Resiliencia. Serie Inteligencia Emocional HBR

by Harvard Business Review, Begoña Merino Gómez (Translator)

How do some people bounce back with vigor from daily setbacks, professional crises, or even intense personal trauma?

This book reveals the key traits of those who emerge stronger from challenges, helps you train your brain to withstand the stresses of daily life, and presents an approach to an effective career reboot.

This volume includes the work of:

Daniel GolemanJeffrey A. SonnenfeldShawn AchorThis collection of articles includes "How Resilience Works," by Diane Coutu; "Resilience for the Rest of Us," by Daniel Goleman; "How to Evaluate, Manage, and Strengthen Your Resilience," by David Kopans; "Find the Coaching in Criticism," by Sheila Heen and Douglas Stone; "Firing Back: How Great Leaders Rebound After Career Disasters," by Jeffrey A. Sonnenfeld and Andrew J. Ward; and "Resilience Is About How You Recharge, Not How You Endure," by Shawn Achor and Michelle Gielan.

How to be human at work. The HBR Emotional Intelligence Series features smart, essential reading on the human side of professional life from the pages of Harvard Business Review. Each book in the series offers proven research showing how our emotions impact our work lives, practical advice for managing difficult people and situations, and inspiring essays on what it means to tend to our emotional well-being at work. Uplifting and practical, these books describe the social skills that are critical for ambitious professionals to master.

Genres: Nonfiction, Psychology, Business, Self Help, Leadership, Audiobook, Personal Development

150 pages, Paperback

First published April 18, 2017

Reviews

[Abeer Abdullah · Rating 5 out of 5]

From late 2017 until mid 2019 I've gone through a massive transition,

brought on both by age and life events, as I am still in the middle of this transition its a bit difficult to comment on it. Entering the corporate world as a leftist and a poet was sort of hilarious, but I've learned to try and enjoy at least the learning, and the contributions, because this is about survival.
A lot of us millennials are usually crushed by a world someone else fucked up for us, and not all of us can successfully live on the outskirts or come up with something we are turly passionate about and make it work. Luckily for me I am someone with a tremendous amount of curiosity, and can enjoy learning anything.
I've found some of Harverd Business Reviews books a bit helpful, resilience here is a part of a series of books on emotional intelligence, and theres lessons to learn for anyone who is battling themselves and their surroundings in their pursuit toward productivity and achievements. theres a lot of interesting philosophy and psychology behind the idea of endurance, and a lot of busting of myths about what a productive person looks like.
Even though this is probabaly more of a classic than some trendy concept, it sort of contains a few eternal truths about the way we operate and react to stress, passion, and life's comically endless obstacles.

[Trinh Chau · Rating 5 out of 5]

Resilience is the ability to emerge stronger from challenges

1. How to bounce back?
- Facing down reality
- Have a deep belief, often buttressed by strongly held values, that life is meaningful
- Possess an uncanny ability to improvise

2. How to be more resilient?
- Self talking: with optimistic thoughts
- Brain retraining: 20-30min daily meditation in 8 weeks make a huge impact

3. How to evaluate, manage and strengthen resilience?
- Build up positive currency
- Keep record, like daily journal personally and documents professionally
- Create a bull market: spread the attitude among networks to increase and strengthen resilience with the actions of others
- Take a portfólio approach: job was ranked 8/12 to overall happiness. Top were family, friends, health, hobbies, community. Generate those positive currency in those areas increase ability to bring your best self to work
- Report regularly

4. How to better receive feedback?
- know your tendencies
- disentangle the what from the who
- sort towards coaching with more questions
- unpack the feedback
- ask for just 1 thing: What’s one thing you see me doing (or failing to do) that holds me back?
- engage in small experiments

5. Firing back
- decide how to fight back
- recruit others into battle
- recover your heroic status
- prove your mettle
- rediscover your heroic mission

6. Resilience is about how you recharge, not how you endure

[Barry · Rating 2 out of 5]

I received a free ARC of this via Netgalley.

I was a little disappointed with this book. Harvard Business Review are collating articles around grouped emotional intelligence / soft skills and packaging them into groups. This book focuses on the theme of Resilience and contains six articles previously published in Harvard Business Review.

I was quite looking forward to reading this book as I think Resilience is an important area of study, yet I still think much of it is based on assumption. Whilst I do agree that individuals have the capacity and ability to reframe what happens to them in their lives I think much Resilience literature falls into 'toughen up' or 'you can control your response to things that happen'. In other words it has an underpinning that if one is not resilient it is kind of the individuals fault. It almost ignores mental health as though it is something caused entirely by the individual and their capacity to cope. I do think there is something in general Resilience literature and that we do have capacity to respond to setbacks, however promoting Resilience over ethical behaviour at work or in society should never take place. Likewise, we should never have an acceptance of bad things that happen. We should be able to kick back and scream and say, 'it is not okay'.

The first article by Diane Couto entitled 'How Resilience Works' gets us off to a disappointing start. Couto presents a number of assumptions based on how resilience works and presents a case based on anecdotal evidence. I felt like I was reading ideas presented as truths without anything underpinning them bar, 'because someone said so'. I did think there was an interesting idea about accepting the reality of a current situation rather than being super positive and hoping that positivity itself will drive a problem away. I think being grounded as to the reality of anything is something that has helped me in the past.

