I AM GAMER

by Gabriel Rathweg

Lawrence is having a shitty day. His girlfriend is not only cheating on him but she’s cheating on him with his best friend. He had the added benefit of finding out about it firsthand. To make matters worse a legendary Native American God has sent him back to North America circa 1400 AD. What’s a Gamer to do?

From the creator of the hilarious Eryth Online and the action packed Warrior Academy series comes I AM GAMER!

This is the first book in a series that will span continents. Join our hero on his journey to unify the Americas and fight back against its foreign invaders. Using skills and knowledge from the future all revealed in a game type format, Lawrence Lawrence Wrath will save the world… or die trying…

Genres: Fantasy, Time Travel

237 pages, Kindle Edition

Published August 23, 2018

About the author

Disclaimer:

Stop! Do not read this story if you are a Douchebag, Troll, Hate Music, are Anti-Marijuana, Dislike Fun, Don’t Like Video Games, and are just a Terrible Human Being.

If any of these describe you DO NOT READ THIS BOOK!

On the other hand, if you like all of those things and irreverent humor, pop culture, bad jokes, gratuitous language and violence, plus, you’re a fan of movies like:

Your Highness
Cheech and Chong’s The Corsican Brothers
The Adventures of Baron Munchausen
The Princess Bride
The Goonies
Half Baked

On weed… Then this stories for you!

Eyrth Online is the adventures of Lawrence Wrath. Just your everyday average stoner, who gets to play the most amazing virtual reality massively multiplayer role playing game (VRMMORPG) of all time;

EYRTH ONLINE

If you enjoy stoner comedies and escapism then this books for you. I have created a Spotify playlist that I was listening to when I wrote these novellas. Each song is the title of the chapter and is the musical theme for that chapter.

I originally intended for you the reader to imbibe some marijuana, start the playlist, and jump into my world. If you don’t smoke that is fine, if you can’t read and listen to music that is fine too. Just read the way you normally do and enjoy the story

But, if you like to smoke some herb and jam out to tunes while you are reading a great book, then I think you will love Eyrth Online. You will need a Spotify account to access the play list, if you don’t have one you will have to gather the songs on your own. Sorry about that.

All characters and events in this series…
Even those based on real people…
Are entirely fictional…
All celebrity likenesses and voices are impersonated… poorly…
All music is not mine, none of it, at all…
The following episode contains coarse language, gratuitous sex, violence, and due to its content…
it should not be read or listened to by anyone.

Eyrth Online: The Green Album – Volume 1

400 pages of Stoner LitRPG goodness, plus 81 different songs on the playlist to tantalize your sound tubes! Could you ask for more?

Praise about this book…

“While I don’t usually endorse forced sodomy… this book is funny as hell!” Me.

“I think I laughed once… Wait, no I definitely laughed one time… I think… did I read your book babe?” My Girlfriend

“I literally pooped myself… but I’ve been sick so… it could have been that.” Some Guy

“What’s a VRMMORPG?” My Dad

“I do believe you have a dangling participle sir.” Tim curry.

It contains episodes 1-4 of EO. It’s FREE on Kindle Unlimited and $3.99 for an Ebook. The playlist has been updated and is on Spotify, The Youtube link is on the bottom! Thanks Matt Westgate! I didn’t even think about it!


Oh, I am going to Thailand for 1 month! I won’t be back till the middle of August. So, I am going to try to push out episode 5, but I can’t promise anything. Thanks ya’ll, enjoy the novellas and stuff.

https://www.amazon.com/Eyrth-Online-G...

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list...

Much Love and a Dank Fatty!


Gabriel Rathweg,

(ps there is drug use and lots of profanity… not for kids)

I do not smoke with my hand
I do not smoke with my weapon
I smoke with my heart

Reviews

[Robert · Rating 1 out of 5]

Dude

Let's smoke some gunja and drink Coors and bud dude.

That's what the MC and I think the author was most concerned with. Apparently the author was too high to actually remember history correctly or do research.

