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Die Liebe zu den nicht perfekten Dingen
Sei glücklich – nicht perfekt!
Immer wieder verstellt unsere Suche nach Perfektion unseren Blick auf die Schönheit des Jetzt. Es sind gerade die kleinen, unperfekten Momente, die unser Leben zu etwas Besonderem machen. Nicht die Suche nach Perfektion, sondern die Suche nach den stillen, glücklichen Augenblicken sollte uns antreiben. Wenn es uns gelingt, den gegenwärtigen Moment mit Nachsicht und Liebe zu betrachten, können wir die Fülle und den Reichtum unseres Lebens wirklich spüren. Sei es die Erinnerung an die Liebe unserer Mutter, das Glück, unsere Kinder aufwachsen zu sehen – unsere Leben sind voller Quellen der Wärme und Freude. Nichts muss perfekt sein. Es muss echt sein.
Immer wieder verstellt unsere Suche nach Perfektion unseren Blick auf die Schönheit des Jetzt. Es sind gerade die kleinen, unperfekten Momente, die unser Leben zu etwas Besonderem machen. Nicht die Suche nach Perfektion, sondern die Suche nach den stillen, glücklichen Augenblicken sollte uns antreiben. Wenn es uns gelingt, den gegenwärtigen Moment mit Nachsicht und Liebe zu betrachten, können wir die Fülle und den Reichtum unseres Lebens wirklich spüren. Sei es die Erinnerung an die Liebe unserer Mutter, das Glück, unsere Kinder aufwachsen zu sehen – unsere Leben sind voller Quellen der Wärme und Freude. Nichts muss perfekt sein. Es muss echt sein.
304 pages, Hardcover
First published February 3, 2016
3007 people are currently reading
22164 people want to read
About the author
Haemin Sunim
12 books1,373 followersZen Buddhist teacher & bestselling author.
Born in South Korea and educated at Berkeley, Harvard, and Princeton, he received formal monastic training from Haein monastery, in South Korea. He taught Asian religions at Hampshire College in Massachusetts for seven years.
He is one of the most influential Zen monks in the world. His first book, The Things You Can See Only When You Slow Down has been translated into more than 35 languages and sold over four million copies.
His second book, Love for Imperfect Things was the number one bestseller of 2016 in South Korea and became available in multiple languages in 2019. Haemin resides in Seoul when not traveling to share his teachings.
Source: haeminsunim.com
Born in South Korea and educated at Berkeley, Harvard, and Princeton, he received formal monastic training from Haein monastery, in South Korea. He taught Asian religions at Hampshire College in Massachusetts for seven years.
He is one of the most influential Zen monks in the world. His first book, The Things You Can See Only When You Slow Down has been translated into more than 35 languages and sold over four million copies.
His second book, Love for Imperfect Things was the number one bestseller of 2016 in South Korea and became available in multiple languages in 2019. Haemin resides in Seoul when not traveling to share his teachings.
Source: haeminsunim.com
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 2,027 reviews
August 6, 2018
The loving voice we often long for in our crazy, mixed up lives is here in this comforting book. I will probably always flip back to different sections of this book whenever I need a bit of encouragement or love. ♥️
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June 8, 2019I think such books are considered self help books, and I'm going through these like drinking fresh water in a hot summer day; I love positive books about peace, meditation, mindfulness, and acceptance. I always feel sleepy after a few pages of such books, I think they make me feel a sort of peace I can't always achieve... in any case, the book is lovely, deep, and the illustrations are beautiful. I think blue is one of the prettiest colors.
May 25, 2020
I read in English but this review is in Bahasa Indonesia
Cocok dengan buku pertamanya, The Things You Can See Only When You Slow Down, aku memutuskan untuk membaca yang kedua. Selain itu, aku juga baru selesai membaca buku Brene Brown yang berjudul The Gifts of Imperfection. Rasanya masih saling berhubungan sebab membahas tentang menerima keberadaan diri alias self-love
Haemin Sunim selalu memulai setiap bab dengan sebuah kisah. Entah itu kisah tentang dirinya ataupun tentang orang lain. Dari kisah itu, baru kemudian Sunim memasukkan nasehat. Tidak pretensius, tidak tendensius. Juga bukan tipikal "sekadar mengingatkan." Sunim seperti tahu bagaimana membuat pembaca merenung sejenak dan memasukkan apa yang ia tulis ke dalam hati. Meresapi pesannya dan mencoba melihat lagi apakah hidupnya sudah seperti yang dianjurkan.
Dalam Love for Imperfection Things, Sunim menata setiap bab sesuai urutan sebaiknya kita menerima hidup. Diawali dengan bab tentang Self-Care dan ditutup dengan bab mengenai Acceptance. Begitu pula dengan tingkat kesulitan mempraktikkannya ke dalam kehidupan sehari-hari: semakin ke belakang akan terasa sulitnya. Tetapi itu mungkin adalah sebuah kenyataan yang harus diterima. Love for Imperfect Things tidak mudah, namun bukan berarti itu tidak mungkin untuk dilakukan, kan?
Aku tidak merasa digurui. Sama seperti dengan buku yang pertama, tulisan Sunim cocok denganku. Ia mencoba mengajak pembaca melihat dari sisi yang lain dari kekurangan kita. Apakah itu terletak pada pribadi atau cara kita mengatur komunikasi dan hubungan dengan orang lain. Hal-hal semacam itu, dibahas pula meski yang dititikberatkan adalah mengenai kepribadian.
