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Stalling for Time: My Life as an FBI Hostage Negotiator
An enraged man abducts his estranged wife and child, holes up in a secluded mountain cabin, threatening to kill them both. A right wing survivalist amasses a cache of weapons and resists calls to surrender. A drug trafficker barricades himself and his family in a railroad car, and begins shooting. A cult leader in Waco, Texas faces the FBI in an armed stand-off that leaves many dead in a fiery blaze. A sniper, claiming to be God, terrorizes the DC metropolitan area. For most of us, these are events we hear about on the news. For Gary Noesner, head of the FBI’s groundbreaking Crisis Negotiation Unit, it was just another day on the job.
In Stalling for Time, Noesner takes readers on a heart-pounding tour through many of the most famous hostage crises of the past thirty years. Specially trained in non-violent confrontation and communication techniques, Noesner’s unit successfully defused many potentially volatile standoffs, but perhaps their most hard-won victory was earning the recognition and respect of their law enforcement peers.
Noesner pursued his dream of joining the FBI all the way to Quantico, where he not only became a Special Agent, but also—in the course of a distinguished thirty-year career—the FBI’s Chief Negotiator. Gaining respect for the fledgling art of crisis negotiation in the hard-boiled culture of The Bureau, where the shadow of J. Edgar Hoover still loomed large, was an uphill battle, educating FBI and law enforcement leaders on the job at an incident, and advocating the use of psychology rather than force whenever possible. Noesner’s many bloodless victories rarely garnered as much media attention as the notorious incident management blunders like the Branch Davidian disaster in Waco and the Ruby Ridge tragedy.
Noesner offers a candid as well as fascinating look back at his years as a rebel in the ranks and a pioneer on the front lines. Whether vividly recounting showdowns with the radical Republic of Texas militia, the terrorist hijackers of the cruise ship Achille Lauro, and self-styled messiah David Koresh, or clashes with colleagues and superiors that expose the internal politics and power-plays of America’s premier law enforcement agency, Stalling for Time crackles with breathtaking suspense and insight in equal measure. Case by case, minute by minute, it’s a behind the scenes view of a visionary crime-fighter in action.
In Stalling for Time, Noesner takes readers on a heart-pounding tour through many of the most famous hostage crises of the past thirty years. Specially trained in non-violent confrontation and communication techniques, Noesner’s unit successfully defused many potentially volatile standoffs, but perhaps their most hard-won victory was earning the recognition and respect of their law enforcement peers.
Noesner pursued his dream of joining the FBI all the way to Quantico, where he not only became a Special Agent, but also—in the course of a distinguished thirty-year career—the FBI’s Chief Negotiator. Gaining respect for the fledgling art of crisis negotiation in the hard-boiled culture of The Bureau, where the shadow of J. Edgar Hoover still loomed large, was an uphill battle, educating FBI and law enforcement leaders on the job at an incident, and advocating the use of psychology rather than force whenever possible. Noesner’s many bloodless victories rarely garnered as much media attention as the notorious incident management blunders like the Branch Davidian disaster in Waco and the Ruby Ridge tragedy.
Noesner offers a candid as well as fascinating look back at his years as a rebel in the ranks and a pioneer on the front lines. Whether vividly recounting showdowns with the radical Republic of Texas militia, the terrorist hijackers of the cruise ship Achille Lauro, and self-styled messiah David Koresh, or clashes with colleagues and superiors that expose the internal politics and power-plays of America’s premier law enforcement agency, Stalling for Time crackles with breathtaking suspense and insight in equal measure. Case by case, minute by minute, it’s a behind the scenes view of a visionary crime-fighter in action.
372 pages, Kindle Edition
First published September 21, 2010
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 463 reviews
March 25, 2022
What an extraordinary book! Mr. Noesner was involved in some very high-profile incidents, such as Ruby Ridge, Waco, as well as the Washington DC sniper crisis that those of us on the East Coast remember well. In addition, he was instrumental in the creation of the negotiation team in the FBI, training, drafting and revising policies and procedures, as well as acting in the capaciy of a negotiator whenever and wherever needed.
This is a man that, in my opinion, has a right to be arrogant; however, it is crystal clear that he is indeed humble. After all of his accomplishments, I should not be surprised that he is such a magnificent writer, but I was. This book presents facts, time-lines and explanations. For those of us that watched any of these horrors unfold, and wondered what went so wrong, how and why; here are our answers.
When Mr. Noesner provides his opinions, they are clearly noted as his opinions, and while he may articulate mistakes that were made, there is no finger-pointing, name-calling or anything remotely along those lines. I believe that this is a very fair book, and I enjoyed it tremendously.
The tone of this book is very similar to that of Dave Cullen's Columbine---another outstanding non-fiction book with many answers, more questions and a fair view.
This is a man that, in my opinion, has a right to be arrogant; however, it is crystal clear that he is indeed humble. After all of his accomplishments, I should not be surprised that he is such a magnificent writer, but I was. This book presents facts, time-lines and explanations. For those of us that watched any of these horrors unfold, and wondered what went so wrong, how and why; here are our answers.
When Mr. Noesner provides his opinions, they are clearly noted as his opinions, and while he may articulate mistakes that were made, there is no finger-pointing, name-calling or anything remotely along those lines. I believe that this is a very fair book, and I enjoyed it tremendously.
The tone of this book is very similar to that of Dave Cullen's Columbine---another outstanding non-fiction book with many answers, more questions and a fair view.
