The Size of Everything

by Erin Cole, Jenna McCarthy

As the face of her eponymous couture bridal business, Erin Cole radiates refined elegance. But the designer’s glamorous lifestyle and sweeping success belie a childhood marked by profound dysfunction.

Raised on a steady diet of abuse, alcoholism, poverty, and death, no one would have expected Cole to go on to become a force in the fashion world. As a child, she often had no access to food; other times she was force-fed until she vomited. At home and at school, she was beaten, bullied and belittled. Her alcoholic parents alternately abused and ignored her. By the age of sixteen, she was living on her own.

The Size of Everything is Cole’s moving story and so much more. Equal parts heartbreaking and hilarious, it’s a love letter to her surviving siblings, a how-not-to-parent manual, a testament to the power of positivity, and proof that where you come from doesn’t have to determine where you can go. Above all, The Size of Everything offers a powerful message of hope to anyone who believes that impossibly rocky beginnings can’t have a happy ending.

Genres: Memoir, Nonfiction, Biography, Book Club, Fostering, Biography Memoir, Audiobook

329 pages, Kindle Edition

First published October 1, 2018

Reviews

[Jennifer ~ TarHeelReader · Rating 5 out of 5]

Have you ever read a story that made you sad and angry, but then, in the end, left you feeling completely inspired and uplifted? Oh, and it was a true story?

The Size of Everything is written by the person who actually lived it along with one of the funniest writers I've ever read (Jenna McCarthy), so there's humor in natural places. The Size of Everything is the story of couture bridal designer, Erin Cole's, childhood. You will be furious with her parents, confused by them, a whole mix of emotions.

But the rainbow is a big one here, and it's how Erin heals herself and where she goes when she "arrives." The Size of Everything has been compared to top inspiring memoirs like Educated and deservedly so.

If you are looking for an inspiring memoir, this is absolutely it.

I received a complimentary copy. All opinions are my own.

[Jessica (Odd and Bookish) · Rating 5 out of 5]

I received this book for free from the author in exchange for an honest review.

This was such an amazing but heartbreaking read!

This book is a memoir. It details Erin Cole’s childhood told through short vignettes. What she went through growing up was so sad and intense. When you’re reading it, you keep thinking that her situation might get better, but it doesn’t until the very end.

On the flip side, it was still inspiring. The fact that she was able to persevere and become successful is so incredible.



I really like how the book was written because it had a nice balance between the good and the bad. There were a lot of sad stories but also some more humorous ones. Additionally, I enjoyed the writing style. It was very easy to read and flowed nicely. Using a co-author seemed to help in that regard.

I also liked how honest the book was. It never felt like the author was ever overly harsh or exaggerating. Going back to the balancing aspect, she even highlights a few nice memories/incidents with some of the people who hurt her in the past (like her dad’s girlfriend). She showed her situation as truthfully as possible.

Lastly, I also loved that she included some of her mom’s journal entries throughout the book. It gave a glimpse into her mind and an overall better understanding of why her mom was the way she was. The inclusion of the letters also goes back to the honesty of the book.

All in all, this book broke my heart but was so worth reading. I hope she continues to tell her life story in another book.

[Jenna · Rating 5 out of 5]

I realize that as the co-author of this book my review probably means very little, but I'm not commenting on the writing in this case; I'm giving five solid stars to Erin Cole's incredible story. I'm applauding her courage, strength and unbreakable optimism in the face of abuse and adversity. I'm stating my wholehearted belief that reading about how Erin turned her life around using nothing but positivity and love and self-respect can and will inspire countless others to do the same. This story is true; it's heartbreaking and uplifting at the same time; it is everything. It was an honor to be able to tell it, and it is a gift to count Erin among my closest friends. Erin said from the beginning that if this book helped just one other person, the pain of revisiting her past would be worth it. Mission accomplished. I am a different person than I was when I began writing this with her. If you've ever felt hopeless or shamed or victimized or trapped by your circumstances, I beg you to read this book. You will not regret it.