Buku ini tergolong bacaan yang mudah dicerna. Tidak perlu memikirkan banyak hal, malah kalau bisa ketika membaca fokuskan pada tulisannya saja. Praktik bisa dilakukan setelah mencapai satu bab. Menurutku, itu cara yang cukup bijak untukbenar-benar memahami apa yang ditulis oleh Sunim.
Ahya, untuk yang buku ini, dilengkapi dengan ilustrasi cantik, lho! Menambah kesan hangat yang dihadirkan oleh Sunim.
What you are feeling is not something that should just be ignored, but something very significant. The feelings inside you will not easily disappear just because you decide to suppress or ignore them.
Cocok dengan buku pertamanya, The Things You Can See Only When You Slow Down, aku memutuskan untuk membaca yang kedua. Selain itu, aku juga baru selesai membaca buku Brene Brown yang berjudul The Gifts of Imperfection. Rasanya masih saling berhubungan sebab membahas tentang menerima keberadaan diri alias self-love
Haemin Sunim selalu memulai setiap bab dengan sebuah kisah. Entah itu kisah tentang dirinya ataupun tentang orang lain. Dari kisah itu, baru kemudian Sunim memasukkan nasehat. Tidak pretensius, tidak tendensius. Juga bukan tipikal "sekadar mengingatkan." Sunim seperti tahu bagaimana membuat pembaca merenung sejenak dan memasukkan apa yang ia tulis ke dalam hati. Meresapi pesannya dan mencoba melihat lagi apakah hidupnya sudah seperti yang dianjurkan.
Dalam Love for Imperfection Things, Sunim menata setiap bab sesuai urutan sebaiknya kita menerima hidup. Diawali dengan bab tentang Self-Care dan ditutup dengan bab mengenai Acceptance. Begitu pula dengan tingkat kesulitan mempraktikkannya ke dalam kehidupan sehari-hari: semakin ke belakang akan terasa sulitnya. Tetapi itu mungkin adalah sebuah kenyataan yang harus diterima. Love for Imperfect Things tidak mudah, namun bukan berarti itu tidak mungkin untuk dilakukan, kan?
You are a brave soul, choosing to grow through pain. I am rooting for you!
Aku tidak merasa digurui. Sama seperti dengan buku yang pertama, tulisan Sunim cocok denganku. Ia mencoba mengajak pembaca melihat dari sisi yang lain dari kekurangan kita. Apakah itu terletak pada pribadi atau cara kita mengatur komunikasi dan hubungan dengan orang lain. Hal-hal semacam itu, dibahas pula meski yang dititikberatkan adalah mengenai kepribadian.
Buku ini tergolong bacaan yang mudah dicerna. Tidak perlu memikirkan banyak hal, malah kalau bisa ketika membaca fokuskan pada tulisannya saja. Praktik bisa dilakukan setelah mencapai satu bab. Menurutku, itu cara yang cukup bijak untukbenar-benar memahami apa yang ditulis oleh Sunim.
Ahya, untuk yang buku ini, dilengkapi dengan ilustrasi cantik, lho! Menambah kesan hangat yang dihadirkan oleh Sunim.
February 13, 2019
This book is a banal trawl through the blindingly obvious. It restates stuff that, if you didn’t know already, means that you’re probably about 3 years old. So often did I find myself thinking, “No sh*t Sherlock” that I eventually gave up. Don’t buy this book. Instead, go for a haircut and engage the barber in a chat or take a taxi ride and raise some subjects with the driver. You’ll learn just as much and gain more value for your time and money.
January 16, 2019
If you are looking for a self-help book to start your New Years off right, this is the book for you. In a easy to read format, these verses will help you heal from negative thoughts. The chapters were broken down into different categories: Self-Care, Family, Empathy, Relationships, Courage, Healing, Enlightenment and Acceptance. It made me feel better to know that even a Buddhist monk struggled with depression and sadness. There were many passages that I wrote down to reference back to in the future. This was a great read.
~April
~April
October 2, 2020
This book became one of the most popular book in the bookstore, so i decided to gave it a try. I really needed self help book at the moment.
And as the author said, this book was indeed bring me some kind of peace in a time of difficulty.
I can relate everything in this book. Like when i was envying my friend because her life seems really good on social media, and here i am, tried to fix my messy life. But perhaps at some point, she also felt envy of me.
Also, the thing with being unattractive. I always hate my self because of that, and now i realise that the most attractive quality is the confidence itself.
“Before you go to sleep, recall three things you were thankful for today. Do this for two months and you will see an increase in your level of happiness.” This is really a good advice, and i will definitely try this tonight.
There are many good quotes in this book, i don’t think i can pick one as my most favorite. Maybe this “Even the person who looks like he has it all is living in a hell of his own. Remember that appearances aren’t everything.”
And as the author said, this book was indeed bring me some kind of peace in a time of difficulty.
I can relate everything in this book. Like when i was envying my friend because her life seems really good on social media, and here i am, tried to fix my messy life. But perhaps at some point, she also felt envy of me.
Also, the thing with being unattractive. I always hate my self because of that, and now i realise that the most attractive quality is the confidence itself.
“Before you go to sleep, recall three things you were thankful for today. Do this for two months and you will see an increase in your level of happiness.” This is really a good advice, and i will definitely try this tonight.
There are many good quotes in this book, i don’t think i can pick one as my most favorite. Maybe this “Even the person who looks like he has it all is living in a hell of his own. Remember that appearances aren’t everything.”
January 1, 2020
1 1/2 stars.
This book was a complete disappointment. It offers nothing but a few of the author's personal experiences interlarded with a bunch of random bromides and commonplace pieces of advice that most of us are already familiar with.
