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Like a Mother: A Feminist Journey Through the Science and Culture of Pregnancy
A candid, feminist, and personal deep dive into the science and culture of pregnancy and motherhood Like most first-time mothers, Angela Garbes was filled with questions when she became pregnant. What exactly is a placenta and how does it function? How does a body go into labor? Why is breast best? Is wine totally off-limits? But as she soon discovered, it’s not easy to find satisfying answers. Your obstetrician will cautiously quote statistics; online sources will scare you with conflicting and often inaccurate data; and even the most trusted books will offer information with a heavy dose of judgment. To educate herself, the food and culture writer embarked on an intensive journey of exploration, diving into the scientific mysteries and cultural attitudes that surround motherhood to find answers to questions that had only previously been given in the form of advice about what women ought to do—rather than allowing them the freedom to choose the right path for themselves.
In Like a Mother , Garbes offers a rigorously researched and compelling look at the physiology, biology, and psychology of pregnancy and motherhood, informed by in-depth reportage and personal experience. With the curiosity of a journalist, the perspective of a feminist, and the intimacy and urgency of a mother, she explores the emerging science behind the pressing questions women have about everything from miscarriage to complicated labors to postpartum changes. The result is a visceral, full-frontal look at what’s really happening during those nine life-altering months, and why women deserve access to better care, support, and information.
Infused with humor and born out of awe, appreciation, and understanding of the female body and its strength, Like a Mother debunks common myths and dated assumptions, offering guidance and camaraderie to women navigating one of the biggest and most profound changes in their lives.
In Like a Mother , Garbes offers a rigorously researched and compelling look at the physiology, biology, and psychology of pregnancy and motherhood, informed by in-depth reportage and personal experience. With the curiosity of a journalist, the perspective of a feminist, and the intimacy and urgency of a mother, she explores the emerging science behind the pressing questions women have about everything from miscarriage to complicated labors to postpartum changes. The result is a visceral, full-frontal look at what’s really happening during those nine life-altering months, and why women deserve access to better care, support, and information.
Infused with humor and born out of awe, appreciation, and understanding of the female body and its strength, Like a Mother debunks common myths and dated assumptions, offering guidance and camaraderie to women navigating one of the biggest and most profound changes in their lives.
256 pages, Paperback
First published May 29, 2018
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 1,209 reviews
July 23, 2018
UPDATE: For those who want more info on breastfeeding - and why pushing new moms to nurse is misguided - check out this article on the Daily Beast: https://www.thedailybeast.com/the-bre...
As a new mother and feminist killjoy, I was so excited to read this book. Everything about its premise perfectly encapsulated where my mommy brain now resides. There were so many wonderful parts of this book. The chapter about the placenta was utterly fascinating and contained a level of knowledge that I wish I had possessed while pregnant. And then came the chapter on breastfeeding.
As a new mother and feminist killjoy, I was so excited to read this book. Everything about its premise perfectly encapsulated where my mommy brain now resides. There were so many wonderful parts of this book. The chapter about the placenta was utterly fascinating and contained a level of knowledge that I wish I had possessed while pregnant. And then came the chapter on breastfeeding.
I knew that it was coming, but I had certain expectations that left me so wanting that I never finished the book. The author goes on for pages about the benefits of breastfeeding - facts that are consistently shoved down the throats of every pregnant woman and new mom. WE GET IT. Her mentions of women who decide not to nurse are very few and far between, and come almost as an afterthought.
When my daughter was born I desperately wanted to breastfeed, and when she latched perfectly the first time it was incredible. We were so in sync - even the nurses commented on it.
Once I got home, however, the stress of being a new mom, recovering from 31 hours of labor followed by an emergency c-section, and a five day hospital stay due to high blood pressure and an infection left me beyond exhausted. Keeping up with feedings every two hours was impossible in my condition, and when my milk supply decided it couldn't keep up with my daughter's growing appetite I felt like an utter failure. The mental toll this took on me can't be overstated. I struggled and struggled with the decision to switch to formula feeding 100%. I felt like the worst kind of selfish mother, but once I made the decision everything became so much easier - for me AND my daughter.
Feminism is about supporting women no matter what choices they decide to make. How we want to live our lives - especially the decisions we make as mothers - isn't up to anyone else. It's between us and our souls/god/whatever. And while I applaud the author for taking on such a hefty subject, she did a grave disservice by not wholly honoring new mothers regardless of their decision to breastfeed or bottle feed.
December 28, 2019
As an OBGYN physician, I’m always looking to read what my patients are reading. A patient recommended this a few months ago and I was excited to read it.
In the book's introduction, the author writes, “This book is not meant to be a traditional pregnancy guidebook with advice on what or how to do things,” but after reading it, I'm still unsure of what it is truly meant to be. It's not quite a memoir, but also not a feminist guide either.
Despite the stream-of-consciousness style, I really enjoyed Garbes' honest presentation of her experiences of pregnancy, birth and early motherhood. She accurately pointed out the weaknesses of many pregnancy "guidebooks" and how they more often than not infantalize women. As if pregnant women (or pregnant people, no matter their gender identity) are automatically more "moral" than the average person. Most pregnant women, while they care for their growing baby immensely, are also partners, mothers, workers and members of their community at the same time. I, too, get incredibly frustrated almost daily by the lack of scientific evidence we have on the safety of many medications in pregnancy, including many meds for colds, migraines, and other miserable conditions. I am also especially frustrated by the cultural perception that NO medications are safe in pregnancy and that women must thus suffer from chronic pain, nausea, depression, anxiety and other life-altering conditions while they are pregnant. I love that she touched on the autonomy and agency of pregnant people and how they deserve to be educated about the risks and benefits of a variety of "lifestyle" decisions so they can make informed decisions for themselves. This was very refreshing. I also enjoyed her descriptions of the human placenta. It has been fun to have more patients and families interested in seeing and learning about their amazing placentas.
The writing, however, was not the most impressive. I know Garbes is a food writer, but the book in general would have greatly benefitted from editing from a scientific writer and an OBGYN or other physician. The phrases "intrauterine ultrasound" (not a thing... she must mean transvaginal ultrasound) and "IV port" (a port is what chemotherapy patients receive, not women in labor) and "husband stitch" (I've literally never heard of vaginal repairs talked about like this. Maybe this was a more common colloquial term when routine episiotomies were en vogue?) were misleading, frustrating and, at times, just plain incorrect. I was also frustrated by the phrase "dying in childbirth". I think she is referring to "Maternal mortality", which is defined as death of a woman during pregnancy, birth or the 42 days postpartum (some definitions include up to a year postpartum). While deaths "in childbirth" do indeed happen, even in the United States and other high-resource countries, the vast majority of maternal deaths occur postpartum. Most common causes in the US are infection, hemorrhage, cardiovascular conditions, hypertensive disorders. Defining these as "dying during childbirth" is misleading and could cause women to not seek care. Women need MORE care postpartum, not less. Lastly, while she cited many notable scientific studies on different issues, there were many claims and broad-sweeping generalizations that she made that had no citation whatsoever. She cited the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists (ACOG) incorrectly as "Congress", which is a humiliating error in an American book that claims to be about the "science of birth". She cited articles from sources such as the Mother Jones blog and Self magazine without citing the primary sources for her claims, which is a basic investigative and scientific writing skill.
