Emotional Poverty in All Demographics

by Ruby K. Payne

Address anger, anxiety, and violence in the classroom with strategies and best practices that work in classrooms. Under-resourced students, wealthy students, and students in all demographics can benefit from calming and healing techniques Ruby Payne, author of A Framework for Understanding Poverty, shares in this book. Provides understandings of origins of anger, anxiety, and avoidance Gives a language to talk about brain regulation, integration, and emotional competence Provides tools for educators to address and reduce anger, anxiety, and avoidance Helps educators manage the “classroom dance” that occurs between the educator and the students Provides the tools to motivate good behavior Identifies the differences in male and female emotional processing “It was one of the most riveting speeches I have ever heard you give, and it gave us a sense of reassurance we all desperately needed. People cannot wait to get your book on emotional poverty. The information you provide can and will save the lives of so many children.” ―Jimmy C. Stokes, Ed.D. Georgia Association of Educational Leaders Athens, Georgia Winner of a 2019 IPPY award!

Genres: Education, Teaching, Nonfiction, Psychology, Professional Development

190 pages, Paperback

Published January 1, 2018

About the author

Ruby K. Payne is an American educator and author best known for her book A Framework for Understanding Poverty and her work on the culture of poverty and its relation to education. Payne received an undergraduate degree from Goshen College in 1972. She holds a Ph.D. in educational leadership and policy studies from Loyola University in Illinois, and is the founder of aha! Process, Inc., a company that informs schools, companies and other organizations about poverty.

Reviews

[Marcy Wells · Rating 4 out of 5]

4 stars because I loved this book. It made me think about so many things. I love that the book tells us how to think about our students and our teaching...but also how to think about ourselves. Our own emotional issues can have such an affect on our classroom without us even realizing it.

Not 5 stars b/c there was something missing from this book. When I finished, I had a specific student in mind, and so I went back through the book looking for specific answers to help him. I was left with more questions than answers. I repeated the process with a couple of different students and even thinking of myself as a student...same results.

Great information in this book and it really made me think about things. However, I didn’t walk away from the book feeling like I had specific tools to help my students. Just that I have awareness and now need to study more.

[Mary Wren · Rating 4 out of 5]

Read this as part of a book club at school. An eye opener for valuable information to help with struggling students and reminders of the significance that positive relationships with students can have. It is certainly a book that all educators should read. In fact, it was so good that I believe we are going to read it whole school next year. 🙌

[Mandie Erwin · Rating 5 out of 5]

https://www.amandaerwinauthor.com/boo...

See review on my website! Amazing book!

[Sandra Pepos · Rating 5 out of 5]

I got this book at a live seminar and after attending went to a book study from the book. A great read for every educator, but to have the buy in every educator in the building, administration, staff need to be on the same page. There is a positive way to talk to students without escalating a student.

[Stephanie · Rating 3 out of 5]

Ruby Payne talks about attachment, brain science and violence in simple terms for the educational setting.

[Lynn · Rating 4 out of 5]

All educators should read this to better understand our youngsters and themselves (especially if they’ve never really looked at their own issues before).

[❂ Ann ❂ · Rating 5 out of 5]

An essential book for educators who'd like to take charge of their classroom by addressing behavioral issues and checking their own emotional baggage at the door. I loved how the book suggests we look inward as educators before looking outward at student behavior. What we bring to the interaction makes a difference on how successful our interactions will be with children. The book delves into assessing a student's background, not just socio-economic factors but also bio-neurological, psychosocial, familial and emotional. Dialogues, classroom management procedures, checklists and instruments can be helpful in determining risk factors and identifying students who may need intervention. Here are some of my takeaways:

-In financially affluent households, there is a difference between old money and new money. Because money isn't a factor for old money, pressure on children is in the form of college admissions to prestigious colleges, standing out in sports and winning awards. Wealthy families with established wealth (going back several generations through fame and bloodline) are sustained by their connections and invitations privy to their name and class. Those families with new money are still motivated by money. Children and young adults are emotionally rewarded only when these things are accomplished in both types of families. Research has found that there is an increase use of ADDERALL in rich families. Adderall is a prescription (more commonly used for ADHD) but also used for concentration and weight loss . Additionally, children in these demographic groups are five times more likely to be hospitalized in psychiatric wards than any other groups. (p. 130)

-Where there is an absence in male role-models, boys are more likely to 1) be aggressive 2) be depressed 3) be prone to low self-esteem 4) do poorly in school. In addition - use drugs, be incarcerated, commit suicide, smoke, have sex before 15 and use alcohol. (p. 130) Not all is lost though-- when there is another male role-model who can step in (or if there is one caring adult), factors can be staved off and chances are better for children or young adults to still be successful in life.

-What do you do when the behavior must be managed because it cannot be changed? Indicators that behavior is biochemical: 1) behavior occurs without warning and without provocation 2) behavior is unpredictable and there is no pattern 3) behavior has no advantage for the student. (p. 133)

FIVE disorders that are biochemical and cannot be changed.

1) Schizophrenia
2) OCD
3) ADHD
4) Major Depression
5) Bipolar Disorder
(p. 134)

It helps to know which students need extra help and attention. They could be suffering in silence. Being an educator, I know that the earlier you can identify struggling students, the sooner you can intervene, the sooner you can refer them to the right place for help. There is so much more content in the book I can spend time to unpack such as creating a "risk responder team" to intercept students when they need to be (I love this idea) but I'll let you discover it. Another area that isn't often covered is another form of emotional poverty and what it means when a kid is "parentized"--forced to act like an adult b.c. the parent unfairly leans on the children. I've summarized the most important points. This really is a book I wish I had years ago before I started working with children. Though it resembles a workbook, I read it from cover to cover.

