Therapy: Vintage Minis

by Stephen Grosz

‘I want to change, but not if it means changing,' a patient once said to me in complete innocenceWhat do we do when we find ourselves trapped by our own thoughts or behaviour? Drawing on his twenty-five years’ experience as a psychoanalyst, Stephen Grosz ushers the reader through the door of his consulting room and into the minds of his patients. In these beautifully told cases we find compulsive liars, deceived spouses, violent children and delusional adults but we also find ourselves and in doing so, understand a little more about what it is to be human.Selected from The Examined Life .VINTAGE GREAT MINDS. BIG IDEAS. LITTLE BOOKS.A series of short books by the world’s greatest writers on the experiences that make us humanDiscover the Vintage Minis ‘Head Space’ Recovery by Helen MacdonaldFamily by Mark Haddon

Genres: Nonfiction, Psychology, Self Help, Book Club, Mental Health

Kindle Edition

Published April 4, 2019

About the author

Stephen Grosz is a practicing psychoanalyst—he has worked with patients for more than twenty-five years. Born in America, educated at the University of California, Berkeley, and at Oxford University, he lives in London. A Sunday Times bestseller, The Examined Life is his first book.

Reviews

[Maryam · Rating 4 out of 5]

این کتاب با عنوان "درمان" و ترجمه‌‌ی فاطمه حسینی غفاری توسط نشر هنوز چاپ شده. (اینجا نتونستم پیداش کنم)

کتاب فوق‌العاده‌ست. به شدت پیشنهاد می‌شه. مثل کارهای یالوم درباره‌ی جلسات روانکاوی هست و به شدت خواندنی و خوش‌خوان با ترجمه فوق‌العاده و چاپ خوب. ۴ از ۵.
پایان: پنج‌شنبه ۰۲.۰۷.۲۵ ۴:۲۵ صبح

چاپ اورجینال این کتاب، جزو کتاب‌های مجموعه vintage نشر penguin هست، کلا مجموعه‌ی بسیار خوبی هست.

[Clementine · Rating 4 out of 5]

I felt that some of these stories ended a bit too abruptly, but Grosz's writing is fascinating, humane, and moving. A nice little book to read in an afternoon.

[Adele · Rating 3 out of 5]

I reckon they should have dedicated more pages to each story. Each story could have been as long as the whole book.

[aimee thompson · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was genuinely so impactful. The slightly abrupt and harsh writing style added to the punch of each story! Regret finishing this at work, I felt so full of emotion I could’ve wept! People are life! I feel it!

[Eve Batten · Rating 4 out of 5]

A short easy read.

[Zumrud Huseynova · Rating 4 out of 5]

...change and loss are deeply connected- there cannot be change without loss.

The philosopher Simon Weil describes how two prisoners in adjoining cells learn, over a very long period of time, to talk to each other by tapping on the wall. "The wall is the thing which separates them, but it is also their means of communication," she writes. "Every separation is a link."

Experience has taught me that our childhoods leave in us stories like this - stories we never found a way to voice, because no one helped us to find the words. When we cannot find a way of telling our story, our story tells us - we dream these stories, we develop symptoms, or we find ourselves acting in ways we don't understand.

As he spoke, I had a mental image of a small boy switching on a nightlight, not because he wants to be able to find his parents during the night, but because he fears his parents will forget him - lose him - in the dark.

She lived here more than sixty years, but this was never home.

He told me that he found realism, no matter how painful, was almost always more reassuring than reassurance.

Live well while you can, die well when you have to.

[Sarah · Rating 4 out of 5]

If you need a human reminder of what it’s like to try and be a better you then this small vintage wonder is the perfect insight into moments of real humans trying to talk through the things we all are sometimes too scared to talk about - our inner true thoughts, feelings and honest truths. Be it good or bad this is an excellent read for anyone wanting to people watch through the words of someone who knows what they’re talking about.

[Sasha · Rating 4 out of 5]

Kwetsbare en eerlijke verhalen die illustreren hoe mensen zichzelf verliezen en uiteindelijk terugvinden. Goede balans van schrijnende stukken, humor en af en toe een traan. Mooi hoe de patiënten van Grosz hem laat reflecteren op zijn eigen leven, herinneringen, normen en waarden. Soms miste ik meer inzichten maar dan moet ik misschien gewoon het boek The Examined Life lezen. Voor fans van Oliver Sacks.

[Sam Mars · Rating 3 out of 5]

Therapy was an easy read. With continuous surface level analysis and unique perspectives on Freudian psychoanalysis within the case studies. 3 star review as the book could have gone deeper into the subjects. This book is a good introduction to analytical thought without confusing the reader.

[Emma Filtness · Rating 3 out of 5]

Interesting little anecdotes that offer some insight into the process of analysis.

[Ellie violet · Rating 4 out of 5]

Such an interesting book! The quote at the start ‘I want to change, but not if it means changing’ does simply capture trying to battle mental health, especially addiction. Very much recommend.

