Shadow Me

Shatter Me #4.5

by Tahereh Mafi

Fan favorite character Kenji Kishimoto narrates t his gripping companion novella to Tahereh Mafi’s New York Times bestselling Shatter Me series, set during the explosive events in Restore Me!

Juliette is still reeling from Warner's betrayal, and Kenji is trying to balance his friendship with her with his responsibilities as a leader of the resistance against the Reestablishment. Things get even more interesting when an unexpected person from Omega Point’s past surfaces.

The ending of Restore Me left readers gasping, and this novella full of Kenji’s signature sass and big heart is the perfect story to tide fans over until Defy Me, the shocking fifth book in the Shatter Me series, hits shelves in April 2019.

Genres: Fantasy, Dystopia, Romance, Young Adult, Novella, Romantasy, Science Fiction

69 pages, Kindle Edition

First published March 5, 2019

About the author

Tahereh Mafi is the New York Times and USA Today bestselling author of the Shatter Me series. She was born in a small city somewhere in Connecticut and currently resides in Santa Monica, California with her husband, fellow author Ransom Riggs. She can usually be found over-caffeinated and stuck in a book. Shatter Me is her first series, with television rights optioned by ABC Signature Studios; Furthermore, her first middle grade novel, is on shelves now, and Whichwood, its darker companion, will be on shelves November 14, 2017.

Reviews

[Whitney Atkinson · Rating 5 out of 5]

Sooo I knew I loved Kenji Kishimoto..... but this book made me realize that I would rip my fucking heart out and put it on a platter for Kenji Kishimoto. I LOVED this installment!!!!

I think this book was the perfect balance of exploring Kenji's voice, getting his funny inner monologue, learning more about the world, and seeing the events of Restore Me from his eyes. I wouldn't necessarily call it a bridge book between books 4 and 5 (honestly, these chapters could have been thrown in at the end of Restore Me because I actually think they better describe the events than Warner and Juliette did), but I still had SO much fun reading it and was laughing and gasping at all the new information and world building and conversations that we didn't see in Restore Me.

I have a TON more to say about this with theories and new info reveals but it's 4:30 AM and I've been making my way through this book since midnight so my brain is just a big happy mush in my skull because I love Kenji so much and I adored this novella.

Old review
CONFIRMED KENJI POV!!!!!!!! I'm so stoked. Honestly, I wish this came sooner instead of just a month before Defy Me, but I'm not about to complain about more content. Eeeeeeeep I hope we see Warner in this and he and Kenji are stuck in a cell together and thriving and scheming to get Juliette back and skhjdflgbhfdkgdblhgdkfl IM EMO I WANT IT SO BAD

[Ali Goodwin · Rating 4 out of 5]

THIS NOVELLA IS FROM KENJI'S POV. I repeat THIS NOVELLA IS FROM KENJI'S POV.

Love Kenji with my whole heart. He might be my favorite character in the series. The novellas can be a little repetitive of the main books, but we always find out bits of new information, and getting to read events from Kenji's pov was so fun and made me fall in love with him even more.

[NickReads]

At this point we can all agree that Kenji is everyone's favorite.

[Marianna Moore · Rating 3 out of 5]

Kenji my shaylaaaaaa him and nazeera are everything g to me but his POV should have just been added into restore me I didn’t like the repetition

[Virginia Ronan ♥ Herondale ♥ · Rating 5 out of 5]

”Everyone thinks I’m not supposed to give a shit – that I shouldn’t – but I do. I always do.”

Okay, maybe I’m biased for giving this 5 stars but damn! I just loved this! *lol* It was amazing to be back into this world and even more amazing to see it through Kenji’s eyes! I always had a soft spot for him and I think he deserves way more attention than he actually gets! He’s such an awesome character, he has a great sense of humour and he’s the best friend anyone could ever wish for.
Do I have to say even more? =)

”I have friends. A makeshift family. I’m lonely but I’m not alone. My body works, my brain works, I’m alive. It’s a good life. I have to make a conscious effort to remember that. To choose to be happy every day. If I didn’t, I think my own pain would’ve killed me a long time ago.”

It was kinda tough to read about his feelings though. I mean I always suspected that there’s a lot of darkness behind his shiny smile, but to actually read about it. To find out how he truly feels inside? It broke my heart! T_T Poor Kenji! I think Warner and him might have even more in common than they think. They are both broken but they hide it in different ways. >_<

”Kishimoto, if I considered other people’s mediocre standards a sufficient metric by which to measure my own accomplishments, I’d never have amounted to anything.” He looks up, meets my eyes. “You should demand more of yourself. You’re entirely capable.”
“Are you -?” I blink, stunned. “I’m sorry, was that your idea of a compliment?”

Still, those two together were just too much fun! *lol* I loved to see their friendship bloom and to witness that Warner actually started to trust Kenji was one of the best things ever! <3 Warner’s pain however was really hard to bear! My broken boy! *sniff* I mean if even Kenji feels sorry for him this means that he’s in really bad shape right now. =((

”I don’t think you do, actually. In fact, I hope you don’t. I wouldn’t want you to know how I feel right now. I wouldn’t wish that for you.”