[Jennifer Cole · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is Jenny Cole. I couldn't be more proud of my sister Erin if I tried!!! She took our story and turned it in to one of the most amazing books I have ever read. I can only hope that her book inspires anybody going through a similar situation too just know that there can be light at the end of their tunnel. That through the love of God and persistence in believing in one's self that they too can rise above their childhood and live an amazing life. I love you, Erin Cole!!! You rock my world every day!!!

[Isabella · Rating 5 out of 5]

Reading about your mom’s life is a little strange to be honest, but as I started getting through the chapters I could not put it down. Maybe my vote shouldn’t count because she is my amazing mom, but I think it’s important to write outside that knowledge. As a high school senior I honestly think this book would help a lot of the high school kids that could be possibly struggling with their own troubles at home. And while I was brought up to be emotionally aware of other kids feelings, I think overall that kids could learn so much about other kids that they see every day but have know idea that their home lives are awful. Although my mom and Aunt Jen have shared some stories about how they grew up, I really had no idea how tough it really was. Mom you are kind of a badass! Of course i love this book! come on people...... It’s my mom!

[Erin Cole]

I’m so grateful that Jenna Mccarthy agreed to tell my story! She is pure talent and I knew from the beginning I wanted her to write it! What a ride it has been with you Jenna! Thank you for telling it my way and keeping everything as authentic as humanly possible. Thank you for traveling deep into my world, and capturing the emotion of the child that lived this story. This has been a beautiful journey and I cannot wait until our next one!!!! Jenna you are forever my family!!! ❤️

[♏ Gina☽ · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is INTENSE. It merits all capital letters. The story is not easy to read, but the truth is laid bare as it should be. What the children in this story went through at the hands of their parents and step-parents is something no one should have to go through.

My father was a mean alcoholic. That being said, I was blessed with an angel of a mother, and my dad never abused me physically. It was all mental abuse, constant yelling, etc., but he never laid a hand on me. How I wish the author and her siblings had what I was blessed to have - a wonderful mother and a life free of physical abuse.

Erin not only survived, she overcame and she made a beautiful life for herself, despite the odds being piled high against that ever happening.

I thank her for bringing this neglect and abuse to light, and I am sure it is painful for her to talk about. I am currently writing about my life as the daughter of an alcoholic father, and I am finding it extremely healing. I have come to understand what drove my father to alcohol abuse, so I, at least, have that knowledge.

What drives an adult to make their children's lives a living hell? I do not buy the excuse "it happened to me so I didn't know better". No. I chose to stop the alcoholism. You have to decide that no one else will suffer the same way you have. In other words, the buck stops here. No excuses or blaming a past for current abuse.

I am proud of you Erin, beyond proud of you. My wish for you and all of your loved ones is that your future is filled with peace and love.

[Victoria Moss · Rating 5 out of 5]

Buy and read this book now!!! What a ride! This is the first memoir I’ve read in years that pulled me in and kept me there. I honestly read it in one sitting, and when I finished I felt like I lost a friend. I need more, stat. The chapters about Erin’s childhood in Southern California were spot on. I could feel the warm air in her hair as she rode her bike, the green grass under her feet as she danced in a neighbor’s yard, and the anxious excitement as she ventured out to a new school. The good memories made me smile, laugh and reminisce about my own path. Of course, the challenges and horrors she faced were just as vivid. The writing was concise and packed a punch, not relishing gory details but painting a clear picture of distress and pain. This woman has survived and thrived by harnessing an inner strength that very few possess. The ever- shifting family dynamics were heartbreaking and described in language that reveals Erin’s compassion for those who don’t really deserve it. Erin was born to survive and thrive. Her story teaches us all that we must take care of ourselves first in order to make it out alive. I can’t wait for the next book!

