East of Croydon: Travels through India and South East Asia

by Sue Perkins

A few years ago I was asked if I'd like to make a documentary on the Mekong River, travelling from the vast delta in Vietnam to the remote and snowy peaks of Tibet.

Up until that point, the farthest East I'd been was Torremolinos, in the Costa Del Sol.

Here's the thing:

I am scared of flying.
I have zero practical skills.
I can't survive if I am more than a three minute walk from a supermarket.
For the last seven years I have suffered with crippling anxiety
I bolt when panicked.
I cannot bear to witness humans or animals in distress
I have no ability to learn languages.
I am a terrible hypochondriac

Oh, and I am no good with boats.

So I said yes.

Genres: Nonfiction, Travel, Audiobook, Biography, Memoir, Humor, Autobiography

400 pages, Hardcover

First published October 18, 2018

About the author

Susan Elizabeth Perkins (born 22 September 1969) is a British comedian and broadcaster, born in East Dulwich, London, England.

Reviews

[Rob Gregson · Rating 5 out of 5]

This won't be an objective review. I really like Sue Perkins. Not in a weird stalky way, you understand; it's more that I'd like someone to clone her. One Perkins for every community would be nice; a ratio of about one for every 200 residents. I think the world needs more Perkinses. In fact, I'd like to propose a new collective noun: a kindness of Sues.

My copy of this book is festooned with yellow post-it notes marking passages I thought I'd quote in this review. They stop at about the 30% mark. It was getting ridiculous. It's positively bursting with lucid prose, wit and, above all, a sense of humanity. It's actually painful at times - because this is a lot more than just a travelogue; a re-telling of adventures while filming a documentary series. It's unusually personal, responding with real anger to instances of greed and injustice; with genuine joy and empathy when recounting the forging of new friendships. A section on the final days of her father's life is especially moving. Beautifully written, too. Here's one of the two quotations to which I'm limiting myself:

"This pain. This is the price. This is the reckoning. This is what you get to feel when love is replaced, pound for pound, with loss."

That 'pound for pound' got me; that sense that, with a bereavement, all that intensity of love gets transformed into the same intensity of pain. It's characteristic of this book. It's honest and powerful and it doesn't hold back.

A little earlier in the book, Ms P arrives at a Special Economic Zone in Laos, having spent the previous months living with subsistence farmers and "kids with ribs overhanging their bellies like bone roofs." Here, in this SEZ (of which many more are planned), the place has been given over to the worst excesses of capitalism. The earth has been "scalped" of any living thing; in place of trees stands the vast golden dome of a casino, rising above gaudy cement pagodas and a miniature of the Forbidden City. A simple line summarises her reaction:

"All around me was a concrete simulacrum, a shoddy grey replica, where the natural world, where beauty, should have been."

I loved that this was no sanitised account, politically neutered for the sake of a genteel BBC audience. This is angry and heartfelt in places, and yet filled too with a generous helping of humour.

It's memorable, commendable stuff. I remain a fan.

[Barbara · Rating 3 out of 5]

I'm not a Sue Perkins fan. I'm sick of bakery double entendres and smug asides and I considered her autobiography 'Spectacles' as a 3-star rated 'surprise' because I didn't like her less after reading it than I did before. What insane masochism drove me to read her later travel book, 'East of Croydon' - well, it's about India and I will read just about anything about India. And it was free via my local library's ebook system.

'Spectacles' was probably a 2.5 to 3 rating and 'East of Croydon' is definitely better than 'Spectacles' though it does drag a bit by the time she gets to Laos. This is a 3 to 3.5 and much better than Spectacles.

I saw the Ganges river series that she did (on which the latter part of this book is based) and I felt rather scornful of her performance. Reading the book brought out a much deeper person than I saw on the TV and I disliked her a lot less than I expected. I was also very moved by her reflections on her father which were not what I was expecting to find in the middle of a trek to the source of the Ganges with a blackbird. I also better understood her onscreen meltdown in Varanasi once I was aware of what she'd been through so shortly before her journey.

On the page, she was a lot less irritating than on the screen. This time she has something solid to talk about - her travels - and it was interesting to read about what goes on behind the scenes. I was impressed at some of the absolutely disgusting things she put herself through in the name of doing a good day's work (the bit with bits of pig offal really turned my stomach) and I respected her travel experiences more when I was exposed to the hardships behind them. I enjoyed the crew she travelled with and their foibles too.

