What do you think?
Rate this book
Confessions of a Mediocre Widow: Or, How I Lost My Husband and My Sanity
I spent my 11th wedding anniversary planning my husband's funeral. If I could just figure out how to make that rhyme, it would be the beginning of a great country song. Involuntarily single. That's the true story of where Catherine Tidd finds herself just three weeks after turning thirty-one. Widowed with three children under six years old, a rusty resume, no fix-it skills, and no clue how to live life as a widow, Catherine can't help but be a little exasperated with her dead husband for leaving her to deal with life on her own. Catherine's now in charge of her life in a way she never wanted to be, in a way that would have most of us reeling and numb. But she soon realizes that when you call the shots, you can make pedicures one of the stages of grief—and that moving forward might be more fun in a new sports car. Her honest Confessions of a Mediocre Widow is a glimpse into the heartbreaking and sometimes humorous world of a young woman who learns that it is possible to find joy in an unexpected life.
Kindle Edition
First published January 1, 2014
112 people are currently reading
492 people want to read
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 30 of 117 reviews
August 12, 2016
Book Review: Or, How Much Crap Do I Have To Wade Through To Get A Good Book About Grief?
As part of this whole awful horrible, terrible, no-good year, I have been casting about for ways to help myself; thankfully, I don't know any other widows my age, and losing a husband, especially unexpectedly and under the circumstances in which he died (me out of town, my daughter opening the door at 4 a.m. to the police...good times), makes for an even rarer breed of widow. This is definitely a good thing, my lack of contacts in the widowed world.
However. Makes it hard to know what's normal. Makes it hard to gauge my progress or lack thereof. I know that's weird, but sometimes having even one person who has been there and understands what you need (or don't need) helps.
So I looked at some self-help books (lots of stuff about God: not for me. Lots of schmaltzy schlocky crap: not for me). I went to therapy (not a ton of help). I joined an online community and started writing this blog, and those two things led to this: a book that actually helped.
Catherine Tidd is the author of Confessions of a Mediocre Widow: Or, How I Lost My Husband And My Sanity; she is also the founder of the online community I joined. Catherine's husband died in a motorcycle accident when he was 34, leaving 31-year-old Catherine widowed with three children under six. In addition to founding a very supportive place online for other widow(er)s, Catherine has also written the only book on being suddenly widowed that actually completely GETS IT.
She gets the shock that comes after death.
She gets the manic need to move on and the paralyzing inability to remember where you put the shoes you JUST TOOK OFF.
She gets the weird look people get when you bring up your dead husband, and understands the sharp intake of breath that people have when you refer to him as "my dead husband" (see also references to "The Widow Card").
She even gets the complicated mess that is dating as a widow.
And WOW, does she ever get the blessing and a curse that is being a widow with children.
Catherine Tidd explains in direct, funny, and honest language what it is like to be left without the person who knows you the best; she talks about what it's like trying to figure out how to do all the stuff that the other person used to do (and which you probably took for granted); she explains the difference between "regular lonely" and "widow lonely" in the way I see it in my head, only she has managed to put it into words:
"The best way I can describe it is the worst kind of homesickness you can imagine because you can't pinpoint what it is you're missing. It's more than just losing a person - it's yearning for a way of life you had and know you will never have again. And the difference between being widowed and other types of loss is that, in most cases, we've lost the person we could lean on and talk to about the despair that we're feeling. We've lost the person we can be most honest with. We've lost the person who would hand us a box of tissues and a glass of wine, hoping that our nervous breakdown would stop before halftime was over."
Above all, Tidd gives grieving widows the room in this book to laugh, to be lost, to be found, to be angry, to grieve, to grow and to move on. At the end she offers suggestions of what to say and do for widows and also for people who are grieving with them. This was the only helpful book that I have read about becoming and being a widow. I found myself laughing and listening to Tidd as I would listen to a friend telling her story; she has a voice that is compelling, a story that is real and a book that is an invaluable addition to grief memoirs. I cannot recommend it highly enough, and not just for widows; for those of you who are watching me (or someone else) go through this process, Tidd's book offers insight into what is happening as we experience the awfulness of widowhood.