September 27, 2010
This was only the second book I've ever blurbed. I was very impressed. My review:
This was such a rewarding book. I've always been fascinated by that very basic question: when someone is disturbed and irrational enough to actually pick up a gun and take hostages, how on earth do you talk him down?
What was most startling to me was that until very recently in human history--a few decades ago--we didn't know.
The more I learned, the hungrier I got to learn more. How interesting that so much of it amounts to listening.
I had previously learned a great deal about hostage negotiators researching my book COLUMBINE. (The head of the FBI investigation in that case, Dr. Dwayne Fuselier, was a leading negotiator and I spent a great deal of time with him.) Fuselier spoke very highly of Gary Noesner, so I was curious.
I expected to skim through much it, but found myself hanging on every word. There is a great deal to learn here, and it was just as interesting to watch the story of how difficult it was to teach the FBI these ideas. Individuals picked them up rather easily, but making the institution embrace them was a bigger challenge.
My biggest surprise, though, was what a natural storyteller Noesner turned out to be. He has the easy style and readability of a lifelong novelist. It was a gripping and thoroughly enjoyable read.
This was such a rewarding book. I've always been fascinated by that very basic question: when someone is disturbed and irrational enough to actually pick up a gun and take hostages, how on earth do you talk him down?
What was most startling to me was that until very recently in human history--a few decades ago--we didn't know.
The more I learned, the hungrier I got to learn more. How interesting that so much of it amounts to listening.
I had previously learned a great deal about hostage negotiators researching my book COLUMBINE. (The head of the FBI investigation in that case, Dr. Dwayne Fuselier, was a leading negotiator and I spent a great deal of time with him.) Fuselier spoke very highly of Gary Noesner, so I was curious.
I expected to skim through much it, but found myself hanging on every word. There is a great deal to learn here, and it was just as interesting to watch the story of how difficult it was to teach the FBI these ideas. Individuals picked them up rather easily, but making the institution embrace them was a bigger challenge.
My biggest surprise, though, was what a natural storyteller Noesner turned out to be. He has the easy style and readability of a lifelong novelist. It was a gripping and thoroughly enjoyable read.
December 19, 2018
Friends and colleagues urged Gary Noesner (pronounced Nes-ner) to write a book on his hostage / crisis negotiator experiences ‘to share the lessons I learned over years of convincing people to put down their weapons and surrender peacefully’. He believes ‘that the skills discussed in this book can help anyone to become better person, a more engaged spouse, a more attentive parent, a better friend, and a more effective leader’. Quite a claim. OK Gary, I am all ears.
The first case he writes about is way back in April 1988 when a man kidnaps his estranged former common-law wife and child. He takes them to a farmhouse in Sperryville, Virginia. The tension is quite intense.
Noesner goes over how he came to join the FBI and his first major siege in Raleigh, North Carolina, in 1982 and his 8 years in the Washington Field Office (WFO) Terrorism Squad. He demonstrates how negotiation and tactical operations working together can bring about a successful conclusion versus just going into a situation all guns blazing.
When I think of hostage negotiations the two that spring to my mind are ‘Dog Day Afternoon’ which gets mentioned and Waco which gets a whole chapter. What a chapter it is too. The whole siege was a mess. This was certainly one of those times when ‘the negotiation and tactical teams had been at cross-purposes'. He goes on to say ‘…if we had learned one thing from Waco, it was the lesson about not letting our emotions overpower our responsibilities’.
I felt a couple of the chapters lagged somewhat but overall I did enjoy the book. So, has this book helped me become a better person? I’m not sure about that but I do understand what he means about how it may help.
I read all these books about really interesting jobs that people have. Let me know if you think there’ll be any appetite to hear my work stories? I sit at a desk for 10 hours per day sorting out functional system issues. I did drop my pen the other day and cleaned out my keyboard by turning it upside down. It was like a crumb Niagara Falls. I think I have chapter one sorted. Just wait until the spilling my coffee everywhere chapter. It’s a classic.
September 1, 2020
Interesting topic but boring execution. I understand why this is written like a case report, but the amount of procedural details included somehow managed to remove all the suspense from a topic as riveting as hostage negotiation. I think I just expected something different and didn’t have the patience this book requires. Perhaps it’s worth a re-read at a different time.
See more of my reviews: Blog // Instagram
See more of my reviews: Blog // Instagram
July 11, 2021
Just an absolutely very interesting account of the development of hostage negotiation techniques over the course of Noesner’s career with the FBI. I learned more about the development of this field of work than I expected to, and found that particularly interesting. Noesner doesn’t scrimp on the inside goss on all the hostage crises/sieges we all want to know about. A+ audio.
July 24, 2020
4.5 stars! Stalling for time was a fascinating account of many standoffs throughout Noesner's career as an FBI Negotiator. Some of the problems in his role were conflicts among different factions dealing with these standoffs that resulted in tragedy, such as Ruby Ridge and Waco. Noesner shared many success stories he had by negotiating and talking, rather than violently stomping in, which seemed to have poor results. His communication skills are admirable and seem not only applicable to hostage and other standoff situations, but to everyday interactions as well. Noesner says, "Before we can influence others we must first listen and understand. Listening is the cheapest concession we can ever make." How true that is and one last nugget of life wisdom from Noesner - "From what I’ve observed, the happiest and most successful people tend to be those who are able to remain calm at these difficult times and put aside emotions such as pride or anger that stop them from finding common ground. We all need to be good listeners and learn to demonstrate our empathy and understanding of the problems, needs, and issues of others. Only then can we hope to influence their behavior in a positive way."
