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How to Win Friends and Influence People
"Real heroes never quit. Real villains never die"
After the war, Hermione discovered she liked to break things; bones, specifically. Similarly, Draco, whose life had crumbled to rubble, became fascinated with explosives. Dramione, post-war, espionage AU.
After the war, Hermione discovered she liked to break things; bones, specifically. Similarly, Draco, whose life had crumbled to rubble, became fascinated with explosives. Dramione, post-war, espionage AU.
1546 pages, ebook
Published June 15, 2017
74 people are currently reading
963 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 65 reviews
May 16, 2023
I’ve never been so conflicted in my life. On the one hand this was amazing, on the other it’s one of the most tedious things I’ve ever read. It took me months of perseverance to get through. Dramione this is not. Does it have Dramione? Yes. It also has every other fucker under the sun it a constant conveyor belt of POVs no one asked for. The plot is both incredible and monotonous - it’s so god damn clever but arrogantly so and to the point you just have to admit you don’t know what’s happening anymore. It becomes so dull so often, but then it’ll lure you back in with scenes that’ll have you crippled over laughing so hard you see stars. Everyone is damaged goods, the Dramione is so toxic, there’s about 25 people too many. But Charlie and Pansy? Sinfully delicious. NottPott? Devastatingly sweet. In a wild turn of events after 95% of wanting it to just be over and not connecting with everyone I cried at multiple points when storylines were coming to an end. It’s awful, it’s beautiful, I wish it never ended and I hope I never read it again.
July 20, 2021
Olivie Blake where have u been all my life, i swear when i found out she wrote ff i was scared of reading her actual novel which has been on my tbr for months! But her writing, storyline, characters and pairs. This women has done it all to perfection i could not put this down and i absolutly loved all the different pairings and aghhh the banter, the humor. Srsly wow!!!! Thank u for existing i honestly want to go through all her ff backlist and her actual novel, so wish me luck.
“I said that stupid thing about you doing my eulogy," he offered tangentially, "because I no longer see a version of my life that doesn't have you in it. I really don't know if that's love," he added, shaking his head. "I honestly don't. I'm pretty sure feelings aren't something I'm good at, and it's nothing I can really diagnose, but I know that in every possible outcome of my life, you're there. Not just there - you're it, actually. And I just - " A pause. "I don't see any way around it, so." A sigh. "I don't know what that means, exactly, but I know that's the truth. That's all of it.”
“You don't have to push me away," she told him. "Okay? I won't leave," she promised. "I'm not going to leave you.”
“I never lied to you," Cad reminded her, reaching out to tuck a curl behind her ear. "Not once, Daphne, and I won't - not ever!”
“I shouldn't have left her," he said.
"I shouldn't have left him," she agreed.
They turned, exchanging a glance.
"We have to go back, don't we?" Draco asked, and Mel smiled.
"Our heroes need us," she replied.”
Fav ff:
1. The debt of time
2. Manacled
3. Bring him to his knees
4. An unexpected Malfoy
5. Tip of my tongue
6. Measure of a man
7. Breath mints/Battle scars
8. Happy pills
9. How to win friends and influence people
10. A second look
“I said that stupid thing about you doing my eulogy," he offered tangentially, "because I no longer see a version of my life that doesn't have you in it. I really don't know if that's love," he added, shaking his head. "I honestly don't. I'm pretty sure feelings aren't something I'm good at, and it's nothing I can really diagnose, but I know that in every possible outcome of my life, you're there. Not just there - you're it, actually. And I just - " A pause. "I don't see any way around it, so." A sigh. "I don't know what that means, exactly, but I know that's the truth. That's all of it.”
“You don't have to push me away," she told him. "Okay? I won't leave," she promised. "I'm not going to leave you.”
“I never lied to you," Cad reminded her, reaching out to tuck a curl behind her ear. "Not once, Daphne, and I won't - not ever!”
“I shouldn't have left her," he said.
"I shouldn't have left him," she agreed.
They turned, exchanging a glance.
"We have to go back, don't we?" Draco asked, and Mel smiled.
"Our heroes need us," she replied.”
