What do you think?
Rate this book
Tender Warrior: God's Design for Men
Leader. Protector. Friend. Lover.
God made you to be each of these…and much more. Stu Weber ’s bestseller, now revised throughout and refreshed with an attractive new look, paints a dramatic and compelling picture of balanced manhood according to God’s vision. Written in a warm, personal style, Weber presents the characteristics of tender warriors—including learning to speak the language of women, watching out for what lies ahead, and keeping commitments—in an upfront, straightforward style that challenges readers to realize God’s plan for men.
{BANNER ACROSS TOP:}
More than 365,000 copies sold!
Some Things Are Worth Fighting For
Young men aspire to it. Women admire it. Yet the definition of manhood itself is obscured by a culture in moral free fall. This book cuts through the fog and defines a powerful blueprint for being the man—the Tender Warrior—that God desires for you and your family. You’ll discover that a Tender Warrior: watches out for what lies ahead—like a wagon train scout; keeps his commitments, no matter how painful; has a tender heart beating beneath his armor; understands his responsibility to his wife, children, and friends; recognizes that he is “under orders from higher headquarters.”
Stu Weber ’s now classic teaching on a man’s vigilance, staying power, and consideration for the women in his life will move you to pursue the man you were created to be.
Real Men Are Tender Warriors
“I drank Budweiser, smoked Marlboros, and chased women…. Tender Warrior sent me deeper into my heart and soul. When I finished it, I passed it on to a friend, who was supposed to give it back but passed it on to someone else. This book changed his life. It knocked down the walls around his heart. His response: ‘The most important thing that has happened in my life started when you sent me that book.’”
—A reader
Story Behind the Book
((no story behind. Instead, endorsements)):
“ Tender Warrior provides hope for men by challenging their assumptions and shaping their convictions. Read it. Devour it. Then live it. This is the time for real men to emerge.”
—Dennis Rainey, executive director, FamilyLife
“In a day when our culture is at once confused and concerned over gender identity, men everywhere would to do well to recalibrate their personal compasses by the biblical benchmarks found in Tender Warrior . I highly recommend this book!”
—Dr. Bruce Wilkinson , New York Times bestselling author
From the Trade Paperback edition.
God made you to be each of these…and much more. Stu Weber ’s bestseller, now revised throughout and refreshed with an attractive new look, paints a dramatic and compelling picture of balanced manhood according to God’s vision. Written in a warm, personal style, Weber presents the characteristics of tender warriors—including learning to speak the language of women, watching out for what lies ahead, and keeping commitments—in an upfront, straightforward style that challenges readers to realize God’s plan for men.
{BANNER ACROSS TOP:}
More than 365,000 copies sold!
Some Things Are Worth Fighting For
Young men aspire to it. Women admire it. Yet the definition of manhood itself is obscured by a culture in moral free fall. This book cuts through the fog and defines a powerful blueprint for being the man—the Tender Warrior—that God desires for you and your family. You’ll discover that a Tender Warrior: watches out for what lies ahead—like a wagon train scout; keeps his commitments, no matter how painful; has a tender heart beating beneath his armor; understands his responsibility to his wife, children, and friends; recognizes that he is “under orders from higher headquarters.”
Stu Weber ’s now classic teaching on a man’s vigilance, staying power, and consideration for the women in his life will move you to pursue the man you were created to be.
Real Men Are Tender Warriors
“I drank Budweiser, smoked Marlboros, and chased women…. Tender Warrior sent me deeper into my heart and soul. When I finished it, I passed it on to a friend, who was supposed to give it back but passed it on to someone else. This book changed his life. It knocked down the walls around his heart. His response: ‘The most important thing that has happened in my life started when you sent me that book.’”
—A reader
Story Behind the Book
((no story behind. Instead, endorsements)):
“ Tender Warrior provides hope for men by challenging their assumptions and shaping their convictions. Read it. Devour it. Then live it. This is the time for real men to emerge.”
—Dennis Rainey, executive director, FamilyLife
“In a day when our culture is at once confused and concerned over gender identity, men everywhere would to do well to recalibrate their personal compasses by the biblical benchmarks found in Tender Warrior . I highly recommend this book!”
—Dr. Bruce Wilkinson , New York Times bestselling author
From the Trade Paperback edition.