[Charlotte Jones · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love Sue Perkins and so when I saw that she had published another book, it went straight on my Christmas list. Luckily Jai bought it for me and I thoroughly enjoyed reading it. Travel non-fiction isn't something I've ever explored but this has definitely opened my eyes to a new genre that I feel I could enjoy.

This was heartfelt and disturbing at times and conversely hilarious at others. Sue Perkins has a way with words that just felt like I was there with her. She weaves her journey together with things happening with her own family and this made the book all the more personal.

If you're not aware of Sue Perkins' work, I think you would still enjoy this book. It takes an honest look at some of the poorest parts of Asia and discusses the environmental impacts that humans are having on the Mekong river and the traditional way of life. Overall I would highly recommend it and will read anything else that Sue brings out.

[Ming Wei · Rating 5 out of 5]

A traveller that does not take herself too serious as she explores new places, things are not staged managed in Sue Perkins world, and this book highlights this, a genuine, very readable, not too serious book, one of the most enjoyable reads I have had during 2020. I am a big fan of Sue Perkins TV programmes, so maybe I am a bit bias, but I loved the book, well written, easy to read, plenty of information, but not oversaturating for the reader, the only negative is that I think the book cover is a bit poor and ocould have been improved, but this is a non important issues, it is what is inside the book that is the most important, and for travelers this will be a very interesting book.

[Alex Tate-Smith · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book made me laugh out loud so hard that I think I scared people on the tram. Then it made me cry, properly cry. I don't think a book has ever made me do that before. Luckily I wasn't on the tram for this bit.

[Tara · Rating 5 out of 5]

I didn't start this book with much hope, but it was absolutely fantastic, especially the second half! It had me laughing, tearing up and everything in between. I felt I was taken on a journey that I would never have the chance to go (and probably wouldn't go, after reading this book). She has written this book in a humble way, admitting to her mistakes openly and that just makes it so much easier to connect with her.

[Hayley Mac · Rating 5 out of 5]

Book club read. Properly laughed, properly cried. Didn’t expect to even like this. A lot of the destinations are familiar to me too so that was nice.

[Edd Beale · Rating 5 out of 5]

Listened to the audiobook. Had no idea what to expect - really enjoyed it. Had me actually nearly in tears at one point. Would recommend, especially as an audiobook.

[Alison · Rating 5 out of 5]

It reads as though she’s speaking to you. If you’re a fan you’ll love it. I cried.. a lot.

[Camee · Rating 3 out of 5]

East of Croydon was a hilarious but often sad telling of British personality Sue Perkins' time working on a documentary about the Mekong River. I am familiar with Perkins from watching her cohost The Great British Baking Show, so I already knew how funny she is and looked forward to this humor in the tale of her travels. She definitely delivered, and I laughed out loud quite a few times. She also proved herself to be a great writer, and I really enjoyed how she traced her trip along the Mekong River and all the adventure she experienced during the journey. My only problem was that right next to the humor was some truly heartbreaking stories about the poor people and communities she encountered. While this was absolutely necessary and I am glad it was included, it was a bit jarring to be laughing one minute and to be on the brink of tears the next. I have read funny/sad memoirs plenty of times and the way this one was written just felt different. The only way I can see it is, this book was very British and their humor and way of looking at life is very different than my American one!

[Adele · Rating 4 out of 5]

Made me laugh out loud in places and in others want to cry from the sheer desperation of the poverty and hopelessness of some of the people she met on her travels. Narrated by Sue Perkins herself, which adds to the emotional impact.

If you don’t like Perkins, this book will not be for you, but this goes beyond her usual bumbling, yet humorous, nonsense. My one criticism of the book is that it doesn’t give much of a sense of time - i was shocked at the end when it indicates how long it had been since her first visit to India. She also spends a long time discussing the end of her father’s life, and while this is understandably a very painful personal experience, this book is a travelogue not a memoir.

That said, I defy anyone not to laugh themselves silly over ‘dildo alley’ and mega pig.

[Fran Sappharc · Rating 5 out of 5]

Brilliant. Funny in parts. Moving in parts. Depressing at parts that life is so hard for so many, yet there are always things that can be done. I loved all the parts, even the hard to listen bits. Her reflections on both her life and the lives of those she briefly intersects with were intelligent, both emotionally and cerebrally.

[Sophia · Rating 4 out of 5]

Anything about someone’s adventures travelling and I’m in! It’s one of my fav genres and Sue’s adventures didn’t disappoint. So many occasions I laughed out loud at her clumsiness. The chapters about her father’s illness and death were so sad, but there was also a sense of peace.

