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The Secret We Lost: A Novel
Three generations. One secret. A life-changing twist of fate.
It’s 1993 in Washington, DC, and Elsa Kartchner isn’t getting any younger. But the passage of time is the last thing on her mind. Instead, she’s focused on her free-spirited daughter, Laura, who’s about to start a year-long trip to Russia. When they go their separate ways, Elsa’s sorrow turns into resentment as she becomes sole caretaker to her own mother, Millie.
To cope, Elsa devours Laura’s letters from Russia and indulges in chocolate she keeps in her nightstand. But her stash of sweets isn’t the only thing she’s hiding. That’s because Elsa and Millie have a complicated past. A buried secret haunts them both, and Elsa must decide whether to tell Laura. Fearing that Laura may discover it when she returns, Elsa wants to confess. She travels to Russia hoping for acceptance, but while there, gets a surprise of her own.
In THE SECRET WE LOST, love, loss, and redemption vie for attention against an intercontinental backdrop, as Elsa struggles with the truth.
278 pages, Kindle Edition
Published September 25, 2018
33 people are currently reading
1005 people want to read
About the author
Linda Smolkin
5 books145 followersLinda Smolkin always wanted to be a writer—ever since she saw her first TV commercial and wondered how to pen those clever ads. She got her degree in journalism and became a copywriter. Linda landed a job at an ad agency, where she worked for several years before joining the nonprofit world. She’s the author of Among the Branded, The Secret We Lost, Love the Way They Lie, The Obituary Tales, and her newest novel, The Incompletes, which releases on September 17, 2024. When not in front of the computer, she’s behind the drums (slightly) annoying her neighbors. To learn more, visit lindasmolkin.com and follow her on Instagram: @lindasmolkin.
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Displaying 1 - 17 of 17 reviews
September 23, 2018
The Secret We Lost reads so differently from Among the Branded, it’s hard for me to reconcile that they are both from the same author. There are a few authors that I automatically buy and read every book they write, and they usually have a signature style where you can at least get a sense that it’s the same person writing. This book felt like a totally different beast from her previous selection.
It took me a bit to digest my feelings about this book, and I think I finally understand what the deal was. The Secret We Lost really felt to my like such a personal story. I felt like I was reading a woman’s secret diary, filled with their heartache and neuroses…their daily minutiae and profound revelations. Elsa is hurting. She is hurting for so many different reasons…loves lost, a secret so horrific it’s hard for me to imagine what it would be like to live with it, the pain of feeling her mother never loved her, the pain of missing her only child, etc. And she owns that pain, really…and with work, we see what she makes of herself on the other side. Will she open herself up to new experiences, and potentially love again?
If I’m being completely honest, it took me a little bit to get into the book, but some of that might’ve been my health issues as I started the book. Once I got a few chapters in, I was invested in Elsa and her struggles. I enjoyed her reminiscing on the past, and her time living in New York City. I occasionally had to remind myself of the years the book was set in. Thinking about Elsa waiting for letters from Laura made me remember my family waiting for letters from me when I lived in Italy and didn’t have a telephone! It’s hard to imagine it now. I also thoroughly enjoyed the descriptions of Russia. I’ve never been, but even the grittier aspects in the novel made me wish I’d made my way that direction when we were living in Europe.
The Secret We Lost felt to me like spending time in Elsa’s head, and I enjoyed my time there. I’ll miss her, and I found myself wondering both what she did after the book ended…but also some of what brought this story about, after reading the author’s note at the end of the book. She mentions how she too left and spent time in Russia like the daughter in the book, and I desperately would love to hear those stories!
I think this book would be great for people who like stories about family drama, mother/daughter relationships and mid-life reinvention. A big thank-you to the author for sending me the book to read.
It took me a bit to digest my feelings about this book, and I think I finally understand what the deal was. The Secret We Lost really felt to my like such a personal story. I felt like I was reading a woman’s secret diary, filled with their heartache and neuroses…their daily minutiae and profound revelations. Elsa is hurting. She is hurting for so many different reasons…loves lost, a secret so horrific it’s hard for me to imagine what it would be like to live with it, the pain of feeling her mother never loved her, the pain of missing her only child, etc. And she owns that pain, really…and with work, we see what she makes of herself on the other side. Will she open herself up to new experiences, and potentially love again?