224 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 1993
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 30 of 100 reviews
September 24, 2020
I owe this book a re-read; I was probably twelve my first time through. I remember it as a book that might now be characterized as "evangelicalism's counter to mainstream toxic masculinity." Evangelical culture has, of course, its own breeds of toxic masculinity, but if memory serves (I hope it does) you'd find no support for that kind in Weber's book either.
It ought to go without saying (but probably doesn't) that any book which isolates men or women, or compares/contrasts them, in order to propose an ideal model for any gender, is necessarily complementarian, at least implicitly binary, and almost always unconscious of the extent of cultural influence on the author's views.
(Complementarianism: the view that persons of each gender have unique and particular strengths to contribute to any cooperative social unit, rarely so available to persons of another gender; as opposed to Egalitarianism: the view that persons of all genders are potentially fully interchangeable in all social and collaborative respects, except reproduction. And it's really difficult, if not impossible, to address either of the basic assertions "men and women are essentially different", "men and women are the essentially same" in the abstract, because of how deeply and indelibly culture influences gender).
I suspect, however, that there are many ways to be "ideally human," and that people are, so to speak, "kitted out" for a subset of these ideals through a combination of biology, personality, formative experience, and individual aspiration. If so, then books which point to a particular subset of human ideals, like Weber's, are valuable and worthwhile for persons of a particular kit, who need good models to shape the raw material of themselves toward; and only become harmful when touted as a singular ideal with universal application. Books like these are written to serve the mainstream, not the outliers. Whatever their good intentions and good effect on the mainstream may be, they don't - and can't - help outliers determine who they should become. That requires a more nuanced learner - or a more nuanced guide.
It ought to go without saying (but probably doesn't) that any book which isolates men or women, or compares/contrasts them, in order to propose an ideal model for any gender, is necessarily complementarian, at least implicitly binary, and almost always unconscious of the extent of cultural influence on the author's views.
(Complementarianism: the view that persons of each gender have unique and particular strengths to contribute to any cooperative social unit, rarely so available to persons of another gender; as opposed to Egalitarianism: the view that persons of all genders are potentially fully interchangeable in all social and collaborative respects, except reproduction. And it's really difficult, if not impossible, to address either of the basic assertions "men and women are essentially different", "men and women are the essentially same" in the abstract, because of how deeply and indelibly culture influences gender).
I suspect, however, that there are many ways to be "ideally human," and that people are, so to speak, "kitted out" for a subset of these ideals through a combination of biology, personality, formative experience, and individual aspiration. If so, then books which point to a particular subset of human ideals, like Weber's, are valuable and worthwhile for persons of a particular kit, who need good models to shape the raw material of themselves toward; and only become harmful when touted as a singular ideal with universal application. Books like these are written to serve the mainstream, not the outliers. Whatever their good intentions and good effect on the mainstream may be, they don't - and can't - help outliers determine who they should become. That requires a more nuanced learner - or a more nuanced guide.
November 7, 2023
I am now a Tender Warrior!
I enjoyed this book! I read half of it with the men's ministry at my church and the other half on my own. I think Stu does an excellent job conveying Biblical ideas using his own experiences and stories - as well as experiences and stories of other's he knows. He uses lots of military language - which I happen to really enjoy!
Each chapter ends with discussion questions and something I did was answer all of them - that I could or that were applicable to me - as I could. I found this really helpful to break down and digest the topics he discusses; and to make it more personal to my own life. I dated each page of questions I answered. The idea behind this was that in the future I may reread or at least revisit this book - and also my questions - and then see what has changed. Almost like a time-capsule in a way, only with my thoughts instead of with things.
My only issue with this book is that it talks about being a husband and about being a father. Those are great things! And I want to be in both of those roles someday - Lord willing! But when I found it annoying in trying to answer some of the discussion questions that asked about "your wife" or "your children." So I had to leave them blank. I wanted to read this book to prepare for being a husband and a father, but didn't feel I could participate with the material fully on this side of those roles. However, as I was reading I often thought that I wouldn't want to read these things after being a husband or a father, because what if I was too late in addressing something pertaining to being a husband or being a father after it was applicable?
So my critique is that I don't know when to recommend reading this book. Too early and yeah it's nice to be prepared but you may feel left out when it comes to relating to the material. Too late and yeah you will learn wisdom in what to do, yet may not be able to apply it because the window has passed.
That being said I do recommend this book for men looking to become Tender Warriors for God's Kingdom. And I recommend it for Churches who want the men in their congregations to step up into the roles God has called them to!
