Growing Forward When You Can't Go Back

by Laurie Pawlik

After life is shattered by loss or a traumatic experience--whether big or small--it can seem impossible to heal or even move on. Deep down you believe God intends good for you, but you just don't have the energy or strength to figure out how to move forward. Author Laurie Pawlik has been there, and here she shares how she flourished despite multiple losses. Through practical tips and thought-provoking questions, she helps you take small yet powerful steps toward healing and letting go. She also offers insights and encouragement from the lives of strong women in the Bible. You'll glimpse the painful losses these women experienced and learn how they flourished despite seasons of hardship and grief. You'll discover how God shows His presence and power in the valleys, deserts, and storms. And you'll feel a fresh sense of hope that, with God, you can redefine yourself, remake your life, and grow forward into a beautiful new season.

196 pages, Kindle Edition

Published January 1, 2019

Reviews

[Camille Eide · Rating 5 out of 5]

I am wishing I'd read this book 40yrs ago. I'm also wishing I had a case to share with every woman I know, because, let's face it, what woman doesn't struggle with hurt/loss/pain of some kind or another, ones that keep us from experiencing full life and joy?

This book gives women critical reminders of where our complete healing and help come from, (not within ourselves if we would just try a little harder...) and also gives practical actions to take that nudge the hurting, grieving, & broken forward, helps us not to linger in hurt, or remain trapped by guilt & shame. I love this book and highly recommend it!

[Janna · Rating 4 out of 5]

Laurie gives a really comprehensive way of dealing with your feelings and finding ways to overcome the challenges in your life. She uses many different females from the bible to help her illustrate her points which is nice to see.

[Alicia Friedrich · Rating 3 out of 5]

A sweet and practical “workbook” for growing into the next season:) my 20 year old self would have benefitted from this read!!

[Julie D. · Rating 5 out of 5]

Have you ever read a book that so perfectly spoke to you right where you are? This book is exactly that for me and I have a feeling it will be for you, too.

Laurie writes this in a way that makes you want to not put it down until you're at the end. Seriously, I read through this book the first time in two days! However, there is so much to be gleaned and to go through, I'm going through the book again to answer the questions and journal through everything.

I absolutely love the blossom tips that she has scattered throughout and how she shares her own story and heart. I learned so much from this book and it's a book that encourages and made me see that leaving the past in the past is what's needed and that there's an ever bright future to look to when we go through our lives with Jesus.

The other thing I really loved was how she brought the stories of the different women of the Bible to life and used their stories to remind us that we aren't so different and to show how God used the difficulties in their lives for good. I found this so encouraging!

This is a wonderful book that will be staying on my book shelf for future reference after I finish it again. I really loved this book and I'm sure you will, too!

*This book was provided to me by Bethany House. I received a copy of this book to review but I was not financially compensated in any way. The opinions expressed are my own and are based on my observations while reading this book.

[Rich Lewis · Rating 5 out of 5]

The book is nicely organized in the following manner. “Every chapter begins with a peek into a difficult loss I or one of my readers have faced. Next, a biblical woman offers a unique, refreshing glimpse into her story, followed by a Blossom Tip for you to explore and weave into your own life.” Each chapter concludes with: Questions for Journaling and Discussion.

Let me share eight little nuggets that caught my attention.

Your Identity

“I began to realize I was basing my identity—and my future—on my sister’s approval and love.”

What do you base your identity on? I think too often we let our families, friends, employers, communities and culture tell us who we are and how we need to act. This is not who we are. We are each unique individuals and loved by God. God wants us to feel free to be our true self: the person Gods wants us to be.

Decisions

“In fact, most of my biggest regrets are the impulsive decisions that I didn’t take to God first!”

I agree! As much as possible, I try to take both small and large decisions to God. God is my daily partner in life. We both need each other. I often consult God for wisdom, patience and understanding. I am the eyes, ears, hands and feet of God. God needs my action in the world.

Retreats

“Today, retreats can give us a chance to reconnect with God, deepen our relationships with others, and even change the direction of our lives.”

I encourage you to take a weekend or even a one day retreat. I have done both and I always walk away enriched by the experience. I have created new relationships with people I previously did not know and I deepen my relationship with God.

Loss and Death

“Loss and death often contain the seeds of new beginnings.”

Loss can be the death of a loved one or friend. Our loved one does not want us to stop our lives. He or she will want us to move forward. Loss can also mean the loss of a job. As difficult as it can be, it might be the door to a new and wonderful opportunity.

