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Public Feelings & Other Acts
In his debut, Ray Shabir shines a spotlight to the realm of his adolescence, before facing the inevitable truth of growing up. In Public Feelings & Other Acts, a collection of theatrical range of works, Ray raises his glass in his own tribute of youth.
Public Feelings & Other Acts matures into a kaleidoscopic memoir. It opens up to the reader through a series of essays, poetries, proses, and other forms of writings. Completed with striking visuals that aids his storytelling, the author takes on his own personal accounts on growing up, from creativity to partying to loneliness to heartache. The book is a documentation of the author´s personal period of time, in order to reflect and acknowledge his own coming-of-age before moving forward. Written in a voice that is unapologetically personal yet critically distant at the same time, he makes his odyssey towards adulthood - unquestionably his own.
Public Feelings & Other Acts matures into a kaleidoscopic memoir. It opens up to the reader through a series of essays, poetries, proses, and other forms of writings. Completed with striking visuals that aids his storytelling, the author takes on his own personal accounts on growing up, from creativity to partying to loneliness to heartache. The book is a documentation of the author´s personal period of time, in order to reflect and acknowledge his own coming-of-age before moving forward. Written in a voice that is unapologetically personal yet critically distant at the same time, he makes his odyssey towards adulthood - unquestionably his own.
- GenresContemporaryAdult
256 pages, Paperback
First published September 3, 2018
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Displaying 1 - 17 of 17 reviews
April 27, 2019
YouTubers have started publishing their own autobiography since 2014. And Ray Shabir jumped in the bandwagon. I only knew Ray from his Instagram page. An internet personality who has an artsy feed. I was skeptical at first knowing he published this book. My thought was "Will it be meaningless like the YouTubers'?"
In Public Feelings, Ray Shabir told a story of chaotic dinner where rugs spilled with milk and pants burned, his take on loneliness, a raw tale with his lover, and his urban experience with New York. Readers are spoiled with visuals. Which genre should I label this book? It is not a collection of poems and I don't think it is a memoir either. Then I decided not to put any label on it. It should be left with its queerness.
Ray manifested his narcissistic-self in Public Feelings. It made me think, who can actually publish autobiography? Can anyone publish their own memoir? This is an era of digital youth where people would buy identity as entertainment. And Ray didn't want to miss the opportunity to monetize his persona. Young crowds are here for it. Books full of paragraphs are getting dry and books sugarcoated with visuals are the savior of this industry.
As I closed the last page of Public Feelings, my skepticism was answered. I fully enjoyed reading it. Ray Shabir is a creative genius. His eyes are able to capture the beauty of his 20s turmoil. The stories themselves feel cinematic to me. Public Feelings will inspire its reader to create and tell our own story.
In Public Feelings, Ray Shabir told a story of chaotic dinner where rugs spilled with milk and pants burned, his take on loneliness, a raw tale with his lover, and his urban experience with New York. Readers are spoiled with visuals. Which genre should I label this book? It is not a collection of poems and I don't think it is a memoir either. Then I decided not to put any label on it. It should be left with its queerness.
Ray manifested his narcissistic-self in Public Feelings. It made me think, who can actually publish autobiography? Can anyone publish their own memoir? This is an era of digital youth where people would buy identity as entertainment. And Ray didn't want to miss the opportunity to monetize his persona. Young crowds are here for it. Books full of paragraphs are getting dry and books sugarcoated with visuals are the savior of this industry.
As I closed the last page of Public Feelings, my skepticism was answered. I fully enjoyed reading it. Ray Shabir is a creative genius. His eyes are able to capture the beauty of his 20s turmoil. The stories themselves feel cinematic to me. Public Feelings will inspire its reader to create and tell our own story.
April 28, 2019
Public Feelings & Other Acts is Ray Shabir's debut book. Another reviewer on Goodreads called this book a "portable art gallery" and I think it was a correct assessment. This book is a combination of diary, short stories, scripts, photos and pictures, CV, and many more. It's exciting and colorful (adjectives that surprisingly go well with the theme of loneliness) and also well written.
A battle between my solitude and my loneliness always takes place when I feel most ignored. A common ground when both parties would collide, at a time where I feel like a stranger stuck in a strange place filled with strange people. Some days are better than others. When solitude would win the battle. But lately, the loneliness is winning more and more battles. If I am not to be mistaken, there exists the possibility of it winning the war. (pg. 205)
September 22, 2025
today, new york is present!
November 14, 2020
Saya tak tahu nama Ray Shabir sebelumnya--bahkan untuk tahu bahwa ia seorang YouTuber pun tidak. AKhir-akhir ini saya butuh membaca suatu hal yang ringan. Saya sangat kebingungan mengkategorikan buku ini sebagai apa, tapi setelah melihat secara seksama apa yang ditulis Shabir di dalamnya, saya yakin bahwa ini dapat dikategorikan sebagai oto-biografi, atau setidaknya memoar kehidupan Shabir di New York.