I can’t help but wonder if Juliette and Warner will find each other again. I hope they do because they definitely belong together and I hate to see them so alienated. It’s not good for my health to watch them fight, I swear! *lol* Also with everything I read about Kenji and Nazeera I really want them to be together as well! XD Kenji was sooo adorable when she confronted him! Haha! That boy has no idea what he’s getting himself into, but he’s definitely head over heels! ;-P

”I managed to walk, not run, back to my room, and was able to hold on to what was left of my dignity. I hope.
Then again, who the hell knows.”

JUST. A.D.O.R.A.B.L.E! *lol* It’s funny how he has such a big mouth but apparently can’t seem to be able to speak properly when she’s around! Not that Nazeera was doing a better job when she ran into him half naked in the hallway! Haha! Guess all those sexy abs must have been pretty distracting. ;-P Can’t blame her though! In my head Kenji is one hell of a sexy boy as well. XD A boy with a big heart that wants to be loved.

”Instead, I’m a big, raw, bleeding heart, and I spend my days pretending not to notice that I want more. That I need more.
Maybe it sounds weird to say, but I know I could love the shit out of someone. I feel it, in my heart. This capacity to love. To be romantic and passionate. Like it’s a superpower I have. A gift, even.
And I’ve got no one to share it with.”

Plus, I love how Kenji cares about everyone around him so deeply! Even Adam! He’s basically some sort of glue that holds them all together and this even though he obviously doesn’t even realize how important his presence is. I loved how he saw Juliette and that he felt so much compassion for Warner and Adam. <3 He has such a big heart and is there for everyone, yet it seems like all his friends are so caught up in their own drama that they don’t even realize how tired and sad he is.
And this made me so damn sad! T_T

”I give her a lot of crap for being emotional all the time, but I love how empathetic she is. I love how she feels things so deeply that sometimes even joy manages to wound her. It’s who she is. She’s all heart.”

”If I had to live with that every day, I wonder if it would make me crazy, too. Because it’s not the pain that’s unendurable. It’s the hopelessness. It’s the hopelessness that makes you reckless.”

A gentle and caring boy like Kenji deserves better than that!! And can we just mention that little detail that was dropped so deliberately in the middle of this short story: ”Winston’s been in love with Brendan for a long time, but I’m the only one who knows about it.”

LIKE OMG!!! WHAT?! O_o I never saw that one coming! *lol* How come my LGBTQ+ radar failed? Mafi must have written those hints way too subtle to notice! XD I’d be happy to see that ship sail though! Really, really happy because this would be a first for Mafi and I’d be so there for it!

As for the ending?! ADFLAÖSDFSAKDFLASDKFLASD! WHAT THE HELL WAS THIS!!???
I can’t believe Kenji’s POV gave us an entirely different outlook at the ending of “Restore Me”!!! And I don’t even know how to process this! I don’t want to know what is going to happen to Juliette because she has no idea of anything that happened after her outburst!!! ARGH!!! I’m so dying here just thinking about how much she’s going to suffer! Her and my precious baby Warner… T_T
I can’t deal with all those emotions and I’m probably going to read “Defy Me” soon! *lol*
Might as well be brave and get it over with! >_<

Wish me luck! I’m sooo going to need it!
_________________________

Either my coffee isn't working and I'm still dreaming or this is actually happening!
*rubs eyes*

A KENJI POV?!!
OMG!!!!

Give me this book!!! I've needed this in my life ever since I started to read "Shatter Me".
Tahereh you can have all my money!
I'm ready!!!! <333

P.S: How gorgeous is this cover? <3

[SK · Rating 2 out of 5]

As much as I like Kenji, I wouldn't die if I didn't read it...

[Maryam Rz. · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.25 STARS! well, that was confusing but also satisfying :)

It’s not the pain that’s unendurable. It’s the hopelessness. It’s the hopelessness that makes you reckless.

A short but gripping novella from Kenji's point of view, giving us a chance to relive the end of Restore Me.
I found the choice of Kenji as narrator to be the perfect choice—since we get to understand and see many characters better! (check Characterization for more)

Her words are a threat to their livelihood.

That aside, I'm unbelievably confused right now 😂 I just reread the ending of Restore Me, then Shadow Me, then Restore Me again—and I can't make sense of any of this!
Not only do their endings not make any sense individually, but they make even less sense together! I feel like I'm actually reading two different stories 😂
So I obviously need Defy Me and hope that we get answers??

P.S. I've also got solid theories of what went down actually; you can find them in spoiler tags in the comments. I hope—think—they're true!

I gape at him. “Are you out of your mind?”
And when he says, without a hint of irony—
“No more than usual”
—it’s crystal clear to me that this dude is not okay.


Storyline

Between all the drama of Warner and Juliette, and the suspicious children of the supreme commanders, Kenji is hurting in his own way—it just so happens that his feelings end up coming second all the damn time.

I wish, so much, all the time, that I didn’t give a shit about this sort of thing—that I could be like Warner, a frozen, unforgiving island; or even like Adam, who’s found his happiness in family, in his relationship with his brother—but I’m like neither. Instead, I’m a big, raw, bleeding heart, and I spend my days pretending not to notice that I want more. That I need more.