November 13, 2018
An interesting read but much of it felt more like a resumé than an exciting page turner about the different situations he encountered over his 30+ years in the field.
I felt at times (or maybe for about 90% of the book....), like he was trying to convince me that negotiators are just as important as tactical teams. I get it Gary, your job is important... I’m just engaging in some lite reading for the thrill of an intense hostage situation! Cut me some slack!
Oh and the epilogue!! A lecture about how you MUST pay the ransom if ever faced with the dilemma of having a terrorist kidnap your family member (??? we took a left turn somewhere and I missed it?!?!)
I felt at times (or maybe for about 90% of the book....), like he was trying to convince me that negotiators are just as important as tactical teams. I get it Gary, your job is important... I’m just engaging in some lite reading for the thrill of an intense hostage situation! Cut me some slack!
Oh and the epilogue!! A lecture about how you MUST pay the ransom if ever faced with the dilemma of having a terrorist kidnap your family member (??? we took a left turn somewhere and I missed it?!?!)
April 30, 2019
The book is interesting for what it is--a first hand account of a bunch of hostage crises--what the FBI did and didn't do. But it's not much more beyond that. For example, it doesn't really coalesce lessons learned that should be applied to other circumstances (though there are some). Noesner begins and ends the book describing situations where men killed others or took hostages because they couldn't get what they wanted from women. Seems like this whole industry is about managing male egos from one vantage point. Such a waste of resources
May 11, 2016
I felt like this book was well written, personal, and engaging. It gave me insight into the difficulties and practices of negotiation, and a LOT to think about. The author seemed like someone who genuinely cares about his job, the people, and a positive outcome, and I respected his honesty throughout the book.
May 10, 2023
I recently read Robert Ressler's book on helping the FBI
establish the FBI Behavioral Science Unit and using
behavior profiles to catch perps. Now Gary Noesner's
book. Both gents showed integrity. Refreshing as the last
10 yrs or so, some in law enforcement (in US) have crossed
'over the line' & have neglected to own their mistakes.
Noesner worked for the FBI as a investigator, instructor
& negotiator for 30 + yrs. The last 23 years he served as
FBI negotiator (in all 50 states + 40 countries.) He helped
write the FBI hostage manual. He retired as Chief of the
FBI's Crisis Negotiation Unit.
He spoke of major FBI cases such as: Randy Weaver in
Ruby Ridge, David Koresh in Waco Texas, the Freemen
in Montana & Lee Boyd Malvo and John Muhammad
snipers in Washington DC, Maryland and Virginia. The
last case had to do w/ child custody rights, new info to
me.
Noesner explained during a hostage situation the police
or FBI agent could order the electric, phone, or water (or
all 3) shut off in the alleged perp's abode or facility. Or
could 'starve out' the perp(s) as a tactic. He worked the
Lucasville (Ohio) prison riot. He had the cooks make coffee
& bacon so the inmates could smell it. Then he had the
staff make hamburgers etc on an outside grill. The
inmates were fed. Noesner wanted a peaceful conclusion
and no loss of life in hostage situations where he intervened.
Noesner admitted the FBI made mistakes at Waco. Koresh
allowed 35 to leave the compound, but 75 ( including him )
died there. Noesner said the FBI negotiation (Noesner etc)
& FBI tactical teams (SWAT) weren't on the same page. The
tactical leader, unilaterally cut off electricity to the com-
pound, played loud obnoxious music, used tear gas to smoke
them out (US AG approved the last one). And tore down
sections of the compound. Reportedly to allow holes for
people to flee. All these actions were aggressive + increased
the possibility of a violent response. The tactical leader was
never punished by the FBI.
Noesner didn't work on the Unibomber case which took
the FBI 18 yrs (?) to solve. The brilliant but mentally ill
perp was found living in a rough shack in Montana.
establish the FBI Behavioral Science Unit and using
behavior profiles to catch perps. Now Gary Noesner's
book. Both gents showed integrity. Refreshing as the last
10 yrs or so, some in law enforcement (in US) have crossed
'over the line' & have neglected to own their mistakes.
Noesner worked for the FBI as a investigator, instructor
& negotiator for 30 + yrs. The last 23 years he served as
FBI negotiator (in all 50 states + 40 countries.) He helped
write the FBI hostage manual. He retired as Chief of the
FBI's Crisis Negotiation Unit.
He spoke of major FBI cases such as: Randy Weaver in
Ruby Ridge, David Koresh in Waco Texas, the Freemen
in Montana & Lee Boyd Malvo and John Muhammad
snipers in Washington DC, Maryland and Virginia. The
last case had to do w/ child custody rights, new info to
me.
Noesner explained during a hostage situation the police
or FBI agent could order the electric, phone, or water (or
all 3) shut off in the alleged perp's abode or facility. Or
could 'starve out' the perp(s) as a tactic. He worked the
Lucasville (Ohio) prison riot. He had the cooks make coffee
& bacon so the inmates could smell it. Then he had the
staff make hamburgers etc on an outside grill. The
inmates were fed. Noesner wanted a peaceful conclusion
and no loss of life in hostage situations where he intervened.