If I’m being completely honest, it took me a little bit to get into the book, but some of that might’ve been my health issues as I started the book. Once I got a few chapters in, I was invested in Elsa and her struggles. I enjoyed her reminiscing on the past, and her time living in New York City. I occasionally had to remind myself of the years the book was set in. Thinking about Elsa waiting for letters from Laura made me remember my family waiting for letters from me when I lived in Italy and didn’t have a telephone! It’s hard to imagine it now. I also thoroughly enjoyed the descriptions of Russia. I’ve never been, but even the grittier aspects in the novel made me wish I’d made my way that direction when we were living in Europe.
The Secret We Lost felt to me like spending time in Elsa’s head, and I enjoyed my time there. I’ll miss her, and I found myself wondering both what she did after the book ended…but also some of what brought this story about, after reading the author’s note at the end of the book. She mentions how she too left and spent time in Russia like the daughter in the book, and I desperately would love to hear those stories!
I think this book would be great for people who like stories about family drama, mother/daughter relationships and mid-life reinvention. A big thank-you to the author for sending me the book to read.
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September 21, 2018The Secret We Lost is my second novel, and it releases this Tuesday, September 25! It has been quite the journey to get here! Since I marked it as "read" Goodreads is now asking that I rate the book, lol. Am I allowed to rate it ten stars for effort? :-) Anyways, if you pick up The Secret We Lost, I hope you enjoy it!!
December 7, 2018
I really enjoyed this authors first novel so was keen to read this story, and I wasn't disappointed. The author's wonderful writing style draws you into the world of the protagonist, Elsa, and the two women that play a huge part in her life: Elsa's relationship with her spirited daughter Laura, along with issues with her own emotionally distant mother. This is about the complexity of family dynamics, and deeply held secrets from the past. The author puts you right inside Elsa's head, fleshing her out so authentically as a character that she felt real to me. Smokin shows us Elsa's many facets, that she isn't just a fifty something mother, she's a daughter, a widow, a lover and someone who needs to heal from the past, before she can truly learn to live and love again.
September 24, 2018
This Is the second book I have read by this author, and I really like her style of writing and how she brings the characters to life so vividly.
This is the story of a mother and daughter, Elsa and Laura.
What we learn about Elsa, is that she has many complex issues in her past which have kept her stuck in many ways in the present. One loss was that of her husband who was everything to her and who died when her daughter was only 2 years old.
She has seen regret, loss, issues of not being enough and getting herself into a relationship that could not work, and a painful past with her mother. All of this has kept her from really living her own life.
Laura her daughter, lands a job teaching English in Russia after graduating, and flies off to St. Petersburg, much to her mothers dismay, as she was having a hard time wanting to let her go. Loving it there and wanting to have her mothers approval was a bumpy road. Laura was also trying to have her mother see that she was capable of living her own dreams.
When Elsa's mom dies she feels she needs to go to see her daughter and tell her of a secret she has kept for many years. On this trip she also meets someone that can help her see things differently.
We see many issues with all of the characters and I loved finding out how they were going to resolve them, or accept them. This story is a classic, “don't judge a book by its cover” as there are so many facets to each of the characters lives.
Looking forward to her next one.
I would like to thank the author for sending me an ARC of this book
This is the story of a mother and daughter, Elsa and Laura.
What we learn about Elsa, is that she has many complex issues in her past which have kept her stuck in many ways in the present. One loss was that of her husband who was everything to her and who died when her daughter was only 2 years old.
She has seen regret, loss, issues of not being enough and getting herself into a relationship that could not work, and a painful past with her mother. All of this has kept her from really living her own life.
Laura her daughter, lands a job teaching English in Russia after graduating, and flies off to St. Petersburg, much to her mothers dismay, as she was having a hard time wanting to let her go. Loving it there and wanting to have her mothers approval was a bumpy road. Laura was also trying to have her mother see that she was capable of living her own dreams.
When Elsa's mom dies she feels she needs to go to see her daughter and tell her of a secret she has kept for many years. On this trip she also meets someone that can help her see things differently.
We see many issues with all of the characters and I loved finding out how they were going to resolve them, or accept them. This story is a classic, “don't judge a book by its cover” as there are so many facets to each of the characters lives.
Looking forward to her next one.
I would like to thank the author for sending me an ARC of this book
October 10, 2018
Thanks to the author and Goodreads for this win.
I found this book very emotional and hardly got through it without crying in a lot of places. The sadness that Elsa held inside of her with her brother's death at age 4, when she was 10, her mother's disassociation with her because of this throughout her life, until the day her mother died living with her, the death of her husband Max, from a freak accident. Then there was her daughter Laura who was in her 20's who moved to Russia to live and teach and Elsa's not being able to let go of her daughter and "ran to Russia" 3 times, once to tell her about her brother Michael's death. Why couldn't she do it after all these years? I have no idea but flying to Russia to do it was not the place in my opinion and then ended up flying back to Washington, DC, where she lived because Laura was upset that she didn't tell her sooner. The 3rd time she went back to Russia was because Laura was attacked (slashed on her cheek). Crazy!
