No Deals, Mr. Bond

John Gardner's Bond #6

by John Gardner

Two female agents of Operation Cream Cake - double agents and honey traps against the KGB - are murdered. Bond must find the others and conduct them to safety before they meet a similar fate.

In a race against time, Bond travels to Ireland and the KGB is soon on the scene. But all is not as it seems and soon Bond finds he needs all his wits to negotiate a labyrinth of double-crossing that is to lead him to a bewildering showdown in a remote corner of the Kowloon province of Hong Kong, where, weaponless, he is hunted by four assassins.

No Deals, Mr. Bond is the sixth in the bestselling series created by John Gardner, and one of the most original and unpredictable.

Genres: Fiction, Thriller, Espionage, Action, Mystery, Adventure, Spy Thriller

317 pages, Mass Market Paperback

First published January 1, 1987

About the author

Before coming an author of fiction in the early 1960s, John Gardner was variously a stage magician, a Royal Marine officer and a journalist. In all, Gardner has fifty-four novels to his credit, including Maestro, which was the New York Times book of the year. He was also invited by Ian Fleming’s literary copyright holders to write a series of continuation James Bond novels, which proved to be so successful that instead of the contracted three books he went on to publish some fourteen titles, including Licence Renewed and Icebreaker.

Having lived in the Republic of Ireland, the United States and the UK, John Gardner sadly died in August of 2007 having just completed his third novel in the Moriarty trilogy, Conan Doyle’s eponymous villain of the Sherlock Holmes series.

Reviews

[Thomas Stroemquist · Rating 3 out of 5]

Bond pulls out a group of young double agents from East Germany in the wake of a blown "honeypot" operation. Five years later, someone is killing them off, despite new identities. 'M' sends Bond outside of any sanctions or support for reasons I cannot exactly remember 200 pages later... A very nice surprise for me, Gardner's no. 6 is a good and entertaining Bond story. I think much of his success lies in keeping it simple; the storyline in this one could be summarized in quite few words. Bond is also a step away from the movie character and one closer to Fleming's agent I think (even though I always picture Gardner's Bond as Connery from "Never Say Never Again" - I know he was only 53 at the time, but...). Apart from a few oddities that always seem to slip by his editors in these, it's a good read, arguably his best this far and a solid 4-star book. Up until the silly endgame that is. I'm knocking a star off on account of the numerous 'but why?'s and 'yeah, right!'s the last few chapters invoked. But this book do bring good hopes for more entertaining stories among the subsequent ones!

P.S. My favorite 'oddity' in this one. I hear that it is generally a good idea for a writer to at least attempt to perform the sometimes complicated moves and actions he or she describes and generally, I think Gardner is quite skilled in this art. Fight scenes with quick moves, sleigh of hand, car chases, and more, flows quite well. Therefore it was funny that I should get stuck on: "[...] 'After that, we play it by ear.' He gave her a light kiss on each ear as though to underline the point." Is it just me, or does that sound really awkward? How do you go about that? Grab the chin and twist? Walk around from side to side? Can you see James Bond doing it?

[Terry Cornell · Rating 3 out of 5]

I thought this one started a little slow, but the pace picked up. Typical Bond plot line, a little corny, but a fast entertaining read.

[Ron Wroblewski · Rating 4 out of 5]

A good Bond book with surprises throughout and one big one at the end.

[James · Rating 3 out of 5]

Gardner's best Bond outing by far - although it's leaping a pretty low bar. Double and even triple agents all over the place, a cohesive adventure, let down only by Gardner's paper-thin Bond and stupid code names: Operation Cream Cake?

[Art · Rating 5 out of 5]

No Deals, Mr. Bond by John Gardner is Gardner Bond novel number six. I know I've said it before and I'll say it again John Gardner just gets Bond. In this novel, Bond is put in the most vonrewabble and terrifying situation. Our super spy is set on a double secret mission in which he has no official support. Bond must use everything an agent of his ability has at his disposal in order to complete the mission and come out alive. Gardner spins the super spy world upside down. The trust no one mantra is on full display here. No help. No one coming. No hope. No deals, Mr. Bond. The action is well paced and not over used. Gardner has his now famous twists and turns littered through out the book all the way until the end. Bond doesn't know where to turn neither does he know who to trust. The tension in this book gets up to ten and stays there all the way to the end! This is not the most spy plot heavy book, but the plot and action makes this the most fast paced Gardner Bond novel yet! No first time reader will be able to guess the end and this will make any readers' jaw drop. No Deals, Mr. Bond is a great five star thrill. I almost wish I could delete the memory of the book so I could read it again. Scorpius is the next book in the series, but with so much 007 in my reading scope right now this one will have to wait a short while.

