Mother Ship

by Francesca Segal

‘Heart-wrenching, heart-warming and heartfelt – Mother Ship is a beautifully crafted, warts-and-all love letter to our wonderful NHS’ Adam Kay, author of This is Going to Hurt

‘Our greatest gift to one another is this: each woman here has been swept out by a riptide, pulled far from the current of normal motherhood. Apart and all together in this space, our odd craft, we are drawn back into the folds of the unremarkable.’

After her identical twin girls were born ten weeks prematurely, Francesca Segal finds herself sitting vigil in the ‘mother ship’ of neonatal intensive care, all romantic expectations of new parenthood obliterated. Her gripping diary of those months combines the tenderness of a love poem with the compulsive pace of a thriller. As each day brings a fresh challenge for her and her babies, Francesca makes a temporary life among a band of mothers who are vivid, fearless, and inspiring, taking care not only of their children but of one another.

MOTHER SHIP is an intimate, raucous, sublime and electrifying memoir. It is a hymn to the sustaining power of women’s friendship, and a loving celebration of the two small girls – and their mother – who defy the odds.

Genres: Memoir, Nonfiction, Parenting, Medical, Biography

288 pages, Hardcover

First published May 6, 2019

About the author

Winner of the 2012 Costa Prize for First Fiction.
Winner of the 2012 National Jewish Book Award for Fiction
Winner of the 2013 Sami Rohr Prize
Winner of the 2013 Premio Letterario Edoardo Kihlgren Opera Prima in Milan
Winner of the 2013 Harold U. Ribalow Prize

Long-listed for the 2013 Women's Prize for Fiction

Francesca Segal is an award-winning writer and journalist. Her work has appeared in Granta, the Guardian, the Financial Times, and both American and British Vogue, amongst others. She has been a features writer at Tatler, and for three years wrote the Debut Fiction column in the Observer.

Reviews

[Louise Wilson · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book follows Francesca, her husband and her newborn baby twins journey. From their delivery until they are eventually allowed to go home. The twins were born ten weeks premature and had to fight for survival. She tells us about the relationships she forms in the special baby care unit. I have never had twins but I have had two of my babies in the new natal ward. Mines were full term and that was worry enough. I can't imagine the worry and stress it must have took, hoping and praying that your twin baby daughters survive. This is a beautifully written book.

I would like to thank NetGalley, Random House UK, Vintage Publishing and the author Francesca Segal for my ARC in exchange for an honest review.

[Rebecca · Rating 4 out of 5]

I’m a big fan of Segal’s novels, especially The Innocents, one of the loveliest debut novels of the last decade, so I was delighted to hear she was coming out with a health-themed memoir about giving birth to premature twins. Mother Ship is a visceral diary of the first eight weeks in the lives of her daughters, who were born by Caesarean section at 29 weeks in October 2015 and spent the next two months in the NICU, “an extremely well-funded prison or perhaps more accurately a high-tech zoo.”

Segal strives to come to terms with this unnatural start to motherhood. “Taking my unready daughters from within me felt not like a birth but an evisceration,” she writes; “my children do not appear to require mothering. Instead they need sophisticated medical intervention.” She describes with tender precision the feeling of being torn: between the second novel she’d been in the middle of writing and the all-consuming nature of early parenthood; and between her two girls (known for much of the book as “A-lette” and “B-lette”), who are at one point separated in different hospitals.

As well as portraying her own state of mind, Segal crafts twinkly pen portraits of the others she encountered in the NICU, including the staff but especially her fellow preemie mums, who met in a “milking shed” where they pumped breast milk for the babies they were so afraid of losing that they resisted naming. (Though it was touch and go for a while, A-lette and B-lette finally earned the names Raffaella and Celeste and came home safely.) Female friendship is a subsidiary theme in this exploration of desperate love and helplessness. The layman’s look at the inside workings of medicine would have made this one of my current few favorites for next year’s Wellcome Book Prize (which, alas, is on hiatus). After encountering some unpleasant negativity about the NHS in a recent read, I was relieved to find that Segal’s outlook is pure gratitude.

Originally published on my blog, Bookish Beck.