Noesner admitted the FBI made mistakes at Waco. Koresh
allowed 35 to leave the compound, but 75 ( including him )
died there. Noesner said the FBI negotiation (Noesner etc)
& FBI tactical teams (SWAT) weren't on the same page. The
tactical leader, unilaterally cut off electricity to the com-
pound, played loud obnoxious music, used tear gas to smoke
them out (US AG approved the last one). And tore down
sections of the compound. Reportedly to allow holes for
people to flee. All these actions were aggressive + increased
the possibility of a violent response. The tactical leader was
never punished by the FBI.
Noesner didn't work on the Unibomber case which took
the FBI 18 yrs (?) to solve. The brilliant but mentally ill
perp was found living in a rough shack in Montana.
April 9, 2024
My old manager suggested I read this book, and I was very pleasantly surprised by how much I enjoyed reading it! I don’t know that much about the FBI, hostage negotiation, how different parts of law enforcement work together (or don’t), etc. and it was interesting seeing inside the head of one of the biggest FBI negotiation leaders in history!
Acknowledging that there are inherent biases within the FBIs training, it honestly seemed like Gary really had the best intentions dealing with all sorts of crazy hostage situations and dangerous sieges, including Waco. A lot of sacrifice goes into handling domestic and international terrorism issues that we civilians frankly know nothing about. A takeaway to my life would be that it’s important to be reasonable in the face of crisis, as going through life is really just one big negotiation if you think of it! Which is spooky but also exciting because the doors we think are fully slammed shut and locked may not actually be? We know that going in with fire, violence, and force may not always be the best answer… sometimes people just need to talk and we need to listen!
Ok wait also so many of these hostage crises had me thinking “some men will do anything - even domestic terrorism - but go to therapy” bc half the cases were about men’s egos and them not being able to express themselves … lowkey the author insinuated this too
Acknowledging that there are inherent biases within the FBIs training, it honestly seemed like Gary really had the best intentions dealing with all sorts of crazy hostage situations and dangerous sieges, including Waco. A lot of sacrifice goes into handling domestic and international terrorism issues that we civilians frankly know nothing about. A takeaway to my life would be that it’s important to be reasonable in the face of crisis, as going through life is really just one big negotiation if you think of it! Which is spooky but also exciting because the doors we think are fully slammed shut and locked may not actually be? We know that going in with fire, violence, and force may not always be the best answer… sometimes people just need to talk and we need to listen!
Ok wait also so many of these hostage crises had me thinking “some men will do anything - even domestic terrorism - but go to therapy” bc half the cases were about men’s egos and them not being able to express themselves … lowkey the author insinuated this too
December 20, 2021
Absolutely loved this book
March 17, 2015
This book was so good. After reading Columbine, I wanted a lighter read (so naturally, I reach for hostage negotiations...really, self?). I read a chapter at lunch every day, and let me tell you, it was difficult to put it down.
Noesner's style is fantastic and made his stories compelling. It reads like a narrative and is written in a conversational, engaging manner. For the most part, it read in chronological order of his career and each chapter focused on an incident.
I was born in 1991, so I barely remember the events surrounding September 11th (near the time he retired). Most of his incidents occurred in the eighties and nineties. Though I'm not old enough to remember reading or watching these stories on the news, I can only imagine how it would feel for those who had. I was surprised at the amount of detail discussed in each chapter. It was thrilling.
You might even say that all of life is a negotiation. - Gary Noesner, Stalling for Time
Even if you're not in law enforcement, I think there are plenty of lessons to be learned in this book for negotiating in your own life. For example, identifying what someone wants. Then, identify their needs. Don't take away creature comforts. Don't let them know they hold power over you. Don't pressure them. Treat them like human beings.
Much of the book also discusses the adversity that the Hostage Negotiation Team faced when it was first gaining ground in the FBI. Though somewhat easy to sway an individual's opinion in terms of HNT, it was difficult to sway the entire Bureau.
Overall, Stalling for Time was a fantastic nonfiction read. I highly recommend to those who are interested in crime or crime reporting. 5/5 on Goodreads!
Noesner's style is fantastic and made his stories compelling. It reads like a narrative and is written in a conversational, engaging manner. For the most part, it read in chronological order of his career and each chapter focused on an incident.
I was born in 1991, so I barely remember the events surrounding September 11th (near the time he retired). Most of his incidents occurred in the eighties and nineties. Though I'm not old enough to remember reading or watching these stories on the news, I can only imagine how it would feel for those who had. I was surprised at the amount of detail discussed in each chapter. It was thrilling.
You might even say that all of life is a negotiation. - Gary Noesner, Stalling for Time
Even if you're not in law enforcement, I think there are plenty of lessons to be learned in this book for negotiating in your own life. For example, identifying what someone wants. Then, identify their needs. Don't take away creature comforts. Don't let them know they hold power over you. Don't pressure them. Treat them like human beings.
Much of the book also discusses the adversity that the Hostage Negotiation Team faced when it was first gaining ground in the FBI. Though somewhat easy to sway an individual's opinion in terms of HNT, it was difficult to sway the entire Bureau.
Overall, Stalling for Time was a fantastic nonfiction read. I highly recommend to those who are interested in crime or crime reporting. 5/5 on Goodreads!
April 1, 2018
5- Gary Noesner is one of the godfathers of hostage negotiation. Through a mix of brilliant psychology and detective work, he and his colleagues invented this important technique, which is practiced in police forces and federal bureaus across the country today. This book spans Noesner's career in the FBI, highlighting some of the most riveting hostage investigations in US history through his first-hand accounts as a negotiator and advisor.
