In this moving memoir about the power of friendship and the resilience of the human spirit, Amy Silverstein tells the story of the extraordinary group of women who supported her as she waited on the precipice for a life-saving heart transplant.
Nearly twenty-six years after receiving her first heart transplant, Amy Silverstein’s donor heart plummeted into failure. If she wanted to live, she had to take on the grueling quest for a new heart—immediately.
A shot at survival meant uprooting her life and moving across the country to California. When her friends heard of her plans, there was only one reaction: “I’m there.” Nine remarkable women—Joy, Jill, Leja, Jody, Lauren, Robin, Valerie, Ann, and Jane—put demanding jobs and pressing family obligations on hold to fly across the country and be by Amy’s side. Creating a calendar spreadsheet, the women—some of them strangers to one another—passed the baton of friendship, one to the next, and headed straight and strong into the battle to help save Amy’s life.
Empowered by the kind of empathy that can only grow with age, these women, each knowing Amy from different stages of her life, banded together to provide her with something that medicine alone could not. Sleeping on a cot beside her bed, they rubbed her back and feet when the pain was unbearable, adorned her room with death-distracting decorations, and engaged in their “best talks ever.” They saw the true measure of their friend’s strength, and they each responded in kind.
My Glory Was I Had SuchFriends is a tribute to these women and the intense hours they spent together—hours of heightened emotion and self-awareness, where everything was laid bare. Candid and heartrending, this once-in-a-lifetime story of connection and empathy is a powerful reminder of the ultimate importance of “showing up” for those we love.
Amy Silverstein is the author of the new book, MY GLORY WAS I HAD SUCH FRENDS (June, 2017, HarperCollins)—an intimate celebration of the power of women's friendship—as well as the highly acclaimed memoir Sick Girl, (2007, Grove Atlantic) a courageous, unforgettable self-portrait and riveting account of the quest to survive against all odds. Sick Girl was voted winner of the Books for a Better Life award and a finalist for the Borders Original Voices award. Author, attorney, and speaker Amy Silverstein was a vibrant, energetic 24-year-old student when she learned she had a failing heart; suddenly, it was heart transplant or die. At 25, she underwent heart transplant surgery and, amazingly, her new heart beat strong for nearly three decades, despite a ten-year prognosis. A graduate of NYU School of Law (she finished her degree after her transplant), Silverstein practiced corporate law prior to beginning her writing career. She also served several years on the board of the United Network of Organ Sharing (UNOS), a federally contracted transplant network, and is an active speaker and writer on women's health issues and patient advocacy.
It is rare to read a book and feel grateful to have read it. Not in the "that was a great book!" sense but in a "this book is changing me for the better" way.
I'm going to admit right off the bat I had high hopes for this memoir. A celebration of friendship and an insider's look at illness and dying? SOLD. I was pretty sure I'd like it but truly, it exceeded all expectations and that is all because of the author.
Amy Silverstein had a heart transplant at age 25 in 1988. At the time, her doctors predicted she might live another 10 years at best. Instead 26 years passed, during which time Amy married her husband Scott (who proposed while she was in the hospital awaiting the transplant!), finished her law degree, adopted a son, and amassed a wonderful collection of friends.
People think once you get a heart transplant, life goes back to normal but Amy shows this is not the case. While she's lived a full life, she's also had to be vigilant about her health, dealing with numerous hospitalizations and close calls along the way. There's so much I hadn't realized about post-transplant life. When the book begins, she's learned her transplanted heart is failing and she'll need to undergo another transplant. This is not an easy decision for her and she does not hold back on taking readers through her mindset about whether to take on the odds.
After hearing about her medical history, I have no idea what decision I would have made in her shoes. In the end, she decides to go for it and her friends immediately rally around her. Since Amy and Scott will have to relocate to LA for several months, nine of her friends decide they will take turns flying out and keeping Amy company while she waits for a heart.
Talk about greater love!
I don't know if I've ever read a memoir that details the dynamics of a group of friends. Often friendship memoirs focus on one friend or if they mention more, those friends are not connected to one another. Amy's friends come from different parts of her life- childhood to law school to where she lives- and most have met before or are even close friends themselves. I loved seeing how they related to one another and how their bond grew as they supported Amy.
