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Mom Up: Thriving with Grace in the Chaos of Motherhood
Every mom can identify with the feeling that they’re in a race to the finish line every day, stumbling over everything in their path—including Legos and dirty laundry!
Kara-Kae James knows how overwhelming motherhood can be. As she writes, “When we come to the place where we think that we have failed—this is the moment when God’s Word and motherhood intersect.”
In Mom Up, James shares four themes that impact how she follows Jesus and parents her intentional motherhood, genuine community, refreshing rest, and embracing chaos. With practical ideas for building relationships with other moms, grace-filled Scripture reminders, and a healthy dose of humor, Mom Up helps readers step out of survival mode and into the abundant life God has for them and their family.
Kara-Kae James knows how overwhelming motherhood can be. As she writes, “When we come to the place where we think that we have failed—this is the moment when God’s Word and motherhood intersect.”
In Mom Up, James shares four themes that impact how she follows Jesus and parents her intentional motherhood, genuine community, refreshing rest, and embracing chaos. With practical ideas for building relationships with other moms, grace-filled Scripture reminders, and a healthy dose of humor, Mom Up helps readers step out of survival mode and into the abundant life God has for them and their family.
224 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 2019
84 people are currently reading
1013 people want to read
About the author
Kara-Kae James
8 books24 followersKara-Kae James is the founder and executive director of Thrive Moms, a ministry dedicated to empowering moms. She and her husband, Brook, have four children and live in Texas. They are passionate about adoption and creatively reaching people for Jesus.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 70 reviews
January 27, 2020
This is one of the worst books I have read in a long time. To begin with the writing is confused, rambles, and is often contradictory with a little bit of hand waving to cover the contradictions. The style is condescending and self-promoting. I'll try to be specific because these things matter a lot, sometimes they mean the difference between a person keeping their faith or even their lives. Depression and Anxiety are real problems and if someone with those issues read this I am afraid the message could be severely damaging (actually, I don't see how it wouldn't be).
I thought the title was metaphorical. Like, take a shaming statement "man up" and make it into an encouraging thing "moms being lifted up," something like that. No, it literally just means take the man shaming thing and make it apply to women. The entire first section describes some frighteningly dark emotional and mental issues. Depression, anxiety attacks from daily life, screaming at toddlers when they make messes, etc. Rather than make any mention of counseling, seeing a doctor, or even learning skills to cope with the manifestation of chemical imbalances, the author just tells you to "Mom up" and quit "surviving," just "choose to believe Jesus" and thrive instead. Actually, she does mention seeing a therapist (except using the term "shrink"), and then says she doesn't remember anything from those sessions, she really just needed to realize how her issues were just pride so she could choose to not be prideful and stop being a perfectionist.
She includes a handy chart where she lists all the things related to "surviving," compared to her definition of "thriving." The Surviving column has sadness, anxiety, poor choices, etc. The opposite column has a trait which may or may not be opposite (for example, joy is not always the opposite of depression, but on the chart they are opposites), along with a little verse as proof. Many of these verses seemed taken out of context. She says that Jesus died for the express purpose of saving you from "surviving." Then to drive the point home even further, she says that if you are exhibiting the survival traits, you are, quite literally, a "substandard Christian," and the stress of motherhood is no excuse for that.
Choosing is a theme. Choose to enjoy your life (Choose joy!). Choose to not be anxious (there's a whole chapter about how fear is a sin). Choose to not be depressed. Choose to not have any baggage anymore. And the way we do all these things according to this book? You know, we just choose to believe God and we choose to pray them away. There is zero discussion or encouragement that God has given us tools like counseling and medication and learned behaviors, nothing, and she talks about a lot of things that always need this kind of intervention (like adoption of emotionally abused teenagers, for example).