I listened to the audiobook version of Stalling for Time and absolutely loved it! It was like listening to a really good true crime podcast. I am a hard sell on memoirs, but Noesner is a compelling narrator. He doesn't shy away from the hard facts, or his opinions, even when they put the FBI in a less-than-stellar light. Regardless, he is able to keep his point of view composed and gracious. The book is well-paced and absolutely engrossing. As a psychology student and a true crime fanatic, I completely loved this book. Gary Noesner is a true gentleman, and an American Hero.
I listened to the audiobook version of Stalling for Time and absolutely loved it! It was like listening to a really good true crime podcast. I am a hard sell on memoirs, but Noesner is a compelling narrator. He doesn't shy away from the hard facts, or his opinions, even when they put the FBI in a less-than-stellar light. Regardless, he is able to keep his point of view composed and gracious. The book is well-paced and absolutely engrossing. As a psychology student and a true crime fanatic, I completely loved this book. Gary Noesner is a true gentleman, and an American Hero.
July 24, 2020
Couldn’t put it down!
Reading about well known standoffs from the guy behind the scenes was very intriguing. As with government agency, there will be different viewpoints and unfortunately these differing points of view were costly in Ruby Ridge and Waco. Ruby Ridge and Waco were well known events as we watched them unfold on television. Reading what happened behind the scenes was very eye opening. The other stories, though lesser known to me, were just as captivating. The idea that words matter, helping people feel understood matters and it can be the difference between life and death.
Reading about well known standoffs from the guy behind the scenes was very intriguing. As with government agency, there will be different viewpoints and unfortunately these differing points of view were costly in Ruby Ridge and Waco. Ruby Ridge and Waco were well known events as we watched them unfold on television. Reading what happened behind the scenes was very eye opening. The other stories, though lesser known to me, were just as captivating. The idea that words matter, helping people feel understood matters and it can be the difference between life and death.
March 17, 2022
A very interesting book around a niche part of recent American history. Noesner unveils the curtain behind some of the most famous, and most famously not known, hostage situations in America.
I (along with my book club) was lucky enough to speak with the author for a bit, and it was an amazing experience to hear the man behind so many negotiations. Stalling for Time was not only a super interesting read, but a great asset to learn how to make real connections with people, in your professional life and personal.
I (along with my book club) was lucky enough to speak with the author for a bit, and it was an amazing experience to hear the man behind so many negotiations. Stalling for Time was not only a super interesting read, but a great asset to learn how to make real connections with people, in your professional life and personal.
September 3, 2025
3.8 ⭐️
This was the second book on negotiation I read and it has been on my TBR for a while after having watched the miniseries 'Waco' which I found fascinating.
Gary Noesner recounts many other stories about his experience, but I believe the one about Waco is indeed the longest chapter as it is arguably one of the FBI's biggest failures and miscommunications in history to this very day.
I thouroughly enjoyed this, and would recommend it to anyone who is interested in this topic. It wasn't just okay enough to give it 3-stars, but I also didn't think it was deserving of 4-stars due to some chapters just being a bit long-winded.
Overall, it was good.
This was the second book on negotiation I read and it has been on my TBR for a while after having watched the miniseries 'Waco' which I found fascinating.
Gary Noesner recounts many other stories about his experience, but I believe the one about Waco is indeed the longest chapter as it is arguably one of the FBI's biggest failures and miscommunications in history to this very day.
I thouroughly enjoyed this, and would recommend it to anyone who is interested in this topic. It wasn't just okay enough to give it 3-stars, but I also didn't think it was deserving of 4-stars due to some chapters just being a bit long-winded.
Overall, it was good.
August 2, 2020
The writing in this book isn’t great, but I appreciated reading Noesner’s experiences. I mostly read this to read his comments about Waco and compare it to the recent dramatic documentary on Netflix, so I enjoyed hearing the actual story.
July 23, 2018
After watching the recent Waco miniseries, I became more interested in hostage negotiation and Gary Noesner, a lead hostage negotiator for the FBI. I come away from this book with a greater appreciation for the role negotiators play in solving some situations and with interest in learning more about some of the cases mentioned. The details on when and why in the process to offer some concessions to the hostage taker(s) was especially interesting. As it is written by a negotiator, the bias toward negotiation over tactical solutions is evident - i.e. if negotiation ever failed (as in Waco) it is completely the tactical response's fault. While that's probably true in some cases, I'm not sure its true always. Although, to Noesner's credit he does give one example where negotiators prompted tactical to take the shot. This short book is written well with just enough information in its short 226 pages to make me interested to read more about hostage negotiation.
August 8, 2012
I just finished reading an advanced review copy of "Stalling For Time: My Life As An FBI Hostage Negotiator" by Gary Noesner, and I found it to be an engaging, interesting, and enlightening read. I didn't want to put it down. Noesner, who spent 30 years in the FBI and retired as the chief of the FBI's Crisis Negotiation Unit shares some of his fascinating stories along with his beliefs regarding hostage negotiations. It is very well written, in a comfortable engaging manner, and through the stories and his beliefs the reader gains a better understanding of what hostage negotiation is all about - saving lives. One might also pick up a thing or two that may help with other negotiations and relationships. As someone who teaches negotiation, I enjoyed analyzing the differences between the business and legal negotiations I conduct and the hostage negotiations of Noesner.