I don't really share self-help books much, but this one was a bit of a revelation. I hope none of you need it, but if you do, or if you know someone who does, I cannot recommend it enough.
As part of this whole awful horrible, terrible, no-good year, I have been casting about for ways to help myself; thankfully, I don't know any other widows my age, and losing a husband, especially unexpectedly and under the circumstances in which he died (me out of town, my daughter opening the door at 4 a.m. to the police...good times), makes for an even rarer breed of widow. This is definitely a good thing, my lack of contacts in the widowed world.
However. Makes it hard to know what's normal. Makes it hard to gauge my progress or lack thereof. I know that's weird, but sometimes having even one person who has been there and understands what you need (or don't need) helps.
So I looked at some self-help books (lots of stuff about God: not for me. Lots of schmaltzy schlocky crap: not for me). I went to therapy (not a ton of help). I joined an online community and started writing this blog, and those two things led to this: a book that actually helped.
Catherine Tidd is the author of Confessions of a Mediocre Widow: Or, How I Lost My Husband And My Sanity; she is also the founder of the online community I joined. Catherine's husband died in a motorcycle accident when he was 34, leaving 31-year-old Catherine widowed with three children under six. In addition to founding a very supportive place online for other widow(er)s, Catherine has also written the only book on being suddenly widowed that actually completely GETS IT.
She gets the shock that comes after death.
She gets the manic need to move on and the paralyzing inability to remember where you put the shoes you JUST TOOK OFF.
She gets the weird look people get when you bring up your dead husband, and understands the sharp intake of breath that people have when you refer to him as "my dead husband" (see also references to "The Widow Card").
She even gets the complicated mess that is dating as a widow.
And WOW, does she ever get the blessing and a curse that is being a widow with children.
Catherine Tidd explains in direct, funny, and honest language what it is like to be left without the person who knows you the best; she talks about what it's like trying to figure out how to do all the stuff that the other person used to do (and which you probably took for granted); she explains the difference between "regular lonely" and "widow lonely" in the way I see it in my head, only she has managed to put it into words:
"The best way I can describe it is the worst kind of homesickness you can imagine because you can't pinpoint what it is you're missing. It's more than just losing a person - it's yearning for a way of life you had and know you will never have again. And the difference between being widowed and other types of loss is that, in most cases, we've lost the person we could lean on and talk to about the despair that we're feeling. We've lost the person we can be most honest with. We've lost the person who would hand us a box of tissues and a glass of wine, hoping that our nervous breakdown would stop before halftime was over."
Above all, Tidd gives grieving widows the room in this book to laugh, to be lost, to be found, to be angry, to grieve, to grow and to move on. At the end she offers suggestions of what to say and do for widows and also for people who are grieving with them. This was the only helpful book that I have read about becoming and being a widow. I found myself laughing and listening to Tidd as I would listen to a friend telling her story; she has a voice that is compelling, a story that is real and a book that is an invaluable addition to grief memoirs. I cannot recommend it highly enough, and not just for widows; for those of you who are watching me (or someone else) go through this process, Tidd's book offers insight into what is happening as we experience the awfulness of widowhood.
I don't really share self-help books much, but this one was a bit of a revelation. I hope none of you need it, but if you do, or if you know someone who does, I cannot recommend it enough.
March 13, 2014
For an article about this book, including photos of Catherine and her family, google "Who's in Charge of this Crazy Life?"
Catherine Tidd takes us through her catastrophic loss and leaves us with belief in our ability to survive the worst, and keep a sense of humor. This is a riveting story for anyone who has lost someone they love or survived a disaster. Nearly everyone, in other words. With honesty, spunk, and perseverance, Catherine stays upright, experiments, and makes a new life despite her longing for what is gone. She turns her tragedy into a chance to help others by creating the Widdhahood.com.
