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A Better Place: A Memoir of Peace in the Face of Tragedy
Pati Navalta Poblete's world is shattered when her 23-year-old son, Robby, is violently killed. She blames God, gun violence and the town where he was born and died, even herself. Two years later, she shares how Robby’s death was transformative for her and many others -- including their family and friends, and even the first journalist on the scene.
The Bay Area native takes the reader on a raw, heartbreaking journey from the scene of the crime, to a Buddhist monastery in Northern California, to Asia where she travels for work, to Robby’s favorite beach in Hawaii to mark the first anniversary of his death -- everywhere she goes trying to make sense of what has happened. Along the way, she offers glimpses into her and Robby’s lives, underscoring what makes his loss so tragic and why every loss such as his matters.
The Bay Area native takes the reader on a raw, heartbreaking journey from the scene of the crime, to a Buddhist monastery in Northern California, to Asia where she travels for work, to Robby’s favorite beach in Hawaii to mark the first anniversary of his death -- everywhere she goes trying to make sense of what has happened. Along the way, she offers glimpses into her and Robby’s lives, underscoring what makes his loss so tragic and why every loss such as his matters.
- GenresNonfictionMemoir
Kindle Edition
Published May 22, 2018
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Displaying 1 - 12 of 12 reviews
May 28, 2018
I read this book again recently (in fact, I just finished it this morning) because I had read an early version of the book back when Ms. Poblete was writing it. This copy I ordered from Amazon, an official copy of the first edition. My feelings about the book have not changed from my original impressions. This version is more - that is the only difference. More detail, more story, more journey alongside Pati. The book is a generous gift to anyone who grieves (all of us) and an offering to everyone to seek a deeper, more complex understanding of the world around us. I can't say enough times how much I wish everyone would read this book.
--mf 5/28/2018
I was fortunate enough to be able to read an advance proof copy of this book. Here's my reaction:
When you are looking for something to take the pain away, something to stick into the hollow that grief and suffering have made in the center of your body, the first thought is: I want to talk to someone who understands. But you look around and you know how impossible that is. Of course you don't want to talk--what is there to say? And who could understand anyway? Everyone's grief is so specific and unique...That realization of how separate we all feel makes that hollow bigger.
And then, something comes, that connects you: a movie. A song. An embrace. A painting. The beauty of a winning lay-up. The unasked-for, unexpected kindness of a stranger. A book.
Why does it work? Why does it make you feel...for lack of a better word, better? Because these broken hearts that have made something and give it, ask for nothing in return. When you receive it, you feel only love, not conditions. You feel no burden of debt. Their gifts are an invitation to your hollow: let your emptiness meet my emptiness and together we'll have something new. Pati's book bends grief into love, like light through a prism transforms into a rainbow.
If you've ever felt loss or grief for any reason, this book is a sure balm and a compelling read.
--mf 5/28/2018
I was fortunate enough to be able to read an advance proof copy of this book. Here's my reaction:
When you are looking for something to take the pain away, something to stick into the hollow that grief and suffering have made in the center of your body, the first thought is: I want to talk to someone who understands. But you look around and you know how impossible that is. Of course you don't want to talk--what is there to say? And who could understand anyway? Everyone's grief is so specific and unique...That realization of how separate we all feel makes that hollow bigger.
And then, something comes, that connects you: a movie. A song. An embrace. A painting. The beauty of a winning lay-up. The unasked-for, unexpected kindness of a stranger. A book.
Why does it work? Why does it make you feel...for lack of a better word, better? Because these broken hearts that have made something and give it, ask for nothing in return. When you receive it, you feel only love, not conditions. You feel no burden of debt. Their gifts are an invitation to your hollow: let your emptiness meet my emptiness and together we'll have something new. Pati's book bends grief into love, like light through a prism transforms into a rainbow.
If you've ever felt loss or grief for any reason, this book is a sure balm and a compelling read.
May 11, 2018
Every day on average 96 people are killed by guns in the US. Today someone was killed with a gun here in Sacramento, but it most likely never made the national news. I only know because I randomly read one of my Nextdoor emails just now. Gun violence has become so normal in the US that we rarely hear about the murders, suicides, and accidental deaths that happen every single day. It’s become so commonplace that our children have to go through active shooter lockdown drills from preschool onwards. But it’s still easier for a minor to purchase an assault rifle than it is for them to buy a beer in many states! Gun violence has become our norm, but people incomprehensibly still lobby against changing laws that would bring the numbers of deaths and violence down.