Judulnya memang begitu meyakinkan. Shabir menangkap berbagai macam keresahan masa remaja, existensial angst yang kerap dirasakan remaja yang mulai memasuki umur kepala dua. Public Feelings atau Perasaan Publik diharapkan Shabir sebagai usahanya merepresentasi "perasaan banyak orang", namun gagal.
Dikemas dengan (tidak) jujur, Shabir tak muluk-muluk mencoba mempertahankan gaya tulisan puitik atau sastrawi. Pada beberapa kesempatan tulisannya terkesan klise, tapi masih bisa kita nikmati. Beberapa bagian seperti menghantui kita: ada satu bab yang membuat kita berpikir apa value menjadi seorang manusia jika tidak bebas?
Perlu juga diketahui oleh Shabir sebenarnya, bahwa hampir semua perasaan ini tidak mencakup perasaan banyak orang. Public dalam judul tidak benar-benar Public. Apa yang dirasakan Shabir adalah kegundahan remaja middle-to-high-class, yang tentu tidak kita dapatkan di pembaca kelas menengah ke bawah. Tidak ada kegundahan dalam menentukan ingin menjadi apa ke depannya kalau besok saja tidak tahu mau makan apa.
Public Feelings adalah kemewahan yang dijual Shabir lewat perasaan alienasinya di negara tempat budaya pop meledak dan menyebar ke negara dunia ketiga.
Public Feelings adalah perasaan publik masyarakat kelas menengah ke atas. Penuh dengan kepalsuan, hedonistik, serta sifat-sifat glamor dari penulisnya yang dituangkan di sini. Ketidakmampuan Shabir untuk mencakup seluruh publik dalam Public Feelings barangkali dicover dengan tangkapan gambar yang disertakan di buku ini.
Tak salah kalau dikatakan bahwa buku ini adalah portable art-gallery. Kita bisa menikmati MoMA lewat tangkapan gambar Shabir, atau bagaimana Shabir berusaha memberikan foto-foto yang indah juga estetis. Lewat gambar-gambar ini, fokus saya untuk menikmati karya Shabir justru terbagi: terganggu dengan keglamoran kehidupannya yang ia sebut "perasaan publik" atau menikmati tiap gambar yang disediakan Shabir di dalamnya?
Tapi untuk sebuah memoar, setidaknya Shabir dapat menggambarkan dengan rinci perasaannya. Apartement Hunting adalah satu bagian favorit saya sejauh ini, karena menggambarkan dengan jelas kegamangannya di negara asing. Satu karya non-fiksi yang worth untuk dibaca, tapi tidak perlu diharapkan untuk bisa merasa relate dengan karya ini jika kamu bukan dari golongan menengah ke atas.
Judulnya memang begitu meyakinkan. Shabir menangkap berbagai macam keresahan masa remaja, existensial angst yang kerap dirasakan remaja yang mulai memasuki umur kepala dua. Public Feelings atau Perasaan Publik diharapkan Shabir sebagai usahanya merepresentasi "perasaan banyak orang", namun gagal.
Dikemas dengan (tidak) jujur, Shabir tak muluk-muluk mencoba mempertahankan gaya tulisan puitik atau sastrawi. Pada beberapa kesempatan tulisannya terkesan klise, tapi masih bisa kita nikmati. Beberapa bagian seperti menghantui kita: ada satu bab yang membuat kita berpikir apa value menjadi seorang manusia jika tidak bebas?
Perlu juga diketahui oleh Shabir sebenarnya, bahwa hampir semua perasaan ini tidak mencakup perasaan banyak orang. Public dalam judul tidak benar-benar Public. Apa yang dirasakan Shabir adalah kegundahan remaja middle-to-high-class, yang tentu tidak kita dapatkan di pembaca kelas menengah ke bawah. Tidak ada kegundahan dalam menentukan ingin menjadi apa ke depannya kalau besok saja tidak tahu mau makan apa.
Public Feelings adalah kemewahan yang dijual Shabir lewat perasaan alienasinya di negara tempat budaya pop meledak dan menyebar ke negara dunia ketiga.
Public Feelings adalah perasaan publik masyarakat kelas menengah ke atas. Penuh dengan kepalsuan, hedonistik, serta sifat-sifat glamor dari penulisnya yang dituangkan di sini. Ketidakmampuan Shabir untuk mencakup seluruh publik dalam Public Feelings barangkali dicover dengan tangkapan gambar yang disertakan di buku ini.