I really appreciate how she highlighted the lack of comprehensive care for women postpartum. For too long, we have relied on the "6 week visit" as the sole visit after a woman gives birth, while newborns have several visits in that same time period. Thankfully ACOG has also recognized this. There is an excellent 2018 ACOG committee opinion "Optimizing Postpartum Care" that discusses this issue as well as potential solutions.
I also appreciated how she went after the "natural" childbirth label, "a baby born of its mother's body is natural, whether it's pushed through her vagina or pulled out of her uterus. cesarean sections can be lifesaving for both mother and child.... labelling unmedicated vaginal birth as "natural" creates a false binary." and "medical interventions --inductions, c-sections, vacuum extractions --grew from the desire and necessity to preserve the health and lives of mothers and their babies. one hundred years ago , a "natural" childbirth could very well have meant injury, sickness or death for me or my baby" YES!!! While having an unmedicated vaginal delivery (if that is a woman's choice) can be very empowering, the idea that this is the "best" or "only" way to bring a baby into the world in a loving way is psychologically abusive to women. Women can end up with postpartum depression and anxiety due to this nonsense. Additionally, it adds to this cultural idea that women are defined by our bodies and what our bodies do rather than our minds, souls and actions. She quoted Penny Simkin (whose book "When Survivors Give Birth" is incredible), "it's not how you give birth. It's how you're cared for that really matters".
All in all, this book is very valuable. It is not at all a feminist guide as it contains no feminist theory or discussions of feminist perspectives on particular issues. However, it is an approachable and refreshing memoir with a scientific and cultural-critique spin. I would recommend this book with the limitations I have discussed above.
In the book's introduction, the author writes, “This book is not meant to be a traditional pregnancy guidebook with advice on what or how to do things,” but after reading it, I'm still unsure of what it is truly meant to be. It's not quite a memoir, but also not a feminist guide either.
Despite the stream-of-consciousness style, I really enjoyed Garbes' honest presentation of her experiences of pregnancy, birth and early motherhood. She accurately pointed out the weaknesses of many pregnancy "guidebooks" and how they more often than not infantalize women. As if pregnant women (or pregnant people, no matter their gender identity) are automatically more "moral" than the average person. Most pregnant women, while they care for their growing baby immensely, are also partners, mothers, workers and members of their community at the same time. I, too, get incredibly frustrated almost daily by the lack of scientific evidence we have on the safety of many medications in pregnancy, including many meds for colds, migraines, and other miserable conditions. I am also especially frustrated by the cultural perception that NO medications are safe in pregnancy and that women must thus suffer from chronic pain, nausea, depression, anxiety and other life-altering conditions while they are pregnant. I love that she touched on the autonomy and agency of pregnant people and how they deserve to be educated about the risks and benefits of a variety of "lifestyle" decisions so they can make informed decisions for themselves. This was very refreshing. I also enjoyed her descriptions of the human placenta. It has been fun to have more patients and families interested in seeing and learning about their amazing placentas.
The writing, however, was not the most impressive. I know Garbes is a food writer, but the book in general would have greatly benefitted from editing from a scientific writer and an OBGYN or other physician. The phrases "intrauterine ultrasound" (not a thing... she must mean transvaginal ultrasound) and "IV port" (a port is what chemotherapy patients receive, not women in labor) and "husband stitch" (I've literally never heard of vaginal repairs talked about like this. Maybe this was a more common colloquial term when routine episiotomies were en vogue?) were misleading, frustrating and, at times, just plain incorrect. I was also frustrated by the phrase "dying in childbirth". I think she is referring to "Maternal mortality", which is defined as death of a woman during pregnancy, birth or the 42 days postpartum (some definitions include up to a year postpartum). While deaths "in childbirth" do indeed happen, even in the United States and other high-resource countries, the vast majority of maternal deaths occur postpartum. Most common causes in the US are infection, hemorrhage, cardiovascular conditions, hypertensive disorders. Defining these as "dying during childbirth" is misleading and could cause women to not seek care. Women need MORE care postpartum, not less. Lastly, while she cited many notable scientific studies on different issues, there were many claims and broad-sweeping generalizations that she made that had no citation whatsoever. She cited the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists (ACOG) incorrectly as "Congress", which is a humiliating error in an American book that claims to be about the "science of birth". She cited articles from sources such as the Mother Jones blog and Self magazine without citing the primary sources for her claims, which is a basic investigative and scientific writing skill.
I really appreciate how she highlighted the lack of comprehensive care for women postpartum. For too long, we have relied on the "6 week visit" as the sole visit after a woman gives birth, while newborns have several visits in that same time period. Thankfully ACOG has also recognized this. There is an excellent 2018 ACOG committee opinion "Optimizing Postpartum Care" that discusses this issue as well as potential solutions.
I also appreciated how she went after the "natural" childbirth label, "a baby born of its mother's body is natural, whether it's pushed through her vagina or pulled out of her uterus. cesarean sections can be lifesaving for both mother and child.... labelling unmedicated vaginal birth as "natural" creates a false binary." and "medical interventions --inductions, c-sections, vacuum extractions --grew from the desire and necessity to preserve the health and lives of mothers and their babies. one hundred years ago , a "natural" childbirth could very well have meant injury, sickness or death for me or my baby" YES!!! While having an unmedicated vaginal delivery (if that is a woman's choice) can be very empowering, the idea that this is the "best" or "only" way to bring a baby into the world in a loving way is psychologically abusive to women. Women can end up with postpartum depression and anxiety due to this nonsense. Additionally, it adds to this cultural idea that women are defined by our bodies and what our bodies do rather than our minds, souls and actions. She quoted Penny Simkin (whose book "When Survivors Give Birth" is incredible), "it's not how you give birth. It's how you're cared for that really matters".
All in all, this book is very valuable. It is not at all a feminist guide as it contains no feminist theory or discussions of feminist perspectives on particular issues. However, it is an approachable and refreshing memoir with a scientific and cultural-critique spin. I would recommend this book with the limitations I have discussed above.
