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I love him so totally, completely,
sometimes it threatens to overwhelm me.
Sometimes I think-
No. I won't write about that.
ALICIA
Alicia Berenson writes a diary as a release, an outlet - and to prove to her beloved husband that everything is fine. She can't bear the thought of worrying Gabriel, or causing him pain.
Until, late one evening, Alicia shoots Gabriel five times and then never speaks another word.
THEO
Forensic psychotherapist Theo Faber is convinced he can successfully treat Alicia, where all others have failed. Obsessed with investigating her crime, his discoveries suggest Alicia's silence goes far deeper than he first thought.
And if she speaks, would he want to hear the truth?
362 pages, ebook
First published February 5, 2019
“Please don’t let’s get dramatic.”
“Perhaps I’m imagining it. But I’m sensing something… Keep an eye on it. Any aggression or competitiveness interferes with the work. You two need to work with each other, not against each other.”
“But remember, with greater feeling comes greater danger.”
“Her silence was like a mirror—reflecting yourself back at you.”
~“Now I saw the truth. [She] hadn’t saved me—she wasn’t capable of saving anyone. She was no heroine to be admired—just a frightened, fucked-up girl, a cheating liar. This whole mythology of us that I had built up […] now collapsed in seconds—like a house of cards in a gust of wind.”
~“How was this possible? Had she been acting the whole time? Had she ever loved me?”
~“Why did she do it? How could she?”
“She was a statue; a Greek goddess come to life in my hands.” ~ “He looked like a Greek statue” ~ “the actress playing Alcestis looked like a Greek statue” ~ “my fate was already decided—like in a Greek tragedy” ~ “Casting herself as a tragic heroine”.

“Her white dress glowed ghostlike in the torchlight” ~ “I remember so much white everywhere: […] the white of her eyes, her teeth, her skin. I’d never known that skin could be so luminous, so translucent ; ivory white with occasional blue veins visible just beneath the surface, like threads of color in white marble. She was a statue.” ~ “strands of long red hair falling across bony shoulders, blue veins beneath the translucent skin”.
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As you will see, it’s an incredible story—of that there is no doubt.
Whether you believe it or not is up to you.
But let us not forget that while Alicia Berenson may be a murderer, she was also an artist.






“...we often mistake love for fireworks - for drama and dysfunction. But real love is very quiet, very still. It's boring, if seen from the perspective of high drama. Love is deep and calm - and constant.”