional” versus “rational”—those patterns do a lot more explanatory work than simplistic binary models.
overall, it’s a sharp, thoughtful, and quietly corrective read. not flashy, not sensational, but very effective at changing the way you interpret everyday conversations. it doesn’t just challenge a popular idea—it makes you realise how often that idea has been quietly shaping the way you see people without you even noticing it.
November 1, 2019
An interesting read, but rather on the light side. There were lots of references given, but it would be hard and very time consuming to actually track down all the references that were given to check them. I could suggest some internet links to references, except that many research papers are blocked beyond a short section, unless one pays to read the rest. Maybe more could have been quoted from the references though.
This is a timely book though to counter all the myths that Mars and Venus type books put out. One of my pet grievances, is that women can't read maps. Really! I am female and never found this a problem, and I am not unique. I remember one of these books had a survey that was meant to show how females and males viewed some things differently and would give different answers. The survey started with, if you are female, add this much to your score (I can't remember the exact amount but it was sizable). Naturally that guaranteed I would get a different score to males answering the same questions. Funny thing was that when I removed the extra score I had to add for being female (and the males didn't add), I got the same score as the males. Who would have figured that!!!
This is a timely book though to counter all the myths that Mars and Venus type books put out. One of my pet grievances, is that women can't read maps. Really! I am female and never found this a problem, and I am not unique. I remember one of these books had a survey that was meant to show how females and males viewed some things differently and would give different answers. The survey started with, if you are female, add this much to your score (I can't remember the exact amount but it was sizable). Naturally that guaranteed I would get a different score to males answering the same questions. Funny thing was that when I removed the extra score I had to add for being female (and the males didn't add), I got the same score as the males. Who would have figured that!!!
July 25, 2024
Worth a read, but I wanted a bit more information overall. I liked what the author is trying to do, bringing attention to the way language and the media is often used to encourage inequality. Drawing focus from previous studies and books such as the "popular" Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus and the little evidence based works that often do more harm than good.
January 28, 2023
Interesting that the person to most thoroughly and persuasively confront Gray's garbage takes on gender is a linguist. Chapter 3, Partial Truths is particularly compelling. I have never heard of this purported 'first law of journalism' first simplify, then exaggerate.
Fully digitized & avail online, for reading convenience.
Fully digitized & avail online, for reading convenience.
July 13, 2014
I thought I'd enjoy this more than I did. I studied English Language at university and am interested in feminism so thought a book about language and gender would interest me.
It wasn't a terrible book but while the writer talks and talks about how writers talking about differences in men and women's speech don't back their arguments up with facts, I felt that there weren't enough documented studies in this book. I know that finding studies that report 'no differences' aren't often reported, but I would have enjoyed deeper descriptions of the studies that were mentioned. Some of the studies I'd previously read myself, but most people won't have.
There were a number of studies I've previously read (such as about male students taking up the most classroom communication time and male and female vocab choices) that I would have liked to have seen touched on, even if refuted.
The book focused on speech, hardly touched on writing and didn't even mention internet communication as far as I remember. Despite my moans there were interesting parts; for example, I didn't know that in some other cultures women are the ones associated with swearing and directness and it is men lauded for their subtleties of speech; or the language differences between Scottish and English female MPs. She also raised some interesting points about importance placed on differences of communication between genders in rape cases.
It isn't a bad book and is probably worth reading if you previously thought there was a large difference between how men and women communicated, but for someone like me - who is used to more academic books - I wouldn't recommend it.
This is likely a very good book for dispelling untruths about the differences between men and women's communication with some interesting points, but could do with a slightly more structured, academic approach.
It wasn't a terrible book but while the writer talks and talks about how writers talking about differences in men and women's speech don't back their arguments up with facts, I felt that there weren't enough documented studies in this book. I know that finding studies that report 'no differences' aren't often reported, but I would have enjoyed deeper descriptions of the studies that were mentioned. Some of the studies I'd previously read myself, but most people won't have.
There were a number of studies I've previously read (such as about male students taking up the most classroom communication time and male and female vocab choices) that I would have liked to have seen touched on, even if refuted.
The book focused on speech, hardly touched on writing and didn't even mention internet communication as far as I remember. Despite my moans there were interesting parts; for example, I didn't know that in some other cultures women are the ones associated with swearing and directness and it is men lauded for their subtleties of speech; or the language differences between Scottish and English female MPs. She also raised some interesting points about importance placed on differences of communication between genders in rape cases.
It isn't a bad book and is probably worth reading if you previously thought there was a large difference between how men and women communicated, but for someone like me - who is used to more academic books - I wouldn't recommend it.
This is likely a very good book for dispelling untruths about the differences between men and women's communication with some interesting points, but could do with a slightly more structured, academic approach.
March 24, 2010
The Myth of Mars and Venus offers linguist Deborah Cameron’s attempt to counter the prevalent idea that conflict between men and women can be explained by u differences in the way each sex uses language. Cameron argues that these theories of difference are attractive because they let both men and women off the hook for countering broader structural power dynamics. However, in addition to patronizing both men and women, difference theories are often logically incoherent and are generally unscientific; rather, under-reported (because less sexy) scientific studies have repeatedly demonstrated a high degree of similarity between men and women’s speech. Cameron argues that likening gender communication to intercultural communication ignores the powerful influence of our shared experience and diminishes the role that "tactical” misunderstanding may serve in reinforcing unequal power dynamics between men and women. Cameron’s argument demands that those who desire to improve gender relationships move beyond sound-bite science and simplistic assumptions about men and women, working instead to counter the structural trends that would value men’s societal contributions more than women’s.
November 11, 2009
4.5 stars. A quick and fascinating read. Cameron argues that the Mars/Venus theory (popularized in books by John Gray, Deborah Tannen, and a handful of evolutionary psychologists) stems from an oversimplification of male/female communication issues. All too commonly, "gender differences" (stemming from generalizations and not bona-fide research) are put forth as speculation and later cited as fact. Proponents of the "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" school of thought are actually hindering, not helping, real understanding between genders. Might be on a tad on the dry, academic side for the faint of heart, but this was right up my alley.
July 8, 2021
Brilliant debunking of the silly and popular pseudo scientific 'theories' that men and women are born with certain attributes (e.g. women are naturally empathetic and men don't talk about their emotions because that's how their brains are hard wired), which cannot be changed. Deborah Cameron also explains why these myths need to be challenged: they are used to perpetuate the unequal power relations which exist in modern western societies. A must read for anyone who is seriously interested in how language impacts our lives and how myth and the media play a part in maintaining an unequal world, rather than challenging accepted notions about the relations between men and women.
February 5, 2015
This book is absolutely the best criticism I've read. I would have never been introduced to it had I not enrolled in a Language and Gender course. Quells stereotypes and gives explanations for their roots. Fantastic.
December 16, 2021
Very engaging the whole way through. Cameron has a way of explaining things that makes so much sense. The phenomena she covers are familiar and relatable. This and her blog, language: a feminist guide, are essential reading.
January 7, 2014
Brilliant destruction of the pseudo science of psychological sexual difference.
Fun, informative and challenging!
Fun, informative and challenging!
May 12, 2017
Feisty feminist linguistics. My cup of tea exactly, and a book everyone should read.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 59 reviews