I enjoyed this book! I read half of it with the men's ministry at my church and the other half on my own. I think Stu does an excellent job conveying Biblical ideas using his own experiences and stories - as well as experiences and stories of other's he knows. He uses lots of military language - which I happen to really enjoy!
Each chapter ends with discussion questions and something I did was answer all of them - that I could or that were applicable to me - as I could. I found this really helpful to break down and digest the topics he discusses; and to make it more personal to my own life. I dated each page of questions I answered. The idea behind this was that in the future I may reread or at least revisit this book - and also my questions - and then see what has changed. Almost like a time-capsule in a way, only with my thoughts instead of with things.
My only issue with this book is that it talks about being a husband and about being a father. Those are great things! And I want to be in both of those roles someday - Lord willing! But when I found it annoying in trying to answer some of the discussion questions that asked about "your wife" or "your children." So I had to leave them blank. I wanted to read this book to prepare for being a husband and a father, but didn't feel I could participate with the material fully on this side of those roles. However, as I was reading I often thought that I wouldn't want to read these things after being a husband or a father, because what if I was too late in addressing something pertaining to being a husband or being a father after it was applicable?
So my critique is that I don't know when to recommend reading this book. Too early and yeah it's nice to be prepared but you may feel left out when it comes to relating to the material. Too late and yeah you will learn wisdom in what to do, yet may not be able to apply it because the window has passed.
That being said I do recommend this book for men looking to become Tender Warriors for God's Kingdom. And I recommend it for Churches who want the men in their congregations to step up into the roles God has called them to!
September 5, 2008
WOW!! I am fired up to become a Tender Warrior. This is one of the most influential pieces of literature I have ever read (not that I have read many books as you can see by my collection here, but just hear me out). Stu Weber has griped my heart and my soul and has given me my VISION my PURPOSE in life. Every great company has a vision or a mission statement and I believe that every Man/Family should have one too in order to be successful. In the words of the apostle Paul, “For to me, to live, is Christ.” that’s my VISION, my new PURPOSE. I recommend this book to any man who has not yet found their purpose in life, and by purpose, I mean Christ. I plan to buy this book and to re-read it and reference back to it whenever I’m in situation that requires me to think outside of myself. This book is truly, in Weber’s words, “Every man’s purpose, every woman’s dream, every child’s hope.”
November 22, 2022
The first 25% of this book will stay with me for a very long time.
May 13, 2026
Și până când eu și tu nu ne îndreptăm fețele înspre chemarea lui Hristos, nu vom fi cu adevărat bărbați.
August 10, 2026
I’ll definitely read again….and again!
February 18, 2018
Even a cursory look at popular culture reveals that masculinity is under fire on every front. The old manly virtues of courage, honor, perseverance, responsibility, integrity and reverence are increasingly disparaged in favor of sensitivity and emotional intuitiveness. Perhaps men are to blame for this war on masculinity. Men have dropped the ball. We’ve let down our families in favor of our “careers,” our hobbies...our selfish passions. Unfaithful husbands and absentee fathers have left a vacuum of leadership in our world—a void that has been inevitably filled by disintegrating marriages and children who struggle to understand their identity and life purpose.
Stu Weber tackles the urgent task of recovering masculinity in this excellent and engaging volume. The title itself captures his balanced message: (1) Men must be tough; (2) Men must be tender. The Divine intent for men involves both calloused hands and loving hearts.
Replete with illustrations, quotes, anecdotes and Biblical wisdom, “Tender Warrior” calls men to fulfill their God-given role of Provider (Weber uses the metaphor of “king” to illustrate this), Protector (“warrior”), Teacher (“mentor”), and Lover (“friend”). On the “warrior” side, men must be committed, wise, diligent, courageous, and responsible. On the “tender” side, men must learn to listen, to communicate, to open up, to love.
I love the story of General Schwarzkopf’s tears in chapter 5. It encapsulates the balance between toughness and tenderness, the dominant motif of the book.
This title will be one of my “go to” resources in pastoral ministry to family and marriage counseling scenarios from this point forward.
Stu Weber tackles the urgent task of recovering masculinity in this excellent and engaging volume. The title itself captures his balanced message: (1) Men must be tough; (2) Men must be tender. The Divine intent for men involves both calloused hands and loving hearts.
