كيف تقولها للنساء

by Phyllis Mindell, غاد الشهابي (تعريب)

إن كتاب "كيف تقولها للنساء" ليس كتاباً عن السياسة، كما أنه لا يضع فلسفة معينة، بل هو كتاب يزوّد بأفكار واقتباسات من الرجال كما من النساء، "أفكار جيدة حرّة" وهو كتاب عملي، ومفيد جداً عن اللغة العملية ولغة القيادة، وهو مفعم بالقصص الواقعية سردتها النساء وعن النساء. يظهر هذا الكتاب للنساء كيفية استخدام لغة القوة للنجاح في مجال العمل. تستشهد الكاتبة بقصة شبكة شارلوت وشارلوت بطلة هذه القصة امرأة استطاعت جعل من حولها ينصتون إليها، والأكثر من ذلك؛ أنها استخدمت لغة القوة بطريقة أنثوية كلياً، ولم تكن محاربة، ولا أستاذة في استعراض الرجولة واختارت شارولت استخدام قوتها لفعل ما هو جيد في العالم.
هل بإمكان النساء العاملات القيام بمثل هذا وتجيب الكاتبة بأن هؤلاء بإمكانهن محاكاة شارلوت ويكنّ قويات وجيدات في آن بتخليهنّ عن لغة الضعف واستعمالهن لغة القوة. وهي تنصح بمواجهة النسوة للتحدي في إنجاز ما صمّمن على القيام به في مراكز العمل، ومثل شارلوت أيضاً، بإمكان كل امرأة فعل ذلك بثقة من خلال استخدامها للغة القوة، وكتاب "كيف نقولها للنساء" يظهر للنساء كيفية تحقيق ذلك تقول الكاتب للقارئة: انظري إلى مدى ما تعوقك، وتستنزف ثقتك لغة الضعف ومدى ما تعيق نجاحك، ثم تقدمي، خطوة خطوة، نحو تفهم استخدام، وإجادة مهارات اللغة التي تعطيك الثقة والقوة، وسوف تقرئين خلال الكتاب قصصاً عن النساء الحقيقيات، وكما قامت النساء في هذا الكتاب بإغناء حياتهن في العمل عبر اللغة، فكذلك ستفنين حياتك أيضاً، وبينما تسيرين قدماً في قراءة كيف تقولها للنساء، فإنك ستتعلمين مهارات اللغة التي ستجعلك قادرة على أن تظهرين وأنت: تتغلبين على الرعب من التكلم علناً، تبدين واثقة وتشعرين بالثقة، تدلين بتصاريح دون تردد، تحصلين على المصداقية لإنجازاتك، تبرعين في أنواع التواصل المفيدة، تتحدثين بحيث تلتفتين الأنظار، تقدمين رسائل إيجابية من خلال الإيماءات، تقدمين توجهات واضحة يريد الناس اتباعها، تبتعدين عن الافتراءات، الإهانات والمضايقات، تجرين اجتماعات فعّالة، تنصتين بحيث تلتقطين الرسالة دوماً، تؤثرين على القرارات السياسية في القمة. إذن فإن هذا الكتاب يتجاوز مناقشات الأفكار العامة، فهو يقدم أمثلة ونماذج محددة للاقتداء بها؛ بل إنه يوفر "قصاصات" ونصوصاً تلائم الأوضاع التي تواجهها معظم النساء، ويقدم خطط عمل بالإمكان اتباعها وتطبيقها في العمل.
نبذة الناشر:
لقد بدأ هذا الكتاب في سنة ١٩٨٩ في منتدى بعنوان «القوة» فقد أعلن متحدث: «أن أحدًا لا ينصت إلى النساء في مكان عمله». فغضبت وفكرت هذا غير صحيح أن الناس ينصتون لبعض النساء.