The last day of Restore Me was a whirlwind of madness and a cliffhanger that had us all tumbling to the depths of the abyss, and we only knew a part of what was going on!
In Shadow Me, our favourite and hilarious Kenji tells us his side of the story، and makes us question exactly what happened and who was behind it...

It doesn’t seem right that so much horrible shit should be, like, allowed to go down in such a short period of time. There should be a fail-safe in the universe somewhere, something that automatically shuts down in the event of extreme human stupidity. Maybe an emergency lever. A button, even.
This is ridiculous.

Storytelling

Tahereh Mafi has a very raw and beautiful writing style, focused on feelings. In the rest of the books, we got the emotional personality that is Juliette, and Mafi accurately narrated the story how Juliette thought and viewed everything.

But in this book we get Kenji's hilarious outlook on the world, and his unique way of seeing things.

My eyes light up. “Is that coffee?”
Winston pulls away from the door, horrified. “It’s my coffee.”
“Hand it over.”
“What? No.”
I narrow my eyes at him.
“Why can’t you get your own?” he says, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose. “This is only my second cup. You know it takes at least three before I’m even half awake.”
“Yeah, well, I have to be downstairs in five minutes or Warner’s going to murder me and I haven’t had any breakfast yet and I’m already exhausted and I really—”
“Fine.” Winston’s face darkens as he hands it over. “You monster.”

I have to say, I've always admired Mrs. Mafi's writing and how she wears the skin of her narrator, completely delving into their specific way of thinking.
And, while the Shatter Me books have never gone above 4 stars for me, her other books have all been 5 stars! I simply don't think her dramatic way of writing fits into the genre well. I'd like to see how that'll change :)


Characterization

Kenji: I don't even know what to say about this awesome guy. He's so sympathetic and understanding and I hurt for how he feels obligated to care, incapable of being cruel. His focus on the blessings in his life is so inspiring and I just want the best things for him :)

I force myself to say it, out loud. I’m grateful. I take a few moments to feel it. Recognize it. I force myself to smile, to unclench the tightness in my face that would otherwise default too easily to anger. I whisper a quick thank-you to the unknown, to the air, to the lonely ghosts eavesdropping on my private conversations with no one. I have a roof over my head and clothes on my back and food waiting for me every morning. I have friends. A makeshift family. I’m lonely but I’m not alone. My body works, my brain works, I’m alive. It’s a good life. I have to make a conscious effort to remember that. To choose to be happy every day. If I didn’t, I think my own pain would’ve killed me a long time ago.
I’m grateful.

Juliette: it's amazing to see and scrutinise her from somebody else's point of view (and, no, Warner doesn't count—he's in love with her). Kenji says it best and I can't help but agree with him:

I give her a lot of crap for being emotional all the time, but I love how empathetic she is. I love how she feels things so deeply that sometimes even joy manages to wound her. It’s who she is. She’s all heart.

Warner: it's interesting to see Warner from Kenji's eyes! Also, it's good that we have our charismatic boy back—I'd been starting to think he was slipping away to become a little pathetic. I was wrong; and I've never been happier to be wrong :)

Shit. This kid is breaking my heart.

Adam: we don't get any Adam in this, to be honest, but what I appreciate is how Mafi makes us understand him by showing us what Kenji sees in him. I think these paragraphs are very important for readers who hate him to read:

Adam hasn’t changed a bit. Still moody. No sense of humor. Generally irritated.

He comes off as an angry, explosive guy—and sometimes he really is an asshole—but it must be hard to watch your kid brother live all alone on a compound for tortured, abandoned children. It slowly kills your soul to watch a ten-year-old kid sob and scream in the middle of the night because his nightmares keep getting worse, and no matter what you do, you can’t seem to make it better.

I’m not sure Adam will ever recover from the blows he’s been dealt. It’s obvious he has PTSD. I don’t think he even sleeps anymore. I think he’s slowly losing his mind.

Nazeera: an awe-inspiring character. Yes, maybe that woman is just perfect. Her everything amazes and bewilders me—she's perfection incarnate 😍 (and I'm NOT fangirling here 😂)

“For me, it’s a symbol of resistance.”

I mean ... Just ... Wow ... There's no one I ship more with Kenji! He's one of my favourite characters and deserves to be loved by a resilient strong woman like Nazeera.


Relationships

Friendships and partners have been the focus of the series from page on (other than characters) and once again I fell in love with how beautifully Tahereh Mafi writes them 😍
Kenji's brewing love, and also his friendship with Juliette are such golden points! Not to forget how completely I SHIP WARNER AND KENJI #SorryNotSorry 😜


Companions

Book playlist:
• “Gasoline” by Halsey (for all the scenes other than the ones noted below ⤵)
• “Salem’s Secret” by Peter Gundry [Instrumental] (for the ending chapters)
• “Darkness Keeps Chasing Me” by Grace VanderWaal (for scenes with Nazeera)

[♥ℂĦℝΪՖƬΪℕÅ · Rating 5 out of 5]

5 HINDING IN PLAIN SIGHT. ★'s

“I’m a big, raw, bleeding heart, and I spend my days pretending not to notice that I want more. That I need more.”

My Kenji & Nazeera❤


This was me like a 100% when finding out there was gonna be a Kenji novella!!


