Çocuklarda Aşırı Kaygı ve Kaygı Azaltma Yöntemleri

by John S. Dacey, Lisa B. Fiore, Işık Doğangün (Translator)

Sevecen bir dille ve bilgelikle yazılmış kılavuz niteliğindeki bu kitap kaygının çocukları nasıl etkilediğine yönelik açıklamalar sunuyor; yetişkinlerin, kaygı ve korkularının üstesinden gelmelerinde çocuklara nasıl yardım edebileceklerine dair ayrıntılı öneriler getiriyor. Farklı yaşlara ve öğrenme tarzına sahip çocuklar için uyarlanabilecek çarpıcı vaka örnekleri ve zengin çeşitlilikte stratejiler içeren bu kitabın anne babalar ve öğretmenleri için benzersiz bir kaynak olacağına inanıyoruz.

Genres: Parenting, Psychology, Self Help, Nonfiction

224 pages, Paperback

First published February 23, 2000

Reviews

[christinemm · Rating 3 out of 5]

The first addition was published in 2000 and this is the second intuition published in 2016. The book urges us to also use the companion website but after getting three error messages and on able to load the page, I finally received a page that had zero links and no videos as advertised or anything. The only thing on the page was a link where we could purchase the book. I already own the book. I was curious if the website was going to provide better information than the book did. If so I would’ve rated this higher.

In the introduction it is stated that the world has changed since the year 2000 and children have more stress than ever especially in school. I agree. However that was the last time they ever talk about school and the problems that it causes. Instead the book pretty much blamed the parents and playmates but it never blames the other students that the child is forced to be with at daycare, preschool, and school.

Wiley is a publisher of books for teachers and prodessionals working in schools. The three authors of the book all work in academia. Dacey is a college professor and psychotherapist. Mack has 38 years working in schools with curriculum and is a grant writer. Fiore is a dean at a college and teaches education courses at college as well as an advocate and a conference speaker.

I agree with the authors that behavioral changes and coping strategies are very important. They say that 90% of the time kids are better health by learning coping skills than medication. Bravo for that.

They state that there are three causes of anxiety that must all happen together, biological, psychological, and social. Those things interact and affect each other. Although they acknowledge very briefly that the biological issues includes hormones, abnormal brain activity, sleep issues stimulation issues, and food: they do not have any further discussion such as how vital and important nutrition, eating good food and avoiding Certain known problem foods us. Nor do they mention that in many classrooms today Candy is given as a reward for good behavior when in fact list can be a physical trigger for kids to have mood issues or anxiety problems! They stay away from the nutrition topic completely and I urge parents to look into this. An older book written by a medical doctor that is especially useful is “Is This Your Child?” By Doris Rapp MD.

However missing from YAC is the fact that we now know that the microbiome and the balance of good bacteria in the gut a.k.a. digestive system, can be a cause of anxiety and depression in children and adults. I would refer you to the book The Microbiome Solution which is very easy to read and written by a GI medical doctor. These issues with dysbiosis also our suspected to be a problem with triggering brain five and blocking clear thinking, giving symptoms of learning disabilities, and autism behaviors.

Anyway YAC is mostly an explanation of a system that they have called the cope method. Although the sea means calm the nervous system, they mean for this to be an action that is done in the moment that a child is having an anxiety episode. Other professionals would argue that calming the nervous system is something that is done in other ways such as improving nutrition improving sleep at Cetera but that’s not what they mean.

They claim that this book is for parents and teachers to use. They never explain how a teacher is supposed to do these exercises. I think a lot of these exercises are best done one on one. Some of them are very personal and have the children revealing a lot about them self. It seems to me that these exercises are best to be done with a trained psychologist in a professional setting or done at home with a parent if the child is willing. For children I know with diagnosed anxiety problems would refuse to do most of these activities. Maybe it’s personality? These children are all very stubborn the boys and even the girl that I know would think most of these activities are silly or dumb. No way on earth would 15-year-olds do some of these even in the exercises that say they are for that age.