Replete with illustrations, quotes, anecdotes and Biblical wisdom, “Tender Warrior” calls men to fulfill their God-given role of Provider (Weber uses the metaphor of “king” to illustrate this), Protector (“warrior”), Teacher (“mentor”), and Lover (“friend”). On the “warrior” side, men must be committed, wise, diligent, courageous, and responsible. On the “tender” side, men must learn to listen, to communicate, to open up, to love.
I love the story of General Schwarzkopf’s tears in chapter 5. It encapsulates the balance between toughness and tenderness, the dominant motif of the book.
This title will be one of my “go to” resources in pastoral ministry to family and marriage counseling scenarios from this point forward.
April 5, 2022
Stu Weber’s treatise on manhood as God intended is a near perfect summarization of all aspects of masculinity and the balance to be had therein that is fulfilled in the person of Jesus Christ.
I started reading this book because I wanted to explore another Godly man’s perspective on what it means to be a man and how to be that man in a culture that is hopelessly confused and downright deceptive on the subject. If you are expecting to read a book written by a lonely thinker or a mere theologian who lacks the practical experience to back up his claims, you will not find that here.
The author of this book is open about his shortcomings and successes while being an Army Ranger, Football Coach, Pastor, Husband, Father, Leader, and friend. Many of his stories are gripping and serve as powerful metaphors for the message he is preaching through these pages.
I was shocked at how well Stu Weber so passionately stressed the need for men to be both tender and warrior-like at heart! In fact, its almost incredible how this book inspires me to lock arms with men in gritty battle while simultaneously moves me to open up to others more about my deep feelings and thoughts on things, as us men should. Men don’t need friends, no, we don’t need the shallow first-world surface level relationships with conversations never getting deeper than the current sports affairs or political drama. No! We need brothers who aren’t afraid to cry with us and tell it like it is. If we don’t be that example, we certainly can’t expect to get it back. God be praised for this great book!
I started reading this book because I wanted to explore another Godly man’s perspective on what it means to be a man and how to be that man in a culture that is hopelessly confused and downright deceptive on the subject. If you are expecting to read a book written by a lonely thinker or a mere theologian who lacks the practical experience to back up his claims, you will not find that here.
The author of this book is open about his shortcomings and successes while being an Army Ranger, Football Coach, Pastor, Husband, Father, Leader, and friend. Many of his stories are gripping and serve as powerful metaphors for the message he is preaching through these pages.
I was shocked at how well Stu Weber so passionately stressed the need for men to be both tender and warrior-like at heart! In fact, its almost incredible how this book inspires me to lock arms with men in gritty battle while simultaneously moves me to open up to others more about my deep feelings and thoughts on things, as us men should. Men don’t need friends, no, we don’t need the shallow first-world surface level relationships with conversations never getting deeper than the current sports affairs or political drama. No! We need brothers who aren’t afraid to cry with us and tell it like it is. If we don’t be that example, we certainly can’t expect to get it back. God be praised for this great book!
June 22, 2021
This is a book every man must read! The back of the book reads, “The definition of manhood itself is obscured by a culture in moral free fall. This book cuts through the fog and defines a powerful blueprint for being the-the Tender Warrior-that God desires for you and your family.”
Stu Weber goes into great detail of what a man should be like. How he should look, how he should act, what his purpose in life and in the family is-all from a biblical perspective.
Not to spoil the whole book but I’d like to share one of its most convicting points. Early on you read about the “Four Pillars” that are the functions of a man. What are these “Four Pillars” or functions of a man? 1. King, 2. Warrior, 3. Mentor, 4. Friend.
1. King: The function of a king is to provide. He leads and watches over everything under his authority.
2. Warrior: The function of a warrior is to protect. He shields and stands between those whom he cares for.
3. Mentor: The function of a mentor is to teach. He disciples his wife and children, then others.
4. Friend: The function of a friend is to love. He cares, has compassion for, and keeps commitments to his family and friends.
There is so much to be learned about what it means to not just be a male but to be a man-to be a godly man, a godly husband, a godly father, and a godly friend. Give it a read! You won’t be disappointed.
Stu Weber goes into great detail of what a man should be like. How he should look, how he should act, what his purpose in life and in the family is-all from a biblical perspective.
Not to spoil the whole book but I’d like to share one of its most convicting points. Early on you read about the “Four Pillars” that are the functions of a man. What are these “Four Pillars” or functions of a man? 1. King, 2. Warrior, 3. Mentor, 4. Friend.
