What do you think?
Rate this book
As Long As Love Lasts
2018 - She doesn't know if a marriage is worth fighting for.
Peyton Kennedy quantifies everything in terms of numbers and risk. She looks at a problem and solves it, leaving no piece of the puzzle out. When her young, too-whimsical wife inherits a derelict farmhouse from a distant aunt, Peyton can only see the bottom line. Too much work. Too much money. Time. Energy. Definitely not worth saving.
But her wife knows how to get her way and Peyton finds herself roped into renovations. This… this may be the straw that breaks her marriage's back, and Peyton's worried about how not worried that makes her.
That is, until a seventy-year-old bundle of letters and a time-worn diary fall on her head.
Before she knows it, Peyton is drawn into the story of her wife’s great aunt, Marty, a woman who dared defy social conventions for the love of another woman.
1939 - She doesn't know what love is.
Marty Bell thinks life will fall neatly into place. Her mother has expectations: A husband, wealthy enough to give Marty security for the rest of her days. When she meets a beautiful circus worker who shovels dung and pounds stakes for a living, it's the first time Marty sees that she can stray from the path.
Soon, her life is dictated by not just her mother, but the upheaval of war and the one thing she never expected to find: love.
And Marty will risk anything and everything to hold onto it.
This is the bittersweet tale of a diary, an elephant, and four women who know that few things matter more than finding someone who loves them just the way they are.
Peyton Kennedy quantifies everything in terms of numbers and risk. She looks at a problem and solves it, leaving no piece of the puzzle out. When her young, too-whimsical wife inherits a derelict farmhouse from a distant aunt, Peyton can only see the bottom line. Too much work. Too much money. Time. Energy. Definitely not worth saving.
But her wife knows how to get her way and Peyton finds herself roped into renovations. This… this may be the straw that breaks her marriage's back, and Peyton's worried about how not worried that makes her.
That is, until a seventy-year-old bundle of letters and a time-worn diary fall on her head.
Before she knows it, Peyton is drawn into the story of her wife’s great aunt, Marty, a woman who dared defy social conventions for the love of another woman.
1939 - She doesn't know what love is.
Marty Bell thinks life will fall neatly into place. Her mother has expectations: A husband, wealthy enough to give Marty security for the rest of her days. When she meets a beautiful circus worker who shovels dung and pounds stakes for a living, it's the first time Marty sees that she can stray from the path.
Soon, her life is dictated by not just her mother, but the upheaval of war and the one thing she never expected to find: love.
And Marty will risk anything and everything to hold onto it.
This is the bittersweet tale of a diary, an elephant, and four women who know that few things matter more than finding someone who loves them just the way they are.
404 pages, Kindle Edition
First published July 31, 2018
37 people are currently reading
162 people want to read
About the author
Jea Hawkins
30 books84 followersJea Hawkins writes sweet and spicy contemporary lesbian romance. She writes all her paranormal romance and urban fantasy as Lucy True.
Regardless of genre, if love conquers all, then she’d like to think her heroines can rule the world one day. An east coast transplant to the Midwest, she loves to write about complicated women and settings that feel like home. Her historical / contemporary romance, As Long As Love Lasts, has been nominated for a GCLS Literary Award.
Personal addictions include genealogy, autumn, cozy sweaters, hot chocolate, and the Sims 3. She’s both an avid reader and gamer, and hopes readers don’t mind a few geeky references here and there in her work.
Regardless of genre, if love conquers all, then she’d like to think her heroines can rule the world one day. An east coast transplant to the Midwest, she loves to write about complicated women and settings that feel like home. Her historical / contemporary romance, As Long As Love Lasts, has been nominated for a GCLS Literary Award.
Personal addictions include genealogy, autumn, cozy sweaters, hot chocolate, and the Sims 3. She’s both an avid reader and gamer, and hopes readers don’t mind a few geeky references here and there in her work.
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 30 of 31 reviews
March 4, 2020
Pets. Some people have cats (I have two), some have dogs. Some even have chinchillas. Marty Bell had an elephant. And that’s not even what’s most surprising about her story.
When her wife Brooke inherited her great-aunt Marty’s farm in upstate New York, Peyton Kennedy thought they’d sell it and go back to their life in New York City. Brooke insists on renovating the house and what Brooke wants, Brooke usually gets. Peyton knows how often undertaking such huge work can break a relationship, and their marriage is already shaky. But when they find a box full of letters and an old diary hidden behind drywall, Peyton immerses herself in Aunt Marty’s love affair with another woman, Vera, a circus worker.
Historical novels are not my go-to at all. I like them well enough when I read them, but they’re rarely my first choice. Neither are flashbacks. I shouldn’t have liked this book so much. And yet here I am, giving it five stars.