April 10, 2018
This. Is. Excellent. I say that as a mother, as a maternal-child health MPH, and as a woman. This tells it like it is, with the science and research and sociology to back it up. I laughed, i underlined, I wrote in the margins. I only wish I’d had this when I was pregnant. She writes about that dreaded postpartum poop with a candor that I loved. This should be mandatory reading for pregnant people. And anyone who loves them and cares for them.
June 27, 2018
There's a pretty good consensus nowadays that pregnancy guides are problematic in various ways. They're condescending, judgmental, and aren't very informative. There's a real need for books that speak more to the science of pregnancy and don't infantilize women when offering advice, and Angela Garbes's book is a step in that direction.
While much of this is personal narrative, Garbes does some deep dives into subjects most mothers encounter during pregnancy and childbirth (like wtaf is a placenta, why childbirth destroys your pelvic floor, and why breast milk is the most brilliant human creation ever). She confronts the myth of long-standing pregnancy advice about abstaining from caffeine and alcohol (I love sushi and frequently mused during pregnancy that if I lived in Japan, no one would be telling me to avoid it). And, perhaps most importantly, she talks about stigmas surrounding miscarriage and postpartum depression. Again, this isn't a science-heavy book, but there's a lot of great information that women don't receive during pregnancy that can arm them with more agency in their pregnancies and births. Which is SO desperately needed for maternal care in this country.
And a big HELL YES to a pregnancy book by a woman of color. <3
While much of this is personal narrative, Garbes does some deep dives into subjects most mothers encounter during pregnancy and childbirth (like wtaf is a placenta, why childbirth destroys your pelvic floor, and why breast milk is the most brilliant human creation ever). She confronts the myth of long-standing pregnancy advice about abstaining from caffeine and alcohol (I love sushi and frequently mused during pregnancy that if I lived in Japan, no one would be telling me to avoid it). And, perhaps most importantly, she talks about stigmas surrounding miscarriage and postpartum depression. Again, this isn't a science-heavy book, but there's a lot of great information that women don't receive during pregnancy that can arm them with more agency in their pregnancies and births. Which is SO desperately needed for maternal care in this country.
And a big HELL YES to a pregnancy book by a woman of color. <3
March 19, 2022
This book was a fairly entertaining and a somewhat informative read, but it could've been so much better.
I am also first time pregnant and had not been particularly interested in the subject beforehand, but I was still surprised that Garbes didn't know certain things that were quite obvious to me. I also had learnt plenty that she was surprised by from What to Expect When You're Expecting - a much maligned book that I personally found great, non-judgemental and mostly scientifically solid.
I feel Garbes struggled to find the right tone for her essays. On one hand she wants to be serious and scientific but then she goes off on more woo-woo sisterhood tangents (insisting mothers know best and we should always ask other mothers, as if forgetting such things as a prevalence of anti-vaccination movements). So in the end we are treated to a story about how Garbes ate her placenta, followed by an explanation that there is actually no scientifically proven benefit to that.
I suppose it is hard not to get a little meta-physical when talking about pregnancy. I, too, get amazed each time I remember (or I'm reminded by a strong kick) that I have a tiny human inside me. The concept IS weird - I'm basically making a whole person from scratch.
This book is more of a collection of memoir-like essays peppered with 'did you know' science titbits, rather than a thorough examination of the science and culture of pregnancy which is what I was hoping for. However, I did learn some interesting things about placenta and the latest research into the exchange of fetal and maternal cells.
Last note regarding the breastfeeding section - I have no idea what a couple of reviewers on this site are on about (interestingly, neither of them allow comments under their reviews); they insist that Garber is some sort of 'Breast is best' preacher, maligning other choices. I couldn't find any basis for such accusations. Garbes explains the wonder that the breast milk is from a scientific point of view (the same way she marvels about the placenta) but highlights that it is ok, not to breastfeed, that it should be a personal choice, and that all women should get support whether they want to, don't want to, or can't breastfeed.
I am also first time pregnant and had not been particularly interested in the subject beforehand, but I was still surprised that Garbes didn't know certain things that were quite obvious to me. I also had learnt plenty that she was surprised by from What to Expect When You're Expecting - a much maligned book that I personally found great, non-judgemental and mostly scientifically solid.
I feel Garbes struggled to find the right tone for her essays. On one hand she wants to be serious and scientific but then she goes off on more woo-woo sisterhood tangents (insisting mothers know best and we should always ask other mothers, as if forgetting such things as a prevalence of anti-vaccination movements). So in the end we are treated to a story about how Garbes ate her placenta, followed by an explanation that there is actually no scientifically proven benefit to that.
I suppose it is hard not to get a little meta-physical when talking about pregnancy. I, too, get amazed each time I remember (or I'm reminded by a strong kick) that I have a tiny human inside me. The concept IS weird - I'm basically making a whole person from scratch.
This book is more of a collection of memoir-like essays peppered with 'did you know' science titbits, rather than a thorough examination of the science and culture of pregnancy which is what I was hoping for. However, I did learn some interesting things about placenta and the latest research into the exchange of fetal and maternal cells.
Last note regarding the breastfeeding section - I have no idea what a couple of reviewers on this site are on about (interestingly, neither of them allow comments under their reviews); they insist that Garber is some sort of 'Breast is best' preacher, maligning other choices. I couldn't find any basis for such accusations. Garbes explains the wonder that the breast milk is from a scientific point of view (the same way she marvels about the placenta) but highlights that it is ok, not to breastfeed, that it should be a personal choice, and that all women should get support whether they want to, don't want to, or can't breastfeed.
March 20, 2019
That was an incredibly disappointing read. With all the talk in the reviews and the book itself about how there’s all this great research and emerging science about women’s bodies and pregnancy that simply hasn’t reached the public yet, I think I expected it to be something along the lines of Oster’s “Expecting Better.” It was nothing of the sort. This was more of a personal history of the author and her friends through pregnancy, with scientific facts (such as a few paragraphs on the physiology of milk production, or the size and function of the placenta) sprinkled in.
I was left with a complete lack of understanding of what the point of the book was intended to be. The best I can come up with is something like “a set of intersectional feminist affirmations about pregnancy and early motherhood, mixed with frequent statements about how criminal it is that science doesn’t better understand these stages and populations.” It *was* that, but my disappointment came from thinking it would be more, or different. If that sounds good to you, by all means pick this up. Otherwise skip, and stick to “Expecting Better.”
Oh, and — I honestly have no idea what other reviewers are complaining about, that the section on nursing myopically ignores women who can’t or choose not to breastfeed. The author very explicitly and repeatedly qualifies her relatively easy experience in this department as lucky, and that feminism means supporting women in what they choose (“breast-feeding mothers need trained support to help them keep trying. But they also need to be told that, if they want to, they can stop. There is no right or wrong; there is just what we decide.”) I am completely mystified as to how other readers were offended by this chapter.