[Abigail · Rating 5 out of 5]

Enjoyed this and was gutted when it ended, way too short !! I thought that it would be really clinical and read like a journal article but it wasn’t like that at all, sooo interesting

[Robbie Wilson · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wonderful book. Short and deeply fascinating. Can't wait to read The Examined Life

[Constance McRobert-Smith · Rating 4 out of 5]

Flew through this book quickly

The stories are raw and provoking

I like how Grosz reflected on his own bias, however I started to lose interest during dream interpretation

Obviously this man has been in psychoanalysis for a long time but dream interpretation is still heavily doubted, and I felt some of it in this book was far fetched/grasping at straws...

HOWEVER the book was written very well and I would still recommend it to anyone looking for some disturbing insights into the absurd human mind

[Asma Khadraoui · Rating 3 out of 5]

"Therapy" by Stephen Grosz is an insightful book that offers readers a glimpse into the inner workings of psychotherapy.

The book is a collection of case studies from Grosz's many years of experience as a psychoanalyst, and it highlights the power of therapy in helping people understand their thoughts, feelings, and behaviors.

One of the strengths of the book is how Grosz is able to weave together each case study to create a larger narrative about the human experience. Each chapter delves into a specific patient's story, but the overarching themes of love, loss, and identity are present throughout the book.

One potential weakness of the book is that it may be too focused on psychoanalytic theory for some readers. Grosz is a psychoanalyst, and his approach to therapy is heavily influenced by this tradition. While he does touch on other forms of therapy, such as cognitive-behavioral therapy, the book may be less appealing to readers who are not interested in psychoanalytic theory.
________
الكتاب يحكي على تجربة جروز (الكاتب) في العمل كمعالج نفسي و يستخدم تجاربه وقصص مرضاه ليوضح كيف يمكن للأشخاص التغلب على التحديات وتطوير فهم أفضل لأنفسهم وللآخرين. يستكشف الكتاب العديد من المواضيع المهمة مثل فقدان الأشياء والتحولات في الحياة والعلاقات وأزمات الذات و برشا مواضيع أخرى. كتاب قصير (عدد الصفحات: 100)، تنجم تقراه فيساع، خاصة إذا كنت مهتم بعلم النفس. الكتابة و اللغة في المتناول.

[afshh · Rating 5 out of 5]

Psychoanalysis, as it was taught at my university, is something of a pariah branch of psychology. My uni was very into the scientific method and you cannot really prove that psychoanalysis works or is real via scientific method, which explains the distance. That said, I don’t necessarily think you can prove psychoanalysis doesn’t work or isn’t real either.

This was honestly fun to read bc Grosz writes and explains his analyses of patients really well and the logic behind it all is fascinating. Pariah branch or no, a lot of the conclusions that Grosz reaches are poignant and worth reflection.

[Paddy · Rating 4 out of 5]

I'm sure I picked this up because I've been thinking about therapy more recently. In part because my friend's started it and she's had the expected relationship with it.

Reading this, it made me simultaneously want to start therapy immediately and never go. The first half I found captivating, each story a nugget of wisdom. But by the end (though the last chapter is the best example of what each chapter is trying to explain) it felt a bit too neat. Is this what psychoanalysis is? Locating a dream or memory or trauma and ascribing that patient's behaviour to that event? Can it be as simple as that? To be honest, I hope so. But it feels unlikely.

To be fair, this is a 'vintage mini', which provides sections from an author's wider work. In this case, sections from Grosz's 'The Examined Life'. It'd be interesting to read that to see whether it strays further from the repetitive formula presented here, embracing a bit more of the messiness.

Anyway, I picked this up in an artsy-leftist bookshop on a Saturday in New Cross after spending an afternoon at Goldsmiths library. There's a revolving 'Verso' display that holds lots of smaller, 100-120 pagers. Penguin's 'Good ideas' or whatever it is, which inclues Orwell's evergreen Why I Write. I went back again today, having spent less of an afternoon at the library again, and picked up another. That'd be a good routine to get into.

[Apeksha Mehta · Rating 5 out of 5]

I am absolutely in love with this book.
The author describes 14 different thoughts and behavioural problems through the stories of his patients. He talks about what happens inside the consulting room. Patients from different age groups are presented. He also tells us about his life a bit. It's an insightful and fascinating read. While reading, one could understand what it means to be human.

Few quotes from the book, told by patients and author, are:

"Live well while you can, die well when you have to."
-
"Dad, I think it's just that things that seemed big to us as kids look smaller when we see them again as adults'"
-
"All sorrows can be borne if you put them into a story or tell a story about them. But what if a person can't tell a story about his sorrows? What if his story tells him?"
-
"Now, as many of the patients I saw when I was young are gone or dead, but sometimes, as when waking from a dream, I find myself reaching out to them, wanting to say one more thing."

[Giv · Rating 5 out of 5]

My favourite chapter is the one where the author talks about his father's attempt at concealing the horror of the war he experienced in his childhood. Of course the other stories were equally real and gripping.