Not a stranger to the ravages of gun violence, Pati Navalta Poblete suffers it firsthand when her son Robby is murdered in their hometown of Vallejo in 2014. A Better Place is Pati’s personal memoir of dealing with such a sudden and traumatic loss, losing a child who had everything to look forward to in life in such a terrible moment of violence. Pati writes so beautifully and eloquently (I’m not surprised that she has been nominated twice for a Pulitzer Prize for her journalism), but also with brutal honesty. She doesn’t hold back on how her son’s death transformed her, and how she manages to claw her way back to life herself, step by step. Both heartbreaking and full of hope, A Better Place is the story of terrible sadness, but also redemption, forgiveness, and peace.
I’ve lost enough loved ones in sudden and tragic ways, and related to a lot of Pati’s journey in A Better Place. I must admit that I cried through a lot of this book, and had to put it aside a few times and take a breather, not because it was too much, but because I needed to think about Pati’s words and find my own meaning for them in my own experiences. By reading Pati’s personal journey through grief I also gained some clarity in mine. I specifically found her plan to undertake certain activities that her son would have done, even when they took her out of her personal comfort zone, to be so brave and so comforting at the same time – and I think this is something that I think I might do myself at some point.
I loved how Pati weaves little stories about Robby into the narrative, which helps us as readers see the person he was. I also love how she finally took her grief and pain and used it towards something that will make a change in the community. The Robby Poblete Foundation is a brilliant concept and I can’t wait to hear about the artwork that will be created from all of the guns that are collected during buybacks.
Thank you Pati Navalta Poblete and Nothing But The Truth Publishing for this heartbreaking, beautifully written, and necessary piece of work. A Better Place comes out on May 15th, and in my opinion is a must read.
“Life is not fair or unfair. It is not kind or unkind. It just is.”
Not a stranger to the ravages of gun violence, Pati Navalta Poblete suffers it firsthand when her son Robby is murdered in their hometown of Vallejo in 2014. A Better Place is Pati’s personal memoir of dealing with such a sudden and traumatic loss, losing a child who had everything to look forward to in life in such a terrible moment of violence. Pati writes so beautifully and eloquently (I’m not surprised that she has been nominated twice for a Pulitzer Prize for her journalism), but also with brutal honesty. She doesn’t hold back on how her son’s death transformed her, and how she manages to claw her way back to life herself, step by step. Both heartbreaking and full of hope, A Better Place is the story of terrible sadness, but also redemption, forgiveness, and peace.
I’ve lost enough loved ones in sudden and tragic ways, and related to a lot of Pati’s journey in A Better Place. I must admit that I cried through a lot of this book, and had to put it aside a few times and take a breather, not because it was too much, but because I needed to think about Pati’s words and find my own meaning for them in my own experiences. By reading Pati’s personal journey through grief I also gained some clarity in mine. I specifically found her plan to undertake certain activities that her son would have done, even when they took her out of her personal comfort zone, to be so brave and so comforting at the same time – and I think this is something that I think I might do myself at some point.
I loved how Pati weaves little stories about Robby into the narrative, which helps us as readers see the person he was. I also love how she finally took her grief and pain and used it towards something that will make a change in the community. The Robby Poblete Foundation is a brilliant concept and I can’t wait to hear about the artwork that will be created from all of the guns that are collected during buybacks.
Thank you Pati Navalta Poblete and Nothing But The Truth Publishing for this heartbreaking, beautifully written, and necessary piece of work. A Better Place comes out on May 15th, and in my opinion is a must read.
“Life is not fair or unfair. It is not kind or unkind. It just is.”
Read
April 7, 2018Inspirational, touching, honest, heart felt. Pati could have easily stayed in suffering. She dove deep to heal her self. I imagine, Its an ongoing battle, daily, to chose forgiveness over hate. Rightous indignation would have been the easy way out. Im inspiered to work harder on my own growth by choosing Love. Pati has set the example. I will work harder on a daily basis to choose forgiveness. A sweet read. I have not been touched personaly by gun violence but I have been a victim of sexual abuse. I was hooked from the intro where Pati gives us Maya Angelo, "There is no greater burden then carrying an untold story." She chooses to lay her burden down and help the rest of us become motivated to lay our burdens down, find our purpose and work toward making the world a better, safer, more heart open place to live. Go Pati!
April 17, 2018
Pati's story drew me in. I finished it within 24 hours!
Her book puts the entirety of life in wise perspective, reminding readers of what truly matters.
While I have never faced great loss as Pati has, I recognized the range of human emotion she expertly describes.
Her book puts the entirety of life in wise perspective, reminding readers of what truly matters.
While I have never faced great loss as Pati has, I recognized the range of human emotion she expertly describes.