[Johnny · Rating 1 out of 5]

Book one

Mistakes: I found a few,but I dropped this book after 20% so this is an unknown.
Plot: this is a joke right? A lil one in strength,but can pull a 150 lbs. how with no problem. Immediately starts off with a legendary let and mount. Bother level one with 10 health, yet they both kill full grown dire wolves with ease. Scaleable gear just handed to him. Underwear that keeps him comfortable. There is no room for s real story since everything was just handed to the MC from the get go.
Characters: the MC goes through an entire body change. What not happy with who you are? Body improvements are fine, but I'd like the MC to earn them. I liked the main coon . Changing it to a tiger was a mistake.
I rate this 1/10 When you just hand everything to your MC right at the start there is no point in the story because he doesn't need to grow. I dropped this book after 20% and can't recommend it.

[Douglas · Rating 1 out of 5]

I actually enjoyed most of this book. It is clearly written by an amateur but a talented one except for one thing. The story is: Native American god Coyote selects a person to go back in time to right the wrongs done by European invaders. In particular the MC is suppose to prepare the Colorado natives to fight off the Spanish Conquistadors. However the Conquistadors are absent from this entire book. THE AUTHOR DOESN'T EVEN ATTEMPT TO TELL A STORY: THIS WHOLE BOOK IS JUST THE SET UP FOR A STORY. Worse yet, this book is only 406 pages long so the author could have written a 500 page book that actually told a story. Worse yet, this book came out in 2018 and, if the author attempted to actually tell a story in a second book Goodreads.com doesn't know about it.

All that happens is: MC gets sent back in time, meets girl, joins her tribe and starts preparing them for war. Along the way he fights some monsters and gets his tribe to merge with another tribe. Book ends with the MC seeing lights in the distance and implying the Conquistadors have arrived early.

Bottom line: This book is a complete waste of time. Zero story resolution. Such poor craftsmanship should not be rewarded and no one should ever buy or read this book.

[DJay · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is an interesting time travel litRPG novel. The Main Character is related to an old Native American God and is sent back in time to try and change the western expansion that destroyed the Native Americans. There are a slew of litRPG elements all throughout this story, but there is definitely one thing that I enjoy, there is a soundtrack for the book. That is awesome. Now with that said, even if you don't listen to the soundtrack, the book is a solid book all on its own. The MC isn't OP, but he's def leagues above most humans. Also, the female lead in this book is no slouch and she's pretty B.A. as well. She's not just a lamp in the background. She runs s**t. She stands equal to her man, and that's legit as hell. Also, she is a bamf when it comes to fighting. She legit has her own fight to establish EXACTLY what kind of girl nay woman she is, and it looks like book 2 might be the start of a harem if what I think is happening is about to happen. We shall see, but I will be on the lookout for book 2.

[Logan Horsford · Rating 1 out of 5]

The MC is good at way too much stuff and has way too much given to him at the outset.

Magical gear all made for a god by other gods.

The MC becomes bigger, stronger, better for ...um... reasons.

The MC has a photographic memory and - unlike most people - watched useful instructional youtube videos.

The guy's big cat became a huge cat and his motorcycle became a cool horse...for...reasons.

This book could have been a lot better if the MC say just had the third one. They have the 'book knowledge on how to do stuff. Then, they discover that doesn't equate to practical experience, muscle memory and not suffering.

If the MC isn't suffering and learning and growing and is instead given everything, it doesn't come off as a sympathetic character. You feel like "If you don't succeed with all of that crap, you are a tool."

I made it 1h 19m into the audio book before giving up.

[Adrian · Rating 5 out of 5]

Good book.

I haven't put this book down until I have to take care of some business. I'm looking forward to getting back to the story when free time arises. I'm heading back to Amazon to purchase the second book or use my K Unlimited........

[Larry Holly · Rating 5 out of 5]

Good book

This is a great read. Loved the characters, the development and storyline. I'll definitely be reading more from this author and of this series when the next book comes out

[John · Rating 4 out of 5]

Good but....

This book left me with some conflicting emotions. Over all I loved the book. The author writes well and I got many laughs. I did enjoy the fun storytelling and the presentation. My problem is with the MC and his easy progression. Much OP here. Though I love OP characters I like them to be earned. I hate to many early gifts. So there is that. On the other hand I admire the MCs work ethic and his willingness to put the work in the crafting and building. I also enjoy the rpg aspect as there is stats crafting and city/rescource management. I love crafting. I will read more of this series and hope that the rest is earned with more sweat.