I was left with a complete lack of understanding of what the point of the book was intended to be. The best I can come up with is something like “a set of intersectional feminist affirmations about pregnancy and early motherhood, mixed with frequent statements about how criminal it is that science doesn’t better understand these stages and populations.” It *was* that, but my disappointment came from thinking it would be more, or different. If that sounds good to you, by all means pick this up. Otherwise skip, and stick to “Expecting Better.”
Oh, and — I honestly have no idea what other reviewers are complaining about, that the section on nursing myopically ignores women who can’t or choose not to breastfeed. The author very explicitly and repeatedly qualifies her relatively easy experience in this department as lucky, and that feminism means supporting women in what they choose (“breast-feeding mothers need trained support to help them keep trying. But they also need to be told that, if they want to, they can stop. There is no right or wrong; there is just what we decide.”) I am completely mystified as to how other readers were offended by this chapter.
August 19, 2018
I thought that the premise was interesting, but the book seems to be aimed at people who have never had babies or know nothing about childbirth. It seems like an informational text as opposed to a response to culture or analysis. Perhaps if I were pregnant for the first time, I would appreciate this book. I don't know. But having had 3 children with natural births and nursed them all for a long time, I often felt like interjecting her narrative to give her some advice.
April 21, 2018
Motherhood- it's an unfolding.
Of course, I don't know this firsthand- I cannot relate, but Garbes’ use of the literal unfolding of paper as a metaphor for the transformation of motherhood, gradual and all at once, makes me almost believe I can empathize:
“At first, I see the unfurling of tissue and viscera, the way our placenta, unraveled, would occupy miles of space. Then, the image gives way to a paper fortune teller, the intricately folded piece of paper that my friends played with in the cafeterias and study halls of middle school. You fold down corner after corner again, creating blank chambers on which to write future possibilities. You place your fingers inside and move them inward and outward, opening and closing and opening and closing, as the paper predicts what might become of you. After, you might unfold it and lay it flat on the table, but it isn’t the same piece of paper. It holds something else now, imbued with hope anxiousness, and curiosity for the future.” (230)
As much as I wish I could use a paper fortune teller to help me decide if motherhood is an undertaking I want to experience, I can’t. I’ve instead become research-obsessed. About a year ago, I read an incredibly interesting article about breast milk production of oligosaccharides solely for a baby's gut microbes and I was fascinated. Which other natural phenomena of motherhood are more complex than I ever imagined? It turns out, all of them seem to be. Since then, I have been reading up on the idiosyncratic properties of mother's milk- which, damn my social media algorithms, has also gotten me caught in webs of articles pertaining to motherhood and birth. Research is knowledge, and knowledge is power, and power is control. I am a control freak.
I think I'm tricking myself into believing that research will tip the scale and make the decision more evident. The research component is necessary for any decision I make: big or small. I feel isolated in that the most massive internal conflict of my life, (with the most consequences either way, be it good or bad) seems to be an inherent or instinctual desire for most people. I believe I am good with babies and children- I am gentle, creative, loving- all things that would make a quote "good mother." But I am incredibly anxious and, frankly, I just really enjoy my life as is and I hesitate to jeopardize making it something I don't. Is that selfish? Sure, but don’t for one second think that having a child doesn't have its own roots in selfishness. Either way, it isn’t a decision I want to take lightly— and it is a decision I wish more people did not take lightly. Up until recently, I was completely oblivious to how difficult and depressing the transformation into parenthood is: society used to consider it taboo to speak about it in anything other than a positive light, but now more mothers are being open about just how hard it is. As Garbes says, “We lack stories- diverse stories- about pregnancy and motherhood.”
I'm already dissatisfied with the care a woman receives after birthing a child and I haven't even come close to experiencing firsthand. My sister's prenatal and postpartum care opened my eyes to the ways our cultural norms relentlessly fail expectant mothers. Doctors, not to mention random members of society, meticulously monitor your body and choices when pregnant, but postpartum care is essentially non-existent! You're on your own. Hormonal changes aside, this lack of support leaves no room for question as to why so many women suffer from postpartum depression. Living away from home and being conscientious of my own hormonal issues, I worry I won't have the support I always envisioned I’d have. The old adage “It takes a village to raise a child” is so true, and we no longer have villages: we live in a culture that is obsessed with autonomy and the nuclear family unit. Now, as Garbes explains, many expectant mothers hire a doula, especially if they live away from extended family. While I think doulas are wonderful, I find it sad that our culture must hire and pay for support, care, and wisdom that we as women should naturally provide one another, especially since those women using doulas are white upper-class— what do other women without family closeby do? Many are an island. They endure the hardship of motherhood alone.
This book brought what most books on the topic lack: anatomy and science. I'm sure we all know how babies are made and enter the world, but Garbes puts full body female health into perspective all while not dismissing or undermining anecdotal experience. The most fascinating part of this book is at the end when Garbes discusses the exchange between fetal and maternal cells. Garbes highlights the recently-discovered ubiquity of microchimeric cells in the female body and their role in maternal injury recovery— like in C-section scars, so when someone says they are changed after motherhood, it is true down to the cellular level.
If you want an all-encompassing meditation on motherhood from placenta encapsulation, to the fluctuating feelings of self-worth, to the tit-spraying, milk-soaked, post-baby, laugh-out-loud, sex scenes, this book is for you. In fact, think everyone could benefit from reading this, not just expectant mothers, mothers who need to feel less alone, or the baby-curious researchers like me. *This is an ARC- To be published May 2018.*
Of course, I don't know this firsthand- I cannot relate, but Garbes’ use of the literal unfolding of paper as a metaphor for the transformation of motherhood, gradual and all at once, makes me almost believe I can empathize:
“At first, I see the unfurling of tissue and viscera, the way our placenta, unraveled, would occupy miles of space. Then, the image gives way to a paper fortune teller, the intricately folded piece of paper that my friends played with in the cafeterias and study halls of middle school. You fold down corner after corner again, creating blank chambers on which to write future possibilities. You place your fingers inside and move them inward and outward, opening and closing and opening and closing, as the paper predicts what might become of you. After, you might unfold it and lay it flat on the table, but it isn’t the same piece of paper. It holds something else now, imbued with hope anxiousness, and curiosity for the future.” (230)
As much as I wish I could use a paper fortune teller to help me decide if motherhood is an undertaking I want to experience, I can’t. I’ve instead become research-obsessed. About a year ago, I read an incredibly interesting article about breast milk production of oligosaccharides solely for a baby's gut microbes and I was fascinated. Which other natural phenomena of motherhood are more complex than I ever imagined? It turns out, all of them seem to be. Since then, I have been reading up on the idiosyncratic properties of mother's milk- which, damn my social media algorithms, has also gotten me caught in webs of articles pertaining to motherhood and birth. Research is knowledge, and knowledge is power, and power is control. I am a control freak.
