How to Have Your Life Not Suck: Becoming Today Who You Want to Be Tomorrow

by Bianca Juarez Olthoff

Do you ever just want someone to help you figure life out - to tell you how to win at work, what guys to stay away from, and what jeans rock your body shape? With so much information at your fingertips, real success, good dates, and true friendships can still feel out of reach. Bianca Juarez Olthoff is your guide (minus the cargo shorts and tacky hat) to becoming today who you aspire to be tomorrow.

Packed with lessons Bianca learned from her own mistakes and heartache, this field guide will help you avoid unnecessary detours on the path to your best self. With her signature wit, engaging stories, and brilliant insights from a counselor friend, Bianca gives spot-on advice for adulting, career, relationships, and faith. Following the biblical story of Ruth and Naomi, Bianca's humorous and honest anecdotes will empower you to create a successful life and discover all you can be.

This curated manual for the modern woman will help you:


Connect with a mentor, let go of bad friendships, and find a relationship worth keeping
Trust the goodness of God even in loss, betrayal, and unanswered questions
Take initiative, do hard things, and achieve meaningful success
Fall in love with God's Word and see the Bible come alive
The perfect cocktail of sass and down-to-earth guidance, How to Have Your Life Not Suck is just the book you need to navigate your way to the life you want to live. More than that, Bianca will show you that though life is tough, you are too.

Genres: Christian, Self Help, Personal Development, Nonfiction, Christian Living, Religion, Audiobook

Audio CD

First published August 27, 2019

Reviews

[Donna · Rating 1 out of 5]

If you are a fan of this author you might want to scroll on by because I struggled with this one.

First and foremost, I'll mention that I'm not in the target audience here. But even with that said, I can usually go with 2 or 3 stars. However, this one kind of hit some of my pet peeves.

For one, it was a little too 'cutesy' for me. The vocab was repetitive and definitely geared to the younger crowd.

It was also overly simplistic with the obvious. For instance, the author mentions a girl she came into contact with at the beginning of this book whose appearance was lacking. In one sentence she says God loves you and in another she is saying that everything about you is saying something about you. Then she proceeded to recommend showering, washing 'everywhere' and to not forget the hair while you are in there. Once you have your ducks in a row, you can date boys who brush their teeth and give good gifts. If that is helpful to you then this is the book for you.

[Emily P · Rating 5 out of 5]

I laughed, I nodded, I highlighted, I exclaimed,"YES!" with this one. Bianca Oltzhoff is a firecracker who keeps it real in "How To Have Your Life Not Suck: Becoming Today Who You Want To Be Tomorrow." I made lists of people who I wanted to recommend this book to and learned a lot from it myself!

We have many within our society who, honestly, haven't had the support and encouragement they need to move forward into healthy adulthood. I know at different times in my life I wished there had been people who could step up and help, giving me healthy advice. Bianca is that adult who can tell it like it is and still be kind enough to encourage you towards positive change.

Through the anchor of the biblical story of Ruth and Naomi, Olthoff shares specific reasons why Ruth is someone we should follow after, learn from and draw inspiration from. The complex story of what Ruth walked through is broken down into subjects for chapters.

Olthoff shares the stories of unique people she has ministered to through the years as well as examples of the struggles everyone deals with as they become an adult. The book addresses so many things that it is difficult to list them all, but be assured the important things are fully covered. Olthoff also gives insight into how our view of ourselves and who Christ sees us as can often differ. I love that she's not afraid to address difficult topics along with adding the insight from a therapist at the end of each chapter. This book is for anyone who has had issues with accepting the truth that adulting is hard to navigate!

One of my favorite parts of the book centered around her family's powerful story of redemption, second chances and new life in Christ. You will want to keep that highlighter handy, trust me!

If you've never heard of Bianca Olthoff, get ready. She's a powerhouse of a Bible teacher, honest and vulnerable. She has a great sense of humor and a passion for loving people. She has served in many ministry capacities and does not shy away from tough issues. She serves as pastor alongside her husband in Orange County, CA at the church they founded, The Father's House. She is also active in the non profit world, running a prision ministry called In The Name of Love. If you enjoy this book, then also take a look at her prior book, "Play With Fire."

I was excited to read an early copy, thanks to Zondervan Publishing. I chose to review and all opinions are my own.

[Brianne Pennington · Rating 3 out of 5]

I absolutely love Bianca.  When I first started my religious journey, her words spoke to me the most.  This book was difficult for me to get into simply because it seemed to be written for women at a different stage of life than what I am currently in.  Overall, it still had lessons that I could learn and was a good book.