[Brandy · Rating 2 out of 5]

Ruby Payne uses research citations minimally in this work, with the overarching theme that we must develop a child’s inner self as emotional poverty is in all demographics (poverty, race, gender, etc.). It begins with “experts” sharing about the emotional levels of school shooters. But then ends up talking to teachers about their own emotional stability. There are thought-provoking pieces in here, but I found them to be more about adult emotional development than student development. Some of her comments are outlandish and she goes on narcissistic rants randomly talking about how the academic world has shamed her because of her deficit-thinking towards the poor. It really upset me when she told a personal anecdote about telling her son he was smarter than the teacher because he didn’t want to do the math problem the same. What a lousy thing to say... or telling the kid to get out of the car when his mom just died the night before. So weird... guess that’s the consequences of being self-published and hiring your own editors.

[Krista · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is such a fantastic resource; just enough of a dive into topics such as the regulation and integration of the brain, attachment styles, behavior, anger, social justice issues, and emotional needs across all these areas. Whether these topics are new to the reader, or previously learned in therapy or PD, I believe the way Dr. Payne connects these concepts to the classroom setting would benefit any educator.

Just read this quote from page 17 and see if you are *not* interested in reading more!
“An emotional meltdown is an unregulated, unintegrated brain response. If a student has an emotional meltdown, and the adult responds in the same fashion, there are now two people with unregulated, unintegrated brain responses. If adults interpret the in-your-face response as disrespect, then they will respond in anger. If adults understand that they are witnessing a response from an unregulated, unintegrated brain, then the adults understand that the typical discipline techniques will not work. So, what do the adults need to do?”

[veronica✨ · Rating 4 out of 5]

✨Emotional Poverty✨
Rating: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
Age: E for everyone
Read: 📖

Second book of the year! I had to read this for work, and I really recommend it for anyone in education.

I enjoyed this book quite a bit and it gave me a lot to think about myself and my reactions as well as why a student may be reacting the way they do.

However, I wish some topics would have been more in depth as I felt the facts were given and then we moved on.

Ultimately though it is a fantastic resource for educators and should be used more! Emotional poverty needs to be addressed just as much as physical and educational health in schools.

xoxo V

[Kimberley · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is such an important book!! I began reading it as a group book study, but the group was taking too long, so I decided to finish it during my holidays. Now, for me to read a PD book on holiday...is a HUGE compliment to the author. I found all of the research fascinating, and I found it applied to every area of my life, not just my life as an educator.

Now, if I can only convince ALL of our teachers to read it... :)

[Stacy Wolfe · Rating 1 out of 5]

This book is garbage. I had to read it for professional development. It is poorly researched, the sources are terrible. I don’t know how someone with the credentials of a principal thinks that writing a book about basically psychology and trauma thought that this was going to be the panacea to all school problems. It’s the poorly written cliffsnotes for The Body Keeps the Score with pretentious memoir sprinkled throughout and grad papers masquerading as research.

[Rebekah · Rating 4 out of 5]

This books was pretty good. There is definitely a stronger focus on discussing why a child might be acting out and not many strategies for actually helping the student with the behavior. I also wish I would have known that the book focuses more on affluent neighborhoods/schools. I’m still giving it four stars because it is very well-researched and full of useful information.

[Stephen · Rating 5 out of 5]

Following through with all the ideas in here is not simple, but that’s not why we got into teaching. Even if I am only able to implement a few of these ideas in the classroom, it was very much worth reading. Loved the brain science and research!

[Sam Toombs · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book not only helps teachers to understand emotional poverty, but how to recognize their own potential areas of emotional poverty and how a teacher’s own emotional baggage can effect their classroom.

[Mindy · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was a must read for school and to write a reflection paper afterwards. I enjoy this author a lot and took away lots of information to help me understand my students better! Highly recommend!

[Marina · Rating 4 out of 5]

An excellent examination of emotional poverty in children and adults. While this book focuses primarily on classrooms and schools, there are takeaways for anyone who works with children and adolescents.

[Melanie · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you work with kids, you need to read this book.

[Tracy Hutton · Rating 5 out of 5]

Amazing book! A paradigm shift for educators.

[Susan A. · Rating 3 out of 5]

Solid review of emotional issues that children face. There are some definite takeaways from this book for my class. There are some flow issues, but overall this is a good resource.

[Martha Mahoney · Rating 3 out of 5]

Some good pointers and tips for teachers. Maybe more useful for admin when putting triage plans in place.

[Ann · Rating 4 out of 5]

Powerful read. Opened my eyes to tips and techniques to use with my students.

[Angie Taylor · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really learned a lot about myself and my students. This is one of those books that I actually WANTED to keep reading. Extremely insightful❤️

[John Montgomery · Rating 5 out of 5]

This sheds a lot of light on the issues that often interfere with planned instruction.

[Ann Tuennerman · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent book. I highly recommend it to any educator. Lots of great info presented in a easy to understand form.

[Allison Welte · Rating 3 out of 5]

I read this book for a professional development.

[Megan Holder · Rating 3 out of 5]

personally, none of this information was new or unheard of... but I just got done with school so perhaps everything I learned was in line with this research/thought process.

[Kristin Bundy · Rating 5 out of 5]

This a must read for all educators, no matter your role!

[Beth Lind · Rating 5 out of 5]

So many practical ideas that I’ve already started using. This research goes right along with our school system focus on social emotional learning.

[Scharenjo · Rating 3 out of 5]

I learned a couple of new interventions to try with heightened students. The first half of the book was more useful for me than the second half.