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Happily: 8 Commitments of Couples Who Laugh, Love & Last
In the beginning, marriage doesn't seem as though it should be all that difficult. But it doesn't take long for trouble to seep in and for bad habits to become entrenched. Before long, many married couples may be wondering when the "worse" part ends and the "better" part starts.
Pastor and author Kevin A. Thompson has good news for the "better" part is always within reach when they practice eight specific commitments to each other. These commitments have the power to solve almost any problem a marriage faces, and to prevent new ones from occurring. With biblical insights and engaging personal stories, Thompson shows couples how to see their marriage as bigger than themselves, avoid both apathy and aggression, release the desire for power, make and maintain peace, endure difficult times, and more. Perfect for newlyweds and for married couples at any stage of life, Happily is the gateway to a more loving, more joy-filled marriage.
Pastor and author Kevin A. Thompson has good news for the "better" part is always within reach when they practice eight specific commitments to each other. These commitments have the power to solve almost any problem a marriage faces, and to prevent new ones from occurring. With biblical insights and engaging personal stories, Thompson shows couples how to see their marriage as bigger than themselves, avoid both apathy and aggression, release the desire for power, make and maintain peace, endure difficult times, and more. Perfect for newlyweds and for married couples at any stage of life, Happily is the gateway to a more loving, more joy-filled marriage.
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Published October 16, 2018
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Displaying 1 - 15 of 15 reviews
February 18, 2019
Okay, so I think I will read anything that Kevin Thompson writes. I can't really describe what I like about his style of writing, but it really works for me. I read his first book, Friends, Partners, and Lovers and I thought it was one of the best books on marriage I had read. Then I read this book, Happily and think that again.
I'm not sure if it's the way he presents the information or what he says or how he says it, but I walk away from these books with a fresh view on marriage and renewed determination to make my marriage the best it can possibly be. I have had other books on marriage do that as well, but these rank at the top of the list for me.
There aren't a lot of anecdotes in the book, but there are a lot of lists and I can resonate with that. This is how it should look, this is how it shouldn't and I can grab a hold of that concrete wisdom better than an abstract principle that I'm not sure how to apply. In many ways, looking back, and based on his conclusion, I think Kevin took the Beatitudes and what we can learn from them and applied it to marriage. Happily Humble Yourselves. Happily Embrace the Hurt and so on. He never comes right out and says that, but his conclusion talks a lot about the Beatitudes and I can see them in these eight commitments.
I was challenged once again to work hard on my marriage, to be willing to do things that seem contradictory to the world's ideas and to recognize that criticism might mean we have a good thing going. I like the idea that marriage is about so much more than me and my spouse, it involves more people, it's success and/or failure affects so many around me, and ultimately it's to be a model of Christ and His church. That's a tall standard to live up to.
"When we know who God is and who we are, we can function within ourselves. The result is humility. When we're humble, we understand our limitations, don't have an inflated view of self, and don't try to control the world." Ouch, there's something to strive for. "Humility causes us to care more about fixing what is wrong than appearing as though everything is all right."
Lots of good thoughts in this book and it's going on my to re-read shelf, well it would if I had a shelf like that, but it's a book I want to come back to fresh insight and renewed vigor to give my marriage everything I have. It will be worth it.
I received this book from Revell and was not required to write a positive review.
I'm not sure if it's the way he presents the information or what he says or how he says it, but I walk away from these books with a fresh view on marriage and renewed determination to make my marriage the best it can possibly be. I have had other books on marriage do that as well, but these rank at the top of the list for me.
There aren't a lot of anecdotes in the book, but there are a lot of lists and I can resonate with that. This is how it should look, this is how it shouldn't and I can grab a hold of that concrete wisdom better than an abstract principle that I'm not sure how to apply. In many ways, looking back, and based on his conclusion, I think Kevin took the Beatitudes and what we can learn from them and applied it to marriage. Happily Humble Yourselves. Happily Embrace the Hurt and so on. He never comes right out and says that, but his conclusion talks a lot about the Beatitudes and I can see them in these eight commitments.
I was challenged once again to work hard on my marriage, to be willing to do things that seem contradictory to the world's ideas and to recognize that criticism might mean we have a good thing going. I like the idea that marriage is about so much more than me and my spouse, it involves more people, it's success and/or failure affects so many around me, and ultimately it's to be a model of Christ and His church. That's a tall standard to live up to.
"When we know who God is and who we are, we can function within ourselves. The result is humility. When we're humble, we understand our limitations, don't have an inflated view of self, and don't try to control the world." Ouch, there's something to strive for. "Humility causes us to care more about fixing what is wrong than appearing as though everything is all right."