Then there are the boundary issues. She has an entire section on community. Which sounds great, except her definition of acceptable friendships is people with "refrigerator rights" who are totally enmeshed with your life. Of course, if you don't have friends like that, you just need to choose to make it happen. "Do the work." Like everything else, the implication is that it's your own fault if your life doesn't measure up. Her chapter on marriage is even more egregious. She tells you that your marriage is your top priority, that your job towards your husband is to keep him flattered (I mean, of course, "appreciated."). Date nights? Your job. Bringing him snacks and watching what he wants on TV if he's in a bad mood? Totally your job. Excusing his bad moods because he works so hard? Your job. There is no mention of mutuality in this process, and definitely no acknowledgement of the possibility of being abused emotionally or taken advantage of.
One of the other things that bothered me a lot (and I can't write a review that includes them all, it would be too long- you can read my notes if you want) was the heavy dose of "look-at-me" ism by the author and her encouragement to flaunt your own self and promote her while you do so. While there is a small section on seeking to "serve, not be seen," there are far more mentions of how she celebrated herself on social media. There are instructions to take pictures of your accomplishments (bring a friend a coffee!), post it to social media, and hashtag her book. Then she says not to compare ourselves to others. But show off on Twitter later, ok?
Now, that being said, there were some decent points. Your children are individuals, and not your property. Spiritual strength and significance does not fall to men. It is important to recognize when things are out of control and take steps to make sure they don't stay that way (but not by just praying the problems away). Those points were few and far between. And they are far from unique to this book, so it is easy to learn them elsewhere, from someone without a prosperity gospel to sell.
I thought the title was metaphorical. Like, take a shaming statement "man up" and make it into an encouraging thing "moms being lifted up," something like that. No, it literally just means take the man shaming thing and make it apply to women. The entire first section describes some frighteningly dark emotional and mental issues. Depression, anxiety attacks from daily life, screaming at toddlers when they make messes, etc. Rather than make any mention of counseling, seeing a doctor, or even learning skills to cope with the manifestation of chemical imbalances, the author just tells you to "Mom up" and quit "surviving," just "choose to believe Jesus" and thrive instead. Actually, she does mention seeing a therapist (except using the term "shrink"), and then says she doesn't remember anything from those sessions, she really just needed to realize how her issues were just pride so she could choose to not be prideful and stop being a perfectionist.
She includes a handy chart where she lists all the things related to "surviving," compared to her definition of "thriving." The Surviving column has sadness, anxiety, poor choices, etc. The opposite column has a trait which may or may not be opposite (for example, joy is not always the opposite of depression, but on the chart they are opposites), along with a little verse as proof. Many of these verses seemed taken out of context. She says that Jesus died for the express purpose of saving you from "surviving." Then to drive the point home even further, she says that if you are exhibiting the survival traits, you are, quite literally, a "substandard Christian," and the stress of motherhood is no excuse for that.
Choosing is a theme. Choose to enjoy your life (Choose joy!). Choose to not be anxious (there's a whole chapter about how fear is a sin). Choose to not be depressed. Choose to not have any baggage anymore. And the way we do all these things according to this book? You know, we just choose to believe God and we choose to pray them away. There is zero discussion or encouragement that God has given us tools like counseling and medication and learned behaviors, nothing, and she talks about a lot of things that always need this kind of intervention (like adoption of emotionally abused teenagers, for example).
Then there are the boundary issues. She has an entire section on community. Which sounds great, except her definition of acceptable friendships is people with "refrigerator rights" who are totally enmeshed with your life. Of course, if you don't have friends like that, you just need to choose to make it happen. "Do the work." Like everything else, the implication is that it's your own fault if your life doesn't measure up. Her chapter on marriage is even more egregious. She tells you that your marriage is your top priority, that your job towards your husband is to keep him flattered (I mean, of course, "appreciated."). Date nights? Your job. Bringing him snacks and watching what he wants on TV if he's in a bad mood? Totally your job. Excusing his bad moods because he works so hard? Your job. There is no mention of mutuality in this process, and definitely no acknowledgement of the possibility of being abused emotionally or taken advantage of.