The book starts out with a bang, almost literally, and it continues to engage throughout. One really gets a sense that Noesner is genuine, and it is a trait that served him well throughout his career. He cared about those he tried to save, and you can feel the pain he felt when negotiations failed and people died.
Reading the book about Noesner's career was like looking back at major incidents most of us read about in newspapers or watched on evening news. But rather than see what the media portrayed, with this book we get to see behind the scenes. Some of the familiar headlines that Noesner sheds light on include: Randy Weaver at Ruby Ridge, David Koresh and the Branch Davidians at Waco, and the Freemen near Jordan, Montana. Noesner does not sensationalize these stories, but does tell his and his team's part in the incidents, and he shares what he believes went right and where things failed. They dynamics between the negotiating teams and the tactical teams were interesting, and like many groups, they sometimes worked well together, and at other times were at odds with each other. Noesner shares the triumphs they shared as well as his frustrations when the different units seemed to oppose each other rather than cooperate for the success of the mission.
As the title states, this book is about Noesner's life as a hostage negotiator, and not a negotiation "how to" text. However, one can't help but learn a few things about negotiation and conflict resolution while reading. The importance of remaining calm and managing your emotions, learning from your mistakes, and remembering what your mission is, are some of the common themes among various negotiations. But most of all, it is an enjoyable read about the life of a hostage negotiator. I recommend it highly.
The book starts out with a bang, almost literally, and it continues to engage throughout. One really gets a sense that Noesner is genuine, and it is a trait that served him well throughout his career. He cared about those he tried to save, and you can feel the pain he felt when negotiations failed and people died.
Reading the book about Noesner's career was like looking back at major incidents most of us read about in newspapers or watched on evening news. But rather than see what the media portrayed, with this book we get to see behind the scenes. Some of the familiar headlines that Noesner sheds light on include: Randy Weaver at Ruby Ridge, David Koresh and the Branch Davidians at Waco, and the Freemen near Jordan, Montana. Noesner does not sensationalize these stories, but does tell his and his team's part in the incidents, and he shares what he believes went right and where things failed. They dynamics between the negotiating teams and the tactical teams were interesting, and like many groups, they sometimes worked well together, and at other times were at odds with each other. Noesner shares the triumphs they shared as well as his frustrations when the different units seemed to oppose each other rather than cooperate for the success of the mission.
As the title states, this book is about Noesner's life as a hostage negotiator, and not a negotiation "how to" text. However, one can't help but learn a few things about negotiation and conflict resolution while reading. The importance of remaining calm and managing your emotions, learning from your mistakes, and remembering what your mission is, are some of the common themes among various negotiations. But most of all, it is an enjoyable read about the life of a hostage negotiator. I recommend it highly.
June 12, 2015
Waco, Texas: Who can forget that? Gary Noesner was a negotiator at that disastrous event.
Few things can be more chancy than negotiating when hostages are involved. The situation is intense, people are scared and confused, the atmosphere is primed for explosion, and plenty of things can set off a tragic ending. Sometimes, everything works out to a happy conclusion. Sometimes, not.
In such an event, there is great pressure by the authorities to conclude things quickly. A police or FBI presence will require so many resources that the cost -- in dollars and manpower -- can only be supported for a limited time. If all your people are tied up in some place like Waco, what do you do if another huge event happens? So, understandably, the commanders will press for resolution. They can be patient for a while, but not forever.
In this book, there seemed to be a constant tension between the negotiators and the tactical team. Somehow, the tactical guys always came off as being too aggressive. Every time the situation ended up with death, the site commanders got the blame. Is that really fair? I doubt it. Given the volatility of such intense events, it would seem reasonable to expect only part of them to be concluded without an explosion. Surely, many will go off, no matter what.
Few things can be more chancy than negotiating when hostages are involved. The situation is intense, people are scared and confused, the atmosphere is primed for explosion, and plenty of things can set off a tragic ending. Sometimes, everything works out to a happy conclusion. Sometimes, not.
In such an event, there is great pressure by the authorities to conclude things quickly. A police or FBI presence will require so many resources that the cost -- in dollars and manpower -- can only be supported for a limited time. If all your people are tied up in some place like Waco, what do you do if another huge event happens? So, understandably, the commanders will press for resolution. They can be patient for a while, but not forever.
In this book, there seemed to be a constant tension between the negotiators and the tactical team. Somehow, the tactical guys always came off as being too aggressive. Every time the situation ended up with death, the site commanders got the blame. Is that really fair? I doubt it. Given the volatility of such intense events, it would seem reasonable to expect only part of them to be concluded without an explosion. Surely, many will go off, no matter what.
May 7, 2015
The author's explanation of how the relationship between negotiators and SWAT teams can be difficult: "It's much easier to go tactical after failed negotiations than to negotiate after failed tactics. I know of at least one case in which a police marksman missed when he took a shot at a barricaded perpetrator. It was then a major challenge for the negotiators to try to convince the subject that the authorities were really there to help and didn't want to do him harm."
The author worked for the FBI for decades and provides details about Ruby Ridge, Waco, the 1996 attack on the Japanese embassy in Peru, the Washington, DC snipers, and many other cases. He also was present during the Vieques protests in Puerto Rico, but those are not well known because they were a huge success. "Predictably, because no one was killed and nothing was burned down, this news event quickly fell off the national radar screen. But I couldn't have been more pleased and proud of my negotiation team."