Journaling

“It was a fifteen-minute writing exercise that invited us to picture ourselves the way God sees us, and write ourselves a letter from His perspective.”

I once had a spiritual director recommend this to me. In my journal she had be place my name and then write my thoughts to God. Next she had me write God and have God respond to what I had just written. It was a powerful exercise. God always seemed to write from a loving and compassionate posture.

Comfort Zone

“You can’t grow without taking risks, much less blossom into who God wants you to be.”

If you want to grow you must get out of your comfort zone. Clarity comes with action. Each day we need to try something that scares us a little bit. My barometer is that if it excites me and will not harm me or others that I should probably do it.

Silence

“Silence and solitude are wonderful places to hear His voice, but they’re not always available. Practice meeting God in the clamor, noise, and distractions of daily life.”

“But now those distractions remind me that God isn’t just found in stillness. He’s alive and waiting for us in life’s daily noise, distractions, and chaos.”

I practice a form of silent prayer called centering prayer. Centering prayer prepares me for my non silent times. Centering prayer is great practice for living my daily life.

Worry

“There’s no use worrying about the past, present, or future. Fretting wastes your time and energy. Walk through your worries once with Jesus, if you must. Then leave them with Him.”

During centering prayer I let go of all thoughts, emotions and physical sensations. This includes my worries. I leave them with God. I then get up from my sit and resume my day. My worries will not help me to accomplish my daily tasks.

I encourage you to check out this wonderful book.

Rich Lewis
www.SilenceTeaches.com

[Lydia Howe · Rating 3 out of 5]

WHY I CHOOSE THIS BOOK

I don't actually remember why I requested this book. It looks interesting though, and I like learning what helps other people and seeing through the eyes of people who have gone through things I haven't gone through. 

WHAT I THOUGHT ABOUT THIS BOOK

While reading this book it was easy to tell that the author was a blogger. I'm not sure how to describe the style, except that there were several "segments" in each chapter, and quite often those segments reminded me of blog posts or at least snippets of blog posts. I've this done before where it bothers me, but this time I actually found the style made the book easy to read. There were plenty of places where I could set it down and then pick it back up without feeling like the flow was interrupted. This was good for reading whenever I had a few extra minutes. 

The author did a great job of showing that her life wasn't perfect, but without going into a pity party or too much detail regarding what she had faced. I really thought she hit a good balance with that, and it showed that she really has found a healthy way to deal with a lot of bad stuff - growing forward - which is what the book is all about. 

There was a lot of solid information in this book. We got to look at different characters from the Bible and learn from their stories - what they did and didn't do correctly and how people around them were impacted. 

Sadly, there was also some information that I didn't agree with. There were multiple things that I think are okay for someone to do on their own, but it can be dangerous to teach it in a removed setting such as a book. For instance, while talking about a very traumatic experience, the author said that every time it came to mind she would play the "What Then" game with Jesus, where she says what's horrible, and Jesus says "What then?" and they keep going until she's realized that He's with her and she'll be okay. I'm not saying that I think this is wrong, but it felt a little bit sacrilegious how it was written in the book. Which brings me to another part I didn't like: I felt like she made God seem almost too human in the book. Yes, He's our friend. And Yes, He can relate to us. And Yes, He loves us and wants to have a special relationship with us. Yet, at the same time, He is holy and deserves respect, and although I'm pretty sure she didn't mean to bring Him down to our level in a disrespectful way, at times I felt like she did. 

There were a few more things I didn't like or agree with, like this sentence, God created crayons, paints, paper, shapes, textures, and tones - use His handicrafts to talk to Him! I understand the point that the author is trying to make, and I agree with it. But God didn't create crayons and paints and paper, and although it's a little thing when the little things pile up they drop my rating of the book. 

CONCLUSION

Overall, the book has a lot of good information, suggestions, and an easy-to-read style. I would say if you want to read it, go for it! Just read it with an open mind and match what she says against the Bible. :)

RATING

I’m giving Growing Forward 3 out of 5 stars.

((I got this book from Bethany House Publishers so I could review it, all thoughts and opinions are my own.))

[Sophie · Rating 5 out of 5]

How can you recover from devastating circumstances such as divorce, disease, or the death of a loved one? How have women in the Bible transcended their own extraordinary grief and loss? In Growing Forward When You Can't Go Back, Laurie Pawlik answers these questions and offers a holistic path to healing.