[Alison Hill · Rating 5 out of 5]

A travel book written as only Sue Perkins can

[Ceremony · Rating 4 out of 5]

very interesting read and i know where i definitely never ever want to go now and i‘m ok with not doing the himalaya

[Miles Row · Rating 4 out of 5]

I enjoyed this but more as a description of Sue traveling as a documentary presenter rather than a getting an well rounded understanding of the cultures she visited.

[Amy · Rating 5 out of 5]

I either cried or laughed the whole way through. It was so real and hilarious and heartbreaking. I loved it.

[Lynne - The Book Squirrel · Rating 3 out of 5]

Blah!

[Cath Hughes · Rating 4 out of 5]

I don't normally like Sue Perkins and her humour. However, because I love travel books I did really enjoy this book.

[Sarah · Rating 3 out of 5]

I enjoyed aspects of this book, in particular the section on Cambodia due to having an affinity to the country.
I felt it jumped around a bit and in some parts lacked some structure. I also felt like some of it was padded out to make it up to a word count.

[Lizzie · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5

[Ellie · Rating 5 out of 5]

East of Croydon follows Sue Perkins on her travels around Asia whilst filming documentaries for the BBC. It also covers her father’s terminal cancer and coming to terms with death of a loved one.

I want to be friends with Sue, she is funny and kind, and I loved spending time with her by way of her audiobook narration. I laughed, I cried. I laughed whilst crying (honestly, she’s the only person I know that’s made me laugh whilst recounting time spent by a parent’s death bed).

If you’ve watched Sue’s travels down the Mekong River or in India, you may find some parts familiar as this is kind of a behind the scenes version of those documentaries. However, I loved the interactions between her and her film crew, the countless bouts of food poisoning and all the times they are not on the same page when it comes to the film they are actually making.

There are sections on translations between what a producer says and what they really mean. At one point Sue talks about which words for vagina are suitable for which BBC channels, which is relevant because she finds herself in classrooms on several occasions, often shouting out the English words for body parts…

It’s not all laughs, there are times when she sees through the façade that travellers are often presented. She meets the street kids of India, whole families living beneath bridges and I remember her breaking down on the TV show. She is saddened by poverty and environmental damage.

I am usually not fond of writers sneaking in personal trauma into books seemingly about other subjects, but I’ll let Sue off. She needs to vent about some things, and the parts about her father are done with tenderness and humour.

[Katy Wheatley · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read and loved Sue Perkins' book, Spectacles, when it came out. I was also lucky enough to go and see her one woman show about the book. A friend was kind enough to take me to see Sue talking about East of Croydon, and we were all given a copy of the book at the event. I read this in two days. I meant to eke it out, but she writes so well I couldn't wait. It's great that she's as funny on the page as she is on telly or stage, but what I love about her books is her keen empathy for the people she meets and the care she takes to honour the lives she describes. The book made me cry on more than one occasion and the last sections, about her dad and about her trip to India were powerfully affecting.

[Katedurie50 · Rating 3 out of 5]

I'm not sure what constitutes good travel writing, but suspect some impersonality, simply using the sensibility of the observer as a filter, probably constitutes part of it. That isn't what happens here, but then the book isn't really travel writing, but a hybrid composed of that, a 'how we made a TV series' with a seasoning of comedy, and chunks of Sue Perkins' life, including a moving account of the death of her father. It's an odd mixture, the more so as the TV element is much contrived, as such things often are, to place the presenter in unpleasant or humiliating circumstances. There's a point where watching the hirja dancing she wonders if they really live like this when the camera lens is lowered; but that is true of much of what is recorded. I begin to suspect there is no group so remote that they don't have their piece-to-camera ready. Sue Perkins is engaging company and overall there are things to enjoy here - but it's still an oddity.

[Mims Reilly · Rating 5 out of 5]

I had the pleasure of seeing Sue Perkins speak about this book when she was on tour throughout the UK. I was working in Leicester at the time, I didn’t see much during the week apart from my hotel and workplace, seeing her live was seeing an old friend telling me about her mad trip or ‘blunderings’ in South East Asia.

The experience of reading this book is similar, Sue Perkins is an excellent storyteller, her writing is warm, she is naturally funny, but also writes from a place of deep empathy.

The descriptions of the suffering Perkins witnesses are visceral, it’s impossible not to be moved by a side of humanity which is often too far from our daily consciousness.