I love Kenji! I love Kenji! I love Kenji! I love Kenji!

Kenji being a fan favorite is a bit of an understatement in my opinion! Kenji is the rock of the Shatter Me series. He's the best friend/lover everyone should want and also inspire to be. He's true to his word, loyal, brutally honest, and his sense of humor is fantastic. Kenji just has the most amazing personality. I don't know how anyone in their right mind could ever not LOVE him! His character is everything, one of my absolute favorite characters of all-time. Kenji deserves all the happiness and love in the world! I love that we got an inside look at the development of his relationship with Nazeera. I really enjoyed her character in Restore Me and this just solidified it even more. Kenji was hilarious as usual and the scenes between him and Warner was just the cherry on top. Every scene that involves those two together is always golden. And the ones with Juliette and Kenji always warms my heart.

I was beyond excited to have Kinji's POV, it's been a long time coming. I’m normally not the biggest fan of novellas, they are never quite long enough to satisfy me but Shadow Me was wonderful. This was a perfect look inside the thoughts of Kenji (everyone's favorite) and seeing the events of Restore Me unfold through his eyes. This novella just about killed me. My gosh, it was heartbreaking at times that I actually shed a few tears. It gave me a rollercoaster of emotions. Overall, this was really a great read. Though I will admit I was hoping for more back story on his life. But still, I wasn't disappointed. Mafi is an amazing writer and an absolute genius. I truly hope we get more of Kenji's POV in Defy Me.

THAT ENDING THOUGH, OMG I NEED Defy Me LIKE RIGHT FREAKING NOW!!!!

*Btw, This cover is sooo gorgeous, love the colors!! They are always perfect to me.*

Here are a couple quotes I really like:

“Maybe it sounds weird to say, but I know I could love the shit out of someone. I feel it, in my heart. This capacity to love. To be romantic and passionate. Like it’s a superpower I have. A gift, even.
And I’ve got no one to share it with.”

“I’m lonely but I’m not alone. My body works, my brain works, I’m alive. It’s a good life. I have to make a conscious effort to remember that. To choose to be happy every day. If I didn’t, I think my own pain would’ve killed me a long time ago.”

[èvieane · Rating 3 out of 5]

ㅤㅤ “I’m lonely but I’m not alone. My body works, my brain works, I’m alive. It’s a good life. I have to make a conscious effort to remember that.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤ━ 3.5 - 3.7 ☆ ━
ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ⊱ ── might contain spoilers ──⊰

ㅤㅤI believe this is my second favourite novella in this series (just after Warner's, or perhaps just next to it), as well as one of the greatest books in the series. I believe this is just what the series needed, or perhaps it is just what I needed; perhaps I simply needed a break from Juliette and her endless terrible judgements, ludicrous ignorance, and utterly worthless stubbornness. As a result, you can imagine how happy I was to finally have the opportunity to observe things from a fresh perspective.

ㅤㅤKenji is an amazing character and I will literally die on this hill. I am actually so thankful we got to see a bit behind his constant happy and playful façade because i goddamn knew very well this was all just a façade. My heart hurt a little when I heard him express frustration and maybe even a slight disappointment that no one asks him how he is feeling when he constantly looks after and helps everyone around him. I was so sure this might be one of his inner frustrations because, damn I WAS FRUSTRATED FOR HIM UP UNTIL NOW. And it is indeed slightly sad to see that he still plays the fully altruistic and selfless person, despite having his own hardships to deal with just like everyone else. I think he just became my favourite character from this series, right next to Mr. I-Might-Lowkey-Be-A-Psycho-But-You'd-Let-Yourself-Tortured-By-Me-Anyday Warner.

ㅤㅤ♥ And speaking of Warner, I really don't care what anyone says, but these two together? Warner and Kenji? They had more chemistry in their slightly "toxic" yet fully wholesome bromance than Juliette has ever managed to have with Warner since book 1. I pray to all the gods and deities above to allow me to have more of their interactions and friendship in the future, because this is what I want to see. 😩 ♥

ㅤㅤI do think that this novella was so short, that I literally found myself wanting more of it. Despite not bringing any new information in terms of action, since it was focused on the events from the ending of 'Restore me' , it did feel refreshing to see another point of view on these events and I honestly enjoyed it greatly.




ㅤㅤ─────────── 　༻✧༺　───────────

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ.˚౿ Pre-reading ࿐ ࿔*:･

ㅤㅤLet's go my favourite babyboy ever! 🙌🏻 I trust this man so hoping for the best with this one.

[Ri ♡ · Rating 4 out of 5]

4 stars

“It’s not the pain that’s unendurable. It’s the hopelessness. It’s the hopelessness that makes you reckless.”

I was so desperately waiting for Kenji’s POV. I always want to know more about him, and still, it will never be enough for me. I loved reading his inner monologues about how he is always grateful for everything and everyone in his life, but he has also been through a hell of a lot of shit, and he needs someone in his life too. Someone with whom he can share his vulnerability, his worst thoughts, and his fears. I know he has Juliette, but he knows that he deserves someone else too—someone with whom he can share his love and everything. And I can’t wait for him and Nazeera to be together because I know they will be so good together; they understand each other so well.