When I was first asked to review Growing Forward When You Can't Go Back, I was a little worried. The topic seemed so narrow and I was not experiencing a season of loss at the time; I wondered if I'd be able to relate to the book or if it was the kind of thing that you put on your shelf "for a time of need."

I needn't have worried. Laurie Pawlik has created a beautiful guide to moving forward at any stage in our lives, whether we've experienced traumatic loss or gotten ourselves into a situation that doesn't seem to fit with what we thought God's plans for us were.

In each of the ten chapters of Growing Forward, Pawlik weaves together the story of a Biblical woman with an experience from her own life, including her childhood with a schizophrenic mother, a broken relationship with her sister, and coping with infertility. She shows how God was at work in both stories and what she and the women learned or did that helped them grow forward.

In each chapter, she also offers five actionable "Blossom Tips" designed to help women grow forward one step at a time. Each blossom tip addresses a different part of who we are: spirit, heart, soul, body, and mind. For example, one chapter's spirit blossom tip encourages readers to practice finding Jesus in the chaos of life, not just in peaceful moments of silence and solitude.

It is important to note that one need not have suffered a recent traumatic loss to benefit from the sage advice offered in Growing Forward. Unresolved pain and losses from the past linger in our hearts and spirits until we address them. While looking back can be painful, Pawlik leads us into new ground, taking our broken seeds and letting God use them for something beautiful.

Overall, I feel like Pawlik's book is applicable and helpful to anyone who is interested in experiencing Jesus in a new way and finding hope for their journey.

*I received an advance copy of this book from the author for review. All opinions are my own.

[Katherine Jones · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book came across my desk at a time when so many friends and I are going through seasons of transition. Some of these transitions are good, and natural, and sought after. Others, not so much. All around me, loved ones are dealing with big changes, big losses, big grief.

Enter Laurie Pawlik, creator of the “She Blossoms” blog family. Laurie knows firsthand a thing or two about change and loss and grief. In Growing Forward When You Can’t Go Back she invites us to accompany her on a journey to healing and hope.

I’ve read many books of this ilk in my time, but Laurie��s is different. Her insights are fresh, even when she’s covering familiar ground, as she does when diving into the biblical stories of women such as Sarah and Hagar and Ruth. But Laurie also examines the lives of some under-explored female figures. Eve, for example. I never thought that Eve might have a thing or two to teach me about grief. But Laurie demonstrates that she does, and it’s eye-opening.

Laurie fills her book with a good balance of the inspirational and the practical. While her folksy style isn’t what I normally gravitate to, her practical Blossom Tips truly helped me out of a few spiritual ruts. Several of these Blossom Tips I noted in my journal, and in the weeks since reading Laurie’s book, I’ve referred to them often. Because it is deeply rooted in God’s Word, Growing Forward When You Can’t Go Back has the potential to be not merely informational but transformational.

Thanks to the author and Bethany House Publishers for providing me this book free of charge. All opinions are mine.

[Rebecca Jordan · Rating 5 out of 5]

In Growing Forward, Laurie Pawlik gives women a hand to hold and the guidance to be bold in moving toward wholeness and healing from life’s most difficult circumstances. Many women have dealt with some of the issues she confronts: weakness, change, grief, pain, tragedy, or hopelessness. But Laurie offers more than encouragement and hope. With vulnerability and transparency she walks women through her life, exposing her deep wounds, yet celebrating her amazing victories.

In doing so, Laurie also highlights the lives of ten biblical women, offering us a deeper glimpse into their painful experiences. She combines these women’s encouraging journeys along with examples from her own life and others with practical tips and creative suggestions for women on how to move beyond their own wounds. But she does it in such a way that no woman would feel like she’s been given a “one-size fits all” prescription, but an individualized guide to find hope and healing for herself.

One underlying truth from the Bible (Isaiah 43:19) runs between the lines throughout Laurie’s book: “See, I am doing a new thing!” says the Lord. “Now it springs up, do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.” In Growing Forward, Laurie helps women move forward to find that “new thing” God wants for their lives.

I received a complimentary copy from the publisher but voluntarily chose to write a review.

[Michelle · Rating 5 out of 5]

Growing Forward When You Can’t Go Back is a women’s Christian living book by author Laurie Pawlik. I read an ARC of this book. The publish date is January 1, 2019.

This book features 10 women from the Bible and how they blossom – heart, soul, and mind. The author reveals her own setbacks, disappointments, and the death of an important figure in her life and how she overcame.

