Opening Our Hearts Transforming Our Losses

by Al-Anon Family Groups

Grief and loss affect almost every aspect of living—or having lived—with alcoholism. Members share how they have learned to acknowledge and accept these losses with the help of Al-Anon Family Groups.

Genres: Self Help, Nonfiction, Spirituality, Mental Health, Grief, Personal Growth

201 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2007

Reviews

[Ellen · Rating 4 out of 5]

Beautiful, compassionate book addressing all kinds of losses: people, animals, dreams, relationships. An Alanon recovery book that I found profoundly touching as well as helpful.

[Katrina · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book has really helped me to work through my grieving: loss of my mother, granddaughter, mentors. I couldn't read it immediately after the deaths, but I find that a year and a half later, it is exactly what I need. Another thing that has been helpful is the way it deals with loss of the idea of how I thought my life would be at this point. It covers many types of losses. I think anyone could relate to this book at any given time in their lives.

[Akilah · Rating 4 out of 5]

Covers different kinds and stages of grieving, including lost childhood, expectations, death of a loved one, death of an estranged loved one, death of a pet, etc.

A woman in my group recommended it to me because she said she realized she came to Al-Anon in a state of grief--even though no one close to her had died.

[Candace Haskell · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a wonderful book to read after my mother’s death almost 3 months ago. I have a lot of peace around my mother’s death but the loss opened up other unprocessed losses I hadn’t been willing to face. I now feel integrated after reading this book, answering the questions posed at the end of each chapter, and really letting myself feel a couple hours every morning before engaging with other humans. I feel richer, excited and no longer afraid of my inner depths, and at total peace with all of my life.

[Judy · Rating 4 out of 5]

I've owned this book for years and have read parts of it. Reading it through this summer is helping me work through the grief of losing my dad and revisiting some other healing. "Grief does not happen in a linear way." page 169. I'm sure I'll be using it again.

[Ayla · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent book about denial and grief experienced by family members of a loved one with addiction (and their own addiction to fixing)

[Courtney]

This book seems to assume people are familiar with Al-anon or be written for Al-anon. There was much that I wasn’t familiar with or didn’t apply as I don’t “have a sponsor” and I’m not “working my program” as the family member of an alcoholic (brother who recently passed), which is recognized as a disease that affects the whole family. However, there was much I resonated with, familiar thoughts, feelings and struggles, so I found much of it to be comforting. It’s written from the perspective of many other al-anon members grieving the various losses associated with addiction, so it’s not sharing research nor is at a neatly organized, step by step tool for grieving. It’s anecdotes from others who have grieved sharing what they experienced and the mantras and realizations that helped them get by.

[Julia Mitchell · Rating 5 out of 5]

Came when I really needed---talks about using the 12-steps and slogans to help us walk through the darkness of grief. Has member's stories in each chapter along with a list of questions to think about. Not only applicable for those dealing with family and friends with addictions, but also talks about the loss from divorce, or a pet's death, etc. Very useful for dealing with dementia and Alzhiemers. Caretaking can take so much out of us. With this book, I was able to see some hope for myself and family.

[Jaki · Rating 2 out of 5]

I appreciated that this book dealt with grief that wasn't just the grief of death. But, I didn't connect to the content very much - I may not have been the right audience, or at the right point in my life, to connect with it or any of the specific personal examples given - definitely a "your mileage may vary" kind of book.

[Kara Prem · Rating 5 out of 5]

It may be that I found this book when I was in deep grieving, but it was so helpful to me. I lost a family member not directly from alcoholism, but it played a part. Using this book helped me to work through the complex emotions I was experiencing, and left me feeling as if this book knew exactly what I needed to read whenever I picked it up.

[Andrea John-Smith]

Awesome book for adult children of alcoholics

[Melissa Masek · Rating 5 out of 5]

There's something for everyone in this book.

[Rodrigo Salazar · Rating 5 out of 5]

Bienintencionado

Lo leí en 4 días. Hace años que no terminaba un libro tan rápido.
Lo descubrí al asistir a reuniones de Al Anon.

Recomiendo asistir primero y luego leer.

[Dave · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.75 rounded up
By necessity, this book covers a wide range of grief. Some resonated with me today and some didn’t. The parts that did were difficult to get through and reliably provoked tears.

[Kate · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 stars. Read by audio.

Great for people suffering from loss/grief, regardless of the addiction at hand.

[Alan · Rating 3 out of 5]

Good and insightful book on dealing with grief of all types.

[Molly Tierney · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was like food, very nourishing.

[Hannah · Rating 4 out of 5]

Heartfelt

[Kenzie Stock · Rating 4 out of 5]

A great insight to grief, loss, alcoholism, and more. Just wish it was more knowledge based and less focused on Al-Anon. Kind of felt like an ad for Al-Anon in some parts.

[Carolyn Isaak · Rating 5 out of 5]

Amazing book! Perfect to read after working through the 12 steps. Life changing!!!!!

[Sequoia · Rating 5 out of 5]

I kind of forgot this book was about grief. When I started it, I hadn't been thinking about grief that much. Then as I slowly read it, I gained an understanding of how my own grief has operated in the past and how it is triggered currently. This is a book to keep coming back to!

"So much of our early recovery is about the journey from denial to acceptance...without denial, however, we may not be able to function at all... Though feeling dumb can be disconcerting we can trust that it is temporary." p98

"Admitting that we are grieving is admitting that we are not in control. Once we realize this, we can begin to feel some relief form the burden of carrying everything on our shoulders." p 14

"The cyclical or recurring nature of grief may be our Higher Power's way of protecting us from having to face too much all at once. Just because an old loss has resurfaced doesn't mean we are back where we started. It simple means we're being asked to face another aspect of our grief that we may not have been ready to face until now." p16

""Let Go and Let God" can help us as we begin to practice loving detachment. Admitting we are powerless doesn't mean we are helpless." p33 "As we come to understand more about detaching with love, we learn the difference between building walls and setting limits." p65

"Gratitude can deepen our perspective and expand our sense of the world. It can help us appreciate our lives more fully...We might find that we are suddenly more aware of sunrises and sunsets, the songs of birds at dusk, a child's smile, or an animal's warm fur. Those things we once took for granted or didn't notice become the very things we rely on to nurture our spirits." p172

[Gia · Rating 2 out of 5]

I just couldn't connect with this book. I have been in program for many years. Over time I have noticed that the books have become more distant in tone, especially the sections that are written as an overview; the parts that introduce the shares. I wish there were more sharings from members, and less overview sections.

[Pat · Rating 4 out of 5]

I've been in Al-Anon for over 20 years but still occasionally have low self-.image issues. This book covers the program well and the necessity of facing grief in its many forms

[Sue · Rating 3 out of 5]

Heart warming naturally, great photographs, remember this one for bibliotherapy and good books to share with church school groups.

[Jmtm35]

Covers all types of losses: dreams, a loved one through death, loss of a loved one and hopes through addiction, etc. Provides understanding of the grieving process. Love it!

[Tammy · Rating 4 out of 5]

i final fished this intensive book. it was not a easy task. i fought it some of the way. i am sorry i will be doing this book again. once a year at least. more will be revealed.k
tammy

[Melanie]

good book on loss and grieving, would probably be useful for just about anyone, not just families of alcoholics

[Vicky · Rating 4 out of 5]

There are some very good insights inside these pages.

[Phyllis · Rating 5 out of 5]

Sensitive and gentle. Soothing of confusion and sorrow. Answers and reflections spot on

Thank you