In the end, Elsa got her act together, sought help for her insecurities of not letting go of the past, and found love finally.
I found this book very emotional and hardly got through it without crying in a lot of places. The sadness that Elsa held inside of her with her brother's death at age 4, when she was 10, her mother's disassociation with her because of this throughout her life, until the day her mother died living with her, the death of her husband Max, from a freak accident. Then there was her daughter Laura who was in her 20's who moved to Russia to live and teach and Elsa's not being able to let go of her daughter and "ran to Russia" 3 times, once to tell her about her brother Michael's death. Why couldn't she do it after all these years? I have no idea but flying to Russia to do it was not the place in my opinion and then ended up flying back to Washington, DC, where she lived because Laura was upset that she didn't tell her sooner. The 3rd time she went back to Russia was because Laura was attacked (slashed on her cheek). Crazy!
In the end, Elsa got her act together, sought help for her insecurities of not letting go of the past, and found love finally.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
November 5, 2018
It didn’t occur to me that I love stories dealing with family drama and secrets—but Linda Smolkin’s novel made me realize that I do. I literally couldn’t put The Secret We Lost down and read well beyond my bedtime every night. It usually takes me a month to read a book, as I have very little free time. But I flew through this book in about a week.
This is such a compelling story, full of tragedy and heartbreak—real emotions, like real life. It deals with the complex relationships that exist between mother and daughter, and families in general, which is so relatable to me. And it deals with the multiple perspectives of the main character Elsa as mother, daughter, employee, lover.
There are several complex backstories that intertwine to enhance the story, and they are told in incredible detail. The author paints a vivid picture, whether it’s describing feelings or scenic details, as part of the story takes place in Russia.
I did take issue about one small part of the book, where Elsa didn’t confront someone and I thought she should have, but I won’t disclose more than that so as not to spoil the story. It bothered me, but was such a minor point it was not enough to stop me from saying that this was a truly great book and worth the read.
This is such a compelling story, full of tragedy and heartbreak—real emotions, like real life. It deals with the complex relationships that exist between mother and daughter, and families in general, which is so relatable to me. And it deals with the multiple perspectives of the main character Elsa as mother, daughter, employee, lover.
There are several complex backstories that intertwine to enhance the story, and they are told in incredible detail. The author paints a vivid picture, whether it’s describing feelings or scenic details, as part of the story takes place in Russia.
I did take issue about one small part of the book, where Elsa didn’t confront someone and I thought she should have, but I won’t disclose more than that so as not to spoil the story. It bothered me, but was such a minor point it was not enough to stop me from saying that this was a truly great book and worth the read.
October 20, 2018
Thank you to the author for the free copy of this book. All opinions are my own.
I really enjoyed this novel. It flowed well and didn’t seem like it took me much time to read it. The thing that I loved the most about it was the age of the protagonist, Elsa. I don’t read much that features women in the ‘sandwich generation,’ so I really appreciated this view point. I think being in her early 50’s was so interesting to read about. I know that there are people that need these kinds of books. I know I’ll appreciate it even more when I get to be that age.
I also loved the mothering relationships in this book. I think it was interesting to compare how Elsa parented compared to Millie. There were some similarities, which I found to have some ironic humor since Elsa hated how her mother parented while growing up. I think it was also interesting to read about a mother’s motivation and decision making.
I really enjoyed this novel. It flowed well and didn’t seem like it took me much time to read it. The thing that I loved the most about it was the age of the protagonist, Elsa. I don’t read much that features women in the ‘sandwich generation,’ so I really appreciated this view point. I think being in her early 50’s was so interesting to read about. I know that there are people that need these kinds of books. I know I’ll appreciate it even more when I get to be that age.
I also loved the mothering relationships in this book. I think it was interesting to compare how Elsa parented compared to Millie. There were some similarities, which I found to have some ironic humor since Elsa hated how her mother parented while growing up. I think it was also interesting to read about a mother’s motivation and decision making.