When I got to the following, I stopped: "Much domestic strife comes from the futile effort to interfere and sow discord: the wife, between her husband and his parents; the mother-in-law, between her son and his wife; the husband's sister, between her brother and his wife."
I gave it half a personal star because the book might possibly offer some helpful insights to someone somewhere. But on the whole, I wasted $24.00 and some time on this, to me, worse than worthless book, and I urge you not to follow my example.
This book was a complete disappointment. It offers nothing but a few of the author's personal experiences interlarded with a bunch of random bromides and commonplace pieces of advice that most of us are already familiar with.
When I got to the following, I stopped: "Much domestic strife comes from the futile effort to interfere and sow discord: the wife, between her husband and his parents; the mother-in-law, between her son and his wife; the husband's sister, between her brother and his wife."
I gave it half a personal star because the book might possibly offer some helpful insights to someone somewhere. But on the whole, I wasted $24.00 and some time on this, to me, worse than worthless book, and I urge you not to follow my example.
February 10, 2020
This book was surprisingly really good! I went into it without much expectation, and I actually got quite a bit out of it.
This book is full of practical day to day advice that you can actually apply.
Haemin Sunim is big on compassion and empathy. If you try your best to understand others, where they are coming from and to sympathize with them you can let go of fear, anger, resentment, and just be at peace with them.
Some themes in the book are about letting go, dealing with depression, hurt, anger, anxiety.
Learning how to meditate properly and what the benefits are for the mind. Daily practices to set your mind at ease and set it clear.
This is a book I would purchase and re-read ;) Marked as one of my fav self-help books.
This book is full of practical day to day advice that you can actually apply.
Haemin Sunim is big on compassion and empathy. If you try your best to understand others, where they are coming from and to sympathize with them you can let go of fear, anger, resentment, and just be at peace with them.
Some themes in the book are about letting go, dealing with depression, hurt, anger, anxiety.
Learning how to meditate properly and what the benefits are for the mind. Daily practices to set your mind at ease and set it clear.
This is a book I would purchase and re-read ;) Marked as one of my fav self-help books.
December 1, 2020
5/5
God, it's freaking awesome. Definitely better than his first book i've read.
Really really enjoyed it.
Haemin begins every chapter with a short story and then he lyrically conveys his suggestions or maybe just some chatters to us.
grateful
God, it's freaking awesome. Definitely better than his first book i've read.
Really really enjoyed it.
Haemin begins every chapter with a short story and then he lyrically conveys his suggestions or maybe just some chatters to us.
grateful
May 6, 2025
Pretty illustrations, but I'm disappointed in the lack of originality in the content.
July 25, 2025
I really enjoyed this. It gives plain-stated, thoughtful, compassionate observations on a whole range of challenges that almost all of us face.
June 10, 2020
I absolutely love this book. This book is better than the first one, I think. It likes a fountain; it heals your tiredness when you drink it. I am not a Buddhist but I feel that the teachings about spiritual are somehow similar to what I believe. This is one of my most favorite books. It helps me a lot and I hope I could act same like my knowledge. I really recommend it to everyone!
We are imperfect but so the world. We just need to accept it.
We are imperfect but so the world. We just need to accept it.
April 1, 2025
Actual rating: 3.5
Haemin Sunim's words drip with so much compassion and comfort that I understand why so many people find refuge and solace in his words. There's nothing particularly new or remarkable about the advice given here, but it still helps to be reminded of letting go of things we cannot control and allowing ourseves to feel our feelings. While I have mixed feelings on some of the sentiments here, I can't deny that I became quite introspective and refreshed while reading this book.
Haemin Sunim's words drip with so much compassion and comfort that I understand why so many people find refuge and solace in his words. There's nothing particularly new or remarkable about the advice given here, but it still helps to be reminded of letting go of things we cannot control and allowing ourseves to feel our feelings. While I have mixed feelings on some of the sentiments here, I can't deny that I became quite introspective and refreshed while reading this book.
January 19, 2019
Levenswijsheden zijn niet te koop - behalve in de vorm van twee boekjes van Haemin Sunim.
Ook deze staat weer vol met mooie overwegingen die je aan het denken kunnen zetten of een snaar kunnen raken. Niet ieder stukje doet evenveel met je - maar misschien betekent dat stukje net wel heel veel meer voor een ander, dat kan ik me heel goed voorstellen.
Ook weer zoeentje dat nu ik een idee heb van wat er in dit boekje staat, ik hem nog vaak open zal slaan voor een bepaalde passage of voor een steuntje in de rug op een bepaald gebied - erg fijn dat ze een beetje thematisch gebundeld zijn :)
De langere overwegingen hier spreken me minder aan dan in de vorige, maar wat ik mooier vind is dat er tekst bij/in de illustraties staat.
Net als bij de vorige vind ik de titel niet perfect - maar haha, ik zie nu pas wat ik daar doe (:
Dit boek gaat vooral over compassie, voor jezelf, mensen om je heen, dingen om je heen. Daar past op zich de titel goed bij, maar hij heeft net niet de juiste sfeer vind ik voor de dingen die je in dit boekje leest. Het is meer loslaten van drang naar perfectie, ofzo. Maar ik vind het moeilijk te verwoorden, ik ben Huemin niet ;)
Al met al een echte aanrader, om voor jezelf te kopen of om te schenken. Zeker voor hoe niet-duur ze zijn, als je dit geeft, weet je zeker dat je iets geeft waar iemand wat aan heeft. Al is het maar 1 fragment, het kan iets in gang zetten. Ook als je het aan jezelf geeft, dus!