Tak salah kalau dikatakan bahwa buku ini adalah portable art-gallery. Kita bisa menikmati MoMA lewat tangkapan gambar Shabir, atau bagaimana Shabir berusaha memberikan foto-foto yang indah juga estetis. Lewat gambar-gambar ini, fokus saya untuk menikmati karya Shabir justru terbagi: terganggu dengan keglamoran kehidupannya yang ia sebut "perasaan publik" atau menikmati tiap gambar yang disediakan Shabir di dalamnya?
Tapi untuk sebuah memoar, setidaknya Shabir dapat menggambarkan dengan rinci perasaannya. Apartement Hunting adalah satu bagian favorit saya sejauh ini, karena menggambarkan dengan jelas kegamangannya di negara asing. Satu karya non-fiksi yang worth untuk dibaca, tapi tidak perlu diharapkan untuk bisa merasa relate dengan karya ini jika kamu bukan dari golongan menengah ke atas.
November 23, 2018
I’ve said this before and I’m going to say it again; this book is like a portable art gallery. I like going to art exhibitions and things alike so when I found this I was so thrilled I immediately bought it. The writing is okay, nothing too compelling but not boring either.
April 22, 2026
“As I am only certain of my own uncertainties, I am still trying to make this contribution to anyone who gives a shit, so may we try and figure it out altogether, in the other side of familiarity.”
“I do not know anthing about the sensations of complete happiness, but only of sensations.”
“Before there was anything, there was love.” Baptism, Sandro Botticelli, 1486.
“and then there was us. With our eyes. Our minds. Our hearts. It Amuses us. So we try to cope with it. to recreate it. to paint it. but we don’t get it, so we think in screams that brought us only to the garden.”
I feel like that there’s too many genres now, there’s too many endings and suffixes, too many isms that end something that we don’t really know how it began. There’s too many movements and now I’m too lazy to move, too tired to be moved. So, I’ll spend my time in apathy, as the anxiety of it all, bores the hell out of me.
and when we realized that the universe has been under CCTV- we will die in our state of undress & it will be famous.
the internet is a rabbit hole, and that is me putting it lightly. The whole thing is a world of instant gratification. Instant news, instant friends, instant pleasures. There is no one that has the exact same history as you. Both online and offline, everyone seemed to be building their own instant worlds that differ from one another. Most of the time, you don’t really see anyone else besides yourself inside. Most of the time, the algorithms are too strong, bringing you inside a mirror chamber of echoes.
“Does it actually do any good when you put your feelings out for the public?”
“Will they actually read it, or will they scoll past it? will any of their responses merit to any truths at all?”
“If I ask for help will someone instantly comes to my defense, while staying pure in their good intentions?”
“will my transmissions reverb back to me, or will it reach to a place beyond my own chamber of echoes?”
the earth will spit, the ocean will swallow, the sun will lick, we’ll cry in sorrow.
can you win to branch out the family tree? or will you lose and sleep in agony? if I live, I hope you’re there- to know if I worth more, alive.
If I die, I hope you care, and let me bleed on your clean skydive.
‘I hope you remain desirable, but never by the same flames twice”. “And when everything is on fire, I’ll call your name out”.
“I do not know anthing about the sensations of complete happiness, but only of sensations.”
“Before there was anything, there was love.” Baptism, Sandro Botticelli, 1486.
“and then there was us. With our eyes. Our minds. Our hearts. It Amuses us. So we try to cope with it. to recreate it. to paint it. but we don’t get it, so we think in screams that brought us only to the garden.”
I feel like that there’s too many genres now, there’s too many endings and suffixes, too many isms that end something that we don’t really know how it began. There’s too many movements and now I’m too lazy to move, too tired to be moved. So, I’ll spend my time in apathy, as the anxiety of it all, bores the hell out of me.
and when we realized that the universe has been under CCTV- we will die in our state of undress & it will be famous.
the internet is a rabbit hole, and that is me putting it lightly. The whole thing is a world of instant gratification. Instant news, instant friends, instant pleasures. There is no one that has the exact same history as you. Both online and offline, everyone seemed to be building their own instant worlds that differ from one another. Most of the time, you don’t really see anyone else besides yourself inside. Most of the time, the algorithms are too strong, bringing you inside a mirror chamber of echoes.
“Does it actually do any good when you put your feelings out for the public?”
“Will they actually read it, or will they scoll past it? will any of their responses merit to any truths at all?”
“If I ask for help will someone instantly comes to my defense, while staying pure in their good intentions?”
“will my transmissions reverb back to me, or will it reach to a place beyond my own chamber of echoes?”
the earth will spit, the ocean will swallow, the sun will lick, we’ll cry in sorrow.
can you win to branch out the family tree? or will you lose and sleep in agony? if I live, I hope you’re there- to know if I worth more, alive.
If I die, I hope you care, and let me bleed on your clean skydive.
‘I hope you remain desirable, but never by the same flames twice”. “And when everything is on fire, I’ll call your name out”.