I take issue with the list on page 13–14 when they have a list of anxiety symptoms by year. I feel that this is out of date, this is not the experience that I have witnessed over the last 20 years with my own kids and their friends. There is a bias in this chart, they do not discuss stress or issues at day care or preschool in this chart. They state that the first time a child feel stress at school is age 6. That is just not true. Kids are stressed at daycare and they are stressed when they begin kindergarten at age 5. Most kindergarten is full day now, and serious reading instruction begins in kindergarten now. This puts stress on children and pressure. Standardized testing also begins in the very early grades which is not mentioned here.

They also should add a category for worries for girls concerning their weight whether they are thin or fat, my friends report that their girls start discussing this at age 6. Pathetic yes, but true. Starting at age 5 even the boys are criticized for what they wear, such as if their sneakers have cartoon character on it they are told that it’s a baby cartoon. Kids do a lot of judging of each other on appearances even at age 5 in kindergarten!

There is nothing in this book for teachers to guide them as to how to speak to students about such topics or to discourage that type of judgment on each other.

Also going back 15 years kids in school are dating with boyfriends and girlfriends starting in third grade, there is a pressure not only to have a boyfriend or girlfriend but the kids a line after a break up into who’s on who side this is pressure for the kids who weren’t even in the relationship. That even kiss when the teachers back is turned! This sounds so stupid I know I can’t even believe I’m writing this, but I’ve heard these drama social stressful situations from my friends whose kids went through it. Also there’s issues with intimate activity beginning in middle school, having oral relations on the school bus while other students watch, doing that in the stairway in middle school. This is America today. Having to have that go on the school bus gives some kids anxiety!

This book is very beginner information for parents regarding things such as the eight different types of anxiety. I did appreciate the explanation on the role of adrenaline during an anxiety response, this is all accurate.

There is a new chapter on preschoolers, chapter 7. I thought this was all too theoretical in nature. They discuss the theories of Erickson, Piaget, and Maslow. This is psychology textbook stuff and there’s not much real world information here although they do give special COPE procedures for that age range.

If you are a parent who knows absolutely nothing about anxiety in children, if you have never spoken to friends about this and if you have never known anyone who has anxiety, then this book will give you a very small glimpse into the mind of an anxious child.

Although the author seem to accuse that if a child has anxiety it is something that they learned it home and I really resent that. This book does a lot of blaming of the parents and it also oversimplifies to say that if the parents model living a non-anxious life that the child will do it also, this just is not true. For example a family can go through stressful Events and the adults can cope just fine but the children may not be able to handle it yet. It’s no one’s fault that sometimes bad things happen to good people: job loss, death, Not to mention war and natural disasters. While it is true then an anxious parents can make a child learn to be anxious, those parents have a very poor self perception and they think they are completely rational in their fears, in my opinion. Therefore all of this advice is going to go right over their heads. Those anxious parents will not think that they are a source of teaching the child to act that way because they think their own fears are completely rational and justified.

And again the schools are barely mentioned and there is no instruction here for her teachers are supposed to use these procedures in the classroom.

I really do support the idea that 90% of kids can be help with behavioral modification. But I can’t underscore how the absolute foundation is good nutrition, good health, and getting enough sleep. I’m not making this up, I have learned a lot for me neural feedback specialist about this and witnessed a lot with my own two children. I know for a fact that if a child is dealing with hypoglycemia and having up-and-down insulin levels due to a high carb stabdard American Diet diet or eating a lot of sweets, that they are setting themselves up for feeling anxiety, mood swings, feelings of sadness or depression, and for having anxiety attacks.

But I can’t stress enough how the absolute foundation is good nutrition, good health, a healthy microbiome, and getting enough sleep. I also know for a fact that if a child is dealing with hypoglycemia and up-and-down insulin levels to do a high carb diet or a day with a lot of sweets, that they are setting themselves up for feeling anxiety and for having anxiety attacks. All of the co-procedures will not be effective if that base foundation is not there. Medication alone won’t work either, you need the base foundation I mentioned, plus behavioral modification and sometimes still: medication (Perhaps temporarily while behavioral modification changes are made).

Rating 3 stars = It’s Okay But I was tempted to give it to stars I don’t like it. There is some good stuff here it’s just not as thorough as I would like to see and some of the exercises are really goofy.

[Melissa’s Bookshelf · Rating 4 out of 5]

I got this book from the library and really appreciated the COPE method described. I noticed there is a 2016 version and would love to read it as well. This book offers many exercises that you as a parent can do to help your child cope with anxiety. It also offers tips on when to seek professional help.