The letters and diary tell a story of young love (in every way, as Vera is seventeen and Marty eighteen when they first meet), discovery of oneself, of love, of loving someone of the same sex, of hoping for a future together and how life (and war) gets in the way, while, in parallel, Peyton and Brooke are a longish-term couple – they’ve been married for five years – in a rocky marriage. When the novel begins, Peyton is wondering whether it’s all worth the effort and keeps a divorce lawyer card in her wallet. The contemporary story is told from Peyton’s point of view so at first, all we see of Brooke is what Peyton is annoyed with. As the story develops, Brooke’s real personality breaks through and, through Peyton’s eyes, the reader gets to know a much less shallow and much more loving person. This couple seems doomed from the start yet Peyton comes to understand her wife is not the only one responsible for their problems and lets herself rediscover the woman she loves.
Vera and Marty’s story, beyond their love and the elephant (there really is an elephant but I am not spoiling this), opens a window onto the life of women in the late 1930s, WWII and later. Their characters show that, despite their environment, strong women managed to live independent and, to some degree, happy lives. The main message of the novel is how much has changed (and still needs to change) for women in general, and for lesbians especially, but also that badass women have always been around.
As Long As Love Lasts works really well as an audiobook. I love Lori Prince’s voice, I especially loved her voice for Brooke, and I’ll forgive the sometimes-awkward pauses for the way she says “desire”.
All this makes for an emotional read / listen, sad and hopeful at the same time, with so many feelings that I’m not recovered yet.
When her wife Brooke inherited her great-aunt Marty’s farm in upstate New York, Peyton Kennedy thought they’d sell it and go back to their life in New York City. Brooke insists on renovating the house and what Brooke wants, Brooke usually gets. Peyton knows how often undertaking such huge work can break a relationship, and their marriage is already shaky. But when they find a box full of letters and an old diary hidden behind drywall, Peyton immerses herself in Aunt Marty’s love affair with another woman, Vera, a circus worker.
Historical novels are not my go-to at all. I like them well enough when I read them, but they’re rarely my first choice. Neither are flashbacks. I shouldn’t have liked this book so much. And yet here I am, giving it five stars.
The letters and diary tell a story of young love (in every way, as Vera is seventeen and Marty eighteen when they first meet), discovery of oneself, of love, of loving someone of the same sex, of hoping for a future together and how life (and war) gets in the way, while, in parallel, Peyton and Brooke are a longish-term couple – they’ve been married for five years – in a rocky marriage. When the novel begins, Peyton is wondering whether it’s all worth the effort and keeps a divorce lawyer card in her wallet. The contemporary story is told from Peyton’s point of view so at first, all we see of Brooke is what Peyton is annoyed with. As the story develops, Brooke’s real personality breaks through and, through Peyton’s eyes, the reader gets to know a much less shallow and much more loving person. This couple seems doomed from the start yet Peyton comes to understand her wife is not the only one responsible for their problems and lets herself rediscover the woman she loves.
Vera and Marty’s story, beyond their love and the elephant (there really is an elephant but I am not spoiling this), opens a window onto the life of women in the late 1930s, WWII and later. Their characters show that, despite their environment, strong women managed to live independent and, to some degree, happy lives. The main message of the novel is how much has changed (and still needs to change) for women in general, and for lesbians especially, but also that badass women have always been around.
As Long As Love Lasts works really well as an audiobook. I love Lori Prince’s voice, I especially loved her voice for Brooke, and I’ll forgive the sometimes-awkward pauses for the way she says “desire”.
All this makes for an emotional read / listen, sad and hopeful at the same time, with so many feelings that I’m not recovered yet.
December 24, 2018
An emotional roller coaster of a book! If you liked those 2 books: Letters never sent and neither present time, then you will love this one..
my only issue is I didn’t like the 2 present main characters (the book has 4 main characters, 2 present and 2 historical)..
Because of the unbelievable story of the 2 historical characters, their struggle and the connection between them, I had to give the book a 5!
Those books for me are very personal because unfortunately the so called historical period where gays struggle, is not historical for me as my part of the world still remains in this era!
So ladies, don’t take your freedom for granted, some people still live in a world where being gay is forbidden by law, let alone society!! *drops the mic * :)
my only issue is I didn’t like the 2 present main characters (the book has 4 main characters, 2 present and 2 historical)..
Because of the unbelievable story of the 2 historical characters, their struggle and the connection between them, I had to give the book a 5!
Those books for me are very personal because unfortunately the so called historical period where gays struggle, is not historical for me as my part of the world still remains in this era!
So ladies, don’t take your freedom for granted, some people still live in a world where being gay is forbidden by law, let alone society!! *drops the mic * :)
January 5, 2019
Hold on as I collect my breath....