Lots of good thoughts in this book and it's going on my to re-read shelf, well it would if I had a shelf like that, but it's a book I want to come back to fresh insight and renewed vigor to give my marriage everything I have. It will be worth it.
I received this book from Revell and was not required to write a positive review.
November 5, 2018
This is a good resource for people wanting to make their marriage the best it can be. It is filled with sound Biblical advice although it’s somewhat meaty in content. I read it straight through as a reviewer and even though I did gain insight from it, I think I would be better served if I go back and study it rather than just ‘read’ it. The text was wordy on some occasions making me feel as if the points were being over emphasized. I believe the points could have been stated in more condensed ways. I enjoyed the personal stories and liked that this was written by a pastor/counselor who had witnessed what didn’t work in marriage. He also uses his marriage as an example of success which added to his authority on the subject. There are discussion questions at the end of each commitment and I believe any couple would benefit from studying this book. Full Review is at my website.
I received this book complimentary from the publisher. I was not required to give a positive review. All of the opinions I have expressed here are my own.
I received this book complimentary from the publisher. I was not required to give a positive review. All of the opinions I have expressed here are my own.
October 28, 2018
While I have read this book and agree with most of what Kevin Thompson says, I have one condition I find missing: joy. And if I missed that part, I stand corrected. We are marked and called as believers within the body of Christ Jesus to put our hope and joy in His person. All other relationships are meaningless unless we find joy and peace within Jesus Christ. He said these words, "As the Father loved Me, I also have loved you; abide in My love. These things I have spoken to you, that My joy may remain in you, and that your joy may be full" (John 15:9, 11, New King James).
And there it is! In a nutshell we are to put all of our being, all of our hope, all our joy onto Jesus who has gone to the Father, who prays non-stop on our behalf, so long as we "remain in Him." I don't think that would be very hard for two Christlike people in a marriage can do. Yes, every marriage will falter, even the best of marriages slip and shake up. One thing I have found in the nine years of marriage to my beautiful wife, Tanya, is that we have far more in common than we have not in common. We laugh, we love, we sing to each other, we pray for one another, and we cry when the other does as well.
There's not one marriage that is perfect; not one. But they can be close to perfect as the Father above is perfect. But I digress. The attention is on Kevin Thompson's work on his book, Happily. Overall, I would say I am delighted that someone has stepped up to the plate to talk about marriage in a good, solid and biblical way. We ought to do this, if not daily, then when we can afford to. He is clear and plain spoken, and i find his advice he gives is as timeless as God's Word, the Bible, is. So, when I say I would definitely tell others about this book, I mean it, positively.
I received a complimentary copy of this book from Revell in the hopes of a fair and honest review of the book. I'm also a little late in posting up this review due to having had gallbladder surgery a bit earlier this month.
And there it is! In a nutshell we are to put all of our being, all of our hope, all our joy onto Jesus who has gone to the Father, who prays non-stop on our behalf, so long as we "remain in Him." I don't think that would be very hard for two Christlike people in a marriage can do. Yes, every marriage will falter, even the best of marriages slip and shake up. One thing I have found in the nine years of marriage to my beautiful wife, Tanya, is that we have far more in common than we have not in common. We laugh, we love, we sing to each other, we pray for one another, and we cry when the other does as well.
There's not one marriage that is perfect; not one. But they can be close to perfect as the Father above is perfect. But I digress. The attention is on Kevin Thompson's work on his book, Happily. Overall, I would say I am delighted that someone has stepped up to the plate to talk about marriage in a good, solid and biblical way. We ought to do this, if not daily, then when we can afford to. He is clear and plain spoken, and i find his advice he gives is as timeless as God's Word, the Bible, is. So, when I say I would definitely tell others about this book, I mean it, positively.
I received a complimentary copy of this book from Revell in the hopes of a fair and honest review of the book. I'm also a little late in posting up this review due to having had gallbladder surgery a bit earlier this month.
October 15, 2018
Author, Kevin A. Thompson, is a pastor. As a pastor, Thompson has witnessed many marriages, divorces and deaths in his more than a decade of service. Given his role, this book leans heavily toward holy references, but I loved that he opened each chapter with a bang, quickly grabbing the reader’s attention and drawing you in.
For instance, Chapter 7 lists several Nobel Peace Prize recipients and other historically significant individuals, and, while each person mentioned holds significant prestige, they have something else in common as well – divorce. Thompson’s point isn’t to show that divorce is inevitable and that we are all headed to that ending, but rather to provide reference that success and accomplishments in one’s life do not translate to success in marriage. Just like one works hard in their occupation, one must work as hard, or harder, in their relationship.