I think I'm tricking myself into believing that research will tip the scale and make the decision more evident. The research component is necessary for any decision I make: big or small. I feel isolated in that the most massive internal conflict of my life, (with the most consequences either way, be it good or bad) seems to be an inherent or instinctual desire for most people. I believe I am good with babies and children- I am gentle, creative, loving- all things that would make a quote "good mother." But I am incredibly anxious and, frankly, I just really enjoy my life as is and I hesitate to jeopardize making it something I don't. Is that selfish? Sure, but don’t for one second think that having a child doesn't have its own roots in selfishness. Either way, it isn’t a decision I want to take lightly— and it is a decision I wish more people did not take lightly. Up until recently, I was completely oblivious to how difficult and depressing the transformation into parenthood is: society used to consider it taboo to speak about it in anything other than a positive light, but now more mothers are being open about just how hard it is. As Garbes says, “We lack stories- diverse stories- about pregnancy and motherhood.”
I'm already dissatisfied with the care a woman receives after birthing a child and I haven't even come close to experiencing firsthand. My sister's prenatal and postpartum care opened my eyes to the ways our cultural norms relentlessly fail expectant mothers. Doctors, not to mention random members of society, meticulously monitor your body and choices when pregnant, but postpartum care is essentially non-existent! You're on your own. Hormonal changes aside, this lack of support leaves no room for question as to why so many women suffer from postpartum depression. Living away from home and being conscientious of my own hormonal issues, I worry I won't have the support I always envisioned I’d have. The old adage “It takes a village to raise a child” is so true, and we no longer have villages: we live in a culture that is obsessed with autonomy and the nuclear family unit. Now, as Garbes explains, many expectant mothers hire a doula, especially if they live away from extended family. While I think doulas are wonderful, I find it sad that our culture must hire and pay for support, care, and wisdom that we as women should naturally provide one another, especially since those women using doulas are white upper-class— what do other women without family closeby do? Many are an island. They endure the hardship of motherhood alone.
This book brought what most books on the topic lack: anatomy and science. I'm sure we all know how babies are made and enter the world, but Garbes puts full body female health into perspective all while not dismissing or undermining anecdotal experience. The most fascinating part of this book is at the end when Garbes discusses the exchange between fetal and maternal cells. Garbes highlights the recently-discovered ubiquity of microchimeric cells in the female body and their role in maternal injury recovery— like in C-section scars, so when someone says they are changed after motherhood, it is true down to the cellular level.
If you want an all-encompassing meditation on motherhood from placenta encapsulation, to the fluctuating feelings of self-worth, to the tit-spraying, milk-soaked, post-baby, laugh-out-loud, sex scenes, this book is for you. In fact, think everyone could benefit from reading this, not just expectant mothers, mothers who need to feel less alone, or the baby-curious researchers like me. *This is an ARC- To be published May 2018.*
December 26, 2018
At 31 weeks pregnant, this is the first and probably only book about pregnancy that I will have read before my baby arrives. Being pregnant means being constantly overwhelmed and inundated by information. I have been picky about where I seek it—especially if I’m going to be committing myself to a 200+ page book.
I knew when I saw the title of this book that it was the one for me. I needed something that would be unapologetically feminist; empowering without being sanctimonious; and candid about the realities of pregnancy, birth and motherhood without without making me more anxious than I already am about the toll that they take on the mind and body.
This is very much a hybrid of a personal memoir and an informational book—and that makes it, mercifully, highly engaging. I gained value from reading about this like-minded woman’s thoughts, emotions and experiences, because there is of course a certain universality to all of it.
The common themes throughout are ones that I’ve spent a great deal of time thinking about myself: the endless barrage of information, and how “sifting through these contradictory messages amplifies the already tremendous sense of responsibility you have as an expectant mother” and the distinct indifference within the medical community when it comes to dealing with women’s health, to name a few.
In addition to addressing these cultural topics, Garbes also provides fascinating explanations of, for example, the placenta, which I didn’t even know was an organ.
I’m coming away from reading this book with a better understanding of my own body, reassurance that my own thoughts and feelings are normal, and a sense of confidence that I’ll be better equipped to advocate for myself as I navigate post-partum life and new motherhood.
I knew when I saw the title of this book that it was the one for me. I needed something that would be unapologetically feminist; empowering without being sanctimonious; and candid about the realities of pregnancy, birth and motherhood without without making me more anxious than I already am about the toll that they take on the mind and body.
This is very much a hybrid of a personal memoir and an informational book—and that makes it, mercifully, highly engaging. I gained value from reading about this like-minded woman’s thoughts, emotions and experiences, because there is of course a certain universality to all of it.
The common themes throughout are ones that I’ve spent a great deal of time thinking about myself: the endless barrage of information, and how “sifting through these contradictory messages amplifies the already tremendous sense of responsibility you have as an expectant mother” and the distinct indifference within the medical community when it comes to dealing with women’s health, to name a few.
In addition to addressing these cultural topics, Garbes also provides fascinating explanations of, for example, the placenta, which I didn’t even know was an organ.
I’m coming away from reading this book with a better understanding of my own body, reassurance that my own thoughts and feelings are normal, and a sense of confidence that I’ll be better equipped to advocate for myself as I navigate post-partum life and new motherhood.
February 25, 2019
Although I am not now a mother and in all probability I will never be pregnant or give birth I am fascinated by childbirth and have read a fair number of books on the subject. This book is different in how deeply it delves into the science of pregnancy. The information on the placenta and lactation in particular was astonishing and fascinating. The information on the pelvic floor should be given to all pregnant women. On the other hand, the feminist and culture parts of the book were hit and miss, some parts were interesting and other parts were odd and I disagreed with the author a few times in those sections.
August 23, 2020
I like this book as a memoir, but not as a resource for expectant moms or expectant moms to be. I feel like the author went out of her way to support/justify her personal experiences (for example drinking while pregnant, CSection, breastfeeding), but did not apply the same lens to experiences that have just as much evidence-based justification and support. It was sort of jarring to have the back to back experience of reading about csections being so okay followed by breastfeeding being so special and important.
October 14, 2020
I loved this book! I was getting a little fatigued when it came to pregnancy books, but this book actually make me excited and proud to be having a baby. Some of the information in this book is so fascinating that I feel like my body is doing magical things and will continue to do more of them. I highly recommend this book to anyone who is overwhelmed and frightened by pregnancy and motherhood. This book is honest and real, but it shows you how amazing you are for doing this too.