[Jenn Taylor · Rating 5 out of 5]

With funny, Biblically-based one-liners like "No ringy, no dingy," Bianca Olthoff does not mince words and creates a powerful, truthful punch. Having heard Bianca speak at multiple conferences, I knew this book would be life-changing and was it ever! Not Suck has been a breath of fresh air and encouragement from page one. 

I resonated with the book because of the grief and loss my family experienced when both my grandmothers, father, and uncle went to their Heavenly homes within 23 months. Our lives were turned upside down and never the same.  Now 12 years later, I'm a single 30-something still surviving and trying to stay afloat in this game called life, and I know I'm not the only single lady to feel this way.

Bianca is a gifted communicator and storyteller who has a way with words to touch the hearts of generations. I laughed and cried on repeat, and only paused to highlight or post. I could not put the book down! I found myself reading for hours and flying through chapters like Bianca was live in my living room. It hit so close to home and I couldn't wait to hear what she had to say next!

If you need a pick-me-up life gets tough, then "How to Have Your Life Not Suck" will pull you up and put you on the road in the right direction. It's an ideal read for a graduate or someone embarking on a new and uncertain adventure in life, and I can't wait to share this wisdom with my friends and family. 

[Shayle Nelson · Rating 5 out of 5]

Bianca pours out her heart in this book. You can feel her drive and determination to fill our lives with practical ways to have it not suck. I cried, I laughed, and I said, “Amen!” quite a few times out loud. This book has the power to change lives. There is fire and truth behind every word. From covering dating to adulting through the lives of Ruth and Naomi, I gained many new perspectives on how to better myself to glorify the Lord in those areas. My favorite part of reading this was how Bianca always tied everything back to Scripture. It reminded me that in all we do, we do it to represent God and all He stands for.

All in all, this book is a must read. Single, dating, or married, this book is for you. Long time believer of Christ or new to the faith, this book is for you. Unsure of your faith or where you stand, this book is for you. Stuck and not sure where to go next, this book is for you. Everyone can gain something from it. I’m so excited to see how many lives will be changed by it. Your life will not suck after reading this!

[Suzanna · Rating 5 out of 5]

Love this book! And love the author - pretty sure we're soul sisters and would be best friends in real life, haha.

She takes the book of Ruth (from the Old Testament in the Bible) and uses it as a guide for how to live life well, from dating and relationships to being a successful person in the work force to trusting God in all things.

Equally hilarious, down-to-earth and with words of significance and impact, this is going on my faves and will-gift-it-to-others lists.

[Katie · Rating 3 out of 5]

More like 2.75 ⭐️’s. For multiple reasons, but I’ll keep this quick & just touch on one thing. Something in particular that I did find annoying was the almost constant (sometimes overly forced IMO) connection of the million topics covered (every chapter covered something different & there were 24…) in this book to the book or Ruth. Some of the connections seemed like a bit of a stretch & forced. Including Bianca sometimes saying things like ‘we can probably safely assume Ruth was feeling X or struggling with X’. A lot of liberty seemed to taken with some of the supposed connections from Ruth to the modern day topics Bianca was discussing.

[Anyah · Rating 4 out of 5]

Wish I'd had this in my 20's. This is the kind of stuff Rachel Hollis WISHES she was dishing out. Girls/ladies do not be deceived by the shallowness of that girl. Bianca may be young but she is on fire! Can't wait to see what she writes as she gets older.

[Sam Fletcher · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this book!!! I loved how she was so openly honest and explained the story of Ruth in the best way to make it relatable in a way that makes you laugh, cry and then really look at what you’re doing in your life!!!
Highly recommend it!!!!!!!

[Sara Beth Scaife · Rating 5 out of 5]

Way better than I expected.

[Angela Sangalang · Rating 5 out of 5]

Imagine holding a glass of wine and lounging on the couch while listening, laughing, and talking with your homegirl. This is that book. Bianca is honest and funny while delivering wisdom, encouragement, and practical help.

I love Bianca's understandable deep dive into Ruth's life and what we can learn from this book in the Bible. I also like Dr. Deb's Thoughts From A Therapist sections. You get a mix of inspirational and informational learning. Love that.

If you feel a little stuck, this book is for you. That's where I was and it's like Bianca came over to sympathize, cheer me on, then kick me in the behind to get me moving towards a...well...a life that didn't suck!

[Elizabeth Deters · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book reads so quickly. I have heard Bianca speak before, and she writes just like she speaks. She packs a powerful punch but also brings a laugh, and add some serious wisdom in between. At first I was worried that this book was covering too broad of a topic, until I learned that it follows the book of Ruth. Bianca takes the biblical book of Ruth and pulls out modern life lessons in three main categories for young women. The categories are dating, faith, and Adulting. It is a good look into this book of the Bible, and a good opportunity to reflect in your own heart. Bianca also ends each chapter with comments from a psychologist. I admire the way she acknowledges the need for an expert in talking about heavy topics.