.....whhhhhheeewwww. After I finished this I stared in space for a good 10 minutes trying to collect my emotions and my thoughts. My spouse walked in and was like "um, you ok?" My response being an open mouth and glazed expression. What a read!
I've read a few books that move from present to past, chapter to chapter and am realizing more and more how much this works for me, only of course if the story can hold up. This one was quite exceptional, and I was moved by both present and past stories. I found myself getting caught up in Peyton's perception of her life and in the first chapter, was able to channel her annoyance with her own wife. And this gradually changed as Peyton herself realized her own shortcomings towards her relationship, and I had more sympathy for Brooke. Moving to the past relationship, I couldn't help but feel as heart-broken as Marty did when Vera kept leaving, and maybe still do feel somewhat frustrated by Vera's reasons. But I also understand mental health and PTSD, so I do believe why she had to go were for the good of the woman she so desperately loved.
And then the ending.....well, sobbing all over again. This is a good 4 stars, a few taken off for some annoying typos, and love scenes that were just a little too short. I would have liked to see more heat between Peyton and Brooke, which was very much glossed over even though we as readers have so much detail about their fractures. More intimacy was needed!
Guys, I now have to go build Ikea shelves while feeling all emotional. Gag. Wish me luck.
.....whhhhhheeewwww. After I finished this I stared in space for a good 10 minutes trying to collect my emotions and my thoughts. My spouse walked in and was like "um, you ok?" My response being an open mouth and glazed expression. What a read!
I've read a few books that move from present to past, chapter to chapter and am realizing more and more how much this works for me, only of course if the story can hold up. This one was quite exceptional, and I was moved by both present and past stories. I found myself getting caught up in Peyton's perception of her life and in the first chapter, was able to channel her annoyance with her own wife. And this gradually changed as Peyton herself realized her own shortcomings towards her relationship, and I had more sympathy for Brooke. Moving to the past relationship, I couldn't help but feel as heart-broken as Marty did when Vera kept leaving, and maybe still do feel somewhat frustrated by Vera's reasons. But I also understand mental health and PTSD, so I do believe why she had to go were for the good of the woman she so desperately loved.
And then the ending.....well, sobbing all over again. This is a good 4 stars, a few taken off for some annoying typos, and love scenes that were just a little too short. I would have liked to see more heat between Peyton and Brooke, which was very much glossed over even though we as readers have so much detail about their fractures. More intimacy was needed!
Guys, I now have to go build Ikea shelves while feeling all emotional. Gag. Wish me luck.
August 24, 2018
What can I say? Jea is one of my best friends, so this comes with a bias. Be forewarned.
I had the great fortune of doing the developmental edit on this novel. Let me say a few things.
1. It is at least 15,000 words, if not more, than her previous novels. They are words well placed.
2. She has seamlessly woven two plot lines together.
3. There's apples and elephants.
4. Each pass we made, it got better. I mean, I get that editing is supposed to help with this. But Jea is the one who made the story bloom. Petal by petal she opened it, cared for it, tended the flatter scenes with punch and toned down the nail-on-the-head emotions. She perfected it with love, and it SHOWS.
5. I truly can't believe it doesn't have more reviews and more people haven't read it. It is her best novel yet, hands down.
I had the great fortune of doing the developmental edit on this novel. Let me say a few things.
1. It is at least 15,000 words, if not more, than her previous novels. They are words well placed.
2. She has seamlessly woven two plot lines together.
3. There's apples and elephants.
4. Each pass we made, it got better. I mean, I get that editing is supposed to help with this. But Jea is the one who made the story bloom. Petal by petal she opened it, cared for it, tended the flatter scenes with punch and toned down the nail-on-the-head emotions. She perfected it with love, and it SHOWS.
5. I truly can't believe it doesn't have more reviews and more people haven't read it. It is her best novel yet, hands down.
April 7, 2021
Forever my heart
"Sometimes a kiss is more than just a kiss"
A forbidden love that started with curiosity and an elephant. I got so lost in this tale I didn't want it to end. I wanted to climb inside the pages and continue watching Vera and Marty fall in love. Many times throughout, I had to stop and wipe my tears away because I could feel the loss before it even happened. I knew, just as much as Marty knew, that the inevitable was going to happen. Vera was an unattainable butterfly who flitted off to wherever her hearts content. Her feet were never truly on the ground, and she had the kind of soul that lured people in, ensnared them with her liveliness and love, only to flit away, leaving them broken. I don't know how Marty went on living every time Vera walked out of her life, just out of arms reach, but remaining close enough to still feel that connection. I couldn't do it, I'd be a broken mess.