We learn about each friend- how Amy knew them, what made their friendship unique, their personality and some of their history. We see how they support Amy and when they get it wrong. It is a beautiful and loving portrayal of friendship. It made me think about how I support my friends and what I will do when my friends go through chronic or terminal illness. (I say "when" because it is bound to happen. I've walked alongside enough family members to know that.)
This is an honest and unflinching portrayal of friendship and end of life issues. Her friends fight some of her medical decisions and do not always listen to her exhaustion in the face of her illness. They don't want her to give up, yes, but sometimes they forget to respect what she's gone through. Getting to listen in on the resulting conversations was powerful. Amy does not always come across as the best and admits it but we also get to see her grow and learn through the process of how sick she gets and as she confronts her mortality. At the same time, there is a lot of light in this book. I laughed out loud a couple of times and I cannot emphasize enough how much I loved Amy's husband and friends. The sacrifices they made (that they do not view as sacrifices) inspired me.
Amy is a gifted writer and I'm so glad not only that she received a new heart in time but that she was able to write this account for us. It was incredibly moving and life-affirming. I will be encouraging my friends to read it and I'll be reflecting on its message for some time to come.
The title- a line from Yeats- is apt. May we all be so blessed.
Disclosure: I received an ARC from HarperCollins and TLC Book Tours in exchange for an honest review.
I really hate to give low ratings to memoirs. This book didn't make me laugh, cry or care. The author was whiny and self absorbed. Yes, she wrote about her friends, but their characters were not well-enough developed in this book for me to tell one from another, with one exception. I wish her well and I wish her old age.
I feel guilty as hell that as moving and brave as Silverstein’s story is, I just could not connect with the book. And I really feel like shit about it! Damn....
I read Amy Silverstein’s first memoir, SICK GIRL (2001,GrovePress), which she wrote after living more than seventeen years after getting a heart transplant at twenty-five. Doctors at the time, didn’t give her more than ten years. Nearly twenty-six years after receiving her first heart transplant, her donor heart began failing and she needed a new heart immediately if she expected to live. Her new memoir, MY GLORY WAS I TRULY HAD SUCH FRIENDS (HarperWave) is the story of nine remarkable women: Joy, Jill, Leja, Jody, Lauren, Robin, Valerie, Ann and Jane who supported Amy daily, while she waited for her new heart. At first, her friends didn’t know one another, they lived across the country, but they had one singular goal – to be by their best friend’s side, while she was hospitalized first in New York City and then Los Angeles. A spreadsheet was produced making sure one of the nine women were with Amy. Whether on a cot in the hospital, holding her hand, rubbing her feet and back when the pain was grueling, applying lotion, every moment she was hospitalized she had a friend by her side. The women had their own obligations, family, children, careers, but put everything on hold while they rallied around their friend. “Our empathy had not ripened at twenty-five. At fifty, it had.” MY GLORY WAS I HAD SUCH FRIENDS shares how these women, each knowing Amy from different stages of their lives, recognizing Amy’s strength banded together sharing a sisterhood that only comes with age. These nine women didn’t talk about wanting to help, they showed up. Joy, Jill, Leja, Jody, Lauren, Robin, Valerie, Ann and Jane lived an example of how important it is for us to show up for the ones we love. I kept crying while reading MY GLORY IS I HAD SUCH FRIENDS. These women, or angels, as I’d call them are incredible. What a blessing for Amy to have such devoted, selfless friends. Once you start reading MY GLORY IS I HAD SUCH FRIENDS, you won’t stop and once you’re finished, you will be grateful for … well everything. It’s important to note, that Amy’s husband, Scott was with her every step during this experience, but Amy chose to focus on her girlfriends for this memoir.
This was a well written book, however some of the storylines were a bit much. The author's privilege of being able to relocate with her husband across the country to wait for a transplant was a bit much for me since this economic capacity was never fully acknowledged as something that not all of us have. Additionally not all of us have friends who can walk away from their lives for days or weeks at a time to travel to be at one's bedside.
With that caveat, I thought it was a decent read. I would have preferred it to be more medical memoir than the sometimes tedious stories about her upper middle class friends, but it seems like that was covered in "Sick Girl," which I would like to read as a result of this book.
This book came recommended as a wow..must read. The premise - girlfriends come together to help their dear friend through a heart transplant - seemed like it might be inspiring, but about 1/4 into the way through the book, I realized this wasn't about friends, it was all. about. the author. And I didn't care for her personality, let alone how she treated those around her. I stuck with it, aiming for compassion, even sympathy, given the very difficult circumstances she faced, hoping for a transformation or something redeeming, but that never happened.