1. King: The function of a king is to provide. He leads and watches over everything under his authority.
2. Warrior: The function of a warrior is to protect. He shields and stands between those whom he cares for.
3. Mentor: The function of a mentor is to teach. He disciples his wife and children, then others.
4. Friend: The function of a friend is to love. He cares, has compassion for, and keeps commitments to his family and friends.
There is so much to be learned about what it means to not just be a male but to be a man-to be a godly man, a godly husband, a godly father, and a godly friend. Give it a read! You won’t be disappointed.
June 3, 2013
I had high hopes for this book...to use it as a read for a men's study group...and it has discussion questions at the end of the chapter...BUT...too fundamentalist in its approach. It elevates archetype and makes it seem a pre-ordained way God created man, then woman as a second rate citizen, from the rib of a man, as the helpmate for her "king." Putting down the role of women in ministry may have been expected in the Old Testament but Jesus in the NT empowered women for ministry, would not recommend this book.
September 6, 2009
Very hard t get through. Started reading it 3 times before I forced myself to finish it. Very repetitive and cliche.
March 16, 2024
Top shelf book for how to live well as a Christian man. Glad I read this one and can’t wait read it again and to pass it along to my son someday. A keeper for sure.
March 14, 2026
Good book. Gold nuggets hidden in every chapter. A bit long of a read for what it wants to say.
March 23, 2026
Book review of Tender Warrior by Stu Weber
Tender Warrior: Every Man’s Purpose, Every Woman’s Dream, Every Child’s Hope by Stu Weber is a classic exploration of balanced, purposeful masculinity rooted in biblical principles. First published in 1993 and revised in later editions, the book cuts through cultural confusion about manhood to offer a timeless framework for what it means to be strong and compassionate...
Weber is a former U.S. Army Green Beret and long-time pastor. He reframes masculinity as a blend of courage and care: a warrior who protects and leads, yet is tender in relationships with his wife, children, friends, and community. Throughout its chapters, he lays out practical characteristics of a “tender warrior”, from vigilance and staying power to empathy and understanding, grounded in vivid storytelling and scriptural insight.
What makes this book a unique contribution is its balanced vision (rejecting both hardened stereotypes of aggression and cultural narratives that dismiss strength) towards a model of manhood that’s purposeful, relational, and transformative. Instead of abstract theory, Weber provides relatable guidance on real-world leadership, emotional maturity, commitment, and legacy.
Why read it, and who would most benefit?
🔹 For men seeking clarity about identity and purpose
🔹 For leaders wanting to integrate strength with empathy
🔹 For anyone interested in character, family, and community impact
During a time when definitions of manhood can feel fragmented and harshly judgmental, Tender Warrior offers a renewing compass: practical, reflective, and rooted in enduring principles. It’s particularly valuable for those wrestling with leadership, fatherhood, and meaningful relationships; and anyone committed to intentional personal growth.
Overall assessment: This is a thoughtful, encouraging read that challenges and equips; not by prescribing toughness alone, but by showing how strength without tenderness is incomplete. Highly recommended for leaders, fathers, mentors, and men at any stage of life...
Tender Warrior: Every Man’s Purpose, Every Woman’s Dream, Every Child’s Hope by Stu Weber is a classic exploration of balanced, purposeful masculinity rooted in biblical principles. First published in 1993 and revised in later editions, the book cuts through cultural confusion about manhood to offer a timeless framework for what it means to be strong and compassionate...
Weber is a former U.S. Army Green Beret and long-time pastor. He reframes masculinity as a blend of courage and care: a warrior who protects and leads, yet is tender in relationships with his wife, children, friends, and community. Throughout its chapters, he lays out practical characteristics of a “tender warrior”, from vigilance and staying power to empathy and understanding, grounded in vivid storytelling and scriptural insight.
What makes this book a unique contribution is its balanced vision (rejecting both hardened stereotypes of aggression and cultural narratives that dismiss strength) towards a model of manhood that’s purposeful, relational, and transformative. Instead of abstract theory, Weber provides relatable guidance on real-world leadership, emotional maturity, commitment, and legacy.
Why read it, and who would most benefit?
🔹 For men seeking clarity about identity and purpose
🔹 For leaders wanting to integrate strength with empathy
🔹 For anyone interested in character, family, and community impact
During a time when definitions of manhood can feel fragmented and harshly judgmental, Tender Warrior offers a renewing compass: practical, reflective, and rooted in enduring principles. It’s particularly valuable for those wrestling with leadership, fatherhood, and meaningful relationships; and anyone committed to intentional personal growth.
