Love within Limits: Realizing Selfless Love in a Selfish World

by Lewis B. Smedes

Using as his basis the magnificent words of I Corinthians 13, author Smedes here explores how ideal love — selfless love — can take root in the crevices of a real and selfish world. Says I want to see in a realistic way how the power of love can reshape our lives. I am not working out a “love ethic”; I do not lay down the duties of love. I assume that love is a power, and that it enables us before it obligates us. But ideal love does not work in an ideal world. It works within the limits of our ordinary lives….My object is to see how it works and what happens when it does. Frankly realistic and thoughtfully inspiring, Smedes' exploration will enable all readers to better realize both the hardships and joys of selfless love.

Genres: Christian, Christianity, Christian Living

160 pages, Paperback

First published September 19, 1978

About the author

Lewis Benedictus Smedes (1921 — December 19, 2002) was a renowned Christian author, ethicist, and theologian in the Reformed tradition. He was a professor of theology and ethics for twenty-five years at Fuller Theological Seminary in Pasadena, California. His 15 books, including the popular Forgive and Forget, covered some important issues including sexuality and forgiveness.

Lewis Benedictus Smedes was born in 1921, the youngest of five children. His father, Melle Smedes, and mother, Rena (Benedictus), emigrated to the United States from Oostermeer, Friesland in the Netherlands. (Rena's name before being changed by the officials at Ellis Island was Renske.) When he was two-months-old, his father died in the partially completed house he built in Muskegon, Michigan. He married Doris Dekker. He died after falling from a ladder at his home in Sierra Madre, California on December 19, 2002. He was survived by his wife, three children, two grandchildren and one brother.

In addition to many articles, Smedes wrote many popular books including:

* Forgive & Forget: Healing the Hurts We Don't Deserve, Harper, 1984
* A Pretty Good Person What it Takes to Live with Courage, Gratitude, & Integrity or When Pretty Good Is as Good as You Can Be, Harper, 1990
* Standing on the Promises
* Choices: Making Right Decisions in a Complex World
* How Can It Be All Right When Everything Is All Wrong?
* Caring & Commitment: Learning to Live the Love We Promise
* The Incarnation in Modern Anglo-Catholic Theology
* All Things Made New
* Love Within Limits
* Sex for Christians
* Mere Morality: What God Expects From Ordinary People
* A Life of Distinction
* The Art of Forgiving
* Shame and Grace: Healing the Shame We Don't Deserve
* Keeping Hope Alive
* My God and I, a Spiritual Memoir, Eerdmans, 2003

Reviews

[Heidi · Rating 5 out of 5]

6 stars.
Or, possibly, 7.
I've had this book on my shelf for 35-plus years, since it appeared on a college course syllabus. I remember liking it back then. So - when it was clear to me that the focus of my reading/study/prayer for 2021 should be "Love" - I added it to my reading list. And started reading it 8 months ago.
It's a short book, about 150 pages.
It's a simple book in many ways.
But it took me 8 months to read because it was so thought-provoking, so meaningful and deep in the areas where God is teaching me how to love with His love - agape love.
The author takes each word, each phrase, of the well-known Love passage in 1 Corinthians 13:4-8, and expounds upon it. It is more devotional than scholarly - but the depth of insight, the direct hits of his commentary and challenges, hit home more than any Bible study of this passage I've ever done. He gives words to things I've thought, things I've done, in ways I didn't know how.
My copy is well-marked; I've brought it to counseling sessions to talk through; I've shared passages and quotes with friends. I do believe I will turn to it on a regular basis: to remind myself of the ugliness of resentment; to think upon what it means that "love carries"; to understand how loss of hope will inevitably mean loss of love, unless my hope is in what God has actually promised, instead of my own wishful thinking and desires.
This little book has held for me profound lessons for how to relate to my husband, how to love him well, how to recognize where I am failing to love.
I promptly bought a copy for my counselor and likely will be gifting it to friends this Christmas.
If you are a follower of Christ, I highly recommend this book.

[Robin · Rating 4 out of 5]

A great short but deep study on the majestic chapter of 1 Cor. 13. Smedes has lots of great insights on what it means to have agape love, the love of God, within the limits of our heart and lives.

[Donner Tan · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have been a fan of the late Lewis Smedes whose insightful writings have been a rare inspiration in the field of ethics and theology. Besides 'Forgive and forget' and 'Mere Morality', this book has been IMO one of his best works on ethics. He combines deep ethical insights with beautiful prose, that croons in your imagination long after you have put down the book. Using Paul's rhapsody on 'Agape love' in 1 Cor 13, he teases out the powerful drives of the love that knows no bounds - love does not seek its own self, love is not haughty, love has poise, love believes and risks with a kind of reckless abandonment, love hates evil, love gives hope... and at the same time holds all these superlatives in tension with the finitude of the human lover. So while the far-flung larger-than-life characteristics of love are eloquently expounded, Smedes discusses how love works itself out in our day to day world, conditioned by limited resources, human sinfulness and societal constraints. What we have is a hard-nosed treatment of the virtue of Christian love as it is exercised in the fallen world with the accompanying virtues of discernment and justice. Smedes writes with the theological acumen of Aquinas and the literary prowess of Shakespeare! Destined to be a classic.

[Mark Seeley · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a book I return to again and again. Not idealistic. Real, human, nuanced and full of common sense.

[Laura · Rating 5 out of 5]

Thought provoking little gem.

[Steve Savig · Rating 3 out of 5]

have an older version "A Realistic View of I Cor 13" study with Syd & Cheerie Cline, Brian & Bonnie Post, Craig Bailey, and Kris & I
OK book. good for the time