The second article by Daniel Goleman was one I was looking forward to. I have read Goleman before and whilst he can be a little technical with some of his content regarding the brain he is well worth reading. This is a really short article about meditation and how to do it. What is good here is that some of the science behind activity in the brain is explored. If you know how to meditate one could skip this.

David Kopans presents some ideas based on the business world of how one could become more resilient. There are some nice ideas in here, based on creating a tool kit to improve one's resilience. One or two of these seem more useful, I don't think I'm the intended audience so the presentation didn't click with me but there are some good suggestions.

Sheila Heen and Douglas Stone present an interesting article on finding the coaching in criticism. This review is perhaps not the best place for some of my criticism as I would challenge some of the fundamental assumptions in the article. It argues that performance reviews linked to pay or measuring individual metrics are necessary and that we need to be 'scored' as well as coached with constructive feedback. It then states that in many businesses appraisals rarely happen. We need to challenge the notion that an annual performance review is the way to manage performance! We need to move away from linking performance reviews to pay. If my pay will be impacted during the review how can I a) be honest about performance and perceived areas of improvement and b) reflect upon feedback without thinking about my pay packet first.

If businesses kept pay with pay and performance and feedback together I am certain that businesses would improve and people would be happier working in them. I really like the perspectives of the authors when they explore ideas as to what the perspectives of the recipients of feedback could be and what impacts it. Likewise, I really like the ideas presented how people could reflect on their feedback and chose how to use it (accepting initial difficult messages or rejecting feedback without basis). Probably the most interesting article in the book and one which has practical application.

Jeffrey Sonnerfield and Andrew Ward present an article about great leaders and how they bounce back. This was by far the worst article in the book which I had fundamental problems with. First of all, some of their articles praising 'great leaders' who have come back range from people I consider to be war criminals to convicted criminals. There is praise for some unethical behaviour (if you want to succeed 'get your story out' after a setback - even if you are subsequently found to be a criminal). I was quite offended by some of the text in here. It's also pitched at CEO's and will have limited value to anyone who is not a CEO. The people referenced in this article should not be referred to as 'heroes'. Narcissists perhaps?

We end with Shawn Achor and Michelle Gielan's article about rest and recovery. There are some very smart distinctions made about the difference between not working and rest, as well as recovery and rest. It makes a strong case that working longer and harder and toughening up is counter productive. What a difference from the last article that promotes the great (wo)man theory of leadership! Being resilient includes saying no and taking time out. Good article.

There isn't much in this volume to those who are familiar with resilience concepts. As an introduction to the subject it may have some value. Some of the articles are of more use to a wider audience than others

[Johannes Staats · Rating 3 out of 5]

Das Thema ist zwar super interessant, ich hatte aber trotzdem nicht das Gefühl, durch dieses Buch wirklich etwas neues gelernt zu haben… Einige Kapitel geben einen ganz guten Denkanstoß, insgesamt war das Buch aber zu sehr auf Karriere etc. ausgerichtet. Da es aber so kurz ist, habe ich das Lesen jedenfalls nicht bereut.

[Said AlMaskery · Rating 4 out of 5]

A collection of few articles on Resilience. This book is not a self-help book, but rather an academic and practical summary of what resilience is from a business prespective. It also gives some guidance on how to bounce back when you come to a situation where everything you have built is collapsing.

This small book is a good reminder of something very powerful; life goes on despite the challenges, and it is we who decide if want to stand up again or remain laying on the ground.

"Whatever the arena in which your recovery takes shape, the important thing to remember is that we all have choices in life, even in defeat".

[Ahmet Alpat · Rating 4 out of 5]

Duygusal dayanıklılık üzerine temel parametreleri ve literatürde neler olup bittiğini okuyabileceğiniz HBR makalelerinden oluşan iyi bir giriş ve özet kitabı.

[Alla Kovalenko · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is an interesting collection. I found a number of important and useful ideas.

“We can lose our health, our loved ones, our jobs, but much can be saved. No one can truly define success and failure for us— only we can define that for ourselves. No one can take away our dignity unless we surrender it. No one can take away our hope and pride unless we relinquish them. No one can steal our creativity, imagination, and skills unless we stop thinking. No one can stop us from rebounding unless we give up.”

“The very lack of a recovery period is dramatically
holding back our collective ability to be resilient and successful.”

[S. · Rating 4 out of 5]

Lovely short chapters. I guess that one of the articles cited there was already in my previous read of the series : Mindfulness. This one came with simple steps and guidelines on how to be resilient, especially in business, since it's the (HBR duh!)
I loved how it emphasises more on the rebound time and rest !
Can't lie I pinne down a few books to read thanks to this short introduction to Resilience (a concise straight to the point version, very different from what I've read earlier this year !)
And now off to Influence and Persuasion !

[Joy · Rating 2 out of 5]

Disappointing. The book has 6 essays. #1 and #6 were 3 stars, and the essays in between were really fairly poor. I was screening this book with hopes of reading it together with coworkers, but all in all this book is not up to typical HBR standards. I won’t be reading this book with coworkers, and I can’t recommend it to friends.