Some parts literally broke my heart—when he said that he’s not alone, he’s just lonely. He makes everyone laugh, helps them forget their problems, but he ignores his own happiness. I would do anything for this man. ANYTHING. He deserves the whole world and every happiness it has to offer. I really want him to have his own happy ending.

“She gets me. I give her a lot of crap for being emotional all the time, but I love how empathetic she is. I love how she feels things so deeply that sometimes even joy manages to wound her. It’s who she is. She’s all heart.”

Can we also talk about this explosive sexual tension between Nazeera and Kenji? I mean, Kenji is so whipped over her, and his intimate thoughts were just—damn, I didn’t know he would be this hot! I want them to be together so badly!!

“I’m so happy for my friends. I love them, even when they piss me off. I care about them. I want their joy. But it still hurts a little when it feels like, everywhere I look everyone seems to have someone.
Everyone but me.
It’s crazy how much I wish I didn’t care. I wish, so much, all the time, that I didn’t give a shit about this sort of thing”

This book covers some events from Restore Me, but I feel like the ending was described so much better in this one from Kenji’s POV than from Warner and Juliette’s. So far, this series is so freaking amazing, and I can’t wait to unravel more of mystery and suspense.

[Laura (Hiatus) · Rating 2 out of 5]

“It’s not the pain that’s unendurable. It’s the hopelessness. It’s the hopelessness that makes you reckless.”

I honestly love Kenji but I did not think that we needed this!! I would have preferred his own pov in the previous book rather a novella as it would have made thinks more enjoyable but lets see how it goes from here.

-->2.54

“I'm lonely but I'm not alone.”

[brooke (hiatus) · Rating 3 out of 5]

just want to protect kenji at all costs, my best boy <33
THE ENDING?? KENJI GET BEHIND ME RN

[belle♡ · Rating 5 out of 5]

Favourite book so far simply bc it’s in Kenji’s pov.💘💘💘

[✨Julie✨ · Rating 2 out of 5]

✩ 2 stars ✩

What to Expect:
➼ Novella
➼ Kenji’s POV

Turns out I like Kenji better from someone else’s perspective. 🙃 Did all of that happen in the last book? His description of the events felt much more clear which I think is a disservice to the majority of readers who will only read the full novels. The timeline of this book overlaps with book 4 completely and ends at the same point. It was mainly repetitive but I felt more informed after reading it than I did at the end of Restore Me. All of these novella should just be integrated into the books.

✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼

Pre-read: Alright, let’s hear from Kenji. 🤍

[Jessi ❤️ H. Vojsk [if villain, why hot?] · Rating 4 out of 5]

I whisper a quick thank you to the unknown, to the air, to the lonely ghosts eavesdropping on my private conversations with no one.
I have a roof over my head and clothes on my back and food waiting for me every morning.
I have friends.
A makeshift family.
I’m lonely, but I’m not alone.
My body works, my brain works, I’m alive.
It’s a good life.
I have to make a conscious effort to remember that.
To choose to be happy every day.
If I didn’t, I think my own pain would’ve killed me a long time ago.

Guys, I remember why I love Kenji so much.
He's the most perfect best friend and human being anyone can imagine.


What I really liked about this book, is, that it's not completely useless.
It brings the story forward, at least a little bit.

CAN'T WAIT FOR BOOK 5!

____________________________________________________



I’M SO EXCITED! 🎉🤪

[skylar ₊˚⊹♡ [less active] · Rating 5 out of 5]

⋆𐙚₊ 𝟓 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐬 ˚⊹🧡

“i’m lonely but i’m not alone. my body works, my brain works, i’m alive. it’s a good life. i have to make a conscious effort to remember that. to choose to be happy every day. if i didn’t, i think my own pain would’ve killed me a long time ago.”

KENJI!!! omg omg omg. i love him sm. and this novella was so refreshing to read after finishing the series!! i couldn’t read this before cause of hold problems (IT SAID 18 WEEKS BEFORE LIKE BSFR) so i had to go back now! but it just reminds me of how good the books before were!!!

౨ৎ kenji. i love being inside of his head because we see struggles that he rarely shows with anyone else. he kinda talks to juliette about it but that never really showed his feelings great so i’m loving this!! even the kenji chapters in later books don’t show nearly enough so i love that he has his own novellas. ALSOOO he’s absolutely down bad for nazeera it’s so cute 🤭 like it’s genuinely so obvious and he’s so awkward with her! but their dynamic is really cute. i’m so sad we didn’t get much more of them later but wtv.

౨ৎ other. RESTORE ME FLASHBACKS (affectionate) 💗💗💗 i love aaron and kenji’s relationship in this!!! i refuse to believe they went from this to whatever was going on in imagine me. him giving kenji relationship advice and kenji seeing that he actually has emotions was just. yes. 🙂‍↕️ juliette was also lowkey being weird now seeing this all in kenji’s pov but wtv!!