Love how the author talks about how he still remembers some of his clients and at times, wondering how they are now.. i guess as therapists, we are emotionally closest to our clients with so many gritty details shared by clients about their lives, and this emotional intimacy also weaves into the therapists' own personal lives unknowingly. Sometimes I thought about my clients subconsciously, about certain stories they told me, sometimes certain people I met in my personal lives remind me of my clients...

I felt that the author adopted a very Freudian method in his psychotherapy, how he used dreams to make meanings.. it's interesting how he struggles at times with "boring" clients..

I just wish each story has a longer or rather less abrupt ending..

[Mahnoor Javed · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book to me places. Into the minds of bewildered, angered, depressed and grieving people. All having the need to reach out and find some sort of comfort or awareness in therapy.
It tells the tales of many people doing what the human race has been struggling with since it's inception: struggle, against what often translates to being just human. Impending death, relational distress, loss of identity and the use of denial are some of the issues discussed (very relatable issues, at that).
The way Grosz holds space for their often overwhelming emotions is commendable in this text.
It left me feeling hopeful and apprehensive about my own future practice (I'm a trainee therapist).
Being in this profession is indeed a tricky and demanding feat. For both the client and the therapist.
As one of his client points out, 'I want to change, but not if it means changing.'

[Jose · Rating 3 out of 5]

I wish I could give a star more, but I wish there was “more”! Grosz writes in a very captivating way, and I read nearly the entire book in a single sitting. The words tell us he has sat with each patient for a long time, gruellingly boring at times, slow, without progress or even regress, but because each chapter ends so swiftly with an insight, lesson learned, or general solution - it could feel at times like watching an episode of a generic show - it somehow always ends with some sort of a palatable solution. I’m not sure how that could have been solved, maybe more details how his job beyond these conversations works, professional growth throughout, maybe more boring details slowing down our time as a reader learning about each patient, so we might feel the layers, effort and hours of time to unravelling.

[Georgie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Fascinating and very insightful despite the fact I'm not sure my views align with that of psychoanalysts. Written in a dreamy prose, half narrative and half observation. Strangely, sitting in the living room this Saturday afternoon finishing these case studies, the one of the man with AIDS sleeping in his sessions as a way of feeling safe/prolonging the present lingered in my mind. Then I suddenly felt drowsy, overcome by an involuntary sleepiness and my eyelids drooped in a way they only ever do when I've not slept the night before. I simply drifted into a nap, I never nap, very peculiar....

[Saswati Saha Mitra · Rating 5 out of 5]

Therapy by Stephen Grosz is sheer dynamite!

Grosz is a psychotherapist who shares some of the best short pieces about human frailty and delusion I have read, based on his first hand exposure to patients.

The 14 stories left me so stunned that I needed a day or two to just process how simple yet complex, naive but nuanced they were.

My favourite one was On Laughter where a woman who cannot have a

[Zac · Rating 3 out of 5]

fascinating and I would give a 4/5 on our entertainment but I have some personal gripes with the validity of psychoanalysis from the contemporary view of psychiatry and because it's really presented without much question of its validity, Ill put it at a 3/5. Of course I understand the author is a medical professional in psychoanalysis, but some of the leaps in logic seem pretty intense based purely on the content in each account

[Laura · Rating 2 out of 5]

I found this book lacking depth. I understamd that Stephen Grosz uses psychoanalysis instead of psychotherapy and focuses on the unconscious of the mind. But the way he interprets his clients' stories feels shallow. It's a lot of assumptions, jumping from one event to another. After reading each story, I was left unsure what the actual conclusions were.

[bee · Rating 5 out of 5]

outstanding. such an eye opener too to psychiactric practise and the experiences of others. would recommend this to anyone interested in psychology. definitely could've finished it in one sitting were I not so busy, but in saying that I couldn't put it down! remarkable, could talk about it for hours

[Monika Pavčová · Rating 4 out of 5]

Maybe if I did not read Yalom before this I would rate it 5/5.
The stories too are short and not deep enough. Like the first session at psychologist when you want to say enough to get little help but not everything.
However, I really recommend to read. Just do not read Yalom before this particular one.
But it is just mine subjective opinion. ☺️

[Max · Rating 5 out of 5]

A fantastic collection of fascinating, short retellings and subsequent musings of a successful therapist about the cases and people that stuck with him the most. Many of the short chapters managed to move me deeply, and more importantly, some inspired introspection much deeper than to be expected from a book of mere 100 pages. Probably the best non-fiction book I have ever read.

[Frank Rensen · Rating 4 out of 5]

A good introduction to the various things we do and feel and tell ourselves, or neglect to, and why. Some stories are touching, others are frustrating, but all insightful in some unique way. They are all short samplers of something bigger, the author's career in psychotherapy.

[Agy Zvirbule · Rating 4 out of 5]

Vairāki mazi stāsti, no terapeita sesijām. Interesanti, kur klejo mūsu domas, sajūtas. Kā tulkojam savas domas, sapņus, pārliecības. Šī grāmata, jo vairāk radīja pārliecību par to, cik vērtīgi ir laiku pa laikam savas domas pārrunāt ar kādu citu, ne tikai ar sevi, savā galvā.