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You're Going to Mars!
Living and slaving in Fill City One, you get used to the smell. We call it the Everpresent Stink. But every once in a while, on a spring day with a breeze, it clears away enough to remind us that there is something more out there. Most Fillers' wildest dreams would be just to get past the walls and live in the mainland. But my dream? It’s a little bigger.
I’m going to Mars.
Well, I’m only going to Mars if I can find a winning Red Scarab to get on Zach Larson’s crazy reality show. And then I’ll have to figure out how to escape this hellhole. And then compete on live television for three months. And somehow win a spot on the crew of the very first manned mission to Mars. Oh, and one more slight obstacle? There might be a reason that by 2085 a human still hasn’t set foot on the Red Planet. A dangerous reason. A reason worth killing for.
In You’re Going to Mars! Rob Dircks, Audible best-selling author of Where the Hell Is Tesla?, creates a near-future filled with family (the good kind and the insufferable kind), pop divas, mobsters, and the world’s first trillionaire - and sends them all on a science fiction odyssey/comedy/love story/adventure that will change their world forever.
©2018 Rob Dircks (P)2018 Audible Originals, LLC.
I’m going to Mars.
Well, I’m only going to Mars if I can find a winning Red Scarab to get on Zach Larson’s crazy reality show. And then I’ll have to figure out how to escape this hellhole. And then compete on live television for three months. And somehow win a spot on the crew of the very first manned mission to Mars. Oh, and one more slight obstacle? There might be a reason that by 2085 a human still hasn’t set foot on the Red Planet. A dangerous reason. A reason worth killing for.
In You’re Going to Mars! Rob Dircks, Audible best-selling author of Where the Hell Is Tesla?, creates a near-future filled with family (the good kind and the insufferable kind), pop divas, mobsters, and the world’s first trillionaire - and sends them all on a science fiction odyssey/comedy/love story/adventure that will change their world forever.
©2018 Rob Dircks (P)2018 Audible Originals, LLC.
11 pages, Audible Audio
First published November 13, 2018
48 people are currently reading
250 people want to read
About the author
Rob Dircks
14 books291 followersRob Dircks is the #1 Audible bestselling author of
You're Going to Mars!
, the
Where the Hell is Tesla?
series,
The Wrong Unit
, and more (including the anti-self-help book
Unleash the Sloth! 75 Ways to Reach Your Maximum Potential By Doing Less
). He's also got a drawerful of screenplays and short stories, some of which appear on his original audio sci-fi short story podcast Listen To The Signal, also narrated by the author.
Rob's a member of SFWA (Science Fiction & Fantasy Writers of America), and is a big fan of classic science fiction. When not writing, he's helping other authors publish their own work with Goldfinch Publishing, writing and designing for the award-winning ad agency he owns with his brother (appropriately called Dircks Associates), and generally doing what he calls "sampling": video production, audio production, app development, photography, guitar, reading, cooking. (Note the absence of the phrases "going to the gym" and "running iron-man triathalons.") He lives in New York with his wife and two kids. You can get in touch at robdircks.com.
Rob's a member of SFWA (Science Fiction & Fantasy Writers of America), and is a big fan of classic science fiction. When not writing, he's helping other authors publish their own work with Goldfinch Publishing, writing and designing for the award-winning ad agency he owns with his brother (appropriately called Dircks Associates), and generally doing what he calls "sampling": video production, audio production, app development, photography, guitar, reading, cooking. (Note the absence of the phrases "going to the gym" and "running iron-man triathalons.") He lives in New York with his wife and two kids. You can get in touch at robdircks.com.
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October 23, 2018Hi, I'm the author. This story started with a simple premise: what would happen if the most unlikely person got a chance to go to Mars? And then BOOM: this book was born. I got to spend a good chunk of 2017-2018 with Paper, and her mother Jane, and of course Aurora, and the Gitanos (oh boy, those Gitanos!), and the master of ceremonies himself, Zach Larson, as they all careened this way and that, through this science fiction odyssey/comedy/love story/adventure, and maybe even learned something about themselves along the way. It was an absolute joy to write, and I sincerely hope you enjoy it too.
Want to read
July 21, 2019Super excited to have snagged this as an Audible daily deal today! Heads up for anyone who likes a dose of silly with their sci-fi -- Rob Dircks writes some pretty funny books!
November 24, 2018
I've already read several of Rob Dirck's books and loved them, so I jumped at the chance to read this one.
It's a fun underdog story set in a future U.S. where a huge corporation has complete control over waste management. Our heroine, Paper (with sisters named Rock and Scissors), is a drudge in one of the very stinky trash cities. She has always dreamed of space travel and is smart as a whip, but her lowly position keeps her firmly on the terrestrial garbage heap. That is until a contest from the richest man on Earth gives her a chance to fulfill her destiny. Now she's on her own and has to prove her mettle in a competition—called "You're Going to Mars!"—for a seat to the red planet.
The book is a fantasy overall with some fun science fiction included for the geeks among us. The characters are unique and authentic and the dialog is realistic and funny, with lots of snarky remarks and sarcasm from Paper's fellow candidates. Some of the humor was sophomoric but I laughed out loud several times. There's also plenty of action throughout and an exciting finale.
The themes are a sort of combination of "Ready Player One" (integrity trumps environment) and "Red Rising" (if you can't beat 'em, join 'em) with themes from "The Wizard of Oz" (there's no place like home) and "The Hunger Games" (don't trust your competitors) but the book is definitely for adults.
The audiobook production was excellent. As I've said many times, a narrator can make or break a story, and Khristine Hvam is absolutely brilliant in this one. Her pacing and attitude were perfect. The one little complaint I have is that her voice gets a little whiny at times, but it's a small irritation compared to the whole.
Includes foul language in a modern context, no real sex, very little violence. Highly recommended in the audiobook format and for fans of Hugh Howey, Ernest Cline, Marko Kloos, Dennis E. Taylor, and John Scalzi.
Thanks to the author for offering a free copy of the audiobook, to Goodreads for the opportunity, and to Audible for the production.