⤿ bottom line is kenji stans let’s stand together 🙂‍↕️🙏

ᝰ.ᐟ series 🎶
𐙚 shatter me (1) - 2.75 ★
𐙚 destroy me (1.5) - 3 ★
𐙚 unravel me (2) - 3 ★
𐙚 fracture me (2.5) - 2.5 ★
𐙚 ignite me (3) - 5 ★
𐙚 restore me (4) - 5 ★
𐙚 defy me (5) - 5 ★
𐙚 reveal me (5.5) - 4 ★
𐙚 imagine me (6) - 2 ★
𐙚 believe me (6.5) - 4 ★

[Maditales · Rating 5 out of 5]

Reread:

After reading believe me I had the urge to reread the novels from kenji’s pov and ugh they were just as perfect as I remember.

[Isa Cantos (Crónicas de una Merodeadora) · Rating 5 out of 5]

"Maybe it sounds weird to say, but I know I could love the shit out of someone. I feel it, in my heart. This capacity to love. To be romantic and passionate. Like it’s a superpower I have. A gift, even".

¿Qué puede ser más perfecto que una novella narrada por Kenji? Shadow Me es una novella puente que conecta los últimos capítulos de Restore Me y el inicio del que será el quinto libro de la saga, Defy Me. No, no es un spin-off y creo que es absolutamente necesario leerlo antes de leer Defy Me.

En esta novella nos metemos por completo en la cabeza de Kenji y vemos que, por dentro, lucha con muchísimas cosas que no deja salir al exterior. La soledad, el tener que sonreír siempre aunque esté mal, el ser un pilar para sus amigos sin que nadie nunca le pregunte a él cómo está, el ver que todos están encontrando alguna pizca de felicidad y él sigue solo, los nuevos sentimientos locos y desenfrenados que están apareciendo por Nazeera... Todo está allí y es tremendamente intenso. Me dolió muchísimo leer cómo se siente realmente Kenji, pobrecillo mío.

Pero bueno, además de todo el drama de Kenji estando coladísimo por Nazeera y todos los ridículos que hace frente a ella, en Shadow Me también vemos un detrás de escenas a lo destrozados que están Juliette y Warner después de su gran pelea por las revelaciones que surgieron sobre la hermana perdida y torturada de Juliette. Y, si se me partía el corazón leyendo a Kenji y sus problemas, pues se me partía el doble al verlo pensar que era terrible que dos personas que claramente estaban hechas la una para la otra estuvieran discutiendo y alejándose.

¡Y el final! ¡EL FINAL! Joder, el final es la razón por la que digo que es absolutamente necesario leer esta novella. ¡Cambia todo! ¡TODOOOO!

[Alana · Rating 3 out of 5]

*starts to hyperventilate*

IT’S KENJI’S POV & I’M ALREADY TRASH 😭

[Hamad · Rating 3 out of 5]

This review and other non-spoilery reviews can be found @The Book Prescription

“I’m lonely but I’m not alone. My body works, my brain works, I’m alive. It’s a good life. I have to make a conscious effort to remember that. To choose to be happy every day. If I didn’t, I think my own pain would’ve killed me a long time ago.”

🌟 This did not add up much to the story but I think it was a tiny bit better than Restore me, It could have substituted it!

🌟 This is Kenji’s first Novella and I thought it takes place before Restore me while in fact it takes place during the same time but from Kenji’s POV. I found it easy to read and it was short so it was not hard to go through it.

🌟 This is a short review because there is not much to say, I think the author is trying to please her fans which is not the best choice. I am being nice and giving it 3 stars but it was kind of MEH. I hope Defy Me can salvage what remains of this story!!

[Norma (reading slump, life slump) · Rating 4 out of 5]

↝ 4 ☆

: ̗̀➛"𝑰𝒕'𝒔 𝒏𝒐𝒕 𝒑𝒂𝒊𝒏 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕'𝒔 𝒖𝒏𝒃𝒆𝒂𝒓𝒂𝒃𝒍𝒆. 𝑰𝒕'𝒔 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒉𝒐𝒑𝒆𝒍𝒆𝒔𝒔𝒏𝒆𝒔𝒔. 𝑰𝒕'𝒔 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒉𝒐𝒑𝒆𝒍𝒆𝒔𝒔𝒏𝒆𝒔𝒔 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒎𝒂𝒌𝒆𝒔 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒓𝒆𝒄𝒌𝒍𝒆𝒔𝒔."

Kenji is the MMC of this series and no one can tell me otherwise. His love interest is Warner with Juliette as the best friend and Nazeera as the new girl making him doubt his relationship with Warner.

: ̗̀➛ "𝑰'𝒎 𝒂 𝒃𝒊𝒈, 𝒓𝒂𝒘, 𝒃𝒍𝒆𝒆𝒅𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒉𝒆𝒂𝒓𝒕, 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝑰 𝒔𝒑𝒆𝒏𝒅 𝒎𝒚 𝒅𝒂𝒚𝒔 𝒑𝒓𝒆𝒕𝒆𝒏𝒅𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒏𝒐𝒕 𝒕𝒐 𝒏𝒐𝒕𝒊𝒄𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝑰 𝒘𝒂𝒏𝒕 𝒎𝒐𝒓𝒆. 𝑰 𝒏𝒆𝒆𝒅 𝒎𝒐𝒓𝒆."