[J.J. Lair · Rating 3 out of 5]

I get the impression that this could’ve been edited down. There were redundant parts. It didn’t get exciting till around 150 pages in (my copy had 317 pages). Good double cross about that time in the story. More conflicts at every turn. Just when you think it will get easy, something goes off. That made the story pick up.

[Paul Lyons · Rating 3 out of 5]

Despite the ridiculous title, John Gardner's sixth James Bond novel is actually quite good. Still bent on defying formula, the author created a tale involving an old, controversial program that rears its ugly head five years after its dissolution. "No Deals, Mr. Bond" reads like a mystery as 007 travels through a highly dangerous world on the least amount of information given to him. The British Secret Intelligent Service has never been more at risk of falling apart.

...which begs the question: how? Has M lost it? Upon the reading the last chapter of "No Deals, Mr. Bond," one learns that not one, but TWO double-agents have been at the root of James Bond's problems. The first one was a German girl Irma Wagen, aka "Heather," who was recruited by the British SAS to become of a lover of a notorious German-Russian KGB agent Maxim Smolin in order to place the agent in a compromised position, and in turn...force him to go work for the "other side." Operation "Cream Cake" (as it was known) turned be a success...Smolin WAS turned, and in fact, it is revealed that he even talks with and takes orders from 007's boss, M. BUT...it turns out that Irma Wagen, aka "Heather was working for the KGB all alone, which would make her a...triple-agent?

The better question is, however, DOES having "Heather" be a triple-agent make sense in context relative to the novel's entire story? It can, I suppose, in the sense that infamous SMERSH General Kolya Chernov used as Irma/Heather as a spy to help track the movements and whereabouts of the other players involved the infamous Operation Cream Cake. So, yes, okay, I can accept that Irma/Heather is a double or triple agent. Better still, I appreciated the fact that the author kept me guessing as to WHO the traitor really was...

...BUT then John Garner goes overboard and makes James Bond's friend in the Irish Republic Garda secret service, Norman Murray, a double-agent as well...because Murray needed the money because had a lot of gambling debts!?? That's just plain silly, and does not entirely track with rest of the novel. I mean, I guess it COULD track if one stretched one's suspension of disbelief to the furthest lengths, but it's a giant stretch, and feels completely unnecessary, especially considering the author already revealed Irma/Heather as a KGB triple-agent...itself a stretch as well.

...which brings to mind, WHY...after all these years, does EVERYONE seem to foolishly underestimate James Bond? Didn't he already ruin a thousand evil plots by S.P.E.C.T.R.E, SMERSH and every other villainous organization? How is everyone so dumb? General Chernov could have done a hundred things with a captured 007 at his mercy. He could have used sodium pentathol to get valuable information from James Bond. He could have taken him to Russia, and tried for crimes against the State. General Chernov also could have just killed 007. What does the General do instead? He sets Bond loose with a Luger pistol on an island near Hong Kong with the hope that one of four violent Russian criminals will destroy 007 once and for all. What a stupid plan, right? HOW could General Kolya Chernov have put in charge of anything, let alone SMERSH, if he was that idiotic?

Also disappointing, the author introduces a mysterious older SIS agent named Swift by name only, who turns up late in the book, gives 007 valuable info, yet despite surviving 1001 missions over the years, is conveniently gunned down in Hong Kong by...I guess...one of General Chernov's men? THEN, it also turns out that Swift got a local Hong Kong boy Richard Han to look after Bond in case Swift is knocked out, and Han conveniently saves James Bond's life at the last second from an evil Russian killer.

Yes, from the title on down, "No Deals, Mr. Bond" is filled with flaws. BUT...the flaws do not necessarily define the quality of the book. Sure, the flaws prevent "No Deals, Mr. Bond" from being a great book. However, thanks to the quality of John Gardner's writing, even when it is hard to understand, and even when it makes no sense...the author has a way with storytelling that fully engaged me, entertained me, and kept me consistently interested.