Ook deze staat weer vol met mooie overwegingen die je aan het denken kunnen zetten of een snaar kunnen raken. Niet ieder stukje doet evenveel met je - maar misschien betekent dat stukje net wel heel veel meer voor een ander, dat kan ik me heel goed voorstellen.
Ook weer zoeentje dat nu ik een idee heb van wat er in dit boekje staat, ik hem nog vaak open zal slaan voor een bepaalde passage of voor een steuntje in de rug op een bepaald gebied - erg fijn dat ze een beetje thematisch gebundeld zijn :)
De langere overwegingen hier spreken me minder aan dan in de vorige, maar wat ik mooier vind is dat er tekst bij/in de illustraties staat.
Net als bij de vorige vind ik de titel niet perfect - maar haha, ik zie nu pas wat ik daar doe (:
Dit boek gaat vooral over compassie, voor jezelf, mensen om je heen, dingen om je heen. Daar past op zich de titel goed bij, maar hij heeft net niet de juiste sfeer vind ik voor de dingen die je in dit boekje leest. Het is meer loslaten van drang naar perfectie, ofzo. Maar ik vind het moeilijk te verwoorden, ik ben Huemin niet ;)
Al met al een echte aanrader, om voor jezelf te kopen of om te schenken. Zeker voor hoe niet-duur ze zijn, als je dit geeft, weet je zeker dat je iets geeft waar iemand wat aan heeft. Al is het maar 1 fragment, het kan iets in gang zetten. Ook als je het aan jezelf geeft, dus!
April 1, 2019
Có hai lý do chính mình nghĩ mọi người đều nên đọc sách này:
- Thứ nhất là nó được viết bởi đại đức Haemin, người đã được đào tạo về tôn giáo tại Mỹ mà lại là một người Hàn Quốc chính hiệu. Việc được học hành bài bản ở phương Tây cũng như không mai một giá trị sống phương Đông khiến cho tác giả có một cái nhìn tương đối bao quát về cuộc sống.
- Thứ hai là bản thân đại đức Haemin mở "Trường điều trị tâm hồn" nơi ông lắng nghe và giúp đỡ những người Hàn Quốc đang gặp khó khăn về tâm lý trong cuộc sống. Chính vì thế mà những câu chuyện trong sách rất gần gũi với người Việt Nam mình, kiểu như là đọc đâu cũng thấy phảng phất câu chuyện của chính mình trong đó.
Trong sách, sẽ không thấy có bóng dáng của một nhà sư giảng đạo, thuyết pháp hay dạy cách diệt khổ gì hết cả. Những câu chuyện, những lời khuyên của tác giả rất giản dị, chân thành, bao dung. Để mình được phép sai lầm, được ghét bỏ, được buồn khổ, được tổn thương, được hận thù... và cũng được quan sát chính những điều đó, mà tha thứ cho bản thân, cho mọi người.
- Thứ nhất là nó được viết bởi đại đức Haemin, người đã được đào tạo về tôn giáo tại Mỹ mà lại là một người Hàn Quốc chính hiệu. Việc được học hành bài bản ở phương Tây cũng như không mai một giá trị sống phương Đông khiến cho tác giả có một cái nhìn tương đối bao quát về cuộc sống.
- Thứ hai là bản thân đại đức Haemin mở "Trường điều trị tâm hồn" nơi ông lắng nghe và giúp đỡ những người Hàn Quốc đang gặp khó khăn về tâm lý trong cuộc sống. Chính vì thế mà những câu chuyện trong sách rất gần gũi với người Việt Nam mình, kiểu như là đọc đâu cũng thấy phảng phất câu chuyện của chính mình trong đó.
Trong sách, sẽ không thấy có bóng dáng của một nhà sư giảng đạo, thuyết pháp hay dạy cách diệt khổ gì hết cả. Những câu chuyện, những lời khuyên của tác giả rất giản dị, chân thành, bao dung. Để mình được phép sai lầm, được ghét bỏ, được buồn khổ, được tổn thương, được hận thù... và cũng được quan sát chính những điều đó, mà tha thứ cho bản thân, cho mọi người.
November 9, 2020
Pembenaran sekaligus quotes yang kusuka dari buku ini:
"Jika saya melihat buku yang ingin saya baca, saya akan langsung membelinya. Saya tidak harus langsung membacanya; selama buku itu berada di rak, saya pasti akan membacanya suatu hari nanti. Walaupun itu novel setebal pengganjal pintu, atau buku filosofi yang begitu rumit, akan tiba waktunya bagi saya untuk bisa membacanya"
"Jika saya melihat buku yang ingin saya baca, saya akan langsung membelinya. Saya tidak harus langsung membacanya; selama buku itu berada di rak, saya pasti akan membacanya suatu hari nanti. Walaupun itu novel setebal pengganjal pintu, atau buku filosofi yang begitu rumit, akan tiba waktunya bagi saya untuk bisa membacanya"
March 4, 2023
Kata-kata di buku ini sungguh menguatkan hati. Salah satu buku favoritku tahun ini. Terus, ilustrasinya cantik sekali. Jadi kepingin baca buku penulis yang lain (yang semoga ada diskonnya juga kayak aku dapetin buku HC ini).
January 23, 2019
2019 seems to be the year of the self-help book, and I’ve read a few so far this year, but Love For Imperfect Things is one of the best. I loved it.
