The Beginning

Jessica Christ #1

by H. Claire Taylor

Having a daughter changes things. Even for God.

Jessica McCloud is God’s only begotten daughter, and she’s not super thrilled about that. Sure, she can smite and she knows juicy gossip about folks in her tiny West Texas town, but that’s about where the perks stop. Because add an overbearing Father and a handsome shyster with a knack for founding churches to the already tricky mix of girlhood and puberty, and you’ve got yourself a recipe for ultimate humiliation.

After a close call with a demon, Jessica decides that developing her ability to tell good from evil could be an especially useful survival skill for a messiah. But hopefully that can wait until, oh, high school? In the meantime, she must contend with twin bullies, abstinence-based sex education, and intense menstrual cramping (followed by lightning storms), meaning Jessica has a few things to clear off her plate before she can worry about any nonsense with the Devil.

Feel like the world's gone crazy? You're not alone. The Beginning is the first book in an epic satire series with unforgettable characters and the fresh take on politics, religion, and feminism that you've been waiting for.

Genres: Fiction, Humor, Ebooks

312 pages, Paperback

Published October 5, 2016

About the author

Reader, PMS survivor, Texan, satirist, author of the Jessica Christ series and the Kilhaven Police series, podcaster, blogger and oversharer.

Send me book recommendations for humor, psychology/sociology (criminal is the most fun), indie publishing, artificial intelligence (not too technical; I'm an English major FFS), or marketing. Bonus points if you recommend something that's all of the above.

I read fantasy, sci-fi, and lit fic unless someone pushes it on me, at which point I rebel and make sure to never read that title. I don't understand it either.

Reviews

[Montzalee Wittmann · Rating 4 out of 5]

Love Jessica and her mom!

The Beginning (Jessica Christ ) is a fun book that kept me in giggles throughout the book. A religious con man, a feisty woman, a girl that is the second child of God, God like you've never known him, and a host of school characters. This is such a fun story about the relationship between mother and daughter, God and daughter, and God's daughter trying to survive in the world.

[Laura Martone · Rating 5 out of 5]

As a lifelong fan of irreverent comedy, I'm not surprised to have loved The Beginning, which takes a wry, clever look at what would happen if God begot another child - this time, Lord help himself, a girl. And although I'll admit to having received this novel as an advance review copy, I'm being entirely honest when I say that I absolutely adore this story.

Jessica McCloud (or Jessica Christ, if you dare) is a wonderful character - smart, intuitive, compassionate, funny, and extremely likable. How could you not feel for the daughter of God - and all that such a responsibility (at times unwanted) entails, especially with God himself shouting annoying opinions and hilarious exclamations (like "OH FOR THE LOVE OF ME") in the poor child's head? No wonder she's forced to make decisions that most little girls don't have to make. For instance, "Ever since," the author writes, "she first realized that Christmas and all the insanity that went along with it was actually a celebration of her half-brother's birthday, she'd made a concerted effort to keep the date of her nativity under wraps." And that's just one of many understandable (and chuckle-worthy) decisions that Jessica has to make before her 13th birthday.

I loved every moment of reading this book - and was repeatedly impressed by the author's wit, insight, and ability to make me laugh right out loud. If, like me, you're fond of satirical, irreverent humor, then you don't want to miss this gem, and if, on the other hand, such delicate subject matter makes you nervous, do yourself a favor: Keep an open mind and read it anyway. It's truly a delight - and I, for one, can't wait to read the rest of the series!

[Susan · Rating 4 out of 5]

Completely stumbled across this book (first of a series) by accident on kindle unlimited, and what a pleasant, absurd, slightly blasphemous, funny novel! In a similar vein as Christopher Moore's Lamb or Kevin Smith's film Dogma, the story is about the birth of God's daughter, born to a promiscuous 17 year old in Texas, and her life through junior high. It is funny and girly and there is a ton of profanity and I loved it. I read it pretty much straight through, and have the 2nd 2 already queued up and ready. My library books may have to wait. Off to find out id this is a self published series or just one that needs promotion. Four stars- recommended for friends who won't be offended by religious satire and who have thought Are you Thwre God, it's Me Margaret needed a good spoof that includes smiting.

[Rory M · Rating 5 out of 5]

god, this is so great. everyone with their heads out of their butts need to read this. don't do it in public - the near constant smiling and regularly uncontrollable bursts of laughter will make you look pretty special. my dad was a pastor and i lived in a small town in texas (tyler), so a lot of it hits pretty close to home. it felt like i was reading about people i knew. i struggled with getting through and then recovering from the pedephile part in book 1, but it's not the author's fault. she didn't go too far or anything like that. it's just that any hint of it is tough when you've been there. just putting it out there so it doesn't take you by surprise, like it did me. i'm sure i'll buy more copies to give them to friends - it's that good. seriously, read it.