[Ian Mitchell · Rating 5 out of 5]

Just run with it.

I had fun reading this one. Nice to get a portal + game interface story with town building story that's good reading and not overly regimented and serious. C'mon, one of the MC's abilities later is control of his sound track. I wish that I'd seen the playlist link in the about area so I could listen along to the tracks the author matched up with each chapter. Great job Gabriel Rathweg! I've read some of his other series and like them as well.

[Adam Shook · Rating 4 out of 5]

A new take on legends.

Face it the standard European basis for most litrpg gets old at times. To me that is the appeal of I am gamer. To have a game like version of native American myths put out is the draw. Law is a cheat character a picture perfect memory and he randomly remembers different shows and YouTube specials he has seen. The book isnt about the growth of the mc or his party. Most of his skills and items are godly gifts. No the real story is the city builder if anything this book harkens back to sid Meyers civilization and other games. If you go in expecting a run of the mill sword and sorcery ot a dungeon dive you will be disappointed. But if you go in looking at it like a city builder or dungeon core story then you will have fun. However I too am bugged by the OP mc I understand the reasoning but it bugs me. Maybe in book two there will be other "demihumans" with similar cheat like gear and abilities but for Now it's big fish small pond.

[Kelley · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved it. Loved Coyote and mc seems like a . . . (Yeah I fell asleep trying to write my review. Note to self actually try to write reviews when I’m awake, not while I’m in bed awake. Who am I kidding it’s the only time I actually take time to write reviews. I’m doing it now. :p Back to my review sleep so rudely interrupted.). MC seems like a real person who happens to meet up with a god. And actually come out better for it. I love the new girlfriend. She is amazing all on her own.

[Chris · Rating 1 out of 5]

A juvenile book

Maybe people in their teens will enjoy this book. I didn't. It was poorly written and had very little substance to it. I skimmed the second half of the book as I was hoping for something interesting to happen but nothing grabbed me. The McCain is arrogant, very stereotypical American and impossibly successful at everything he attempts. A charmless book.

[Sword Guy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Amazing

I love the authors writing style. He writes like I think/talk in my head... only better. Can't wait for next book.

[Alexander Ruiz · Rating 3 out of 5]

While I found the premise of this book to be interesting and even fun. The protagonist sees the world as if it was a video game. Like a real life D&D where he has his own character sheet in which he can assign skills as he "levels up" by defeating monsters.

Lawrence, or Law is a man lost in his life, having just found his girlfriend cheating with his best friend. After a drug induced stupor, he finds himself living a gamerboy fantasy. He suddenly appears in the past and has all future knowledge that he is told he can use to help the native people of America turn the tide on the colonizers because he has "total recall" and apparently learned all the stuff he needed to know for his mission prior to knowing he would be chosen. The author seems to have taken the time to learn about native societal structures and even explains female characters as strong and equal to men in native society, but then there were a lot of cringe moments in the book around the way it writes women. He gets a hot new body that all the women want and a hot girlfriend who is there to serve him. All the women worthy of attention are/have to be beautiful in order to quantify their worth and all the ones that aren't are hags and deserving of derision. The girlfriend is "perfect" in every way that a gamer boy fetishizes women. The truly cringe moment was when the woman he just met agrees to marry him and when she does she become a character that the protagonist can "control" and designate life skills to. The excessive sex "scenes" are so cringey they disrupt the flow of the story.

The concept has potential. But I don't think it was realized in the best way possible here.

[Travis · Rating 3 out of 5]

Interesting concept here, and pretty well done. There are a couple continuity errors, (things that really should have been caught during proofreading), but otherwise, it's an interesting story, a good fun romp through early america, and a tale most LitRPG fans should enjoy. It may not appeal to some, because it's placed in the "real world", but I enjoy such tales, because the author has to work with what's already present, instead of inventing anything they like to solve a problem, and I like that kind of solution hunting.