As Long As Love Lasts alternates between today with Peyton and Brooke, and 1929-1968 during Marty and Vera's time. It follows Peyton and Brooke, who were married in modern times with a failing marriage and a even more broken house to fix that was left by Brooke's aunt Marty. After discovering old diaries and countless letters from Marty's past, the women set out to dig deeper into the woman's hidden life. The more Peyton and Brooke worked on the house while learning more and more about Marty's forbidden relationship with Vera, the closer they grew and the cracks in their marriage mended. I have mad respect for Peyton for her tenacity to keep pushing on to find out more about her wife's aunt. Brooke was hesitant and stubborn in the beginning, not understanding why her wife was so interested in a woman she barely knew. Peyton, however, felt a connection to the kindred spirit of Marty and something deep inside kept her going.
My eyes welled up so many times reading this, partly because I understood Peyton and her connection to an almost perfect stranger, I know personally how that feels. I couldn't understand Brooke's hesitance, and for a bit, I assumed she was some self-involved, snooty little girl. With Marty's discovery, Peyton shed some light on her wife and we slowly understood why Brooke was the way she was; underappreciated. Peyton was just as at fault for allowing their marriage to crumble, but being involved so deeply in her own head, she couldn't see it, and blamed her wife. I felt the closer Peyton and Brooke got, the farther Marty and Vera got as their story was told through their letters. This story nearly broke me at times, because there was always, always an underlying sense of loss and heartache covered over with fake smiles and perfect manners regarding Marty and Vera's love. I truly thought this was going to end like some tragic Romeo and Juliet thing, fortunately, Hawkins ended it bittersweetly. No spoilers.
I cannot recommend enough. Such a beautiful yet heart wrenching story.
"Sometimes a kiss is more than just a kiss"
A forbidden love that started with curiosity and an elephant. I got so lost in this tale I didn't want it to end. I wanted to climb inside the pages and continue watching Vera and Marty fall in love. Many times throughout, I had to stop and wipe my tears away because I could feel the loss before it even happened. I knew, just as much as Marty knew, that the inevitable was going to happen. Vera was an unattainable butterfly who flitted off to wherever her hearts content. Her feet were never truly on the ground, and she had the kind of soul that lured people in, ensnared them with her liveliness and love, only to flit away, leaving them broken. I don't know how Marty went on living every time Vera walked out of her life, just out of arms reach, but remaining close enough to still feel that connection. I couldn't do it, I'd be a broken mess.
As Long As Love Lasts alternates between today with Peyton and Brooke, and 1929-1968 during Marty and Vera's time. It follows Peyton and Brooke, who were married in modern times with a failing marriage and a even more broken house to fix that was left by Brooke's aunt Marty. After discovering old diaries and countless letters from Marty's past, the women set out to dig deeper into the woman's hidden life. The more Peyton and Brooke worked on the house while learning more and more about Marty's forbidden relationship with Vera, the closer they grew and the cracks in their marriage mended. I have mad respect for Peyton for her tenacity to keep pushing on to find out more about her wife's aunt. Brooke was hesitant and stubborn in the beginning, not understanding why her wife was so interested in a woman she barely knew. Peyton, however, felt a connection to the kindred spirit of Marty and something deep inside kept her going.
My eyes welled up so many times reading this, partly because I understood Peyton and her connection to an almost perfect stranger, I know personally how that feels. I couldn't understand Brooke's hesitance, and for a bit, I assumed she was some self-involved, snooty little girl. With Marty's discovery, Peyton shed some light on her wife and we slowly understood why Brooke was the way she was; underappreciated. Peyton was just as at fault for allowing their marriage to crumble, but being involved so deeply in her own head, she couldn't see it, and blamed her wife. I felt the closer Peyton and Brooke got, the farther Marty and Vera got as their story was told through their letters. This story nearly broke me at times, because there was always, always an underlying sense of loss and heartache covered over with fake smiles and perfect manners regarding Marty and Vera's love. I truly thought this was going to end like some tragic Romeo and Juliet thing, fortunately, Hawkins ended it bittersweetly. No spoilers.
I cannot recommend enough. Such a beautiful yet heart wrenching story.
January 21, 2020
Parallel lives (an audio review)
I love layered and complex books that also have a simplicity to them. As Long As Love Lasts by Jea Hawkins is that book. The story starts out fairly simple – Peyton is on the verge of ending her marriage to Brooke and bubbly Brooke has no idea things are falling apart. The inheritance of Brooke’s great-aunt’s farm house is either going to make or break the marriage – as most reno projects are wont to do. The discovery of a trove of letters dating back more than half a century turns the women’s lives upside down. Suddenly Peyton has a good reason to stay married – if only to find out what happens to Brooke’s aunt, Marty.
Now, here is where I depart from the book. If I found a trove of letters and a diary, I would read them all in one or two days. Brooke and Peyton are disciplined, however, and take their time. Man, that frustrated me. Because I wanted to know how the story ended and instead I was taken on a beautiful journey that lasted nine hours. Time well spent, I promise you.