Catherine Tidd forgives herself for not knowing what to do in every crisis and lets chaos and grief in. We cheer as she finds balance in her demolished world. Her book makes me smile and laugh at the strange world of my own widowed life. Catherine is known for her wit, but I feel closest to her when she becomes serious and reflective.
"The people who have experienced losing a lifelong partner and who have successfully come out the other side... they're carrying a secret.... they watch for signs, for meaning...and then they act on it, knowing that life is short and that they alone have a special path.... They cry when they need to. They feel everything and welcome it into their lives rather than fighting it. And once that self-awareness happens, so does a certain inner peace." Catherine Tidd.
Catherine Tidd takes us through her catastrophic loss and leaves us with belief in our ability to survive the worst, and keep a sense of humor. This is a riveting story for anyone who has lost someone they love or survived a disaster. Nearly everyone, in other words. With honesty, spunk, and perseverance, Catherine stays upright, experiments, and makes a new life despite her longing for what is gone. She turns her tragedy into a chance to help others by creating the Widdhahood.com.
Catherine Tidd forgives herself for not knowing what to do in every crisis and lets chaos and grief in. We cheer as she finds balance in her demolished world. Her book makes me smile and laugh at the strange world of my own widowed life. Catherine is known for her wit, but I feel closest to her when she becomes serious and reflective.
"The people who have experienced losing a lifelong partner and who have successfully come out the other side... they're carrying a secret.... they watch for signs, for meaning...and then they act on it, knowing that life is short and that they alone have a special path.... They cry when they need to. They feel everything and welcome it into their lives rather than fighting it. And once that self-awareness happens, so does a certain inner peace." Catherine Tidd.
September 22, 2013
I am reviewing an ARC copy of Confessions of a Mediocre Widow. I started reading and couldn’t put it down. There is something so comforting about reading a story that you can connect to. Being a young widow with children I felt at parts like I was reading my own story. Catherine’s writing is so easy and effortless to read. It was like reading one of her blog posts, only longer. There are moments I laughed out loud and many moments I had to take a break because I couldn’t read through the blur of my tears. There were a few passages I highlighted because I KNEW those moments and felt comfort in the fact that someone else knew exactly what I was feeling. From the book: “I’m ready,” I said to Bonnie. “I’m ready to go. That’s not Brad anymore.” Chills and tears as I read that. I’ve had that moment. The life of a widow is ever changing and has some very odd “ticks” that come with it. Kind of like turrets at times, and I feel like Catherine was able to get out on paper what all of us have felt at one moment or an other. This book is a must have for widows, particularly young widows; either in their first 6 months of grief or five years out.
March 13, 2014
I have known Catherine Tidd for about nine years, since our daughters were in kindergarten together. I am constantly amazed by her grace and poise as she moves through what would have crushed so many. She has taken the lemons, made lemon aide and then used the seeds to start an orchard.
I am sure a vineyard is in the planning stages with a winery to follow.
No book could ever capture the sparkle of her personality and her genuine sweetness. Both Catherine and the book are awesome.
I am sure a vineyard is in the planning stages with a winery to follow.
No book could ever capture the sparkle of her personality and her genuine sweetness. Both Catherine and the book are awesome.
August 23, 2019
Catherine Tidd deserves five stars for telling it like it is about widowhood. She made me laugh, cry and not my head so often.
This book is the truth. I loved it.
This book is the truth. I loved it.
December 5, 2015
Wrenching and funny. The author suddenly became a young widow and single mother when her husband died in a traffic accident - this is the story of their life together before that, of what happened, and of her working to pick up the pieces for her children and herself afterward.
Unflinchingly unsentimental and self-searchingly honest, insightful, and ultimately inspiring. A strong survivor. A good book to read when we think we have it hard.
Unflinchingly unsentimental and self-searchingly honest, insightful, and ultimately inspiring. A strong survivor. A good book to read when we think we have it hard.