Kenji is that character everybody needs because without him this whole series would be a hot mess. He's the bridge to support, the shoulder to cry on, the comedian in the room who puts everyone's nerves at ease for a moment to forget about life's horrid problems peeking through. In turn, when all the characters aren't looking, I related to his longing to be with someone, to feel an intense love romantically, to be seen as more than a joker but a soul who connects, emotionally, and effortlessly to those around him, reminding himself to be grateful. I couldn't help but grin through the banter between him and Warner as I saw a great bromance budding (Who sees Kenji in a way a lot of the characters don't) and route for him and Nazeera. Bro deserves everything.
.࿔*_________ ׂׂૢ་༘࿐_________ ׂׂૢ་༘࿐_________ ׂׂૢ་༘࿐

: ̗̀➛ Quotes:

~ "To choose to be happy every day. If I didn't, I think my own pain would've killed me a long time ago.

~ "I don't think you do, actually. In fact, I hope you don't. I wouldn't want you to know how I feel right now. I wouldn't wish that for you."

~ "But it still hurts a little when it feels like, everywhere I look, everyone seems to have someone. Everyone but me."

~ "I've become a magnet for pain. Other people's pain. My own pain."

~ "I think I might be in love with you."

~"This," he says. Finally looks at me. "This situation." I want. "It's my fault," he says, passing dramatically, "for thinking I could depend on you."

~ "Wait a second." I frown. "Did you just give me dating advice?" Warner tilts his head. A flicker of a smile again. "I'm merely returning a favour."

~ "You're looking at me like you're drunk."
"I'm not drunk"
.࿔*_________ ׂׂૢ་༘࿐_________ ׂׂૢ་༘࿐_________ ׂׂૢ་༘࿐

*ੈ 𝒫𝓇𝑒-𝓇𝑒𝓋𝒾𝑒𝓌

: ̗̀➛ Kenji Kishimoto is the mmc that he thinks he is.

[m. · Rating 5 out of 5]

Listen I love Aaron, but Kenji is THE MAN

[Sabrina · Rating 4 out of 5]

I love Kenji. He’s personality is just fantastic.
And this feel more as if I was reading the end of Restore Me again with a different point of view. One that gave me much more information about what happened. Can’t wait for Defy Me and see where this story is going.

——

The first chapter of this saved me and killed me at the same time.
Bromance that I know is going to rise.
And pain, that I know will be there.

————

KENJI, MY LOVE, COME TO MAMA

[Keya · Rating 2 out of 5]

When authors have too much time on hand so they just write a completely unnecessary novella 🙂🙂 As much as I love Kenji, this was a no for me. It was just a repetition of everything in Restore Me, but from Kenji's Pov. Like why?

But I'll admit, seeing Kenji in love might be my most fav thing in the world 🤭

***

I'm not reading novellas of this series but this is from Kenji's perspective, so I'll make an exception 😌

[paige (ptsungirl) · Rating 2 out of 5]

"I'm lonely but I'm not alone."

[jazmin ౨ৎ · Rating 5 out of 5]

⊹ ࣪ ˖⌇𝐬𝐡𝐚𝐝𝐨𝐰 𝐦𝐞
╰⪼〝𝘚𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘩𝘰𝘸, 𝘐'𝘷𝘦 𝘣𝘦𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘦 𝘢 𝘮𝘢𝘨𝘯𝘦𝘵 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘱𝘢𝘪𝘯. 𝘖𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘱𝘦𝘰𝘱𝘭𝘦'𝘴 𝘱𝘢𝘪𝘯. 𝘔𝘺 𝘰𝘸𝘯 𝘱𝘢𝘪𝘯.〞

𑣲 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘳𝘵𝘦𝘥: august 10th, 2026 ⌝
⌞ 𝘧𝘪𝘯𝘪𝘴𝘩𝘦𝘥: august 12th, 2026 .ᐟ.ᐟ

──── .✦
⋆ 𝒐𝒏𝒆 𝒑𝒐𝒗 (𝒇𝒊𝒓𝒔𝒕 𝒑𝒆𝒓𝒔𝒐𝒏)
⋆ 𝒔𝒑𝒊𝒄𝒆: none, however some of kenji's thoughts about nazeera are NOT ya 😭
⋆ 𝒄𝒐𝒏𝒕𝒆𝒏𝒕 𝒘𝒂𝒓𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒔: cursing, violence, weapons, blood, injuries, war, death, murder, i might've missed a couple of things, as i forgot to write these as i came across them !!
──── .✦



‎ . ݁⋆ ꫂ᭪⌇𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐞𝐰
╰⪼ 𝘳𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨: 𝟒.𝟓/𝟓 ✰