Fav ff:
1. The debt of time
2. Manacled
3. Bring him to his knees
4. An unexpected Malfoy
5. Tip of my tongue
6. Measure of a man
7. Breath mints/Battle scars
8. Happy pills
9. How to win friends and influence people
10. A second look
February 10, 2023
Olivie Blake is clearly a very talented writer, and at first I was totally sucked into the hilarious banter and clever plot. But then the book became a little bit too clever — all of the characters had the same sense of humor, the plot felt convoluted, and the last third became a total slog. A strong start and ultimately disappointing execution.
October 14, 2018
Cuando ya todo te vale pitos y acabas poniendo tu fanfiction leído en goodreads. (Bueno, no lo pongo todo, sólo lo novel-lenght, pero no leí 400K PALABRAS PARA QUE NO CUENTEN).
June 11, 2022
This story (available on FFN and AO3) is 400k words and I read it almost straight through. It's amazing. AMAZING. Olivie has a magical way of making you fall in love with every. freaking. character in a MASSIVE cast regardless of role as hero, anti-hero, villain, or clinically insane French cousin.
A bit of a synopsis:
While the story is largely touted as a Dramione (Harry Potter fan fiction with a Draco Malfoy/Hermione Granger romance), the attention given to the rest of the cast makes it impossible to say that it's "just" a Dramione. The list of POV characters alone stands at 22+ (seriously, 400k words), and maybe two feel a bit flat. And that's a pretty big 'maybe'.
Honestly, this is in my top 3 favorite fan fictions, and might very well be my all-time favorite. If you love Harry Potter, you want to see an ensemble cast done right, and you want to die laughing (this is the debut of Hortense and Thibaut Malfoy after all), this is the story to read.
For my Dramione shippers, the tropes employed are
A bit of a synopsis:
While the story is largely touted as a Dramione (Harry Potter fan fiction with a Draco Malfoy/Hermione Granger romance), the attention given to the rest of the cast makes it impossible to say that it's "just" a Dramione. The list of POV characters alone stands at 22+ (seriously, 400k words), and maybe two feel a bit flat. And that's a pretty big 'maybe'.
Honestly, this is in my top 3 favorite fan fictions, and might very well be my all-time favorite. If you love Harry Potter, you want to see an ensemble cast done right, and you want to die laughing (this is the debut of Hortense and Thibaut Malfoy after all), this is the story to read.
For my Dramione shippers, the tropes employed are
Read
November 29, 2024We aren't rating fics anymore, but I am still going to write a little review. Pardon my french, but what in the actual fuck just happened to me? I just read almost 400,000 of the most out of pocket story of all time. Have you ever wanted to read a story with like... every single character (and non character) in the HP Universe having their own POV? Including Kreacher? And I think even Mundungus? At it's core this is Dramione, sure. But it's also NottPott and Parkweasel and the three brothers in the deathly hallows winding up with other random characters. Also, all of the smut is fade to black. Which is extremely disappointing (but I should have known, because it says it's only mature) because the SMUT SET UPS WERE SO GOOD. I've never wanted Percy Weasley before, but now I definitely, definitely do. Alas... use your imagination I guess.
ANYWAYS. All that to say, I laughed out loud excessively. To the point where MULTIPLE times my husband walked into the room I was in to be like what is wrong with you?
The cousins? Holy FUCK. Comedy gold. Everyone mixing up Draco and Basile? AMAZING. "Parties Parties Parties Parties, Party Time, Party All The Time"? Crying. Honestly everything Theo did and said had me in hysterics. And of course the banter. THE CONSTANT BANTER WITH EVERYONE. It's all I ever want to read. And luckily this was... insanely long. lol.
I'm very tired. But also... I'm going to miss this story and these characters. This was maybe one of my favorite depictions of Harry that I've read. Ok I'm rambling now. BYE.
I wish I could be Olivie Blake's friend.
ANYWAYS. All that to say, I laughed out loud excessively. To the point where MULTIPLE times my husband walked into the room I was in to be like what is wrong with you?
The cousins? Holy FUCK. Comedy gold. Everyone mixing up Draco and Basile? AMAZING. "Parties Parties Parties Parties, Party Time, Party All The Time"? Crying. Honestly everything Theo did and said had me in hysterics. And of course the banter. THE CONSTANT BANTER WITH EVERYONE. It's all I ever want to read. And luckily this was... insanely long. lol.
