Aching Joy: Following God through the Land of Unanswered Prayer

by Jason Hague

When his oldest son was diagnosed with severe autism, pastor Jason Hague found himself trapped, stuck between perpetual sadness and a lower, safer kind of hope. This is the common struggle for those of us walking through the Land of Unanswered Prayer. Life doesn’t look the way we expected, so we seek to protect ourselves from further disappointment.But God has a third path for us, beyond sadness or the way of aching joy. Christ himself is with us here, beckoning us toward the treasures hidden in the darkness.Aching Joy is an honest psalm of hope for those walking between pain and the aching of a broken world and the beauty of a loving God. In this place, rather than trying to dodge the pain, we choose to feel it all—and to see where Jesus is in the midst of struggle. And because we make that choice, we feel all the good that comes with it, too.This is Jason’s story. This is your story. Come, find your joy within the aching.

Genres: Christian, Autistic Spectrum Disorder, Christian Non Fiction, Parenting, Nonfiction, Faith

220 pages, Kindle Edition

Published October 2, 2018

About the author

Jason Hague lives in Junction City, Oregon, where he serves as the associate pastor for Christ’s Center Church, and the chief storyteller for his wife and five children. He writes and speaks regularly on the intersection of faith, fatherhood, and autism, and he chronicles his own journey using prose, poetry, and video at JasonHague.com. His first book, Aching Joy: Following God through the Land of Unanswered Prayer, is published through NavPress.

Reviews

[Sheila Gunderson · Rating 5 out of 5]

Vulnerable, raw, and real. By sharing his own story, the author so eloquently gives words to my own experiences, heart aches and emotions. I felt grace and permission to face into the pain and fully grieve hard situations in my life, while at the same time being encouraged to seek out community, embrace the joy, recognize and celebrate the good things the Lord brings my way. The hardships do not negate the blessings God brings. It’s hard for us to live in that tension. Hoping for deliverance while simultaneously praying for endurance. Jason’s journey depicts a beautiful dance of being fully honest with God about the pain and disappointment, while fully celebrating the good and holding onto hope. So many great take aways that I am still chewing on! Would highly recommend it for anyone going through trials and hardships.

[Maddie Mann · Rating 5 out of 5]

Listened to this one on my walks and thoroughly enjoyed!! I feel so much gratitude that this author was so vulnerable to put these thoughts into words, and help me realize that through Christ, there is joy amidst the sorrow (although it doesn’t necessarily negate the sorrow)! Feeling very encouraged to practice prayers of endurance in the hard times!

[Jessica Cogar · Rating 5 out of 5]

As a parent of a boy with autism, I’ve sought after a book like Aching Joy. It was relatable, challenging, and infused with hope. Jason Hague invites you to sojourn with him through the grief and uncertainty of an autism diagnosis, and to advance beyond it in a resolved acceptance and deeper faith in God. He offers biblical insight that speaks truth and encouragement to anyone in the midst of hard circumstances. There are many parents out there raising a voice in the special needs community. It’s so refreshing to hear from one speaking redemptive hope over autism. No other book I’ve read on the subject has impacted me like this one.

[Kayla Higginbotham · Rating 5 out of 5]

Just unintentionally read this book in an entire day if that’s any indication of what I thought of it.

[Jodi Blackmon · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is not, as I first believed, a book to be easily devoured in one sitting (though one can and will most certainly be inclined to.) Rather, it is the sort of book that you take a teensy bite of, one chapter, sometimes just one page, at a time and then chew on, really experience, before you swallow it down and let it do its work on your heart. This is the kind of book that hurts you in the deep places, makes you weep soft tears, causes you to do your ugliest ugly cry and then compels you to hug someone tightly, for the sheer grace of it all.

While the author’s personal story itself revolves a lot around autism, the central theme of this book is not about autism. This is a book about grief and hope and how to juggle the two in a way that is honest, yet God-honoring. It is, as the title says, a book about “following God through the land of unanswered prayer.” It truly is about “Aching Joy.”

