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Prison: A Survival Guide
The cult guide to UK prisons by Carl Cattermole – now fully updated and featuring contributions from female and LGBTQI prisoners, as well as from family on the outside.
Blood – but not as much as you might imagine
Sweat – and the prisons no longer provide soap
Tears – because prison has created a mental health crisis
Humanity – and how to stop the institution destroying it Featuring contributors Sarah Jake Baker, Jon Gulliver, Darcey Hartley, Julia Howard, Elliot Murawski and Lisa Selby. ‘Essential reading’
Will Self ‘We’re in the justice dark ages and Cattermole’s great book switches on the lights’
Dr Theo Kindynis, Lecturer in Criminology Goldsmiths, University of London
‘It has the potential to change a lot of people’s lives for the better’
Daniel Godden, Partner at Berkeley Square Solicitors’
Blood – but not as much as you might imagine
Sweat – and the prisons no longer provide soap
Tears – because prison has created a mental health crisis
Humanity – and how to stop the institution destroying it Featuring contributors Sarah Jake Baker, Jon Gulliver, Darcey Hartley, Julia Howard, Elliot Murawski and Lisa Selby. ‘Essential reading’
Will Self ‘We’re in the justice dark ages and Cattermole’s great book switches on the lights’
Dr Theo Kindynis, Lecturer in Criminology Goldsmiths, University of London
‘It has the potential to change a lot of people’s lives for the better’
Daniel Godden, Partner at Berkeley Square Solicitors’
208 pages, Paperback
Published June 20, 2019
21 people are currently reading
372 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 39 reviews
October 18, 2020
Please read! An amazing book. Highly recommend with my whole heart.
July 7, 2019
This book is really great and every UK taxpayer should read it to gain insight into the UK prison system. The facts are hard but delivered w humour and warmth, in a way that doesn't make u feel drained afterwards. It's almost conversational, threaded with personal anecdotes from the author, and then concise, personal stories from the contributing writers who range from the daughter of Ian Hartley (still imprisoned on IPP years after his original sentence passed), to Sarah Jane Baker, a transwoman incarcerated in a men's prison. Throughout the book there are loads of helpful links & references too (it is a guide!). Some are for those who may be about to become prisoners, some are for the friends and family members of prisoners, and then others are for people like me who just want to educate themselves. You read them all though, as even though they are included in the reference section at the back of the book, many are a part of the text and it seems important they are embedded in such a way (hard to explain why - you'll have to read)! Anyway I hate to call this 'genre-bending' but it sort of is? I've passed it onto a friend who likes flash fiction, and then gonna give it to my heavy-hitting-war-tome reading Dad because I really feel a lot of people can access it. Now you should too!!!
October 27, 2022
Verdict: diamonds wrapped in stinking hazardous garbage. Value that how you will.
I learned that in some prisons you're not allowed blu-tack, that cell thefts often happen during fights when everyone is distracted, and that most prisoners serve only half their sentence inside. The advice for what to take in with you and what to do when you arrive is surely very helpful.
However, I am not convinced by this author. He opens essentially by saying: "prison isn't the violent place you think it is - it's not that bad". False representations in the pansy media would make you think prison is, quite frankly, hellish.
He proceeds to treat fist fights as if they're as normal as handshakes, and mentions in passing the official squad of slave-wage prisoners dedicated to cleaning up pools of blood, sick and faeces in the aftermath of violent incidents. Cattermole is unwilling to acknowledge that this does constitute a high level of violence, and unwilling to see why it may not have happened to him.
It smacks of someone trying to seem tough and cool, to the detriment of all else. To the point of refusing to acknowledge that being under lock for 23 hours a day is inhumane. Cattermole publishing a book saying that he didn't really care and preferred being in his cell - no matter how true for him - is extremely callous. The isolation and stress of being locked up in cell are major contributing factors to the devastatingly high rates of self harm and suicide in prisons.
He talks about getting this book secretly printed by his Moorgate banker mate, and doesn't seem to register that prison may have been a slightly easier experience for him because of the class, race, gender and mental health privilege that allows him to advocate for himself, and places him under less stringent surveillance.