Genres: Business, Nonfiction, Self Help, Professional Development, Communication, Leadership, Womens

386 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2018

Reviews

[Creolecat · Rating 3 out of 5]

There were many good strategies presented that made perfect sense; the use of action verbs, eliminating hedges and tags. However, I did not accept Dr. Mindell’s overall ideology and found a few things unsettling:

1. Dr. Mindell’s goal is to empower women –and I applaud her for that. But her way of empowering us is to belittle us. This route is unacceptable; we are not little girls, so don’t treat us as such to make us stronger;
2. Dr. Mindell repeatedly mentions files she has on male executives who resort to telling dirty or demeaning jokes, and calling women in the boardroom “babe,” “broad,” “dame,” “dolly,” etc. Really?? Maybe in the 1970s they did this, but if anyone today made these statements, as she claims, they would find themselves in H.R. She knows as well as I do this would not be tolerated;
3. She suggests women make use of metaphors: make work a tapestry, a garden, a birthplace. Are you kidding me? Dr. Mindell – am I an executive running a business, or a person trying to domesticate the workplace?? Would she ask the same of a man?
4. Dr. Mindell stresses for women to act like men – yet she’s constantly pointing a finger at males in a derogatory way. I don’t understand her hypocritical thinking;
5. Chapter 6 “Stand up and Speak like a Woman” No, Dr. Mindell, we need to stand up and speak like a professional! Anyone can see we’re women; do we need to stand behind a podium and prove we’re women to be taken seriously in the workplace? This is bunk.

There were many items I wished she had addressed. For example, the different voices women use when speaking to follow employees and different levels of management. I’ve heard it and it makes me cringe.
A lot of top executives are women and there is the relationship between the female manager and the female employee. She doesn’t address the underlining rivalry that exists.

Is adopting masculine traits such a good thing?

If I ever have the opportunity to attend one of Dr. Mindell’s lectures, I would ask her to clarify a lot of items. I’m glad I read this book as I can see what not to do, and what I can build upon. But I can only give this book three stars.

[Tré · Rating 2 out of 5]

When I read these "women in business books" I thought there were important. Almost 10 years later I find them insulting. Though I suppose they were a necessary step to get me where I am today.

[Alice]

Last month I went to teachers' workshop on ideas to use in the teaching various genres to junior high kids. She used this book in some of her examples. It sounded great.

From the forward:

"Nobody listens to women."

While the author at first bristled at that remark, she set out to research the language of women and the language of weakness. She gives practical, usable tips that can help working women gain confidence, respect and success by changing their language.

I'll let you know.

[Cici Conger-portie · Rating 2 out of 5]

"From personal experience I can say that the strategies recommended in this book only apply if you are working within a certain range of cultures. Applying these strategies outside of that range can make your situation worse rather than better. My advice: focus on the culture within which you want to be successful and create strategies that will work for you there. It is the culture that will be the deciding factor; whether you are male or female is just sub-component to consider."

[HeatherT Taylor · Rating 4 out of 5]

The author teaches professional women how to modify their language to be more assertive and project a more powerful image. I found her suggestions very useful and practice the techniques every day. I've even started mentoring fellow female co-workers at their request.

[Janet · Rating 4 out of 5]

Women communicate differently and it can come across as depowering. The book was helpful in learning how to express myself more effectively, particularly with male, C level audiences.

[Heba · Rating 3 out of 5]

كتاب ممكن يفيد صاحبات الشأن ومن يعملون في مجال التطوير لكن هو عبارة عن: قل هذا ولا تقل هذا فطريقته ليست الأنسب برأيي

[Annie · Rating 3 out of 5]

There was a lot in this book that didn't really apply for my current work situation but there were some good tips. I'm thinking more about how I structure sentences. Don't start sentences w/ 'I' unless you're the subject and use more action word instead of emotional words (limiting using works like 'feel').

[Amy · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is an interesting book studying the way women present themselves and the many little habits that many of us have that can undermine our ability to effectively communicate in the work place. I don't agree with all of her recommendations, but her observations are spot on. And many of the recommendations are very helpful. It shows the importance of self-expression, confidence, language, and presentation. Overall, a helpful book for young professional women.

[Mystique]

Another book that I've read for a professional book club. Well-written.

If I had to summarize it in a sentence, this book is about women speaking succinctly (as it claims men do).

There. I guess the book worked. ;)

It's a good book. I find myself using the principles in my professional life (but certainly not in my private life, where I ramble endlessly).

[Candice · Rating 4 out of 5]

I am only a few chapters into this book, but I am finding it to be extremely valuable. I have already starting implementing what I have learned. Every woman working in a corporate or business environment should read this book.

[Jean · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book offers crystal-clear explanations of what works and what doesn't and why, for both written and spoken communication. There's plenty of great advice for anyone, male or female, who wants to be a better and more effective communicator.

[Carielyn Mills · Rating 2 out of 5]

now i don't need to read charlotte's web

[Cindi Van Meir · Rating 5 out of 5]

I learned a lot about bad habits I have...need a refresher course I think!