Marty was a young woman when she met circus carnie Vera. The attraction was almost instantaneous and the two women spent what little time they could together and although they made no promises, when the circus moved on, Marty held on to the hope she would see Vera again. They do, eventually, and here’s where the elephant comes in. You’ll just have to read to figure out how Alberta fits into the story but a few laughs on my part were had. I loved that the difficulties of being a lesbian in the 1940s and 1950s wasn’t glossed over – the women faced some tough challenges such as how to find a way to be together without being discovered. Of how to fall in love with someone while society expects something very different from you.
As Peyton and Brooke unravel the mystery of Vera and Marty, they have a few things in their lives they have to deal with. Because this journey into the past is either going to strengthen them or tear them apart. And, of course, there’s always the parallel journey of Vera and Marty.
The book is told in alternating chapters, the voice changing between Peyton and Marty. I loved this structure because it pulled me through the past and interwove present day, as I said, paralleling the two relationships. This is a Jea Hawkins romance, so I figured a happy ending was in the cards for the modern-day couple, I just didn’t know what would happen to the women from the past.
Lori Prince narrated this story and she was the perfect choice. She differentiated the four women clearly and even gave Vera that tobacco-laden voice. I was drawn into in the story and Lori held me there, richly immersed in both past and present. I always love the combination of Lori and Jea – I get well written and well performed books.
I love layered and complex books that also have a simplicity to them. As Long As Love Lasts by Jea Hawkins is that book. The story starts out fairly simple – Peyton is on the verge of ending her marriage to Brooke and bubbly Brooke has no idea things are falling apart. The inheritance of Brooke’s great-aunt’s farm house is either going to make or break the marriage – as most reno projects are wont to do. The discovery of a trove of letters dating back more than half a century turns the women’s lives upside down. Suddenly Peyton has a good reason to stay married – if only to find out what happens to Brooke’s aunt, Marty.
Now, here is where I depart from the book. If I found a trove of letters and a diary, I would read them all in one or two days. Brooke and Peyton are disciplined, however, and take their time. Man, that frustrated me. Because I wanted to know how the story ended and instead I was taken on a beautiful journey that lasted nine hours. Time well spent, I promise you.
Marty was a young woman when she met circus carnie Vera. The attraction was almost instantaneous and the two women spent what little time they could together and although they made no promises, when the circus moved on, Marty held on to the hope she would see Vera again. They do, eventually, and here’s where the elephant comes in. You’ll just have to read to figure out how Alberta fits into the story but a few laughs on my part were had. I loved that the difficulties of being a lesbian in the 1940s and 1950s wasn’t glossed over – the women faced some tough challenges such as how to find a way to be together without being discovered. Of how to fall in love with someone while society expects something very different from you.
As Peyton and Brooke unravel the mystery of Vera and Marty, they have a few things in their lives they have to deal with. Because this journey into the past is either going to strengthen them or tear them apart. And, of course, there’s always the parallel journey of Vera and Marty.
The book is told in alternating chapters, the voice changing between Peyton and Marty. I loved this structure because it pulled me through the past and interwove present day, as I said, paralleling the two relationships. This is a Jea Hawkins romance, so I figured a happy ending was in the cards for the modern-day couple, I just didn’t know what would happen to the women from the past.
Lori Prince narrated this story and she was the perfect choice. She differentiated the four women clearly and even gave Vera that tobacco-laden voice. I was drawn into in the story and Lori held me there, richly immersed in both past and present. I always love the combination of Lori and Jea – I get well written and well performed books.
December 6, 2018
As most of you know I love historical fiction novels. When I saw that As Long As Love Lasts by Jea Hawkins was a mixture of a contemporary and a historical romance I was intrigued and this book did not disappoint.
I really enjoyed the concept of the contemporary characters, Payton and Brooke, learning about their Aunt Marty’s life through the diary and letters they found. It really helped to develop their relationship to something that was falling apart, just like Marty’s old house, to something with a solid foundation. While their relationship was sweet, Marty and Vera’s relationship sucked me in and wouldn’t let go.
The sections of the book focusing on Marty and Vera’s relationship were my favorite parts. There was something about their chemistry that was deeply intoxicating, and I wanted to know more. In a time where their love wasn’t accepted, they found a way to be together until war pulled them apart. Vera was my favorite character even though you never hear things through her point of view. She was just so interesting. You could tell there was so much more to her story than was told in the book. Her secrets kept me wanting more. Also, who wouldn’t love a woman who comes with her own elephant.
I would recommend this book to anyone who likes historical fiction.
I really enjoyed the concept of the contemporary characters, Payton and Brooke, learning about their Aunt Marty’s life through the diary and letters they found. It really helped to develop their relationship to something that was falling apart, just like Marty’s old house, to something with a solid foundation. While their relationship was sweet, Marty and Vera’s relationship sucked me in and wouldn’t let go.
