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320 pages, Hardcover
First published January 22, 2019
Ruby's eyes were open, but she could not see. Or rather, what she saw could not be there. A thousand glistring constellations, all on fire, swirled around her. Or they were her. Or she was they, moving in and out of the ether, hurtling towards an empyrean supernova that was somehow inside her chest. Ruby could feel herself draw a breath, but as she did, her chest was pierced with an incalescent arrow and the fever that blossomed from the wound shrouded her in the warmth of wings and she knew herself going backwards into millennia.
"You don't even know what those words mean. You don't even understand the language that you speak. I doubt you even feel the emotions behind them. You are an ape trying to make sense of the shapes and colors around you. You are clay. You are a speck."
She wanted to reach inside him and burn his own heart, so he could know. She wanted to run to him and be held. She wanted to bury her face in his shoulder, smell his sweat, feel his hands on the back of her neck and his arms against her ribs and she wanted to destroy him. She wanted to surrender to him and bruise him. To break him.The feelings of first love, and the heart-wrenching pain of losing that, along with the freedom and...complete numbness...one feels afterward. It's difficult to love with that kind of intensity again. I felt that. Although, and this may be an unpopular opinion, but I felt that Ruby and Hayden were not good for each other despite how they try to work things out. About halfway through the book the story picks up. We are seeing both sides of the problem, and the game truly begins. Learning about Ruby's tattoos and what they mean was pretty neat.