Hand-Me-Down Dreams: How Families Influence Our Career Paths and How We Can Reclaim Them

by Mary H. Jacobsen, Sarah Silbert (Editor)

We all know that hand-me-downs are often comfortable and easy to put on, but we are rarely happy in something--a jacket or a job--that we didn't choose. If you feel trapped or disappointed in your current career or job, or if you let your family's wishes, rather than your own natural talents, interests, and passions, guide your ultimate career choice, you are living someone else's dream. These "hand-me-down dreams" influence every aspect of our lives, including our work and how we do it.

In Hand-Me-Down Dreams , Mary H. Jacobsen's insightful wisdom, culled from her experience as a psychotherapist and career counselor and from her own personal life, illuminates the problems you'll encounter when trying to change this family dynamic. In reading this book and participating in its exercises, you'll be armed with the knowledge you'll need to find the motivation and the courage to fulfill your own dreams and attain success on your terms.

240 pages, Paperback

First published April 6, 1999

Reviews

[Ashton E. · Rating 4 out of 5]

I definitely found this interesting thinking about how our families influence our career choices - either through explicit approval or non-verbal communication of getting more excited when you are good at something they approve of etc.

[Barry Davis · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book seeks to explain “how families influence our career paths and how we can reclaim them.” Written by a social worker with a private practice as a psychotherapist and career counselor, the book at times reads more like a primer on family systems therapy than a book on career development. Even so, it is full of insight and feedback on how our career decisions are often affected by our family of origin, unrealized dreams of our parents, birth order, even abuse. The book includes some extensive exercises in the back (referenced to in the appropriate chapters) to guide the reader in removing barriers, defining purpose, rediscovering your true self, etc. The end of the book provides some brief but pointed advice to parents on how to avoid doing this to their children – notably, identify what is your “unlived life” and start to live it!
A brief set of guidelines on how and when to seek professional counseling (whether career or therapy) is
included at the end of the book, along with an excellent bibliography of a number of books and articles on these issues.

[Lauren · Rating 5 out of 5]

That family effects us more than we know.

[Eoin · Rating 3 out of 5]

An good idea inelegantly told. Worth it if you are interested in your own choices.