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And Then They All Died: A Dark Comedy With No Survivors
Thomas loses his wallet, and his day kind of goes down hill from there. Only one thing's for sure: he and his friends won't survive this story. The Institute for Higher Specious Reasoning, the mime mafia's code of silence, the true nature of the human soul, and what to do when an alpaca spits on you - all in And Then They All Died: A Dark Comedy With No Survivors, another madcap comedy adventure from Andrew Stanek.
- GenresHumor
279 pages, Kindle Edition
First published August 2, 2018
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71 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 13 of 13 reviews
July 2, 2019
And Then They All Died by Andrew Stanek is accurately described in its subtitle, A Dark Comedy With No Survivors. Published in 2018 with 280 pages in thirty-six chapters plus the only horoscope you will ever need, this book is a free read through Kindle Unlimited or for sale at USD 0.99. The story is not a novel I would read with Kindle Unlimited because I want to keep the book. One of the few books I will look for in paperback, it is a keeper. For fans of humor, extreme humor, dark humor, and unbelievable depths reached with its puns, this book is a gold mine (there is also abundant use of clichés). It is an excellent example of collected snark. The novel is either howling-out-loud funny or a hard look at the warped mind of Andrew Stanek. I voted option A.
I found no trigger warnings necessary for the book, but there is one for this review. For the strict Grammar Nazis out there, I purposely butcher grammar rules and conventions to make a point. It amuses me. I am not quite as bad as the following writing indicates.
Even the Table of Contents for this novel is funny on the surface. Somehow you know that Chapter 7: The Complete List of Even Numbers is not going to be a complete list. You can only hope not. Chapter 18: Walt Disney’s Uncensored Testimony Before the House Un-American Activities Committee is not really about Uncle Walt. This pattern goes beyond just examining the list that is the Table of Contents on its surface. Here is an item of interest I will claim to be accurate, and I maintain is not a spoiler. The chapter titles have nothing to do with what is in the chapter. That takes care of the beginning of each chapter.
Let’s move on to the end of each chapter. Again, I claim this comment is not a spoiler. Each chapter ends with the same line. “And then they all died.” (ref. = the end of any chapter). What takes place between the irrelevant chapter title and the absolute, unequivocal last line of each chapter? A lot of fun, laughs, horrible puns, snark, and twists on overused clichés repeated again over and over. Unbelievable characters abound to exaggerate all that is extreme in friends you love to hate.
All actions (and sometimes inactions) revolve around Thomas Norm Truman. There is no better way to describe Thomas and this story than with this quote from Chapter One. “Today was the day that the whole world and everything in it, including lions and tigers, the birds and the bees, cops and robbers, the boy scouts and the AARP, even dogs, cats, and some of the more pioneering snails, would try to kill him. Even I want him dead, and I’m the narrator. Later in the day, Thomas would meet up with some of his friends and face this challenge together. And then they all died.” (Kindle loc 79).
Notice that last line. You will see it about thirty-six more times. Also, note the line “I’m the narrator.” There is more than one external narrator because as the novel progresses, the reader will note that aside from the definitive last line of each chapter, the same core characters keep showing up in succeeding chapters. The surprise calls for a replacement of the external narrator based on reader expressions of disappointment in outside narrators who don’t keep their promise. Readers should never fear, though. There will always be an external narrator to look after reader interest and break into the storyline with asides at inopportune moments.
The entire story revolves around attempts by Thomas to recover his wallet, one stolen from him by a pickpocket. To do this, Thomas will enlist the help of several friends such as Mal Nox, a sociopath who has formed his own customer service representative business. Mal lives to handle complaints from anyone about anything. Some of his advice might not be the best such as when he advised a person with a Pacemaker device to reboot it. Clients who expired shielded Max from lawsuits. If Max were ever sued, another friend from this happy crew, a lawyer, Kevin Kyle Atlaw, would help. Kevin suffered from undisclosed narcolepsy, but despite this in his role as a criminal and civil defense lawyer, Kevin had an unbroken conviction record.