January 9, 2022
When i was in middle school, the famous Hannah Baker who was told as a poet inspires me to write poems. I used to write poems or stories inspired by the glamour and exaggeration of American High Schools. One time, i accidentally delete everything like Grimes said. Traumatized of erasing a part of me accidentally, i started to use Twitter as a personal archive of these poems and sometimes even intrusive thoughts in a private account with 6 people i let in. Between these notes and private account i thought that, is it possible that im the only one who thought about this kind of personal archive?
I had turned 19 last month and before i was introduced to Ray Shabir, through this book, Carrie Bradshaw inspires me to write from the point of view of my feelings. Carrie is the main character from Sex and The City hit sitcom and she is a writer for a newspaper column. She inspires to stop putting my thought on private archive and to let it out. I never convinced myself to do that.
When i read the first pages of this book i thought to myself “This looks like the tweets or thoughts i had stored in my archive.” And as i read through, i see myself in his writing as i am too still writing weird things on my notes app. This book felt so raw and even tough i dont quite understand the poems that he wrote at the end i am being reminded that people might not understand all things i had written as it was only for me to understand.
This book came to me unexpected, literally. My friend gifted this as a birthday present and she said it wanted the book back in 2018. I dont have any recollection of the moment i said it but im glad she remembered it. Thank you Ray Shabir for reminding me i could write about my rawest feelings and that there could be someone out there who could relate or even helped by my writings like yours did to me. (I will get back to those poems in the future to try and understand it)
I had turned 19 last month and before i was introduced to Ray Shabir, through this book, Carrie Bradshaw inspires me to write from the point of view of my feelings. Carrie is the main character from Sex and The City hit sitcom and she is a writer for a newspaper column. She inspires to stop putting my thought on private archive and to let it out. I never convinced myself to do that.
When i read the first pages of this book i thought to myself “This looks like the tweets or thoughts i had stored in my archive.” And as i read through, i see myself in his writing as i am too still writing weird things on my notes app. This book felt so raw and even tough i dont quite understand the poems that he wrote at the end i am being reminded that people might not understand all things i had written as it was only for me to understand.
This book came to me unexpected, literally. My friend gifted this as a birthday present and she said it wanted the book back in 2018. I dont have any recollection of the moment i said it but im glad she remembered it. Thank you Ray Shabir for reminding me i could write about my rawest feelings and that there could be someone out there who could relate or even helped by my writings like yours did to me. (I will get back to those poems in the future to try and understand it)
February 16, 2019
I can't think found an Indonesian author with an uncommon idea. Intriguing visual course of action and determination bolster basic stories yet spare bitterness and fascinating impressions.
The choice of infrequent words to draw an irony and honesty situation in expressing ideas and feelings into a public feeling is great. Honestly, how can someone afford lots of amazing photograph and combine them with magical words and presentable layout. He is a genius!
The choice of infrequent words to draw an irony and honesty situation in expressing ideas and feelings into a public feeling is great. Honestly, how can someone afford lots of amazing photograph and combine them with magical words and presentable layout. He is a genius!
October 31, 2018
Public Feelings is honest and open. It's a whirlwind and (like I've said in my blurb) a tour de force. Though Ray's words are beautiful, it's the visual imagery that really packs each punch into the skin and muscle of the heart and body and allows them to solidify and linger. Everything inside PF is an adventure, and I eagerly await his next works.
June 18, 2022
I love this book, i could say that this book is such a printed museum. I love the vintage pics they put on the pages. Those were leaving a little bit of a mysterious impression yet aesthetic vibes. From all the contents of this book, i love the 10 centimeters and job interview ones because those ones were a written which i could relate to myself the most. It reflected my real-life.
October 1, 2018
Reminds me of Lena Dunham’s Not That Kind of Girl, Aziz Ansari’s Modern Romance and Alexa Chung’s It. Really cool graphics and pop culture references all over the pages
November 16, 2019
It was an okay read.
Cocok buat dijadikan ‘teman’ di coffee shop.
Cocok buat dijadikan ‘teman’ di coffee shop.
August 21, 2020
I love the way Ray Shabir expressed her feelings into this book. I love the visuals and the words. Totally an art!
December 25, 2020
Such an amazing book. I love how Ray could say it not only into words but also an act of art. The content the concept and how he serve it just perfectly splendid.
February 3, 2021
visually tempting, it’s like an art gallery
May 24, 2025
bingung mau review gimana, baca sendiri aja ya 😆
July 26, 2025
now i'm full of desires to fill the void this book has nonchalantly given it to me. that's the only words i can say.
but maybe in the future, i perhaps should read this book again in my late twenties, and perhaps someday to fill the last two stars for this book.
but maybe in the future, i perhaps should read this book again in my late twenties, and perhaps someday to fill the last two stars for this book.
Displaying 1 - 17 of 17 reviews