It's a fun underdog story set in a future U.S. where a huge corporation has complete control over waste management. Our heroine, Paper (with sisters named Rock and Scissors), is a drudge in one of the very stinky trash cities. She has always dreamed of space travel and is smart as a whip, but her lowly position keeps her firmly on the terrestrial garbage heap. That is until a contest from the richest man on Earth gives her a chance to fulfill her destiny. Now she's on her own and has to prove her mettle in a competition—called "You're Going to Mars!"—for a seat to the red planet.
The book is a fantasy overall with some fun science fiction included for the geeks among us. The characters are unique and authentic and the dialog is realistic and funny, with lots of snarky remarks and sarcasm from Paper's fellow candidates. Some of the humor was sophomoric but I laughed out loud several times. There's also plenty of action throughout and an exciting finale.
The themes are a sort of combination of "Ready Player One" (integrity trumps environment) and "Red Rising" (if you can't beat 'em, join 'em) with themes from "The Wizard of Oz" (there's no place like home) and "The Hunger Games" (don't trust your competitors) but the book is definitely for adults.
The audiobook production was excellent. As I've said many times, a narrator can make or break a story, and Khristine Hvam is absolutely brilliant in this one. Her pacing and attitude were perfect. The one little complaint I have is that her voice gets a little whiny at times, but it's a small irritation compared to the whole.
Includes foul language in a modern context, no real sex, very little violence. Highly recommended in the audiobook format and for fans of Hugh Howey, Ernest Cline, Marko Kloos, Dennis E. Taylor, and John Scalzi.
Thanks to the author for offering a free copy of the audiobook, to Goodreads for the opportunity, and to Audible for the production.
April 26, 2021
First off, I have to let you know I seriously despise Reality TV. Why? Mostly because it always seems to bring out the most embarrassing representatives of humanity. You can keep your Big Brother mouth breathers and your haughty lion-faced Housewives, because I only care about who's got an alien porn addiction onboard The Orville and which character will next travel through the Craigh na Dun stones to the 1770s on Outlander. (Yes, I like my TV like I like my books: ESCAPIST)
I guess that means I should have hated You're Going to Mars!, because it revolves around a futuristic Charlie and the Chocolate Factory-styled reality show, where a randomly selected few compete for a chance to…you guessed it: GO TO MARS.
But you see, this book is written by the hilarious and too-creative-for-his-britches sci-fi author, Rob Dircks. Dircks has found a way to make even back-stabbing and dirty competition seem like an outrageously fun ride, and not just because we sci-fi lovers have the carrot of billionaire-designed tech and space travel dangling in front of us. We also get characters we relate to, and a future we can't abide.
Unlike in true Reality TV, there are solid reasons here to cheer for the underdog, the guileless Paper. She's perhaps the only one in the race who's out for something besides herself, and the world of judges out in social media-land may not recognize it, but we sure do. Our heroine makes a strong play for winning this competition, while also attempting to right more than a few global wrongs. Witty sci-fi competition with a worthy purpose and a whack on the back of a few deserving figureheads -- what's not to love?
I guess that means I should have hated You're Going to Mars!, because it revolves around a futuristic Charlie and the Chocolate Factory-styled reality show, where a randomly selected few compete for a chance to…you guessed it: GO TO MARS.
But you see, this book is written by the hilarious and too-creative-for-his-britches sci-fi author, Rob Dircks. Dircks has found a way to make even back-stabbing and dirty competition seem like an outrageously fun ride, and not just because we sci-fi lovers have the carrot of billionaire-designed tech and space travel dangling in front of us. We also get characters we relate to, and a future we can't abide.
Unlike in true Reality TV, there are solid reasons here to cheer for the underdog, the guileless Paper. She's perhaps the only one in the race who's out for something besides herself, and the world of judges out in social media-land may not recognize it, but we sure do. Our heroine makes a strong play for winning this competition, while also attempting to right more than a few global wrongs. Witty sci-fi competition with a worthy purpose and a whack on the back of a few deserving figureheads -- what's not to love?
January 9, 2023
This book was so much fun and I loved it! I listened to the audiobook and Khristine Hvam was amazing as performer. She’s also the narrator that made me fall in love with audiobooks years ago!
This story really checked off so many of my boxes for me. Dystopian - check, Reality Show - check, Astronaut Training - check, Space Flight - check, Futuristic - check, Future Tech - check, Lovable Characters - check, MARS! - check, check, check!!
Paper (triplet sisters Rock and Scissors) is an indentured generational servant (along with her entire family) to a mob family. They are known as Fillers and there are many cities set up around the nation like this. Growing up, Paper was fascinated with rockets and space travel, and being able to step foot on another planet. When she wins a spot on a reality game show called “You’re Going to Mars!” where the winner will join a real mission to Mars, she escapes the city to join the show and put her talents to the test to win that one spot.
I can’t tell you how much fun this story was. I loved everything about it. Even the crazy mom who abandoned her triplets when they were babies. I loved the crazy multi-billionaire who put together the Mars mission and the game show. I couldn’t get enough and would stay up way too long at night just to listen to one more chapter.
I’ll definitely be checking out more by author Rob Dircks!!
This story really checked off so many of my boxes for me. Dystopian - check, Reality Show - check, Astronaut Training - check, Space Flight - check, Futuristic - check, Future Tech - check, Lovable Characters - check, MARS! - check, check, check!!
Paper (triplet sisters Rock and Scissors) is an indentured generational servant (along with her entire family) to a mob family. They are known as Fillers and there are many cities set up around the nation like this. Growing up, Paper was fascinated with rockets and space travel, and being able to step foot on another planet. When she wins a spot on a reality game show called “You’re Going to Mars!” where the winner will join a real mission to Mars, she escapes the city to join the show and put her talents to the test to win that one spot.
I can’t tell you how much fun this story was. I loved everything about it. Even the crazy mom who abandoned her triplets when they were babies. I loved the crazy multi-billionaire who put together the Mars mission and the game show. I couldn’t get enough and would stay up way too long at night just to listen to one more chapter.
I’ll definitely be checking out more by author Rob Dircks!!
