Spain? They ended up in Spain??!!! So I decided it would be fun to pick up a couple of old school, circa 1980, romances. The first read was the second book of the series - Savage Thunder. It was an okay read, so I figured, what the heck, let me go back and read the first book. I managed to get through this book by sheer will alone.
Kenneth Jesse, aka Jessica, aka Jessie, was the daughter her father never wanted. Another one of those creepy ass guys who's only happy if he has a son, daddy dearest caught mommy in flagrante delicto with a cow hand. Fearing for their safety, the interrupted couple flee out the window. Hours later, his wife returns and gets the crap beaten out of her. Seriously, the description of the beating is painful to read. Broken jaw, lacerated tongue, fingers and wrist broken from defensive posturing, broken ribs, cut and bloodied face. It was awful. Fortunately, she shows up again in the book in full perfect form. No reconstructive plastic surgery needed back in the day I suppose.
Skip forward 10 years and 18 year old Jessie is the stuff of nightmares and, apparently, fantasies. She wants to be a girl but recently deceased daddy dearest refused to let her dress or act as anything but a boy. She can now ride and spit and cowpoke with the best of them. The good news is that now that sick in the head daddy is deceased, Jessie can drag out the frilly dresses she's bought and act like the girly girl she's always wanted to be. Except, and you knew that was coming, in his will daddy dearest stipulated that the long absent whoring wife return to his ranch and act as guardian to Jessie until she turns 20. And how does Jessie react to that. Naturally, she refuses to act or dress as anything but a surly 18 year old boy. Oh Lord.
Frustrating antics ensue. In no particular order these include - but are not limited to:
The introduction of whoring mother's second husband's gambling ne'er-do-well stepson who is invited to the ranch when whoring mother throws her hands up in the air over Jessie's animosity and behavior. Why the whoring mother thought a 26 year old gambler could provide parenting advice was beyond me.
The taking of Jessie's innocence by the ne'er-do-well stepson, Chase Summers. Gotta love that name - Chase Summers. It just practically whispers across your lips. Hehehehe. Oh well, it wasn't so much a taking as a pushy giving. Jessie was a pretty hot-to-trot kind of thing. Their first meeting involved finding Jessie engaged in some pretty heavy second base necking with one of her cowhands out on the plains.
A pretty much absent villain who wants to steal the ranch by rustling, poisoning, and shooting all the cattle. Oh, and burning all the buildings to the ground. With impunity.
Pregnancy.
Heroine pursuit by previously mentioned second-base cowhand; a free range, one wife in the teepee, stoic Sioux warrior; a creepy Spanish matador cousin; a chubby Cheyenne warrior who happens to be the brother of her BFF; the gambling stepson, oh, and maybe one or two others. It's so hard to keep up.
A half breed Cheyenne warrior BFF. White Thunder. Hero of the next book Savage Thunder.
Loads and loads of foot stomping and riding through dangerous territory to go see BFF and his peeps - who have always accepted that Jessie is a girl.
Sheer obtuseness. So Jessie meets BFF when daddy dearest takes her to meet the tribe. Even though it's obvious daddy is very familiar with the Cheyenne from his early mountain man/trapper days, and Jessie and WT have a natural affinity for each and share the EXACT SAME STUNNING BLUE GREEN EYES it never occurs to either Jessie or WT that they may possibly be half siblings. All they know is that in spite of being besties, they've never suffered from any sexual attraction. Apparently, their shared genes provide some sort of internal incest warning system.
A hero tossing heroine over his lap to apply a very thorough spanking.
A catatonic state during which time the hero decides to head off to Spain to find his long lost daddy. Because, seriously, doesn't every hero know the best time to go off to another freaking continent to solve your lifelong daddy issues is when your 18 year old pregnant bride is in a catatonic state induced from witnessing the total destruction of everything she owns. I mean, she's not even going to notice if you're there or not. Right???
An awkwardly found journal - really awkwardly found. Okay not so much found as taken. Chase is trying to close his stepmother's trunk and the darn thing just won't close because this pesky journal just keeps getting in the way. Anyhoo, thankfully the journal spells out the truth of Jessie's whoring mother's innocence of the whole whoring thing. Thank the stars she kept a journal since she couldn't get Jessie to listen to the explanation of her innocence. Turns out after years of marriage, daddy dearest didn't even know his own wife well enough to distinguish her golden, demure, elegant looks from those of his Indian housemaid. I guess when you're nuts we all look alike even in broad daylight!!!!!!
A stabbing in the back while nekkid and drunk in a prostitute's bed at the local saloon/whorehouse.
My favorite part of the book was Jessie's reaction to Chase's whining about his real father. As he explains the circumstances of his birth and his search for his father, he shares that after working his way to California from Chicago he discovered the family had returned to Spain. And he couldn't continue his search because Spain is such a big country and he doesn't speak the language. She then asks why, if finding his real father was his raison d'être, he didn't learn Spanish???? Good question. Cuz it was soooo hard and he'd already worked sooo hard and he didn't want to work soooo hard anymore so he decided to become a gambler.
So to sum up our hero, Chase Summers: he is a man who is driven to find his daddy - except when it requires something hard like learning Spanish. He prefers gambling to working because he can stay in nice hotels. He is so arrogant that every time his stepmother - who he calls Lady for some unexplained reason - sends him out to retrieve Jessie when she heads out on her own, he rides off heedless of where he is going or why he is going and manages to get himself captured and almost killed. He believes grown women should be paddled just like children. He has sex with young virgins he hates and never considers the consequences of said sexual intercourse vis-a-vis potential offspring. He slut shames Jessie to her mother while conveniently forgetting to share the fact that he knows he's the only man to have actually had sex with her - the whole virgin thing conveniently overlooked during his tirade. He thinks heavy drinking and sex with a prostitute are the best ways to get over his stepmother's justified anger at his hypocritically boinking her daughter, and, finally, he thinks leaving his catatonic pregnant bride to look for his daddy since he plans to be back in time for the birthing is an okay way to behave. Oh, yeah, I forgot about the whole ignoring her for the last three months of her pregnancy because he caught his creepy matador cousin stealing a rebuffed smooch even though his wife pursued him to Spain after he left her at home PREGNANT AND IN A CATATONIC STATE. Good grief.