[Abdulrahman Alhabashi · Rating 4 out of 5]

من سلسة كتب تصدرها هارفارد بزنس ريفيو تتحدث عن الذكاء العاطفي .. وعددها أربعة كتب.
هذا هو الكتاب الثاني الذي أقرؤه منها بعد كتاب Empathy، ووجدت فيهما مقالات مركزة، ونافعة.
كاتبوا المقالات على دراية كبيرة بمواضيعهم وذوو مثابة علمية وبحثية كبيرة وهو ما يضيف قيمة ومصداقية لدراساتهم التي عرضوا لها في الكتاب.

[Joanna · Rating 1 out of 5]

Må være en av de verste bøkene jeg har lest på alle nivåer.

[Ashley · Rating 1 out of 5]

was already too late when I realized that this is written for business gurus and not for girlies who just wanted a behavioral science book

[Jenel · Rating 5 out of 5]

One of those books I listened to on audible but now will purchase so I can highlight the mess out of it and try to actually implement the content. Covers so much more than resilience.

[Kasss · Rating 4 out of 5]

Es un increíble libro.

[Beyza · Rating 5 out of 5]

"Bedeli ağır galibiyetlerden kaçınmak en iyisidir. Sırf intikam için savaşa girmek Shakespeare'in tragedyalarına yakışır. Böyle savaşların bir kazananı olmaz." sf 96

[Laura Polding · Rating 3 out of 5]

2.5 stars, see quote highlights below:

Resilient people… possess three characteristics: a staunch acceptance of reality; a deep belief, often buttressed by strongly held values, that life is meaningful; and an uncanny ability to improvise. 10

Resilient people devise constructs about their suffering to create some sort of meaning for themselves and others. 16

This dynamic of meaning making is, most researchers agree, the way resilient people build bridges from present-day hardships to a fuller, better-constructed future. Those bridges make the present manageable, for lack of a better word, removing the sense that the present is overwhelming. This concept was beautifully articulated by Viktor E. Frankl, an Austrian psychiatrist and an Auschwitz survivor. In the midst of staggering suffering, Frankl invented “meaning therapy,” a humanistic therapy technique that makes individuals make the kinds of decisions that will create significance in their lives. 17

Value systems at resilient companies change very little over the years and are used as scaffolding in times of trouble. […] Whatever side people were on, they all shared a common set of values. 21

The third building block of resilience is the ability to make do with whatever is at hand. 23

Karl E. Wieck, professor of organizational behavior: “There is good evidence that when people are put under pressure, they regress to their most habituated ways of responding.” 28

Individuals must use what I call a “positive currency” approach that is grounded in actual positive interactions, events, and memories—factors that are known to boost resilience. This currency is only “printed” and stored as memories when we focus on positive things and express gratitude for them. […] they are among the most reliable methods for increasing personal happiness and life satisfaction. Creating such positive currency can decrease anxiety, reduce symptoms of illness, and improve the quality of your sleep. All of which, of course, lead to greater personal resilience. 42-3

Keep records: When you commit positive interactions, events, and memories to the written word, they register higher value than other non-written forms of positivity currency-based activity… 43

Connected: The Surprising Power of Our Social Networks and How They Shape our Lives by Nicholas Christakis and James Fowler
… happiness depends not just on our own choices and actions, but also on those of people who are two or even three degrees removed from us. What this means is that by being more positive ourselves, we encourage others to do the same, and this is turn creates a virtuous “reverse run on the bank” positive feedback loop, and our own resilience is increased and strengthened by that of others. 44-5

Ranking in the top spots [of contributors to overall happiness] were family, friends, health, hobbies, and community. 45

…building individual resilience requires regular review of positive currency data [, which can] boost your resilience by simply increasing your exposure to positive interactions and expressions of gratitude. 46

What makes receiving feedback so hard? The process strikes at the tension between two core human needs—the need to learn and grow, and the need to be accepted just the way you are. 53

Look to the future. Preemptive actions are often more effective than reactive ones—even if they only take the form of standing back and reflecting on what to do next. 80

We often take a militaristic, “tough” approach to resilience and grit. We imagine a marine slogging through the mud, a boxer going one more round, or a football player picking himself up off the turf for one more play. We believe that the longer we tough it out, the tougher we are, and therefore the more successful we will be. However, this entire conception is scientifically inaccurate.
The very lack of a recovery period is dramatically holding back our collective ability to be resilient and successful. Research has found that there is a direct correlation between lack of recovery and increased incidence of health and safety problems. And lack of recovery—whether by disrupting sleep with thoughts of work or having continuous cognitive arousal by watching our phones—is costing our companies $62 billion a year (that’s billion, not million) in lost productivity.
And just because work stops, it doesn’t mean we are recovering. We “stop” work sometimes at 5 p.m., but then we spend the night wrestling with solutions to work problems, talking about our work over dinner, and falling asleep thinking about how much work we’ll do tomorrow. 112-3

Misconceptions about resilience is often bred from an early age. Parents trying to teach their children resilience might celebrate a high school student staying up until 3 a.m. to finish a science fair project. What a distortion of resilience! A resilient child is a well-rested one. When an exhausted student goes to school, he risks hurting everyone on the road with his impaired driving, he doesn’t have the cognitive resources to do well on his English test, he has lower self-control with his friends, and at home, he is moody with his parents. Overwork and exhaustion are the opposite of resilience. And the bad habits we learn when we’re young only magnify when we hit the workforce. 114