In brief: the anecdotal evidence of a person who is able to publish a book is far from representative of the average experience of incarceration. A good author will acknowledge this. Cattermole does not.
While his practical advice is surely very helpful for those who can access it, the central thesis of the book that surrounds it is that prison is survivable if you do all the right things. This is just not true for a great many people, and it's grossly misleading to the book's majority middle-class readership.
Angela Davis and Mim Skinner are far better alternatives for anyone wanting to learn about prison.
I learned that in some prisons you're not allowed blu-tack, that cell thefts often happen during fights when everyone is distracted, and that most prisoners serve only half their sentence inside. The advice for what to take in with you and what to do when you arrive is surely very helpful.
However, I am not convinced by this author. He opens essentially by saying: "prison isn't the violent place you think it is - it's not that bad". False representations in the pansy media would make you think prison is, quite frankly, hellish.
He proceeds to treat fist fights as if they're as normal as handshakes, and mentions in passing the official squad of slave-wage prisoners dedicated to cleaning up pools of blood, sick and faeces in the aftermath of violent incidents. Cattermole is unwilling to acknowledge that this does constitute a high level of violence, and unwilling to see why it may not have happened to him.
It smacks of someone trying to seem tough and cool, to the detriment of all else. To the point of refusing to acknowledge that being under lock for 23 hours a day is inhumane. Cattermole publishing a book saying that he didn't really care and preferred being in his cell - no matter how true for him - is extremely callous. The isolation and stress of being locked up in cell are major contributing factors to the devastatingly high rates of self harm and suicide in prisons.
He talks about getting this book secretly printed by his Moorgate banker mate, and doesn't seem to register that prison may have been a slightly easier experience for him because of the class, race, gender and mental health privilege that allows him to advocate for himself, and places him under less stringent surveillance.
In brief: the anecdotal evidence of a person who is able to publish a book is far from representative of the average experience of incarceration. A good author will acknowledge this. Cattermole does not.
While his practical advice is surely very helpful for those who can access it, the central thesis of the book that surrounds it is that prison is survivable if you do all the right things. This is just not true for a great many people, and it's grossly misleading to the book's majority middle-class readership.
Angela Davis and Mim Skinner are far better alternatives for anyone wanting to learn about prison.
January 28, 2021
A must read, I’ve always been somewhat fascinated by prisons and the system generally but since working in the field as can be imagined this has grown. Great in-sight into prison life. The book is written in a conversational style, an easy read, that has definitely had an impact on me. Understanding issues from different perspectives makes for a well rounded, empathetic individual - this book definitely contributes.
October 18, 2019
I'm hoping not to serve any time at her majesty's pleasure, but you never know. Fortunately, I now have a good idea of what to expect and how to get through it. Also, prison and the criminal justice system is in desperate need of reform and an injection of cash - conditions for prisoners and those who work in prisons would seem to be appalling.
September 1, 2019
let’s hope no one has to endure prison but if - this is helpful for a lot of people in the uk i guess - shame on the political class there
October 18, 2020
Interesting and informative. A must-read for both those who already know a bit and those who know nothing at all.
May 6, 2025
cool that he decided to write this
Read
October 31, 2024I have not been arrested, don’t worry
February 9, 2020
Reading out of interest, never been to prison, never knowingly known anyone who has been either. Trying to do my duty to understand people with experiences different to my own. This book challenged internal prejudices about prisoners that I didn’t know I had, so thank you to Carl and the other writers for that. It gave me a small insight into different parts of prison life that I’ve never had to think of before and it highlights how flawed the prison system is. I learnt a good number of new words during the read as well! Would recommend!!
June 27, 2020
I’m not the target audience for this but I found the woe-is-me tone very grating. I appreciate that there are miscarriages of justice, however these are majority of people incarcerated deserve to be there and know what the consequences could be when they commit the crimes that landed them there. It’s obviously a flawed system however the author seemed to blame others for everything that happened to him. I’m sure the book could be useful for some and it was mildly entertaining but I wouldn’t recommend it.