[KA · Rating 4 out of 5]

I admit I was dubious, but this is truly an exceptionally funny book. Also surprisingly humane; it's interesting what the set-up of God having a daughter reveals about the human condition.

[Charlie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Let me guess: part of you wants to read this book, but you're conflicted. The title got your attention, and the idea sounds funny, but you think it's got to be mean-spirited. Or worse: what if it's not really all that good? Don't get me wrong: Uncle Preacher would not approve of this book, but that doesn't automatically make it GOOD.

Here's the thing: H. Claire Taylor is wicked smart, and she's funny as... heck. If all her writing is like this book, it's no exaggeration to compare her with Mark Twain. She's got a razor-sharp sense of humor, by which I mean she can zero in on what's funny about people without stripping them of their humanity. She pokes fun, but only in a way that makes clear she's also laughing at herself. More importantly, she's written a book with surprising depth. It even has a heapin' helping of mystery.

So go ahead. It really is that good, and it's okay to laugh.

[Arin · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is awesome! What a wonderfully irreverent approach to understanding how God can be a part of your life even when you don't want or expect it! I absolutely love the writing, the characters, especially God as a modern entity who wanders in and out of conversations. There is great theological insight in the book, but even if you don't want to read it that way, it's a fun romp through life in a small southern town where everybody knows everybody else's business. I highly recommend this book to anyone who appreciates humor about religion and seeing things through an alternative lens. I can't wait to begin reading Book 2! Thank you H. Claire Taylor for offering a fresh point of view on stories that are thousands of years old. Seeing God through Jessica is a real pleasure.

[Kimmon · Rating 5 out of 5]

I enjoy fiction books that walk the fine line of respecting religion and making fun of it. Whether the intention or not, it walked that line very well (for me) and I loved it.

Excited to continue the series!

[Richard Andryszewski · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great fun! A female child of God in Texas! Yahoo!

[Laurie · Rating 1 out of 5]

I went into this with an open mind, expecting a comedy. I am not that uptight about religion, but had hoped for God to be along the comedic lines of George Burns in Oh, God or Morgan Freeman in Bruce Almighty. The author made God out to be like the worst possible guy any women would want to date. Spoiler warning.....I mean, God getting excited over Jessica's mother fighting another woman and saying, Cat Fight, don't stop it! That's what made him think she was so hot in first place and chose her to be the mother of his child. This book popped up among the ones amazon pops up on my kindle that I can borrow with my amazon prime and I think they had their staff rate it to get the 5 stars 26 readers gave it to try to sell it. I love a humorous book, and I found nothing funny in these unlikable characters or the plot.

[Beth Peccarelli · Rating 5 out of 5]

I so love this book. It took less than a day to devour it and I did devour. How clever to have the second coming of Christ be a daughter, born to a teenage girl who has been "around the block" a lot. There is a false prophet who becomes the leader of a mega church of made-up religion called the White Light. Then it is all plopped into the west part of Texas. It is funny, definitely irreverent and well worth a good read. I'm onto the next book in the series, if you think the bullies and troubles are bad in grade school for Jessica Christ, just wait until High School.

[NoSanninWa · Rating 5 out of 5]

Religion is always a tricky topic, but this book hits my sweet spot for the subject. I find myself laughing with this book which manages to be both reverent of religion as a concept while being very irreverent about most of the particulars and practices.

I'd recommend that people who cannot laugh at Christianity to give this book a pass, but if you can accept it's foibles, then read carefully because you might bust your gut.

[Jennifer Cole · Rating 5 out of 5]

I am a sucker for great characters, and this author has really outdone herself. Jessica Christ is a bright, complicated young woman wrestling with the normal growing pains of life (up through the beginning of 8th grade) while also coping with being the second child of god. And speaking of Him, he’s pretty freaking awesome too.

This incredible author writes with grace, sarcasm, and incredible wit. I can’t wait to continue the series!

[Anita · Rating 1 out of 5]

I expected something with more class. Could have been done. This is just goofy in a not fun to read fashion.

[Jen August · Rating 5 out of 5]

Such a great, fun and light hearted book! I found myself actually laughing out loud! This book went by so fast and I can’t wait to start the 2nd one!

[Randy Scott · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you’re uptight, straight religious and believe God can’t take a little joking around – this isn’t the book for you. Different, but along the lines of Christopher Moore’s ‘Lamb,’ the hard-core religious will find this offensive and blasphemous. For the rest of us, if you appreciate well-written, first-class sarcasm and a humorous view of God’s plan for humans, you may well enjoy this story. Jessica Christ is an easy read with lots of good laughs and some very insightful philosophy. The plot and pacing kept me reading.

Here in modern times, God decided to have another kid, this time a girl. Told mostly first-person narrative, Jessica is smart, snarky and totally likeable. We follow her life from conception to entering teen-hood.