February 2, 2019
Maybe I was just in the right mood to read this, but I absolutely loved it. Somewhat similar to a Heinlien juvenile, but perhaps better written? Highly recommend for anyone that liked We are Legion, We are Bob or Have Spacesuit Will Travel...
September 3, 2019
Pretty good little book. We get a picture of a future here that is pretty dismal for a lot of us humans. The Constution seems to have been allowed to run off the road badly by a crooked government that's obviously in the pocket of some powerful crime families...
Any more and I'll be in spoiler territory here. Suffice it to say that our story revolves around a young woman who dreams of going to Mars but is among a group of people who's rights have basically been stolen away and who would ordinarily have no chance of going to Mars...even in the event of a Game Show called You're Going To Mars..
But with some ingenuity and a little help from her friends...who knows?
I can recommend this one.
Any more and I'll be in spoiler territory here. Suffice it to say that our story revolves around a young woman who dreams of going to Mars but is among a group of people who's rights have basically been stolen away and who would ordinarily have no chance of going to Mars...even in the event of a Game Show called You're Going To Mars..
But with some ingenuity and a little help from her friends...who knows?
I can recommend this one.
November 14, 2018
Triplets named Paper, Rock and Scissors live in Fill City One with their father and grandmother. Paper’s dream is to go to Mars someday. Good news for Paper! Zach Larson, a private entrepreneur is funding a private trip to Mars. For one lucky person who competes on his TV game show and wins! Much like Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, Paper has to find the much sought-after prize, a red scarab. If she’s lucky enough to find a winning scarab, she has to escape Fill City One; ride over 2,000 miles with her absentee mother, then she has to compete in Larson’s live TV show for three months and beat out 25 other contestants. Can she do it? Thing is Paper is smart and strong but she’s not without feelings. She has to decide to what depths she will sink to get to Mars …
Rob Dircks, the author, gives his audience an action-packed adventure full of twists and emotional highs and lows. Dircks creates characters that he gives depth to and cultivates them into likeable (and hate-able) beings.
The plot is well structured and solid. Each character is realistic as is the dialog. The reactions of his characters are spot on as well. Dircks has carefully and delightfully constructed a memorable story. I would love to see it filmed!
I got this audiobook two days ago and I finished it within the 48 hours I had it. It is captivating, interesting and creative. I could not put it down!
Khristine Hvam performed the audiobook excellently! She was comfortable with the story and characters, she made the audiobook pleasant and memorable as well. This is the first time I have heard her; she is perfect!
I loved it this book. I enjoyed the different messes Paper found herself; I found the emotional discoveries she made were insightful and at times painful. This is an audiobook I will listen to again and again!
There were no issues with the quality or production of this audiobook.
Rob Dircks, the author, gives his audience an action-packed adventure full of twists and emotional highs and lows. Dircks creates characters that he gives depth to and cultivates them into likeable (and hate-able) beings.
The plot is well structured and solid. Each character is realistic as is the dialog. The reactions of his characters are spot on as well. Dircks has carefully and delightfully constructed a memorable story. I would love to see it filmed!
I got this audiobook two days ago and I finished it within the 48 hours I had it. It is captivating, interesting and creative. I could not put it down!
Khristine Hvam performed the audiobook excellently! She was comfortable with the story and characters, she made the audiobook pleasant and memorable as well. This is the first time I have heard her; she is perfect!
I loved it this book. I enjoyed the different messes Paper found herself; I found the emotional discoveries she made were insightful and at times painful. This is an audiobook I will listen to again and again!
There were no issues with the quality or production of this audiobook.
February 4, 2019
What a great surprise! This book sounded like something I would like from the get go but I didn’t think I’d enjoy it even close to this much. I absolutely loved it! The plot was well thought out, the characters had depth and the story was fast paced with a lot of action. Also it was really funny!!!
This was not a completely new take on a dystopian future, though it was executed really well. While most people live normally, some people are signed into indentured servitude for generations in Fill Cities (Landfills) where they basically just work for free to produce energy from trash and can never leave. Then the reality TV show You’re Going To Mars! is announced and Paper (a Filler) gets herself onto it. That’s when things really start to get good. Not only did I love Paper but I also loved her family and all the other fun characters that were part of the show. I especially even loved Aurora. I didn’t at first but then as I learned more about her and the dynamic between Paper and her changed, I ended up really liking her.
The whole instalove part of the story could definitely have been done better. It was literally like I see you, I love you. It was so quick I was actually like wait what? When did that even happen? I was ok with it after it happened I just wanted more of an ease in to it. I get that this is the definition of instalove but it was too insta. If it was even the teeniest bit more fleshed out it would have been better.
Also, I loooved that I had no idea who the saboteur was!!! I was totally suspicious of the wrong nice guy! I feel like such a jerk! I had no idea it was going to be who it ended up being!
The narrator of this audiobook did a great job. She spoke clearly and made it easy to distinguish one character from another. She also did a good job portraying each character’s personalities and expressing their emotions.
Overall this was a great book. I enjoyed every aspect of it. It was a great story and a lot of fun to listen to. I’m looking forward to reading and listening to more books by this author.
I would like to thank the author/narrator/publisher for generously providing me with a copy of this audiobook in exchange for an unbiased and honest review. All thoughts and opinions are my own.
This was not a completely new take on a dystopian future, though it was executed really well. While most people live normally, some people are signed into indentured servitude for generations in Fill Cities (Landfills) where they basically just work for free to produce energy from trash and can never leave. Then the reality TV show You’re Going To Mars! is announced and Paper (a Filler) gets herself onto it. That’s when things really start to get good. Not only did I love Paper but I also loved her family and all the other fun characters that were part of the show. I especially even loved Aurora. I didn’t at first but then as I learned more about her and the dynamic between Paper and her changed, I ended up really liking her.
The whole instalove part of the story could definitely have been done better. It was literally like I see you, I love you. It was so quick I was actually like wait what? When did that even happen? I was ok with it after it happened I just wanted more of an ease in to it. I get that this is the definition of instalove but it was too insta. If it was even the teeniest bit more fleshed out it would have been better.