The COPE method is simply Calming the nervous system, Originating an imaginative plan, Persisting in the face of obstacles and failure, and Evaluating and adjusting the plan. I really like the fact that they incorporate the belief in a Higher Power in helping to cope with anxiety. One suggestion would be to have more examples of how parents can use the exercises in different situations.

[Can Acar · Rating 1 out of 5]

Kitap güzel başladı, fakat oldukça kötü devam etti. Başlangıçta yaratilan hiçbir beklentiyi karşılamayan saçmalık içeren pratik önerilerle dolu. Bazıları:

"Çatirdat şu kasları" (Bedendeki her kası sıkıp bırakacakmış çocuğumuz. Nasıl olacağı ise hayal gücümüze bırakılmış durumda.) Dişleri sıkıp bırakırsa iyi gelirmiş. Ömrümde böyle saçma bir şey duymadım.

"Tılsım Kullanmak" (Tılsımlı ayinli sacmasapan bir aktivite)

"Ritmik duadan gelen dinginlik" (Adeta herhangi bir Gibi dizisi bölüm ismi...)

"Endişe İpi" (Eminönü altgecitinde satılan plastik bir stres bileziği gibi bir şey)

Kitabı bu gibi yeterli saçma içeriğinden ötürü 80. sayfasından sonra okumadım. Okumayın da. Gerek yok.

[Jen · Rating 4 out of 5]

Really appreciated this book. It provides an overview of anxiety and the eight types of anxiety disorders that children can experience. The COPE method is simple to follow and understand. I now have heaps of different strategies to try with my child. Special mention goes to the preschoolers section, as most anxiety books I've read do not deal with this age group. Many of the other strategies aimed at 6-10 year olds could also be modified to be applied to preschool age.

[Nazlı · Rating 5 out of 5]

İnsanın kendisine ve çevresine bakışını geliştirecek bir kitap. Okurken zevk aldım.

[LINDSEY M · Rating 4 out of 5]

Contains lots of good, practical ideas for helping your child manage their anxiety.

[Elisa · Rating 4 out of 5]

Went to a class and listened to a psychologist and he said this which I loved, basically summed up anxiety in a nutshell: "Anxiety: when you imagine that what's coming is worse.
Hope= when you imagine that what's coming is better"

And here are my Book notes: Your anxious child
By dacey, Mack and fiore

Behaviorist perspective:
Anxious children naturally wish to avoid situations that scare them, even more than other children do. When your child avoids such situations, her avoidance is reinforced because her frightened feelings are temporarily reduced. This only perpetuates the anxiety. Some parents feel that giving into the child's reluctance is appropriate and caring but this enables the child to avoid fearful situations and thus she fails to deal with the problem.
Another aspect of the behaviorist approach argues that children learn primarily through imitation and modeling. In modeling situations, parents behave calmly and competently in real or make believe scary scenarios. This shows the child a more effective reaction she might have. Over time she learns to adopt these modeled behaviors as her own and gradually she becomes less anxious. 16

Cognitive perspective: repressed feelings are the culprit. Distorted thinking causes disruptive feelings...fix the thoughts and the anxious feelings will subside. And children can learn to control their thoughts. For example, confronting unfamiliar situations is probably quite anxiety provoking. For some children, if it's new, it's dangerous....one way to make your child less likely to perceive situations as threatening is through cognitive restructuring. This treatment involves working with her to: 1) remove or reduce misinterpretations of reality 2) challenge faulty logic or irrational self statements 3) construct a way of looking at the world that includes adaptive coping strategies
C= calming the nervous system
O= originating an imaginative plan
P= persisting in the face of obstacles and failure
E= evaluating the plan

[Cary Neve · Rating 4 out of 5]

Being an anxiuos person myself I learned a lot about how to deal with myself and my poor anxious baby. If you have an anxious person inyour life, this is the book for you to read and to make you understand that person so you can be loving and patient.

[Jenny · Rating 3 out of 5]

Another very helpful book on anxiety in children, filled with activities and examples. I got some great ideas from this book.

[Rebekah · Rating 3 out of 5]

I like this because it has a ton of activities that you can do with children. It relies heavily on research, but it doesn't feel too technical. Useful.

[Michelle]

Not written for young children.