This is a highly compelling, enjoyable read during which you will feel the full spectrum of emotions. I highly recommend it, and if you haven’t read Spectacles already then I recommend you read that too!

[Mat Greener · Rating 4 out of 5]

Probably about 3.5 stars .
This is not a feel good travel book but it covers many details of India, Cambodia, Vietnam, Laos, Tibet & China was can make many people feel ill. All of this is part of the life there so shouldn't not be missed out. Food poisoning multiple times being one of the more unpleasant stories. There are occasional amusing anecdotes. Although I like to experience new places following many details I thought I would leave the experiences to her her & not try them myself . The book is a reasonably interesting travelogue

[Tadhg · Rating 4 out of 5]

Thought a comedian writing a travel book would just be light hearted reading however, even though it did have me laughing out loud at times, she actually manages to give quite a deep view into life on the Mekong for ordinary people. There's also quite a lot of direct criticism of capitalism in here so Sue better not be expecting any calls from Would I Lie to You or any other BBC shows anytime soon!

[Tim Reisner · Rating 3 out of 5]

After some internal struggles Sue Perkins at last won me over with her sheer honesty.

I disliked the 'judgy' way she has of implicitly criticising people for travelling to foreign countries either for pure enjoyment or as part of a project to broaden their horizons. I was listening to the audiobook version - read beautifully by the author - so perhaps I took more from Perkins' tone than from the words on the page, but there are times when she seems to be sneering at those fortunate enough to be able to travel for pleasure. For example, putting on a posh voice while imitating travellers/backpackers saying: "we're on a gap year, yah." or "we're on a year's break." And perhaps, as someone who has travelled a lot for pleasure I feel sensitive about the criticism.

While Perkins recognises that progress, though coming at a cost, does have benefits for many of the citizens of the countries in the grips of modernization it's sometimes frustrating that she's not more humble about her lack of expertise. When countries decide to build dams, they are having to balance the pros and cons for the individual groups affected by the construction (as well as attendant loss of landscape) with benefits to the whole of the society like electricity, power, irrigation and so on. These are difficult problems which governments grapple with and of course will sometimes get wrong. But Perkins seems always to come down on the side of wanting to keep the simple character of the lives of people in developing countries, as if she is the best arbiter of what they need or of what is best for them. And all this while complaining - understandably, and often hilariously - about all the unpleasant experiences of travelling 'rough'.

For example, when she slips down the steps of a ghat in Benares and falls into human waste so that her cut arm comes into contact with it, it's hard to be sympathetic to romantic notions of the simple life experienced by citizens of developing countries, such that we should want them to be 'protected' from progress.

The technology and wealth that allows the BBC to pay for her to travel the globe shouldn't be taken for granted. Perkins finds herself living in an advanced western society where there are genuine questions about our having too much progress. But these questions cannot be easily grafted onto the experience of a Cambodian or Laotian.

Perkins, by her own admission, experiences something like empathic overload. The pain of the individuals she meets on her travels is felt by her as well. I think that at times this clouds her ability to see the bigger picture. But no one should doubt her heart or good intent and at the end of the book she gives practial ways for readers to help.

She's at her best when describing her emotional state, particularly in the context of the death of her father. I found this whole section incredibly moving and I know that the loss of a parent is something the gravity of which I can yet scarcely entertain. She writes at one point of the fact that her father had to suffer long after the time we would have put down a beloved pet dog out of compassion. For me this nailed our wrongheaded view of the sanctity of (human) life.

As an aside, I found some of the dialogue sections a little bit wearing and occasionally the humour seemed forced. But overall it's hard not appreciate the depth of feeling that has gone into this warm travelogue through Southeast Asia and India.

[Barry Allan · Rating 4 out of 5]

I have enjoyed the little I have seen of Sue Perkins on TV, so was keen to read this book when I spotted it in the library. I was not disappointed - I enjoy her humour and the way she describes her connections with those she meets. She is very aware of her privilege, and is most happy when she finds ways to genuinely connect with them. She is remarkably quick to do this with so many people. At one point. Sue says her "journey is studded with nights where families with nothing open their arms and doors" to her, feeding her, hugging her and just hanging out with her. Maybe, she says, these are riches which more developed cultures lack.

Unlike most travelers who spend just a limited time in a place before moving on, going in with a television crew enables her to meet people in a way denied to ordinary travelers - from subsistence farmers through hermit gurus to Government ministers.