I'm very tired. But also... I'm going to miss this story and these characters. This was maybe one of my favorite depictions of Harry that I've read. Ok I'm rambling now. BYE.
I wish I could be Olivie Blake's friend.
October 18, 2022
Somehow I ended up hating this quite ferociously. Can a character finish up a sentence once in a while without being interrupted? Not everything is a forceful banter, something in the story should be happening as well. Also Hermione was too OOC for my taste.
In short, too long and too convoluted.
In short, too long and too convoluted.
June 4, 2023
I really liked the style, the plottwists, the dynamics between the characters and the storyline was also great and absorbing. But there were simply too many side characters. I know they where included in the storyline but it felt crowded and therefore too long.
January 16, 2025
⭐️♾️ AKA ‘The crazy long fic that starts with bare knuckle boxer Hermione, transitions to French vampire, Narnia guard and Milan fashion model Basile, and ends with a love story involving a talking portrait of William the Conqueror’.
June 1, 2021
DNF (some funny lines in there but too many story lines and characters are OOC)
Read
October 24, 2024Dnf 70 % something. I really loved you. But you were also insane. And I dont have it in me to remember all the plots and characters to jump back in.
November 11, 2024
So. Many. Side. Plots.
January 10, 2020
Olivie just gets the characters and has this amazing imagination to use them in perfect AUs within the wizarding world.
This is an example of just that.
This is an example of just that.
July 12, 2022
Very very long and intricate story but so well written!
February 24, 2024
The way the plot is connected and every single detail comes to work together is perfection although the point of views shifting to the most randomest of characters was unwanted and made the reading tedious.
I never imagined I would be shipping Pansy and Percy Weasley of all people but the chemistry. 🤌🏻 Dramione served with their enemies to lovers trope. And the whole spin on the Peverell brothers was amazing.
I never imagined I would be shipping Pansy and Percy Weasley of all people but the chemistry. 🤌🏻 Dramione served with their enemies to lovers trope. And the whole spin on the Peverell brothers was amazing.
May 14, 2022
This was funny and cute. Not super fluffy, in my opinion, but i really enjoyed it nonetheless
November 9, 2022
This is a chaotic monster of a fic, and I absolutely loved it.
The ships? loved them all.
the plot? unpredictable.
the tension? immaculate.
the jokes? niche but if it's your niche, absolutely hilarious.
Forced proximity
All the POVs (like seriously, all of them)
--
Quotes (beware potential spoilers)
"Oh please, I'm an unparalleled delight"
"You are an unparalleled bag of dicks"
"I think I'd die before sexing you, Malfoy."
"I think you'd die during, Granger, which is frankly, very tempting"
"Why shouldn't I be able to go places with other men?"
"The goddamn patriarchy, that's why"
"Of course you would say that, what are you, a Virgo?"
"She fully is"
"It's these fucking heroes. They don't always know what they're doing, but its not their fault. They're just irreversibly fucked, and they can't help it. They're idiots. They saved the world, and in return, the world never taught them a lesson on how to not be shitty idiots. And they just keep trying to save it, stupidly, over and over again, because that's all they know how to do. They see something they love, they want to save it. Like idiots."
"Stop being nice to me"
"Your hair is stupid." he replied. She nodded, satisfied.
"if you find yourself a damsel in distress, then I assure you, you are capable of rescuing yourself. You don't need me to do it for you."
"I think I could have gone decades exactly as I was, never changing at all, until the day you came back into my life."
"Clearly you are le tiiiiiiired"
"I know you want to be impervious to everything that's happened to you - I get it, I do. But for the record, you don't have to be over shit, Granger. Be as fucked up as you want, I can take it"
"We used to do a lot of drugs. We do now, but we used to, too." (Yes this is originally Mitch Hedberg)
"I think I could have done ten thousand lifetimes and still wanted one more. But I also think that one lifetime with you will suffice. If you're up for it."
The ships? loved them all.
the plot? unpredictable.
the tension? immaculate.
the jokes? niche but if it's your niche, absolutely hilarious.
Forced proximity
All the POVs (like seriously, all of them)
--
Quotes (beware potential spoilers)
"Oh please, I'm an unparalleled delight"
"You are an unparalleled bag of dicks"
"I think I'd die before sexing you, Malfoy."