October 4, 2020
I picked this book up out of curiosity as personally I am not on my way to spend time at Her Majesty's pleasure nor are any of my relatives. It was a fascinating read containing lots of different tips about surviving while living in prison, hopefully some of them will give you some idea of what to expect and be somewhat prepared although I don't think any book could truly do that.
Split into different sections there is advise on a lot of different things, one of the areas I did think it lacked in was youth prisons. There was a small section but certainly not one that could get anyone prepared, I would look for a different book if you are this situation.
I found the section about prison wives really interesting from someone who had been in that situation, it was something I've not heard very much about before.
If you enjoyed this book or just want to know more about prison life there are two podcasts that I definitely recommend
- Ear Hustle (An American podcast about life in and after San Quain, there are a lot of parallels in the book to the podcast told by people inside)
- The secret life of Prisons (A UK podcast about life in prison from people on the outside, presented by Phil and Paula but Carl Cattermole also has regular input in the podcast, so if you want more from him it defiantly is the place to go!)
Split into different sections there is advise on a lot of different things, one of the areas I did think it lacked in was youth prisons. There was a small section but certainly not one that could get anyone prepared, I would look for a different book if you are this situation.
I found the section about prison wives really interesting from someone who had been in that situation, it was something I've not heard very much about before.
If you enjoyed this book or just want to know more about prison life there are two podcasts that I definitely recommend
- Ear Hustle (An American podcast about life in and after San Quain, there are a lot of parallels in the book to the podcast told by people inside)
- The secret life of Prisons (A UK podcast about life in prison from people on the outside, presented by Phil and Paula but Carl Cattermole also has regular input in the podcast, so if you want more from him it defiantly is the place to go!)
June 6, 2025
very interesting, entertaining and sobering read detailing some of the realities of being a prisoner, or related to one. A practical guide for those inside or out, yet on the receiving end of the system, but also a serious read for anyone else who wants to know about UK and similar societies. How we treat (or simply ignore) these people tells us a lot about ourselves…
The impression I got from this book about life inside is that it's a lot more mundane than popular consciousness often suggests, but also the way it destroys the soul comes across much better in this book than I've seen it elsewhere. The bureaucracy sounds truly awful. Very entertaining writing style. Lots of slang and acronyms in here, mostly explained, who knows how out of date in the few short years since the book was released. 'Screws', 'turbo-screws', 'turbo-GTI-screws' – all varieties of prison officers. Lol. CRAP – confusing rules applied patchily.
If prison is a cartoon sketch in your mind largely informed by TV and film, this book will give you something much more realistic to replace that with.
The impression I got from this book about life inside is that it's a lot more mundane than popular consciousness often suggests, but also the way it destroys the soul comes across much better in this book than I've seen it elsewhere. The bureaucracy sounds truly awful. Very entertaining writing style. Lots of slang and acronyms in here, mostly explained, who knows how out of date in the few short years since the book was released. 'Screws', 'turbo-screws', 'turbo-GTI-screws' – all varieties of prison officers. Lol. CRAP – confusing rules applied patchily.
If prison is a cartoon sketch in your mind largely informed by TV and film, this book will give you something much more realistic to replace that with.
February 7, 2022
I've always been super interested in prison life - it's a world most of us won't ever get to experience, and so far away from normal society it's strange to imagine. This gives you a pretty good look into the UK prison system - which is almost as corrupt as the US system.
Carl's writing was friendly, easily accessible and really interesting - I learned a lot (including where the word nonce originates). There were a few bits I'd have liked more explanation on. Like, in what circumstances are you allowed to move from your cell to the other bits? And why was he on 23-hour bang-up? And how do you access books that aren't in the prison library?
I didn't realise prisoners had to get student loans to do A-levels etc. - just another shitty example of our shitty UK government and its corruption.
A lot of this book made me sad, but it also includes a lot of ways to help out, which I'm now determined to do.
Carl's writing was friendly, easily accessible and really interesting - I learned a lot (including where the word nonce originates). There were a few bits I'd have liked more explanation on. Like, in what circumstances are you allowed to move from your cell to the other bits? And why was he on 23-hour bang-up? And how do you access books that aren't in the prison library?
I didn't realise prisoners had to get student loans to do A-levels etc. - just another shitty example of our shitty UK government and its corruption.