Overall assessment: This is a thoughtful, encouraging read that challenges and equips; not by prescribing toughness alone, but by showing how strength without tenderness is incomplete. Highly recommended for leaders, fathers, mentors, and men at any stage of life...
November 25, 2021
I wanted to like this book, but the author's style was just off-putting for me, and the concepts covered were so very basic. Weber has a very folksy, "aw shucks" way of writing that got old after just a few chapters. Even worse, he has an incredibly bad habit of CONSTANTLY using short, often incomplete sentences strung together to add emphasis. Here's a small sample just from one page (142): "Present or absent. Positive or negative...Superman in disguise...Esteem. Principles. Identity. And anchor points."
Not convinced? Flip to page 160 and read this paragraph:
"So start your own heritage. From this generation forward. Change the course of the river. Change the trends. Change your world. It can be done. Be a man. Stand firm in the faith. Act in love."
He ends that same page with this word salad: "Take that approach. Climb a tree. Dream a future. Draw a plan. Enjoy. Here are a few tips."
Weber named an editor in his acknowledgments, but this book desperately needed better editing. Occasionally using these kinds of sentences CAN be an effective way of adding emphasis and focusing the reader's mind, but Weber quite simply overused it. It honestly made me wonder if this is how he speaks.
As I said, I wanted to like this book, and none of the concepts or principles were particularly objectionable or wrongheaded, but it all just seemed so basic. Perhaps I would have thought better of the book if I could have gotten past the author's writing style.
Not convinced? Flip to page 160 and read this paragraph:
"So start your own heritage. From this generation forward. Change the course of the river. Change the trends. Change your world. It can be done. Be a man. Stand firm in the faith. Act in love."
He ends that same page with this word salad: "Take that approach. Climb a tree. Dream a future. Draw a plan. Enjoy. Here are a few tips."
Weber named an editor in his acknowledgments, but this book desperately needed better editing. Occasionally using these kinds of sentences CAN be an effective way of adding emphasis and focusing the reader's mind, but Weber quite simply overused it. It honestly made me wonder if this is how he speaks.
As I said, I wanted to like this book, and none of the concepts or principles were particularly objectionable or wrongheaded, but it all just seemed so basic. Perhaps I would have thought better of the book if I could have gotten past the author's writing style.
November 8, 2019
I'm a Malaysian. To be honest, it's tough being a man especially in a culture that isn't sure what manhood means. In 2013, a research* have been published by BioMed Central Ltd. about the perception of masculinity in Malaysia by interviewing 34 young Malaysian university men (aged 20–30 years) shows that their ideas of manhood are: "having a good body shape"; "being respected"; "having success with women"; "being a family man"; and "having financial independence."
Read those concepts or meanings that they gave again, is that true manhood? No doubt, the meanings (or perceptions of) manhood are subjective but by biblical standards, these ideas are far from the truth. "Manliness – real, God-made, down-in-the-bedrock masculinity – is something men in our culture are scrambling to understand. Tough? Tender? Strong? Sensitive? Fierce? Friendly? Which is it? We're frustrated. Often confused. Sometimes irritable…"
This book asks: What is God's intention for a man? Not society, not religious, not culture. To read my review of Stu Weber's Tender Warrior: God's Intention For a Man (1993), CLICK HERE: https://www.richardangelus.me/2018/07...
Read those concepts or meanings that they gave again, is that true manhood? No doubt, the meanings (or perceptions of) manhood are subjective but by biblical standards, these ideas are far from the truth. "Manliness – real, God-made, down-in-the-bedrock masculinity – is something men in our culture are scrambling to understand. Tough? Tender? Strong? Sensitive? Fierce? Friendly? Which is it? We're frustrated. Often confused. Sometimes irritable…"
This book asks: What is God's intention for a man? Not society, not religious, not culture. To read my review of Stu Weber's Tender Warrior: God's Intention For a Man (1993), CLICK HERE: https://www.richardangelus.me/2018/07...
Read
September 2, 2023Some might consider "tender warrior" to be an oxymoron. As a green beret, Stu Weber was certainly a warrior. Yet, as intelligent as he was, he had to learn to be tender. In his book, Tender Warrior, Weber identifies numerous errant male stereotypes and misconceptions; addressing the true definition of provision and the deadly philosophy of second chances in life; to name just two. He deals with the issues of being a man; especially in a changing culture that isn’t sure what manhood means. He addresses a variety of male roles; some of which appear to be contradictory or conflicting.