One of the other things that bothered me a lot (and I can't write a review that includes them all, it would be too long- you can read my notes if you want) was the heavy dose of "look-at-me" ism by the author and her encouragement to flaunt your own self and promote her while you do so. While there is a small section on seeking to "serve, not be seen," there are far more mentions of how she celebrated herself on social media. There are instructions to take pictures of your accomplishments (bring a friend a coffee!), post it to social media, and hashtag her book. Then she says not to compare ourselves to others. But show off on Twitter later, ok?
Now, that being said, there were some decent points. Your children are individuals, and not your property. Spiritual strength and significance does not fall to men. It is important to recognize when things are out of control and take steps to make sure they don't stay that way (but not by just praying the problems away). Those points were few and far between. And they are far from unique to this book, so it is easy to learn them elsewhere, from someone without a prosperity gospel to sell.
March 27, 2019
Wow! I seriously love this book! If you loved Girl Wash Your Face or even if you hated it, I highly recommend this book. The inspiration and the inspiration with scriptures was amazing!!
September 14, 2019
This is a great book for moms that are stuck in survival just trying to get through the day/years. While the book is obviously completely written to moms, I (as a dad) think there is a lot that dads can learn from this book that would really benefit your parenting and marriage if you let it spark honest conversations between partners. Definitely a recommend. Plus it’s got short chapters that allow plenty of the stopping points that parents need!
June 15, 2020
I can’t say enough good about this book. For any Christian mom out there, this is a MUST READ. And keep. And reference. And reread.
October 26, 2018
This is a book you want to both savour and gobble up in two days. It is about living out a calling as a Mom in the abundant life God has there, ready and waiting for us and how to get there. Kara-Kae is personal and real about her life, she shares her process of living in survival mode to living an abundant life in Christ. It is unlike any other "parenting" book I have read. The chapters are short, as she has written it for Moms, and, Moms don't have hours of free time to sit and read. I recommend this book to every mommy out there, it has been pure gold for this Momma.
October 26, 2018
Love this book! This is going to be my new baby shower gift. Every Mom, Mama to be, and hopeful Mom NEEDS to read this book. Kara-Kae hit the nail on the head! There were times I thought she might have been a fly on the wall at my house.
January 9, 2019
Amazing book. Full of scripture. Both challenging and encouraging. Perfect for group study or solo. Loved this book so much
April 9, 2023
Absolutely loved this! A must read for every mom!
August 11, 2019
Loved it!
January 1, 2019
I have been a mom for almost 5 1/2 years now and read my fair share of books about motherhood, most of them leaving me feel discouraged or ashamed for the way I have failed as a mom. But then I read Mom Up. Kara-Kae has a beautiful and hilarious style of writing that left me feeling encouraged, empowered, convicted, and expectant for what the Lord can and WILL do through me in my role as a mother. My favorite chapter was 6 because I struggle with my children becoming my identity and the thing I use to show the world my success. The Lord used her words to remind me that the children were never mine to begin with, they are His. My role is not to mold them into little "mes" but to teach them, point them, disciple them, and lead them back to Jesus. It was so refreshing to hear that God made my children exactly the way they are meant to be and I don't need to continuously look for ways to change their flaws. In 2019 I want to embrace the way God designed them and love them intentionally. Kara Kae doesn't just spew out scripture and leave it at that, she gives such practical ideas and tools on how we can live intentionally as children of God ourselves, so that love, peace, and truth can spill over into our mothering. This book is not just for new moms or moms of toddlers, this is for moms at all walks of life and I love that! I have already recommended it to so many women, knowing that it may be just the thing they need to jump into community, unpack the baggage that has prevented them from living in freedom, or to find joy when they are pouring from an empty cup. I am so thankful for this book!
January 1, 2019
If you’re a mama, make this one of the first new books on your list this year! Seriously! It’s soul warming, raw, uplifting, encouraging and good to the very last word. In fact, I’d encourage you to gather some friends and read it together, answer the questions together and just build a better foundation of faith and openness between you all as you journey through motherhood together. Not only will you want to be best friends with Kara-Kae but you’ll be encouraged to be the mom God calls you to be each and every day, through the good, bad and ugly. It’s rare to find a book these days that lifts you up, calls you out and encourages you to rise and shine rather than rise and just survive. We live in a culture that says it’s okay to live in survival mode but Kara-Kae takes it farther and encourages you to do better and Mom Up without any judgement but rather through solidarity and His word. You’re not going to want to miss this!