So, yes...I enjoyed "No Deals, Mr. Bond" much more than I thought I would. It is a shame that John Gardner made so many errors in judgement in terms of logic, yet the author still told the frustratingly nonsensical portions of his novel in a fun, and entertaining way. Okay, so John Gardner's ideas and writing are not perfect, and his sixth James Bond novel is far from perfection. Yet I still enjoyed the read, warts and all.

[DiscoSpacePanther · Rating 2 out of 5]

This was the first James Bond book that I have read as an adult. I ploughed my way through the Ian Fleming novels when I was eleven or twelve, and thoroughly enjoyed their blend of sex, violence and mid- 20th Century adventure. I then continued to get my Bond fix from the John Gardner 007 novels from the '80s, which I enjoyed to a lesser degree, but still enjoyed despite the jarring oddities (Bond drives a Saab 900? Really?).

So now, about 30 years later I picked up "No Deals, Mr. Bond", and thought I'd see if the style held up to a modern reading by an adult.

Short answer: it is positively stone age! When my wife asked me if which outdated attitudes it expressed, I had to reply, "All of them!". From the women who are either psycho-killers or nymphomaniacs (or sometimes both), to the ethnic stereotypical comedy Irish accent of the special branch man, going via the long conversation with a "Chinese" who wants two thousand Hong Kong "dolla", with a short detour via the "effeminate" voice of a hired assassin - this novel ticks all the boxes!

As an adult, all the discussion of style and luxury brands and expensive hotels just seems ludicrous - these are the kinds of things that would impress a douchebag rapper, not a mature member of society. They weren't even aspirational, as apparently the kinds of items and services that were rare and expensive in the mid- '80s are commonplace nowadays, and as likely as not available in your local supermarket.

On the plus side, there was a short detour to an exotic locale, and a game of death with a group of Soviet assassins fighting for their freedom.

In conclusion, it was juvenile and outdated. But, isn't that kind of what we want and expect from a James Bond novel? Two stars! (If I re-read the other Bond books, I'd probably lower their ratings, too!)

[Alger Smythe-Hopkins · Rating 3 out of 5]

As usual, the book version of James Bond inhabits a different and more interesting world than the film version. Published in 1987, the year of The Living Daylights starring Timothy Dalton, the Bond of No Deals, Mr. Bond is a quieter and less violent man. His mission here is to rescue the endangered operatives and find the mole who betrayed them in an old honeypot operation that went very wrong. Like other Gardner efforts in the series, Bond is subdued, more pursued than pursuer, and his body count is far lower than Dalton's. Where Dalton steers a cello case down an alp using a priceless antique, and shoots a defector to freedom using an oil pipeline, the real Bond is occupied with paddling an inflatable onto the Baltic shore and losing a tail in Hong Kong.
I've always preferred that quieter, less murderous Bond, even though his adventures share the same predictable trope of some unrealistically attractive woman along the way will develop an insatiable desire for his peener. This need must be met no matter what else is going on around them. In this novel, the young hottie who latches on to him decides that her moment of opportunity is in the midst of an escape attempt with large caliber bullets perforating the car body. She is an empty character that we are told is lovely endlessly, and she is the archetype of the Bond Girl trope. All she exists for is bedding.

[Dustin Dye · Rating 4 out of 5]

No Deals, Mr. Bond was John Gardner's best book up to this point (even though the title never appears as a line in the book--I guess there is a point when the villain refuses to negotiate, but he doesn't use that line). This book had higher stakes (people are getting killed and mutilated in a gruesome way) and a number of questions running throughout the story, keeping it more engaging that Gardner's previous books, which I found rather insipid or forgettable.

One criticism, which is why I think some of these books are rather boring, is Gardner sometimes undercuts the action with a throwaway line that dispels the tension. During one fight, there was a line that began something like, "Later Bond would realize..." While I didn't think a series's main character would be killed off by a heretofore nameless henchman near the beginning of a book, I still prefer to remain in the moment and feel like the stakes are real.