If you’re trying to build resilience at work, you need adequate internal and external recovery periods. […] “Internal recovery refers to the shorter periods of relaxation that take place within the frames of the workday or the work setting in the form of short scheduled or unscheduled breaks, by shifting attention or changing to other work tasks when the mental or physical resources required for the initial task are temporarily depleted or exhausted. External recovery refers to actions that take place outside of work—e.g. in the free time between the workdays, and during weekends, holidays or vacations.” If after work you lie around on your bed and get riled up by political commentary on your phone or get stressed thinking about decisions about how to renovate your home, your brain has not received a break from high mental arousal states. 117-8

[Tech to control overworking:] Download the Instant or Moment apps to see how many times you turn on your phone each day. The average person turns on their phone 150 times every day. […] You can use apps like Offtime or Unplugged to create tech free zones by strategically scheduling automatic airplane modes. In addition, you can take a cognitive break every 90 minutes to recharge your batteries. Try to not have lunch at your desk, but instead spend time outside or with your friends—not talking about work. Take all of your paid time off, which not only gives you recovery periods but raises your productivity and the likelihood of promotion. 118-9

[Eveliina · Rating 2 out of 5]

I got this from a local second-hand bookstore for a couple of euros. Quick and easy read, but too business-y for my liking. I wished it have had more general psychological advice. Basic success-porn that's quite empty in the end.

[Ashley · Rating 4 out of 5]

So I bought a business book. And I read it.

The airport bookstore had a section of Harvard Business Review essays and the Emotional Intelligence topics were actually of interest. Since I've never taken a business class and I'm part of a growing company with growing numbers and departments and personalities, it grabbed my attention.

The essays were excellent, even if a couple could have been longer. The article on CEOs picking up the pieces after a public firing didn't really fit with the others, which were applicable to all levels of business.

[Siddharth Sharma · Rating 3 out of 5]

HBR collections are generally good reads - strong analysis-backed perspectives and take an academic view of the topic. I liked #4 and #6 the most. - former is about how to give and take feedback at work, latter about how resilience doesn't mean working non-stop, without breaks. the book is just a hundred pages, perfect for an in-flight read.

[Facundo · Rating 4 out of 5]

Capítulo 1: Cómo funciona la resiliencia – Diane Coutu
Este capítulo explora las tres características fundamentales de las personas resilientes: enfrentar la realidad, encontrar significado en las dificultades y la capacidad de improvisar. Coutu destaca la historia de Claus Schmidt, un periodista que enfrentó crisis familiares y laborales, pero siempre supo mantener una actitud resiliente y seguir adelante. El mensaje clave es que la resiliencia no es sólo una cuestión de suerte, sino de enfoque mental. Para aplicar este concepto, debes aprender a aceptar los hechos tal y como son, encontrar un propósito en los desafíos y estar preparado para adaptarte rápidamente a las situaciones inesperadas.

Ejemplo: Morgan Stanley, cuyos empleados sobrevivieron al ataque del 11 de septiembre gracias a su entrenamiento en evacuaciones, muestra que la preparación ante la adversidad es clave.

Aplicación: En tu vida profesional, al enfrentar problemas, como un fracaso en un proyecto, es esencial mantener la calma, aceptar la realidad de la situación y encontrar maneras creativas de seguir adelante.

Capítulo 2: Mejora tu resiliencia – Daniel Goleman
Goleman aborda cómo puedes fortalecer tu resiliencia hablando contigo mismo y reeducando tu cerebro. Destaca el papel de la neuroplasticidad, la capacidad del cerebro para cambiar y adaptarse, incluso después de un "secuestro" emocional. El entrenamiento en mindfulness es una herramienta útil, ayudando a los individuos a mantenerse centrados en el presente y a gestionar sus emociones de manera más efectiva.

Ejemplo: Richard Davidson, neurocientífico, muestra que la resiliencia está relacionada con la rapidez con la que podemos recuperar el equilibrio emocional después de un secuestro de la amígdala.

Aplicación: Practica el mindfulness diariamente, prestando atención a tu respiración y a cómo reaccionas ante el estrés. Esto te ayudará a ser más consciente de tus emociones y a recuperar el control rápidamente en situaciones difíciles.

Capítulo 3: Cómo evaluar, gestionar y fortalecer tu resiliencia – David Kopans
Kopans presenta un enfoque estructurado para evaluar y fortalecer la resiliencia personal de la misma manera que se gestiona un negocio. Introduce el concepto de la "moneda de la positividad", que implica centrarse en las interacciones y eventos positivos para aumentar la resiliencia. Esto requiere un registro consciente de esas experiencias positivas.

Ejemplo: Las investigaciones de Robert Emmons y Michael McCullough muestran que registrar y reflexionar sobre eventos positivos puede aumentar la felicidad y reducir el estrés.

Aplicación: Lleva un diario donde anotes tus interacciones positivas y agradecimientos diarios. Esto te ayudará a enfocarte en lo positivo, mejorando tu bienestar emocional y tu capacidad para superar los desafíos.