[SueKich · Rating 5 out of 5]

“Our greatest gifts”

This is Francesca Segal’s beautifully written and very touching account of her experience of having premature twin baby girls, born ten weeks early. When she first sees them “They are the furthest from me, and the furthest from one another that that have ever been. I do not recognise them. They are otherworldly in their strangeness, and oceanic in their beauty. They are half-beings in the half-light and in an instant my heart shatters, and I become half a mother, twice.”

And when Francesca finally gets to hold them: “…while I am holding one, the other is without me.” How vividly I remember this bittersweet feeling. Mother Ship is a personal story for me having undergone a similar experience some years ago and my empathy was fully engaged throughout. I thank my lucky stars that I didn’t have to endure quite so many difficulties as this brave family.

Huge plot spoiler: do not read unless you want to know the outcome.

The tiny babies are termed A-lette and B-lette for most of the book (until such time as Francesca and her husband Gabe felt secure enough to give them their names) and we leave them as they depart for home. The author pays huge tribute to the medical care and nursing from the NHS and also to the group of new mothers who bond in the NICU’s ‘milking shed’. I must admit I’m a complete sucker for a happy ending and I wept buckets.

My thanks to Chatto & Windus for the review copy courtesy of NetGalley.

[Rebecca · Rating 5 out of 5]

Not sure that my review is indicative of how someone without personal experience of nicu and prematurity would rate this book, but I absolutely loved it. So relatable and she puts into beautiful words things I have felt but could never articulate so well. Made me laugh and cry, and feel seen.

[Barbara W · Rating 5 out of 5]

As always, I've forgotten why this book ended up on my tbr list but I'm glad it did. A lovely book. Looking forward to reading something else by Francesca Segal.

[Alice Wagstaff-Sherwood · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is so beautifully written and wonderfully narrated by the author on Audible.

[Susan Hampson · Rating 5 out of 5]

Once I knew that I was pregnant I was overwhelmed with thoughts of those early days with my baby, only briefly letting dark thoughts of ‘what ifs’ into my mind before dismissing them because those things only happen to other people. For some mothers, those dark thoughts become a reality when things go terribly wrong. This is the author’s personal journey when that happens to her, her husband and their newly born premature twin girls.
Written from the heart, this is a truly intimate daily journey from the moment the tiny babies are born, with skin so delicate that they can’t have clothes on or be held by their mummy and daddy. The girls, without names yet are transported to the neo-natal unit for intensive care, The Mothership, where a small community of likewise parents find comfort and hope in each other.
Every new day and night brings new challenges, heartache and celebrations as I felt privileged to get to know the other mums that kept vigil by their babies sides, they were closer than family because you had to experience this to really understand. I felt anxious and fearful for these tiny babies with an incredible will to survive the odds.
The writing feels raw with emotion, nothing held back, so many times I prayed for all these children although I knew that the time had gone already, their fate had already happened. The author praises the wonderful dedicated teams of doctors and nurses that care for the babies and rightly so. There is a very brief part of the book where the author mentions the cost of such care and just how lucky we are and I totally agree.
I felt really privileged to share the author and others journey at what must have been a terrifying time. I wish to thank NetGalley for an e-copy of this book which I have reviewed honestly.

[Rosie · Rating 5 out of 5]

this was beautiful, so tender and delicately written whilst also being full to the brim of hope and warmth. i genuinely think this will be a very formative text on mothering for me.

i read it years ago but the experience of reading this made me want to reread when breath becomes air, so that could be next !!

[Greta Tishenko · Rating 5 out of 5]

Just under 5 starts, but still really-really good. I was drawn to the story from the very beginning and basically binge-read the book. Brilliantly touching and honest read for people without children and, I guess, parents too.

[Suzi Sherriffs · Rating 5 out of 5]

My goodness. What a book.

[Maria · Rating 4 out of 5]

I am grateful to #netgalley for this copy, which I was given in exchange for an honest review.

Mother Ship by Francesca Segal (2019)

In an early October day British author Francesca Segal, 30 weeks pregnant, started bleeding. As denial kicked in, Segal convinced herself it was going to be ok, not realising she was about to give birth, far too early, to identical twin girls. Twin A and twin B.

This moving memoir on prematurity & the complicated journey parents go through in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU) spoke to me on many levels. There have been premature babies in my family & friendship circle. I’m also aware- through my work- of the long term complications prematurity may lead to- especially extreme prematurity. This is a tough beginning to parenthood that hasn’t been given enough attention.