Late in the book, Sue mentions the need to clean up what goes on screen for the sensitivities of BBC TV watchers - this book gives a deeper insight into what she sees and feels as she goes. She describes herself as not one for leaving the comforts of home, not adventurous, "panoramically inept" with zero skills and zero strength - yet she keeps going in some very difficult situations. All of the countries she travels in offer ways of doing so with all creature comforts, but they are not for her. She travels in this way partly for her dad, and partly to quiet an inner voice that draws her to darkness.

While she does indeed do a lot of eating, drinking, dancing, singing and sharing of intimate cultural moments (her initial view of how travel TV is made), there's more to it than that. Sue notes the incongruity between herself and those she meets - she has plenty, including posh boots, while many go barefoot, a life of ease while they experience hardship - and incongruities between rich (a vast empty hotel in China, a palatial casino in Laos) and poor. There is also frequent mention of environmental issues, and its impact on the people. She even puts herself in danger by going on an anti-poacher mission.

There are some very funny imagined conversations. She is interviewing a particularly full of himself environmentalist when an Irrawaddy dolphin pops up in the background, tells her the fellow is an absolute joke that the dolphin and his mates like to take the piss out of. On another day, she comes across a starving pig, and finds some bananas to feed it - but the pig is evidently confused about these objects falling from the sky. There's another pig encounter - a MEGA pig, with mention of an even bigger one, a "fortress of bacon with whiskers".

There are also several flashbacks - she is asked to act or teach something, for example, and thinks back to previous disastrous attempts to do the same. One is far more serious: a blackbird follows her around for a day - this makes her reflect on her father and his death, because he had said he'd come back to watch over her, as a blackbird.

Despite the privations involved in these travels, Sue rarely complains, finds humour in difficult situations. She reserves her complaints for the bugs and mice that plague her at times, and those who over manage some of her visits.

[Heidi Atkins · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was so surprisingly good. Got it at a random cheap second hand book shop just because I love to always have a book on hand. It’s honestly written so uniquely and is so funny and inspiring. I love books that talk about nature and just show the beauty of the world while also having a whole story separate from that. Definitely a must read.

These quotes are long because it is just the whole aura of the situations that I love, not the particular words. So I grabbed parts of it to try to convey the picture that the book provides since it is so special and cool.

“The Bunong are deeply superstitious people. They believe if you cut down a tree, something wicked will happen: someone will get sick, suffer an accident, or even die.” 81

“I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone so light and yet so deep, as content with herself as with the situation and circumstances she found herself in. Her voice was like a song, the word I didn’t know but the tune was familiar and reassuring; it gladdened my heart to hear it… ‘I feel like I’ve known you all my life,’ I said, grinning a loon. She looked at me, muttered something in return, and we carried on into the forest. It was not until many weeks later, once the footage had been assembled in the edit, that the translator came in to provide subtitles. It was only then I got to understand her reply.
ME: I think I’ve known you all my life.
And then she speaks. The translation appears underneath.
SEEBAGH: I think I’ve known you all my life.
Synchronicity: the energy that comes from sharing a moment, a feeling, with a fellow human.” 138

“I held out my left arm, and one by one the villagers tied thin cotton bracelets around my wrist… The holy men say that if you want your wishes to come true, you have to wait for at least three days before you remove the strings… The best option, though, is to leave them and let them fall of naturally. The guys all cut theirs off that night. In fact, I’m not sure Olly even waited till the end of the ceremony before he took his Leatherman out and started hacking at the strings. Stuff and nonsense, he said. Yes, of course, you’re right. It is stuff and nonsense. Yet I kept mine on nonetheless — all of them. I couldn’t tell you why… There was something about that day — that concentration of feeling, that purity of intent — that really stayed with me. I liked them, plain and simple. I liked those gentle villagers, who gave up a piece of their day for me, to commune with me, to make me whole again.” 162

“It’s a strange truth but, sometimes, the less verbal your communication is with someone, the more you bond in a deeper, more intuitive level. Wendy and I never exchanged more than the odd grunt or giggle, yet every time I pop some new-found nugget into my mouth, I remember her face, and see her, hands in belly, laughing, laughing, like her face is going to split.” 218

“It was a beautiful, spontaneous moment: dozens of elderly women in traditional dress — blue caps, dark jerkins, with white scarves cross-crossing their torsos, whirling in perfect synchronicity… What a thing, not to be at war with your physical self.” 219

“Life is wonderful. And some of its most wonderful moments are shot through with sadness.” 329