Capítulo 4: Extraer aprendizajes de la crítica – Sheila Heen y Douglas Stone
Este capítulo se centra en cómo recibir y procesar la crítica de manera constructiva. Heen y Stone argumentan que es el receptor quien decide cómo reaccionar a la crítica y cómo puede utilizarla para crecer. Los autores sugieren adoptar una mentalidad de "coaching", viendo la crítica como una oportunidad para mejorar.

Ejemplo: Un ejecutivo que recibe la sugerencia de un superior sobre cómo mejorar una presentación decide probar pequeños experimentos para incorporar esa retroalimentación, lo que resultó en mejoras significativas en su rendimiento.

Aplicación: La próxima vez que recibas feedback, en lugar de reaccionar emocionalmente, analiza la crítica de manera objetiva, y prueba pequeños cambios para ver si resultan útiles en tu desarrollo profesional.

Capítulo 5: Reaccionar rápido – Jeffrey A. Sonnenfeld y Andrew J. Ward
Los autores exploran cómo los grandes líderes se recuperan de los fracasos profesionales. Destacan que no importa qué tan grave sea el tropiezo, los líderes resilientes encuentran maneras de utilizar esas experiencias para impulsar su carrera hacia adelante.

Ejemplo: Jamie Dimon, despedido de Citigroup, más tarde se convirtió en el CEO de JPMorgan Chase. Jack Bogle, despedido de Wellington Management, fundó Vanguard y revolucionó la industria de fondos indexados.

Aplicación: Si enfrentas una gran dificultad en tu carrera, utiliza la situación como una oportunidad para aprender y crecer. Evalúa qué puedes mejorar, y adopta una actitud proactiva para seguir avanzando.

Capítulo 6: La resiliencia consiste en recuperarse, no en aguantar – Shawn Achor y Michelle Gielan
Este último capítulo subraya que la resiliencia no se trata solo de soportar el dolor o aguantar el estrés, sino de recuperarse activamente. Achor y Gielan explican que es importante no solo tener la capacidad de soportar dificultades, sino también encontrar maneras de recargar energías y volver a enfocarse.

Ejemplo: El término "valor homeostático", acuñado por el neurocientífico Brent Furl, describe el valor de las acciones que restauran el equilibrio y el bienestar del cuerpo.

Aplicación: En lugar de simplemente resistir los momentos de estrés, asegúrate de planificar tiempos de descanso y recuperación para evitar el agotamiento. Después de una semana difícil, encuentra tiempo para realizar actividades que te recarguen y te ayuden a mantener tu bienestar a largo plazo.

[Kara · Rating 5 out of 5]

Favorite quotes:

Three pillars of Resilience
- A staunch acceptance of reality
- A deep belief, often buttressed by strongly held values, that life is meaningful
- An uncanny ability to improvise"

We train ourselves how to survive before the fact.

[Dario Vodopivec · Rating 5 out of 5]

A nice collection of articles talking about resilience from different perspectives and different research. It has concrete guidance for how to implement many of these things in your own life. Worth reading and possibly rereading.

[Daniel Ottenwalder · Rating 3 out of 5]

Resilience starts with how you interpret difficulty. The research points to three core traits. First, a steady acceptance of reality. Second, a deep belief that life is meaningful even when it hurts. Third, an ability to improvise when plans collapse. People who hold those three together can navigate almost anything. Optimism matters, but only the grounded kind. False optimism leads to disappointment. Real resilience is the ability to turn suffering into meaning. Instead of asking “why me,” ask “why not me,” and then look for the bigger picture.

Structure helps under pressure. In stressful moments people fall back on habits. That is why routines and processes exist—they give you something stable to anchor to. At the same time, you need enough flexibility to adapt when things break down. Resilience is the ability to bounce back, but also the ability to bend without snapping.

For most of us, resilience can be trained. There are two main ways to strengthen it.
One, reframe major setbacks. Replace catastrophic thinking with something more constructive. Challenge the story you are telling yourself and view the situation through a different lens.
Two, use your body and breath to reset your mind. When you are overwhelmed, breathe and return to the present moment. Let go of reactive energy and shift into something more neutral and positive.

Managing resilience requires tracking it. A “positive currency jar” is one approach. Write down wins, progress, and things you handled well. These records become reminders when confidence drops. Keeping a list of accomplishments trains your brain to remember strength instead of failure. Being around resilient people also helps. Their attitude is contagious.

Resilience is not just endurance. It is the ability to recharge. The brain needs recovery to function. Shutting off completely—and actually resting—makes you more present and productive. Without real recovery, even strong people burn out.

Feedback is one of the best training grounds for resilience. Criticism is hard to hear because it activates truth triggers, relationship triggers, and identity triggers. You have to separate emotion from information. The skill is looking past delivery and finding the coaching inside the criticism. Notice what part of you is reacting. Ask yourself why it stings. Then pull the actionable insight out of the noise.

There are steps that help.
Know your tendencies and where you get triggered.
Discharge the emotional reaction before responding—your goal is to stay objective.
Sort feedback into categories: some of it is evaluation and some of it is coaching. Focus on the coaching.
Unpack the feedback instead of taking it at face value.
Ask for small, specific input rather than broad advice.
Experiment with behavior changes and see if it improves anything.

In leadership, failure is part of the journey. Almost half of executives end their careers after being pushed out. The difference between those who survive and those who fade is whether they fight back. You need to choose whether this moment ends your story or begins the next chapter. Fighting back does not mean aggression. It means refusing to accept a narrative that defines you by one setback.

