This is the story of a life... a man's life. A man who is narcissistic, sociopathic, and a charming gentleman to no one. He hates people and loves pizza. His friends call him "Bob," but that's not because his name is Robert. It's because he has no friends. No one calls him Bob. He would rather stick his tongue between the cloven hooves of a pig than have friends. This man is the best person on the face of the earth, in his own mind. This man's name is Caleb.