September 5, 2020
I'm very glad I read this when I did. As a non-pregnant woman starting to think about the possibility of having a family, Garbes gifted me with a coat of armour to protect me to society's contradictory expectations of pregnant women. She provided me with a voice of empowerment, autonomy, and comfort to sooth those likely feelings of guilt and anxiety. I dog-earred and underlined the heck out of this book, knowing I may need to hear Garbes wisdom once again.
In a way felt like I was reading the next chapter of Invisible Women. Many of the myths and expectations surrounding pregnancy are a result of a data gap - a lack of study - of pregnancy. The chapters on substance use, placentas, pregnancy loss, and the pelvic floor were especially compelling in this regard.
"Instead, the void is filled with opinions and information from sources that are not always accurate and often rooted in particular value systems. They frequently leave women feeling confused, alone, afraid, or, worse, ashamed.
When we don't know and appreciate our bodies—when we feel disconnected from their inherent cycles and rhythms our power, rights, and choices are more easily taken away from us."
I also really enjoyed Garbes style - the mix of analysis and personal perspective made it feel like a memoir + and easy to read.
There are parts that are geared to Americans (e.g. healthcare) and I appreciated Garbes focus on the staggeringly different maternal outcomes for black women in the US and a history lesson on how criminalization of widwifery impacted black and Indigenous women in particular. Generally speaking, I appreciated Garbes intersectional approach.
So obviously I loved this book, BUT there were a couple of parts that bugged me. There were occasional leanings of motherhood/pregnancy/breastfeeding being the female body's true purpose that I didn't feel was very feminist. I started to excuse this as "Garbes is writing to an audience who want to be mothers," but Lindy West reviewed this book saying it was doubly important for non-mothers to read this, and if we want society as a whole to stop putting ridiculous constraints on pregnant bodies, then we also have to make books like this welcoming to people who don't want children. We can start by not saying things like "breasts can only fulfill their true calling through pregnancy."
In a way felt like I was reading the next chapter of Invisible Women. Many of the myths and expectations surrounding pregnancy are a result of a data gap - a lack of study - of pregnancy. The chapters on substance use, placentas, pregnancy loss, and the pelvic floor were especially compelling in this regard.
"Instead, the void is filled with opinions and information from sources that are not always accurate and often rooted in particular value systems. They frequently leave women feeling confused, alone, afraid, or, worse, ashamed.
When we don't know and appreciate our bodies—when we feel disconnected from their inherent cycles and rhythms our power, rights, and choices are more easily taken away from us."
I also really enjoyed Garbes style - the mix of analysis and personal perspective made it feel like a memoir + and easy to read.
There are parts that are geared to Americans (e.g. healthcare) and I appreciated Garbes focus on the staggeringly different maternal outcomes for black women in the US and a history lesson on how criminalization of widwifery impacted black and Indigenous women in particular. Generally speaking, I appreciated Garbes intersectional approach.
So obviously I loved this book, BUT there were a couple of parts that bugged me. There were occasional leanings of motherhood/pregnancy/breastfeeding being the female body's true purpose that I didn't feel was very feminist. I started to excuse this as "Garbes is writing to an audience who want to be mothers," but Lindy West reviewed this book saying it was doubly important for non-mothers to read this, and if we want society as a whole to stop putting ridiculous constraints on pregnant bodies, then we also have to make books like this welcoming to people who don't want children. We can start by not saying things like "breasts can only fulfill their true calling through pregnancy."
May 28, 2024
Not sure how to feel about this book, it started by saying that the author couldn't find the benefits of breastfeeding anywhere, this makes me wonder where the author was looking and how she couldn't find any research showing the benefits.
Then I got interested when it talked about Sims the father of modern gynecology who performed shocking exposures on enslaved women. Sims would test them on the enslaved women without using anesthesia before performing them on white women. It was also shocking when the author mentioned how the field of gynecology changed drastically by disregarding the experience of all midwives and doulas who were delivering babies years before any doctor was.
Then the book lost me again because it sounds like the author doesn't trust doctors. For example, she mentions how nowadays a lot of pregnant women are told in detail what to eat and what not to eat which is something that was not done before and in her mind is excessive and restrictive for new moms. Well, the kind of foods and toxins that we have now were not the same as before so we have to be careful.
I'm unsure if this book is for me. I'm already at 15%, but I might give it a bit more of a chance before deciding whether to continue or just DNF it.
Okay I am done at 20%. The author started discussing how pregnant women face the taboo of drinking in public and how studies are inconclusive about the safe limits of drinking. She mentioned a case where a pregnant woman with twins was drinking, and one baby was okay while the other developed fetal alcohol syndrome. She used this as argument that maybe women can drink while pregnant and that other factors should be investigated so we can now for sure the safe limit of drinking. However, if one of the babies got sick, any logical, responsible mother would stop drinking altogether. While I understand the difficulties pregnant women face, this book is definitely not for me.
Then I got interested when it talked about Sims the father of modern gynecology who performed shocking exposures on enslaved women. Sims would test them on the enslaved women without using anesthesia before performing them on white women. It was also shocking when the author mentioned how the field of gynecology changed drastically by disregarding the experience of all midwives and doulas who were delivering babies years before any doctor was.
Then the book lost me again because it sounds like the author doesn't trust doctors. For example, she mentions how nowadays a lot of pregnant women are told in detail what to eat and what not to eat which is something that was not done before and in her mind is excessive and restrictive for new moms. Well, the kind of foods and toxins that we have now were not the same as before so we have to be careful.
I'm unsure if this book is for me. I'm already at 15%, but I might give it a bit more of a chance before deciding whether to continue or just DNF it.
Okay I am done at 20%. The author started discussing how pregnant women face the taboo of drinking in public and how studies are inconclusive about the safe limits of drinking. She mentioned a case where a pregnant woman with twins was drinking, and one baby was okay while the other developed fetal alcohol syndrome. She used this as argument that maybe women can drink while pregnant and that other factors should be investigated so we can now for sure the safe limit of drinking. However, if one of the babies got sick, any logical, responsible mother would stop drinking altogether. While I understand the difficulties pregnant women face, this book is definitely not for me.
November 9, 2019
"True female reproductive health, which is the foundation of everyone’s health, requires that the social systems in which we live allow us to make informed choices about what is best for each of us."
3.5 stars. I waffled for a long time between a 3 and a 4 on this one.
What I liked: I learned a lot. The amount I didn't know about this particular piece of women's health was ridiculous. Garbes takes the reader through the arc of childbirth, from pregnancy to post-partum, and links that to the science. What is a placenta and what does it actually do? How did the favoured "lie on your back" birth position originate? (Spoiler: King Louis XIV was a bit of a freak.) What's the actual deal with breast milk, and doulas, and pelvic floor therapy?