To recover your footing, recruit support. You need people who will tell you the truth, not just protect your feelings. Rebuild trust and credibility by facing hard conversations and proving your capability again. Sometimes you need to rediscover the mission that brought you into the work in the first place.

Resilience is about taking hits, learning from them, and building forward momentum. It is about stepping back, practicing empathy, and recognizing your own role in the situation. And if you reach a point where nothing improves and the environment actively drains you, resilience might mean choosing a different path or a different team.

Key Lessons
1. Accept reality, believe in meaning, and improvise when things fall apart.
2. Use structure to stay grounded, and flexibility to adapt under pressure.
3. Train resilience through reframing, breathing, and resetting your mind.
4. Track wins and maintain positive currency, it builds confidence when you need it.
5. Find coaching inside criticism, not just the sting.
6. Know your triggers and separate emotion from information.
7. Failure is part of leadership, what matters is how you rebuild.
8. Sometimes resilience is staying the course, sometimes it is choosing to walk away.

[Elif · Rating 3 out of 5]

Kitabın kendim için bir özetini çıkardım anlatılan hikayeleri es geçtim onun yerine bazı örnekleri parantez içinde anahtar kelimelerle belirttim.

Zorluklar karşısında insanların nasıl olup da güçlü kalabildiği üzerine araştırma. Başarı konusunda duygusal dayanıklılık; diploma, eğitim, deneyimden daha etkili. İnsanların duygusal dayanıklılığı farklı şekillerde kendisini gösterebiliyor kara mizah, başkalarıyla duygusal bağ kurabilme gibi. Sahip olunmasa bile sonradan geliştirilebilen bir beceri.

Duygusal dayanıklılığı yüksek kişilerin 3 ortak özelliği var: gerçeği olduğu gibi kabul ediyorlar, hayatta anlamlarla bağlanıyorlar, doğaçlama becerileri yüksek. Tökezledikleri durumlarda kendilerini hemen ayağa kaldırabiliyorlar. İyimserler ancak bu iyimserlik gerçeklik algılarını bozmuyor, iyi olasılıklara odaklanırken gerçeklerin farkındalar. Beklenmedik durumlar için önceden önlem alabiliyorlar yani PROAKTİFLER çünkü gerçeklerle yüzleşebildiklerinden zor durumlara hazırlanıyorlar. Kötü zamanlardan anlam çıkarabiliyorlar (anlam terapisi, Frankl). Çeşitli değerlere sadakatle bağlı kalıyorlar (katolik kilisesi) ancak bu değerler her zaman etik değerler olmayabiliyor! Öte yandan organizasyonda eğer bir olumsuzluk olursa duygusal dayanıklılığı yüksek elemanlar kendilerini tehlikeye atmak yerine şirketi gözden çıkarmaya meyilli oluyorlar (muhtemelen hayatta kalma/ayakta kalma içgüdüsüne bağlı bir hareket).

İyileşmek ve toparlanmak için elde olanlarla yeni bir şey üretebiliyorlar (bouncing back, bricoler).
İnsanlar baskı altındayken en alışık oldukları tepkiyi veriyorlar, en beklenmedik olan ise yaratıcılık yapabilmek.

Duygusal dayanıklılığı yüksek kişiler umutsuz olmaz, şikayet etmez bunun yerine çözüm üretir ve yaşadığı zorluklardan bir anlam çıkarır. Bu beceriyi kendinizle konuşarak ve beyninizi eğiterek kazanabilirsiniz. Yenilgilere karşı olumlu bir yaklaşım geliştirmeyi öğren. Mindfullness ile yaşadığın anın farkına var ve sessiz bir yerde sadece nefeslerine odaklan!

Olumlu hatıra, olay ve etkileşimleri yazıya dök. Eleştirilerden ders al geribildirimler performansı arttırır.

Hakikat dürtüsü; geribildirimin içeriği kişiyi tetikler haksız bir eleştiri geldiğini düşünür. İlişki dürtüsü; geribildirimi veren kişiye güvenmez.Kimlik dürtüsü; seninle ilgili bir konuda kendini savunma isteğine düşme ve sakinliğini yitirme. Çözümse olanları anlamak ve tepkiyi ölçülü vermek. Geribildirim üzerine detaylı analiz yap. Mesaj ve mesaj sahibini ayır. Nasıl kendini geliştirebileceğini öğren. Karşı taraftan yapıcı eleştiri talep et.

Dönüşümcü lider olmak (Campbell) sürekli deneme yanılma süreci, başarısızlıklar ve zaferler.
Başarısızlık sadece bir başlangıç! Geleceğe bak ve proaktif ol. İnsanların başarısızlığını hazmetmesini sağla. Hikayene hakim ol. Başkalarının desteğini al. İmaj her zaman önemli. Kararlılığını ispatla ve kahramanlık statünü yeniden kazan.

Zorlu koşullar liderin kendini geliştirmesi, engelleri aşabilmesi için en uygun ortam.
Başarını ve başarısızlığını tanıtan kişi sen ol! Reklamını iyi yap. Pes etme!
Zihnini dinlendirmeye zaman ayır. Duygusal dayanıklılığın sırrı çalışmak, dinlenmek ve tekrar çalışmaktır (homoestaz).