This is a welcome addition to the parenthood literature, exploring a corner of the experience left in the dark. Segal describes the alienating distance between mother & babies when they’re placed in incubators, with tubes & machines all around:
“They are the furthest from me, and the furthest from one another that they have ever been. I do not recognise them. They are otherworldly in their strangeness, and oceanic in their beauty. They are half-beings in the half-light and in an instant my heart shatters, and I become half a mother, twice”.
How to become a parent with such a rocky start?

Mother Ship (which just came out in paperback) tracks Segal’s journey in the hospital those first weeks. It’s also a story of solidarity & community. The friendships with parents & staff in the NICU are beautifully brought to life. No one can do this alone.

Segal dedicates this book to the NHS for ‘the compassion, generosity & fundamental values’ she found there. It’s no mean feat to manage ‘compassion & generosity’ with the ongoing attacks to the welfare state in the UK, but in the NHS these qualities remain. This is worth remembering when the emphasis nowadays is on the NHS’s shortcomings & flaws.

[Caroline · Rating 5 out of 5]

I never normally write reviews but this extraordinary book deserves one. It is a rare thing when a writer is able to walk you through such a deeply personal and heart wrenching experience with such eloquence that you feel as if you are reading poetry. I devoured this book in 2 sittings, staying up till the early hours of the morning....and now that I am finished I only wish I had taken my time so I could still be reading this story.

[Catherine · Rating 5 out of 5]

I listened to this as an audiobook, narrated by the author. Francesca Segal has a beautiful voice, I'm glad I opted to listen to this memoir rather than read it.

She relates her experiences of giving birth to her premature twin daughters, known only as A-lette and B-lette during the early sections of the book, and their resulting NICU stay. She sheds light on this hidden world, the immense compassion she finds in the staff and her fellow parents as well as the utterly brutal nature of some of the medical procedures her daughters endure.

This was a somewhat peculiar read for me, I also had twin daughters, also my first pregnancy. They were born at 23 weeks and my eldest daughter died in the NICU. So this was looking into a life that 'might have been' my own and a lot of it I found familiar despite the different circumstances.

Many of the thoughts that Francesca Segal articulates so wonderfully, echo my own poor clumsy versions. Loved her descriptions of being pregnant with twins, your own girl gang. Such a miraculous feeling! Then the birth and the feeling that your own body failed your babies, yourself and your partner. The strange otherworldly beauty of extremely preterm babies. Thoughts of them as voyagers inside strange vessels. Wishing you didn't have to leave them in the hospital, going back to an outside world that suddenly feels strange and abrasive. The endless routines of pumping milk, sterilising, hand washing. The terror of that first overnight stay when all the doctors and nurses leave you!

The peculiar mix of barbarity and kindness you find in the NICU. When she described some of the early procedures, like central line insertion, I physically cringed. Think I had attempted to put that from my mind. So many of those early procedures aren't really a choice, it is a case of do this or the baby dies. But that doesn't make them any more pleasant and I found these sections brought a lot back to me. I found the author very stoic and wise, probably a far nicer parent/patient than I was!

I found her reflections on her daughter's early experiences of touch very interesting. My daughter used to speak about her 'hurting days' and had night terrors when she was a toddler. I'm always left wondering if those early experiences shaped her emotional landscape as they have her cognitive one.

[Mavinda Kaur Johal · Rating 4 out of 5]

This story is truly precious. I wept and hoped through the entirety of this diary of a mother whose twins were born prematurely and had to fight to survive. I wept and hoped for all the mothers in the NICU she wrote about. After finishing, I found myself desperately trying to Google who they might be because I so wanted everyone to be OK. It’s as much a love story about the fragility of motherhood as it is about the beauty of female friendship and the true power of an enduring marriage of equality, support and heart.
I am a loud mouth. Reading this, I did find myself initially wondering (and incredulously reading passages to HS) why Francesca wasn’t advocating for her children more and why being liked by the doctors felt more imperative than demanding a layman’s explanation to understand exactly what was wrong. When she describes watching a registrar repeatedly miss her child’s veins when inserting a cannula, I said out loud (like the prick I can be) “I would never let that happen.” But that’s me being ignorant, really. It’s so easy with the myopia of righteousness to believe there is one right way to behave in tough times, and I was wrong to initially think that. No one knows that pain until you know that pain. Francesca is amazing. She had her own strength that was expressed in its own way; an endurance I don’t believe I would ever be able to mimic; a calmness of angels; and (when needed) a voice she found through her female friendships. Opening yourself up in this way is why memoirs are always so courageous. To go through this and survive is brave, to write about it is fearless. Francesca and her husband are valiant.