The sections of the book focusing on Marty and Vera’s relationship were my favorite parts. There was something about their chemistry that was deeply intoxicating, and I wanted to know more. In a time where their love wasn’t accepted, they found a way to be together until war pulled them apart. Vera was my favorite character even though you never hear things through her point of view. She was just so interesting. You could tell there was so much more to her story than was told in the book. Her secrets kept me wanting more. Also, who wouldn’t love a woman who comes with her own elephant.
I would recommend this book to anyone who likes historical fiction.
September 15, 2018
This is an unexpectedly good read which tugged at my heartstrings, I finished reading the book in one seating and will definitely be reading more works by the author. When I was reading this book, I cannot help but think of Sandra Moran’s Letters Never Sent, HP Munro’s Silver Wings and Caren Werlinger’s Neither Present Time
March 12, 2019
I did not like 3 of the 4 MC's so this was a slow read for me. In fact, I read another book in-between reading this. I usually like historical books but this one did not resonate with me. This is one for the give-away pile.
September 5, 2018
Wow. Just wow. This book is amazing. It’s a roller coaster that still has me in tears, but I’m pretty sure they are happy tears.
This is absolutely one of the best books I’ve read. It was also challenging and I want to know so much more.
This is absolutely one of the best books I’ve read. It was also challenging and I want to know so much more.
January 5, 2019
I wanted to love this as much as everyone else. One of the reviews likened this to 'Letters Never Sent' which is one of my favorites. This just wasn't it for me.
What I liked was the idea of this book. Woven back in forth between present and past.
I did not like the modern day coupling. They were an existing married couple going through a rough patch. But Peyton was completely unlikable and she was never redeemed in my mind. I don't know why Brooke put up with her at all. She was a saint (despite Peyton's horrible perception of her).
The romance that happens in the past was better. However I always felt awkward about Vera. I think that is the point as there was mystery behind her character. But I think that worked against feeling any type of real connection. Also, the many time gaps had me mostly frustrated.
And I wasn't satisfied by the ending.
So why the 4 star rating? I gave it 3.5 because it is well written and I was invested in what happened. I may have not liked the characters, but it doesn't mean this isn't a decent book (obviously, according to all the other reviews). I rounded up to 4 because it made me cry.
What I liked was the idea of this book. Woven back in forth between present and past.
I did not like the modern day coupling. They were an existing married couple going through a rough patch. But Peyton was completely unlikable and she was never redeemed in my mind. I don't know why Brooke put up with her at all. She was a saint (despite Peyton's horrible perception of her).
The romance that happens in the past was better. However I always felt awkward about Vera. I think that is the point as there was mystery behind her character. But I think that worked against feeling any type of real connection. Also, the many time gaps had me mostly frustrated.
And I wasn't satisfied by the ending.
So why the 4 star rating? I gave it 3.5 because it is well written and I was invested in what happened. I may have not liked the characters, but it doesn't mean this isn't a decent book (obviously, according to all the other reviews). I rounded up to 4 because it made me cry.
July 24, 2023
3.5 Stars
July 27, 2025
4 stars. I liked this but I have to say that I was way more interested in the story between Marty and Vera than I was between Brooke and Peyton. I did like Peyton and Brooke and their relationship in trouble story was interesting if not repetitive but Vera and Marty were much more intriguing to me. The time period in which their romance takes place in was interesting and I was just really into it. The ending was kinda bittersweet to me but there’s a novella about them so I’m excited to get to that.
September 3, 2018
Wow. I was speechless for a few moments upon finishing this book.
I just finished this book and I had to sit back and think about all that happened. Characters are complex, the story is complex, with two plots unfolding at the same time. An NYC married, lesbian couple, whose marriage is in trouble, inherit a farm house and property from a great aunt located in upstate New York. While deciding to renovate or sell, they discover a bundle of letters and a diary buried in old lath work behind water damaged dry wall. As they read the diary, started in the 1930s, and renovate the house, an amazing love story unfolds about the Aunt and the women she falls in love with. The story told in the diary and letters inspires the married couple and has many interesting elements like an elephant and the WW II. I liked this book even though I was frustrated with some of the characters, it gives insight into the lesbians who came before us and their struggles to live their lives.
I just finished this book and I had to sit back and think about all that happened. Characters are complex, the story is complex, with two plots unfolding at the same time. An NYC married, lesbian couple, whose marriage is in trouble, inherit a farm house and property from a great aunt located in upstate New York. While deciding to renovate or sell, they discover a bundle of letters and a diary buried in old lath work behind water damaged dry wall. As they read the diary, started in the 1930s, and renovate the house, an amazing love story unfolds about the Aunt and the women she falls in love with. The story told in the diary and letters inspires the married couple and has many interesting elements like an elephant and the WW II. I liked this book even though I was frustrated with some of the characters, it gives insight into the lesbians who came before us and their struggles to live their lives.