March 18, 2014
"The best way I can describe it is the worst kind of homesickness you can imagine because you can't pinpoint what it is you're missing. It's more than just losing a person - it's yearning for a way of life you had and know you will never have again. And the difference between being widowed and other types of loss is that, in most cases, we've lost the person we could lean on and talk to about the despair that we're feeling. We've lost the person we can be most honest with. We've lost the person who would hand us a box of tissues and a glass of wine, hoping that our nervous breakdown would stop before halftime was over."
February 7, 2014
Tidd has done a remarkable job describing the real experience young widows with young children go through. It is very difficult to do this when some of the players are still alive. She uses humor in places that I thought were hysterical, but I share her experience, so I'm not sure how others who don't would feel about this. Tidd has a lot of resources, both emotionally and finacially, so it may be hard for others to relate to her, but still, I found this a great read.
March 24, 2014
I have no recall of who gave me this book, but THANKS. When I first started reading it I felt I probably couldn't relate since I am an older-expected-to-be widow and the author was young with small children. Not true. The reactions, feelings, vulnerability reflect what I am experiencing and what a relief to be able to laugh about it all, yet it is a deadly serious book.
March 18, 2014
This was very helpful to me as a young widow with children at home. There were so many similarities that I saw in my own grief journey. This book is written in a light hearted way that really gets to the heart of widowhood.
February 12, 2016
If you've ever wondered what it would be like to find yourself suddenly widowed, I can tell you this book very much mirrored my experience thus far (less the toddlers). So incredibly helpful to know I'm not weirdly unique. I laughed and I cried.
May 3, 2015
Wow. This book blew my mind in several ways. I rushed through it, I even took it to the gym with me so I could read it on the treadmill. Let's just be honest for a second. I'm a mortician. I work in the death care industry, so every single day that I get up and go to work, I am surrounded by death and people who are grieving. That said, as soon as I saw the title of this book, I was drawn to reading Catherine's story.
Death sucks. No matter how you look at it, death absolutely freaking sucks. Catherine tells her story from the standpoint of what has to be one of the most difficult loses to come to terms with and she consistently does it with a class and grace that most others can't. She explores the reasons behind why she feels certain ways, past the obvious explanation of "oh, I'm a widow." The things she does and the things that happen to her, she presents in a way that anyone can relate to and at the same time, assures others that are going through the same or have gone through the same that they aren't crazy. No one is at this point in their life and it's all part of the process of situating your life. Catherine explains the things she went through with a humor that most wouldn't attach to the experience of losing a spouse and through it all, holds her head high. Too often, I see people who try to erase all aspects of the spouse they've lost and not once does Catherine claim to try that.
I feel like this is a must read for anyone that has had a loss in their life, not exclusive to the loss of a spouse, or for anyone who is helping another cope with a loss.
Death sucks. No matter how you look at it, death absolutely freaking sucks. Catherine tells her story from the standpoint of what has to be one of the most difficult loses to come to terms with and she consistently does it with a class and grace that most others can't. She explores the reasons behind why she feels certain ways, past the obvious explanation of "oh, I'm a widow." The things she does and the things that happen to her, she presents in a way that anyone can relate to and at the same time, assures others that are going through the same or have gone through the same that they aren't crazy. No one is at this point in their life and it's all part of the process of situating your life. Catherine explains the things she went through with a humor that most wouldn't attach to the experience of losing a spouse and through it all, holds her head high. Too often, I see people who try to erase all aspects of the spouse they've lost and not once does Catherine claim to try that.
I feel like this is a must read for anyone that has had a loss in their life, not exclusive to the loss of a spouse, or for anyone who is helping another cope with a loss.