[Dave · Rating 4 out of 5]

A re-read for me.
I first read this when it came out in 1987. I was a senior in high school.
I enjoy the John Gardner Bonds. It's tough, writing a Bond novel, because you have to please the casual Film Bond fan, as well as the Fleming Novel Bond fan.
Plus, Gardner puts the Fleming Bond into the then current time-the 1980s, without really aging him. Once you get past that as a reader, it's fun.
This is one of my two favorite Gardner Bonds. (Nobody Lives Forever is my other)
Bond is sent on an unofficial mission by M.
On his own and alone.
A quick read that keeps you guessing.

[William · Rating 4 out of 5]

The best of the Gardner Bond novels so far in the series. Gardner seems to be hitting his stride.

[Tim Petersik · Rating 4 out of 5]

Not Ian Fleming, but still a fun romp with all the elements of a typical Bond thriller.

[John Yelverton · Rating 4 out of 5]

The easiest way to describe this book is "Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy" meets "The Most Dangerous Game." It's not your typical James Bond novel, but it's still a good read nonetheless.

[Paul · Rating 3 out of 5]

Pretty mediocre storyline as far as Bond adventures go. Some fun gadgets used but the backstory of a mole operation gone wrong was just a bit dull.

[Kost As · Rating 3 out of 5]

Ωραία! Ο κ. Bond, James Bond, λοιπόν, αυτή τη φορά μπλέκεται σε μια ιστορία γεμάτη γυναίκες! Νέες! Σέξι! Το πιάσαμε το νόημα! Και πέρα από αυτό;; Ε, πέρα από αυτό βάλε μέσα μερικούς κακούς Σοβιετικούς, μερικούς διπλούς πράκτορες, μερικές ανατροπές και ως αποτέλεσμα έχεις το No deals, Mr. Bond! Καλούλι είναι, ωραίος ρυθμός, με συνεχή εναλλαγή τοποθεσιών, ωραίες περιγραφές, φουλ δράση και αρκετά απλή πλοκή αυτή τη φορά, ώστε να θυμάσαι εύκολα από πού ξεκίνησαν όλα! Ό,τι πρέπει αν θέλεις ένα βιβλίο για την παραλία και τις διακοπές! Σίγουρα δε θα μείνει στην ιστορία και λογικά θα πρέπει να διαβάζω την περίληψη κάθε φορά που θα θελήσω να θυμηθώ την πλοκή του βιβλίου στο μέλλον, ενώ σίγουρα μα σίγουρα δεν πρόκειται να διδαχθεί στα πανεπιστημιακά τμήματα της Αγγλικής Λογοτεχνίας!

Υ.Γ.: Στα πολύ θετικά του βιβλίου το ότι επιτέλους το μισητό Saab 900 Turbo δεν εμφανίζεται σε καμία σελίδα! Ούτε καν ως γκεστ σταρ! Εύγε κ. Gardner! Μια χαρά το πας!!

[F.R. · Rating 3 out of 5]

For the most part, this tale of Bond in the dark entangled with beautiful women and double agents is really entertaining. It made me idly hope that Amazon would look towards Gardner for material for their new films. However, it rather does fall apart towards the end.

[Gerald · Rating 3 out of 5]

For me, Gardner's first two Bond novels (Licence Renewed and For Special Services) are a bit weird, bringing a little of his off-kilter Boysie Oakes-style to the Bond franchise (which is what it had become). But his third novel, icebreaker, was one of his best, and it seems he'd found a formula and style that suited the mid-to late eighties period of these books. The follow-ups, Role of Honour, Nobody Lives Forever and this one, No Deals Mr Bond make up his best Bond books, relying more on a Le Carre style tradecraft which suited Fleming's character brought into an eighties world. It fell apart a bit again in the nineties, with the odd exception (The Man from Barbarossa I thought was good).

I re-read them all periodically and really enjoyed this. If only there'd been more films in the second half of the eightgies than The Living Daylights and Licence to Kill then they could have done a lot worse than taken these plots and characters.

My main quibble is that the lead female character, Ebbie Heritage, is so pathetic, all dewy-eyed and cloying. I suppose that's another sense in which this book takes from Fleming, though, and it was when Gardner tried to make his leading female characters stronger that he lost the Bond essence (not necessarily because of that).

Still, if this was Dalton's first Bond, or maybe his third after TLD, fans wouldn't be diassppointed.. neither should fans of cold war spy fiction. It's a good read, and I think that's what this site is all about.