"I think you'd die during, Granger, which is frankly, very tempting"
"Why shouldn't I be able to go places with other men?"
"The goddamn patriarchy, that's why"
"Of course you would say that, what are you, a Virgo?"
"She fully is"
"It's these fucking heroes. They don't always know what they're doing, but its not their fault. They're just irreversibly fucked, and they can't help it. They're idiots. They saved the world, and in return, the world never taught them a lesson on how to not be shitty idiots. And they just keep trying to save it, stupidly, over and over again, because that's all they know how to do. They see something they love, they want to save it. Like idiots."
"Stop being nice to me"
"Your hair is stupid." he replied. She nodded, satisfied.
"if you find yourself a damsel in distress, then I assure you, you are capable of rescuing yourself. You don't need me to do it for you."
"I think I could have gone decades exactly as I was, never changing at all, until the day you came back into my life."
"Clearly you are le tiiiiiiired"
"I know you want to be impervious to everything that's happened to you - I get it, I do. But for the record, you don't have to be over shit, Granger. Be as fucked up as you want, I can take it"
"We used to do a lot of drugs. We do now, but we used to, too." (Yes this is originally Mitch Hedberg)
"I think I could have done ten thousand lifetimes and still wanted one more. But I also think that one lifetime with you will suffice. If you're up for it."
December 12, 2023
I’m more than half way through the story and I need to vent somewhere. I’ll delete or alter it according to my later thoughts (if they happen to change).
For the love of god the premise is juicy. I love a sarcastic and snarky and frankly kinda broken Draco. I love the depth of the multiple plot lines happening. I LOVE PANSY AND PERCY (ugh.). I even love the myriad OCs that somehow end up fitting into the world perfectly.
What I don’t love however, is the amount of telling before showing. What I mean by that is that (and I’ve also concluded that this is my personal taste and not a necessary issue of writing whatsoever) I’d wholeheartedly prefer a one person POV throughout the whole story, watching Dramione get dragged along the mystery. I’d even be okay if the POV went around 4 or even 5 people max. I don’t need to be inside every side characters head. I don’t need to know about Umbridge’s backstory or even Mel’s and Daisy’s. I’d love a spin-off where all those stories are collected maybe but not in the main plot.
Lastly the humour was a bit run-through in my opinion which I DID NOT HATE. It made for a lighter tone but I would appreciate maybe some differences between the characters or some awkward moments where banter isn’t the main aim. I want awkward silences and jokes that fall flat to both the characters AND the viewers because Theo’s sense of humour is so completely his own (ex.)
Considering maybe skipping some povs that seem wholely uninteresting to me but uuuugh I feel like I’d be betraying the story the author AND myself <\3
For the love of god the premise is juicy. I love a sarcastic and snarky and frankly kinda broken Draco. I love the depth of the multiple plot lines happening. I LOVE PANSY AND PERCY (ugh.). I even love the myriad OCs that somehow end up fitting into the world perfectly.
What I don’t love however, is the amount of telling before showing. What I mean by that is that (and I’ve also concluded that this is my personal taste and not a necessary issue of writing whatsoever) I’d wholeheartedly prefer a one person POV throughout the whole story, watching Dramione get dragged along the mystery. I’d even be okay if the POV went around 4 or even 5 people max. I don’t need to be inside every side characters head. I don’t need to know about Umbridge’s backstory or even Mel’s and Daisy’s. I’d love a spin-off where all those stories are collected maybe but not in the main plot.
Lastly the humour was a bit run-through in my opinion which I DID NOT HATE. It made for a lighter tone but I would appreciate maybe some differences between the characters or some awkward moments where banter isn’t the main aim. I want awkward silences and jokes that fall flat to both the characters AND the viewers because Theo’s sense of humour is so completely his own (ex.)
Considering maybe skipping some povs that seem wholely uninteresting to me but uuuugh I feel like I’d be betraying the story the author AND myself <\3
May 1, 2022
esse aqui a olivie blake se superou! tem um vai e volta que você as vezes fica puta da vida e as vezes da vontade de pular de uma ponte de tão bom mas ai ela vai e muda o POV do personagem e você que se foda :) mas fora isso gostei muito do relacionamento deles porém senti falta de algumas circunstâncias que ocorreram nos primeiros capítulos que me FEZ mesmo ter vontade de ler essa fic!!!