My favorite chapter was the one about Sarah. It took Abraham and Sarah years to finally have a child, even to the point of acting ahead of God. It reminds me of when I first started menopause and realizing my days of childbirth are over. As much as I love my boys and couldn’t think of life without them I have also always wanted a daughter. At the onset of menopause, I knew I would not be blessed with a biological daughter, even though the Lord had given me her name years ago, Katrina Nicole. So I keep praying for Katrina Nicole, wherever she may be.

I recommend this book to all women regardless of what season of life they are in.

Disclaimer: I receive complimentary books from various sources, including, publishers, publicists, authors, and/or NetGalley. I am not required to write a positive review and have not received any compensation. The opinions shared here are my own entirely. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255

[Diana · Rating 5 out of 5]

Whether you are hurting, lost or just hoping to move forward Laurie Pawlik will walk you through healing from hurt and loss in her new book Growing Forward When You Can’t Go Back.
I’d not read anything by the author before this book, but she writes in an honest and forthright manner. She weaves personal stories in with nuggets of wisdom and tips to guide us to become a better person.
Each chapter also includes a struggle and lesson from one of the women in the Bible.
“You'll discover how God shows His presence and power in the valleys, deserts, and storms. And you'll feel a fresh sense of hope that, with God, you can redefine yourself, remake your life, and grow forward into a beautiful new season.”
If you are struggling or in a valley, I would highly recommend this book. And if you’re on a mountaintop, I’d recommend stocking up for the next valley or storm.

**I received this book for free from Netgalley in exchange for my honest opinion.

[Leslie McKee · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 stars

Life can throw us some curveballs. Pawlik’s latest aims to help the reader move on after being uprooted by some of life’s changes and challenges.

Each chapter focuses on a different Biblical woman (Eve, Sarah, Hagar, Naomi, Ruth, Martha and Mary, Hannah, Esther, Mary Magdalene, and Mary). Some personal stories are included, as well. Tips and exercises are provided to help illustrate the chapter points and help the reader move forward versus staying trapped. Some examples and stories may be familiar and relatable, as themes such as infertility, loss, and self-image are addressed. Relevant scripture verses are included throughout.

Disclaimer: I received a complimentary copy, but I wasn’t required to leave a positive review.

[Chris Eirschele · Rating 4 out of 5]

Growing Forward When You Can't Go Back by Laurie Pawlik is a friendly comforting resource based on her years of personal and work experience, her "She Blossoms" blog, and her bible study.

Published by Bethany House. There are 196 pages in 10 chapters and notes with Bible verses. Blossom Tips and stories of biblical women and how they dealt with life's challenges are part of each chapter.

Laurie Pawlik, MSW is the creator of "She Blossoms" blog. She has 25 years of teaching, social work and bible study experience. Pawlik has been published in Woman's Day, Reader's Digest, and Women's Health.

Geared toward those who follow Christian bible studies. Growing Forward encourages journaling and offers more information on her blog. Readers will find comfort in this pleasant book.

[Danielle Urban · Rating 5 out of 5]

Growing Forward When You Can't Go Back by Laurie Pawlik is a sensational read. I really enjoyed reading this book. The pages were filled with heartfelt talk and Biblical references in plain English. It wasn't just a quote from a Bible but a rephrased wording of it that made it easy to read and understand. The journey to redefining myself and finding ways to cope with moving forward felt good. Laurie Pawlik has a way of drawing out the positives and showing the reader her own wounds as an example. She too, has felt pain and sorrow. Yet she has built herself up and continued moving into the future. I really recommend this book to all readers, not just women. 

I received this copy from the publisher. This is my voluntary review.

[Kendy Pearson · Rating 5 out of 5]

A delightfully insightful little book that weaves the author’s life experiences with the lessons from women of the Bible. I adore the way Laurie is transparent, raw, and relatable in her writing. Truly inspired, her words will make you laugh and weep. Chapter 7, Reviewing Your Heart With Hannah, took me by the spiritual collar and shook me good. The author’s dreams were not so different from my own. And when she paralleled her own discovery with Hannah of the Bible, my heart leapt with a new joy—a new hope. This wonderful book may be read straight through, digested a bite at a time as a devotional aid, or used in a women’s group. In whatever way God chooses, He will surely use it to change women’s lives. Thank you, Laurie! Five Stars

[victoria · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book had an amazing writing and catching every time when you reading with that also you will find encouraging with full of hope and inspire in every chapter. You will learn how walking through the past that was painful or struggling in yours life that can be apply to your life today and still change situation that seem to be hopeless to be able see a new visions with God’s love and power into you heart and he always had plans that can turned thing out better every time. I highly recommend to everyone must to read this book. “ I received complimentary a copy of this book from Bethany House for this review”.