June 30, 2014
I picked this up at the library on a fluke, thinking it was fiction. I then realized it was a true story about a woman with 3 small children who suddenly finds herself a widow. Ms. Tidd writes of her fall into grief and climbs out by helping other widows by sharing her own story with her quick black humor amid mental torture. This book messed me up - I'm not going to lie. Even though I am happily remarried, I am a widow from over 18 years ago. This book brought back a ton of memories for me - some good, some very very raw, some surreal, and some that had me laughing out loud. I think if you are a widow, you can certainly relate and will be nodding your head a lot. If you are not, and want to understand just what a mental mess it really is, this is the book. It is not sad, per say, but rather like a smile creeping up the side of your mouth in which you think you shouldn't smile, but you just have to. Kudos to Ms. Tidd - I think you have definitely found your place in helping others through your words.
August 2, 2016
This book is excellent. My husband also died suddenly (at 53 of a bee sting) and I lost so much when he died on Sept 7, 2014. He finally convinced me that he loved me after 20 years and then he was gone. He also finally believed that I truly loved him.
We were both very damaged when we met and managed to become the people we were meant to be, together, as a team. Now I am alone trying to figure out how to cope with life without my soulmate.
Even though I don't have children and skipped over the dating section I related to the author in so many ways. I especially relate to the sense of humour in the face of tragedy. Like the author, we had our battles but the love was deep.
I highly recommend this to anyone who is dealing with loss.
We were both very damaged when we met and managed to become the people we were meant to be, together, as a team. Now I am alone trying to figure out how to cope with life without my soulmate.
Even though I don't have children and skipped over the dating section I related to the author in so many ways. I especially relate to the sense of humour in the face of tragedy. Like the author, we had our battles but the love was deep.
I highly recommend this to anyone who is dealing with loss.
February 19, 2014
Not just for widows! I read this because I know the author from when she worked for a "helpless executive," as she put it. ;) I love her humor and am so glad that she kept it through all of the rough times in her life. She wouldn't be the same without it. This book made me truly appreciate my own family, and the fact that life can change in the blink of an eye.
February 18, 2014
I loved Catherine's writing style. It was honest, raw and at times funny. She's easy to relate to, and someone you know you could share a glass (or bottle) of wine with and talk for hours. There are great words of wisdom throughout the book, and I especially like the chapters at the end which give advice on what to say and how to be supportive through loss.
February 1, 2014
I found myself crying and laughing out loud at the same time. You don't have to be a widow(er) to appreciate this book. Catherine has an amazing sense of humor and a great gift of storytelling. I would recommend this book to anyone!
March 13, 2014
If you are a widow or know anyone going through this, READ THIS BOOK! I laughed and cried. It was all so spot on. And done with the right amount of humor and truth. I want Catherine Tidd to be my friend!
February 16, 2014
Caring, funny, truthful & real. I couldn't put it down and found myself wanting to spend some time with Catherine and her crew.
March 1, 2014
Given this book by a friend who is related to the author. I can't put it down! Sad and very funny at the same time. Very real!
September 3, 2016
This book resonates on so many issues, challenges, and beautiful moments.
March 6, 2014
I really felt for her going through this and life not turning out what she expected it to be.
September 4, 2025
Very real and funny
March 30, 2014
Catherine Tidd, at age 31 a widowed mother of three young kids, shares what life was like for her first as her husband lay dying and then as a widow afterwards. The book is told in somewhat chronological order but by topic so there were times she wrote about events and I could not tell when into her widowhood they occurred (ex. when she left her monthly widow group). Other than that, I really liked the book. It is less depressing than one might expect of a young widow's memoir. Tidd uses honesty, candor and humor to describe it all. As a reader who thankfully has not been through this horrific experience (and hopefully never will), I feel like she really gave me a sense of went it was like. At the end of the book there are tips for widows and widowers and for their friends/supporters, many of which would be helpful to anyone trying to support a friend/family member who is experiencing a loss.
June 8, 2015
I read this book not because I am a widow but because I experienced loss through divorce. I had to move back to my home town, find a job after being out of the workforce to raise my children (9 & 12 when I left), and create a new life for myself. While Catherine Tidd's story was far more tragic than my own, I found it helpful and engaging in many of the circumstances which mirrored my life.
