Wow. Wow wow wow.
I wish I could have found this volume in my deepest valleys over the past several years, paralyzed often by depression, drained by spiritual warfare, and haunted by grief. There is so, so much light in Nouwen’s words—journaled originally only for himself during his own treacherous journey through the wilderness—beckoning us home to Jesus. But I also wonder if, in my stubbornness, I would not truly have been able to receive these truths until I had seen those dark nights of the soul through to the other side. I needed to learn such lessons the hard way, and then remain postured toward remembering and relearning, for many of our particular darknesses, griefs, sins, fears, and wounds prove to be continuous spaces of earthly sanctification.
It is alarming in a nourishing way to find that even as I can look backwards and know these lessons to be true, I can also look forward with a greater awareness of them as applied to present and future scenarios. And while the particular depth of pain may rise and fall with context, it seems we are always in need, in one way or another, of the deep well of comfort found in being honest both about our weakness and God’s strength. I resonate deeply with Nouwen’s experiences, wrestlings, and eventual (re)discoveries of spiritual rest as written here. His specific circumstances, specific fears, and specific comforts mapped almost exactly against mine, and for that manner, the ones of many other stories and people I know. That is quite wild. I am often astonished at how, though the path of each Christian is varied and unique, we are all ultimately led to the foundational Truth and truths that prismatically comprise belief and faith in Jesus. And so to recognize the Spirit in another, whatever the form of conversation (book or brunch or beyond), is such a comforting thing even as it challenges us to pursue that Spirit more faithfully, no matter how difficult the road.
What a strangely cyclical world we live in. What a faithful Lord who reveals himself in that mystery.
Whether you are presently in the midst of a blinding storm, or have now a renewed capacity to reflect on the lessons gathered from winds recently weathered, I commend Nouwen’s meditations to you.