[Erin Janko · Rating 3 out of 5]

As a concept, a great self-help book based in faith! However, the execution was choppy. The tips in this book by themselves, from a MSW, for women who are recovering from loss and trauma are awesome. This book would be better reorganized and fleshed out into a full-length Bible study.

[Sandy · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very well written. I would have liked to go deeper into Gods word with what she wrote but this was a very good inspirational book.

[Holly · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is simple amazing. It talks about how one can move forward with life even in the face of tragedy. It gives tips on how to over come obstacles. Plus gives us story on how the women of the Bible overcame their issues.

[Sarah · Rating 5 out of 5]

Laurie Pawlik runs a popular blog and tells her difficult stories in this hope-filled book. She has endured so many challenges and tells her stories with honesty and joy.

In each chapter, she applies a beautiful growth metaphor to one of the Bible's famous women. Even though I was familiar with each of these ladies' stories from the Bible, I gained great insight from Laurie's insights into their pain and faith. She also weaves her own stories and stories of other modern women into each chapter, making the flow of words highly engaging.

I love practical theology, because I can take a truth from a book and apply it right away. Each chapter is loaded with practical applications for growing forward in everyday life. This helped me really appreciate this book, because it has lots of helpful tools to help me get over my hangups.

Favorite Quotes from Growing Forward:

Jesus is your kindred spirit. He knows your name just as intimately as He did Mary's. He accepts your feelings, problems, and fears.

Practice meeting God in the clamor, noise and distractions of daily life. Tune your heart so you hear Him above, below, and through the roar. If you can sense the Holy Spirit in the hubbub, you'll see Him anywhere and everywhere.

God uses tragedies to lay the foundations for triumphs--even when we can't see how, why, or where. His endings lead to fresh beginnings; life springs from death.

Thanks goes to Bethany House and Netgalley for providing me a review copy of Growing Forward.

[Amy · Rating 3 out of 5]

Using the stories of women in the Bible as a framework, Pawlik shares her own experiences with loss, asks questions, and provides activities to help you move through your hurt.

I found Pawlik’s take on the stories of the women in the Bible to be new and unique. The retelling of the stories gave me new things to think about, and new ways to view grief and the process of healing.

Each chapter in Growing Forward contains five “blossom tips.” These tips are designed to help you find holistic healing as you read. Each tip is scattered throughout the chapter.

For me, those tips proved to be distracting from the story that the chapter was weaving. I found it more beneficial to skip the tips as I read the chapter, and then going back and reading them once the chapter is finished.

Growing Forward is not a book you’re going to sit down and read in one sitting. You will want to take your time. And to get the most out of it, you may actually want to walk through it with a friend. For accountability and encouragement when it’s hard. And to be able to celebrate the wins as you grow and once again begin to thrive.


I received a copy of this book from the publisher. This review is my own, honest opinion.

[Kristi Woods · Rating 4 out of 5]

I enjoyed Growing Forward When You Can't Go Back. It's a quick read, which is good for shorter attention spans. It intertwined Laurie's personal story--an incredibly hard one--with Bible stories and practical, useful tips. Laurie's journey helps us see that recovery is possible after life throws curve balls.

Would I buy it? Yes. I'm not certain the focus for widows is quite what I'd lean toward, which is why it's 4 vs. 5 stars, but it's definitely worth the investment for those who've face a drastic life change--maybe divorce, healing from a hard childhood, facing a disease or violence.

Keep in mind that I love books and review them from time to time. My copy of Growing Forward When You Can't Go Back was publisher-supplied. And there you have it--my honest opinion.

[Ann · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a very good book. It's not a book that you just read through then forget half of what you read, it's a book that you work through. Each chapter has five Blossom tips to read and work through and Laurie Pawlik has a blog that you can go to so you don't have to go through your battle alone. This is a book that you will read many times, and if you are like me, it will be very marked up when you finish reading it. Thank you Bethany House via NetGalley for the free copy of this book. All opinions expressed in this review are my own. I highly recommend this book.

[Alycia Canfield · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book features 10 women from the Bible and how they turn heartache into life experences that help them live happier. Each chapter discusses a different woman from the bible, describing her hardships.. Its nice to see the struggles women inthe bible have and what they turned it into