In the book "Sick Girl" Author Amy Silverstein wrote about her needing a heart transplant at 25. Nearly 26 years later and Amy is indeed a very sick girl (woman) as her transplanted heart is failing and she needs another heart transplant. Although this is a memoir of sickness and health, more importantly, it's about Amy's friends who organize to take care of her at her very lowest. Readers of strong female friendships and/or medical stories will devour this memoir.
In my "Eight People in the World I'd Invite to Dinner" this author is #2.
There really aren't good words to describe what Amy Silverstein does in her writing. You've simply got to experience it. She lives on the page, and does it honestly. I waited for this book -- this next update -- for years, after having been affected by Sick Girl, her previous book. While I don't want her to have to suffer, I want to hear more from her.
A memoir - Amy is waiting for a donor heart after her first transplant is failing after 25 years. The story is about her many friends who support her as she waits. Definitely worth reading!
An intimate and self aware memoir unlike any I’ve read, Amy Silverstein’s My Glory Was I Had Such Friends is the most honest and inspiring book of the year.
Silverstein paints a vivid picture of friendship and its ability to motivate us through the most taxing and emotionally devastating times in our lives. The world within the walls of Silverstein’s California hospital room is a sanctuary where privacy is nonexistent and conversations about death, pain, and the limits of true love are encouraged. Silverstein’s frustration, anger, exhaustion, and emotional fortitude are so frank and shockingly sincere that it felt at many times as if I was peering into her personal diary.
The beauty in this book does not lie in the mystery of whether Silverstein will survive. It is self-evident that she outlives her failing heart, and receives a second, live-saving transplant. Instead, the individual conversations with the nine women who sit by her side as she waits for a new heart cause us to reflect on our own relationships, health, and what it means to unequivocally support those we love.
In fact, what separates My Glory Was I Had Such Friends from other hospital memoirs is the care with which Silverstein details the nine women who visit her. These are strong women, fiercely loyal, and imperfect. Filled with empathy and understanding, Silverstein crafts the few days she shares with each woman into a literary portrait; a snapshot of a few powerful days, where a goodbye could very well be goodbye forever.
Amy Silverstein draws you into her world in this glorious book. Yet, the real magic is that, when you put it down, you will immediately pick up the phone, call a friend, and tell them that you love them.
I liked a lot of this and DID NOT LIKE other parts of this, so this is a little hard to right. Off the bat, I think it got a little lengthy in parts - especially since so much of it is medical stuff (obviously). Amy also was such a bonehead at some instances, which she readily admits, that it was challenging for me not to feel a little twinge of annoyance at her.
But, at the end of the day, this was such a powerful account of the power of female friendship. I was particularly struck by her realization that she had been a terrible friend at times, and that when they were younger these same friends didn't flock to her side nearly as strongly as they did now. As someone closer in age to her first transplant age (25) than when this book takes place (50), I took it as a lesson for how I live my own life and support my friends. And what an ending! I'm so happy that is how Amy's life has turned out.
I’ve read a lot of great books in my lifetime, but it’s rare that I read a book that actually changes my life.
This memoir by Amy Silverstein is a must-read for everyone. Whether or not you think you like memoirs, I don’t care – put this on your list, right now.
My Glory Was I Had Such Friends is about life, death, love, and friendship. As Amy sits in a hospital bed with a failing donor heart on the other side of the country from her home in New York, nine of her friends sign up for time slots to come and stay with her in California as she waits for a second transplant. Her first transplant was when she was only 26 years old, and now at 50, that donor heart is so diseased, Amy is dying quickly.
What makes this book amazing is the story of these women who come together to care for their friend. It’s interesting to read about how much more willing they are to give of their time and energy as 50 year olds than they were when she was 25 and had her first transplant. Many times she says something about how they were all young and stupid and didn’t know any better. Haven’t we all been there? And it’s a good reminder to always make the call to say you’re sorry, always go to the funeral, always do something helpful without waiting to be asked. And while I appreciate her honesty about her state of mind and her condition, what makes it hard to read is just how mean and terrible she is to her friends and her husband. She doesn’t sugarcoat her behavior, but it’s still hard to read.
When I watched a segment on a Sunday Morning News show I knew I had to read Amy Silverstein's book. I don't cry when I read a book but this time the tears of joy couldn't be held back. An amazing story, & my sympathy & gratitude to the donors family.