The author worked for the FBI for decades and provides details about Ruby Ridge, Waco, the 1996 attack on the Japanese embassy in Peru, the Washington, DC snipers, and many other cases. He also was present during the Vieques protests in Puerto Rico, but those are not well known because they were a huge success. "Predictably, because no one was killed and nothing was burned down, this news event quickly fell off the national radar screen. But I couldn't have been more pleased and proud of my negotiation team."
August 12, 2018
I highly recommend this book. I don't understand why a person would read fiction when there are so many amazing and true stories in this world.
I was absolutely hooked in the first few pages.
One star was deducted because the chip in the author's shoulder does get awkwardly in the way sometimes. There is a lot of tension between the tactical team and the negotiating team in the author's point of view; all failures are the fault of the tactical team. This becomes tedious to read.
Finally, several of the incidents take place in Northern Virginia, where the author lives. This was interesting because it was in my backyard (so to speak) and it was fun to read about places where I have been, such as Sperryville, Warrenton, Fredericksburg and Quantico.
I was absolutely hooked in the first few pages.
One star was deducted because the chip in the author's shoulder does get awkwardly in the way sometimes. There is a lot of tension between the tactical team and the negotiating team in the author's point of view; all failures are the fault of the tactical team. This becomes tedious to read.
Finally, several of the incidents take place in Northern Virginia, where the author lives. This was interesting because it was in my backyard (so to speak) and it was fun to read about places where I have been, such as Sperryville, Warrenton, Fredericksburg and Quantico.
June 20, 2021
Interesting anecdotes but not too much else. There’s a lot of macho blustering and I-told-you-so isms. The author definitely has a chip on his shoulder from feeling marginalized behind the guys with flack jackets and fancy tactical assault weapons. And beyond a few nuggets of communication expertise and reflection as to “people really want to feel listened to“ there’s not much going on here beyond the entertainment value.
March 25, 2013
For nonfiction, this was actually really absorbing; I read it cover to cover. The book was informative without being dry, and the little bits of insight into huge events (Waco) were really enlightening. You pick up rather easily that Noesner really was dedicated to his job, and that makes it more appealing to read.
April 8, 2025
Draw #6 of the 52+2 Deck:
STALLING FOR TIME: My Life as an FBI Hostage Negotiator by Gary Noesner
————————————————————————
“From what I've observed, the happiest and most successful people tend to be those who are able to remain calm at these difficult times and put aside emotions such as pride or anger that stop them from finding common ground. We all need to be good listeners and learn to demonstrate our empathy and understanding of the problems, needs, and issues of others. Only then can we hope to influence their behavior in a positive way.
You might even say that all of life is a negotiation.”
***
My main thought was okay, this guy is a badass. Came for the Waco and DC Shooter play-by-play, stayed for an excellent lecture on how to be a better person. Noesner comes off like the Quintessential Dad throughout, full of life lessons and constantly saying he needs to spend more time at home yet can’t help but go all in on his job. While each story puts him in direct contact with a new danger, that fatherly demeanor translates into something crucial for connecting to these desperate and disturbed criminals. Putting people at ease is an under-appreciated skill, one Noesner proves could be life-changing if practiced properly.
I wanted to read this because I couldn’t be farther from a hostage negotiator (outside of dinner time with my daughter). Where does someone get the confidence for that kind of job? Or the clear-headed decision making skills? This is a major lesson in understanding the difference between people’s perspectives. We assume everyone is put together the same, the same wires connecting the same way. But we all process the world differently, sometimes in ways we can’t even fathom because we are so caught up in our own heads. Knowing this is imperative to avoiding disasters like the ones in this book (and even smaller ones in our daily lives).
It’s frustrating that some people — often those with authority — believe force and brutality are the only solutions to problems. It’s tiring watching leaders shut out reason, ignoring precedent and choosing paths that tread the same historical mistakes. I appreciated Noesner’s quote here:
“The psychological makeup of traditional laws enforcement officers tends to include a fair amount of classic controlling behavior, though they may not be self-aware enough to realize it on any conscious level. That typical law enforcement profile can also include a fair amount of arrogance.”
It all boils down to empathy, doesn’t it? Sure, it’s hard to have any for the types of people that commit crimes like this. But it can be a useful tool to circumvent their motives in order to stave off further damage and save lives. We can be calculating, we can be listeners, and we can be strong, all at the same time. For Noesner, it was a crucial tactic for ending a siege. For the rest of us, it could mean preserving what’s left of ourselves. It’s astounding how hard it is for some to see this universal thread, and how hard certain entities work to put a wedge through it.
STALLING FOR TIME: My Life as an FBI Hostage Negotiator by Gary Noesner
————————————————————————
“From what I've observed, the happiest and most successful people tend to be those who are able to remain calm at these difficult times and put aside emotions such as pride or anger that stop them from finding common ground. We all need to be good listeners and learn to demonstrate our empathy and understanding of the problems, needs, and issues of others. Only then can we hope to influence their behavior in a positive way.
You might even say that all of life is a negotiation.”
***
My main thought was okay, this guy is a badass. Came for the Waco and DC Shooter play-by-play, stayed for an excellent lecture on how to be a better person. Noesner comes off like the Quintessential Dad throughout, full of life lessons and constantly saying he needs to spend more time at home yet can’t help but go all in on his job. While each story puts him in direct contact with a new danger, that fatherly demeanor translates into something crucial for connecting to these desperate and disturbed criminals. Putting people at ease is an under-appreciated skill, one Noesner proves could be life-changing if practiced properly.