AMEI os ships que vieram nesse aqui: blaise e padma (ou parvati?), pansy com um dos irmãos lá muito muito bom amei
inclusive: os velhotes desse livro vai td pra casa do caralho INSUPORTÁVEIS não tinham nada pra fazer e ficaram atazanando o povo por milhares de anos pelo amor de deus bando de desocupado
essa é minha review parabens olivie blake
AMEI os ships que vieram nesse aqui: blaise e padma (ou parvati?), pansy com um dos irmãos lá muito muito bom amei
inclusive: os velhotes desse livro vai td pra casa do caralho INSUPORTÁVEIS não tinham nada pra fazer e ficaram atazanando o povo por milhares de anos pelo amor de deus bando de desocupado
essa é minha review parabens olivie blake
May 17, 2022
Well, this was a fun one, but it was probably too long.
If you're looking for smutty Dramione, you should probably look elsewhere. However, if you want a really complex and creative plot with some Dramione sprinkled in, this one might be worth your time.
Dramione is definitely not a canonical ship, but it is somehow the most canonical ship in this universe. All of the other ones could probably be best described as crack ships, and yet, I found myself
understanding and thinking that each one of them worked by the end. Am I a NottPotter? Maybe????
Also, there were SO MANY PLACES with fandom injokes that made me completely crack up. So Blake definitely gets her audience.
Worst part of this: Literally zero Ginny whatsoever.
If you're looking for smutty Dramione, you should probably look elsewhere. However, if you want a really complex and creative plot with some Dramione sprinkled in, this one might be worth your time.
Dramione is definitely not a canonical ship, but it is somehow the most canonical ship in this universe. All of the other ones could probably be best described as crack ships, and yet, I found myself
understanding and thinking that each one of them worked by the end. Am I a NottPotter? Maybe????
Also, there were SO MANY PLACES with fandom injokes that made me completely crack up. So Blake definitely gets her audience.
Worst part of this: Literally zero Ginny whatsoever.
August 13, 2022
Alright it’s no secret that Olivie is a great writer. I’m always just in awe of her BRAIN. Like HOW does she come up with all of this??? This fic is no different in quality than her other fics, HOWEVER you REALLY need patience to FULLY enjoy this fic. I daresay, it may even suffer from TOO much clever twists and turns to the point that it gets a little exhausting by the end. The first half, the multiple POVs were fun and I enjoyed them but i found myself skipping around towards the end cause it was tooo long in my opinion. I loved Draco and Hermione in this though. Especially when they were secretly pining for each other. I’d say if you’re even in the mood (and have the patience) for a long complex we’ll written story give this a shot.
January 13, 2024
BIG cast of characters, POV is constantly jumping between and introducing new voices to the story. Unfortunately, this also means Dramione is sharing a lot of pages with other, imo, less exciting plots. Really enjoy the cadence, story telling, and romance but wish immensely that we got more if not only Dramione time. So many superfluous revenge plots that I don’t really want to read through. Just let me ride it out with Draco/Hermione. Absolutely love to see the Pansy and Percy pairing! It should be canon they go together so so well. Would give a higher rating if focused on dramione amazing writing, storytelling and all other things were tip top but I don’t want to read anymore about anyone else. Sigh :-(
September 26, 2020
This, this was genius! Everything about this story was pretty perfect. It was another long read to commit to, and there was a lot going on with a lot of characters but that was a lot of the appeal to the story for me. At times, I genuinely forgot that it was a Dramione story and it was certainly some of the appeal of the fic. Most of the time I was hooked on the political intrigue of the story that I was forgetting the relationship elements!
There was also a lot of other relationship plot lines happening as well that made it so interesting too! All of the characters were amazing and the writing style was amazing. This generally felt like a fully fleshed out novel :)
There was also a lot of other relationship plot lines happening as well that made it so interesting too! All of the characters were amazing and the writing style was amazing. This generally felt like a fully fleshed out novel :)
October 18, 2022
This is NOT a romance book!