I want to begin my review by saying something about the lovely quality of the way the hard-backed book is produced. The robust cover means that this is a book that will withstand years of use as readers dip in and out. What really enhances Love For Imperfect Things though, are the wonderful illustrations by Lisk Feng. They have a naive quality that enhances Haemin Sunim’s writing that has been so skilfully translated by Deborah Smith. In fact, the very first image in the book, of a seascape, made me feel instantly more relaxed and calm.
What works so effectively and affectingly in Love For Imperfect Things is the structure of the chapters. Haemin Sunim is unafraid to lay bare his own imperfections so that both he and the reader can learn, advance and find peace and acceptance. Each chapter opens with a personal account of events that have happened to Haemin Sunim and his responses to them, followed by brilliant advice presented in an almost poetic form. I loved both these approaches. The note to the author’s graduate school friend brought tears to my eyes and his chapter on Listening Is An Act of Love brought me up short. I simply don’t do enough active listening to those around me.
I genuinely felt taller and lighter after reading Love For Imperfect Things. So much of it resonated with me. In fact, I think, having read it right the way through once, I need to go back and reread Haemin Sunim’s words again and again as I believe I have much more to learn about myself and others. I never think I’m good enough in whatever I do, but Love For Imperfect Things has shown me I don’t need to be perfect. I just need to be me and accept myself as I am.
After I’ve read books I tend to pass them on, but Love For Imperfect Things is a keeper. I don’t want to part with it because it spoke to me heart and soul. Love For Imperfect Things is wise, accessible, humble and uplifting and I would urge others to read it too.
I want to begin my review by saying something about the lovely quality of the way the hard-backed book is produced. The robust cover means that this is a book that will withstand years of use as readers dip in and out. What really enhances Love For Imperfect Things though, are the wonderful illustrations by Lisk Feng. They have a naive quality that enhances Haemin Sunim’s writing that has been so skilfully translated by Deborah Smith. In fact, the very first image in the book, of a seascape, made me feel instantly more relaxed and calm.
What works so effectively and affectingly in Love For Imperfect Things is the structure of the chapters. Haemin Sunim is unafraid to lay bare his own imperfections so that both he and the reader can learn, advance and find peace and acceptance. Each chapter opens with a personal account of events that have happened to Haemin Sunim and his responses to them, followed by brilliant advice presented in an almost poetic form. I loved both these approaches. The note to the author’s graduate school friend brought tears to my eyes and his chapter on Listening Is An Act of Love brought me up short. I simply don’t do enough active listening to those around me.
I genuinely felt taller and lighter after reading Love For Imperfect Things. So much of it resonated with me. In fact, I think, having read it right the way through once, I need to go back and reread Haemin Sunim’s words again and again as I believe I have much more to learn about myself and others. I never think I’m good enough in whatever I do, but Love For Imperfect Things has shown me I don’t need to be perfect. I just need to be me and accept myself as I am.
After I’ve read books I tend to pass them on, but Love For Imperfect Things is a keeper. I don’t want to part with it because it spoke to me heart and soul. Love For Imperfect Things is wise, accessible, humble and uplifting and I would urge others to read it too.
May 19, 2020
Another masterpiece by Haemin Sunim! I read the first book three years ago at a difficult time of my life, and that book helped me in so many levels! The same can be said for this one. I started this few months ago while dealing with some personal difficulties. In the beginning, I was finding this book to be just okay, loved his peaceful way of writing nevertheless. But as the book progressed, the magic built on. At times, I felt like the words I read were the exact same words I needed to hear at that moment. Simple yet very powerful words. This is a book I will read multiple times no doubt. Because I feel that the truths expressed here are needed to be felt. And how we feel can change over time. And, I think, there are few things more joyful than experiencing my own truth and finding it syncing with teachings of humankind that has been passed on for a long time. This book brought me that kind of joy. :)
May 3, 2019
Just like his first book, this is a collection of essays, anecdotes and quotes. The book is split up in chapters that deal with one certain topic, such as acceptance, empathy and self-care.
I especially liked the anecdotes because they give an interesting view into the life of a buddhist monk, and it shows us that not everyone is perfect, not even Heamin Sunim!
In comparison to his other book, this one resonated a lot more with me, and I feel like the structure was better too. No 5 stars though because the structure was still a bit annoying to read, as like I said it is more of a collection of various essays, anecdotes and quotes than a book to read in one or two sittings (which is my preference).
I especially liked the anecdotes because they give an interesting view into the life of a buddhist monk, and it shows us that not everyone is perfect, not even Heamin Sunim!
In comparison to his other book, this one resonated a lot more with me, and I feel like the structure was better too. No 5 stars though because the structure was still a bit annoying to read, as like I said it is more of a collection of various essays, anecdotes and quotes than a book to read in one or two sittings (which is my preference).
Read
January 15, 2019The essays in this book are deceptively simple. They are not earth-shattering revelations, but instead are quiet, peaceful reflections on life and how best to live it, starting by accepting the most meaningful of “imperfect things,” ourselves. The short, poetic pearls of wisdom that follow each essay can be taken in all at once as quick reinforcing readings about the chapter, or each one might be considered on its own as a daily meditation. Either way, none are the koans and conundrums found in many books on Buddhist teachings, but I did find some to be oddly disturbing, which probably means they hit a nerve.
May 3, 2020
In the beginning, I didn't like as much as I liked the first book. The more I read, the more I loved it. It gives me so much peace and comprehension. Highly recommend it as I recommend the first book "Things you can see only when you slow down." 🙂
November 4, 2022
" Bản thân mình phải hạnh phúc thì mới có thể làm cho những người xung quanh hạnh phúc."