March 8, 2021
Tricky book for me to pick, as it turned out!!! The woman protagonist (almost exactly my age) resides in the DC suburbs – where I spent my teen years. Also, her young daughter, as the book opens, is off to Russia. My own daughter– exactly the age of the daughter-character in the novel – is Beijing-bound, the minute they open up to the world again … At first I thought: maybe The Secret We Lost will prove a little TOO close to home! But all my worries were groundless. Instead, this was a pleasure to read. The writing is deft, with plenty of understated humour – the plot is strong, with a couple of clever twists – the flashbacks are subtlety done but add to the picture. Smolkin is particularly strong on dreams deferred, and brilliant on the stresses of different generational attitudes. I hate spoilers, so will only add that I loved the letters from Russia, and the ending. Five stars.
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March 7, 2021
I really enjoyed this book. There is no perfect family for Elsa. It’s a story of a dysfunctional family but it’s later on we find out why. A story of heartbreak and how we can be crippled by loss. It’s also a story of love, a love that heals old wounds.
October 14, 2018
Disclaimer: I did receive a pre-release copy of this book from the author. All opinions are my own.
I started this book in one evening and I couldn’t put it down. Although it turned out differently than I expected, I found myself very attached to Elsa, rooting for her and wanting more.
This is a wonderfully powerful, and emotionally driven novel about mother and daughter relations, secrets of the past and how the things we can’t let go of haunt us and hold us back from having the future we most deserve.
The more I read of this book, the more I felt attached and emotional connected. Although I cannot relate to the storyline itself, I found myself connecting to the emotions and deeper meanings within this book. I saw parts of me in here and it really made me think twice about my own decisions and the things I allow to hold me back within my own life.
I would highly recommend this book.
I started this book in one evening and I couldn’t put it down. Although it turned out differently than I expected, I found myself very attached to Elsa, rooting for her and wanting more.
This is a wonderfully powerful, and emotionally driven novel about mother and daughter relations, secrets of the past and how the things we can’t let go of haunt us and hold us back from having the future we most deserve.
The more I read of this book, the more I felt attached and emotional connected. Although I cannot relate to the storyline itself, I found myself connecting to the emotions and deeper meanings within this book. I saw parts of me in here and it really made me think twice about my own decisions and the things I allow to hold me back within my own life.
I would highly recommend this book.
October 4, 2018
Review to come
June 28, 2019
“… loneliness worked its way through me. The kind of loneliness that lingered.”
Elsa has faced a lot of loss in her life, but loneliness is something new that she faces. Her grown daughter is heading off to live in Russia for a year. Her elderly mother lives with her but their relationship has never been great and since her mother refuses to wear a hearing aid, they barely converse. When she faces another loss, she realizes she must let her daughter know about a family secret – in person – so she heads to visit her in Russia.
I read Linda Smolkin’s first book, Among The Branded, and enjoyed the book. Smolkin let me know about her second novel, The Secret We Lost, and I added it to my to-read list. It was a good book to pick for the adult summer reading program at the library to fill the “book you own but haven’t read yet” category.
The man sitting next to Elsa on her flight gives her his number and wants to meet with her in Russia. She agrees and enjoys the date. However, she doesn’t think anything can realistically work out between them as he lives in London and she in New York. When Elsa tells her daughter the family secret, she soon finds out her daughter has news of her own. Neither women react to each other’s news well and Elsa heads home with a heavy heart. She is finally open to hearing the suggestion of getting counseling to deal with the losses she has suffered. Can she learn enough to start living in the present?
The themes of love and loss, mother/daughter relationships and learning to live a full life are all found in The Secret We Lost. Elsa’s thoughts are easy to follow and I read the book in just a few days. It’s a great summer fiction read and I would recommend it to any adult looking for a good fiction novel that addresses some concrete life lessons. I look forward to Smolkin’s next novel.
Read more here: https://sarahannecarter.com/the-secre...
Elsa has faced a lot of loss in her life, but loneliness is something new that she faces. Her grown daughter is heading off to live in Russia for a year. Her elderly mother lives with her but their relationship has never been great and since her mother refuses to wear a hearing aid, they barely converse. When she faces another loss, she realizes she must let her daughter know about a family secret – in person – so she heads to visit her in Russia.
I read Linda Smolkin’s first book, Among The Branded, and enjoyed the book. Smolkin let me know about her second novel, The Secret We Lost, and I added it to my to-read list. It was a good book to pick for the adult summer reading program at the library to fill the “book you own but haven’t read yet” category.