Whether it’s death, divorce, disease, joblessness…Whatever your source of grief or spiritual ache, whatever trials or burdens may be in your path, Hague has managed to cover how to handle it with God in focus and hope intact. This book will touch you deeply.

[Jessica Patay · Rating 5 out of 5]

Special-Needs Fathers do not often express themselves so transparently and openly as Jason Hague dares to. And because he shares his difficult journey as a Special-Needs Father, to a son with autism, we are all the better for it. His storytelling captivates you, and his wisdom both stimulates you and relieves you. As a father, husband, and pastor, he comes to terms with his crisis of faith and does not hold back his questions and emotions. No matter what your belief system is, pain is inevitable to all. Yet, how we respond to that pain with both “aching” and “joy,” as Jason implores us to engage both emotions and actions, is critical.

This book, (not many written by the perspective of a father), gives fellow Special-Needs Parents validation, hope, freedom, and tools for living with chronic hardship. Even if the readers are not parents to a child with any disability or diagnosis, they will still have helpful take-aways, as hardship is universal. As a Special-Needs Mother, I highly recommend this book.

[Karlin McGarvey · Rating 5 out of 5]

Slowly but surely made my way through this book! It was a sweet and honest journey of a father and his autistic son. I loved seeing the progression of his raw feelings and emotions towards his life situations. There is so much to know and learn regarding autism, but this father reminded me that the most important thing is to view each person with autism as someone who bears the image of Christ! Definitely a necessary reminder as a future slp xoxo! With any missed expectation in our lives, this author has shown that following Jesus is worth it. Not because he will take away all of our suffering, but because he will walk through it with us and ultimately redeem it whether here or in heaven!

[Jaydin Chase · Rating 5 out of 5]

listened to this one as an audiobook and genuinely loved every second!!! the author was vulnerable in explaining his failings, doubts, and wrestles with unanswered prayers - particularly pertaining to his son’s autism diagnosis. i appreciated how his explanations of the in betweens of sorrow and joy were biblically sound and written in a relatable way. i’m sure my nerdie SLP brain is playing some part in my high review, but i truly can’t recommend this book enough.

[Chrissy GUNNING · Rating 5 out of 5]

As a mom to a 14 year old on the Autism spectrum, it was such an encouragement .
Knowing that you are not alone in the struggles as a special needs parent.
I appreciated Jason's openness on this journey and being willing to share how he felt at certain points..
But also reminding us that God is there thru it all. And that grieving is a natural thing in this process.

[Mary · Rating 4 out of 5]

4-5 stars. I can’t decide yet. But this is a beautifully poetic look at a father’s vulnerable heart, poured out in a mix of joy and anguish—aching joy, as he calls it. I felt the rawness of his fears, disappointments, joys, and hopes as he shared his journey to know his autistic son, Jack.
He also eloquently voices how those of us with heart-wrenching unfulfilled longings and seemingly unanswered prayers can rejoice and have hope in a Father who loves us.

[Liz Gouger · Rating 4 out of 5]

A refreshing book on suffering from the perspective of someone who continues to suffer and has found hope and joy after years of wrestling with God. Expected more practical application but his story he shares is so encouraging and deeply convicting of the ways this world has broken my view of hope.

[Jessica Thompson · Rating 5 out of 5]

Because friends had raved about this book, I was excited to read it knowing nothing about the actual storyline.

Little did I know, the author wrote about his journey of raising a son with severe autism. As a Speech Language Pathologist, I loved having a new glimpse into the mind of a parent exposing the day in and day out struggle of raising a child with autism. His stories resonated with me and reminded me of several of my students. In my opinion, this is a must read for individuals who work with students with special needs in any way. It is eye opening perspective and allows one to empathize on a deeper level with what parents are dealing with and processing at different points along the way.