[Freesiab BookishReview · Rating 4 out of 5]

Thank you so much for a copy of this book for an honest review! A really emotional memoir. I love when you read about someone who struggled through the dark to the other side. A remarkable story and an engrossing one! You won’t be able to put this memoir down. It’s brave to share your story, so thank you to everyone that does!

[Elizabeth · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is one of the most incredible stories of triumph and love and what comes from believing in one's self I've ever read. I cannot recommend it highly enough!

[Kailee Groscost · Rating 5 out of 5]

I had to write a review before I even finished the book because I could not wait to share with others what an amazing, heart-wrenching, and glorious story Erin Cole wrote. I am half way done, and I read 125 pages in one day because I could not stop. I am lucky enough to have met the beautiful and talented Erin Cole, and would never in my wildest dreams imagine all of the things that she has been through. Not only is she a loving, caring, and compassionate woman. She is successful, talented, and a great mother despite all of her challenging circumstances growing up. This book is so creatively written it will inspire anyone to face their circumstances, and come out on top. This is not your ordinary triumph story. This is down to the core real, humorous, and all around beautiful. I cannot wait to post another review once I am done with the entire book. Too soon to ask for another book and an autograph Erin??????

[Jacquie Kazemzadeh · Rating 5 out of 5]

What an incredible read!!!

This memoir captivated my attention from the first chapter to the last! It was funny, sad, fascinating, and written so incredibly good. Throughout the whole book, and chapter by chapter, I kept on wanting and hoping for something to finally to go her way because I felt so bad for this child.....

What an incredible ending.....<3

Highly recommend reading this when you have time, because you will not want to put it down!

[Jen Davis · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow! That’s the word I have to describe everything about this book! Wow, how transparent Erin was with everything that she went through! Wow, that she recalled such detail I could picture myself as a fly on the walls of all the houses. Wow, she was brave enough to write it all out and share it with the world. Wow, to come out on the other end of her childhood as an adult who is wildly successful and confident. Wow, that’s about the size of everything.

[Heather Kellis-Young · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was fortunate enough to get an early copy of this remarkable book. The thing about this book is that you can feel how much Erin truly loved her parents no matter how they treated her. There were times I was brought to tears and then would start laughing. I loved the humor in this deeply moving memoir.

[Mindy · Rating 5 out of 5]

"I was five the first time I slept outside alone." This is the first sentence of Erin Cole's powerful new memoir, coauthored by the very talented Jenna McCarthy. This story is heartbreaking and life affirming. It's a testament to the unlimited power of the human spirit. Do yourself a favor and grab a copy of this book!

[Michelle Woodward Wagner · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was incredible, reading it brought back memories from my childhood and past.
The author tells her story which helps me realize, it wasn’t my fault what happened to me as a child. Thanks for having the courage to show that no matter what we are survivors.

[Julie Lanphear · Rating 5 out of 5]

In this vulnerable memoir, co-author Erin Cole teaches the unfair world about dignity and quiet strength wrapped in the arms of a gentle and yet micheviousious spirit. Instead of playing the victim, Cole provides her readers with hope, encourgement, laughter and raw truth. Further more, Cole teaches her readers the valuable lesson that sometimes the biggest setbacks in life can launch the biggest comebacks. The Size of Everything is the best book you will read all year and the valuable lessons, raw truth and inspiration will leave a forever lasting impression on your heart and mind.

Julie A. Lanphear
Educator and Child Advocate

[Eileen · Rating 5 out of 5]

Like Educated and The Glass Castle, The Size of Everything is a story of a remarkable young woman raised in the most dire of circumstances. As painful as the story can be to read at times, there's also plenty of humor (thank you, Jenna McCarthy!) and loads of warmth. You can see and hear the characters and see the setting, everything is so well developed. You'll have a love/hate relationship with Erin's story - as you should - but you'll absolutely love reading the book.