July 23, 2018
Beautifully written, this book faithfully describes the relentless (and sometimes seemingly irrational) quest for connection that many of us experience when a loved one leaves us. After losing her son to gun violence, Pati allows us to accompany her on the journey of re-discovering her son and seeing life through his eyes. It is a candid, tender account of self discovery and hope that can inspire us all.
June 21, 2018
We would love to say that A Better Place: A Memoir of Peace in the Face of Tragedy by Pati Navalta Poblete is an excellent “How to grieve” book. We can’t because there is no such thing.
What we can say is that the author takes us through the stages she went through while coping with the sudden loss of her son from a not so random armed robbery.
While reading this, I found that there would not have been one good thing to say to this woman in an attempt to comfort her. All of the go-to things that people say, and usually mean, seemed to make her mad.
No two people grieve in the same way. There is no such thing as “Getting over it.” Poblete has found a way to help her heal, at least somewhat. Perhaps by reading this book others will see that there is nothing wrong with them. Perhaps they can see that we all grieve in our own way. Some continue to grieve the loss of a parent thirty years later and may still feel it just as intensely as if it happened just yesterday. Others may lose a child at a very young age and show little grief on the outside just a few days after the loss. This does not mean they are not hurting.
A Better Place shows us that there might not be a right thing to say to some people while they are trying to find a new normal when there is no such thing for them as a new normal.
I think the big takeaway from this book is that it is okay to not be okay. It is okay to not see the comfort offered by others. It is okay that the attempts at comfort offered by other people are not comforting to you. That doesn’t make them any less sincere. It just makes it okay for you to grieve in your own way and to heal, if possible, at your own rate.
We were sent a complimentary copy of this book. We are under no obligation to write any review, positive or negative.
We are disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission's 16 CFR, Part 255.
What we can say is that the author takes us through the stages she went through while coping with the sudden loss of her son from a not so random armed robbery.
While reading this, I found that there would not have been one good thing to say to this woman in an attempt to comfort her. All of the go-to things that people say, and usually mean, seemed to make her mad.
No two people grieve in the same way. There is no such thing as “Getting over it.” Poblete has found a way to help her heal, at least somewhat. Perhaps by reading this book others will see that there is nothing wrong with them. Perhaps they can see that we all grieve in our own way. Some continue to grieve the loss of a parent thirty years later and may still feel it just as intensely as if it happened just yesterday. Others may lose a child at a very young age and show little grief on the outside just a few days after the loss. This does not mean they are not hurting.
A Better Place shows us that there might not be a right thing to say to some people while they are trying to find a new normal when there is no such thing for them as a new normal.
I think the big takeaway from this book is that it is okay to not be okay. It is okay to not see the comfort offered by others. It is okay that the attempts at comfort offered by other people are not comforting to you. That doesn’t make them any less sincere. It just makes it okay for you to grieve in your own way and to heal, if possible, at your own rate.
We were sent a complimentary copy of this book. We are under no obligation to write any review, positive or negative.
We are disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission's 16 CFR, Part 255.
December 17, 2018
This book is for anyone who has experienced loss or wants to know how better to support others in the grieving process. I learned so much about grief through being drawn into Pati's story. She engages the reader with vivid scenes and descriptions and is incredibly open and honest about the difficult path she was forced to go down after losing her son to gun violence. Most inspiring is how she has transformed the impact of this tragedy into something hopeful: The Robby Poblete Foundation, which helps take unwanted guns out of use and turns them into art, as well as providing vocational opportunities for young people. This is the story we need to broaden the conversation on the impact of guns in our communities. Pati's journey will both break your heart and heal it.
~Courtney Tait
~Courtney Tait
June 4, 2018
Pati's memoir demonstrates the soul's strength and resiliency even through the darkest of human experiences. The author's story of violence and loss is riveting, while her journey to find peace is inspiring. I highly recommend this book to those finding their own way through their struggles. Thank you Pati Poblete for sharing your story to the world.
June 13, 2018
Mental notes:
Unfortunate loss
Struggle to hold oneself up
Sadness, depression
inner strength
community support, FAMILY
moral questioning
Moving forward - A story to tell
Uplift
To a better place
Unfortunate loss
Struggle to hold oneself up
Sadness, depression
inner strength
community support, FAMILY
moral questioning
Moving forward - A story to tell
Uplift
To a better place
October 14, 2018
A Better Place is a compelling, very well constructed, heartfelt book that I will be sure to never forget. In this finely written memoir Pati Navalta Poblete tells the story of how she learned to move beyond grief to a place of peace after the murder of her 23 year old son Robby.