Jessica grows up with her unwed mother, who is one-half a step above Texas trailer-trash (and we love her!) Having the story take place in Texas adds a whole pile of great characters and colloquialisms.
Even God is a well-written character, though he can be a bit of a weeny at times.Jessica has some communication with her heavenly father, but it’s now what you expect.
God wants Jessica to be more ‘daughter-like’, but Jessica only wants to be normal.

This volume ends when Jessica is 13 years old, on the road to puberty and teenage angst.
I have to get the rest of the series to follow along this journey to see what God had in mind and the way things really turn out. It’s got me hooked. I recommend this to anyone who wants a good laugh.

[Kim Campbell · Rating 4 out of 5]

Jessica is God's Only Begotten Daughter and has a rough road ahead of her. In this first book we follow Jessica from her birth through middle school. Jessica's mom Destinee is hysterical, and God has a few things to learn about daughters. :D Yes Destinee and God are both parents with few boundaries (some of God's discussions with his daughter stray over the line a few times) but they both CARE. Just like everyone growing up, we don't always understand, or agree with our parents but they're doing the best they can! I feel the author underlines that in this book by showing even God has parenting issues! :) As he forges a relationship with his daughter, his daughter learns her role as God's daughter as well as Destinee's daughter. And learns what we all figure out after a while - nope, you cannot choose your family, all you can do is love them.

Yes, it's irreverent, yes it pokes fun at a few spots, but overall I'd say this one is thoughtful! We are God's children, made in his image, so God is perfect? ALWAYS? Nah, nope and while that may rile some, I think most people are open to more than one interpretation of God and in fact might even go along with God's assertion that there were a few translation errors in the bible. :D

In book two her older brother gets involved! Yep! Jess meets her older half-brother Jesus. And goes to high school! I've already got it from the library. Here we gooooo!! :D

[Marty Essen · Rating 5 out of 5]

I’m a sucker for books that make me laugh about religion. I found H. Claire Taylor’s Jessica Christ purely by accident and decided, “what the hell.” I wasn’t disappointed. I liked Taylor’s writing style, laughed out loud many times, and especially enjoyed how she skewered mega-church preachers. That being said, this book wasn’t as sacrilegious as I expected it to be. Instead, Taylor did a good job of pleasing both sides of the issue. There was enough irreverence to satisfy those who aren’t religious, but not so much that it would turn off Christians open-minded enough to appreciate a good laugh at their god’s expense.

I highly recommend Jessica Christ and am looking forward to reading the next books in the series.

Marty Essen, author of:
Endangered Edens: Exploring the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge, Costa Rica, the Everglades, and Puerto Rico
and
Cool Creatures, Hot Planet: Exploring the Seven Continents
Coming in 2018: Time is Irreverent

[Molly · Rating 4 out of 5]

In seminary, this is the kind of story we joked about - but we weren't nearly as funny.

That the second child of God would be a girl, especially one born in a low rent district to a teen mom - just makes all kinds of sense in terms of God reaching out to the disinfranchised.

But the miracle birth being witnessed by a preacher named Jimmie Dean, and God come down to earth in a talking pig, obscene enough to be hilarious, if you have an ascerbic, ironic or tongue in cheek sense of humor.

I received a free copy of this book via Booksprout and am voluntarily leaving a review.

I am tempted to forward a copy to some of my former classmates - and some would find a teen-aged Christ-girl worthy of a great laugh. Especially as the terrible teens, and their temptations are worked through.

The girl repeating to herself "don't smite. Don't smite" trying to control her temper faced with a teen foe is a favorite of mine.

Some would be appalled.

If your faith and beliefs don't allow a sense of the absurd to enter in, you probably won't enjoy this book.

If your relationship to faith lets you find the funny in a teenaged God child, you might enjoy this humorous story, and a few good laughs.

[Bill Krieger · Rating 2 out of 5]

 

This book's premise seems fun. It's the second coming (Second Coming?) of Jesus, but it's actually God's daughter this time, Jessica Christ. So, she is the next savior, and the setting is America in the 21st century. Jessica can talk to God. Her mother, the modern Mary, is kind of trailer park trashy. The book is a humorous satire of this setup. Great!

Problem: The book just isn't funny enough or smart enough to keep me going. I gave up a little more than halfway through. Most of what I'm reading is about Jessica's day-to-day problems in grade school. Getting teased. Where to sit at lunch. Field trips gone awry. There are very few funny or interesting things going on.

QOTD

“Trust me, baby, you’re not going to like the way people react if you tell them you’re”—she glanced around to make sure no one was nearby, then lowered her voice—“the daughter of God.”

“God doesn’t like me denying him.”

Destinee pursed her lips and stood. “Absent daddies don’t get a say in what their daughters do.”