Also, I loooved that I had no idea who the saboteur was!!! I was totally suspicious of the wrong nice guy! I feel like such a jerk! I had no idea it was going to be who it ended up being!
The narrator of this audiobook did a great job. She spoke clearly and made it easy to distinguish one character from another. She also did a good job portraying each character’s personalities and expressing their emotions.
Overall this was a great book. I enjoyed every aspect of it. It was a great story and a lot of fun to listen to. I’m looking forward to reading and listening to more books by this author.
I would like to thank the author/narrator/publisher for generously providing me with a copy of this audiobook in exchange for an unbiased and honest review. All thoughts and opinions are my own.
January 29, 2020
Got this after a friend's recommendation and Audible having an end of the year rewind of all their Daily Deals sale. A breezy tale of a chance to go to Mars by being one of the lucky ones to win a chance to go on a game show whose winner gets to be the first humans on Mars. A nice " If things keep going the way things are right now, this is are future" Combine the enjoyable books Have Space Suit—Will Travel with Space Opera and you will have the bones of this tale. the narration of the audiobook was performed by Khristine Hvam who also had to provide a believable singing voice. Khristine nails it. A case of the narrator adding to the enjoyment of the story.
January 23, 2020
I've seen reviews calling this a mix between "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory" and "The Hunger Games", but I think that that is inaccurate.
I would say that "You're Going to Mars" is a ridiculously rushed attempt to meld "Ender's Game" with "Ready Player One".
At the end of the day, the novel has too many characters, rushes and stumbles its way through the "competition" stage of the story, and sprints through the ending like there was a deadline to meet; all of which is too bad because the premise is very enticing and the style of writing isn't terrible.
I would say that "You're Going to Mars" is a ridiculously rushed attempt to meld "Ender's Game" with "Ready Player One".
At the end of the day, the novel has too many characters, rushes and stumbles its way through the "competition" stage of the story, and sprints through the ending like there was a deadline to meet; all of which is too bad because the premise is very enticing and the style of writing isn't terrible.
January 9, 2019
Dircks is quickly becoming one of my favorite authors. He writes great science fiction with characters who have lots of heart. With lead of this story, Paper, he gets a 21 year old woman who feels authentic. He also nails a complicated relationship between Paper and Aurora.
And then there's the adventure itself. A few books ago, I'd just finished reading a non-fiction about life as an astronaut on the ISS. This book feels very researched while not at all dull.
As for the story, this is like any reality TV competition with a chance to go to Mars. The reality competition aspects of it for me were some of the best parts because the action was clicking and the plot was moving. That is not to imply that it's slow at any point, because it isn't.
Heartily recommended. I'm waiting for the next Dircks novel, and I'm sure it will be a good one. (No pressure, though, right?)
And then there's the adventure itself. A few books ago, I'd just finished reading a non-fiction about life as an astronaut on the ISS. This book feels very researched while not at all dull.
As for the story, this is like any reality TV competition with a chance to go to Mars. The reality competition aspects of it for me were some of the best parts because the action was clicking and the plot was moving. That is not to imply that it's slow at any point, because it isn't.
Heartily recommended. I'm waiting for the next Dircks novel, and I'm sure it will be a good one. (No pressure, though, right?)
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November 5, 2022This was a really fun audiobook and the narrator was fantastic. I would absolutely listen to her again in the future. However, the story felt just a little too easy and everything was tied up a bit too perfectly in the end. However with that said, the ending felt extremely rushed. So, while the main story ended, I was left with a lot questions as to what happened to everyone. I needed a more thorough “Where are they now?” for all the characters that were introduced.
August 5, 2019
A fun coming of age story.
September 19, 2019
This is sooo cheesy and gets soo cliché at times but I had such a great time listening to it! It's such a guilty pleasure for me! Yes, it gets superr hunger games-y but I don't know, I had a great time. Also, very well narrated.
August 22, 2019
I think I owe this one a little review, given that I've only awarded it 2 stars.
I seem to have a weird relationship with Rob Dircks, I absolutely loved The Wrong Unit, kind-of enjoyed Where the Hell is Tesla? but I absolutely did not like You're Going to Mars!. Let me tell you why, because your mileage may vary.
1. Story
This one might be down to me having the wrong mindset going in, but I was expecting more space-faring sci-fi and less dystopian game-shows. This entire story read like a cotton candy version of The Hunger Games. It spends about 80% of its runtime talking about who is going to Mars, and only 20% of actually getting there. I would have preferred it the other way around. I'm also not that big a fan of game-show stories, as they always tend to use the same tropes over and over.
What's even worse is the liberal use of deus-ex-machina to get the MC out of trouble and the predictable plot twists that actually got annoying by the end.
2. Characters
This is where this book really falls apart for me. All of the characters, both main and side are just 1 dimensional cardboard cutouts of the tropes required for their role, worsened by the fact that, with the exception of the 2 "bad" guys (who were obviously totally and unequivocally bad), EVERYONE secretly has a heart of gold and just wants to hug it out all of the time. This type of feel-good, warm-and-fuzzy story didn't entertain me in The Long Way to a Small, Angry Planet and it still doesn't. It's not helped that all the characters seem to act like teenagers in a classroom, even the so-called adults are either all-bad or all-good, with no middle ground.
3. Writing
The writing is a bit of a coin on its side. The flow and writing is actually pretty good and works really well to make the story go down easy. Nothing to difficult though, don't expect high prose here, when I say it makes it go down easy, I truly mean it just like that, it simplifies everything so you don't really have to think about it.
There was one instance where this was glaringly obvious, and if I would go back I would probably find more, but this one stood out as a sore thumb:
I'm pretty sure there's a name for this technique, but I'm reading a novel here, not a dictionary. Either I know the word, and adding its explanation is just patronizing, or I don't know it, and I'll look it up, or it becomes obvious from the context, but this really tripped me up.
There also seems to be a pacing issue near the final 20% of the book, as if the author had to stay within a certain page limit. Suddenly everything has to go really fast, there's no embellishment, or build-up any more, we just get event after event, either completely overdone, where the words feel hollow or completely underdone, where it just feels like we're tying up loose ends, just because we have to. In the last bits of the book there are multiple consecutive chapters that are only half a page long and it felt rushed and hollowed out. Deadline maybe?