As an athlete and “newly” married person one passage that really stood out to me was on page 103:
Ask a coach, “How’s your team?” and they know how to answer. Ask your co-worker, “How are sales?” and they know how to answer…. But ask someone, “How’s your marriage?” and they will fumble and stumble. Why? Because most people never look at marriage as something that can be improved. From the very beginning, they take a passive approach to their relationship, failing to understand its true nature. They treat it as though it’s out of their control. They pretend like marriage just happens.
This is powerful, because people constantly ask, “how are you doing” or “how’s married life” and I just respond with the typically “fine,” but after reading this I have begun to view these questions from the point-of-view of the team coach or class teacher. Is “fine” truly how it is? Or are “sales” behind? Or has your “team” had a string of losses recently? No passionate coach responds to the question “how’s your team” with a halfhearted “fine” that many of us are used to responding with when asked these questions personally.
There were MANY points made throughout Happily that resonated with me. My marriage of only two years is certainly fresh, but whether you’ve been with your spouse months or even decades, the advice within is seemingly sound.
For the full review visit: https://fortheloveofthepageblog.wordp...
*Disclaimer: A review copy of this book was provided by the publisher. All opinions are my own.
For instance, Chapter 7 lists several Nobel Peace Prize recipients and other historically significant individuals, and, while each person mentioned holds significant prestige, they have something else in common as well – divorce. Thompson’s point isn’t to show that divorce is inevitable and that we are all headed to that ending, but rather to provide reference that success and accomplishments in one’s life do not translate to success in marriage. Just like one works hard in their occupation, one must work as hard, or harder, in their relationship.
As an athlete and “newly” married person one passage that really stood out to me was on page 103:
Ask a coach, “How’s your team?” and they know how to answer. Ask your co-worker, “How are sales?” and they know how to answer…. But ask someone, “How’s your marriage?” and they will fumble and stumble. Why? Because most people never look at marriage as something that can be improved. From the very beginning, they take a passive approach to their relationship, failing to understand its true nature. They treat it as though it’s out of their control. They pretend like marriage just happens.
This is powerful, because people constantly ask, “how are you doing” or “how’s married life” and I just respond with the typically “fine,” but after reading this I have begun to view these questions from the point-of-view of the team coach or class teacher. Is “fine” truly how it is? Or are “sales” behind? Or has your “team” had a string of losses recently? No passionate coach responds to the question “how’s your team” with a halfhearted “fine” that many of us are used to responding with when asked these questions personally.
There were MANY points made throughout Happily that resonated with me. My marriage of only two years is certainly fresh, but whether you’ve been with your spouse months or even decades, the advice within is seemingly sound.
For the full review visit: https://fortheloveofthepageblog.wordp...
*Disclaimer: A review copy of this book was provided by the publisher. All opinions are my own.
October 30, 2018
Thanks to Revell, a division of Baker Publishing Group, for sending me this book to review. I give this book 3.5 stars. It is a book about marriage and what needs to be done in order to work on marriage to keep it together. I really enjoyed the beginning of the book as I felt much of the material about marriage was applicable to my life and actually many of the topics could be used in regard to friendships too. Each chapter is a specific topic and then followed by questions at the end of the chapter to think about and journal on by yourself or with your spouse. For example, Happily Embrace the Hurt chapter is about just that- marriage isn't always fun, love, happiness. There will be some hurt involved.
pg 56- One of the guarantees of love is loss.
pg 57- To say "I do" is not only vowing to love but agreeing to hurt.
The answer to this "hurt" is "appreciation". He feels appreciation is vital aspect of marital satisfaction.
I started to not be in total agreement within the last chapter or two. I have friends and colleagues that are men and I never think twice about talking to them, hanging out with them and not having my husband present. The author wrote in regard to "practicing the commitment" ... pg 178 " For example, we won't eat alone with a person of the opposite sex, we won't ride along in a car with a person of the opposite sex, we will share passwords on social media accounts." These "rules" are his and his wife's, but it just made me think there is a lack of trust if you have to have these types of rules. Not the way I would choose to be committed to my marriage. Really some good points just the ending was a little not "Me".
pg 56- One of the guarantees of love is loss.
pg 57- To say "I do" is not only vowing to love but agreeing to hurt.
The answer to this "hurt" is "appreciation". He feels appreciation is vital aspect of marital satisfaction.
I started to not be in total agreement within the last chapter or two. I have friends and colleagues that are men and I never think twice about talking to them, hanging out with them and not having my husband present. The author wrote in regard to "practicing the commitment" ... pg 178 " For example, we won't eat alone with a person of the opposite sex, we won't ride along in a car with a person of the opposite sex, we will share passwords on social media accounts." These "rules" are his and his wife's, but it just made me think there is a lack of trust if you have to have these types of rules. Not the way I would choose to be committed to my marriage. Really some good points just the ending was a little not "Me".