The trio lives in the city of Big Mistake, Oregon, where politics are illegal. There is a zero-tolerance city policy, and practicing politics is punishable by death. The regulation makes elections of officials impossible, so a Texas Instruments pocket calculator runs the city. The calculator divided the city into boroughs, one of which is Big Bones. Inhabited by the most massive people anywhere in the US the TI calculator instituted a ban on bacon as a corrective measure. Possessing bacon is punishable by death. The city has other boroughs such as Big Mistake, the district for all schools. Big Mistake is the home of the Big Mistake Institute for Higher Specious Reasoning. From there developed the idea that there was no reason to educate students and they were on their own. The policy produced a high number of street poets which caused the Calculator to ban poetry. Big Ideas prohibited poetry on penalty of death.
Big Mistake’s Financial Section is known as Big Money. Formerly “The largest private employers in the city were organ markets, orphanages, and gravediggers.” (Kindle loc 774). But Big Money recovered somewhat and found its way. “It’s now at the cutting edge of the new high tech boom, pioneering innovative ideas, like the catapult-launched bible, for salvation on the go; the explosive refrigerator, to destroy all your bacon before the authorities find it; the disposable house, for temporary residences; speaking lessons for mimes, to help the shy find their voice; and edible machine guns, for the hungry soldier.” (Kindle location 779).
Finally, there is “Big Mistake’s downtrodden, rough slum district, Big Shame. Many of the people in Big Shame are so poor that they’re forced to use live alpacas for housing, shelter, and grief counseling.” (Kindle location 789). Later, the narrator will “discuss the other boroughs, like Big Game, Big Lie, Big Hurt, Big Alpaca, Cancer-Upon-Racism, and the state of Idaho as they become relevant.” (Kindle location 799).
All items described above are in the first six chapters. The only difficulty in getting through this novel is getting past the paroxysms of laughter. The book deserves five Amazon stars even though it is not a page-turner. I find humor this dark, extreme, and culture referenced cannot be read all at once. I will look for more novels by Andrew Stanek.
I found no trigger warnings necessary for the book, but there is one for this review. For the strict Grammar Nazis out there, I purposely butcher grammar rules and conventions to make a point. It amuses me. I am not quite as bad as the following writing indicates.
Even the Table of Contents for this novel is funny on the surface. Somehow you know that Chapter 7: The Complete List of Even Numbers is not going to be a complete list. You can only hope not. Chapter 18: Walt Disney’s Uncensored Testimony Before the House Un-American Activities Committee is not really about Uncle Walt. This pattern goes beyond just examining the list that is the Table of Contents on its surface. Here is an item of interest I will claim to be accurate, and I maintain is not a spoiler. The chapter titles have nothing to do with what is in the chapter. That takes care of the beginning of each chapter.
Let’s move on to the end of each chapter. Again, I claim this comment is not a spoiler. Each chapter ends with the same line. “And then they all died.” (ref. = the end of any chapter). What takes place between the irrelevant chapter title and the absolute, unequivocal last line of each chapter? A lot of fun, laughs, horrible puns, snark, and twists on overused clichés repeated again over and over. Unbelievable characters abound to exaggerate all that is extreme in friends you love to hate.
All actions (and sometimes inactions) revolve around Thomas Norm Truman. There is no better way to describe Thomas and this story than with this quote from Chapter One. “Today was the day that the whole world and everything in it, including lions and tigers, the birds and the bees, cops and robbers, the boy scouts and the AARP, even dogs, cats, and some of the more pioneering snails, would try to kill him. Even I want him dead, and I’m the narrator. Later in the day, Thomas would meet up with some of his friends and face this challenge together. And then they all died.” (Kindle loc 79).
Notice that last line. You will see it about thirty-six more times. Also, note the line “I’m the narrator.” There is more than one external narrator because as the novel progresses, the reader will note that aside from the definitive last line of each chapter, the same core characters keep showing up in succeeding chapters. The surprise calls for a replacement of the external narrator based on reader expressions of disappointment in outside narrators who don’t keep their promise. Readers should never fear, though. There will always be an external narrator to look after reader interest and break into the storyline with asides at inopportune moments.
The entire story revolves around attempts by Thomas to recover his wallet, one stolen from him by a pickpocket. To do this, Thomas will enlist the help of several friends such as Mal Nox, a sociopath who has formed his own customer service representative business. Mal lives to handle complaints from anyone about anything. Some of his advice might not be the best such as when he advised a person with a Pacemaker device to reboot it. Clients who expired shielded Max from lawsuits. If Max were ever sued, another friend from this happy crew, a lawyer, Kevin Kyle Atlaw, would help. Kevin suffered from undisclosed narcolepsy, but despite this in his role as a criminal and civil defense lawyer, Kevin had an unbroken conviction record.