ANOTHER CLIFFHANGER?? ur fucking joking. i need defy me like rnnn i'm actually so confused rn help 😭

also winston and brendan ?? was not expecting that but i am SO here for it 🥹


minor(?) spoilers below



.☘︎ ݁˖ ⌇𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬

⊱ 𝐤𝐞𝐧𝐣𝐢 𝐤𝐢𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐦𝐨𝐭𝐨
╰⪼ 〝𝘔𝘢𝘺𝘣𝘦 𝘪𝘵 𝘴𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘥𝘴 𝘸𝘦𝘪𝘳𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘴𝘢𝘺, 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘐 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸 𝘐 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘩𝘪𝘵 𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘰𝘯𝘦. 𝘐 𝘧𝘦𝘦𝘭 𝘪𝘵, 𝘪𝘯 𝘮𝘺 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘵. 𝘛𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘤𝘢𝘱𝘢𝘤𝘪𝘵𝘺 𝘵𝘰 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦. 𝘛𝘰 𝘣𝘦 𝘳𝘰𝘮𝘢𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘤 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘱𝘢𝘴𝘴𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘢𝘵𝘦. 𝘓𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘪𝘵'𝘴 𝘢 𝘴𝘶𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘱𝘰𝘸𝘦𝘳 𝘐 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦. 𝘈 𝘨𝘪𝘧𝘵, 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘯. 𝘈𝘯𝘥 𝘐'𝘷𝘦 𝘨𝘰𝘵 𝘯𝘰 𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘴𝘩𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘪𝘵 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩.〞

thought it was impossible for me to love kenji even more, but here we are !!

obviously i kinda knew that there was a lot more to him than his joking (? idk how to explain it) personality but wow, even just reading it i really felt for him and i don't think ill ever be able to look at him the same way after this

also, i absolutely love warner and kenji's friendship, if you would've told me they become friends when i was reading shatter me, i would've been in disbelief 😭 they've both come so far

AND, omg kenji and nazeera 🥹🥹 love them so much as well, and kenji finallllyyyy found out she can go invisible too !!! idk why but the fact that they both have the power to do that just itches my brain right (that sounds weird as hell but still), sososo excited to hopefully see more of them !!



𓂃⋆.˚ 𝐦𝐲 𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬 𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐞𝐰𝐬 .ᐟ

➺ shatter me (𝟒✰)
➺ destroy me (𝟒.𝟐𝟓✰)
➺ unravel me (𝟓✰)
➺ fracture me (𝟐.𝟕𝟓✰)
➺ ignite me (𝟒.𝟓✰)
➺ restore me (𝟒.𝟕𝟓✰)
➺ shadow me (𝟒.𝟓✰)



➵ . ݁⋆ ꒰ ✉︎ ꒱ ‎. ݁⋆
𝐩𝐫𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝:
⋆ 𝘱𝘳𝘦𝘥𝘪𝘤𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯: 𝟒/𝟓 ✰

ᯓ i'm gonna be so honest, alllll i want to do right now is read defy me because i'm actually itching to read it after that cliffhanger (AND I DON'T EVEN HAVE IT YET ☹️☹️), but I NEEEED to read the novellas, especially since they're in kenji's pov 😭😭



ﾒ૦ﾒ૦

[Ninoska Goris · Rating 5 out of 5]

English - Español

Kenji Kishimoto is my favorite character, after Warner of course.

“Maybe it sounds weird to say, but I know I could love the shit out of someone. I feel it, in my heart. This capacity to love. To be romantic and passionate. Like it’s a superpower I have. A gift, even. And I’ve got no one to share it with.”

In this novel from Kenji's point of view is that you learn that not everything is what it seems. That because he is always joking doesn’t mean that Kenji is a carefree person. On the contrary, he feels responsible for being the pillar of his friends, never failing, always smiling and creating a good environment for others. He carries a heavy burden on his shoulders, plus the burden of being the best friend and the first hand of the Supreme Commander, aka Juliette.

“I’m a big, raw, bleeding heart, and I spend my days pretending not to notice that I want more. That I need more.”

We see first-hand how difficult the separation between Juliette and Warner is from the revelations of Juliette's lost sister. And also how Kenji and Nazeera relate, which I need more of, please.

“I’m lonely but I’m not alone. My body works, my brain works, I’m alive. It’s a good life. I have to make a conscious effort to remember that. To choose to be happy every day. If I didn’t, I think my own pain would’ve killed me a long time ago.”

But the most important thing is that this novella is absolutely necessary to read it before the Fifth Book of the series, because the end changes everything.

---

Kenji Kishimoto es mi personaje favorito, después de Warner por supuesto.

En esta novela desde el punto de vista de Kenji es que te enteras que no todo es lo que parece. Que porque ande siempre bromeando no significa que Kenji es una persona despreocupada. Todo lo contrario, el se siente responsable de ser el pilar de sus amigos, de nunca desfallecer, de siempre sonreir y crear un buen ambiente para los demás. Lleva una fuerte carga sobre sus hombros, mas la carga que significa ser el mejor amigo y la primera mano de la Comandante Suprema, aka Juliette.

Vemos de primera mano lo difícil que están llevando la separación Juliette y Warner por las revelaciones de la hermana perdida de Juliette. Y también como se relacionan Kenji y Nazeera, de lo cual necesito mas, por favor.

Pero lo mas importante es que esta novela es absolutamente necesario leerla antes que el Quinto libro de la serie, porque el final lo cambia todo.

[Noura Khalid (theperksofbeingnoura) · Rating 4 out of 5]

WHAT EVEN WAS THAT?!

[a foray in fantasy · Rating 4 out of 5]

Kenjiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

I just love him. He’s so awkward with Nazeera it’s cute.

[moniqueॱ◌̥*⃝̣ ⋆ · Rating 5 out of 5]

5/5⭐️

I love Kenji with my entire being.
Finally seeing his POV again makes me so freaking happy. He’s just such an amazing character and I can’t get enough of him tbh.