Better Apart: The Radically Positive Way to Separate

by Gabrielle Hartley, Elena Brower

“Potent, accessible tools for your family and your future.” —Gwyneth Paltrow

Marital strife and divorce can be your chance to profoundly transform yourself, your mindset and your relationship with a more harmonious and steady vision. 

While many of us may be better together, some of us can actually become better apart.

What if you emerged from your divorce stronger and more resilient than ever before? Better Apart is the first book to apply the life-changing, healing wisdom of meditation and yoga, combined with practical advice, to help anyone going through the painful and seemingly intractable realities of divorce.

Gabrielle Hartley and Elena Brower are warm and caring guides who can help you compassionately part from your partner. Whether your separation is amicable, or your ex is combative, Better Apart can help you find peace, calm, and hope. Blending practical advice from a legal perspective together with spiritual wisdom, Gabrielle and Elena are experts and realists who have created a simple five-step process that uses original meditations, perspective-shifting exercises, and fresh suggestions to help navigate the common legal and emotional pitfalls of divorce. Don’t worry if you’ve never tried yoga or mediation; Gabrielle’s insight buttressed by Elena’s practices and exercises are accessible for all. Together, they show you how to meaningfully shift your mindset and to move forward though any—or all—parts of this emotionally fraught process.

Better Apart radically reframes the way couples experience, execute, and recover from when “for better or worse” is no longer an option, and helps you find the road to a new mindset and better life.

Genres: Divorce, Nonfiction

244 pages, Kindle Edition

Published January 29, 2019

Reviews

[Steve Sarner · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have several friends thinking about and/or beginning the process of separating and divorcing and a few asked me for book recommendations. I knew of Hartley's book coming out and was able to obtain an advance copy. I found it to be a very easy and refreshing read with plenty of practical advice and, surprisingly, a lot of very well crafted and important psychological information too.

The authors have seen it all and clearly detail various scenarios, applications and outcomes. Anyone who is in this situation (many) will benefit greatly from reading this book in more ways than they would expect.

[Jennifer · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is such a positive resource in the area of family law and divorce. Written for regular people traversing the emotional upheaval of divorce proceedings and co-parenting after separation, it offers five practical cornerstones of how to move through the process with grace, elegance and stability for children.

I am a family lawyer in Australia, and whilst written by a US attorney with Meditation teacher and Yogini Elena Brower (who shares her own intimate experiences and personal growth through her divorce), the concepts will equally benefit people here in Australia.

It is a beautiful work that has already reminded me that, in an area of law that is often unfair and unpredictable, the only thing I do have control over is myself. And, through practising and integrating the state of peace, patience, clarity and wisdom that this book guides people toward, then the parents and children I represent will have a such a better chance of moving through the system toward a healthy and happy life. And that is my ultimate goal.

[Lux Cunningham · Rating 5 out of 5]

This transformative, revolutionary book is like nothing else in the divorce space. Positively stuffed with compassionate, innovative, and PRACTICAL wisdom for people whose marriages are no longer bringing out the best in either partner, Better Apart will allow all stakeholders--from attorneys and therapists to marital partners and the separating or already divorced--to turn what is usually a destructive ordeal into a generative, rewarding (if often challenging) growth process. There's a rich trove of insight here for all individuals and families looking to heal relationships with grace--and for professionals looking to help their clients do the same.

[Taylor Marie · Rating 5 out of 5]

THE BOOK YOU NEED—especially if you’re considering a divorce or currently preparing for/going through one. I read this book as a therapist who helps individuals who are going through a divorce so I can better serve them from an educated perspective. Even though I am not, nor ever was, going through a divorce, this book was incredibly enlightening to me about the process and also what it means to separate from someone or something in ANY scenario.

At first I struggled with all of the compassion, patience, forgiveness, etc. parts that felt overly happy and positive to me, but after rolling with this resistance, I was able to see a whole new perspective on serparation in general. It actually helped me learn from past separations in my life as well.

The most important part to take home is that Better Apart really allows the reader to find the best, most healthy ways to separate. Better Apart assists in finding a process that works for everyone, despite how murky the situation has become. Better Apart also puts a strong emphasis on YOU and how to take care of yourself specifically as it relates to separation/divorce, so the information is very relevant and applicable.

Anyone who is concerned about the technicalities of divorce, this book provides and great starting point as well.

Great book overall!!

[Anna Fitzgerald · Rating 3 out of 5]

The material enclosed is not novel and often reads like a transmediation book. I believe it is valuable to remember what is being said in the heat of stressful moments and evaluations but I don't believe I learned anything here. Is being reminded to breathe enough to put the time into this book. Perhaps but skipping through chapters and using it as a quick remember guide is a better use of your time.

[Cathi Hanauer · Rating 5 out of 5]

A smart, helpful book about parting with maturity and compassion. Every person contemplating (or going through) divorce, or helping others who are, should read this book!

[Margaret Jeffers · Rating 3 out of 5]

Listened to audio version. Horrible vocal talent. Strident and unpleasant to the extent that it detracts severely from the content which is excellent.

[Suzanne Vickberg · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is an excellent book about how to have a better divorce. If you’ve been faced with divorce yourself or witnessed a loved one going through it, then you’ll understand just why that’s so important. Many people think divorce, by definition, is a terrible thing, and while it often is, it doesn’t have to be. Hartley, a mediator and family law attorney, and Brower, a yoga and meditation teacher, talk you through the five states of being that can change the experience for you: patience, respect, clarity, peace, and forgiveness. They don’t pretend it will be easy, but they offer practical advice on how you can work toward these states. Advice on allowing yourself to grieve, surrounding yourself with those who nourish you, visualizing what you want, choosing your battles, letting go, and so many other things. Their unique partnership allows them to offer wide-ranging guidance from the legal aspects of divorce to the emotional aspects. From how to choose the right attorney to how to breathe through it all. If your marriage is heading for divorce, this book will give you hope and support you in aspiring to something far better than the typical divorce. I have a better divorce myself, so I know it’s possible.

[Vovka · Rating 3 out of 5]

A positively woo-woo guide to positive separation/divorce. I liked it -- strongly advocates for mature and conscious behavior.