Mình có cảm tưởng như cuốn sách này viết giành cho mình luôn á
Rất biết ơn khi đọc được những quyển sách như này
Highly recommended !!!
Mình có cảm tưởng như cuốn sách này viết giành cho mình luôn á
Rất biết ơn khi đọc được những quyển sách như này
Highly recommended !!!
November 24, 2021
Soothing, calming, beautiful illustrations. Sunim Wrote it well, some parts of the book reminds me about the "Courage to be Disliked" book, like the interpersonal relationship, and few parenting tips, altough there are a bit repetitions, its okay to enjoy the book, and the best way to read is to read it slowly and absorb the soothing wisdom.
August 14, 2022
Где бы найти в себе столько рассудительности, как в этом монахе, когда я общаюсь со свой свекровью?
June 22, 2020
Setelah saya membaca buku "panduan-menerima-diri-dan -menemukan-pembenaran-ketika-kamu-tumbuh-menjadi-orang-yang-tidak-atau-sulit-memenuhi-standar-kesuksesan-masyarakat-dan-terancam-tak-dapat-tempat-dalam-sejarah" yang berjudul Goodbye, Things dan memberinya bintang yang agak lumayan, algoritma Goodreads merekomendasikan buku Haemin Sunim kepada saya. Sebagai biksu intelektual cum influencer Zen Budhisme, saya kira Haemin bisa melanjutkan pembahasan filosofis yang permukaannya disinggung buku Fumio Sasaki itu. Sehingga, ketika kemudian gagasan-gagasan Fumio banyak saya temukan juga di buku Haemin, itu tidak mengejutkan, malah kesenangan tersendiri, jujur saja.
Gagasan minimalis yang ditulis Fumio secara maksimalis dalam satu buku, misalnya, ditulis Haemin dengan jauh lebih minimalis dalam hanya enam baris berikut:
Kemiripan paling mencolok dari keduanya adalah cara mereka memandang waktu, kaitannya dengan emosi: masa lalu dan masa depan adalah sumber kecemasan, sedang masa kini adalah di mana kebahagiaan bisa dirasakan. Hanya ketika seseorang berhenti memedulikan masa lalu dan masa depan, dan fokus pada masa kini, maka ia merasakan kebahagiaan. Itulah kenapa meditasi vital dalam praktek zen.
Pikiran seseorang akan berada di masa kini selama ia fokus pada hal yang, secara fisik, berada di dekatnya, dan sepertinya tak ada yang lebih dekat ketimbang nafas.
Tulisan Haemin di buku ini terbagi dalam dua format: cerita yang mengantar di awal setiap bab dan kutipan-kutipan berisi petuah hidup. Sekalipun sepintas mirip buku-buku kumpulan kutipan populer, tulisan Haemin tidak memberi kesan dangkal. Sebaliknya, ia menawarkan empati yang begitu mudah menular. Kisah-kisahnya memang semacam muhasabah, tapi tidak murahan, walau saya tidak akan menyebutnya "nyastra" juga.
Cara Haemin menulis sangat personal dan sederhana sehingga saya nyaris tidak mengantisipasi akan ada emosi besar di sana. Narasi Haemin untuk memahami masalah orang-orang juga pada dasarnya klise: menarik ke masa lalu, terutama masa kecil. Menyebalkannya, itu efektif untuk menarik emosi.
Dengan menarik ke masa lalulah Haemin menjelaskan dengan empatik, bagaimana, misalnya, sahabatnya--yang ibunya dulu dianggap tak akan bisa membesarkan anak sukses--jadi terobsesi bekerja berlebihan sekalipun sudah sukses karena mengira hanya dengan cara itulah ia merasa hidupnya bernilai. Dan Haemin, dengan lebih empatik lagi, menenangkan sahabatnya dengan kalimat hal yang mungkin semua orang ingin mendengar itu diucapkan pada mereka: "Your existence is already enough."
Sebagaimana kasus di atas, pangkal masalah orang-orang yang diceritakan Haemin, nyaris selalu, adalah ketidakmampuan menghargai diri sendiri karena pengalaman yang menyakitkan. Karenanya, petuah-petuah di buku ini berurusan dengan cara-cara menerima diri sendiri.
Dari haiku, terutama, saya cenderung percaya bahwa para biksu memahami betul sumber kepedihan hati manusia. Membaca Haemin Sunim agak memperkuat kepercayaan saya yang landasannya tak teramat jelas itu. Sejujurnya saya menghitung berapa kali saya meneteskan air mata selama membaca buku ini, dan jumlahnya membuat saya malu menyebutkannya di sini.
Maka baik pula kita sudahi dengan bait favorit saya ini:
Oh iya, buku ini diterjemahkan Deborah Smith, yang juga menerjemahkan Han Kang.
Gagasan minimalis yang ditulis Fumio secara maksimalis dalam satu buku, misalnya, ditulis Haemin dengan jauh lebih minimalis dalam hanya enam baris berikut:
If you own several of the same thing,
keep only the one you like best, and give the others away.
If we have too many possessions,
we do not possess them; they possess us.
A clean space, with everything neat and tidy,
is the greatest luxury, setting our minds at ease.
Kemiripan paling mencolok dari keduanya adalah cara mereka memandang waktu, kaitannya dengan emosi: masa lalu dan masa depan adalah sumber kecemasan, sedang masa kini adalah di mana kebahagiaan bisa dirasakan. Hanya ketika seseorang berhenti memedulikan masa lalu dan masa depan, dan fokus pada masa kini, maka ia merasakan kebahagiaan. Itulah kenapa meditasi vital dalam praktek zen.