I wanted to read this because I couldn’t be farther from a hostage negotiator (outside of dinner time with my daughter). Where does someone get the confidence for that kind of job? Or the clear-headed decision making skills? This is a major lesson in understanding the difference between people’s perspectives. We assume everyone is put together the same, the same wires connecting the same way. But we all process the world differently, sometimes in ways we can’t even fathom because we are so caught up in our own heads. Knowing this is imperative to avoiding disasters like the ones in this book (and even smaller ones in our daily lives).
It’s frustrating that some people — often those with authority — believe force and brutality are the only solutions to problems. It’s tiring watching leaders shut out reason, ignoring precedent and choosing paths that tread the same historical mistakes. I appreciated Noesner’s quote here:
“The psychological makeup of traditional laws enforcement officers tends to include a fair amount of classic controlling behavior, though they may not be self-aware enough to realize it on any conscious level. That typical law enforcement profile can also include a fair amount of arrogance.”
It all boils down to empathy, doesn’t it? Sure, it’s hard to have any for the types of people that commit crimes like this. But it can be a useful tool to circumvent their motives in order to stave off further damage and save lives. We can be calculating, we can be listeners, and we can be strong, all at the same time. For Noesner, it was a crucial tactic for ending a siege. For the rest of us, it could mean preserving what’s left of ourselves. It’s astounding how hard it is for some to see this universal thread, and how hard certain entities work to put a wedge through it.
June 8, 2022
I've been wanting to read this book for awhile now.
Gary Noesner was the very first Chief Negotiator for the FBI and worked numerous high profile cases over his 30 year career. Noesner had a big part in creating the overall protocols used in hostage negotiation, most of which we still use today. Over the years, I've followed many cases that he's been involved with. Even if you don't know his name, I'm willing to bet you remember the Ruby Ridge and Waco Sieges, the Talladega Prison Riot, and the D.C. Sniper Attacks.
Being a hostage negotiator takes so much patience, willpower, and calming abilities. Reading about these cases was astonishing. I was caught off guard in the first chapter when deadly force was presented as the best outcome. It made me wonder if this book was actually going to be about negotiations, or if it was just cementing the terrible things that associated with government officials using deadly force. But I'm glad I powered through. This really is a book about creating an environment where both parties come out virtually unharmed.
Definitely a good read.
More true crime book reviews on A Reader's Diary.
Gary Noesner was the very first Chief Negotiator for the FBI and worked numerous high profile cases over his 30 year career. Noesner had a big part in creating the overall protocols used in hostage negotiation, most of which we still use today. Over the years, I've followed many cases that he's been involved with. Even if you don't know his name, I'm willing to bet you remember the Ruby Ridge and Waco Sieges, the Talladega Prison Riot, and the D.C. Sniper Attacks.
Being a hostage negotiator takes so much patience, willpower, and calming abilities. Reading about these cases was astonishing. I was caught off guard in the first chapter when deadly force was presented as the best outcome. It made me wonder if this book was actually going to be about negotiations, or if it was just cementing the terrible things that associated with government officials using deadly force. But I'm glad I powered through. This really is a book about creating an environment where both parties come out virtually unharmed.
Definitely a good read.
More true crime book reviews on A Reader's Diary.
October 29, 2020
This books was a super insightful approach to all confrontational situations, not just law enforcement sieges but also the relationship between the military and diplomacy, and many others. My key takeaways: there are limits to the effectiveness of a tactical (use of force) approach to law enforcement sieges and loss of life can be prevented through positive use of negotiation. I think the same thing can be achieved in foreign policy. The more challenging question posed by Noesner: how do you balance the carrot with the stick? In the epilogue, he brings up the use of the "carrot" in Iraq in 2005, 06, 07 when positive relationships with the US presence in Iraq led to Sunnis turning on Al-Qaeda in Iraq, helping to curb the insurgency. This example unfortunately shows a second crucial takeaway: the importance of having a unified message and strategy -- thus Nuri al-Maliki's destruction of the relationships born from the Sunni Awakening led to a worsening of the security situation in Iraq.
The book is most known for the siege of Waco, which has the Netflix series. This story is incredibly tragic and the TV show does that tragedy justice. It is also the case-in-point of how negotiation and tactical strategy can be at odds in these kinds of situations. Overall, I enjoyed this book and think people can get a lot out of it
The book is most known for the siege of Waco, which has the Netflix series. This story is incredibly tragic and the TV show does that tragedy justice. It is also the case-in-point of how negotiation and tactical strategy can be at odds in these kinds of situations. Overall, I enjoyed this book and think people can get a lot out of it
June 22, 2025
Although it may not seem like the kind of book a lot or people would want to read, especially given the struggles with over-reaching and often flailing government and security forces, it really is a must-read about that gives you hope that there are good guys out there trying. The author recounts his life as well as the biggest cases he worked on in an unfiltered and frank way. Although there are many frustrating roadblocks during is career, his unwavering belief in the human touch proves the best strategy, following all the accomplishments the author establishes as changes to procedures gives you hope that sometimes we do learn from the past.
June 2, 2024
I really wished there was a .5 so I could give a 3.5. I started this book because I thought it would be all about Waco but instead it was about multiple hostage situations. It was still an interesting read all in all. It makes you stop and realize that what we see is not all there is to the situation. Multiple people are working hard behind the scene to get everyone out safely and to resolve the situation quickly. My top appreciation goes out to all the people involved in settling a hostage ordeal!!
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