The Emotionally Healthy Child: Helping Children Calm, Center, and Make Smarter Choices

by Maureen Healy

While growing up has never been easy, today's world undeniably presents kids and their parents with unprecedented challenges. The upside, cites Maureen Healy, is a widespread acknowledgment that emotional health, resilience, and equilibrium can be learned and strengthened. Healy, who was a "wild child," the kind, she writes who left babysitters "wondering if they wanted children" knows her subject. She has become an expert on teaching skills that address the high sensitivity, big emotions, and hyper energy she herself experienced. Three simple steps are key ― Stop, Calm, and Make a Smart Choice. While not always easy, these steps are powerful and Healy shows readers exactly how to implement them. Children move from acting out or shutting down, experiencing frequent physical symptoms such as head and stomach aches or hurting themselves or others, to recognizing they are being triggered, feeling their emotions, and using strategies to respond from a calmer place. As adults learn to model these skills, both adults and children become freer to do and be their best.

Genres: Parenting, Nonfiction

232 pages, Paperback

Published October 9, 2018

Reviews

[Carla · Rating 5 out of 5]

When it comes to my children, I would do anything for them - I want to ensure that they know that they are loved, that they can accomplish anything they set their minds to, that I am proud of them and that I support them. I also want to ensure that they have the skills to cope in a world that can be unkind and ever-changing.

Having suffered with mental health for years, I know how anxiety can creep in slowly and can destroy your confidence and self-worth. I still struggle to this day and have to find ways to calm my mind and emotions down. I worry that my children will pick up on this or even inherit some of this from myself and I want and need to prepare myself with the knowledge and tools to help them. I have had to learn not to be reactive but instead calm myself and understand the situation before dealing with the situation.

All children have a hard time dealing with strong emotions, especially when they are placed in situations like preschool, daycare, school and even at home where they are not always in control. This book is not just for children who are struggling to handle their emotions but for all children regardless of age and their parents. Emotions are an everyday part of life and we all need to learn to recognize these emotions and learn how to control our actions. This is not just a skill for children but a skill that you will need your whole life.

This book teaches you about identifying emotions and empowers you as a parent to help guide your child through them. Maureen points out common statements that we may make as a parent (which seem harmless) but to a child may be taken out of context and cause them to react further. We need to look past the superficial reason a child may be acting out and learn the whys behind their actions before we can help guide them through their emotions. Children may be labelled as "bad" but if we look at why they are acting out, we can help understand them, show them we care and guide them through it. I loved how she helped us learn each emotion and gave us helpful tips and tools on how to deal with a wide range of situations. Some of the tools I have implemented in my own work day (hand over heart and deep breathing), as well as downloading one of the suggested apps for my phone to help us as a family with mindfulness. I loved the wide range of quotes that she includes throughout the book (one of my favourite is at the top of this section) as it helps to put what we are learning into perspective in each chapter.

This book is a must have parenting book - it is full of tools, tips and situations that prepare, guide and teach us how to handle a wide variety of situations. It not only will help you become a better parent in understanding your child but also assist you in becoming a better emotionally balanced parent. A win for both parties!

[Melissa · Rating 3 out of 5]

I didn't find this book helpful - but that was largely because she is talking about raising children younger than my own. I actually decided not to finish the book as it was repetitive to others I have already read.

[Lilly · Rating 5 out of 5]

In moments of panic and disorder, every parent wishes they had tools to calm the situation and help a child find balance. I love that this book moves beyond theory to a series of practical exercises, reminders and examples of how to change the vibe when a child is out of balance. The book takes a very realistic approach to parenting: you won't always get things right, but trying to steer your kid, and working from where you are, is a huge first step.

I would argue this book is as valuable for the child as the parent reading it; it's a great reminder of where we need to stop *ourselves*, calm, and make good choices!

I appreciated the anecdotes from clinical life, and the various tools Healy gives readers to work through difficult moments with their kids. This book is one I've already come back to reference, and will continue to!

disclaimer: I repped this, and read it this year with fresh eyes, as a parent

[Ikram Taouanza · Rating 4 out of 5]

"Your emotions follow your thoughts just as surely as baby ducks follow their mother."

Love the clear advice on emotional balance. Parents and children can benefit a lot of this. I will definately try to "stop, calm and make a smarter choice". And hopefully my babygirl will imitate my behavior :).

The tools and strategies in this book are very useful. The only reason im not giving it 5 stars, is that the information could be ordered in an other, more logical and compact way.

[Sarah Gardyne · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a good book with good tools. At times it actually felt like there was too much in it as was trying to do it as I read. It will be a great book to return to and grow with. My main criticism is its overly focused on children being happier in a way that somewhat undermines the focus on emotions. I wish there we more of a focus on emotions teaching us things about ourselves but this will be just one tool in my toolbox

[Katie Testa · Rating 3 out of 5]

Useful but I just got bored. I will revisit later.

[Natalie S Miller · Rating 5 out of 5]

So many great tools for calming and soothing kiddos!

[Cate · Rating 4 out of 5]

Really good resource with tools for helping kids develop their emotional intelligence--so good that I have purchased a used copy for my own reference as my kiddo grows :)

[Caitlyn Abear · Rating 4 out of 5]

A little repetitive at times but an overall great parenting book. I will use alot the information as reference points for when I am working on big emotions with my children.

[Rebecca J · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great tools!

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[Tristy at New World Library · Rating 5 out of 5]

Endorsements:
“I hope Maureen Healy’s book The Emotionally Healthy Child will contribute to a more wholesome education for future generations.”
— His Holiness the Dalai Lama

“Healy helps parents realize a level of emotional balance for their child, and parents may also apply her methods in their own lives. After all, as Healy reminds readers throughout, the path to emotional health is the path to happiness.”
— Booklist

“Maureen Healy provides simple yet life-changing tools to raise more mindful children.”
— Dr. Saamdu Chetri, former director of Gross National Happiness for Bhutan

“At last, a brilliant road map of what emotional health in children is, along with amazingly accessible tools of emotional coaching to help them get there. Generously filled with real-life examples and learning scenarios any parent, teacher, or coach can relate to, plus exercises to teach the necessary skills, this book is a real gift.”
— Linda Graham, MFT, author of Bouncing Back: Rewiring Your Brain for Maximum Resilience and Well-Being and Resilience: Powerful Practices for Bouncing Back from Disappointment, Difficulty, and Even Disaster

“Full of interesting stories and ready-to-use parenting tools, The Emotionally Healthy Child is one parenting book worth picking up in 2019.”
— San Francisco Book Review, 5 Star Review

“The Emotionally Healthy Child provides practical advice that is both accessible and potentially transformative — for the child, the parent, and their relationship. Read it, read it again, and then, more importantly, apply it.”
— Tal Ben-Shahar, PhD, author of Happier: Learn the Secrets to Daily Joy and Lasting Fulfillment

“The Emotionally Healthy Child can help any adult who wants to raise healthier and ultimately happier children in today’s world.”
— Michele Borba, EdD, author of UnSelfie: Why Empathetic Kids Succeed in Our All-About-Me World

“The Emotionally Healthy Child is a wonderful addition to the growing library of resources for parents and educators about the critical importance of understanding what emotional health looks like in the young. Maureen Healy provides us with clear and simple strategies to help children ‘use the “dirt” of their daily experiences and steer toward the lotus of their lives.’ In doing so, she provides a manual for ‘progress without perfection.’ A real gift.”
— Claire Kelly, director of Mindfulness in Schools Project (MiSP)

[Karyn · Rating 4 out of 5]

Informative, helpful read.