[Anne · Rating 4 out of 5]

I have not had one baby never mind twins, like this author, and then add in that both are very premature and you have the premise of this amazing book. How Ms Segal found the strength - or the time - to document the journey she takes with her husband and her premature daughters astonishes me. But she doesn't just document the journey, she takes you along with her. It is beautifully written.

The author is unselfish in her descriptions of the care she and her daughters receive from NHS staff and in her support and caring with and for other mothers who bond in the NICU. The descriptions are heart breaking at times and at other times quite wonderful. She certainly had a roller-coaster ride lasting months. Her husband has to put his "normal" life on hold and he, too, is part of the emotional highs and lows as the new little family come to terms with not actually being a family yet and not being able to share their babies with relatives.

"The exhausting ride of NICU is precisely this - peril and reprieve within hours of one another. I don't know how the staff aren't all stark raving mad with it. Who takes care of these caregivers? What support is there for them, in their indefatigable support of us?"

An excellent, honest book and I am very glad Ms Segal wrote it. It gives an insight into a world I will never experience and makes me even more grateful for our NHS.

I was given a copy of this book by Netgalley in return for an honest review.

[Julia Rice · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is an outstanding memoir that gives an insight into an experience that few of us will ever have, but which anyone who is a parent will observe and thank goodness it was not them or their child. The author gave birth to her twin girls at 30 weeks' gestation. Although babies born at this stage may not survive or may have long-term health complications, this was preferable to their near-certain death if the pregnancy continued. They were born at around one kilo each and were admitted to the neonatal intensive care unit of a London hospital where they spent the first eight weeks of their lives. What follows is an account by the author of what it is like to watch your tiny fragile babies hover between life and death, enduring painful and invasive medical procedures, necessitated by numerous emergencies. The book goes into detail about many of these procedures but there is also a surprising amount of humour, which seems to be essential among parents who find themselves so stricken. The author develops a close bond with a small group of other mothers whose babies were also tiny, poorly or cheating death. It seems like the only thing that enabled her to cope at this agonising times. Most of us will not see the inside of a NICU or meet the doctors, nurses and assistants who staff them, and the author pays tribute to them here. She also gives an honest and heartbreaking account of her own struggles to come to terms with her identity as a mother at this time. This is a really engaging memoir, brilliantly written.

[Janelle · Rating 5 out of 5]

After enjoying Welcome to Glorious Tuga, I wanted to see what else Segal had written. This book arrived in my hands first. I didn't even realize it was a memoir when I requested it.

Mother Ship is a gorgeous, intense, riveting account of the days between the author's premature birth of twin girls and when she takes them home. Segal's observations are so acute, so devastatingly detailed, and delivered with the most open of hearts. It's impossible not to become swept up in her family drama and root for the twins, the parents, the hospital staff, and all the other patients.

I'm left thinking about the absolute necessity of communities of care, and why they are so intermittent in our world today. When they occur, they are everything.

Highly recommend, but not if you are currently pregnant! In many ways, this book reminded me of Kathryn Rhett's equally spellbinding memor Near Breathing: A Memoir of a Difficult Birth.

[Fiona Wilson · Rating 4 out of 5]

Actual rating 4.5

I feel truly honoured to have been able to read this account of the author and her amazing twins as they all fought for survival. I may not have children myself, but this story spoke to me on so many levels I felt as if I were right there with Francesca and all the other mums featured.

I cannot praise the author enough for putting her story out there and I sincerely hope it helps other, in some small way, to cope should the same thing ever happen to them.

Huge thanks to the author, the publisher and Netgalley for providing a copy.

[Rebecca · Rating 5 out of 5]

a beautifully crafted and honest retelling of a key life event. I loved getting an insider view to the workings of the NICU and a little insight into some of the issues facing premmie babies and also the psychological challenges facing their mothers. The writer clearly conveys her personal gratitude to the staff of the hospitals and the NHS system while also providing us with insight into the inevitable institutionalisation and powerlessness inherent for a mother in this situation. thoroughly recommended.