Breathing is an incredible time machine,
bringing our minds
from thoughts of the past or the future
back to the present moment.
Pikiran seseorang akan berada di masa kini selama ia fokus pada hal yang, secara fisik, berada di dekatnya, dan sepertinya tak ada yang lebih dekat ketimbang nafas.
Tulisan Haemin di buku ini terbagi dalam dua format: cerita yang mengantar di awal setiap bab dan kutipan-kutipan berisi petuah hidup. Sekalipun sepintas mirip buku-buku kumpulan kutipan populer, tulisan Haemin tidak memberi kesan dangkal. Sebaliknya, ia menawarkan empati yang begitu mudah menular. Kisah-kisahnya memang semacam muhasabah, tapi tidak murahan, walau saya tidak akan menyebutnya "nyastra" juga.
Cara Haemin menulis sangat personal dan sederhana sehingga saya nyaris tidak mengantisipasi akan ada emosi besar di sana. Narasi Haemin untuk memahami masalah orang-orang juga pada dasarnya klise: menarik ke masa lalu, terutama masa kecil. Menyebalkannya, itu efektif untuk menarik emosi.
Dengan menarik ke masa lalulah Haemin menjelaskan dengan empatik, bagaimana, misalnya, sahabatnya--yang ibunya dulu dianggap tak akan bisa membesarkan anak sukses--jadi terobsesi bekerja berlebihan sekalipun sudah sukses karena mengira hanya dengan cara itulah ia merasa hidupnya bernilai. Dan Haemin, dengan lebih empatik lagi, menenangkan sahabatnya dengan kalimat hal yang mungkin semua orang ingin mendengar itu diucapkan pada mereka: "Your existence is already enough."
Sebagaimana kasus di atas, pangkal masalah orang-orang yang diceritakan Haemin, nyaris selalu, adalah ketidakmampuan menghargai diri sendiri karena pengalaman yang menyakitkan. Karenanya, petuah-petuah di buku ini berurusan dengan cara-cara menerima diri sendiri.
Dari haiku, terutama, saya cenderung percaya bahwa para biksu memahami betul sumber kepedihan hati manusia. Membaca Haemin Sunim agak memperkuat kepercayaan saya yang landasannya tak teramat jelas itu. Sejujurnya saya menghitung berapa kali saya meneteskan air mata selama membaca buku ini, dan jumlahnya membuat saya malu menyebutkannya di sini.
Maka baik pula kita sudahi dengan bait favorit saya ini:
May my own pain open my heart
wide enough to embrace others in pain.
May my suffering become
an opportunity to connect with others who are suffering.
Oh iya, buku ini diterjemahkan Deborah Smith, yang juga menerjemahkan Han Kang.
March 5, 2022
Như một cuốn cẩm nang sống đúng, sống đẹp dành cho mọi người nhưng có lẽ các bạn trẻ sẽ tiếp nhận nó với tinh thần tươi mới và cởi mở hơn chăng? Phải chăng quãng thời gian du học ở Mỹ đã đem đến những cách biểu đạt ngắn gọn nhưng súc tích cho đại đức Hae Min? Không đề cập nhiều đến Phật giáo, cũng không dựa quá nhiều vào giáo lý đạo Phật, đại đức tập trung vào những mối quan hệ trong đời sống và cách hành xử sao cho tử tế, thiện lành trên cơ sở phân tích tâm lý. Hành trình gửi thông điệp khá giống với cuốn “Hiểu về trái tim” của thiền sư Minh Niệm nhưng về chiều sâu của diễn giải thì không thể sánh bằng. Mỗi ý niệm chính được gửi kèm một câu chuyện, sau đó là sự đúc kết một cách tóm lược, dễ hiểu. Tuy nhiên, không phải ý niệm nào cũng được diễn đạt thoát ý, đôi chỗ còn lấn cấn và lập lại.
Nếu đọc sách một lèo như kiểu đọc tiểu thuyết, ta nhất định sẽ chóng quên toàn bộ nội dung của nó vì nó na ná giống nhiều cuốn self help khác. Còn nếu xem đây là một cuốn từ điển lời hay ý đẹp để lần giở bất kỳ trang nào lúc rảnh rỗi thư thái thì đôi khi cũng có ích ít nhiều. Đại đức không hề trau chuốt về câu chữ, cũng không lên gân về tư duy. Có thể cách viết tối giản ấy phù hợp với nhịp sống hiện đại, dễ thực hành. Có điều, chiều sâu của biểu đạt không đủ mạnh nên năng lượng lan tỏa cũng không nhiều. Nhưng rõ ràng, đại đức rất tiến bộ, đúng mực và ham học hỏi. Chính vì vậy, những gì thầy truyền đạt hẳn cũng chân thành và đủ khiến người ta lắng nghe và ngẫm nghĩ. Khiêm tốn với bản thân, đề cao người khác luôn là trục chính xoay khắp quyển sách, đó cũng là một phần của từ bi.
Có lẽ điểm sáng nhất, tình cảm nhất và giác ngộ nhất mà tôi cảm nhận được là đoạn viết về Làng Mai và sư ông Thích Nhất Hạnh. Đó cũng là đoạn văn từ tốn nhất, chậm rãi nhất trong tất cả những tiết tấu nhanh gọn của toàn bộ quyển sách:
“Bầu trời bắt đầu nhuốm ánh hoàng hôn, một nhà sư người Việt Nam gõ lên tiếng chuông buổi tối vang khắp. Tôi có thể nghe rõ tiếng bước chân của những người tu hành tiến về pháp đường chuẩn bị cho giờ thiền tối. Dường như có một đóa hoa vừa nở bằng lòng biết ơn của toàn vũ trụ này “.