Todd is a captivating writer. Her book is brutally honest, entertaining, heart wrenching and hopeful - I couldn't put it down. She holds nothing back in her depiction of life as a young widow with children and she manages to do so in a style that grabs your attention and doesn't let it go. Todd also forces you to think about how you interact with people who have experienced loss of any kind - what questions to ask, how to help, how to maintain a relationship over time. A truly thought-provoking read.
Todd is a captivating writer. Her book is brutally honest, entertaining, heart wrenching and hopeful - I couldn't put it down. She holds nothing back in her depiction of life as a young widow with children and she manages to do so in a style that grabs your attention and doesn't let it go. Todd also forces you to think about how you interact with people who have experienced loss of any kind - what questions to ask, how to help, how to maintain a relationship over time. A truly thought-provoking read.
January 11, 2014
Extremely insightful, caring, kind and hilarious this author does a great job of bringing her personality to the forefront in a topic that some would take traditionally stoic. Being one who believes that love and laughter makes all things possible I find Catherine's voice and her family and friends showing of support so encouraging that good things can be found in even the worst situation. It is hard to understand what it would be like to go through an experience like this but after having read this book I found myself with a better understanding of how to be empathic and how to understand that everyone's life is a journey and all our baggage is something that can be carried with grace and a smile. Love it; and absolute worth while read.
March 8, 2014
Catherine Tidd is only 31 when her husband is involved in a motorbike accident on his way to work. Left a widow with three young children, we follow her journey as she has to organise his funeral and carry on with a new life.
I always like a good memoir, it gives you a few life lessons along the way and even though I am not married myself I can appreciate how awful this experience is for Catherine and laugh along with her at the absurd things she encounters. Realising that she has written his birthday incorrectly on the large rock used as a headstone did make me smile, as it is easier when you are grieving to make mistakes. Catherine started off as a blogger, and I do admire her writing skills as she managed to make me enjoy this story of her life.
I always like a good memoir, it gives you a few life lessons along the way and even though I am not married myself I can appreciate how awful this experience is for Catherine and laugh along with her at the absurd things she encounters. Realising that she has written his birthday incorrectly on the large rock used as a headstone did make me smile, as it is easier when you are grieving to make mistakes. Catherine started off as a blogger, and I do admire her writing skills as she managed to make me enjoy this story of her life.
March 18, 2021
Catherine Tidd, who was widowed in her early 30s with three young children, has written books, authored a blog, and given a very inspirational TED talk about being a widow. This book is all anecdotal, contains no formal research, and is occasionally very funny - but it is also her very personal experience after her husband died suddenly of a head injury following a traffic accident. Her experience is far from universal - she benefitted from a good insurance policy and from having her parents nearby to help with her children - but there were common insights to be shared, particularly that in the early days of the grieving process it's expected that you will have days when you're bat-shit crazy. Nice to know I'm not alone.
December 14, 2013
I'm so glad Catherine wrote this book. In the book she says that to her good writing was like putting a puzzle together. The art was in making someone laugh in one sentence and cry in the next (this is paraphrased, she said it a lot better than that), and she definitely did that.
The book is so easy to read and pulls you in from the first page. She writes her own memoir in a way that shows her heart, her warmth, her struggle, her journey.
I have not lost a spouse or child, but after reading this I have an understanding of what she went through, and anyone else in a similar situation.
I loved the last part, giving advice to widow/ers AND to the people around them.
The book is so easy to read and pulls you in from the first page. She writes her own memoir in a way that shows her heart, her warmth, her struggle, her journey.
I have not lost a spouse or child, but after reading this I have an understanding of what she went through, and anyone else in a similar situation.
I loved the last part, giving advice to widow/ers AND to the people around them.
June 27, 2021
As a new widow, reading this book made me cry and shudder in horror, gave me perspective, made me laugh at Catherine's antics and view, and gave me hope. That's pretty good!
Displaying 1 - 30 of 117 reviews