First, let me start by saying, this book was provided by the publisher in exchange for an honest review. When I decided to write this review, I had no idea how emotionally moved I would be by this story. I could not have ever imagined that Poblete's story would articulate my own experiences so precisely, that it felt as if she had written parts of my experience as I learned to process the unexpected death of my loved one.
A powerful memoir, Poblete does a phenomenal job of taking the reader on her quest as she learned more about her son after his death. By the end of the book I felt like I knew Robby. My heart ached for all the pain the author endured.
There were so many moments in this book that resonated with me. For instance, Poblete writes about not wanting to return to her home town, and also not wanting to talk to people she had known for many years, after her son's murder. She didn't want to see or talk to these people because they were emotional triggers. They caused her heart to ache. Therefore, she wanted to avoid them. Sadly, I understood her feelings all too well. But, this was the first time I had ever heard someone besides myself ever admit to feeling this way. It was transparent moments such as this one that allowed me to connect so deeply with this book.
What I liked most about the book is that Poblete shared her complete journey. There is a defined beginning, middle & end to her experience. And by the end of the book the reader is able to see how the author learned to heal her pain and find peace with Robby's death. Her story had a glimpse of light at the end of her painful tunnel.
Overall, I found this to be a very well written memoir. Pati Navalta Poblete is truly a gifted writer. I highly recommend this book, especially for anyone that’s working to move beyond the pain of losing a loved one.
First, let me start by saying, this book was provided by the publisher in exchange for an honest review. When I decided to write this review, I had no idea how emotionally moved I would be by this story. I could not have ever imagined that Poblete's story would articulate my own experiences so precisely, that it felt as if she had written parts of my experience as I learned to process the unexpected death of my loved one.
A powerful memoir, Poblete does a phenomenal job of taking the reader on her quest as she learned more about her son after his death. By the end of the book I felt like I knew Robby. My heart ached for all the pain the author endured.
There were so many moments in this book that resonated with me. For instance, Poblete writes about not wanting to return to her home town, and also not wanting to talk to people she had known for many years, after her son's murder. She didn't want to see or talk to these people because they were emotional triggers. They caused her heart to ache. Therefore, she wanted to avoid them. Sadly, I understood her feelings all too well. But, this was the first time I had ever heard someone besides myself ever admit to feeling this way. It was transparent moments such as this one that allowed me to connect so deeply with this book.
What I liked most about the book is that Poblete shared her complete journey. There is a defined beginning, middle & end to her experience. And by the end of the book the reader is able to see how the author learned to heal her pain and find peace with Robby's death. Her story had a glimpse of light at the end of her painful tunnel.
Overall, I found this to be a very well written memoir. Pati Navalta Poblete is truly a gifted writer. I highly recommend this book, especially for anyone that’s working to move beyond the pain of losing a loved one.
October 16, 2018
A difficult, but necessary book.
October 12, 2018
I would like to start my review by saying how much I praise the author of this book for having the courage and for being so generous to the point of sharing her own personal struggles and experiences with a large audience, and I’m more than grateful to be part of this audience.
“A Better Place” is a memoir written by Pati Navalta Poblete who takes us through her journey from being blessed by two children to losing one of them due to gun violence to the long path of recovering from the trauma. Instead of telling you what the book is about, I rather talk about what I’ve learned reading while reading,
The way people recover from a traumatic experience certainly differs from one human to another, the author of the book followed her son’s ambitious and hobbies to, from cycling to meditation to cooking, she found the connection she needed with her son and I found that beyond empowering. The author developed her own means of recovery, putting love and passion into basketball and gardening, shows that strength comes within us as well as from the people we love.
I learned while reading this book that questioning what we believe in is a necessity to overcome the confusion, that forgiving the criminal (in this case) cannot be achieved only by forgiving one’s self first.
“A Better Place” is not only a memoir but also a self-help book for the people who are struggling to find peace.
“A Better Place” is a memoir written by Pati Navalta Poblete who takes us through her journey from being blessed by two children to losing one of them due to gun violence to the long path of recovering from the trauma. Instead of telling you what the book is about, I rather talk about what I’ve learned reading while reading,
The way people recover from a traumatic experience certainly differs from one human to another, the author of the book followed her son’s ambitious and hobbies to, from cycling to meditation to cooking, she found the connection she needed with her son and I found that beyond empowering. The author developed her own means of recovery, putting love and passion into basketball and gardening, shows that strength comes within us as well as from the people we love.
I learned while reading this book that questioning what we believe in is a necessity to overcome the confusion, that forgiving the criminal (in this case) cannot be achieved only by forgiving one’s self first.
“A Better Place” is not only a memoir but also a self-help book for the people who are struggling to find peace.
Displaying 1 - 12 of 12 reviews