What I wanted to be different: Less memoir, more science. I was happy to have the author pepper in a few personal anecdotes, but it became less appealing when those anecdotes seemed to become the basis of the final chapters.
Overall, this was definitely an interesting (and sometimes cringe-inducing) read that left me with a lot of new facts to wave around at the bar and a continued appreciation for how traumatic pregnancy can be.
3.5 stars. I waffled for a long time between a 3 and a 4 on this one.
What I liked: I learned a lot. The amount I didn't know about this particular piece of women's health was ridiculous. Garbes takes the reader through the arc of childbirth, from pregnancy to post-partum, and links that to the science. What is a placenta and what does it actually do? How did the favoured "lie on your back" birth position originate? (Spoiler: King Louis XIV was a bit of a freak.) What's the actual deal with breast milk, and doulas, and pelvic floor therapy?
What I wanted to be different: Less memoir, more science. I was happy to have the author pepper in a few personal anecdotes, but it became less appealing when those anecdotes seemed to become the basis of the final chapters.
Overall, this was definitely an interesting (and sometimes cringe-inducing) read that left me with a lot of new facts to wave around at the bar and a continued appreciation for how traumatic pregnancy can be.
October 22, 2021
Overall a fascinating and affirming read. Topics include the placenta, restrictive drug/alcohol guidelines during pregnancy, breastfeeding, labour and birth support, the pelvic floor, birth plans, and the exchange of fetal and maternal cells. Garbes's own experiences are woven throughout. You could tell she was a food writer when she was describing visceral things like the placenta and what a strange amazing organ it is.
The overarching argument is that instead of prescriptive, judgemental advice based obliquely on evidence, the entirety of information should be made available so women (using that deliberately here) can make their own decisions. To that I say YES.
Speaking of the term women, there is a weirdly inconsistent mix of inclusive language like pregnant people and exclusive terms like mother's milk and female body parts. It feels a bit like wanting to have your cake and eat it too, like wanting to look trans inclusive when it's immediately relevant but not really taking that insight to heart for the rest of the book.
I would have rathered she just explicitly state the book is about and for cis women, especially given that so much of it is about her experience and only briefly mentions any research that was not conducted on cis women.
The overarching argument is that instead of prescriptive, judgemental advice based obliquely on evidence, the entirety of information should be made available so women (using that deliberately here) can make their own decisions. To that I say YES.
Speaking of the term women, there is a weirdly inconsistent mix of inclusive language like pregnant people and exclusive terms like mother's milk and female body parts. It feels a bit like wanting to have your cake and eat it too, like wanting to look trans inclusive when it's immediately relevant but not really taking that insight to heart for the rest of the book.
I would have rathered she just explicitly state the book is about and for cis women, especially given that so much of it is about her experience and only briefly mentions any research that was not conducted on cis women.
December 15, 2018
I finally read this book after hearing it referenced so many times on the Mom Rage podcast. It was great and now my go-to present for new parents. It had all the nitty gritty details about birth and aftercare that no one talks about as well as raw, emotional anecdotes from other mothers. I especially love that it’s not prescriptive and really just serves to educate women about their bodies.
May 19, 2021
The book started promising. It summarised well the societal pressures that pregnant women are forced to face and the frustration coming from being constantly patronised and infantilised by pregnancy books and websites, when trying to find reliable, science-based information.
Apart from that, I did find some useful information, especially about the postpartum period. I also learned some facts which were at least interesting, if not very useful (e.g. about placenta).
Unfortunately, I found quite a number of things disappointing:
- There wasn't enough about the actual pregnancy. That was the focus on maybe 30% of the book at most.
- Many times it was weirdly spiritual, which was a bit off-putting for a down-to-earth person like me.
- There was always a strong preference for the option the author liked better, such as "natural" (a.k.a. inhumanely painful) birth instead of the use of epidural or c-section. The worst was probably the chapter glorifying breastfeeding. It was supposed to be a feminist book. Feminism is about the women having the right to choose and not being chastised for those choices.
- I felt like sometimes the author villanised slightly the medicalization of pregnancy of birth. You know, the very reason why the complications related to pregnancy and childbirth are no longer the leading cause of death among women today.
- Random insertion of libfem ideology (which doesn't represent the majority of feminists, especially among those seeking information about female reproductive health), where transitioning from one sex to another was compared to childbirth. Completely off-topic and bringing absolutely nothing to the table.
If this is supposed to be the least judgmental and condescending book about pregnancy out there (except from Expecting Better: Why the Conventional Pregnancy Wisdom is Wrong - and What You Really Need to Know, which was excellent), I'm not going to read any other for the reminder of my pregnancy. I guess from now on I'll just rely on the information I get from the medical professionals.
Apart from that, I did find some useful information, especially about the postpartum period. I also learned some facts which were at least interesting, if not very useful (e.g. about placenta).
Unfortunately, I found quite a number of things disappointing:
- There wasn't enough about the actual pregnancy. That was the focus on maybe 30% of the book at most.
- Many times it was weirdly spiritual, which was a bit off-putting for a down-to-earth person like me.
- There was always a strong preference for the option the author liked better, such as "natural" (a.k.a. inhumanely painful) birth instead of the use of epidural or c-section. The worst was probably the chapter glorifying breastfeeding. It was supposed to be a feminist book. Feminism is about the women having the right to choose and not being chastised for those choices.
- I felt like sometimes the author villanised slightly the medicalization of pregnancy of birth. You know, the very reason why the complications related to pregnancy and childbirth are no longer the leading cause of death among women today.
- Random insertion of libfem ideology (which doesn't represent the majority of feminists, especially among those seeking information about female reproductive health), where transitioning from one sex to another was compared to childbirth. Completely off-topic and bringing absolutely nothing to the table.
If this is supposed to be the least judgmental and condescending book about pregnancy out there (except from Expecting Better: Why the Conventional Pregnancy Wisdom is Wrong - and What You Really Need to Know, which was excellent), I'm not going to read any other for the reminder of my pregnancy. I guess from now on I'll just rely on the information I get from the medical professionals.
February 25, 2021
This is the book I think every pregnant person should read. It has a whole bunch of information that most other pregnancy books just don’t take the time to get into, like how breastfeeding ACTUALLY works, and what the placenta does for both the pregnant person and the baby (it’s magical), and it addresses miscarriage in a human way. While I don’t necessarily agree with Garbes’ opinions on everything, I value the work she put into this book. As a person who appreciates the science rather than the fluff, this was everything I wanted to know about being pregnant.
September 24, 2019
(not pregnant just interested in understanding this life-changing event that sounds equally scary and transformative!!)
Read
May 24, 2025to friends and family who see that i read this book, i promise this is not a pregnancy announcement
June 7, 2023
Before Nosy Nellies or my mom message me assuming I'm TTC...calm down! As a functional gut + hormone health nutritionist I work with so many women on their fertility preconception, through pregnancy, and postpartum.