Conclusion
If you're the type of person that enjoys simple stories with plenty of feel-good moments and like to hug your books because of the UwU overload, you'll love this. It's an easy read, with simple characters, a simple story and simple plot twists. Kinda like a Disney kid show. I, however, didn't like it.
I seem to have a weird relationship with Rob Dircks, I absolutely loved The Wrong Unit, kind-of enjoyed Where the Hell is Tesla? but I absolutely did not like You're Going to Mars!. Let me tell you why, because your mileage may vary.
1. Story
This one might be down to me having the wrong mindset going in, but I was expecting more space-faring sci-fi and less dystopian game-shows. This entire story read like a cotton candy version of The Hunger Games. It spends about 80% of its runtime talking about who is going to Mars, and only 20% of actually getting there. I would have preferred it the other way around. I'm also not that big a fan of game-show stories, as they always tend to use the same tropes over and over.
What's even worse is the liberal use of deus-ex-machina to get the MC out of trouble and the predictable plot twists that actually got annoying by the end.
2. Characters
This is where this book really falls apart for me. All of the characters, both main and side are just 1 dimensional cardboard cutouts of the tropes required for their role, worsened by the fact that, with the exception of the 2 "bad" guys (who were obviously totally and unequivocally bad), EVERYONE secretly has a heart of gold and just wants to hug it out all of the time. This type of feel-good, warm-and-fuzzy story didn't entertain me in The Long Way to a Small, Angry Planet and it still doesn't. It's not helped that all the characters seem to act like teenagers in a classroom, even the so-called adults are either all-bad or all-good, with no middle ground.
3. Writing
The writing is a bit of a coin on its side. The flow and writing is actually pretty good and works really well to make the story go down easy. Nothing to difficult though, don't expect high prose here, when I say it makes it go down easy, I truly mean it just like that, it simplifies everything so you don't really have to think about it.
There was one instance where this was glaringly obvious, and if I would go back I would probably find more, but this one stood out as a sore thumb:
There’s a pause, I don’t know if I imagine these things, continually anthropomorphizing Martha, projecting humanity and personality on to her, but it feels like a pause to me.
I'm pretty sure there's a name for this technique, but I'm reading a novel here, not a dictionary. Either I know the word, and adding its explanation is just patronizing, or I don't know it, and I'll look it up, or it becomes obvious from the context, but this really tripped me up.
There also seems to be a pacing issue near the final 20% of the book, as if the author had to stay within a certain page limit. Suddenly everything has to go really fast, there's no embellishment, or build-up any more, we just get event after event, either completely overdone, where the words feel hollow or completely underdone, where it just feels like we're tying up loose ends, just because we have to. In the last bits of the book there are multiple consecutive chapters that are only half a page long and it felt rushed and hollowed out. Deadline maybe?
Conclusion
If you're the type of person that enjoys simple stories with plenty of feel-good moments and like to hug your books because of the UwU overload, you'll love this. It's an easy read, with simple characters, a simple story and simple plot twists. Kinda like a Disney kid show. I, however, didn't like it.
October 22, 2019
Fun read. Enjoyed the world and characters that made the story interesting. Recommended.
December 14, 2018
THANK YOU for writing a book about a girl competing in a "game" that does NOT require the deaths of the other participants in order for a victor to be declared.
In case it's not obvious, I'm not a fan of the Hunger Games, or Survivor, or pretty much any reality shows in which the contestants must stab each other in the back and resort to other negative behaviors in order to win.
I loved that this book took the reality show concept and showed how people can win by cooperating and generally acting like decent human beings to one another.
I would have liked the book even more if it had done a bit more to emphasize the conflict inherent in the background of the main character. Given the world the author has created, I think the main character would have faced a lot more prejudice from the other contestants and that would have made for a more nuanced story.
Not as funny as his other books, but still recommendable for young girls; it would be a good book for any 10-12 year old girl who likes science and science fiction.
[This is available only as an Audible book performed by Khristine Hvam, who did a good job with all the different voices. Not sure about her choice for the voice of Zach Larson, but all the other characters felt spot on].
In case it's not obvious, I'm not a fan of the Hunger Games, or Survivor, or pretty much any reality shows in which the contestants must stab each other in the back and resort to other negative behaviors in order to win.
I loved that this book took the reality show concept and showed how people can win by cooperating and generally acting like decent human beings to one another.
I would have liked the book even more if it had done a bit more to emphasize the conflict inherent in the background of the main character. Given the world the author has created, I think the main character would have faced a lot more prejudice from the other contestants and that would have made for a more nuanced story.
Not as funny as his other books, but still recommendable for young girls; it would be a good book for any 10-12 year old girl who likes science and science fiction.
[This is available only as an Audible book performed by Khristine Hvam, who did a good job with all the different voices. Not sure about her choice for the voice of Zach Larson, but all the other characters felt spot on].
February 25, 2020
Damn, Rob Dircks can write! I have loved just about everything he's written and eagerly await the release of anything new. 'You're Going to Mars!" takes place is the nearly distant dystopian future. Huge mega corporations have acquired land, vast tracts of land, Staten Island for example. They've turned these places into their own fiefdoms separate and detached from the laws of the countries that surround them. The residents are permanent indentured servants, contracts were signed giving the company rights to the family for generations. These poorest of the poor eck out a living harvesting the garbage the entire island is covered in. Usable goods are salvaged and sold off the rest is fodder for the fuel and fertilizer they produce. Among these Fillers is Paper (and her sisters Rock and Scissors. . . a bad joke went sideways at their birth). Paper looks to the stars. Paper dreams of better things.
A multi-mega-gazillionaire is planning a privatized trip to mars and holds a Charlie & the Chocolate Factory like Red Scarab hunt, lucky winners will compete to be on the first manned mission to Mars.
Paper's family, including her estranged mother, conspire to find her a winning Scarab and she's off to the competition under an alias as Fillers are never allowed to leave their compounds. But something's wrong. Someone doesn't want this manned mission to get off the ground and they'll do anything to stop it.