The trio lives in the city of Big Mistake, Oregon, where politics are illegal. There is a zero-tolerance city policy, and practicing politics is punishable by death. The regulation makes elections of officials impossible, so a Texas Instruments pocket calculator runs the city. The calculator divided the city into boroughs, one of which is Big Bones. Inhabited by the most massive people anywhere in the US the TI calculator instituted a ban on bacon as a corrective measure. Possessing bacon is punishable by death. The city has other boroughs such as Big Mistake, the district for all schools. Big Mistake is the home of the Big Mistake Institute for Higher Specious Reasoning. From there developed the idea that there was no reason to educate students and they were on their own. The policy produced a high number of street poets which caused the Calculator to ban poetry. Big Ideas prohibited poetry on penalty of death.
Big Mistake’s Financial Section is known as Big Money. Formerly “The largest private employers in the city were organ markets, orphanages, and gravediggers.” (Kindle loc 774). But Big Money recovered somewhat and found its way. “It’s now at the cutting edge of the new high tech boom, pioneering innovative ideas, like the catapult-launched bible, for salvation on the go; the explosive refrigerator, to destroy all your bacon before the authorities find it; the disposable house, for temporary residences; speaking lessons for mimes, to help the shy find their voice; and edible machine guns, for the hungry soldier.” (Kindle location 779).
Finally, there is “Big Mistake’s downtrodden, rough slum district, Big Shame. Many of the people in Big Shame are so poor that they’re forced to use live alpacas for housing, shelter, and grief counseling.” (Kindle location 789). Later, the narrator will “discuss the other boroughs, like Big Game, Big Lie, Big Hurt, Big Alpaca, Cancer-Upon-Racism, and the state of Idaho as they become relevant.” (Kindle location 799).
All items described above are in the first six chapters. The only difficulty in getting through this novel is getting past the paroxysms of laughter. The book deserves five Amazon stars even though it is not a page-turner. I find humor this dark, extreme, and culture referenced cannot be read all at once. I will look for more novels by Andrew Stanek.
March 14, 2021
Ok, you know that feeling when someone scratches that itch on your back you haven't been able to reach? Thats how this book starts. "Oh. Oh yeah, that's the spot." This book has a Douglas Adams absurdity to it. Hints of Monty Python.
Read further into the book and its like the wonderful back scratcher branched out and preemptively attacked the itches you weren't even aware you needed scratching. Pure bliss! Terry Pratchett's biting satire is being throw in! Have I just found a new favorite writer?
But
Your wonderful back scratcher keeps scratching. If some is good, more is better, right? More nail pressure, another hand. The therapeutic aspect has ended, now you're just receiving an abrasive scrub that has gone on for too long.
Douglas Adams has become Dave Barry: just keep piling on the same jokes. Terry Pratchett was replaced by his ghost writer. The author doesn't yet have the patience shown by the more mature authors to let a concept marinate. Python has become Saturday Night Live, the jokes become forced, stilted, and stale.
However
Just before you tell the back scratcher to stop, nails become the fingertips and palm. Scratching gives way to a nice gentle rundown before a couple light pats before you both continue on with your day.
All in all, I had fun reading this book. I had to take a rest in the middle when things got so over the top we went back to the bottom, but we finished back on a high note.
If the beginning hadn't struck such a chord in me, I may have rated this a 3 because of the middle, but it made such an overwhelming impression that, while reading the first half, I had to tell others about this crazy book. If I'm compelled to do this, the book gets the good rating.
Read further into the book and its like the wonderful back scratcher branched out and preemptively attacked the itches you weren't even aware you needed scratching. Pure bliss! Terry Pratchett's biting satire is being throw in! Have I just found a new favorite writer?
But
Your wonderful back scratcher keeps scratching. If some is good, more is better, right? More nail pressure, another hand. The therapeutic aspect has ended, now you're just receiving an abrasive scrub that has gone on for too long.