Then Weber takes us back to the only workable blueprint for true, balanced manhood; God's Word. He addresses the measure of a man through the spiritual and emotional health of his family, his vision and leadership related to that family. He discusses God's view of balanced manhood through four roles; as king, warrior, mentor, and friend. This book is a great read for those who want to focus on the most important, unchanging roles of God's tender warrior.
Then Weber takes us back to the only workable blueprint for true, balanced manhood; God's Word. He addresses the measure of a man through the spiritual and emotional health of his family, his vision and leadership related to that family. He discusses God's view of balanced manhood through four roles; as king, warrior, mentor, and friend. This book is a great read for those who want to focus on the most important, unchanging roles of God's tender warrior.
October 6, 2024
This is a book about the heart of manhood. The stories, principles and most of all the truth in it, with God's grace can set your masculinity free, to be the man God created you to be. A king, a warrior, a mentor and a friend. Where do you go to find real manhood?
What is every man's purpose?
What is every woman's dream?
What is every childs hope?
That's what this book is about. And the answer to that questions lies in the heart of every line in it.
The former US intelligence officer in the Vietnam war and the shepherd of the "Good Shepherd" church poured his masculine heart writing this book for us.
A man and his wife, a man and his children, a man and his friends a man finishes his course and, a man and his God.
We will never be tender warriors until we sit at the feet of the Ultimate tender warrior, Jesus Christ.
I highly recommend this book to every man who knows and feels deep inside his heart that he was made for more than just living to hold a job or live at an address. But to be visionary and be a part of God's great intentions for humanity and the world.
What is every man's purpose?
What is every woman's dream?
What is every childs hope?
That's what this book is about. And the answer to that questions lies in the heart of every line in it.
The former US intelligence officer in the Vietnam war and the shepherd of the "Good Shepherd" church poured his masculine heart writing this book for us.
A man and his wife, a man and his children, a man and his friends a man finishes his course and, a man and his God.
We will never be tender warriors until we sit at the feet of the Ultimate tender warrior, Jesus Christ.
I highly recommend this book to every man who knows and feels deep inside his heart that he was made for more than just living to hold a job or live at an address. But to be visionary and be a part of God's great intentions for humanity and the world.
August 25, 2025
This book may be good for young men or men who are getting married soon, but it should be a “beginner” book, NOT the only book a person reads on this topic.
It seems like the question of “What is a man?” can’t just be answered one way. I think the answer to that question is somewhat subjective or relative. Maybe I’m wrong on that. I get it that we need guidance, but I get tired of hearing “this is what you should be/look like.”
As I was reading this book, I got the sense that the author was looking back at men he admired and then writing his opinion about what men should be. I’m grateful that we aren’t required to agree with everything we read.
In short, this book isn’t what I feel like I need. I think there are better books out there on this topic. It’s also possible that I’m reacting to this book in light of my own difficulties with measuring up, etc.
It seems like the question of “What is a man?” can’t just be answered one way. I think the answer to that question is somewhat subjective or relative. Maybe I’m wrong on that. I get it that we need guidance, but I get tired of hearing “this is what you should be/look like.”
As I was reading this book, I got the sense that the author was looking back at men he admired and then writing his opinion about what men should be. I’m grateful that we aren’t required to agree with everything we read.
In short, this book isn’t what I feel like I need. I think there are better books out there on this topic. It’s also possible that I’m reacting to this book in light of my own difficulties with measuring up, etc.
March 22, 2020
A profound exploration of what it means to be a man; a book of great value to our current culture.
Stu Weber, a warrior in the US Army during his young manhood and a long-time spiritual warrior as a pastor in Oregon describes manhood as the right mix of tough and tender. Having explored the definitions, he then applies that to a man’s key relationships: his lady, his children and his friends, before two challenging chapters on finishing well. All of these are supported by rich storytelling both from the Bible and his own life.
In a society crippled by absent or departed fathers, undermined by disdain for manhood, and full of young men who have never seen real manhood modeled, this is an incredibly helpful look at this most important subject.
