cw / tw: characters with mental disorders: self-blame, self-loath, depression, loneliness, trauma; detailed and gore description of murder, kidnapping.
This story is about a cheerful lady, Ara Elisya, a daughter of the flower shop owner, where she unintentionally crossed path with a person from her past that she has forgotten about, Iyan Naufal, a successful restaurant owner, and a partner to a celebrity, Aifa Hani. The two of these seperate individuals technically doesn't have anything to do in common, but after that first meeting, somehow Iyan kept on involved with the event of her life, up until an incident where Ara 'witnessed' Iyan covered in blood at her mother's murder scene, then things started to get unfold from that point on, from Ara's own background, and her past connection with Iyan. Little did she know, he actually held a larger secret that he has been held onto, regarding her background, as well as his true 'feelings' towards her. This is the story about secrets upon secrets, the interrelationships, and a lot of emotions involved overtime.
• The genre of the story is a crime investigation, murder mystery, suspense, action with love and romance. The larger part of the story held the theme of 'Cinta terlarang', not because of something 'scandalous', but it is due to the secrets from their past, the one that made Iyan suffered on his own for years on his own, the one that involved Ara's story on it. The overall concept of the story also focuses more towards 'emotions' and 'feelings' of each character, as it's also part of the main conflict in the tale. And do keep in mind that the title of the story: 'Aku di Sini', held a large meaning in the story and it correlates with the MCs.
Overall this is such a fantastical story I'd say. Initially I don't really know what to expect from the blurb itself plus with the cover of the book, I was only expecting pure romance with a sode of mystery, maybe? And to my surprise, it's crime investigation, well pull me in! The story telling was smooth and well written overall, the arrangements of the story and the retelling / flashbacks was well told as well. I'd like to mention that the reveal of truths throughout the story was mind boggling for me and the way it was well hidden, they truly surprised me and had me gasping all around! The conflicts was absolutely heart breaking and touching and I could really grasp what the characters were going through as well.
Putting aside the crimes and murder going on, one thing I'd love to mention is that, I actually had fun imagining the settings of the story! The restaurant or cafe full of handsome men reminded me full on of the manga / light novel Kaoru's Cake House, and their training facilities made me think of Divergent. Ah, I do wish to see more of them haha.
• Now, jumping onto the characters themselves, but first foremost I'd praise over how I genuinely like the idea of seperate individual stories between the two characters intertwined and connected with one another. It's well developed throughout the storyline. Apart from that I truly love is how in depth the author shows the level of Iyan's love and emotional suffering towards Ara was, as well as her feelings on the later part of the story, I've seen a lot of pinning trope before, but this probably is on top of the bizarrely painful one I'd say.
As most of the conflicts involved feelings and emotions of each characters I genuinely appreciate over how mature everyone was when going through it, some of the characters did take time to be aware of it, but I love how accepting they were when they were told off over their behaviour. Although sometimes they're quite frustrating, but it makes them 'humanlike'.
Regarding Ara, I simply love her character. This is a bit personal, but I just genuinely relate to her on very personal level, especially how she 'hide things' behind her lively and cheerful demeanor. And everytime when she apologises to everyone, it simply breaks my heart, and through this, we could see how far she live with internal on depth 'self-blame'. It's saddening and I wanted to give her a big hug. And the same could be said with Iyan, although he's more prominent, they both relate over that self-blame and self-loath. Overtime, everytime when his 'suffering' was mentioned and was shown even deeper, even as a reader, I feel even worse each time as well. I'm just glad things eventually goes well for both of them.
On the major side characters, their involvement in the story was quite balanced, and their role is also relevant through and through. Aifa's attachments, Dollah's absolute care, Rey's concern, Eidan's protectiveness, they're all very nice to see.
• The post conflicts, peleraian chapters by the end, it's simply lovely. After what we've seen and what both Iyan and Ara went through, how they used to harbour their feelings, the emotional suppression; the chapters felt like a breath of fresh air. How they finally able to show their true feelings and affection towards one another, together with their constant assurance, and seeing the sides they actually secretly had, I like it very much. Their way of showing affection was so cute, him tugging onto bits of her clothes, the 'cat', goodness it's just, really wholesome and, well, adorable.
• Despite all the good things, I do found a bit of cons in the story. Firstly, usually I'll just ignore it, but since this bothers me a lot throughout my reading so I'm going to point this out, I'm not sure if they were ever fixed, but my copy of the book is the first edition. So apparently there are a lot of grammar mistake on the usage of kata sendi nama dari / daripada and I couldn't simply look over it as most of the time as it was quite obvious and it was used repeatitively juak. Others wasn't as big, tapi ada a number of wrong spellings of words then ended up membawa maksud lain daripada yang sepatutnya, and ada lah on BI grammar as well (tapi honestly it was confusing juak, so I simply dismissed it).
Then there's an inconsistency on the story? On the part where Ara was surprised again over the fact that Aifa knew about her and Iyan's past connection, when she already knew that she knows about it? I thought I remembered incorrectly, but I went a couple chapters back and apparently it has been mentioned before and Ara was aware of it?
Don't know about others and how accurate things are, but I feel like the legal procedure on murder charges was a bit to easy, like, things could be dismissed fast, like someone died kot? And then this one though, I genuinely was taken aback sikit over how the medics didn't give the immediate attention toward the kidnapped person and even told them to back away too, like although someone else's needed more help, tapi macam, the person yang kenak kidnapped has been missing for days and malnourished kot, and does no one care about mental condition of a kidnapped person kah, like I feel so kesian on the post kidnapped scene and the emotional breakdown that happened during it aie, at least consolation from the people involved kah, show of care dikit bah haha, itok saya.
Regarding the antagonists though, considering they're part of the larger plot of the story, tapi somehow we barely know any of them and what exactly their background were. Not going to mention or spoil anyone so I'll just vaguely describe them; 1. The minor 'first half' antagonist, I wish their close relationship and their dynamics with the MC and the family were shown better so the betrayal would be felt even more deeply, and since they're barely ever mentioned early on, I literally forgot about their existence and suddenly they're the bad person haha. But I'd mention though, I really love how well the crimes described in the dialogues and how high their level of evil were, they do give me the heebie jeebies. 2. For the major 'later part' antagonist though, we technically doesn't know anything and how high their level of evilness, or even, what exactly is their business and how big was their influences were up that the point they're able to hide things they're doing more than half decade that no one was able to find any clues about their operation. The correlation with Lara and how she agrees with everything also wasn't explained much. And somehow the crimes done by the minor antagonist were elaborated more in detail compared to the bigger person and I found it a bit amusing, like of course it was hinted a bit here and there, plus that one killing, but barely anything on the larger scale, and I wished to see more of those personally.
This has been too long of a 'review', so that's all from me. Just overall, it's such a good story, an absolute page turner, and simply an enjoyable one! A recommendation for those that likes similar genre!