[Ian · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a great Cold War era Bond novel. No surprises but no disappointments with this novel.

[Steve Mitchell · Rating 2 out of 5]

John Gardner’s sixth book in the James Bond series is quite a fast paced affair. Following Bond’s part in allowing a group of agents to flee Redland ‘in their socks’ it becomes apparent that the KGB have tracked them down and are exacting a terrible revenge five years on. M sends Bond in to save the surviving spies from their horrible fate; Bond must go native with no help from the service and he will be left in the cold should he fall foul of even our own police. By using his own contacts from outside the service, Bond manages to track down the survivors; but rapidly realises that there was more to this mission than M told him. Realising that the only reason M would have withheld information and support if there was a traitor on the scene Bond realises he is truly alone and can trust nobody.
Gardner sets out a good plot but all his twists and turns with double- and even triple-agents is beginning to wear a bit thin. If you overuse the twist of hidden moles and good guys pretending that they are bad guys – this is the fourth book in a row built around that plot – then it just loses all impact; it’s obvious Gardner never read the Aesop fable about the boy who cried wolf.

[Eric Keegan · Rating 5 out of 5]

One of the best Bond books ever written. By this point, we know what we’ve come to accept and expect with Gardner’s Bond. I grew into the character changes from demeanor, to cars, to gadgets, and in the end I was fine with it all. He gave a different spin to the Bondiverse and with the books that he wove into gold, it rocked. And with the several misfires, well...anyway, No Deals is Gardner at the top of his game. Well executed and not over the top misdirection, great Bond and M characterizations, thrills a minute with seldom any lulls, classic Fleming feel with that edged candy prose, and one of the only really well executed final acts that Gardner was capable of. Run, do now walk to the nearest Gardner Bond bookshelf and dive into this one immediately. He’s not Connery, Craig, Brosnan, or whoever, he’s a little bit of all of them and comes out the espionage pipeline as a unique literary version of the greatest character of all-time.

[David]

Among the best of Gardner's 007 novels. So many double, even triple agents. And a Bond who makes errors and admits it.

[ManOfLaBook.com · Rating 4 out of 5]

For more reviews and bookish posts visit: https://www.ManOfLaBook.com

No Deals, Mr. Bond by John Gardner follows agent 007 as he attempts to save agents whom he’d extracted after an operation years earlier. This is the sixth James Bond novel written by Mr. Gardner.

On a cold night, James Bond and a team from the Special Forces Boat Group extracted four young women who were used as honeytraps for high-ranking KGB agents. Operation Cream Cake went well but one of the Boats was killed.

Years later, two of the young women are brutally murdered, with their tongues cut out sending a clear message to MI6. Bond is sent by MI6 to find the other women, who have changed their names, but must navigate danger after danger to get them to safety.


One of the things I noticed when reading the John Gardner’s Bond series is how much M hates James Bond. While it’s not out of character for Ian Fleming’s M, in this incarnation the head of MI6 is actively trying to get him killed.

The women in this book are both prostitutes and secret agents, and to make matters worse are not interesting or well written. When Bond talks to them he comes off pompous, he’s not undercover, that’s who he is in this book.

But no one read the Bond books for a dose of reality. Despite these I enjoyed reading No Deals, Mr. Bond by James Gardner. The action is well written, the fight scenes work, and the story is full of double crossing and peculiar violence.

This is a satisfying adventure, and I think it actually reads better in 2025 than it did when originally published in 1987. The casual racism is still there, and someone’s ideal of what “manliness” is, but it reads much more tongue in cheek than it was probably meant to be.

In fact, there are so many occurrences of silliness in this book that it’s hard for me to imaging Mr. Gardner didn’t do it on purpose. It’s a cohesive adventure, despite much of the inanity and absurd code names.

[Stuart Dean · Rating 4 out of 5]

Five years ago, the SIS ran a honeypot operation against the East Germans. Five attractive young people were sent to gather info from various high-ranking officials. The mission was blown and all five were spirited away, given new identities and new lives. Now two of them are dead with their tongues cut out, and James Bond is sent to collect the remaining three. Bond starts collecting them in London and Dublin, just ahead of the Soviet GRU and his old enemy, SMERSH. But not always ahead, and clearly one or more of his targets are in fact double agents. Bond can trust no one, not even old friends, and he travels all over Ireland, Paris, and eventually Hong Kong, getting captured and uncaptured, and has no clue as to who is working against him.