[Lukasz · Rating 5 out of 5]

Książka ta nie jest jednolitą narracją jednego autora, lecz starannie wyselekcjonowanym zbiorem esejów i artykułów napisanych przez czołowych światowych ekspertów w dziedzinie psychologii i biznesu (m.in. Daniela Golemana, Sheryl Sandberg czy Diane Coutu).

Głównym tematem jest tytułowa rezyliencja (resilience), czyli zdolność do podnoszenia się po porażkach i adaptacji do trudnych warunków. Książka obala mit, że odporność psychiczna to wrodzona cecha "twardzieli". Zamiast tego przedstawia ją jako umiejętność, którą każdy może wyćwiczyć. Artykuły poruszają takie tematy jak: czym różni się zwykły upór od mądrej wytrwałości, jak przekuć traumatyczne przeżycia w rozwój (post-traumatic growth) oraz dlaczego kluczem do odporności nie jest nieustanny wysiłek, lecz umiejętna regeneracja. To podręcznik przetrwania dla liderów w niepewnych czasach.

Seria HBR Emotional Intelligence to "złoty standard" literatury dla profesjonalistów, a tom „Resilience” jest jedną z jej najlepszych części. To idealna propozycja dla ludzi, którzy nie mają czasu na czytanie opasłych tomów akademickich, a szukają sprawdzonej, rzetelnej wiedzy.

Dlaczego warto mieć tę książkę na półce:

Sama „mięso”, zero „waty”: Format książki jest genialny. Każdy rozdział to osobny, krótki artykuł, który w 10-15 minut dostarcza skondensowanej wiedzy. Można ją czytać wyrywkowo, w przerwie na kawę, czerpiąc natychmiastowe inspiracje.

Zmiana definicji siły: Jeden z kluczowych artykułów w tym zbiorze rewolucjonizuje myślenie o wytrzymałości. Autorzy udowadniają, że odporność to nie to samo co wytrzymywanie bólu (endurance), ale umiejętność regeneracji (recovery). To myśl, która może uratować wielu menedżerów przed wypaleniem zawodowym.

Gwiazdorska obsada: W jednej małej książeczce mamy dostęp do umysłów gigantów. Czytamy analizy psychologów z West Point, badaczy z Harvardu i prezesów wielkich spółek. To różnorodność perspektyw, która daje pełny obraz zagadnienia.

Praktyczność: Mimo naukowego podłoża (HBR słynie z opierania się na badaniach), teksty są bardzo życiowe. Znajdziesz tu konkretne techniki, jak zarządzać własną energią i jak trenować mózg, by w sytuacji kryzysowej szukał rozwiązań, a nie panikował.

Werdykt: To pigułka mądrości dla każdego ambitnego człowieka. W świecie, który jest coraz bardziej zmienny i stresujący (tzw. świat VUCA), ta książka działa jak tarcza. Uczy, że upadek to nie koniec, ale niezbędny etap drogi na szczyt. Pozycja obowiązkowa w biblioteczce każdego lidera.

[PL83 · Rating 4 out of 5]

Some notes on this book.

1) Reality Check: The Power of Acceptance
Article: “How Resilience Works” by Diane Coutu
Actionable Insight: Cultivate a grounded sense of reality. Practice mindfulness, acceptance, and adaptability. Embrace life’s uncertainties rather than resist them, finding meaning and potential growth in adversity.

2) Everyday Resilience: A Learnable Skill
Article: “Resilience for the Rest of Us” by Daniel Goleman
Actionable Insight: Incorporate resilience-building habits into your daily routine, such as meditation, gratitude journaling, or regular exercise. Building emotional resilience is a process that demands regular practice.

3) Measuring Your Bounce: The Resilience Scale
Article: “How to Evaluate, Manage and Strengthen Your Resilience” by David Kopans
Actionable Insight: Regularly assess your emotional health and resilience using self-evaluation tools. Track your progress, identify areas for growth, and implement strategies to build emotional strength.

4) Turning Critics into Coaches
Article: “Find the Coaching in Criticism” by Sheila Heen
Actionable Insight: View criticism as a learning opportunity rather than a personal attack. Ask for specific examples and actionable feedback, and use this information to improve and grow.

5) Leading from the Ashes: Resilience in Leadership
Article: “Firing Back: How Great Leaders Rebound After Career Disasters” by Jeffrey A. Sonnenfeld
Actionable Insight: Develop a forward-thinking mindset. When faced with career setbacks, analyze what went wrong, learn from your mistakes, and plan your comeback strategy with newfound wisdom.

6) Recharge Your Resilience: The Power of Rest
Article: “Resilience is About How You Recharge, Not How You Endure” by Shawn Achor
Actionable Insight: Regularly disconnect from stressors and practice self-care activities. Cultivate habits that help recharge your emotional batteries, such as adequate sleep, healthy diet, regular exercise, and mindfulness practices.

[Karen Hewitt · Rating 4 out of 5]

"Emotional Intelligence & Resilience" is a collection of articles published by the Harvard Business Review that explores the relationship between emotional intelligence and resilience, and provides practical advice for developing both of these important skills. The book features insights from a range of experts in fields such as psychology, leadership development, and neuroscience, and provides actionable strategies for improving emotional intelligence and resilience.