[MaryEdmo · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a good book. I'm not the intended audience, but I finished it, just because. It's full of truth in Bianca's own unique style. I'd probably recommend this to teens or twenty-somethings. It's encouraging.

[Kristin · Rating 3 out of 5]

Great book, but not for me in this stage of life. I would absolutely recommend this book to a young, single woman in her twenties (possibly early 30s). She’s funny, down to earth and relatable. Good read if you’re young and just starting out into your adulthood.

[Sydneyann Chase · Rating 3 out of 5]

I think I would've enjoyed reading this as a college student as most of the book is pretty common sense advice on how to essentially be a responsible adult. But being in my 30s, this book missed the mark for me.

[Catrina Berka · Rating 3 out of 5]

I’m not the millennial target audience for this book, so I don’t feel like I’m the most qualified to rate how “good” it is. It was an easy read, full of practical and Biblical examples. But she writes for young women starting out on their adult lives and careers…not me.

[Kristin Connelly · Rating 3 out of 5]

Great book, but I'm not the intended audience. Definitely recommend this book to a young, single woman. She’s funny and down to earth.

[Alison Wall · Rating 5 out of 5]

“How To Have Your Life Not Suck” is a book this current generation of young women need in their pocket. Bianca touches on all the things through out this book from dating to faith to adulting. Bianca weaves the Bible story of Ruth through out this whole book and gives us take aways that are easy to apply to our own lives. Some of my favorite parts where from Dr.Deb and I cannot express how much I love that Bianca teams up with a therapist to help us better understand the points that Bianca makes such as her thoughts on “internet stalking”, rejection, and character.

In a world where there is a lot of pressure to be a strong independent woman, it can be hard to try and balance it all. Bianca encourages us to be strong and independent women but she also encourages us to be compassionate, good friends, and honorable women. She challenges us to find value in ourselves so we can be all that Christ has called us to be. She lets us know that we don’t have to do it alone and she gives us advice on how to build healthy relationships around us so that not only will we succeed but others around us can also.

[Katrina Julia · Rating 5 out of 5]

I first saw Bianca at Passion City the Grove. I did a double take as I had followed her twin Jasmine for years, and never came across this Jesus Loving Incredible Hilarious Women! I laughed so much as she covered Ruth one of my fave books of the Bible. I have listened to her Warrior Woman online, guest appearances with Transformation Church, her own church and IG posts, and her podcast!
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When I learned about this book, I headed over to Audible to get it especially when I saw she reads. I love her vulnerability, varying voices, and stories that illustrate her heart and make things come to life. I loved learning about her own testimonies, her mom and dads, and how she breaks down the book of Ruth! I have been sharing about it recently myself so I loved how the Holy Spirit aligned this!
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If you love reliability, vulnerability, humor, respect, love and honor towards God and others, you will love Bianca!

[Ulianna · Rating 5 out of 5]

Many may gloss over the title of this book and think, "Great, another self-help book." Krrrrrr. Hit that break because this is not just "another one of those books". Not Suck speaks to women of all ages and all stages of life. Whether you are single, married, experiencing blessings or going through loss, this book gives you the tools to navigate through the varying seasons of life and to do so with grace and dignity. It is designed to strengthen you in your faith and help you rise up to become the woman God wants you to be, based on the biblical story of Ruth. It will have you laughing, crying and resonating with the people who are mentioned in this book. Plus it will make for a great gift for the women in your life!! 

[Tracie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow! A must have handbook for all young women. Not only does this book break down the book of Ruth, it does so in a way that is relatable to our present day but doesn't take away the original message from the Bible. Throughout this book there is practical advice and 'gems' that you can refer back to time and time again as you go through each season of your life. Challenges are not sugar coated but empathy is shared and practical guidance given in a fun, and friendly way. Reading this book I've laughed, I've shed a tear or two (on a busy train!) and I'm fuelled with food for thought.
All I can say is 'THANK YOU'. I will definitely be refering to this book regularly through my journey of adulthood and beyond.

[Kristy Mersinger · Rating 5 out of 5]

If your best friend recorded her “let’s get real” conversation

That’s exactly how this book reads. If I was sharing a meal or coffee with Bianca, I feel like these are the words she would say to my face. There is something in this book for everyone, no matter what phase of life you’re in. It’s so encouraging and honest – it’s the “real talk” that we all need in our lives, but maybe haven’t been brave enough to hear or had someone to say it to us in a caring way.

The words on the page jump out to with the perfect balance of care and humor. It’s so easy to read through, even with weighty topics. You’ll find yourself going back to re-read sections so you can let the truths sink in just a bit more. Don’t wait; get a copy of this book. You won’t be disappointed!