Và không thể không khen những bức tranh sơn dầu rất đẹp và ý nghĩa được in kèm để minh họa cho từng ý niệm của sách. Đôi khi hình ảnh còn hơn cả ngàn con chữ.
Nếu đọc sách một lèo như kiểu đọc tiểu thuyết, ta nhất định sẽ chóng quên toàn bộ nội dung của nó vì nó na ná giống nhiều cuốn self help khác. Còn nếu xem đây là một cuốn từ điển lời hay ý đẹp để lần giở bất kỳ trang nào lúc rảnh rỗi thư thái thì đôi khi cũng có ích ít nhiều. Đại đức không hề trau chuốt về câu chữ, cũng không lên gân về tư duy. Có thể cách viết tối giản ấy phù hợp với nhịp sống hiện đại, dễ thực hành. Có điều, chiều sâu của biểu đạt không đủ mạnh nên năng lượng lan tỏa cũng không nhiều. Nhưng rõ ràng, đại đức rất tiến bộ, đúng mực và ham học hỏi. Chính vì vậy, những gì thầy truyền đạt hẳn cũng chân thành và đủ khiến người ta lắng nghe và ngẫm nghĩ. Khiêm tốn với bản thân, đề cao người khác luôn là trục chính xoay khắp quyển sách, đó cũng là một phần của từ bi.
Có lẽ điểm sáng nhất, tình cảm nhất và giác ngộ nhất mà tôi cảm nhận được là đoạn viết về Làng Mai và sư ông Thích Nhất Hạnh. Đó cũng là đoạn văn từ tốn nhất, chậm rãi nhất trong tất cả những tiết tấu nhanh gọn của toàn bộ quyển sách:
“Bầu trời bắt đầu nhuốm ánh hoàng hôn, một nhà sư người Việt Nam gõ lên tiếng chuông buổi tối vang khắp. Tôi có thể nghe rõ tiếng bước chân của những người tu hành tiến về pháp đường chuẩn bị cho giờ thiền tối. Dường như có một đóa hoa vừa nở bằng lòng biết ơn của toàn vũ trụ này “.
Và không thể không khen những bức tranh sơn dầu rất đẹp và ý nghĩa được in kèm để minh họa cho từng ý niệm của sách. Đôi khi hình ảnh còn hơn cả ngàn con chữ.
June 13, 2020
I really love the book!! This is my third non-fiction/self-improvement books I read this year and I can say this is my #1 pick! Haemin Sunim's writing is very calming I can't even imagine how soothing it must be in the original script which is Korean (I don't think he published the Korean version, if he did I'd really love to read it, and in this book they put the translator name and also I can recognize that this writing isn't originally written in English, anywaaay-). I don't know what makes me really love this book, maybe because it speaks a lot of things that I agree of or simply because of how this book calms me in its own unique way (I swear it feels like my grandmother, as someone who has lived long enough to really understand life, is telling me a few pieces of advice and life lessons lol).
I don't want to compare this book to the other two because although all three of them offer me a way to have a peaceful mind but this one is totally different. The other two help me with what feels like an anger (?) from people who has survived the worst and this one sounds a lot like...well my grandmother.
Here is one of my favorite quotes:
"Prayer connects the path between head and heart. Ask humbly for help with what seems to be imposible at the moment."
((as a believer myself, that words stab right through my heart))
I don't want to compare this book to the other two because although all three of them offer me a way to have a peaceful mind but this one is totally different. The other two help me with what feels like an anger (?) from people who has survived the worst and this one sounds a lot like...well my grandmother.
Here is one of my favorite quotes:
"Prayer connects the path between head and heart. Ask humbly for help with what seems to be imposible at the moment."
((as a believer myself, that words stab right through my heart))
May 1, 2020
3.5/5
Đây là cuốn sách chữa lành. Và con người thì luôn cần chữa lành. Mình luôn tâm niệm rằng, chúng ta là giống loài yếu thế mang đầy những tổn thương, ta đem đến những tổn thương cho người khác và cũng ôm vào mình vô vàn những tổn thương.
But, lí do em nó bị khuyết 1 sao vì với mình, chữa lành là chưa đủ. Chỉ như liều thuốc an thần xoa dịu những tổn thương, cuộc sống cần cả những liều kháng sinh, những vacxin phòng chống. Đôi chỗ, Hae Min đặt ra vấn đề nhưng chỉ đơn giản là lấp liếm, che đậy bằng cái vạn trạng bí hiểm của hồn người.
Đôi khi đấy là chữa lành nhưng đôi khi đấy cũng là bao biện =))
Đây là cuốn sách chữa lành. Và con người thì luôn cần chữa lành. Mình luôn tâm niệm rằng, chúng ta là giống loài yếu thế mang đầy những tổn thương, ta đem đến những tổn thương cho người khác và cũng ôm vào mình vô vàn những tổn thương.
But, lí do em nó bị khuyết 1 sao vì với mình, chữa lành là chưa đủ. Chỉ như liều thuốc an thần xoa dịu những tổn thương, cuộc sống cần cả những liều kháng sinh, những vacxin phòng chống. Đôi chỗ, Hae Min đặt ra vấn đề nhưng chỉ đơn giản là lấp liếm, che đậy bằng cái vạn trạng bí hiểm của hồn người.
Đôi khi đấy là chữa lành nhưng đôi khi đấy cũng là bao biện =))
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