February 4, 2020
A stunning read.
This is an exquisite love story, with all the joy and heartache love can bring. It deserves to be a bestseller, hell it deserves to be a film. Just gorgeous.
This is an exquisite love story, with all the joy and heartache love can bring. It deserves to be a bestseller, hell it deserves to be a film. Just gorgeous.
December 30, 2019
I loved this story! It’s one of those great romances that has parallel structures between the couples in a contemporary setting, and a couple in a historical setting. The modern couple is made of Peyton and Brooke (practical and bubbly in that order), whose marriage is on the rocks. Renovating the house Brooke inherited from her aunt Marty might be the thing that finally throws this rocky marriage into divorce.
As Peyton and Brooke renovate the house, we learn of Marty’s life, especially around World War II. She was a closeted lesbian at a time when she couldn’t live as openly as her niece and wife do now. As the modern couple works through the mysteries of the past, they find a way to repair their broken marriage and come out with their love stronger than ever.
Stories like this can be my jam. I remember loving Fried Green Tomatoes at the Whistle Stop Café when I read that at age 17. This was just as good. The details are evocative, and you feel for these different women. Maybe I saw a little of myself in them, too.
As far as the heat level of the novel, there is a sex scene between the historical couple, but most of the physical intimacy on the page is kept to kisses. This book doesn’t try to be erotica, but it does lean into the romantic love relationships between women.
This is probably one of the best books I have heard in all of 2019. I recommend this to those who enjoy WLW fic and historical drama. If you liked The Notebook, this could be a book for you.
Narrator Lori Prince’s performance here is up to her standard. She has a voice that sounds especially suited for younger characters, but not once did any of her acting choices sound too young or not appropriate. Prince reading Jea Hawkins’ novels is always a treat, and I look forward to the next one.
As Peyton and Brooke renovate the house, we learn of Marty’s life, especially around World War II. She was a closeted lesbian at a time when she couldn’t live as openly as her niece and wife do now. As the modern couple works through the mysteries of the past, they find a way to repair their broken marriage and come out with their love stronger than ever.
Stories like this can be my jam. I remember loving Fried Green Tomatoes at the Whistle Stop Café when I read that at age 17. This was just as good. The details are evocative, and you feel for these different women. Maybe I saw a little of myself in them, too.
As far as the heat level of the novel, there is a sex scene between the historical couple, but most of the physical intimacy on the page is kept to kisses. This book doesn’t try to be erotica, but it does lean into the romantic love relationships between women.
This is probably one of the best books I have heard in all of 2019. I recommend this to those who enjoy WLW fic and historical drama. If you liked The Notebook, this could be a book for you.
Narrator Lori Prince’s performance here is up to her standard. She has a voice that sounds especially suited for younger characters, but not once did any of her acting choices sound too young or not appropriate. Prince reading Jea Hawkins’ novels is always a treat, and I look forward to the next one.
March 29, 2020
This is a typical dual-time frame book with one story about a lesbian couple in a current time period whose relationship is on the rocks and the other about a couple who meet each other in 1939. While the characters are somewhat well developed, there are a few unbelievable or at least doubtful occurrences in the book and a few that were entirely predictable, none I will not describe here as they would contain spoilers. Personally, I couldn't wait for the story to end and then when it ended, I wanted to learn more about the couple from the earlier time. The narration was okay, not great, but okay. At times it was difficult to distinguish the characters between the generations as the voices were not different enough. For both couples, they are love stories and I appreciated the fact that the intimacies were described briefly with just enough to give a picture without being too erotic. Perhaps I would have enjoyed the printed book better as I could have skimmed through the parts of the book that were questionable and reached the parts that were more interesting. I hope that there is a follow-up book about the couple who met in the 30s.
August 11, 2018
Magnificent!
This is such a wonderfully well written story that actually encompasses two love stories, a contemporary one and one that began just prior to WW2. Brooke and her wife, Peyton, inherit Brooke's great aunt Marty's rundown house. When they discover a stash of letters and a diary hidden in the home's walls, they realize they have stumbled upon Marty's hidden life. The struggles all of these well developed characters face created a storyline that kept me engrossed non-stop. I fought tears often, and lost occasionally. This is one of the best books I've read in a long time! Be sure to put it on your must read list.
This is such a wonderfully well written story that actually encompasses two love stories, a contemporary one and one that began just prior to WW2. Brooke and her wife, Peyton, inherit Brooke's great aunt Marty's rundown house. When they discover a stash of letters and a diary hidden in the home's walls, they realize they have stumbled upon Marty's hidden life. The struggles all of these well developed characters face created a storyline that kept me engrossed non-stop. I fought tears often, and lost occasionally. This is one of the best books I've read in a long time! Be sure to put it on your must read list.