I chose this book to learn more about the pregnancy experience in America, fun science facts (also love Mary Roach)!, and new perspectives! I really enjoyed Angela's narrative take on her pregnancy – and also realized she's a fellow Filipina! A pleasant surprise pick for AAPI month.
There was a lot I already knew from my work, but also so much to learn and all of it was presented in such a digestible way. Fascinating facts about placenta! Microchimerism! I appreciated Garbes' acknowledgement of pregnancy loss via miscarriage, and also abortion without judgement.
Like a Mother was also a sobering and enraging reminder of how women are left behind when it comes to postpartum care in America.
Overall, highly recommend this book to anyone considering pregnancy, to service providers supporting clients pre/during/post pregnancy (it me!), childfree people who want to understand friends/loved ones' experiences (also me!), expecting parents. It was a quick, informative and approachable read.
I chose this book to learn more about the pregnancy experience in America, fun science facts (also love Mary Roach)!, and new perspectives! I really enjoyed Angela's narrative take on her pregnancy – and also realized she's a fellow Filipina! A pleasant surprise pick for AAPI month.
There was a lot I already knew from my work, but also so much to learn and all of it was presented in such a digestible way. Fascinating facts about placenta! Microchimerism! I appreciated Garbes' acknowledgement of pregnancy loss via miscarriage, and also abortion without judgement.
Like a Mother was also a sobering and enraging reminder of how women are left behind when it comes to postpartum care in America.
Overall, highly recommend this book to anyone considering pregnancy, to service providers supporting clients pre/during/post pregnancy (it me!), childfree people who want to understand friends/loved ones' experiences (also me!), expecting parents. It was a quick, informative and approachable read.
November 19, 2019
Finished in less than 24 hrs-it’s that hard to put down! An easy but inspiring read that’s a million times better than the dreaded “What to Expect” and similar books. (Seriously-just avoid those altogether.) I loved that the author delved into topics usually ignored, such as the placenta, the pressure on mothers to “do everything right” in order to have a healthy baby, and the fact that alcohol was a normal part of pregnancy into the 1980s.
However, while the subtitle is “A Feminist Journey Through the Science and Culture of Pregnancy”, I feel it would have been more accurate to add an apostrophe “s” and call it a Feminist’s Journey. This book is more memoir than unbiased guide, and I think the reader should know that going in. Now that I’ve had my first child, I also see how certain components of new motherhood are presented as universal (leaking breasts, etc) when the truth is that NO two women have the same exact experience. Your breasts may never leak if, like mine, they also fail to produce enough milk for your child. Take everyone’s pregnancy and postpartum experiences with a grain of salt and know that nothing is universal.
However, while the subtitle is “A Feminist Journey Through the Science and Culture of Pregnancy”, I feel it would have been more accurate to add an apostrophe “s” and call it a Feminist’s Journey. This book is more memoir than unbiased guide, and I think the reader should know that going in. Now that I’ve had my first child, I also see how certain components of new motherhood are presented as universal (leaking breasts, etc) when the truth is that NO two women have the same exact experience. Your breasts may never leak if, like mine, they also fail to produce enough milk for your child. Take everyone’s pregnancy and postpartum experiences with a grain of salt and know that nothing is universal.
May 30, 2018
There is some great stuff in this title, and I enjoyed reading it. Garbes is a thoughtful and illustrative writer--she really digs into imagery and detail. I wish, though, that this book had been more heavily edited. There is no clear throughline, and subjects thus receive a random-seeming amount of attention, which varies quite a bit from topic to topic. While of course Garbes makes no claim to having written a comprehensive book, I feel she could have tried a little more to include more topics or to add more focus to her narrative.
Also, despite her best efforts to be inclusive, I wouldn't recommend this book to single mothers or to those who have been unable to breastfeed--while they would enjoy many aspects of it, the focus on human milk and on the amazingness of Garbes' partner might be hard to take.
Critiques aside, when this book is good it's great, and I'll remember many anecdotes and factual tidbits from it for quite a while.
Also, despite her best efforts to be inclusive, I wouldn't recommend this book to single mothers or to those who have been unable to breastfeed--while they would enjoy many aspects of it, the focus on human milk and on the amazingness of Garbes' partner might be hard to take.
Critiques aside, when this book is good it's great, and I'll remember many anecdotes and factual tidbits from it for quite a while.
August 25, 2018
I've never given birth, and never intend to, but this was an incredibly interesting book about how much we know (and don't know) scientifically about the mechanisms of pregnancy and motherhood. As a non-mother I would compare its appeal to a Mary Roach book - individual chapters dig into the study (and lack of study) of the placenta, breast milk, pelvic floors, miscarriages, etc. It's all fascinating and gross and amazing.
June 9, 2018
I wish this had been longer, because I feel like it touched on so much and could have been thousands of pages. But it’s great and worth reading.
June 7, 2022
I really loved this book and found it to be refreshingly different than other pregnancy books I have read (such as a whole chapter about the placenta). It doesn’t glamorize pregnancy, but is rather realistic about it (the awe of it, the really hard stuff no one warns you about, the reality that things probably won’t go as planned). I’d definitely recommend this to those who are pregnant, looking to become pregnant, just curious, or want to be a supportive partner to someone embarking on the journey.
February 5, 2019
This was an amazing read! Everyone who has ever lived a life should read this book to take a closer look at pregnancy, pre and post natal care in America, and generally, to just understand more about giving birth. It’s something so shrouded in secrecy, and Garbes does an excellent job of detailing it through research and personal anecdotes, which is how one should read nonfiction! This book was challenging in all the right ways, and also extremely important in terms of looking at how America mistreats women throughout their pregnancy and into motherhood.
HARD RECOMMEND, read if you’re pregnant, not pregnant, trying to give birth, not trying to give birth-read it! Not just for moms (proof-me, I’m not a mom and I loved this book).
HARD RECOMMEND, read if you’re pregnant, not pregnant, trying to give birth, not trying to give birth-read it! Not just for moms (proof-me, I’m not a mom and I loved this book).
March 11, 2023
The best pregnancy book I’ve read to date. To be fair, I’ve only read two - but with mommy blogs, social media, and unsolicited advice, this book has been a godsend.
Garbed offers FACTUAL information with credible sources and as she mentions in her first few pages, she never shames parents-to-be or presents her experiences or preferences as recommendations.
As a Filipina American, I love that this is also written by a fellow Filipina.
Garbed offers FACTUAL information with credible sources and as she mentions in her first few pages, she never shames parents-to-be or presents her experiences or preferences as recommendations.
As a Filipina American, I love that this is also written by a fellow Filipina.
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