Well, this book packs quite a powerful punch to the heart. Amy Silverstein bares all as she invites us into her world as she prepares for her second heart transplant. And while she has lots of doubts and ambivalences as to what she’s about to go through, her friends are all in to support her. But I am not sure ‘friends’ is the right word as the level of care, support and camaraderie these women provided in her time of most need was nothing short of lifesaving. These women rallied around her, connected together and saw her through an incredibly difficult time in her life, posing all sorts of questions about what it means to be a friend, how friendship stands the test of time and the kind of friend we want to be to others, too. But this was not just an ode to friendship, it was an incredibly moving memoir about one woman’s fight to life a live well-lived on her own terms. Get the tissues and appreciate your beating heart.
Wow. Her story is heartbreaking, shattering, and sad, yet hopeful and so wrapped in friendship and support. Amy’s journey with heart transplant and all that comes with that is hard to read at times, but the book is well written and I loved the descriptions of her friends. I want to be even half as good to my friends as Amy’s friends were to her. They were true, true friends to each other in the darkest of times. What an incredible journey and story.
Silverstein writes with great wit, humor, love, and honesty. WOW! I laughed and I cried. Heart-warming to read about such a great circle of women. Women ROCK when it comes to friendship in a time of need. Loved this book!
This is an honest book about the realities of everything to do with a heart transplant and retransplant, and especially the agency the patient needs to have making decisions that will have an impact on her but also on family and friends. She provides much for readers to think about.
Beautiful story, I especially loved the trueness of someone facing death and having the ability to put words to the emotions, but it was almost clunky in its delivery.
The beginning might have been condensed a bit, but it's damn near impossible not to tear up at the end. Amy comes across as honest in her assessment of herself, and her struggles to be a "good patient". Obviously she lives, because she wrote this book. This book is a good lesson in empathy... she can be hard to empathize with at times, but can you blame her for her reactions after all the medical crises she's gone through?
An insightful book that caused me to take a deeper look into the emotions and struggles of someone who has a serious illness. We watch as each of Amy's friends comes to be with her during her agonizing wait for a heart transplant. Each one ministers to Amy's needs in her own way.
It's hard to put into words the emotions I felt as these friends slogged through the hardest stuff-together. Highly recommend..
This riveting memoir speaks of an incredibly vigorous and strong woman who defied expectations in the face of death as she awaited her second heart transplant. More than that, it’s a story of how she learned to lay down her armor and allow her nine friends to care for her as she faced issues beyond her strength and ability to control.
This book made me thankful for three things: first, for every oxygenated breath and heartbeat I experience; second, for the strength of my friend who faced a second transplant next year; and third, for personalities that depend on strength yet have the courage to open themselves up to love.
I absolutely loved this memoir. I read Sick Girl when it came out and was very happy to learn that this time around, Silverstein feels good most of the time. The book is beautifully written and I laughed and cried with the author as she describes her friends and their time together in her hospital room. Silverstein is an inspiring woman as well as one of the most honest authors I have ever read; she is not afraid to present herself as she really is. I don't think anyone who has not been through it can really understand what it feels like to know that death is right around the corner, but the author does a wonderful job of showing readers her state of mind. One thing I can say for sure is that this is one incredible woman who must be incredibly special to have so many friends in her corner. It made me wonder if I would have nearly the same support in that circumstance. This tribute to friendship makes it clear that Silverstein must be a wonderful person and friend to all those who dropped everything to be with her in her wait for a new heart.
I really liked My Glory Was I Had Such Friends: by Amy Silverstein. I also had read Sick Girl by Amy Silverstein and thoroughly enjoyed it. My Glory Was I Had Such Friends is a continuation of Sick Girl and covers her heart retransplant 26 years later. This book talks about her nine friends that committed their time and energy to stay with Amy & her husband, in California, prior to her heart retransplant. The book is very inspiring and shows the deep love of friends.
I highly recommend this book to readers who like: memoirs, medical stories, stories about strong female friends and love.
An amazing story of courage and perseverance, and what the human spirit can do. Told with honesty, the memoir reveals several lessons, not only of the author but also of her friendships. This book will most likely change the way you view your relationship with friends and God forbid you face severe health challenges, maybe this book will help you there as well. It provides quite a look into living with an organ (heart) transplant that I'm sure few of us could even imagine.