[HG Thomson · Rating 5 out of 5]

I had a chance to read an early copy of this memoir and could not put it down. This book will take you on the ride of your life with emotional ups and downs steering you in directions you couldn’t have imagined, then hugging it out with chapters of hilarious memories. Five stars does not cover how I feel about this book!!!!

[A A Flanagan · Rating 5 out of 5]

Erin is an amazing person with an amazing story! The challenges she faced as a child and young adult were both heart-breaking and fascinating. I cheered her on every step of the way! She is a beautiful person and a wonderful example of not letting your past define you. I can’t wait to hear the rest of her story!

[Dhaman Gill · Rating 5 out of 5]

Highly recommend

[Loni Struck · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book inspired me and has helped me deal with my own troubled past Thank you Erin and Jenna.

[Sean Boulger · Rating 1 out of 5]

A true chore to get through, this book's genuinely inspirational message is unfortunately diluted by self-indulgence, the whole thing feeling badly in need an editor to shave off about 150 pages' worth of stories in which the author does little more than simply be a little girl. There are moments of inspiration, and the author's overall trajectory is certainly compelling and inspiring, but much of this book's potential power is lost in its amateurish retelling, its structure hamstrung by stories that clearly did not warrant inclusion, its page count running far beyond the material's ability to remain compelling. As such, this book starts to feel like a slog at around the halfway point.

It doesn't help that the author all but refuses to make herself anything less than infallible. She is unquestionably a victim here (in a way that begins to feel an overkill, prompting the reader to wonder just how truly cartoonish this parade of monstrously abusive Orange County adults could have actually been), but also insists upon maintaining her own moral superiority throughout the book, at just about all costs. True mistakes (the kind from which one might learn valuable and painful lessons) are almost never made, and the author seems clearly uninterested in portraying herself as anything other than a constant victim, and one with interest in little beyond simply Doing the Right Thing, to boot. The unwillingness to admit to even the most basic of adolescent misbehavior only serves to make this book feel that much more self-indulgent, and this isn't helped by the fact that the author takes care to mention her abstinence from anything that might be construed as even remotely "immoral," such as sex or marijuana, expecting readers to believe that she'd have the temerity to do something like steal a ton of pot from her step mother, but then also possess the upstanding morality to refuse to smoke literally any of it.

This certainly isn't to say that The Size of Everything would have benefitted from an author who seemed to "deserve" her abuse in some way (nobody ever, EVER deserves what Erin went through in this book), but a more honest portrayal of a well-rounded, real kid — one willing to make mistakes and get into trouble as literally every kid does — would have made this story that much more compelling. The author's willingness to be more open with the portrayal of her younger self would have perhaps presented readers with a more compelling and complex anchor point, without diminishing the horrors of the abuse visited on her by the adults in her life.

Instead, the author critically fails to examine herself in any meaningful way: It's a foregone conclusion, throughout the entire book, that Erin Cole is a Good Person with Proper Motivations. Instead, she examines the parade of terrible behavior around her, simply marveling at how she remained so improbably fantastic despite it all. As such, The Size of Everything often feels more self-congratulatory than it does inspirational.

[Denise Mullins · Rating 1 out of 5]

I guess after Christina Crawford's "Mommy Dearest", detailing her dysfunctional life, it's become an ongoing battle of one-upmanship in the literary world to claim the sickest upbringing in a genre that wallows in "sturm und drang". Well, Erin Cole seems determined to earn that dubious distinction with her memoir that consists of a relentless series of two-page episodes in which her mom, step-dad, father, step-mom, and assorted neighbors relentlessly physically, emotionally, and mentally abuse her. Yes, it all gets numbing quite quickly, but as the book progresses, it also becomes obvious that Erin reveals her own penchant for selective amnesia, hyperbole, and unreliable narration.
It's difficult to understand the reviewers who found her prose so brilliant when each choppy vignette is described in a narrative voice that lacks dimension or cohesion. And it's even more ponderous to think that she'd expect readers to be gullible enough to find so many of her outrageous recollections believable. I've never been big on the fantasy genre and clearly, this book seems to fit that category more appropriately.