[Marianne · Rating 3 out of 5]

A moving and we'll written account of the preterm birth of Segal's twin girls and their battle for survival in intensive care. Segal focuses on the strength and solidarity of the parents forced to spend the first few weeks or months of their child's life in hospital- with such uncertain outcomes. I think the account was lengthy and I didn't really enjoy the transcribed WhatsApp chats and text conversations. In spite of this, Segal's heartfelt account is thoroughly worth reading and definitely helped me to put the ups and downs of my own experience of motherhood in perspective.

[Danielle Roux · Rating 5 out of 5]

Francesca Segal is able to express in poetic beauty how it feels to give birth to a very premature baby (in her case, twins) and their subsequent life in the NICU. I identified with the feelings of disbelief, shock, fear and hope - having myself had a baby born very early, too. This particular quote resonated profoundly with me: "They are half-beings in the half-light and in an instant my heart shatters, and I become half a mother, twice.”

The book is set out like a diary and the reader is taken along for the ride in the aptly named "mother ship", where motherhood is recreated to adapt to dire and yet triumphant circumstances. I so thoroughly enjoyed this book that I am now eager to read her other novels.

[Katie · Rating 4 out of 5]

I enjoyed this book and found it an easy book to read. As a mother who has had a baby in the NICU I love to hear others accounts and have great respect for any parent who has been through having a child in intensive care. I think those who share their experiences are wonderful as it does both help and educate others.
I personally didn’t find the book depicted the emotional rollercoaster that is the NICU as well as some of the other books I have read but that might just be me being picky, everyone’s experience is different and I feel the books I enjoy most are the ones I relate to the most.

[CenReads · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book must have been so difficult to write. It is such a beautiful piece of writing yet it’s so raw- I found myself emotionally attached to the twins willing them to get well.
It is truly a special book as Francesca and her family are inviting us into this heartfelt journey.
Highly recommended
Thank you to both NetGalley and Random House Uk for my eARC in exchange for my honest unbiased review

[Jamie Klingler · Rating 5 out of 5]

As a woman who doesn’t plan to have children, this would not have been on my radar had I not been invited to a dinner with the author. To say that I am blown away is an understatement- I also couldn’t have read the book without the knowledge that her twins survive and flourish. This is ultimately a book about friendship and support and the human spirit and I couldn’t put it down.

[Lisa Bywell · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book opened a door to my past and some very painful memories from when my children were in special care. But it was so beautifully done that I found it a cathartic experience. And it’s so accurate! I’ve never read anything that summed it up so perfectly. Finally, it’s a great reminder of how good the NHS really are: they saved my children’s lives after all!!

[Emma Steel · Rating 4 out of 5]

I stumbled across this book by way of a podcast, and I’m so glad I did. Beautiful words, eloquently written. This is a love story (her father is Eric Segal) but also gives thanks to the NHS. How lucky the UK is to have it, and this story highlights the miracles it performs every day.

I’ll read some more books by Francesca as I really liked her style of writing.

[Jill · Rating 5 out of 5]

Mother Ship is the gripping diary of Francesca Segal in the months following the premature birth of her twin girls. All the usual expectations of new parenthood are obliterated as Segal makes a temporary life among a band of preemie mothers. A powerful reflection on the sustaining nature of women’s friendships, "Mother Ship" is a terrific read.

[Sue Reynolds · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow. Loved this book. Both the different subject matter and the way it’s written. Witty and heart rendering and joyful all in one package. A testament to the strength of women and the secret club you enter when you become a mother that you didn’t even know was there. The end made me cry and not many books do that!

[Kirsty Callaghan · Rating 5 out of 5]

Such a beautifully written memoir about the shadowy world of premature babies (something that you don’t really hear about enough). One chapter in particular really resonated with me as a first time mum. Would highly recommend!

[Isabella Lynch · Rating 5 out of 5]

Francesca is a beautiful writer. This book is absolutely stunning. Well worth the wait, I pre ordered Mother Ship on Pandora Sykes recommendation on the High Low podcast last year when I was pregnant. Highly recommend! Especially for parents.