[Jenna Whalen · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book felt more along the lines of "self-help" than Olthoff's first book, but many of the situations she was writing about, I've already been through. While reading her first book prior to this one obviously isn't a requirement, I was glad I had because it gave more details to some of the situations Olthoff wrote about in this book, but didn't get into the nitty-gritty of.
I liked how Olthoff incorporated the story of Ruth in this book because it made me dive deeper into that book of hte Bible and notice some new things about it. But, it's a small book which means that after a while Olthoff got a bit repetitive in her examples from it.
Overall I think this book would be great for someone younger - high school or college aged. It just felt a little young and not as relevant for me.

[Jessica Lynn · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book combines two of my favorite things - Bianca Olthoff and the book of Ruth. I have had the pleasure of seeing Bianca preach a few times and she is engaging, funny, and communicates the Word of God effectively. The story of Ruth is my favorite Bible story. So when I heard of this book, I was excited to dive in. Olthoff takes the story of Ruth and illustrates how it has applications for everyday life. She uses Ruth's story to give Biblically-based, down-to-earth advice on a range of topics, from relationships to how to grow in your career. I laughed, found myself nodding along, and felt inspired to make changes in some areas where I have been feeling stuck. This is a great book and I highly recommend it for anyone who is feeling stuck or wanting to reflect on different aspects of their life.

[Laura Theobald · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is the how to guide I wished I had when I was 18, but is still useful nearing 30. Bianca is like your really cool older cousin or super young aunt who tells it to you straight. She doesn't hold back and her writing is easy to read and pulls you in to make you read even more. I want to buy 50 copies of this book and pass it around to every woman I know- single, dating, just trying to figure out adulthood. This is the book to read if you want real advice for how to navigate early adulthood as Christian, using scripture to guide us through challenges that may not have existed in biblical times, but still face us today.

[Gina Fox · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is filled with so much wisdom, Scripture and spice. Bianca is not afraid to say it like it is, and doing it in love. She speaks to every woman, no matter the stage of life they are in. This is why I recommend it to every woman who wants to hear motivation bathed in Scripture and who wants to see changes in their lives.

There are so many great takeaways from this book. Below is just a couple of them.

“Act boldly in the face of fear, know who you are, be hungry and humble. But most importantly, don’t be afraid to go after what you want”(pg. 163).

“Your story could be the key to unlock someone else’s prison” (pg. 211).

[Meagan Andersen · Rating 5 out of 5]

I’ve seen Pastor Bianca Olthoff speak twice and listened to a lot of messages online that were poignant and powerful! Her book Play With Fire had a huge impact on my heart for ministry and for the power of the Holy Spirit. How to Have Your Life Not Suck blew away all of my expectations and truly related to the season I’m in right now. I recommend this book if you’re a woman at all, but especially if you’re in your twenties and in any period of transition or waiting! It’s funny, fresh, empowering, and jam packed with life-giving, Biblical truth. Thanks, Pastor Bianca for another game changer. 🖤

[alisonwonderland (Alison) · Rating 4 out of 5]

Neither my 20yo son nor I am in the target audience for this book, and I was somewhat off put by the title. Still, we both ended up quite enjoying it.

I had previously heard Olthoff preach, and her speaking-slash-writing style is engaging. My son said she comes off as “a little bit of sass and a lot of love.” (We listened to the audio version, read by the author, during our commuting time together.)

The section on dating is well outside my current interests, but I think that discussions of friendship, work, faith, and redemption have universal applicability. The Book of Ruth from the Old Testament provides the foundation for the entirety of Olthoff’s message.

[Avalon · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5-cute book, a student of mine was reading it and I started the read to get a feel for what she was reading, as I was just getting to know her. I read it off and on for about a year. I enjoyed the easy to relate to stories and the incorporation of the story of Ruth woven into the lessons. Some parts were a bit cheesy but it made the read fun at times. I felt that the message at some points teetered on having some “bootstrap” theory backing, but I don’t think that was on purpose, I think it’s some people’s way of explaining things and what helps them get through tough times. Overall, cute read.

[Logan Hunter · Rating 5 out of 5]

“Goodbye childhood, hello womanhood”!

Ugh, this book… it resonated with many things my heart and soul desires. For being in my mid-20s, it was a perfect read. I wish I found it sooner because it would have made a huge impact in my early career. It teaches you how to get rid of childish habits and make steps on how to achieve your career goals. It demonstrates how to be STRONG women. Lastly, this book makes you like about the legacy that you will leave for future generations.

Regardless of age, every women should read this! It goes beyond young adult. There are deep questions that I think a lot of people need to read.