January 8, 2020
The romance storyline from the past is what kept me listening. Like most others have said, I wasn't a fan of the current day storyline- the 2 just weren't very likeable or developed so I wasn't invested in their story. Now Marty, Vera and the elephant... I was all sucked into that story. I wish there had been more of that story. Overall it was well written and I love the concept. Lori's narration is great. I wasn't sure about the ending... only because they didn't spell it out for me and it made me feel like I was missing something. But the pre-ending was a nice plot twist.
October 3, 2018
Amazing story
This is an amazing story. The pacing is fantastic. The storytelling style, switching between the story of the modern couple struggling to save their marriage and the story of Brook's Aunt Marty's relationship with the circus roustabout she fell for in the late 1930s, is incredibly effective. And the story itself, while fictionalized, always comes across as realistic.
This is an amazing story. The pacing is fantastic. The storytelling style, switching between the story of the modern couple struggling to save their marriage and the story of Brook's Aunt Marty's relationship with the circus roustabout she fell for in the late 1930s, is incredibly effective. And the story itself, while fictionalized, always comes across as realistic.
January 2, 2019
"I believe renovations are one of the major causes of divorce." It's a line that lays the foundation for a wonderful story of Peyton & Brooke and Brooke's Aunt Marty & Vera. Renovating the house Marty bequeathed to her niece Brooke may break or mend a marriage and as things happen the story of Marty & Vera's love and lives is told in a diary and letters. A wonderful story about love living through rough and happy times. A steady read that's got just the right amount of intrigue.
October 5, 2025
OMG - READ THIS BOOK!!!!
Not for the faint of heart - I ugly cried, bawled, got so choked up I couldn't breathe through my nose. And while I love a happily-ever after story as much as the next dyke this book touched my heart and my soul.
Two beautifully interwoven love stories - one from the 1940s and the other contemporary. The differences and parallels were riveting and beautiful rendered. I'm sending this book to one of my best friends immediately. It must be shared!
Not for the faint of heart - I ugly cried, bawled, got so choked up I couldn't breathe through my nose. And while I love a happily-ever after story as much as the next dyke this book touched my heart and my soul.
Two beautifully interwoven love stories - one from the 1940s and the other contemporary. The differences and parallels were riveting and beautiful rendered. I'm sending this book to one of my best friends immediately. It must be shared!
August 14, 2018
A lovely past present story of two failing relationships, and how love perseveres despite hardship. The characters were likable, though not the most understandable at times. Peyton did come across as a bit of a self-centered jerk at times. Vera and Marty's story was well told and the slow burn was lovely. Overall a lovely story.
July 28, 2019
Heart-wrenching and heartwarming
Let me just say, I don’t cry when I read stories. Now, let me tell you, this book, with its two completely developed, intertwined stories, really pulled on my heartstrings! The characters, especially Marty and Vera, are fantastic. I wish I could know them!
Let me just say, I don’t cry when I read stories. Now, let me tell you, this book, with its two completely developed, intertwined stories, really pulled on my heartstrings! The characters, especially Marty and Vera, are fantastic. I wish I could know them!
October 16, 2019
Great Read
I really enjoyed this story and I couldn't put it down. I was anxious to know what was going to happen next. Now, I'm quite disappointed by the ending. One, because it ended and two, because of the way it ended. I want more!
I really enjoyed this story and I couldn't put it down. I was anxious to know what was going to happen next. Now, I'm quite disappointed by the ending. One, because it ended and two, because of the way it ended. I want more!
August 6, 2020
Biggest issue is that Peyton completely sucked. Her wife was totally lovely and the problems were like 99% on her end (nevermind the fact that Peyton married a 23 year old at 33 and was shocked that her wife was less mature...).
August 14, 2018
UTTERLY REMARKABLE!!!!
I’m supposed to write more than twenty words when writing a review of a book but sadly I can’t, i can only write 8
READ IT! BUY IT AND CRY I DID !!!!!!
I’m supposed to write more than twenty words when writing a review of a book but sadly I can’t, i can only write 8
READ IT! BUY IT AND CRY I DID !!!!!!
August 28, 2018
Fabulous
It took a while to get into the book, once there I never wanted it to end. An amazing book wrote with passion and understanding.
One you shouldn’t miss
It took a while to get into the book, once there I never wanted it to end. An amazing book wrote with passion and understanding.
One you shouldn’t miss
September 2, 2018
Hawkins doesn’t disappoint in this latest work. Interesting storyline well developed characters.
June 1, 2020
I loved this story! The characters felt real and the parallel historic and current love stories complimented each other nicely. I hope there is a follow-up to this book!
Displaying 1 - 30 of 31 reviews