October 12, 2018
Humble yourselves, embrace the hurt, avoid both apathy and aggression, see marriage as bigger than you, refuse power struggles, live in truth, make peace, and endure whatever may come....these are the eight rules that the author tells us we should live by to thrive in a happy marriage. The book is broken into these eight sections, and he talks about what each of these rules entails, as well as addresses some misconceptions about each. Each rule comes with 'action steps,' ways to put the rule into intentional practice, for you to see it in daily life. At the end of each chapter, there are also questions for evaluating your own relationship for that particular rule. This would be a good book for those considering marriage, or newlyweds, but also has a lot to offer to couples who have been together for some time.
October 16, 2018
Happily: 8 Commitments of Couples Who Laugh, Love, and Last by Kevin A. Thompson is a marriage book that talks about facing life and marriage in a happy way. happily. The book discusses humility, embracing hurt, avoiding apathy and aggression, seeing marriage as bigger than yourself, refusing power struggles, living in truth, making peace, and enduring whatever will come.
Thompson shares practical advice. He is a pastor who officiates many weddings and counsels couples, so it is interesting to see his perspective on love and marriage. When reading books about marriage, it is easy to either like or dislike the book, and Happily is one that I definitely like! The book has a lot of specific ideas for enhancing communication in marriage. I like how Thompson discusses that we do not feel mercy, but rather “do mercy.”
I received this book for review.
Thompson shares practical advice. He is a pastor who officiates many weddings and counsels couples, so it is interesting to see his perspective on love and marriage. When reading books about marriage, it is easy to either like or dislike the book, and Happily is one that I definitely like! The book has a lot of specific ideas for enhancing communication in marriage. I like how Thompson discusses that we do not feel mercy, but rather “do mercy.”
I received this book for review.
October 28, 2018
I started reading Kevin A Thompson's blog (http://www.kevinathompson.com/) a few months before _Happily_ came out and appreciate his writing, both the substance and the style. He comes across like he is sitting on the other side of the table from me, calmly and thoroughly listening and giving carefully weighted advice.
I love the way the chapter titles give a succinct, memorable call to action and set up husbands and wives to have hope for actual happiness in their lives...
*Happily Humble Yourselves
*Happily Embrace the Hurt
*Happily Avoid Both Apathy and Aggression
*Happily See Marriage as Bigger Than You
*Happily Refuse Power Struggles
*Happily Live in Truth
*Happily Make Peace
*Happily Endure Whatever May Come
I am glad this advice is written out. I will be able to come back to it many times during the rest of my married life, and am glad to commend it to others.
I love the way the chapter titles give a succinct, memorable call to action and set up husbands and wives to have hope for actual happiness in their lives...
*Happily Humble Yourselves
*Happily Embrace the Hurt
*Happily Avoid Both Apathy and Aggression
*Happily See Marriage as Bigger Than You
*Happily Refuse Power Struggles
*Happily Live in Truth
*Happily Make Peace
*Happily Endure Whatever May Come
I am glad this advice is written out. I will be able to come back to it many times during the rest of my married life, and am glad to commend it to others.
November 27, 2018
Still reading this as I don't want to rush, but so far it is written very well! I am getting much out of this!
February 6, 2020
Very very basic. Wasn’t captivating and I didn’t pause to think while I read it. Which isn’t a good thing when I am reading a book to learn.
July 14, 2021
This is such a great and useful book/tool! Read it, reflect on it, study it, use the knowledge that you gain from it, about yourself.
November 16, 2021
Great thoughts on marriage in the 21st century. Kevin gives practical tips on how to keep joy, and sustainability in ones marriage.
January 27, 2022
S1V1L1
November 6, 2018
"Happily: 8 Commitments of Couples Who Laugh, Love & Last" is an inspiring and refreshing book on marriage. This book is about 8 specific commitments that couples need to make in marriage to make it better. All couples know that in order to make their marriage great, they must work on it together. This book is one that helps you look at 8 specific commitments to make your marriage better. Each chapter outlines a specific topic followed by a series of questions that is perfect for quiet time with your spouse.
Anyone who is looking for their marriage to grow and succeed, I highly encourage you to pick up a copy of this book and read it, with your spouse. It will help you grow in areas you didn't know you needed.
Anyone who is looking for their marriage to grow and succeed, I highly encourage you to pick up a copy of this book and read it, with your spouse. It will help you grow in areas you didn't know you needed.
October 30, 2018
This book was very inspiring, refreshing and compelling to read with that also had a best topic interesting choice story it will keep you running to the end of the last pages. As we know life is hard, married even harder either you are husband or wife for being couple and have a happy married life with love and this book will give you a greatest guiding you through that. I highly recommend to everyone must to read this book. “ I received complimentary a copy of this book from Revell Reads for this review”.
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