But also, the way Jason Hague articulates his journey through the “land of unanswered prayers” was beautiful, raw, and completely relatable. For anyone who has struggled or is struggling with not finding the answers you want when you want them on any level, this book is for you. Although his journey and land may be starkly different to yours, the truths he discovered and shared can be applied to any circumstances. I found myself in tears of sadness but also of joy at different points throughout the book. I was feeling what he was feeling, not only in his story but also relating it to my own. I empathized with him, and I felt like he articulated the journey and the struggles in ways I’d never heard before that penetrated so deep within me. The tension between the aching and the joy is a real thing. Jason Hague does an incredible job of portraying that.

[Jessie · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really like this book. He touches on a LOT of beautiful truths about walking through grief and unanswered prayer as a child of God. I only gave it 4 stars because it was too difficult emotionally to read all at once, and I have already somewhat forgotten the beginning, so I’ll definitely be reading again at some point.
Also, I know he had to end the book somehow, but it seemed a bit too clean/resolved the way he ended it. I know he continues to walk in the land of unanswered prayer with his son, but his clean ending left me feeling a bit…unconvinced? bitter? confused? Anyway, it will be interesting to see how I feel the next time I read it.

[April · Rating 5 out of 5]

THE BEST BOOK I HAVE EVER READ 😭😭😭

[Melanie Beadles · Rating 5 out of 5]

Rarely do I finish a book in 2 days...

This book has officially made it to my "you have to read this" list that I will forever tell others about. It met me in the perfect time and lifted up my heart with its honesty. Jason Hague isn't afraid to look human and broken -- his honesty is refreshing and his writing boarders on poetic. This book isn't just for the people who feel jaded about unanswered prayers-- it is for everyone.

I will admit- he comes off like a true "I went to seminary and I'm gonna show that" type of guy (honestly reminds me of my dad a lot), but I actually appreciated his depth of knowledge of Biblical stories and he always keeps it relevant (he's not just showing off).

I loved how this book is simply his story-- it reads like a memoir, but it doubles as a christian guide through painful realities. He stares at pain, acknowledges it for what it is, cries a lot, lives in depression, and presses into the truth of sowing into hope. I teared up multiple times (I guess that's not hard to get me to do) and felt really, deeply challenged by his statements. . . Some of the lines still have me wrestling, but that's the best part of reading. If you get this book, get out a pen and get ready to underline.

[Cassie Kelley · Rating 5 out of 5]

Many people say that prayer is the answer to everything, but what if your prayers go unanswered? Some would say you don’t have enough faith, but why say such a thing? It only makes the person feel guilty and shifts the answer or lack thereof on the merits of a human being instead of the faithful and loving Father who hears and answers prayer. God is the One who answers prayers, and sometimes He just doesn’t.

Aching Joy is a spectacular look at traveling through your life with unanswered prayers. Hague’s painful journey begins when his oldest son was diagnosed with autism, which progressively became more severe. As he prays and struggles through the difficulties which come from such a diagnosis, he begins to wonder why God would do this to his child, and why his prayers for healing go unanswered. But as time goes on, he learns to connect with his autistic son in unique ways and slowly begins to see the beauty and love that shine from God even in difficult times and the land of unanswered prayer.

As an autistic woman, I understand personally many of the difficulties that autism brings. I am not as in need of constant help that others are in, but some of that makes it more painful. Though I would never ask to be healed of my autism, as that would change my entire personality and identity, I can relate to Hague as he searches for answers as his son goes through intense periods of autistic burnout (or regression, if you’d like) and struggles to form the connections and fulfill his need for relationship that God placed inside every human being.

I would recommend this book to any parents or friends of children, teens, or adults with autism, especially those who are Christians who have lost hope. The stories of a neurotypical parent struggling to understand his neurodivergent child is both heartbreaking and yet full of jagged beauty, which reflects our pilgrimages on this earth. Praise God that we all have a loving Father to lean upon in difficult times.