[Heidi Brydon · Rating 5 out of 5]

AMAZING, AMAZING, AMAZING! Full disclosure, I already loved the writer Jenna McCarthy, because she's hilarious so I was a fan.

But I was in no way prepared for this super intense, super INSPIRING memoir that she co-authored with Erin Cole. This is a great book about a MESSED UP family and boy is that ever an understatement. But here's where it gets inspiring, this Erin Cole girl cannot be defeated. And I just simply couldn't put the book down. I'm more of a fiction reader than a memoir reader, but in this memoir, life just served up the most ridiculous plot twists, but Erin somehow doesn't just survive all of it, she freaking THRIVES all of it.

If you ever wanted to be grateful for your crazy family, read this, because trust me, your family has nothing on Erin Cole's family.

Also, it was genuinely funny. Not so much in what happens (not funny) but in how Erin processed all of it.

YOU HAVE TO READ THIS BOOK!

[Geanda Guidry · Rating 4 out of 5]

The memoir "The Size of Everything" is a very emotional and insightful read. Personally, I enjoyed it; however, the story was difficult to read.
Quotes such as "...there was talk of a tumor. I had no idea what a tumor was, but his was big and it was making my mom cry all the time. She had two moods: grief and hostility. The latter frequently felt directed at me... I felt confused and alone, and the anxiety that was always there inside me grew..." reveal that Erin's story is comprised of emotional hurt and her being kept in the dark about most things.
I think people should read it, because it's a common thing that children and people are kept ignorant to important situations by their superiors or caretakers. This book shows the effects that has and how stifling it feels to not know things.
In fact, I have felt that way many times. "The Size of Everything" provides stories that others can relate to, as well as gives inspiration to go on despite traumatic situations.
(176 words)

[Kate · Rating 2 out of 5]

I found this rather self-serving. Let the back cover copy explain: “As the face of her eponymous couture bridal business, Erin Cole radiates refined elegance. But the designer’s glamorous lifestyle...”

Overall, this was an incredibly depressing series of rememberances of a terrible childhood. The flat writing offers little and the overall result ends up reading like an eighth-grader’s diary minus any type of meaningful introspection. This story could had benefited from a strong editor who could have crafted it into a more meaningful narrative.

And even though the back cover describes the book as “equal parts heartbreaking and hilarious” I cannot recall a single sentence that was anywhere close to being funny. Altogether, it’s a cobbled together account of various instances in a very tragic childhood. I commend Ms. Cole for her achievements after enduring and surviving such an awful childhood but I’m sorry I don’t have much admiration for the way her story was written.

[Meadow Lea · Rating 5 out of 5]

I made it through this book without a tear, until the very end. Knowing that Erin has survived such brutal conditions and came out on top of it all, is enough to bring tears to the eyes. To know that she fought hard for survival and fought hard for her success, brings happiness to my heart. She deserves it and so much more. The years of abuse that she endured by both sets of parents, is horrible. She broke her cycle of abuse, and that is strength.

[Kim · Rating 3 out of 5]

Interesting. No great work of literature...

[Adrienne · Rating 5 out of 5]

A story that lives on in my heart

First the disclaimer, I am not related to Jenna McCarthy. Now I don’t generally read Life Stories - I’m a fiction girl. But I’ve read a few of Jenna’s books, so thought I’d give it a try. Well. It’s mesmerizing and heartbreaking and uplifting and amazing and all the “ings”. Erin Cole is STRONG. As I read, it stayed with me as I moved through my days. I’ve wanted to just wrap Erin’s small self in my arms a hundred times. Her co-author, Jenna McCarthy’s talent with bringing this to life without it becoming too much, is incredible. I recommend this book wholeheartedly.