what the actual fuck?
whoever fucking said this book sheds light on an important topic, grooming and the power imbalance in a relationship with an age gap between a student and teacher, must have read a different fucking book.
i don’t even know how to put my rage into words here. i wish i never fucking read this steaming pile of garbage.
let’s start with the aforementioned important topic. there is literally one paragraph that gets to the truth about the topic.
“what i mean is, sometimes, when we’re young we can feel like we’re making a choice, when actually we’re not. we don’t have all the facts, or all the perspective. if there’s someone else who knows a bit more than we do, or has authority over us, sometimes they can take advantage of that knowledge, or that power.”
the rest of the book? blames bonnie, shames bonnie, gets mad at bonnie, dismisses bonnie. bonnie is treated, throughout the entire book, by nearly every character, as a good girl who is simply acting out and hurting the people who love her. characters act as if she just made a bad decision. grooming is brought up once or twice, but no one seems to really understand what that means. it is never truly discussed that bonnie is the victim in the situation, that her teacher saw that she was vulnerable and manipulated and groomed her, and then abducted her, while raping her. yes, rape. she is fifteen and he is twenty-nine. not only is there the legality of it, but also the power imbalance, and the fact that he targeted her. none of this is ever really driven home.
given the reviews i read that praised this book for how it tackled this topic, i was expecting to mark so many quotes while reading that delve into grooming, power imbalances, statutory rape, the glamorization of age gaps and student/teacher relationships. but...that one quote was all i got. there is no much needed hard hitting dialogue in this book. at all. if that’s why you want to read this book, like me, take a hard pass.
next up is the fact that eden is the worst fucking character ever. she is so naive and selfish and rude and just such a fucking brat. she literally has no redeeming qualities whatsoever. it was awful being in her head. not only did she know where bonnie was the entire time and lied to everyone about it, but she also had the nerve to blame others for bonnie’s situation and get mad when people were suspicious of her. she cares more about keeping bonnie’s secret because ~besties! and getting in trouble for keeping bonnie’s secret than the fact that her best friend is being taken advantage of by a grown ass man.
eden teases her boyfriend about not being “manly” because he wants to cuddle with her, refers to guys being gross misogynists as “guys being guys,” and calls the stories from other girls the teacher was inappropriate with “bullshit.” eden literally says “she wasn’t abusive or anything, but we were pretty much neglected for most of the time we lived with her” about her biological mother. if you need more proof of just how out of fucking touch with reality this chick is. neglect is abuse. you don’t have to lay a hand on someone to abuse them.
eden guilt trips bonnie in her thoughts by saying that everything she’s lost was taken from her while bonnie is choosing to throw everything away. because being groomed and taken advantage of and manipulated is totally a choice!!!! what a great friend!!!! eden thinks it isn’t fair for bonnie to be “rewarded” with a “great love story” for “messing up everyone’s lives” because hey, nothing says “great love story” better than abuse, amiright? and how nice of her to make bonnie’s abuse into a pesky inconvenience for her. eden talks about resenting bonnie for being “the darling on the front pages” because it isn’t fair that she did something “so stupid” and everyone is still on her side. because being groomed, manipulated, raped, and abducted is a fucked decision she chose to make that should have everyone hating her. what a classy gal this eden is.
eden treats valerie like absolute shit for no fucking reason and then uses her knowing that valerie would jump at the chance to bond with her. eden literally acknowledges that she’s emotionally manipulating valerie and she just does not fucking care. and the kicker? eden has the nerve to get mad at valerie for seeing her deception and taking the necessary precautions without telling her. she actually claims valerie betrayed her. i just fucking can’t.
eden chose not to ask bonnie anything about her secret boyfriend because she assumed she wouldn’t tell her and she didn’t want to give her the satisfaction, but then had the nerve to be mad that bonnie didn’t tell her. eden also chose not to ask connor about his mom’s condition or his role as her caretaker because she assumed he wouldn’t want to talk about it, but then had the nerve to be all “why is he getting defensive about me not knowing anything, it’s not like he ever talks about it so it’s not my fault.”
probably the most ridiculous thing related to eden is the fact that she points out how when people talk about bonnie being “good” they don’t mean she goes to church, they mean she’s white and middle class. like...y’all really expect me to believe a child this naive and out of fucking touch with reality understands the intricacies of racism and classism? please. that and the fact that eden describes herself as a wild spirit. eden is the most boring naive childish character ever. in no way whatsoever is she wild. she’s just a fucking brat.
eden says she’s a gryffindor, which explains so much about my hatred for her.
another thing is that everyone goes on about how healthy a relationship connor and eden have but i just don’t see it. he’s a fucking pushover. whenever he starts to question eden, she gets mad and he apologizes and drops it. he doesn’t even really push her on the fact that it’s so fucking horrible that she’s lying to everyone about not knowing where bonnie is. and there’s a moment when eden touches a nerve and upsets him and she notes that he looks like he wants an apology, but that she isn’t the type to apologize when she doesn’t mean it. so, what a great healthy relationship, she hurts him and doesn’t feel like apologizing is something she should do. despite the fact that connor is constantly apologizing to her if he so much as thinks he might have upset her.
and there’s also the weirdness about family. i mean, what’s with eden always adding “adoptive” before sister/mom/dad? she can just say sister/mom/dad. and she calls her parents by their first names, which isn’t that big of a deal, but given the emphasis on the fact that she was adopted, it kind of feels like there’s a disconnect, like her family isn’t really her family because they aren’t related by blood. she refers to her biological mom as her “real mom” more than once, which makes me think there really is an “adoptive family isn’t real family” disconnect. and that that’s why when she talked about her sister daisy, she didn’t preface it with “adoptive,” because daisy is related to her by blood and to her “sister” means “real blood sister” on its own. and furthering the disconnect is her father calling himself her “father figure.” since when do adoptive parents refer to themselves as parental figures as opposed to just parents? eden mentions later how blood doesn’t always mean family, yet she still refer to her abusive (yes, neglect is abuse) mother as her real mom and the man she never even met as her dad, and the people who actually take care of and love her and chose her by their first names and can’t even call them mom or dad without “adoptive” prefacing it.
my two positive notes are that valerie listens to christine and the queens and calls eden on never letting her in or bothering to get to know her, yet acting like she knows everything about her and judging and looking down on her for the shit she makes up in her head: “you can’t be so distant from me, and act like you don’t have any interest in who i am or what my life is, and instead judge me on whatever it is you’re making up in your own head. maybe you don’t see people as well as you think you do, maybe you should stop thinking your impression is the right one, just because it’s yours.”
there is a little rep; connor and eded are dyslexic, eden’s sister daisy has adhd and dyscalculia, and connor’s mom has rheumatoid arthritis and he is her caretaker. and i think i remember eden saying her biological father is brazilian?
anyways, super disappointed and angered by this book, which surprises me because i absolutely loved one of sara’s other books. but there’s just too many important aspects of this topic missing and too many problematic takes go unchallenged.