The man sitting next to Elsa on her flight gives her his number and wants to meet with her in Russia. She agrees and enjoys the date. However, she doesn’t think anything can realistically work out between them as he lives in London and she in New York. When Elsa tells her daughter the family secret, she soon finds out her daughter has news of her own. Neither women react to each other’s news well and Elsa heads home with a heavy heart. She is finally open to hearing the suggestion of getting counseling to deal with the losses she has suffered. Can she learn enough to start living in the present?
The themes of love and loss, mother/daughter relationships and learning to live a full life are all found in The Secret We Lost. Elsa’s thoughts are easy to follow and I read the book in just a few days. It’s a great summer fiction read and I would recommend it to any adult looking for a good fiction novel that addresses some concrete life lessons. I look forward to Smolkin’s next novel.
Read more here: https://sarahannecarter.com/the-secre...
October 15, 2018
The story started out a bit slow for me, however, as I got deeper into the book, I found the character development added to the story. The heart of the book is a secret that has been in the family for generations. The secret of course impacts Elsa as it is her lifelong secret. However, it impacts those closest to her as well. The exploration of her relationship with her daughter Laura. The love, fear and doubt that come with mothering was very realistic. The story took the reader Russia as Laura relocated there. I enjoyed the glimpses into the culture and cities. I also liked the role that letters between mother and daughter played in the story. Overall it was an enjoyable read. Thanks to the author for the ARC for an honest review.
March 24, 2021
Throughout this book I really felt for Elsa. She seemed to feel alone even though her mother lived with her and Daughter was only living abroad.
The relationship she has with her mum was fractious and it all stemmed from grief it seemed. You can understand the hurt from both sides but Elsa was too young to know at the time.
The reason for the title of this book becomes apparent around 2 3rds of the way through and its a shock, I was expecting it to be what it was.
I love the serendipitous meeting between Alexi and Elsa, what a beautiful start that was for them.
I find psychology quite fascinating and in this book it doesn't disappoint, the effects Elsa's childhood had on her could be part 9f the reason she is seemingly a bit insecure and some of the punishments her mother gave when she was younger are what sticks in her mind. As human being we often remember the negatives that happen and not the positives.
I really love the relationship Elsa has with her Aunt, she is a breath of fresh air in her life and doesn't take things too seriously.
When Elsa opens up to her daughter about the Secret the reaction from her is not what I was expecting but thats what make reading so good.
This was a fantastic book! Thought provoking and heartbreaking but also makes you smile in parts too. I really enjoy reading the acknowledgements too as you get a bit more of an insight into why the book was written in this particular way.
The relationship she has with her mum was fractious and it all stemmed from grief it seemed. You can understand the hurt from both sides but Elsa was too young to know at the time.
The reason for the title of this book becomes apparent around 2 3rds of the way through and its a shock, I was expecting it to be what it was.
I love the serendipitous meeting between Alexi and Elsa, what a beautiful start that was for them.
I find psychology quite fascinating and in this book it doesn't disappoint, the effects Elsa's childhood had on her could be part 9f the reason she is seemingly a bit insecure and some of the punishments her mother gave when she was younger are what sticks in her mind. As human being we often remember the negatives that happen and not the positives.
I really love the relationship Elsa has with her Aunt, she is a breath of fresh air in her life and doesn't take things too seriously.
When Elsa opens up to her daughter about the Secret the reaction from her is not what I was expecting but thats what make reading so good.
This was a fantastic book! Thought provoking and heartbreaking but also makes you smile in parts too. I really enjoy reading the acknowledgements too as you get a bit more of an insight into why the book was written in this particular way.
October 7, 2018
I received an advance copy from the author. This novel follows the story of Elsa, a middle-aged woman sandwiched between the needs of her aging mother and of her young adult daughter, who moves to Russia in search of adventure. When Elsa decides to reveal a long-held family secret to her daughter, the fall-out causes her to process her own unresolved grief and relationships. Parts of the book set in Russia also show fascinating glimpses of 1990s life. I am not a huge fan of “family drama” novels and ended up skimming to the end. But if you enjoy reading about family secrets and the journey to understand one’s own self, you’ll enjoy this book.
January 4, 2019
Lovely tale of mothers and daughters
The Secret We Lost is a wonderful emotional tale of Elsa, a mother who sees her daughter move away and soon after loses her own mother. Suddenly alone, she must finally deal with the grief she has held on to for so long. Her growth and acceptance of herself was an interesting read.
The Secret We Lost is a wonderful emotional tale of Elsa, a mother who sees her daughter move away and soon after loses her own mother. Suddenly alone, she must finally deal with the grief she has held on to for so long. Her growth and acceptance of herself was an interesting read.
Displaying 1 - 17 of 17 reviews