A lot of this book made me sad, but it also includes a lot of ways to help out, which I'm now determined to do.
January 27, 2024
Interesting, first hand insight into the depressing, backwards and corrupt nature of the British prison system.
Always said I’d just top myself if I ever had to go to jail but this book is also a good manual on how to navigate prison, so I’d fancy my chances a bit more now. Having said that, it’s also a good description of how deeply unjust, depressing and inhumane British prisons are.
Easy to read and written in a way that’s accessible for anyone. The illustrations are cool too. So blindingly obvious that the UK prison system is counterproductive and needs overhauling, but I’m not holding my breath for the government to do the obvious and sensible thing.
Free the mandem. Bun down babylon system.
Always said I’d just top myself if I ever had to go to jail but this book is also a good manual on how to navigate prison, so I’d fancy my chances a bit more now. Having said that, it’s also a good description of how deeply unjust, depressing and inhumane British prisons are.
Easy to read and written in a way that’s accessible for anyone. The illustrations are cool too. So blindingly obvious that the UK prison system is counterproductive and needs overhauling, but I’m not holding my breath for the government to do the obvious and sensible thing.
Free the mandem. Bun down babylon system.
April 11, 2020
I read a version of this book a few years ago, so it was great to see this expanded and updated version - I really appreciated the different viewpoints, and the inclusion of voices from marginalised groups.
This is a really good book, and worth reading whatever your relation to the prison system. I have no personal experience with it, but wanted to know and understand more.
The writing is clear, concise, and just the write blend of humour, factual details, and political vision.
July 10, 2021
Excellent read. Short and to the point, in plain but not boring writing that cuts to the heart of the matter and includes a variety of voices, including that of Sarah Jane Baker. Great starting place on the problems with UK prison, though I have definitely not tested any of the advice for those inside.
July 23, 2021
I have no intentions on going to prison, but you never know, but I think everyone should read this book, particularly if you're in the UK. More people need to be aware of the absolute state of the system.
It was really fascinating to see the different insights, particularly of what it's like to be in a women's prison.
It was really fascinating to see the different insights, particularly of what it's like to be in a women's prison.
September 16, 2023
Really amazing book about the current state of the prison system. If you have any inclining to see prisoners as “lesser citizens” please read this book and educate yourself appropriately. IEP is insane, prison is for rehabilitation, not punishment. The punishment is being there at all. Reforms are needed and I hope one day we can achieve this.
November 9, 2019
not useful to me personally but I can see it would be to people who need it. made for a very interesting read as a sociology student with little experience or knowledge in the justice (or not so) system
July 2, 2020
Really bold, brutally honest book. Heartbreaking yet motivating. Displaying all that is the UK Prison system. Evokes hard conversations and thoughts on whether prison really is the best option or if it just increases recidivism. Must read!
December 28, 2022
Great book, took me about half a day to read, really informative and helpful, especially liked hearing the contributions from others. Would have been interested to hear more about the experiences of non-white prisoners and families in the UK though.
September 20, 2025
2.75 stars
Informative book about prison life in UK - beneficial for anyone wanting to know more about people who serve time in prison or want to work in criminal justice system. Enjoyed the parts from the contributor who had served time in a female prison
Informative book about prison life in UK - beneficial for anyone wanting to know more about people who serve time in prison or want to work in criminal justice system. Enjoyed the parts from the contributor who had served time in a female prison
November 3, 2019
Very interesting and good flow to read
January 31, 2020
Interesting insight into UK prison life (and in particular the grinding frustration of prison bureaucracy), could have been twice as long.
March 9, 2020
Fantastic book - everyone should read this. Lifts the lid on the terrible UK prison system. Enlightening and sobering
February 15, 2021
Essential reading. We need a similar guide for Australia. The existence of prisons need a rethink.
September 11, 2021
10 pages in and you will wonder how the hell we change this prison system.
May 16, 2023
V good insight into what its actually like in uk prisons - v short too
November 22, 2023
3US was more my cup of tea. Opposite of stuck up narration, but the UK prison system is less messed up than the US Prison system. The content wasn’t meaty.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 39 reviews