[Rebekah Taylor · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was excited to read this book as a Christian parent of a child with autism, hoping for it to help soothe the wounds from reconciling our circumstances to faith. It did not disappoint but also began to bring peace and restoring grace to other areas of my life. This is not a book of surface level clichés and rosy views of the world, but a book brimming with biblical truth, personal challenge and solidarity with the reader.
Bravely honest about their own family’s journey, and without sugar coating the reality of life, Aching Joy is full of hope whatever your own unexpected story, whether it’s a diagnosis, grief, the loss of a dream or the waiting for an answer.

[Misti Tanner · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is an outstanding read. It touches places many people prefer to be left alone, but as a Christian society, that’s what we need. We need more people that address the hard things, and that’s what Jason does in his book. Heartfelt and tear jerking, this book tickles your emotions, all the while opening a door to joy that you didn’t even know was there. It’s okay to grieve, but it’s not okay to lose hope. I highly recommend this book to everyone. We all experience sorrow, though it may not all look the same, and it’s about time someone addresses it head on, acknowledging it sucks, but encouraging us to give it to God and receive His joy in return.

[Alyssa Galvin · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was truly so sweet and encouraging to me! The author did a great job describing what it feels like to walk through really hard seasons of life and how to rely on God in those times! I would highly recommend this book for anyone who feels overwhelmed by trials or unanswered prayers! It taught me a lot about how to have joy in life’s hardest circumstances!

[Kendy Pearson · Rating 5 out of 5]

Aching Joy presents a brutally honest conversation between a man and his God. It is an exquisitely written and emotionally authentic journey through the Valley of Unanswered Prayer. From hopelessness to compromise to victory, Mr. Hague mirrors the path many of us take as we painfully wait on God. If you have been crying out for God, yearning for an answer He seems unwilling to give—this book is for you. It is not about autism. It is not about families. It’s about yearning and learning and leaning and living. Ripe with scripture and story that reveals God’s own heart, this book will bless anyone wanting a closer walk with God.

[Deb Conway · Rating 5 out of 5]

Book Review of Aching Joy by Jason Hague

I read this book, anticipating it would offer up some encouragement to families who are directly affected by autism.
What I discovered was something quite unexpected. It was a book written for me. It was, in fact, a beautifully written book for anyone who has experienced disappointment, whether caused by circumstances beyond our control, or by our own dreams for the life we expected to be living.
Jason Hague beautifully invites the reader into his vulnerable places of raw emotion and disappointments of prayers unanswered for his son, Jack. His personal journey, laid bare, allows us to relate to his emotions – if not to his unique circumstances as a Dad of a boy with autism. Jason believes deeply in the power of God to heal and yet he’s not seeing his prayers for a breakthrough with Jack answered.
Jason suggests that we may hold quiet, sanitized resentments toward God and advises that the first step in our spiritual healing is trusting God with the “ugly muddy truth of our souls.” He reminds us that, “Pain is never its own root. It’s a symptom of a deeper cause. Whether its in the body or the heart.”
Jason personal story invites us to ask uncomfortable questions of ourselves, to bleed, to shed honest tears, to surrender our deepest longings in an effort to begin to heal our hearts and discover the gift of Hope. He admonishes us to tend to that Hope, to keep it alive and find the little treasures in the dark aching places of our souls.
The challenge this book so beautifully gives us all, is to surrender our deepest longings… while trusting that an invisible God might breathe some life into them still. Hope. It is the big gift offered by this little book.
“And I will give you treasures hidden in the darkness- secret riches. I will do this so you may know I am the LORD the God of Israel, the one who calls you by name.” Isaiah 45:3

[Paul Nunn · Rating 5 out of 5]

In the pages of Aching Joy Jason Hague allows us to look into his very personal struggle to come to terms with the painful realities of unexpected hardships, disillusionment, and unanswered prayer. There are no sepia tones or softened edges here, instead Jason takes the reader along to witness the story of his wrestling without hiding the ugly bruises and the acquired limps. Jason not only puts his own story on display but he makes room for us to place our own stories and heartache in between the lines of Aching Joy. As we watch beauty and hope emerge from the ashes of the life Jason expected to have, our own stories get carried along, and we too can start to see how our journeys can be reframed, and redeemed by a God who is still faithful through it all.