Overall, I found this book to be a valuable resource for anyone interested in developing their emotional intelligence and resilience skills. The articles in the book cover a range of topics, from the neuroscience of emotional intelligence to the importance of resilience in personal and professional success.

One of the key takeaways from this book is the importance of emotional intelligence in developing resilience. The authors argue that emotional intelligence skills, such as self-awareness, self-regulation, empathy, and social skills, are critical components of resilience, and provide practical advice for developing these skills.

Another important theme in the book is the idea that resilience is a skill that can be developed and improved over time. The authors provide practical strategies for building resilience, such as practicing self-care, seeking support from others, reframing challenges as opportunities, and cultivating a growth mindset.

Overall, I highly recommend "Emotional Intelligence & Resilience" to anyone interested in developing their emotional intelligence and resilience skills. The book is full of practical advice, real-world examples, and research-based insights that are sure to be helpful to anyone looking to become a more resilient and emotionally intelligent person and leader.

[Kamilla Barros · Rating 4 out of 5]

O livro "Resiliência", parte da Coleção Inteligência Emocional da Harvard Business Review, publicado pela editora Sextante, é um valioso compilado de artigos dos renomados autores Diane L. Coutu, Daniel Goleman, David Kopans, Sheila Heen, Douglas Stone, Jeffrey A. Sonnenfeld e Andrew J. Ward. O livro explora de forma profunda o tema da resiliência, destacando a capacidade de encontrar propósito mesmo diante das adversidades.

Em suas páginas concisas, o livro oferece uma rica variedade de artigos, conceitos, relatos e dicas, todos voltados para a compreensão e o fortalecimento da resiliência. Mesmo sendo pequeno e de leitura rápida, o conteúdo é extremamente relevante para os desafios enfrentados na atualidade. Os autores abordam a importância de desenvolver essa habilidade, não apenas para superar obstáculos, mas também para crescer e se adaptar em um mundo em constante mudança.

Ao apresentar perspectivas variadas sobre o tema, os autores proporcionam uma compreensão abrangente da resiliência, suas aplicações e benefícios. O livro não apenas explora os aspectos teóricos, mas também oferece exemplos práticos e histórias inspiradoras de indivíduos que transformaram adversidades em oportunidades de crescimento pessoal e profissional.

"Resiliência" é uma leitura essencial para quem busca fortalecer sua capacidade de enfrentar os desafios da vida com determinação, encontrar significado em situações difíceis e desenvolver uma mentalidade voltada para o crescimento. Sua abordagem prática e valiosa o torna um guia indispensável para aqueles que desejam se destacar no ambiente dinâmico e competitivo de hoje.

[Neti Triwinanti · Rating 4 out of 5]

Buku ini saya beli tanpa rencana ketika beberapa bulan lalu datang terlalu awal ke bandara (sehingga berujung mampir ke Periplus). Dua hal yang membuat saya mengambil buku ini tanpa pertimbangan yang lama adalah karena judul dan desain buku yang sleek dan bersih. Buku ini merupakan seri Harvard Business Review (HBR) Emotional Intelligence. Setelah mulai membaca, saya baru ngeh kalau bahasan dalam buku ini utamanya dikaitkan dengan kepemimpinan/leadership terutama dalam kehidupan profesional.
Buku ini terdiri dari 6 bab singkat berbeda yang ditulis oleh penulis yang berbeda, salah satu diantaranya adalah Daniel Goleman. Selain berisi penjelasan terkait resiliensi dan bagaimana 'personal trait' itu bekerja, di sini juga dijelaskan bagaimana resiliensi dapat dievaluasi dan ditingkatkan, salah satunya dengan "mengobrol" dengan diri sendiri. Resilience juga ternyata erat kaitannya dengan mindfulness. Di salah satu bab buku ini ditulis bagaimana latihan meditasi 20 - 30 menit sehari dapat meningkatkan membantu membentuk resiliensi diri.
Di buku ini juga disampaikan contoh nyata dari beberapa pimpinan perusahaan besar tentang bagaimana mereka menerapkan resiliensi, bangkit setelah kegagalan besar, dan menghadapi berbagai konflik di perusahaan.
Menyelesaikan buku ini membuat akhirnya memutuskan untuk membeli seri HBR Emotional Intelligence lainnya.

[Ruby Annette · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book on Resilience did not teach me anything that I didn’t already know.

Sharing the experience from CEOs that were wrongfully accused and how their determination to bounce back from those dramatic work events was intriguing. Martha Stweards personal experience describes her resilient attitude brilliantly.

Additionally, the main message I took away was, “...rest and recovery are not the same thing. Stopping [work] does not equal recovery. If you are trying to build resilience at work, you need adequate internal and external recovery”

As AMERICAN workaholics we seem to be wired to think about work around the clock. We wake up thinking about everything we need to do at work, we go to work thinking about everything that needs to get done. We leave work thinking about everything that didn’t get finished that we must try to get done late at night. We sleep and dream about work. And the vicious cycle repeats itself. It’s an awful way to live. If you have a hard time separating your self from work, perhaps you might find the tips in this book helpful.

To be resilient, we need to train our brains to turn off “work” responsibilities outside of work and enjoy the moments not working to be mindfully spent doing hobbies and other things that bring us joy.