I was under the impression of it being a full on adventurous romance story, but it’s actually very adventurous,mysterious, humorous, with a dash of romance! This book took me a loooooonggg time to finish! There were parts that made me no want to keep reading because I was bored, or lost. however, the parts that had me not put the book down for hours at a time made it WORTH IT. The plot, the characters, the overall humor was delicious. It had me hooked and we all love an enemies to lovers (especially DRAMIONE)!!! One day I will definitely reread it, but it took me forever to finish so bye for now!
I was under the impression of it being a full on adventurous romance story, but it’s actually very adventurous,mysterious, humorous, with a dash of romance! This book took me a loooooonggg time to finish! There were parts that made me no want to keep reading because I was bored, or lost. however, the parts that had me not put the book down for hours at a time made it WORTH IT. The plot, the characters, the overall humor was delicious. It had me hooked and we all love an enemies to lovers (especially DRAMIONE)!!! One day I will definitely reread it, but it took me forever to finish so bye for now!
did-not-finish
April 15, 2024Dramione
I don't love a buff Hermione. Just don't.
The story is good enough. I don know what to expect and its keeping my attention. Not very deep because iIcant believe that she's a buff fighter, especially against men twice her size.
There's some interesting banter. I like how Harry responds to their bickering. I wasn't expecting a fake dating trope.
The Daphne storyline slowed the story to a crawl. I'm sure it will continue later. Now Marcus gets a chapter? This might seriously lose my attention.
There's a lot of time repeating too, to get multiple perspectives. mmmm. Losing interest. 13% dnf.
I don't love a buff Hermione. Just don't.
The story is good enough. I don know what to expect and its keeping my attention. Not very deep because iIcant believe that she's a buff fighter, especially against men twice her size.
There's some interesting banter. I like how Harry responds to their bickering. I wasn't expecting a fake dating trope.
The Daphne storyline slowed the story to a crawl. I'm sure it will continue later. Now Marcus gets a chapter? This might seriously lose my attention.
There's a lot of time repeating too, to get multiple perspectives. mmmm. Losing interest. 13% dnf.
June 16, 2022
4.25 stars. Why not a 5? Despite the craftsmanship and skill that went into writing this fic (and let me tell you, all writers can learn from olivieblake's brilliant writing), there was a sense of... blasé? apathy? that infected the story. Maybe bc of the third-person omniscient type of POV. I was in awe the entire time I was reading it, but I was also simultaneously indifferent to the characters.
I loved the banter (LOVED), but sometimes it was too much. Also, the smut was very tame. And there were SO MANY PERSPECTIVES.
Eh. Still enjoyed it.
Happy reading, Goodreads fiends.
I loved the banter (LOVED), but sometimes it was too much. Also, the smut was very tame. And there were SO MANY PERSPECTIVES.
Eh. Still enjoyed it.
Happy reading, Goodreads fiends.
February 6, 2023
Wow wow wow. This book was magical, I loved the plot to this book and how there were so many different characters and the love that bloomed along the way. The story of the 3 brothers was captivating. I loved every bit of it. It was funny, it was heartfelt. I loved Percy and pansy in this one as well. I had never once found Percy attractive but he was written so well and so perfect for her.
All the characters were written so well and this book had everything.
All the characters were written so well and this book had everything.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
January 30, 2023
Olivie blake is quite literally the cleverest, most incredible writer and surely exists as a voice in my subconscious at this point. I have never laughed more while reading a ff than when it is her works, so its an understatement to say that i’m obsessed, and if you appreciate wit, you undoubtedly will be too.
January 3, 2024
Honestly not my favorite from Olivie, and I'm like a hard-core Olivie fan so that might be saying something. I really enjoyed the push pull of Draco/Hermione but in this instance I found that the Peverells and the other new comers more frustrated me to have to read their bits. Glad I persisted but also would've liked more Draco/Hermione and more emotional payoff at the end
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
Read
February 4, 2025Convinced a normie friend to read this with me but she instead read past me and finished it without me, which just goes to show the power and talent and brain of olivieblake. If I can say anything, all I can say is how strong secrets can be, how much stronger love can be, and Parties Parties Parties Parties Parties Parties Parties Parties, Party Time, Party /All/ the Time.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 65 reviews