[Paul Gunderson · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really enjoyed reading Aching Joy. The author does a superb job of explaining his journey in the paradox of experiencing joy in the midst of earthly suffering. I appreciate that there are no pat answers on this difficult theological tension. I also felt the author's inward struggle as he so vividly explained his experiences with his son's autism. I have not read another book like this one.

[Catherine McNiel · Rating 5 out of 5]

Jason writes about being a dad with an autistic son...but in a way that is applicable to anyone. He is personal, pastoral, and poetic. From the opening lines of the introduction I could hardly put it down, and he speaks so deeply about what loving God looks like in the real world of pain and joy. This book reads like a Psalm.

[JP · Rating 5 out of 5]

As a parent of 2 autistic children, I am always looking for companions on the autism journey. Jason's book provides that kind of companionship. He writes in a vulnerable, honest way about his struggle to connect with his autistic son, Jack -- but the book is really about deeper issues like how to balance hope and realism; how to accept the what-is without sinking into dull resignation; how to acknowledge struggle without trying to fix, escape, or seek pity; how to foster the potential in our children without making their achievements all about us. For Jason, faith in God is what helps resolve these tensions. However, faith is not presented as a panacea or a source of glib inspirational quotes (Jason specifically mentions the cliche so many of us love to hate: "God never gives you more than you can handle"), but as an anchor in times of real challenge and wrestling.

It's also clear throughout the book that autism is not an enemy. Jason doesn't talk about finding cures or reasons or "fixing" Jack; rather, he emphasizes over and over the need to connect with autistic people, to participate in how they see the world (something he and his family do consistently, in beautiful and often funny ways), and to foster inclusion and acceptance. I have to say I just LOVED getting to know Jack in these pages. He is such an interesting boy, and I could see so much of my own kids (especially my son) in him.

In his final pages, Jason says, "My story was a messy one ... [but] if I can help other parents -- especially dads -- identify what they are feeling instead of telling them the way they ought to feel, they might, in the end, be better equipped to love their children the way they ought to. They might, in other words, become better fathers." I have little doubt that those who read this book will come away with new information, new insights, and a renewed sense of what we all share, regardless of what unique circumstances we face.

[Karl Dumas · Rating 4 out of 5]

We’re told over and over from the pulpit that Christianity means joy. And when things are going well, that’s easy to believe. But some days it’s hard to find the joy that we so desperately want to experience. Jason Hague had day after day that seemed devoid of joy, but finally there was a breakthrough moment, and even in the midst of difficult times, he is now able to experience joy.
Aching Joy: Following God through the Land of Unanswered Prayer (NavPress, 2018) is the story of seeming unanswered prayers after the author’s world took a sharp turn when his son was diagnosed with moderate, and then severe, autism. Shattered dreams, difficult moments, and lots of questions, including a lot of “why me?”
But in this case there was faith, a caring pastor, and loving friends willing to stand by and walk through the dark times. They celebrated the successes, and were supportive during the regressions. The author goes through the stages of grief, as he mourns what might have been, but he also grows in his faith, and learns to trust God.
There are a couple of main stories here, along with several supporting ones. On one hand, we have the story of Jackson, the son who one day is different, and with that difference brings a whole new set of trials. On the other hand is Jason, the author, the dad, now a pastor, who learns about autism, and himself as he learns what it means to parent an autistic child.
There is a quote on the cover of this book which says it all: “This book will help you see that God is still in your story—and that your circumstances don’t get to decide you level of joy.” ~ September Vaudrey.
A tender story, full of love, laughter and tears. Have the tissues ready. 4/5
I received a copy of this book as a member of Tyndale House’s bloggers’ program. I was not required to write a positive review.