[Anna gillam · Rating 1 out of 5]

The worst of millennial idiocy combined

The whole plot comes down to "WhItE mAn BaD!!!11!!!!!1" Then there's the idiocy that a disease with a 25-40% fatality rate somehow kills off 90% of the population. Add to that that the MC is supposed to take the basically stone age societies of North America and in less than 6 months, raise them to late iron age, at the least. The "east Asian" (won't give a country) guy is somehow native American, as if there's no difference between the two. (that rampant steaming pile of bigotry by itself should be reason enough to avoid the book)

[Courtney Walker · Rating 4 out of 5]

Good first book but

Ok so my but is a reasonable one. The grammar in this book can get really bad. It’s like a lot of extra words in sentences or they couldn’t decide which word should have been used and put both (example: then than) or they thought something was going to happen but changes their mind in mid-thought. Need to work on those. But I would recommend and will be reading the next book.

[Lewis Clymore · Rating 5 out of 5]

A lot of fun

Overall this was a very fun read, interesting premise, loved the humor, and the story was full of action, crafting and litrpg staples. It coukd really benefit from grammatical editing and there were a few times that it felt like the author took short cuts that only served to yank me out of the immersive experience that we readers love. Would rather he made the book longer and do it right. But again, a good story and I'm definitely reading more!

[Shirley Brim · Rating 3 out of 5]

Good story, bad writing

As with many fantasy and SF stories, this book would benefit greatly from the attention of a good editor. The author is either poorly educated or too lazy to bother with good sentence structure and punctuation.

The story loses a lot of its impact when the reader must stop to sort out the run-on sentences and bad punctuation.

The author embarrasses himself and shows little respect for his readers by publishing a book in such an unfinished condition.

[Cr Rider · Rating 2 out of 5]

Good start but editor needed!

The premise of the story was a new one regarding the Native American history and mythology. As such, it was an intriguing concept, especially with a gamelit filter. However, grammar, spelling and other major editing errors were glaring detracting from the read. If those errors were remedied, it would receive another star.

[Rodney nortz · Rating 4 out of 5]

Worthwhile Read

Full length novel, good but slightly not perfect editing but not anything that is off putting. Not totally original plotline, but with quite a few twists from what I have seen before and not trope or overly used generic character. Overall a solid 4 maybe with corrected editing a 5 good writing, easy enjoyable read.

[Thomas James · Rating 4 out of 5]

Different but fun

Rating: Good but not great. (I am not a writer so I cannot tell someone HOW to write a great book.)
Likes: Original concept: A gamer going back in time to try to save history by using modern knowledge and gaming techniques.

Sure, I would recommend this story to a friend.

[Gary Peluso · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great read

Well written and evolves seamlessly. Nice attention to detail and historical accuracy. The character develop depth organically and stay true. A nice way to spend a rainy afternoon.

[Phil Matthews · Rating 3 out of 5]

Okay

Nice plot. Interesting but shallow characters. Needs editing. Passed out not past out. Learn when to use your and you're. Fix editing and composition and would be a four. Characters need much more depth to make a five.

[Chip Wilson · Rating 4 out of 5]

Fun alternate history LitRPG

This was a neat take on LitRPG where the MC goes back in time to try rewriting North American history using knowledge from the future. I liked the story and game mechanics used but the author needs to use proofreaders for the next book.

[Roberto Flores · Rating 3 out of 5]

A fun story but lacking substance.

This is a quick read with no real depth. The main character is very OP and has several "cheat" abilities. And the others he meets just follow along without feeling real. The world building is extremely simplistic and very much lacking.

[Kevin Harrison · Rating 4 out of 5]

Good start

Like the book, a good start. I also like the novel way we get to the RPGLIT world. It's a new way that I haven't seen before. Will read book 2.

[Peter · Rating 3 out of 5]

Historical LitRPG

I can't say that I've ever read a historical litrpg before, and this is a great one. Excited for book two.

[Noah Cohen · Rating 3 out of 5]

Not a bad story but there are way too many grammatical errors.

[Dava · Rating 5 out of 5]

Awesome


Very funny book and very well written and can t wait for the next instalment by this amazing writer fantastic