Stu Weber, a warrior in the US Army during his young manhood and a long-time spiritual warrior as a pastor in Oregon describes manhood as the right mix of tough and tender. Having explored the definitions, he then applies that to a man’s key relationships: his lady, his children and his friends, before two challenging chapters on finishing well. All of these are supported by rich storytelling both from the Bible and his own life.
In a society crippled by absent or departed fathers, undermined by disdain for manhood, and full of young men who have never seen real manhood modeled, this is an incredibly helpful look at this most important subject.
February 3, 2019
Whenever a pastor tries to write a “manhood” book, so many times it misses the mark in incredible ways. Stu Weber also missed the marks at times but what I absolutely loved, that I haven’t seen in other books like this, is his heavy use of the scriptures. And not out of context snippet verses, but stories and chapters and raw un-edited scripture about men in the Bible, specifically Jesus who is the sole man we should strive to imitate. Great great book!
July 8, 2019
Inspiring!
Stu cuts through the fluff and gets right to the point. His stories connect sound Biblical teaching to practical walk-it-out directions for men. Every man should read this book for himself, and then read it again with a group of guys. The questions and exercises at the end of each chapter will stretch you and strengthen the bonds you have with those in your group. Seriously. Don’t wonder what to read next. Pick this book up, read it, and follow Stu’s advice!
Stu cuts through the fluff and gets right to the point. His stories connect sound Biblical teaching to practical walk-it-out directions for men. Every man should read this book for himself, and then read it again with a group of guys. The questions and exercises at the end of each chapter will stretch you and strengthen the bonds you have with those in your group. Seriously. Don’t wonder what to read next. Pick this book up, read it, and follow Stu’s advice!
December 30, 2024
I’ve reread this book several times. Once in high school. Once in early marriage, now with my two teenage sons.
It’s is an excellent primer on what is means for a young man to grow up and become an independent man in the world.
I would highly recommend it to any man who wants to know what true masculine calling is. I would also recommend it to any wife/mother who wants to help her husband or son grow.
It’s is an excellent primer on what is means for a young man to grow up and become an independent man in the world.
I would highly recommend it to any man who wants to know what true masculine calling is. I would also recommend it to any wife/mother who wants to help her husband or son grow.
Read
June 21, 2026I highly recommend for any man looking to understand what role God has called him to. I was given this by a church mentor and couldn’t have asked for a better gift and given since given a copy to a friend. Commentary on each of a man’s roles/relationships are included with plenty of biblical references and personal stories included. Mr. Weber’s words are life-giving, convicting, and will help any man life up to his calling.
May 15, 2017
An excellent book - in my opinion better than Patrick Morley's "The Man in the Mirror" What is a real man? Looks at Scripture - a real man is a king, warrior, friend. They are to protect (hence boys will play with guns), lead, prepare children for adulthood (be ready to let them go), need for friendship with fellowmen.
April 18, 2019
Stu Weber is what anyone would call a real man's man! A Veteran Army Ranger of the Vietnam War and pastor of a church, he knows what it takes to be a man, and he challenges all men who would read this. It is supremely necessary in the 21st century, but it will be applicable for generations to come. He bases the characteristics of being a man on Jesus Christ, with biblical support.
April 14, 2021
Mixed
Good portrayal of men and their need to provide vision, lead, and protect. i feel like i have a better idea of how to work and live as a man. But i was very disappointed in his portrayal of women. It felt shallow, stereotypical, and at times sexist. There are many types of men and women, and you don't need to follow traditional gender roles to be a Christian.
Good portrayal of men and their need to provide vision, lead, and protect. i feel like i have a better idea of how to work and live as a man. But i was very disappointed in his portrayal of women. It felt shallow, stereotypical, and at times sexist. There are many types of men and women, and you don't need to follow traditional gender roles to be a Christian.
July 19, 2017
Worth the Read!
Great book for any man wanting to find out how to live out their God-given purpose. This book shows how the elements of King, Warrior, Mentor, and Friend are pivotal in that purpose.
Great book for any man wanting to find out how to live out their God-given purpose. This book shows how the elements of King, Warrior, Mentor, and Friend are pivotal in that purpose.
June 6, 2018
This book is a good opportunity to take a step back and look at what it means to be "a man of God." Whether you are married, dating, single, or somewhere between the helps examine the heart of manhood.
November 27, 2018
Heavy emphasis on Christian religious values backed by biblical principles. Still a great read for any modern man questioning his aim in society and life. If one can suspend judgment of the religious undertones, there are solid principles.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 100 reviews