“He’s not absent,” Jess said.

- Jessica Christ and her Mom Destinee

Worth a try. But Not worth a read.
Not a good read. thanks... yow, bill

 

[moxieBK · Rating 4 out of 5]

The Beginning (Jessica Christ #1) — H. Claire Taylor (19 chapters + The Golden Rule) March 20, 2019

OMG! I loved this book. When I got to the end I was so mad that it just ended. I wanted to read more about this character and the supporting characters. It read fast too.

If you believe in a (g)od that is a little more than hip, that admits stupid mistakes and really is an overall loving, fun guy, then this is a book for you. If you are uptight and might see this as as blasphemous, then it’d be best to move along.

For me, who does not necessarily believe in such a being, I found it wildly entertaining. But Jessica Christ was only half the plot. I’m going to need to read the next book, because Im honestly not sure if I got the whole plot of the story, or why I zipped right through it. (It is a very fast read…don’t let the number of chapters shock you.)

It was fun, enjoyable, and entertaining, but because I am left hanging, I need to give this a four star. I hope the remaining book are just as enjoyable.

Four stars.

[Ann · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is a story where a girl named Jesssica was born to a unwed mom who lived in the trailer part. A fake reverend and profit was leaving town once again after being found a fake. Driving down the road he seen a object in the middle of the road. He stopped to see what it was and it was a big old hog talking to him yes I said talking to him. He was told to go to the pregnant ladies home as she was in labor. He said what? I am God you do as I say said the hog. So he did as he was told. God then said that the baby named Jessica Christ was his daughter, No not son , a daughter. So it was the baby was Gods daughter. The reverends real named was Jimmy Dean hence the hog (sausage)God. Enjoy.

[Shannon · Rating 4 out of 5]

Some obvious comparisons here between Lamb by Christopher Moore and this book; they are both pretty funny, both critical of evangelical/fundamentalist Christianity and both starring modern day sons/daughters of God. The Beginning has a decidedly feminist bent, but it's presented pretty naturally from the perspective of a young girl who pretty much just thinks that the world should include people like her in a meaningful way. All in all I like this quite a bit and I'm definitely up to read the rest of the novels in the series if they maintain this level of quality.

[PJ Lea · Rating 4 out of 5]

I liked this book for the humour, it was good to see that God likes a good laugh. Jessica has a mature head on her shoulders, though that's not surprising considering her unconventional upbringing. The preacher is just how I imagine many of them from what I've seen on TV.
Satirical, blasphemous and very funny, not to be taken seriously at all. Jessica's life promises to be eye opening.
*I voluntarily read and reviewed this book that I received free from Reading Deals, my opinions are my own*

[Chelsea · Rating 5 out of 5]

I received a free copy of this book via Booksprout and am voluntarily leaving a review.

A laugh out loud religious satire. I couldn’t stop laughing and yet I spend a good amount of time reflecting on ideas presented in the text as well. With crass humor and realistic situations that ponder the burning questions we have about Jesus’s youth the author presents a wonderful image and a fun piece of speculative fiction. I can’t wait to see what happens in the rest of the series.

[Karen greer · Rating 5 out of 5]

Before I started to read this book I read an email from this author. Her humor was my kind of humor....off the wall crazy but down to earth. A believer or not, this coming of age book will touch you, make you remember, make you laugh and really enjoy this book. I’m going right into the next book in this series. This has got to be one of the best humorous books I have read in a long time. I highly recommend it.

[Lynn · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great fun!!! Not since I read Christopher Moore's "Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal" have I enjoyed such a fine religious spoof. Jessica Christ, God's daughter, is so relatable. Unsure of herself and uncomfortable in her role as the daughter of the Christian god. I so look forward to the subsequent volumes in this series. Most amazing is the author, H. Claire Taylor, lives in Bible Belt Texas all be it the rare liberal enclave of Austin.

[Matt · Rating 4 out of 5]

I wish goodreads had fractional stars. I'd put this at ~3.75. The story was fun (as is the second book) but it's a bit more of a serial than a stand alone book which is my only knock against it.

Good for if you want an easy relaxing read. I'm sure this book could offend someone, but it doesn't have any sort of heavy religious pro or con tones.

[Nikki Elvert · Rating 5 out of 5]

I received a free copy of this book via Booksprout and am voluntarily leaving a review. This book was great! It had me laughing out loud several times. I loved Jessica, and the author did a great job developing her. Such typical reactions yet she was anything but typical. I can't wait to read the next book!

[Laura Ruetz · Rating 5 out of 5]

I found this book to be wholly engaging. It was a fun read, with a totally unique premise. Can you imagine being the daughter of god, and having to go to school? The book really is quirky and fun, which characters that are larger than life but come alive on the page. The author is great at all those little nuances that really bring a character to life.