The competitions are believable, the characters rich and fleshed out. Dialog is fantastic, they talk like real people. I devoured this book in record time for me these days. Five stars. Great stuff!
A multi-mega-gazillionaire is planning a privatized trip to mars and holds a Charlie & the Chocolate Factory like Red Scarab hunt, lucky winners will compete to be on the first manned mission to Mars.
Paper's family, including her estranged mother, conspire to find her a winning Scarab and she's off to the competition under an alias as Fillers are never allowed to leave their compounds. But something's wrong. Someone doesn't want this manned mission to get off the ground and they'll do anything to stop it.
The competitions are believable, the characters rich and fleshed out. Dialog is fantastic, they talk like real people. I devoured this book in record time for me these days. Five stars. Great stuff!
January 12, 2019
Synopsis: Multi-generation indentured servitude is legal in areas where land had been given over to a company. The world has stopped using nuclear and renewable powers and relies entirely on methane produced from trash by a single company. People don't care about the slaves working there at all. Meanwhile, technology has progressed a lot in certain areas (Star Trek style healing wands), an went back to the 1950s in others with apparently no baseline scientific research. The main character, a technical genius, who cannot handle a good portion of the most simple technical tasks and problems, dreams about going to Mars. The "filthy rich superguy" of the time prepares a private trip to Mars (in a time when nobody looks farther than satellites) and leaves one spot open for the winner of his reality show, where players are (mostly) randomly selected from the population. That's the best way to find reliable, physically adept astronauts after all. This is just the blurb.
To go on in style: I read the first few chapters and I can't help but wonder how the entire population of Earth has become so brainwashed. Not thinking past their TV shows, slowly flowing toward them as many decades before. Oblivious of the world around them, and refusing to think past the next episode. Will I ever get past these chapters, or am I doomed to wander aimlessly between the musing paragraphs, like a filler between the mountains of trash? Will I ever see my family again, or do they have to remember me by our last family picture taken with us knee deep in filth? I can't help and shed some tears at the thought of going to the next page, with my fears that I may never be able to reach the end of the book, despite dreaming of it for so long. I remember as all my brothers, sisters and friends built plastic-sand castle and played hide-n-seek in the cavities of waste, while I was reading the torn pieces of advertisements.
Only taking a break when Nana, sweet Nana, called us in to eat her horrible drain-paste humus. All family sitting at the table, trying not to vomit and laughing at our stories from the day. [64kB of further aimless musing cut because of forum engined limitations]
For once, let me include a gif:
I think you get the point...
You could easily cut one-third of the book without losing anything. Sometimes you spend more time reading about her repetitive and aimless internal musings about friends, family, love and betrayal, than with the actual story. And the worst thing is that these never make any difference. The MC is just daydreaming until somebody pokes her to wake up, and the story picks up where it was interrupted.
Everything is filled with illogical decisions and clearly never thought through or researched technical bits or background. All characters act like... erm... mildly educated teenagers. I will include a selection from these problems at the end of the review in a spoiler section.
The list of problems is so long that it's hard to decide where to begin. Well, the first thing that struck me was the present tense.
To date, I've only read one book where PT was good. Apart from that one, it feels just simple, uneducated. Written for/by reality show people.
The characters are not just simpletons, but cliche one-dimensional. Their actions predictable all across the book. The only instance where the author tries to play around a bit is the relationship of the MC and Aurora.
The story is as far away from hard sci-fi as it gets. That's not a problem in itself. There are loads of such good novels, but those concentrate on other areas and are only set in a sci-fi environment. This book, OTOH, is trying to add technical bits that only make you cry in frustration.
The single reason I finished this book is my unhealthy compulsion to finish books.
Things I liked:
NULL
Things I didn't like:
- Present tense.
- Constant NOOP musings.
- Simple, one-dimensional characters.
- Predictable storyline.
- Technically, socially senseless.
- The story practically jumps over a huge section of non-trivial story with a snap of a finger and spends a chapter with dripping happy end.
Examples of problems (mostly, but not perfectly in order of the story):
July 4, 2021
I was a bit hesitant on reading this book at first. I don't typically pick up books that fall more towards the sci-fi and space related topics. Also the whole game show aspect. You can find so many book similar to Hunger Games, where you have a competition but so many people have to die and suffer. There seems to be more bloodshed than actual competitions between the contestants. This competition is more like Willy Wonk's chocolate race and the TV show Survivor met up and made a show. It would be a show listed as 'family focused' but would show with a warning showing on occasion that 'viewer discretion is advised' for this episode. Especially for some of the competitions that the players have to face. I really liked this approach to the Race for Reward type storyline. You weren't wincing every little step from someone getting physically damaged or bleeding out, but actually being able to read through the story easily.
Overall, I did enjoy this book, but I did feel like it was a bit rushed towards the end. The beginning of the book started off at a good speed. You were able to get a Paper's background and character development. We follow along with her struggles of getting to the competition and what she has to face in order to make that a possibility. Then you have the entire competition itself with the deep and personal effects it has on our character. Paper's story becomes quite involved for the reader. Then with the last third of the book it seemed like the entire store was sped up and rushed. The author probably could have stretched some things out or given some more information to other parts that seemed a bit too short and not given enough time.
The hardest bit for me to read was - what I considered a cheap toss in - the supposed romance in the book. The romance that happens in the book seems to be a bit random and really doesn't have enough character development for the said "love interest" to develop into anything substantial. I did get a little mad at how that entire thing happened and the complete acceptance the characters had towards it. But I won't say any more on that front. I don't want to spoil the book's secrets to you all!
Overall, I did enjoy this book, but I did feel like it was a bit rushed towards the end. The beginning of the book started off at a good speed. You were able to get a Paper's background and character development. We follow along with her struggles of getting to the competition and what she has to face in order to make that a possibility. Then you have the entire competition itself with the deep and personal effects it has on our character. Paper's story becomes quite involved for the reader. Then with the last third of the book it seemed like the entire store was sped up and rushed. The author probably could have stretched some things out or given some more information to other parts that seemed a bit too short and not given enough time.