[Fay Jacobsohn · Rating 4 out of 5]

Have you ever struggled with the agony of prayers that go unanswered? Jason Hague had a son who was severely autistic. He had to give up his dreams of what his son should be. He had to give up his hope and prayers for a miracle. This book tells of his journey through remissions and small victories and his aching joy of not seeing his prayers and wishes granted. He not only tells the stories of living with an autistic son and other trials and struggles, but he deals with how we can find joy in spite of it all. He talks about knowing that God is with us, with cynicism, with celebrating small victories, with enduring and looking toward the joy like Christ did.
This is a story of a father's grief and struggles with autism. He describes how he came to acceptance and then goes on to tell how he even found joy. I learned a lot about autism, but even so, could identify with the author in his journey to see God and joy in the midst of pain and suffering.
This would be an excellent book for anyone who has an autistic child, and it is a good read for fathers to get another father's perspective, but it also speaks to us about how to find joy in other areas of unanswered prayer. It is an honest book and shares the author's raw emotions. We all have areas of unanswered prayer in our lives, so this is a good book for everyone to read.
(Please Note: Although Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., provided a copy of this book to me for review, the opinions expressed are my own.)

[Starla · Rating 5 out of 5]

Though I'm a book lover, I rarely purchase books because I simply cannot store them all, and I rarely need them again once I've read them. Aching Joy, however, may be an exception. I listened to it for free on Hoopla, but it is a book that I will likely refer to again in the future; I will be ordering my own hard copy. It's an easy read, and yet it has challenging depth. The raw honesty of Jason Hague as he shares his journey in "the land of unanswered prayer" is refreshing and adds authenticity to his counsel for those who are struggling, doubting, and wondering if God really hears and responds to our prayers and life circumstances. It will be especially meaningful for those who can identify with his experience as a parent of a special needs child, but the principles easily transfer to any painful situation a follower of Jesus may encounter. His suggestions are realistic and encouraging without preaching, shaming, or living in denial. At the very least, it is helpful just to know that someone else has had the same questions and struggles that I have and offers genuine hope.

[Kelly · Rating 5 out of 5]

One of the VERY best books about wrestling with God about struggles I've EVER EVER read. The author's context is with a child w/ autism (as is mine), but really this book is a SUPER accurate picture and comfort to those of us who know God CAN take away or heal ANY hard thing, but in His wisdom chooses not to in this lifetime.... and how to find JOY in the midst of hard things.

So many Christian books have an unspoken message that we should pray the pain away - and move past it, which can be an unintentionally shaming message for those of us who still struggle. This is a raw, real and encouraging book from someone who transparently shares the dance between the pain and the joy that God provides in the midst. I've bought tons of extra copies and passed around to friends - and it's by far one of the BEST books I've ever read. It's had a profound impact on my faith, on my ability to find joy in the midst and in feeling known, understood and seen. I'm grateful to the author for sharing his story!

[Susan C · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is an amazing book. A gifted story teller, Hague takes us on a journey that he weaves with raw, honest vulnerability and deep spiritual truth. He equips you with Kingdom insights, he subtly challenges and changes perspectives.
He turns hope into a verb - and equips the church with tools to walk through hard places.
And he does it all with a pastor’s heart, the Father’s heart for each of us His children shining through.
Personally speaking it has brought healing to do many different aspects of my life. Some things I’d kept buried for so long I hardly knew I was still carrying the weight of the disappointments and challenges.
I’m walking lighter, taller & with a greater freedom than I have ever known. I’ve stepped into a deeper intimacy with the heart of our Immanuel God than I have ever known. And the deep seated joy which is within me has a new strength and resiliency.
This book is a game changer. It is fire for the Kingdom.