This is a fast-paced story covering less than a week, with a good deal of fighting and shooting and stabbing and dog fighting. Bond reveals a good many contacts outside of the Service, many of whom end up deaded. Along the way he figures out that M has kept him in the dark on many things, and the ultimate plan involves capturing one of the most wanted SMERSH officers. All without official help from the SIS.

It's a good story, with Bond at his best, working alone, sometimes making dumb decisions, sometimes being brilliant, and always paranoid. Gardner even manages to sneak his beloved Saab into the mix. Who the turncoat is remains a constant mystery, with many red herrings to confuse the isssue. Even some of the enemy turn out to be friends. Possibly the best Bond story by Gardner so far, clearly he has learned how to write a true James Bond novel.

[Keith · Rating 3 out of 5]

Reading John Gardner's Bond series was a staple for me during my high school years. These were the books of choice whenever my family was on vacation at the beach. So there is a nostalgic aspect to reading these. This time round, I enjoyed Gardner's writing style, finding it breezy to read and providing just enough descriptive details to help with visualizing the locales. Definitely Gardner does a good job with the travelogue aspect of Bond novels, taking us to Ireland, Paris, and Hong Kong. The overall plot held my attention and my curiosity. Along with Bond I was trying to figure out who was the double-agent. I recognize that climatic final battles are always tough to write. So many books striving for thrills fall flat in the wrap up. This one suffers from that tendency. It's got all the worst tropes of the genre, especially with a villain who wants to toy with Bond rather than eliminate him while he's got him at his mercy. Additionally, the gadgets save the day! Ugh! Aside from the weak ending, I enjoyed it and don't regret reading it.

[Richard Gray · Rating 3 out of 5]

Read as part of my Inconstant Reader chronicles and reviewed in full at The Reel Bits. It's filled wil spoilers, so here's a non-spoilery extract:

When it was released in 1987, some reviews were less than kind. Roger Moore has retired from his Bond involvement,” wrote one critic on Kirkus. “It’s time for Gardner, who’s now just going through the motions, to do the same.” Time has been much kinder to this adventure, perhaps because we’ve seen and read less satisfying adventures in the decades that followed. NO DEALS, MR. BOND represents 007 at his most reliable.

[David Dalton · Rating 4 out of 5]

Keeping up with my Bond reading. I try to read 2 to 3 James Bond thrillers a year. Currently trying to catch up on the John Gardner Bond thrillers from the 80's. I would think the Fleming fans should get into this Bond story, very similar in style. I have also read alot of the Benson Bond thrillers such as


Pretty sure my next Bond thriller will be the new one by Anthony Horowitz: (be sure to check out the previous Bond thrillers by Horowitz).

[nomitnnamssarg · Rating 4 out of 5]

7/10

A very standard Gardner Bond novel (as far as I can tell). It is fast-paced and not very hard to understand, to put it kindly. However, I don’t see this as a problem - it is a Bond novel, and this is exactly what I expected. I do like an unpretentious quick read.
However, two things bothered me: Firstly, and mainly, the terrible sexism throughout this book. Other books of Gardner’s weren’t that bad in this respect, in this one, however, the sexism was even on a Fleming-ish scale. Secondly, I found some of Bond’s actions to be quite illogical.
But overall, if you’re looking for a pleasant and easy read, I’d recommend this book anyways.

[Stan Stepak · Rating 1 out of 5]

Predicted surprise sections but otherwise a good read. Needed more bond like gadgets to carry more fun to it. I recommend reading a few others before this one. Good look on your next Bond read!!!!

Predicted surprise sections but otherwise a good read. Needed more bond like gadgets to carry more fun to it. I recommend reading a few others before this one. Good look on your next Bond read!!!!

[Donald · Rating 5 out of 5]

Gardner’s Bond gets better with each book

I’ve been reading the Gardner James Bond books in order, and while I was pretty critical of the first couple of outings, “No Deals Mr. Bond” was really enjoyable. The plot was very plausible, the characters well-drawn (mostly), and the globe-trotting action was very realistic. Bond relied on his training and experience far more than on Q-Branch magic, which made for a much better book.

I can recommend this one to Bond aficionados!