The hardest bit for me to read was - what I considered a cheap toss in - the supposed romance in the book. The romance that happens in the book seems to be a bit random and really doesn't have enough character development for the said "love interest" to develop into anything substantial. I did get a little mad at how that entire thing happened and the complete acceptance the characters had towards it. But I won't say any more on that front. I don't want to spoil the book's secrets to you all!
December 18, 2018
This was a genuine blast! A comedic sci-fi take on the Charlie and the Chocolate Factory story with a female protagonist. Even though Ready Player One was similarly-themed, this book is about as different as you can get, and in many ways a better book. Wacky, often laugh-out-loud funny, but smart, with a very likable heroine. Brought to mind the humor of Kurt Vonnegut, Carl Hiaasen, and Christopher Moore. I almost gave it four stars because it's admittedly not amazing literature, but since these ratings are about how much I personally enjoyed a book, I'm going with five stars and adding it to favorites. That's just how much fun I had with it! I'll definitely be checking out more by this author.
March 12, 2021
Its a good challenging book.
If Big Brother meet NASA and had a Survivor baby... It would be this book. No aliens, or spacehip crazy stuff but its very scientific, it may have you googl8ng a few things while trying to figure out the mysterious plotter(s) and some weirs fsmily dynamics.
I was only annoyed at the very end because I wanted to know one thing sbout the MC in the end but they disnt touch on it...then again... I think they didnt go into that because... She's a Filler and no matter what... That will never change.
If Big Brother meet NASA and had a Survivor baby... It would be this book. No aliens, or spacehip crazy stuff but its very scientific, it may have you googl8ng a few things while trying to figure out the mysterious plotter(s) and some weirs fsmily dynamics.
I was only annoyed at the very end because I wanted to know one thing sbout the MC in the end but they disnt touch on it...then again... I think they didnt go into that because... She's a Filler and no matter what... That will never change.
March 13, 2020
I quite enjoyed this book, the story, most of the characters and just the writing and flow of it. I was up all night and listened to this, and really liked it.
December 1, 2018
*I was provided with a free copy of this audiobook in exchange for an honest review*
I'm a Dircks fan. This was a fun story with great characters. I found it less funny, but more engaging than the Tesla books. ...Still can't wait for another Tesla book.
Hvam is one of my favorite narrators.... but ooooo that singing. lol
I'm a Dircks fan. This was a fun story with great characters. I found it less funny, but more engaging than the Tesla books. ...Still can't wait for another Tesla book.
Hvam is one of my favorite narrators.... but ooooo that singing. lol
March 24, 2023
Listened on audible at 1.5 speed. The narrator on audible was very good at the different voices. Really had me immersed. I don’t think I would have been as engaged if I had read this myself because some aspects of the characters and plot twists were a little bit maybe predictable? Still an excellent story Really good at invoking emotions anyways.
October 5, 2019
I'm really upset this story is over. To me it was perfect! It had everything I look for in a book. Thank you so much Rob Dircks for this heart warming story! I am going to miss Paper so much.
January 9, 2020
This audiobook was quite funny. The plot is pretty easy to figure out, but the characters are really interesting. They're a strange bunch, and I liked getting to know them.
September 3, 2019
I love books like this. The fun and joyful ride through this story is filled with whimsical and magical moments. It has a very clear plot and throws in the occasional left turn plot twist that you don't see coming. But, what I like most of all about books like this is how the author ties in everything with wonderful, sweet, tender moments. It's these heartfelt moments that give life to the characters. This book is like a piece of tasty candy and I can't wait to have another bite.
December 13, 2018
I have been a fan of Mr. Dircks works from his premiere release “The Wrong Unit”, to his “Where the Hell is Tesla” series, along with many of his short stories released by his publishing company Goldfinch Publishing. If you have not visited his site or signed up for the free shorts, I highly recommend you do as these often fill that science fiction gap when you need it. It might come as no surprise that this award-winning author has hit yet another home run with his latest work entitled, “You’re going to Mars!”. Although I have very much enjoyed Mr. Dircks’ narration of his previous works, this book does not follow that tradition and is instead skillfully and outstandingly narrated by Khristine Hvam. She is no stranger to the audiobook scene with over two-hundred and fifty books narrated on Audible at the time of this review. As only Mr. Dircks can do, this story is a well-crafted mash up of humor, loss, suspense, survival, and even love told in a way that is both engaging and entertaining. If you have listened and enjoyed any of the author’s previous titles, picking up this book is not optional; but a must. If you have never listened to any of his works, shame on you! This is a great book to begin a delve into the many colorful science fiction worlds created by Mr. Dircks. What am I trying to say? Simple, go get the audiobook and give it a listen, it really is that good and well worth your hard-earned credit.
Take a futuristic world where the real money is still found in those who control the planet’s waste and trash; much like our world today. In this dystopian realm we have people that must work to survive, and most are indentured servants from generations past. Being raised in this environment means that one has a limited understanding of things taking place on the outside. Not only do you have your standard growing up struggles, but a mother who left years ago. The family is raised by a father, sisters and a 97-year old (nanna) grandmother who makes things happen. I know that was always the case in my family. If you wanted something, go ask nanna. Even in such a harsh environment, our main character has dreams and aspirations of one day going to Mars. An impossible and unachievable goal in her current circumstance. By shear happenstance our main character has her biggest dream almost in her grasp. Does she get to Mars? Well, you will have to read the book to find out.
So, what is the book really like? The best way I can describe it is a combination of “Charlie and the Chocolate factory”, a bit of “Mad Max”, and a fair amount of reality TV; much in the way of Survivor, Big Brother, etc. We have a dysfunctional family who interacts with one another often via numerous pokes, jabs, zings, and disses, yet they have to come together as one to accomplish their goals. Not only the family, but we see a large number of people willing to sacrifice and suffer to fulfill the dreams of our main character. We are given a view into an evil corporation trying to control everyone and everything, yet has a hard time suppressing the activities of a rather wealthy and eccentric TV producer. It sounds like a very odd mash up, but Mr. Dircks makes it work and I enjoyed it all the way through. At times it is very slap-stick and light-hearted, but there are time of deep emotion, seriousness, and pain. The author adds elements of suspense and surprise and even some whodunit mystery with a few of the contestant members. I can say this is a story that only Mr. Dircks could pull off and it is very enjoyable. The writing is detailed and entertaining like many of the author’s other material. The twists and turns he weaves into the story are subtle and clever. The scenes are vivid and detailed.