Douglas Adams has become Dave Barry: just keep piling on the same jokes. Terry Pratchett was replaced by his ghost writer. The author doesn't yet have the patience shown by the more mature authors to let a concept marinate. Python has become Saturday Night Live, the jokes become forced, stilted, and stale.
However
Just before you tell the back scratcher to stop, nails become the fingertips and palm. Scratching gives way to a nice gentle rundown before a couple light pats before you both continue on with your day.
All in all, I had fun reading this book. I had to take a rest in the middle when things got so over the top we went back to the bottom, but we finished back on a high note.
If the beginning hadn't struck such a chord in me, I may have rated this a 3 because of the middle, but it made such an overwhelming impression that, while reading the first half, I had to tell others about this crazy book. If I'm compelled to do this, the book gets the good rating.
October 8, 2019
And then they didn't die.
DNF. The title provided a potentially amusing premise, but the book shoves the title in at the end of EVERY chapter. After three chapters of this and fairly tedious attempts at humor in between I just skipped to the end.
It might not have been so bad if people actually died every time they referenced the title. However since they "subvert" this it just gets old by the second time. I can't even imagine trying to read through the whole thing.
DNF. The title provided a potentially amusing premise, but the book shoves the title in at the end of EVERY chapter. After three chapters of this and fairly tedious attempts at humor in between I just skipped to the end.
It might not have been so bad if people actually died every time they referenced the title. However since they "subvert" this it just gets old by the second time. I can't even imagine trying to read through the whole thing.
October 18, 2018
I guess someone might find this book funny. I did not. I went into it expecting a humorous story, and all I got was page after page of nonsensical drivel. I kept asking myself when they were going to die, so it would all be over. If there is a following for this sort of thing, I guess I will not be part of it. I read a lot, so do not usually waste my time on nonsense like this, End of review. I got this from Library Thing to read and review.
October 23, 2020
I did laugh alot.
Quirky. For the most part the author succeeds in keeping a steady comic pace. That is not easy. It is often absurd, that is just fine! I did laugh quite a bit reading this. One thing I wanted to commend the author on was the fact that he was able to be funny without being vulgar. That is not easy. There is some serious discussions in the book, but do not dominate.
Quirky. For the most part the author succeeds in keeping a steady comic pace. That is not easy. It is often absurd, that is just fine! I did laugh quite a bit reading this. One thing I wanted to commend the author on was the fact that he was able to be funny without being vulgar. That is not easy. There is some serious discussions in the book, but do not dominate.
November 19, 2018
I enjoyed this, it was funny which is an advantage for a dark comedy. Andrew writes a lot, and while an editor would help he's a talented chap and has an odd sense of humour which I enjoy.
I started by reading "you are dead" get a copy I loved it.
I started by reading "you are dead" get a copy I loved it.
November 3, 2019
What is death
Rather jumbled story line. The only constant seems to be getting his wallet back. I liked his other death book better. My favorite takeaway from the story is th observation that while humans did not invent evil we are the only species that has perfected it.
Rather jumbled story line. The only constant seems to be getting his wallet back. I liked his other death book better. My favorite takeaway from the story is th observation that while humans did not invent evil we are the only species that has perfected it.
September 21, 2018
Not worth it
Humorous? No. Pointless, non-sensical drivel? Alas yes. It just didn't get any better or funnier, although I forced myself to read the entire thing.
Humorous? No. Pointless, non-sensical drivel? Alas yes. It just didn't get any better or funnier, although I forced myself to read the entire thing.
November 26, 2018
After a while...
The book just lost it's luster and even though it remained silly throughout, I couldn't stay wit it. It wasn't my kind of story.
The book just lost it's luster and even though it remained silly throughout, I couldn't stay wit it. It wasn't my kind of story.
April 16, 2019
Andrew Stanek does it again with this book, not read 1 of his books without failing to laugh.
March 17, 2021
Cute story but too many inside jokes that you only get if you have read 2 of his other stories.
April 26, 2022
Bollocks
It's bollocks pure bollocks it's one of the most bollocks I've ever read and I've read a lot of books
It's bollocks pure bollocks it's one of the most bollocks I've ever read and I've read a lot of books
August 20, 2024
As with the You are Dead series this was a great book. Stayed up till nearly 3 a.m just so I could finish it. Couldn't put it down even for sleep!
Displaying 1 - 13 of 13 reviews