January 2, 2019
Reading the first few words of Mom Up you are instantly transported into your favorite cozy spot with your best friend sharing a heart & soul journey of motherhood with you. Kara-Kae James shares the highs, lows, & the in-betweens of motherhood beautifully while weaving a tale of God's love & redemption through everyday life. This book is written for moms of all ages in all stages of life. It's not a passive read either: the end of each chapter contains topics for group discussion, individual study questions, & ideas for ways to take action allowing you to apply the book's themes in everyday life.
January 30, 2019
I listened to Mom Up as an audio book. I was a bit skeptical about the title, but it was an encouraging and honest look at the very real challenges of motherhood and the grace of Christ that is greater than those challenges. (Lots of "me too" illustrations.) It's filled with Scripture pointing the reader back to Christ as the source of fulfillment and strength. However, she is definitely writing from the viewpoint of a mom blessed to be a wife with a loving, supportive husband. Some of the comments/assumptions made throughout the book might grate on moms who are struggling on their own or in a difficult marriage.
February 11, 2020
I purchased this book from Amazon to read with my sister. All opinions are my own. 🌟🌟🌟🌟 Mom Up by Kara-Kae James. Motherhood stretches your limits, tests your patience, and leaves you feeling ragged. Some days your schedule is jammed packed and the next all you want is 5 more minutes of sleep before starting over again. This book guides you to jump in and learn to stop and enjoy those jam packed days with a little more patience and less stress. Because let's face it #momminissohard! Review also posted on Instagram @borenbooks, Library Thing, Twitter @jason_stacie, Facebook, Goodreads/StacieBoren, Amazon, and my blog at readsbystacie.com
January 1, 2019
If you are in desperate need of a big cup of encouragement to help you go from surviving to thriving in motherhood, this book is for you. Mom Up will have you nodding your head in agreement as you read every word but what’s wonderful is that Kara Kae doesn’t leave you there in despair, through her words she reaches down into the hole that motherhood has left you in and she yanks you out ready to take on this beautiful gift God has given us. She so beautifully uses scripture and points you to God in ways that will fill your weary mama soul. When you get to the last page you will feel prepared and ready to thrive in the journey of motherhood.
January 1, 2019
“Mom Up” is the perfect gospel-centered book for the new year! It is applicable to all stages of Motherhood and gives gospel hope to the worn out mom who is trying to do it all herself. Kara Kae directs our attention correctly to Christ to align our endeavors with His. “Mom Up” is not a motherhood “how to”, but a reminder of the calling we have to serve our God, our families, and others. It is perfect as an individual read or to go through with a group- there are discussion questions at the end of each chapter!
May 11, 2019
I listened to the audio on Hoopla. It was actually a recommendation on Facebook. I know Facebook is always listening and it's a little creepy, but I'm so glad they thought I needed to read/hear this one! :) It seriously was exactly what I needed to hear. It reminded me of Rachel Hollis' Girl Wash Your Face, but focused on mothering in a Christ centered way and giving yourself grace, like it says, in the midst of crazy Motherhood. Also, to remember that your Children are yours for only a short period of time. I recommend this for all mothers!
May 20, 2019
Yes, yes, yes! I can't describe how much this book lifted me up and inspired me to mom up. I loved every page. This is the perfect book for mothers of all seasons and walks of life. If you feel like motherhood is a warzone and you are in the trenches, then you NEED this book. This book spoke to my soul and I'm sure I will read it again and again to remind myself of what it means to mom up and embrace the chaos with a joyful heart.
December 11, 2019
Kara-Kae's stories were easily relatable with the struggles of motherhood. She goes into how to Thrive in the midst of these struggles and live an abundant life through Christ. Excellent read. Chapters were short and easy to complete daily for those who live a busy schedule. Discussion questions and deeper study at the end of each chapter allowed this book to be great for a group but also for personal growth with God. Highly recommend to any mom!