I like his ability to make fun of pop culture and reality TV while not making them the center of the story. We see all the crazy and salacious activities people will do to get more views, likes, or publicity on the show. Often at the detriment of their lives and morals. The show in the story reminded me a little of Fear Factor where the contestants needed to eat or perform an unnerving stunt to win. Often such activities led to people vomiting all over; and in this book it is not very different. Events like these often makes for ‘good’ TV, but we see that our main character has a laser focus on her goal of one day getting to Mars. She is not one to play the game unfairly but realizes that being the only one to follow the rules may be to her loss. I had to laugh out loud when one character makes a reference to Star Wars episode 15, and in many ways that is not far off after the Disney purchase. We are also treated to how these shows are sponsored; this one by the beet foundation. The funny thing is that one actually exists, I never knew. Who also knew that it was a mother’s duty to correct their child’s grammar in life? As I look back, I have to say this is also true.
The book’s audio narration by Khristine Hvam is near perfect. The audio quality and performance were smooth and seamless. Her ability to voice the many different characters and give them all unique personalities was done very well. I have grown to be a fan of Mr. Dircks narrating his own works and although many authors are unable to be successful at both, I was happy to hear a female narrate this book. I will say that Mrs. Hvam gave the book emotion, feelings, and life. She did a good job of enhancing this already well-writing piece of fiction. I look forward to listening to more works by her in the future.
For parents and younger readers, be aware the book does contain a fair amount of vulgar language in various places. A few scenes also contain mature material referencing sexual portions of the human body. There is also some graphic violence that may not be appropriate or quite scary for younger readers.
In summary, the book is one of adventure and discovery. Although it is not a coming of age story per se, it does follow our main character as she grows and matures due to her circumstances. You want so badly to see her accomplish her goals, yet there are so many obstacles she much overcome first to get there. We also see how such cannot be accomplished in a vacuum, but requires the help of others (family, friends, and co-workers) to achieve. As I said earlier, you cannot go wrong giving this book a listen if you like science fiction and great writing. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.
Take a futuristic world where the real money is still found in those who control the planet’s waste and trash; much like our world today. In this dystopian realm we have people that must work to survive, and most are indentured servants from generations past. Being raised in this environment means that one has a limited understanding of things taking place on the outside. Not only do you have your standard growing up struggles, but a mother who left years ago. The family is raised by a father, sisters and a 97-year old (nanna) grandmother who makes things happen. I know that was always the case in my family. If you wanted something, go ask nanna. Even in such a harsh environment, our main character has dreams and aspirations of one day going to Mars. An impossible and unachievable goal in her current circumstance. By shear happenstance our main character has her biggest dream almost in her grasp. Does she get to Mars? Well, you will have to read the book to find out.
So, what is the book really like? The best way I can describe it is a combination of “Charlie and the Chocolate factory”, a bit of “Mad Max”, and a fair amount of reality TV; much in the way of Survivor, Big Brother, etc. We have a dysfunctional family who interacts with one another often via numerous pokes, jabs, zings, and disses, yet they have to come together as one to accomplish their goals. Not only the family, but we see a large number of people willing to sacrifice and suffer to fulfill the dreams of our main character. We are given a view into an evil corporation trying to control everyone and everything, yet has a hard time suppressing the activities of a rather wealthy and eccentric TV producer. It sounds like a very odd mash up, but Mr. Dircks makes it work and I enjoyed it all the way through. At times it is very slap-stick and light-hearted, but there are time of deep emotion, seriousness, and pain. The author adds elements of suspense and surprise and even some whodunit mystery with a few of the contestant members. I can say this is a story that only Mr. Dircks could pull off and it is very enjoyable. The writing is detailed and entertaining like many of the author’s other material. The twists and turns he weaves into the story are subtle and clever. The scenes are vivid and detailed.
I like his ability to make fun of pop culture and reality TV while not making them the center of the story. We see all the crazy and salacious activities people will do to get more views, likes, or publicity on the show. Often at the detriment of their lives and morals. The show in the story reminded me a little of Fear Factor where the contestants needed to eat or perform an unnerving stunt to win. Often such activities led to people vomiting all over; and in this book it is not very different. Events like these often makes for ‘good’ TV, but we see that our main character has a laser focus on her goal of one day getting to Mars. She is not one to play the game unfairly but realizes that being the only one to follow the rules may be to her loss. I had to laugh out loud when one character makes a reference to Star Wars episode 15, and in many ways that is not far off after the Disney purchase. We are also treated to how these shows are sponsored; this one by the beet foundation. The funny thing is that one actually exists, I never knew. Who also knew that it was a mother’s duty to correct their child’s grammar in life? As I look back, I have to say this is also true.
The book’s audio narration by Khristine Hvam is near perfect. The audio quality and performance were smooth and seamless. Her ability to voice the many different characters and give them all unique personalities was done very well. I have grown to be a fan of Mr. Dircks narrating his own works and although many authors are unable to be successful at both, I was happy to hear a female narrate this book. I will say that Mrs. Hvam gave the book emotion, feelings, and life. She did a good job of enhancing this already well-writing piece of fiction. I look forward to listening to more works by her in the future.
For parents and younger readers, be aware the book does contain a fair amount of vulgar language in various places. A few scenes also contain mature material referencing sexual portions of the human body. There is also some graphic violence that may not be appropriate or quite scary for younger readers.
In summary, the book is one of adventure and discovery. Although it is not a coming of age story per se, it does follow our main character as she grows and matures due to her circumstances. You want so badly to see her accomplish her goals, yet there are so many obstacles she much overcome first to get there. We also see how such cannot be accomplished in a vacuum, but requires the help of others (family, friends, and co-workers) to achieve. As I said earlier, you cannot go wrong giving this book a listen if you like science fiction and great writing. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.
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