December 31, 2018
I loved this book! I would be reading and think, me too. Or think, wow, someone else feels that way or did that too. It's a real eye opener as a mom to the things we think we are alone in. We are not alone and more people are like us than we realize! Love all the words Kara-Kae has to share and truths she speaks!
January 1, 2019
Uplifting
This book is a great read filled with anecdotes, insights, and lots of scripture. If you are a mom if teenagers, don’t put this book down in the first few chapters. Use those to reflect and remember when your babies were small and you too went through those seasons. Great book for all mothers and soon to be mothers.
This book is a great read filled with anecdotes, insights, and lots of scripture. If you are a mom if teenagers, don’t put this book down in the first few chapters. Use those to reflect and remember when your babies were small and you too went through those seasons. Great book for all mothers and soon to be mothers.
February 2, 2019
What a great read! A solid Truth filled look at motherhood - the good, the bad, the ugly; and how leaning into the Father can help us navigate through it all, and thrive at the same time; what a great reminder! Love the deeper study questions, group discussion, and action points at the end of each chapter!
March 24, 2019
I can't write anything in my review that hasn't already been said about this book. Mom Up is full of helpful scripture to remind us where to go for rest. If nothing else, it helps to know I'm not the only mom in survival mode searching for fulfillment in the wrong place: herself. This book helped me reset my mindset and get back in the game.
September 24, 2019
Loved it! Validates how tough mom life can be, but forces us to stop making excuses and take care of ourselves too. So many lessons learned and has changed the way I see and approach some aspects of my life. Lots of scripture included throughout, which I appreciated, not sure how people who aren’t very religious would take the book.
January 5, 2020
I enjoyed reading this book. I love how she had a good combination of experience and scripture woven through this book. Sometimes it felt like just listening to a friend give advice, which was nice. Her discussion questions at the end of each chapter were helpful for deeper thinking. Overall, I fully enjoyed this book.
November 16, 2020
This was a great , quick, pick-me-up, Mom read. She doesn’t make any radical points but drives home the idea that you shouldn’t live in survival mode, which I have always thought but not dwelled on or fully considered the harms of that mentality in the baby/toddler years. It’s a good call to action and a refreshing read for a weary mom.
April 8, 2021
I really enjoyed this book! I love how the author relates a lot of scripture in the Bible to stories about motherhood. Her main focus remains the same: as long as our focus is on our heavenly Father, HE will help sustain us through motherhood. With the help of our God, we can "Mom Up!" and live in intentional motherhood.
May 31, 2022
I was looking for some of the supporting messages included in this book, but it has a high religious component that I don't simpathize with.
This is a really good book for religious moms. There are some thoughts such as "serve your husband" that do not resonate with me and my believes. It has nice messages, reasuring all moms have struggles, and how to trust Gods plans.
This is a really good book for religious moms. There are some thoughts such as "serve your husband" that do not resonate with me and my believes. It has nice messages, reasuring all moms have struggles, and how to trust Gods plans.
January 10, 2023
This is just what I needed in this season of life! Mother of an ADHD son- add in twins in the last year- BONUS three kids!! Life is tough. The author reminds that we need to find joy in the chaos. Trust the Lord!!
Great opportunity for group discussion & Bible Study! Will go back & re-read to do this :)
Great opportunity for group discussion & Bible Study! Will go back & re-read to do this :)
January 8, 2024
Why man up when you can Mom Up?
Finding peace in the chaos of life is so important. I found this book at the right time as I'm navigating my daughter having cancer, my husband being a cancer survivor, and my own health slowly slipping down the drain.
The author fills this book with the Word and an inspired message for moms in any stage of motherhood.
Fantastic book!
Finding peace in the chaos of life is so important. I found this book at the right time as I'm navigating my daughter having cancer, my husband being a cancer survivor, and my own health slowly slipping down the drain.
The author fills this book with the Word and an inspired message for moms in any stage of motherhood.
Fantastic book!
Displaying 1 - 30 of 70 reviews